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1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,572
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:08,174
Come and watch pikeys making a mess
3
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:11,855
of the lives they were given by
'im upstairs...
4
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,898
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:16,095
Wicked!
6
00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,499
Piss off!
7
00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:21,368
What sounds on Earth
could ever replace
8
00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:24,497
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
9
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:26,935
Cos this, people reckon -
me included -
10
00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:29,488
is why pubs and drugs
11
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,172
were kindly invented...
12
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,774
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
13
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:38,570
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
14
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:44,815
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes...
15
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,379
You sit on our head,
16
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:49,133
but... you pay the taxes.
17
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,619
CHEERING
18
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,373
Imagine Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
19
00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:56,691
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer, eh?
20
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,259
Eh!
21
00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:02,094
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
22
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:07,049
Make poverty history!
Cheaper drugs now!
23
00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:08,459
CHUCKLES
24
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:12,169
Scatter! Party!
25
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:24,489
(Lillian) 'My Brendan were a strapping lad
as a youngster.
26
00:01:24,580 --> 00:01:27,458
'Arms like hams. Shapely in the leg.
27
00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:30,976
'Had a look of a young
John Nettles without the hair.
28
00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:34,370
'Bergerac period,
not Midsomer - no, ta.
29
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:36,894
'Gone to seed by then.
30
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:40,575
'Dream fella, Brendan.
Knew he were t'one for me.
31
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,015
'Took months to wear him down.
32
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,773
'So handsome.
All t'girls wanted him.'
33
00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:52,410
(Norma) Fuck off, Worzel!
Do you have to do that every night?
34
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,694
It's Lillian!
35
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,735
Lillian?
36
00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:57,575
It's really late!
37
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,970
I've been clubbing,
but I think there's a burst gas main.
38
00:02:01,060 --> 00:02:02,379
Smell it?
39
00:02:02,460 --> 00:02:05,099
(Lillian) 'I was so certain
we were meant to be together.
40
00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:07,057
'He got bored arguing and gave in.
41
00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:11,258
'And we were largely happy - apart
from the affairs and the drinking.'
42
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,854
SIRENS WAIL
43
00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:14,577
What the fuck?!
44
00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:17,094
'There's only room
for one great love in my life.'
45
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,250
Clear the area! Wake everyone!
46
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,649
'... but there's plenty of time
for a few small ones.
47
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:23,890
'I bloody hope so, anyway.'
48
00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:24,651
Fire brigade!
49
00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,412
'I really miss me cock.'
50
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:27,728
KNOCK ON DOOR
51
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:32,177
Fire brigade! Fire brigade!
Fire brigade!
52
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,777
Clot on the sofa's
trying to light a fag, boss!
53
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:38,215
Fire brigade! Stand away!
54
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:40,894
Hang on... hang on... Oh!
55
00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:42,095
Coming through!
56
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,893
Fucking hell!
57
00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:52,053
I think we've found our burst main.
58
00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:02,889
Ribbons! Blood! MY blood!
59
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:03,776
Are you all right, Dad?
60
00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:06,579
Get a bucket! I don't want to cause a mess
61
00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,298
while I'm bleeding to fucking death!
62
00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:11,338
Ooooh, chin up, love!
Baby doesn't like blood.
63
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:14,651
Oh, fucking hell, it's Bo Selecta -
I'm having a bad dream!
64
00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:16,332
Should have let you suffocate!
65
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:17,057
Aaagh!
66
00:03:17,140 --> 00:03:19,370
- John - upstairs -
open some windows.
67
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,176
- Yes, Boss.
68
00:03:20,260 --> 00:03:21,249
What's with the torsos?
69
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:22,819
Doing a hen night.
70
00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:24,128
Do you know how much we're paid?
71
00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,494
'Kin helll He's bleating -
72
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,140
I'm the one looking
at the stairway to heaven here!
73
00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:29,335
- We'll drop him at the hospital.
74
00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:33,811
Oh, what - all the ambulances
mobile DJs, are they, this evening?
75
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,492
Come on. Anyone going with him?
76
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:38,811
Are you mad? They know him down
at casualty better than we do!
77
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:42,859
Oh cheers, progeny! Beloved spawn...
78
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,693
So-called... loved one!
79
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:49,939
Right, I'm off to my pit.
80
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:53,410
Mum's got Katie to give me
a full night for a change.
81
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:57,573
I won't be able to kip, now.
All those firemen!
82
00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:59,890
Yeah! Cliche, but I'd do 'em!
83
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:01,254
I'll have one of them.
84
00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:03,774
HORN BLARES
85
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:06,977
ENGINE SOUNDS
86
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:09,972
Pissed off without me, again.
87
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:12,368
Does that happen a lot?
88
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,734
Arseholes!
89
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:14,889
- Brew?
90
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:15,935
Have you got anything stronger?
91
00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:17,692
With my dad in the house?
No chance!
92
00:04:17,780 --> 00:04:22,251
Thought you'd be all "Don't drink
on duty, Ma'am - babies to save".
93
00:04:22,340 --> 00:04:26,811
I'm not on duty. We were passing,
thought we'd check it out, save the boys a trip.
94
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,777
You the couple of the house?
95
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:30,976
Not even close.
96
00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:32,254
I'm single.
97
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,535
What, brother and sister?
98
00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:37,657
I don't know why I even bother asking
questions about families. They're all so...
99
00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:38,695
Fucked.
100
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:40,008
Yeah.
101
00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:43,534
HORN BLARES
102
00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:46,088
Ah! They care, after all!
103
00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:49,490
You should have a smoke alarm,
with that old piss-pot living here.
104
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,491
No offence.
105
00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:52,808
None taken.
106
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:54,618
- Want to come back
and fit one for us?
107
00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:57,453
Yeah - come and do that.
108
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:00,489
Why not?
109
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:01,695
Tomorrow?
110
00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,415
OK. Sean.
111
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:07,649
Mandy.
112
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,014
Lan.
113
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,692
All right?
114
00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,137
Jesus, I'm so obvious!
115
00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:20,175
Just a bit!
116
00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,215
Fit or what?
117
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,177
He won't go for you, Mand.
118
00:05:23,260 --> 00:05:24,488
There's a vote of confidence!
119
00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:25,854
No, he bats for us.
120
00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:28,454
Piss off! Him? No way.
121
00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:30,576
Tenner says I give him one
before you do.
122
00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:33,891
You think everyone's gay.
