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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,572 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 2 00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:08,174 Come and watch pikeys making a mess 3 00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:11,855 of the lives they were given by 'im upstairs... 4 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,898 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:16,095 Wicked! 6 00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,499 Piss off! 7 00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:21,368 What sounds on Earth could ever replace 8 00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:24,497 kids needing money or wives in your face? 9 00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:26,935 Cos this, people reckon - me included - 10 00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:29,488 is why pubs and drugs 11 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,172 were kindly invented... 12 00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,774 To calm us all down and stop us going mental. 13 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:38,570 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 14 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:44,815 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes... 15 00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,379 You sit on our head, 16 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:49,133 but... you pay the taxes. 17 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,619 CHEERING 18 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,373 Imagine Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 19 00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:56,691 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer, eh? 20 00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,259 Eh! 21 00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:02,094 Make poverty history. Cheaper drugs now! 22 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:07,049 Make poverty history! Cheaper drugs now! 23 00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:08,459 CHUCKLES 24 00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:12,169 Scatter! Party! 25 00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:21,175 CHOKES 26 00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:22,818 (Frank) 'Still waiting for my moment. 27 00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:27,371 'Not that 15 minutes bollocks, you know, a real one. 28 00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:32,136 'And when my hour doth cometh, I am the man to filleth it. 29 00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:34,575 'All I want is to show the bastards. 30 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:36,332 'You know, proper like. 31 00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:38,695 'You know that Kipling twat? He nailed it.' 32 00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:40,691 Someone call an ambulance! 33 00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:43,294 He needs Heimlich Manoeuvre. 34 00:01:43,380 --> 00:01:46,577 Help him. Will someone give him a hand, for fuck's sake? 35 00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:49,891 'If all around lose their heads and you're... Blah, blah. 36 00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:53,973 'Look it up, I've set the scene. If you're not in any personal danger, 37 00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:57,097 'step in, mate. Save the day. 38 00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:59,489 'What's more, you'll be a man, my son.' 39 00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:01,571 (Shane) Calm down. Just stay there. 40 00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,332 Help him, for fuck's sake! 41 00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:05,729 'Yeah... 42 00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,458 'Massive.' 43 00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:11,457 - I've only got these. - Put 'em down. 44 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,489 Crawling all over my tits fresh out of prison. Irish twat. 45 00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:18,538 'Scuse me, could I trouble one of... 46 00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:19,735 Fuck off, Frank. 47 00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:22,698 More sensitive soul could take offence, you know. 48 00:02:22,780 --> 00:02:25,294 This is Paddy Smith. 49 00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:27,735 Aye, aye. No need to brick it. 50 00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:30,573 Shut your noise! This is the man who was put away 51 00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:32,616 for crushing bigger fish than us! 52 00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:35,897 Runs a firm 20 times bigger than ours, and I've infringed on his market 53 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:38,699 while he's been absent. There's cause for apprehension. 54 00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:40,418 Yeah, but he might let us keep it 55 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,569 if we give him a bung. 56 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:44,811 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He won't be doing me any favours. 57 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:46,333 Why not? 58 00:02:48,780 --> 00:02:52,739 Paddy Smith is Other Paddy. 59 00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:57,054 Your mother's first boyfriend. 60 00:02:57,140 --> 00:03:01,099 She dumped him for me. 61 00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:05,378 Jesus, Shane, and to think I could've had a wank instead of you. 62 00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:08,338 'I mean, what's wrong with wanting to be a hero? ' 63 00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:10,012 - Come on, Dad. - Stand back! 64 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,056 'Nowt.' Crash trolley! 65 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:23,694 COUGHS NOISILY 66 00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:28,088 Ow! 67 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:41,335 You saved my life. You fucking hero! 68 00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:45,458 Form is temporary. Class is permanent. 69 00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:48,577 I'm completely shit-faced. 70 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:54,290 Ah! Drinks all round! 71 00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:58,214 I mean, what kind of a mutant peanut is that? 72 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,336 It's a cashew. 73 00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:04,056 That's not a pub nut. 74 00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:05,653 Is this a wine bar? 75 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:08,652 Are we going metro-fucking-sexual here? 76 00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:15,452 - I was just trying something new. - Oh, something new with a cashew! 77 00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:20,694 Yeah, well, lucky it was your da', or you'd be the one choking now. 78 00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:24,455 Two in one night. Chatsworth's Oscar Schindler. 79 00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:27,976 We're brothers now, Frank. There's a blood debt. 80 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,972 You're gonna find out what Patrick Maguire's like 81 00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:33,494 when he's sincerely grateful. 82 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:38,090 Can I have 14 more drinks, please? 83 00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:40,091 LAUGHS 84 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,011 GLASS SMASHES 85 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,011 MUSIC: Brimful Of Asha by Cornershop 86 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,295 THEY SING ALONG DRUNKENLY 87 00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:51,415 Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow 88 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,649 Everybody needs... 