Can't you be different on your own?
123
00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:35,333
Money, and mouth!
124
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:39,459
Bollocks! Tenner.
125
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,293
You'd better not win!
I'm gagging for it.
126
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:53,096
One here, one upstairs.
127
00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:56,616
All lethal, flammable
boozehounds covered!
128
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,213
I've got cake.
129
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:01,736
Ta. Er... I've got a shift.
130
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,096
Listen... Fancy a drink?
131
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:11,090
Shit!
132
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,578
Bastard!
133
00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:15,854
He's at work.
134
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:18,408
The Jockey.
135
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:30,733
Number of kids you've had, you could
pop 'em without touching the sides.
136
00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:32,617
I mean, why bother?
137
00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:36,010
Because this little baba
is going to be done proper,
138
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:38,091
and I want his daddy there!
139
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:42,617
He'll only nick all the drugs
or start a ruck or summat!
140
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:47,455
I could be your birthing partner. Ask me!
141
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,973
No. Frank is doing it,
142
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:52,575
and he's coming to antenata!
To learn how to do it right.
143
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,689
Oh, my God! Stacy-Ann?
144
00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:02,334
THE Stacy-Ann?
145
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,650
She's a cabbage!
You can do well better!
146
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:06,332
She's all right when
you get to know her.
147
00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:09,457
I DO know her! Suet dumpling.
148
00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:11,371
Aidy Simpson said
I should give her a go.
149
00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:12,449
That dick?
150
00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:18,376
Trust me, man, she's well worth it.
Best ever! Ever! Hidden depths.
151
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:21,133
He gets anyone he wants
and she's his best ever.
152
00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:23,051
As long as she doesn't get smitten.
153
00:07:23,140 --> 00:07:24,289
Smitten?
154
00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:29,454
When she says "smitten", you
gotta bail. Got me? Smitten - bail.
155
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:33,328
That is a pathetic reason to go out
with someone. "My mate told me tol"
156
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,773
Why do you care?
157
00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:38,170
(Frank) Trapped in a circle on the...
158
00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:38,817
That's Dad!
159
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,413
What are you doing here?
160
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:44,891
Oh - abandoned,
tossed out - NHS rubbish!
161
00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:48,211
No sharps, medical waste...
162
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:51,497
Bevan'd be turning in his grave!
Fucking bollocks!
163
00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:55,539
Same old, same old -
trapping in a fucking circle!
164
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:56,575
Mum's looking for you.
165
00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:59,049
A circle of shite.
166
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:05,734
Tits first.
167
00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:06,809
LAUGHTER
168
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:07,935
Mum and Dad!
169
00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:13,890
What's this? Shagging our lass?
In me own gaff?
170
00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:16,858
I bet he's got the working equipment!
Unlike some!
171
00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:20,535
Piss off! Last time I saw to you,
you couldn't walk for a week!
172
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:21,575
That were a shock!
173
00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:25,096
All right, mate? It's Carl, isn't it?
Don't mind me and the missus, mate.
174
00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:28,331
If she could give a decent hum job,
she'd be a diamond.
175
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,092
Stay for a bit of tea, Carl?
176
00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:31,010
You don't have to.
177
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,250
Shut up, you!
We like to get to know your friends.
178
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,535
What do you say, Carly?
Pork chops and minty tats?
179
00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:36,655
Ta.
180
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:38,458
You can call me Teresa, love.
181
00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:40,929
The pig's Dave.
182
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,456
Look at the arse on that, eh?
Not bad for an old bird.
183
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:52,653
Bag of pear drops and a penny chew,
please, Mister.
184
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,097
I need a piss.
185
00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:03,095
Beer pourer - barman. Toucher
of old men's cocks - rent boy.
186
00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:04,693
Do you see the difference?
187
00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:06,338
Seems to know a lot about it.
188
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,810
While we're on old people,
shouldn't we ban that?
189
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:15,020
That's her new fella!
Jeff works in finance.
190
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:21,169
Hiya, Fireman Sam! Didn't recognise
you with your kecks on!
191
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,979
Well, same problem for me,
gas victim!
192
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:26,415
So... coincidence?
193
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,572
No, I've just been fitting your
smoke alarm and Mandy said, erm...
194
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,696
I had a bet on with her.
195
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,736
Let me guess...
196
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:37,373
Buy us a pint with your winnings!
197
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:40,054
- I get off in ten minutes.
- Yeah?
198
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,768
I've got a room.
199
00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:45,135
You a bit of a slag, Ian?
200
00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:47,734
Too right!
You a bit of a prude, Sean?
201
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:48,775
Only to slags.
202
00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:55,652
So... what? Six months courting,
meet the parents, find out my intentions?
203
00:09:55,740 --> 00:09:58,698
Summat like that! Get us a pint.
204
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,579
Driving us, then?
205
00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,218
Where to?
206
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,619
Trampolining. I said.
207
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,179
Oh...
208
00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:10,173
Right. Do you want
dropping anywhere, Carl?
209
00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:11,295
Yeah, ta.
210
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:14,133
There's a spare chop here.
No need to hurry away.
211
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:20,051
Well, you can't have it!
Not with that great hanging gut!
212
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:21,368
Right, see you later then.
213
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:33,537
Do you know?
214
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:36,134
I believe I've miscounted.
215
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,733
There isn't another chop.
216
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:39,014
I'll see if I can catch them up...
217
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,214
Have you had your portion, Carly?
218
00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:46,250
I'm not sure I have.
219
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,976
Perhaps I should suck on your bone.
220
00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:53,495
If you want.
221
00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,412
End of my shift.
222
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,616
I don't shag strangers.
223
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,770
Why don't you try something new?
224
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,168
All right. Why not?
225
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,215
PAGER BEEPS
226
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:20,528
Shit!
227
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:21,575
What?
228
00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:23,139
Emergency pager.
229
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:26,690
BEEPING CONTINUES
230
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,290
It'll just be a kid with his head
stuck in some railings.
231
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,651
Who-who-whoah! Easy, tiger!
232
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,331
Oooh! Oooh!
233
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:19,369
Oh, yes! Oooh! Oh, yes!
234
00:12:19,460 --> 00:12:21,530
Oh! Oh, yes!
235
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:24,737
Listen, all you have to do is be there
and bring me some flowers
236
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,129
or something!
237
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:28,858
I know my limitations.
238
00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:30,976
All I am saying is just
239
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:36,134
be there and hold my hand and say
"Welcome to the world, little babyl"
240
00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:39,735
I didn't want to say, and I know you
don't like me mentioning this, but...
241
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:43,730
...it's them little twins.
242
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,299
I was there at the birth and it was
243
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:49,214
like the fucking Battle of the Somme.
I couldn't go through that again.
244
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:53,657
Right. So you did it for her,
but you won't do it for me!
245
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:57,653
Look, it's not... Ah!
246
00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:00,618
It's not just the...
247
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,849
horror.
248
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:03,817
It's the memories.
249
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:07,256
It's all I've got left of Gordon and Delia.
250
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:09,649
You can give me that, can't you?
251
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:13,255
It tears my heart out
every time I think of them.
252
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,695
You, more than anyone, you know
253
00:13:15,780 --> 00:13:19,216
what it's like
not to be with your kiddies.
254
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,177
Nigel and Delia.
255
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:24,972
It's Nigel and Delia, not Gordon!
256
00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:28,177
Piss off! How many of you are there?
257
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:31,809
I'm bound to get the odd name wrong,
aren't I? What am I, a census?!
258
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,460
You are coming!
259
00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:36,575
Look, I just...
260
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,653
Fuckin' little...
261
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:44,254
thingy in the nest, you are!
Fuck you!
262
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:47,138
If I'd fathered you,
I'd tear me own balls off!
263
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:49,575
If you'd fathered me, I'd help!
264
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,336
You should have got
a chair years ago.
265
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:59,214
Suits you never having
to get off your arse.
266
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,417
Abused, slashed...
Why do I come in here?
267
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,492
Because we serve beer
and we haven't barred you this week.
268
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:10,059
You've been getting some, haven't you?
269
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,209
Why d'you say that?
270
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:13,177
I can tell.
271
00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:15,774
You're all smug-looking and shit.
272
00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:18,499
Cheers, Mickey.
Glad you're so pleased for us.
273
00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:19,979
It's true, then?
274
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,175
Maybe.
275
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,773
Oh, sorry, mate.
276
00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:25,215
Out my fuckin' space, man!
277
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,655
Touching me! What are you,
some kind of fuckin' queer boy?
278
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:30,254
- Shane!
- I'm sorry I accidentally touched you.
279
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:33,935
- It's all right.
- Don't do that.
280
00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:36,136
What you gonna fucking do about?
281
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:37,699
- Christ!
- Eh! That's our kid!
282
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:39,532
It's all right! It's all right!
283
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:41,576
I know him! I know him!
There's no need, yeah?
284
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:44,254
There's no need, eh?
It's only Shane.
285
00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:45,773
You know what he's like!
286
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,215
Come on.
287
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,612
He well deserved that!
He's a prick and a half!
288
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,372
- I was a prick, too.
- It was hot!
289
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,532
I wasn't expecting you to...
290
00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:11,337
Look, we've done it your way -
let's try mine.
291
00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:14,492
How about I take you
away from all this?
292
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:16,854
What? Take me where?
293
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:19,500
Well, there's only one way
to find out, isn't there?
294
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,253
Are you coming?
295
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:36,372
Is that where you chuck a ribbon
in the air and dance about on a mat?
296
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:39,293
Or a ball.
297
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:40,699
What?
298
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,577
Chuck a ball in the air, too.
299
00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:45,249
When?
300
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,696
Rhythmic gymnastics.
You were asking!
301
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:50,771
Oh, yeah. Great.
302
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:56,049
Ah! The lovebirds!
303
00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:59,098
Cooing and billing - nice!
304
00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:01,535
You off for physical jerks, madam?
305
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,770
The exercise she does and she
still thinks she's got a hymen!
306
00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,418
Mum!
307
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,535
Getting me kit.
308
00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,770
What a waste,
when she's got this one!
309
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:11,294
D'you remember when you were
a bit of a specimen, Dave?
310
00:16:11,380 --> 00:16:13,098
This morning, weren't it?
311
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,091
You wish.
312
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,531
Drop you anywhere, Carl?
313
00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:19,814
I'm fine, thanks.
314
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:21,333
Dad.
315
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:32,088
Don't know anything, does he?
316
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:33,738
Course he doesn't.
317
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,014
He wouldn't care anyway.
318
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,374
You sure?
319
00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:37,415
Of course I am.
320
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,449
Trousers off!
321
00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:56,132
No... Argh!
No, it's not for me, that one!
322
00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:00,615
Yes!
323
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,898
This is Jeff - works in finance.
324
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:08,730
That right?
325
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,572
Don't expect to get
anyone at my age,
326
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,458
never mind someone wi' a proper job!
327
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:15,019
So how did you meet?
328
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,294
Slow dating.
329
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:18,895
What's that?
330
00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:20,572
Speed dating for pensioners.
331
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,218
Do you watch Corrie?
332
00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:25,253
Do you watch Corrie?
333
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,772
Do you watch Corrie?
334
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:31,330
I sometimes watch Emmerdale!
335
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:34,776
Fuck it - that'll have to do!
336
00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:37,294
We've been inseparable ever since.
337
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:40,770
So what exactly do you do
in finance, Jeff?
338
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,055
Security.
339
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,212
Very responsible!
340
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,495
Pushbike squad!
341
00:17:49,580 --> 00:17:51,491
Mountain bike patrol!
342
00:17:51,580 --> 00:17:53,969
It's not a demotion - they're
better for getting round the estates.
343
00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:55,732
How can we help?
344
00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:57,651
- Frank been in?
- It's a day of the week, isn't it?
345
00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:59,890
- We're gunning for him.
- He knows why, too!
346
00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:01,538
So where are your bikes?
347
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,531
Outside.
348
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:04,814
Outside here?
349
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,937
Police are looking for you!
350
00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,772
What? Oh...
351
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:17,537
This is what happens when
you live life on the margins!
352
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:20,373
Society releases its pitbulls.
353
00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:22,815
Been robbing charity boxes again, have we?
354
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:23,889
Fuck off!
355
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:30,539
Where've you been?
356
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:34,499
- Bridlington. Gay capital of Yorkshire!
- Yeah?
357
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,140
Got taken away.
Hotel and everything!
358
00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:38,448
What's with the bag?
359
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,815
Gonna be at The Jockey for a bit.
360
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:45,457
What?
361
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:48,816
You know gays are, like,
famous for casual sex and that?