89 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:06,013 What you doing? 90 00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,978 Sorry. 91 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:10,812 I forgot we'd changed beds. 92 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,496 I wasn't gonna bum ya! 93 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,213 I know you weren't. It's all right. 94 00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:28,256 I'm totally cool with the gay thing. 95 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,339 You what? 96 00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:32,614 I'm cool. 97 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:37,453 That's cool. I'm cool with you being cool. 98 00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:39,895 Piss off. 99 00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:41,732 (Carl) I'm telling you, he fancies you. 100 00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:44,573 How've we gone from no-one knowing or talking about it 101 00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:46,093 to everyone having an opinion? 102 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:50,651 Opinions are like bumholes, everyone's got one. They all stink. 103 00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:54,096 He were asking after ya. 104 00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:56,136 - Mr Scott? - Yeah, why wouldn't he? 105 00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:57,369 He lives with another teacher. 106 00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:59,132 Not any more. 107 00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:00,892 Above the greengrocer's on Tuttle Street. 108 00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:02,811 Virgil Kenyatta's dad owns it. 109 00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:06,575 Scotty moved out a week ago when his boyfriend chucked him. 110 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:09,777 And now he's asking after you. Hmm. What could this mean? 111 00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:12,174 He's just your type an' all. 112 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:13,818 A geography teacher? 113 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,174 (Debbie) Fit. Available. 114 00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:17,490 Knows all about oxbow lakes. 115 00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:21,016 Oh, a teacher? Didn't know you went for older women, Ian? 116 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,330 It's a bloke. 117 00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:25,695 Oh. Trying to turn you, is he? 118 00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:30,617 Hiya, Carl. You walking to school? 119 00:06:31,740 --> 00:06:32,968 Er... yeah. 120 00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:37,489 (Ian) Who's that? 121 00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:40,856 Sarah Berry. School dick magnet. 122 00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:44,329 So what you doing tonight, then? 123 00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:45,489 Come on Chesney. Hey! 124 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:48,014 Me mum wants you to do a few hours in the shop. 125 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:49,419 - When? - Now. 126 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:50,899 Can't one of youse do it? 127 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:51,969 She won't let us bunk off. 128 00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,255 Looks like we're only walking to the shop. 129 00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:55,853 You walkin' us an' all? 130 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:57,089 Get off, Meena. 131 00:06:57,180 --> 00:06:59,136 Don't mind me. 132 00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:05,333 Got mice. Little bastards. 133 00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:07,695 Are vegetarians allowed to say that? 134 00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:11,693 Anything that leaves a trail of piss behind it deserves to die, horribly. 135 00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,338 Get stuffed. 136 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:16,935 Well, I didn't mean you! Touchy... 137 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,171 Says he didn't wet the bed. He was putting out a fire. 138 00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:21,773 Look at the state, Deb. 139 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:26,092 I'm living in a shit-heap attached to a shit-hole. 140 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:29,138 Mooning over her bloody highness up there. 141 00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:32,257 What's she doing in my room? 142 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:33,455 She's after it. 143 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,893 Well, it is four times the size of hers. 144 00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:36,254 Bitch! 145 00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:40,379 She's not having it. She's only a squatter! Same as you. 146 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,371 Oh, well, thanks very much. 147 00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:46,851 Well, you are. Look at the state of this yard. It's full of crap. 148 00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,692 If you're staying, it's your space. 149 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:51,419 So get off your arse and do something about it. 150 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,013 Well, tell it like it is, why don't you? 151 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,056 You're such a moaner! 152 00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:58,098 Make a decision and put some effort in. 153 00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:10,494 Get that kettle on, Carl! 154 00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:11,933 (Boy) Shit! 155 00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:14,011 Got a throat like Thursday's bhaji here. 156 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,170 There's more teabags under the sink. 157 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:19,252 Don't use the ones in the shop. I don't drink counterfeit. 158 00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:23,978 Carl? 159 00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:25,732 Yeah? 160 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:30,054 - Phone the police. - And say what? 161 00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:31,414 Just phone the police! 162 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:37,535 He saved my life. 163 00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:40,692 Next time, try and get saved by someone who isn't 164 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:43,169 a human... fucking... compost... heap. 165 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:46,172 I'm proud to call that man friend. 166 00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:50,771 THEY LAUGH 167 00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:54,170 Might need some stock. I'm hitting the old folk's home. 168 00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:56,899 Got something on. How many bags are left? 169 00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:57,969 Five. 170 00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:00,096 Isn't that enough? 171 00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:04,173 Dunno. The oldies are mad for their weed. What are you doing? 172 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,613 Got a meet. Who with? 173 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:09,932 Someone from yesteryear. 25 yesteryears to be precise. 174 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,009 Who? 175 00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:13,775 Other Paddy. 176 00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:17,170 - Other Paddy? - Mmmm. 177 00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:18,852 My Other Paddy? 