362
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:50,094
Go on, surprise me!
363
00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:52,899
Is that all there is? I mean,
364
00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:55,494
you go out with someone
and it's all right, but...
365
00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:59,539
you want to shag their friend
and you like them, but...
366
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:02,612
I mean, is it all right to have
sex with someone that you don't
367
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,497
even like if it's really good sex?
368
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:07,652
And they can cook!
Or does that not matter?
369
00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:11,255
Listen, are you shagging our mum?
370
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:14,138
How d'you guess?
371
00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:27,936
Hey, we're ticking a list -
sex, travel, food...
372
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:29,248
Peanut butter's rank!
373
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:31,649
Cheers. What's next?
374
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:34,095
- Meeting mates?
- Meeting family?
375
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:37,331
No chance!
I wouldn't inflict mine on anyone!
376
00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,012
Honestly!
377
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:42,775
That's stiff for someone who
stayed in a hotel with someone.
378
00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:45,932
God, you really are young and naive,
aren't you?
379
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:49,899
You think that was a hotel?
Barely even made it to guesthouse.
380
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,778
Why'd you take me there?
Am I a cheap date?
381
00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:54,213
- No, it's gay friendly.
- How?
382
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,291
The woman serving there had a tache.
383
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:02,296
Oh... Peanut butter!
384
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:03,495
Fuckin' hell!
385
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:04,296
Nasty!
386
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:12,737
Gallagher!
387
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,697
Come here! Frank!
388
00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:20,379
Frank! Can you stop?
389
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:23,418
Frank! Come here! Gallagher!
390
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,330
You should be ashamed of yourself!
391
00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:31,129
Oh, spare me the fuckin' lecture!
392
00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:34,735
Hospital property, Francis!
You're lucky it was us that saw the CCTV!
393
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:38,608
Anyone else, you'd be on a charge.
394
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:42,010
They're not superficial, you know! They hurt!
395
00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:51,930
So... You stole a wheelchair to try
and get out of going to antenatal classes?
396
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:53,214
Yes!
397
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,094
Tosser!
398
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:04,176
I don't care if Monday's blue
399
00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:07,377
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too...
400
00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:08,495
You remember Sean, don't you?
401
00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:11,174
The Shane nutter!
Yeah, we've met.
402
00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:12,170
I'm really sorry about that.
403
00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:14,694
Well, Sean's probably
gonna be around for a bit,
404
00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:17,453
if he plays his cards right.
405
00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:19,212
Howdy doody!
406
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,336
Yeah. You off out?
407
00:21:23,420 --> 00:21:24,409
Yeah.
408
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,456
Hey, you couldn't give
us a hand, could ya?
409
00:21:26,540 --> 00:21:29,008
Yeah.
410
00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:31,694
Can't we even have a family drink
without you going off on one?
411
00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:34,499
It's not my fault you
can't get it up any more.
412
00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:37,048
I didn't hear you complaining
this morning!
413
00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:43,814
Yeah? What d'you want? I can't talk now.
I'll be there.
414
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,253
Look, I've got to go.
415
00:21:45,340 --> 00:21:46,568
What's up?
416
00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:49,493
Nothing. Just...
417
00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:52,413
a crisis at work. I'll see ya.
418
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,411
I'm sorry.
419
00:21:58,340 --> 00:21:59,819
What's all that about?
420
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,299
Dunno.
421
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:05,373
You don't think it was
"if he plays his cards right", do you?
422
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:08,692
I'm such a dick!
423
00:22:18,780 --> 00:22:20,930
Teresa, we can't!
424
00:22:22,940 --> 00:22:25,295
Scared of showing your cock, Carl?
425
00:22:26,380 --> 00:22:27,574
Er, no!
426
00:22:27,660 --> 00:22:30,572
Bit of a bad... pint.
427
00:22:30,660 --> 00:22:32,616
You were drinking Coke!
428
00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:34,895
I'm having a shit, Dave!
429
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:50,255
Jeez, Teresa -
it's too close for me!
430
00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:52,979
I can't help meself, love. I'm smitten!
431
00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,654
Smitten? Bail!
432
00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:58,254
You've really touched me.
433
00:22:58,340 --> 00:23:00,376
And I don't just mean the sex.
434
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:05,578
I hate hurting Dave.
435
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:08,049
I hate it.
436
00:23:08,140 --> 00:23:11,018
But what can I do?
437
00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:13,773
D'you feel the same way, Carl?
438
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:15,532
Say you do!
439
00:23:15,620 --> 00:23:18,498
Yeah. Course I do!
440
00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:21,219
This is big time now.
441
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:24,451
But if you want to stop,
you say the word.
442
00:23:24,540 --> 00:23:27,373
Can I rely on you?
443
00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:28,973
Yeah, course you can.
444
00:23:33,180 --> 00:23:35,774
ZIP OPENS
445
00:23:37,820 --> 00:23:41,654
Ian! Hey, wait up!
446
00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:45,931
Weren't sure I'd see you again.
447
00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:47,851
Why?
448
00:23:47,940 --> 00:23:49,214
Your excuse.
449
00:23:49,300 --> 00:23:51,211
Your work crisis.
There wasn't one, was there?
450
00:23:51,300 --> 00:23:57,455
Hey, hey, it was a crisis.
Just not work.
451
00:23:58,620 --> 00:23:59,894
It was my brother.
452
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,097
It was just too boring
to tell you the truth.
453
00:24:03,180 --> 00:24:06,855
I thought I messed up coming across
all Mr Cocky Bollocks
454
00:24:06,940 --> 00:24:08,931
in front of Jamie and Karen.
455
00:24:09,020 --> 00:24:11,056
Course you didn't.
456
00:24:11,140 --> 00:24:15,053
If you say something
that pisses me off, I'll tell you.
457
00:24:15,140 --> 00:24:16,778
I promise.
458
00:24:16,860 --> 00:24:19,328
You do the same for me.
459
00:24:23,340 --> 00:24:26,537
Where you off?
460
00:24:26,620 --> 00:24:28,133
I was going home.
461
00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:29,414
Do you fancy a visitor?
462
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:30,933
Everyone's in.
463
00:24:32,060 --> 00:24:33,095
And?
464
00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,818
You really want to meet the fuckers?
465
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:36,811
Yeah!
466
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:41,889
- Right, come on.
- Right, then!
467
00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:49,850
Hiya, love. Give us a kiss.
468
00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:51,851
I can't, we're on a wages run.
469
00:24:51,940 --> 00:24:56,092
You can stop long enough to give
your girlfriend a kiss.
470
00:24:56,180 --> 00:24:59,695
Oh, two seconds, Bradley. Come here!
471
00:25:02,860 --> 00:25:03,895
What?!
472
00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:04,890
Did you do this?
473
00:25:04,980 --> 00:25:05,776
No, I didn't!
474
00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:07,452
You're an inside woman.
475
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,132
It's a set up!
476
00:25:09,220 --> 00:25:12,292
I didn't, Trev. Don't hate me!
477
00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:22,090
I was going to the chemist.
Condom run for the girls.
478
00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:23,215
Don't tell us that!
479
00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:23,857
It's the truth!
480
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,896
Let's not complicate the armed robbery
481
00:25:25,980 --> 00:25:28,938
with living off immoral earnings.
You'll get 15 years.
482
00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:29,418
In prison?!
483
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,730
No-one thinks Lillian was involved.
484
00:25:31,820 --> 00:25:34,493
Judas! Judas!
485
00:25:34,580 --> 00:25:36,332
Does that mean we're finished?
486
00:25:36,420 --> 00:25:38,650
Judas!
487
00:25:38,740 --> 00:25:42,096
I think he really meant it. I've been dumped.
488
00:25:48,940 --> 00:25:52,012
So, you don't care that I'm scared?
489
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:55,888
And what about me? There's no point
in us both cracking it, is there?
490
00:26:00,460 --> 00:26:03,975
Come on, we're fucking useless.
We both know it.
491
00:26:10,420 --> 00:26:13,412
I know. I'll do you a swap.
492
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:16,219
You come to the birth,
493
00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:20,896
and I will get the doctor to put
in an extra stitch downstairs.
494
00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:22,777
Honeymoon fresh.
495
00:26:26,740 --> 00:26:28,571
Make it two,
and you got yourself a deal.
496
00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:32,531
Tinker.
497
00:26:32,620 --> 00:26:36,215
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
498
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:40,133
- Monica Gallagher.
499
00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:41,414
Oi!
500
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:44,378
Just realised what you look
like with those bandages on.
501
00:26:44,460 --> 00:26:47,611
Oh, surprise and delight me
with your acute observation!
502
00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:48,655
The Mummy!
503
00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:51,413
LAUGHTER
504
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:53,968
Everyone's a comedian!
505
00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:03,416
Gary Bennett's died.
506
00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:04,694
What, the impressionist?
507
00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:06,930
No, Ian's real dad.
508
00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:09,453
Oh.
509
00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:10,973
Good.
510
00:27:18,580 --> 00:27:19,535
This is Sean.
511
00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:23,615
Hello.
512
00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:24,735
All right?
513
00:27:24,820 --> 00:27:27,288
It's official then? You two an item?
514
00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:30,417
Yeah, laugh once, then get over it.
515
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:31,979
Bastards.
516
00:27:32,060 --> 00:27:34,733
Sean, I've got some photos of Ian from when
he was a baby, do you wanna see?
517
00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:37,414
If you said you were bringing a new
friend round, I would have hoovered!
518
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:38,330
Yeah, all right!
519
00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:40,297
KNOCK AT DOOR
520
00:27:40,380 --> 00:27:41,938
Do you wanna sit down, Sean?
521
00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:43,612
Ta.
522
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:48,251
Are you Liam? I hear you've got
a healthy interest in fire.
523
00:27:48,340 --> 00:27:49,295
I've grown out of that.
524
00:27:49,380 --> 00:27:53,851
Oh. All right. You won't want
a ride in the engine, then?
525
00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:57,091
No, I want that. I really want that!
526
00:27:57,700 --> 00:27:58,894
For you, Carl.
527
00:27:58,980 --> 00:27:59,776
Who is it?
528
00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,088
Quick, mind.
529
00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:12,456
I've left him, Carl!
530
00:28:12,540 --> 00:28:15,771
I've finally left him! For real, this time.
531
00:28:17,060 --> 00:28:19,858
And I've told him everything - everything!
532
00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:32,733
I'm free, Carl. I'm free!
533
00:28:32,820 --> 00:28:36,176
This is the real Teresa.
I just bombed out the house.
534
00:28:36,260 --> 00:28:37,295
What did Dave say?
535
00:28:37,380 --> 00:28:40,452
Terrible things. Oh, some threats.
536
00:28:40,540 --> 00:28:42,656
He's a horrible, cruel man.
537
00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:46,858
I blame Strangeways. Brutalised him.
538
00:28:46,940 --> 00:28:48,259
Why was he there?
539
00:28:48,340 --> 00:28:52,413
GBH with menaces. Six years.
540
00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:56,129
Very harsh.
Fella's still got his other eye.
541
00:28:57,460 --> 00:29:01,976
Just hold me, Carl. Just hold me!
542
00:29:02,060 --> 00:29:06,099
When I say just hold me,
I didn't mean just hold me!
543
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:08,410
Do me, Carl!
544
00:29:09,620 --> 00:29:11,258
What? What is it?
545
00:29:11,340 --> 00:29:13,854
I can't. Not here.
546
00:29:13,940 --> 00:29:18,172
Don't be scared. You've seen the belly on him.
You can outrun that porker until Christmas.
547
00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:20,649
- I'll get us a shag pad.
- Yeah.
548
00:29:20,740 --> 00:29:22,458
Then we can be together.
549
00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:24,576
What?
550
00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:27,379
You're not gonna let me down.
Are you?
551
00:29:29,780 --> 00:29:32,089
Just gonna get a cup of...
552
00:29:42,220 --> 00:29:43,573
Jesus!
553
00:29:43,660 --> 00:29:45,378
In case you wondered, you're dumped.
554
00:29:45,460 --> 00:29:45,812
Sorry.
555
00:29:45,900 --> 00:29:49,131
My dad's gonna tear your dick off
and shove it in your mouth.
556
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:53,896
Thought you liked me.
Taking advantage of me like that. Scum!
557
00:29:58,260 --> 00:29:59,375
That's what you gotta do.
558
00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:00,495
What?
559
00:30:00,580 --> 00:30:01,899
Dump the geriatric weirdo.
560
00:30:01,980 --> 00:30:03,208
It's not that easy.
561
00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:07,737
Yeah, it is. Just tell her
she's a dirty old perv. Chuck her.
562
00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:08,696
How?
563
00:30:08,780 --> 00:30:10,008
Tell her now.
564
00:30:16,380 --> 00:30:17,893
Is it always like this?
565
00:30:17,980 --> 00:30:19,208
Pretty much.
566
00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:22,770
I'll kill myself! I'll throw
myself under a bin lorry!
567
00:30:22,860 --> 00:30:25,294
I'm not gonna lose ya, I won't!
568
00:30:25,380 --> 00:30:32,058
No, no, stop it! I wasn't gonna chuck ya,
I wasn't. Honest.
569
00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:37,419
I was gonna suggest someone
who might have a flat for us.
570
00:30:40,860 --> 00:30:43,499
Sweet, sweet boy.
571
00:30:48,060 --> 00:30:52,178
I'll stay at me sister's for now.
Walk me there.
572
00:31:15,620 --> 00:31:17,531
- See ya later.
- See ya later.
573
00:31:20,140 --> 00:31:22,779
Could you stop smiling?
You're making me puke.
574
00:31:22,860 --> 00:31:25,579
You must have a fit straight friend
I could do.
575
00:31:25,660 --> 00:31:27,616
I'm too busy shagging to meet friends.
576
00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:30,009
Shame. I remember that.
577
00:31:30,100 --> 00:31:32,091
It's like a distant memory.
578
00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:34,296
Think it's time I got back on the bike.
579
00:31:36,260 --> 00:31:37,739
You look good together.
580
00:31:37,820 --> 00:31:38,855
Piss off.
581
00:31:38,940 --> 00:31:43,013
I mean it! Not as good as
I'd look with him, but!
582
00:31:46,620 --> 00:31:50,090
Debbie, have you got anything black
that would fit me?
583
00:31:50,180 --> 00:31:52,740
Erm, no. Why don't you try Norma?
584
00:31:52,820 --> 00:31:55,971
Can hardly wear one of
her T-shirts to a funeral.
585
00:31:56,060 --> 00:31:57,334
Who's died?
586
00:31:57,420 --> 00:32:03,131
Oh, sorry, love... it's your dad.
587
00:32:04,140 --> 00:32:09,373
- Dad?!
- Oh, not that dad, Ian's dad. Gary.
588
00:32:09,460 --> 00:32:11,530
Shit.
589
00:32:11,620 --> 00:32:14,896
You didn't know him, though, did you?
590
00:32:16,020 --> 00:32:17,214
Uh...
591
00:32:17,300 --> 00:32:19,814
I didn't actually know you knew who he was.
592
00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:23,688
It was a chat I've been
meaning to have together.
593
00:32:23,780 --> 00:32:25,452
I'm not going to get the chance
to know him now.
594
00:32:25,540 --> 00:32:26,689
Mmmm.
595
00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:29,578
Do you go to the funera!
Of everyone you've slept with?
596
00:32:29,660 --> 00:32:34,939
Debbie, that would be absurd. No,
I gave him a clock and I want it back.
597
00:32:35,020 --> 00:32:38,251
It were me gran's.
I always liked it.
598
00:32:38,340 --> 00:32:41,332
Probably worth enough to put up with
the names from his wife.
599
00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:42,648
Do you want to come?
600
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:56,809
See this?!
You want to take a wild guess?
601
00:32:56,900 --> 00:33:00,734
I'll see to you, Carl!
You're as good as dead!
602
00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:03,857
As good as fucking dead!
603
00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:10,855
There's your dead dad.
Not much of a turnout, is it?
604
00:33:10,940 --> 00:33:12,851
That's alcoholics for you.
605
00:33:14,940 --> 00:33:15,929
Biggish family, mind.
606
00:33:16,020 --> 00:33:17,214
Yeah.
607
00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:18,779
Nothing compared to us, though.
608
00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:22,489
Just four lads with that blonde bitch.
Panda eyes over there.
609
00:33:24,900 --> 00:33:27,414
Those four?
610
00:33:27,500 --> 00:33:30,617
Yeah. Well, you'd
have to be related to touch her.
611
00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:35,329
What is it?
612
00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:37,809
Can't stay.
613
00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:39,492
- What about me clock?
- Now!
614
00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:41,093
Oh, Ian!
615
00:33:45,140 --> 00:33:46,539
What a fuckin' mess.
616
00:33:46,620 --> 00:33:47,575
Too right.
617
00:33:47,660 --> 00:33:49,013
What's up with you?
618
00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:51,330
KNOCKING
619
00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:52,933
It's her! Don't answer!
620
00:33:53,020 --> 00:33:54,931
KNOCKING
621
00:33:55,020 --> 00:33:55,930
Don't answer!
622
00:33:56,020 --> 00:33:56,975
- Ian?
623
00:33:57,060 --> 00:33:59,210
- Ian, it's Sean.
624
00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:00,653
(Ian) Don't answer!
625
00:34:00,740 --> 00:34:01,934
First row?
626
00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:03,851
- Sean, come on!
627
00:34:03,940 --> 00:34:06,010
KNOCKING
628
00:34:06,100 --> 00:34:07,897
- Should I get that one?
- No!
629
00:34:07,980 --> 00:34:10,540
Carl? Carl? It's me.
630
00:34:10,620 --> 00:34:13,532
I've got to speak to you, love.
I've got tol
631
00:34:13,620 --> 00:34:15,736
- Ian, I need to talk to you.
632
00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:17,890
I'll see you later, love.
633
00:34:17,980 --> 00:34:19,333
- Fuck's sake!
634
00:34:19,420 --> 00:34:21,536
I'm guessing you haven't slept
with your boyfriend's dad...
635
00:34:21,620 --> 00:34:23,212
Much worse than that, mate.
636
00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:26,929
You've been a twat and now you're
paying for it. Lesson learnt.
637
00:34:27,020 --> 00:34:29,090
Not many free fucks about, are there?
638
00:34:29,180 --> 00:34:30,295
Up yours!
639
00:34:34,220 --> 00:34:36,609
- Don't!
- He's gone.
640
00:34:38,420 --> 00:34:40,012
It'll work itself out.
641
00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:41,692
Bound to be a tiff when you're starting out.
642
00:34:48,340 --> 00:34:51,537
A tiff? That's what you fuckin' think, is it?
643
00:34:51,620 --> 00:34:54,214
Do you not think I'm a real fuckin'
person? Don't think it matters
644
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:55,892
cos it's two blokes?
645
00:34:55,980 --> 00:34:58,096
Cos it's...
646
00:35:00,980 --> 00:35:02,413
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
647
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:04,933
Sorry?
648
00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:09,455
DOOR SLAMS
649
00:35:14,620 --> 00:35:15,575
All right?
650
00:35:16,660 --> 00:35:18,059
Yeah.
651
00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:21,370
Heard about your old fella.
652
00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:26,735
Yeah, well you're better off with me, son,
653
00:35:26,820 --> 00:35:29,334
cos from what I hear
he was an hopeless piss-pot.
654
00:35:29,420 --> 00:35:31,490
Yeah, and you're quite good at it.
655
00:35:31,580 --> 00:35:35,016
That I am, son. That I am.
656
00:35:37,860 --> 00:35:40,135
What's going on?
657
00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:50,456
Kids get to a certain age,
you'd rather not know what they're up to.
658
00:35:50,540 --> 00:35:52,974
I'll say.
659
00:35:53,060 --> 00:35:54,618
About two weeks old for me.
660
00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:05,650
Your dad... It was your dad who died - Gary?
661
00:36:05,740 --> 00:36:07,537
How did you know?
662
00:36:07,620 --> 00:36:11,169
Why didn't you stay?
663
00:36:11,260 --> 00:36:13,569
What?
664
00:36:15,180 --> 00:36:18,616
Old mate of my mum's.
I were keeping her company.
665
00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:21,260
I didn't know it were your...
666
00:36:21,340 --> 00:36:25,413
I saw you. I thought you'd
think I was some stalker weirdo.
667
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:27,092
It was really nice to see you.
668
00:36:27,180 --> 00:36:29,171
It meant a lot.
669
00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:32,093
Why didn't you tell me
your dad had died?
670
00:36:32,180 --> 00:36:33,772
He's...
671
00:36:33,860 --> 00:36:36,977
Well, he'd... been ill for a while.
672
00:36:37,060 --> 00:36:40,689
I got the call here -
you know, the crisis?
673
00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:44,136
It wasn't my brother, it was him.
674
00:36:44,220 --> 00:36:48,259
I don't know, it just seemed a turn-off.
We'd only just met and...
675
00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:52,049
it was all going... I didn't even like him.
676
00:36:52,140 --> 00:36:53,539
He was a joke.
677
00:36:53,620 --> 00:36:55,690
A drunk.
678
00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:58,977
Cruel, absent loser.
679
00:37:02,100 --> 00:37:04,694
I don't know.
But your dad's your dad.
680
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:09,011
Hey...
681
00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:12,058
Hey, I'm the one who should be upset.
You're looking after me.
682
00:37:12,140 --> 00:37:13,573
Yeah.
683
00:37:13,660 --> 00:37:15,093
Come here.
684
00:37:42,060 --> 00:37:45,132
All right, speak to the bloke.
Tell him to take her back.
685
00:37:45,220 --> 00:37:49,293
Very sorry, big mistake,
won't happen again. All that bollocks.
686
00:37:49,380 --> 00:37:51,336
He's gonna cut my balls off.
687
00:37:51,420 --> 00:37:53,058
Well meet him somewhere public.
688
00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:55,893
The Jockey.
What's he gonna do in there?
689
00:37:57,860 --> 00:37:59,293
Shit!
690
00:38:06,900 --> 00:38:10,256
He's not here. He works at Help the Aged.
You should try him there.
691
00:38:10,340 --> 00:38:12,092
Very funny.
692
00:38:12,180 --> 00:38:16,093
Some day you will know our love is real.
I will find him.
693
00:38:42,340 --> 00:38:43,773
Where's the fire?
694
00:38:45,540 --> 00:38:49,419
Thanks. Me dad and that.
It's important having someone...
695
00:38:52,140 --> 00:38:53,539
I haven't done anything.
696
00:38:53,620 --> 00:38:55,497
Having someone there for me.
697
00:38:55,580 --> 00:38:57,411
You're not just great sex, Ian.
698
00:38:59,220 --> 00:39:00,573
I love you.
699
00:39:06,380 --> 00:39:07,779
I don't love you.
700
00:39:12,260 --> 00:39:13,534
That's all right.
701
00:39:13,620 --> 00:39:16,180
I'm emotional.
702
00:39:16,260 --> 00:39:17,454
Blabbermouth.
703
00:39:19,060 --> 00:39:21,893
I don't wanna carry on seeing you.
704
00:39:21,980 --> 00:39:23,971
What?
705
00:39:24,060 --> 00:39:25,493
What, you're chucking me?
706
00:39:27,300 --> 00:39:29,370
My dad's just died.
707
00:39:30,980 --> 00:39:32,652
I don't believe you.
708
00:39:32,740 --> 00:39:34,253
You're not that fuckin' cruel.
709
00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:38,253
We're getting on.
We're solid. I know we are.
710
00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:41,252
What is it? There's something else?
711
00:39:42,740 --> 00:39:43,695
No...
712
00:39:43,780 --> 00:39:45,850
Yes, there is.
713
00:39:45,940 --> 00:39:48,056
What is it, Ian? Tell me.
714
00:39:48,140 --> 00:39:50,893
Look, we agreed... If I've pissed you off...
715
00:39:55,980 --> 00:39:58,210
My mum...
716
00:39:58,300 --> 00:40:00,291
Monica Gallagher.
717
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,889
She wasn't an old mate of your dad's.
718
00:40:04,980 --> 00:40:10,532
She got pregnant by him. We're brothers.
719
00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:13,615
Fuck off.
720
00:40:18,260 --> 00:40:20,057
What about the waster, Frank?
721
00:40:20,140 --> 00:40:21,653
He's my dad.
722
00:40:23,260 --> 00:40:26,138
But my real dad was Gary.
723
00:40:46,700 --> 00:40:53,219
Look, I know that this
hasn't worked out and I'm sorry.
724
00:40:53,300 --> 00:40:55,131
Really.
725
00:40:55,220 --> 00:40:56,778
I didn't mean to...
726
00:40:56,860 --> 00:40:58,054
- Take the piss out of me?
727
00:40:58,140 --> 00:41:00,335
My family,
728
00:41:00,420 --> 00:41:02,297
my whole fuckin' existence.
729
00:41:02,380 --> 00:41:05,577
No, I didn't. I just think
we need to be straight with each other.
730
00:41:05,660 --> 00:41:08,220
I love that woman.
731
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:11,610
I love the very bones of her. I can't...
732
00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:14,772
Life... Life's unimaginable without her.
733
00:41:16,420 --> 00:41:17,899
I can't see it.
734
00:41:17,980 --> 00:41:19,811
I just can't. I don't want her.
735
00:41:19,900 --> 00:41:23,449
I want you to take her back.
She's yours. Just have her.
736
00:41:25,220 --> 00:41:27,654
So you'll chuck her then,
737
00:41:27,740 --> 00:41:29,537
just like that?
738
00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:34,091
Like she was a piece of fuckin' rubbish.
739
00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:39,218
I can't get my head around it.
740
00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:40,733
We're brothers.
741
00:41:44,500 --> 00:41:46,456
I think I don't wanna stop seeing you.
742
00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:47,655
We're related.
743
00:41:47,740 --> 00:41:50,618
Yeah, but does it matter?
Does it have to be incest?
744
00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:53,897
That stuffs for straights,
to stop them having daft kids.
745
00:41:53,980 --> 00:41:55,049
We're not breeders.
746
00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:57,449
I think...
747
00:41:57,540 --> 00:42:02,250
I think we know it does.
I feel completely different.
748
00:42:02,340 --> 00:42:04,774
You do too.
749
00:42:04,860 --> 00:42:07,818
Nobody knows. We could carry on.
750
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:10,050
We just had sex, for God's sake.
751
00:42:11,660 --> 00:42:14,458
It still works.
752
00:42:14,540 --> 00:42:16,132
No, it doesn't.
753
00:42:16,220 --> 00:42:17,414
We know.
754
00:42:19,380 --> 00:42:21,769
It's over.
755
00:42:27,740 --> 00:42:29,696
Do you want a drink or something?
756
00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:33,768
We didn't want it to turn out like this.
757
00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:37,375
So what's it going to be this time then?
Both eyes?
758
00:42:38,540 --> 00:42:39,734
Or do I get you back?
759
00:42:39,820 --> 00:42:41,412
It's too late.
760
00:42:41,500 --> 00:42:44,412
No, it's not. It's not too late.
761
00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:45,455
This?
762
00:42:47,660 --> 00:42:49,730
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't.
763
00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:51,538
I'm 16.
764
00:42:52,700 --> 00:42:54,338
I'm just randy.
765
00:42:57,980 --> 00:43:01,256
Take me back or you're gonna see brains.
766
00:43:01,340 --> 00:43:03,171
Dave, don't.
767
00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:07,097
- (Dave, put the gun down).
768
00:43:07,180 --> 00:43:10,058
- Bastard!
- Oh, for Christ's sake, don't!
769
00:43:10,140 --> 00:43:11,368
Leave it, Shane!
770
00:43:12,260 --> 00:43:13,534
Let's have you!
771
00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:17,249
Dave!
772
00:43:17,340 --> 00:43:19,808
What the fuck was that?
You just fuckin' shot us?
773
00:43:19,900 --> 00:43:24,052
Dave! It was loaded! Why did you load it?
774
00:43:24,140 --> 00:43:26,495
I meant it, Teresa.
775
00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:31,370
It was really loaded.
776
00:43:31,460 --> 00:43:34,611
That's how much he needed me.
777
00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:38,579
I'm sorry, Carl. But how could I leave a man
who would do that for his woman?
778
00:43:38,660 --> 00:43:40,298
So what was I?
779
00:43:40,380 --> 00:43:41,938
I'm sorry, love.
780
00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:44,295
It's better we finish now.
781
00:43:44,380 --> 00:43:46,211
Cos he needs me
782
00:43:46,300 --> 00:43:48,575
and I have to go back.
783
00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:50,093
Always.
784
00:43:53,780 --> 00:43:58,217
I'll never forget you
but we're locked together, me and him.
785
00:43:58,300 --> 00:43:59,733
It's for life.
786
00:44:01,100 --> 00:44:02,055
Sorry.
787
00:44:02,140 --> 00:44:05,098
You used me
to get your fuckin' kicks?
788
00:44:07,180 --> 00:44:08,852
When you get married,
789
00:44:08,940 --> 00:44:10,498
you'll understand.
790
00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:12,536
Fuck that. Youse two deserve each other.
791
00:44:12,620 --> 00:44:15,817
No wonder your daughter's
a fucked up nut job.
792
00:44:18,780 --> 00:44:21,089
(Lillian) 'Hilda Ogden never cried
when Stan died.
793
00:44:21,180 --> 00:44:24,092
'Not until she got home,
found a pair of his glasses
794
00:44:24,180 --> 00:44:26,489
'on the sideboard. Set her right off.
795
00:44:29,060 --> 00:44:31,290
'I understood that when I got widowed.
796
00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:37,611
'All over the house,
little ghosts waiting to jump out.
797
00:44:37,700 --> 00:44:40,737
'They remind you of the things
you're not going to share.'
798
00:44:40,820 --> 00:44:42,492
Did he just try and shoot you?
799
00:44:42,580 --> 00:44:44,536
No.
800
00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:47,214
Showing off to his wife, apparently.
801
00:44:48,820 --> 00:44:51,015
So what's happened to you two?
802
00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:54,012
You split up already?
803
00:44:54,100 --> 00:44:55,010
Why?
804
00:44:55,100 --> 00:44:57,375
You don't wanna know.
805
00:44:57,460 --> 00:44:59,132
'When you're with someone,
806
00:44:59,220 --> 00:45:03,179
'there's a future, a present,
something to look forward to.
807
00:45:03,260 --> 00:45:05,535
'Then they've gone and there's nothing in front.
808
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:07,417
'It's all back.
809
00:45:07,500 --> 00:45:12,051
'Memories, regrets... and it never stops.'
810
00:45:12,140 --> 00:45:15,018
We had the same dad.
811
00:45:15,100 --> 00:45:16,135
We're brothers.
812
00:45:16,220 --> 00:45:18,814
Half brothers.
813
00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:20,970
Are we half brothers?
814
00:45:21,060 --> 00:45:23,972
Don't worry, you're safe. Dick!
815
00:45:24,740 --> 00:45:26,173
You muppet!
816
00:46:10,300 --> 00:46:11,699
Oi, look out!
817
00:46:11,749 --> 00:46:16,299
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