178 00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:21,295 (Yvonne) 'Are you gonna get stuck in? ' 179 00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:23,735 It'll take all of you to batter that door down. 180 00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:25,378 I don't know how he's in there. 181 00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:28,213 - The little wanker! - No need. Tom's had special training. 182 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:30,495 At the negotiation workshop, they said, "Talk first 183 00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:31,729 "and you won't have to act later." 184 00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:33,811 Rubbish! Oi! 185 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:36,368 - You had your hair cut? - Have I fuck! 186 00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:40,892 Every day they find a new way to rob us. 187 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,738 What are you lookin' at? 188 00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:48,618 Sorry. Just when you're angry, your eyes... 189 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:51,055 Sorry. 190 00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:52,698 Don't be weird, Stan. 191 00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:57,736 Tom here. 192 00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:58,855 Want to tell me your name? 193 00:09:58,940 --> 00:09:59,929 Fuck off. 194 00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:03,854 I'm from Ireland. I... I've got six brothers and sisters and... 195 00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:06,773 Ain't got time to bore him out. 196 00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:08,452 (Tom) What're you doing? 197 00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:10,859 Gas! 198 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,173 You're nicked. 199 00:10:14,260 --> 00:10:16,933 You're costing me more than the hoodie. 200 00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:19,659 Sorry about that. 201 00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:22,573 Tear gas, Lillian. No-one can go in. 202 00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:24,571 Oh, no, I like a good weep, me. 203 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:29,410 Search her when she leaves. 204 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:31,092 Why now? 205 00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:33,410 He'll have heard the word about you inside. 206 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,728 You've moved up a division. 207 00:10:34,820 --> 00:10:37,175 No. I'm famine potatoes to him. 208 00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:40,889 Could be getting nostalgic for the things he's lost. 209 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,809 Doesn't matter if he is. 210 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:47,130 I know I plumped for the perfect Paddy. 211 00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:49,176 The poorer Paddy. 212 00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:52,650 Look at this palace. Every dream - fulfilled. 213 00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:56,619 He's dodgy. You need me with you. 214 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:59,009 I can wrap him round this. You don't lose that. 215 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,738 Your man'll think I'm pussy-whipped. 216 00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:02,299 - Oh, come on, Dad. 217 00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:03,938 Meet him first. 218 00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:06,090 Then I'll bump into you in the pub. 219 00:11:06,180 --> 00:11:07,852 We're a team, you and me. 220 00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:10,295 I'm getting off, too. 221 00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:12,689 Picking up a car. Dad's bankrolled us. 222 00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:16,773 New business, executive transport. 223 00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:18,452 - Dad coughed up for that? 224 00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:20,974 Lent. 225 00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:29,529 You spanner. 226 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:32,373 Well, s'pose you can put me right, eh? 227 00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:47,738 Tia Maria and coke. 228 00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:51,971 And a pint for shitty drawers. 229 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:56,054 Couldn't stretch to a couple of Es, could you? 230 00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:59,177 Me fucking ribs... 231 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,253 You look nice, Mimi. 232 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,855 Assisting Paddy with a bit of business. 233 00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:27,770 Patrick Donal Maguire. 234 00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:30,328 It's good to see you, kid. 235 00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:32,411 - Long time... - Aye, Paddy. How's yourself? 236 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,617 Fine. Sure, a five-year stretch is bullshit. 237 00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:39,090 At our age we could do ten years without blinking. Am I right? 238 00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:43,895 Don't shite yourself, I'm not asking you to get sent down for me. 239 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,175 Come away! I'm ripe for a wee bit of entertainment. 240 00:12:46,260 --> 00:12:48,330 I'm guessing a drink would sit nicely. 241 00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:51,969 Ah, well, the bar's fully stocked. But what I've really missed 242 00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:54,255 is filthy women. 243 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,855 My balls are as heavy as avo-fucking-cados, Patrick! 244 00:12:57,940 --> 00:12:59,498 Huh? 245 00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:01,696 I know that look. 246 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,691 Have you laid one on for me? 247 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:06,010 Have you? Huh? 248 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:10,252 Patrick? Patrick, you have, haven't you, so? 249 00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,932 Huh? 250 00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:14,170 Come on away. 251 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:19,416 Two Guinness, son. 252 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,536 Oh, is this her? She would do me. 253 00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,178 She fucking wouldn't. 254 00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:28,896 Ah, Jesus! It's not that? A rhino in a joy-bag. 255 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:33,451 I don't want to get smothered by some great arse, for Christ's sake. 256 00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,652 Mimi? 257 00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:39,613 I'm so sorry. 258 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:42,931 It just came out all twisted. 259 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:45,614 I've been away a long... 260 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:50,490 Mimi, I said I'm sorry. 261 00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:53,053 Don't be like that! 262 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:07,452 That's a terrible mistake I just made there, kid. 263 00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:09,531 And I'm truly contrite. I am. 264 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:13,693 If I could take my words back, but... 265 00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:16,852 it is a good time to remind you, 266 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,818 my people always know who I'm seeing. 267 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,174 You think of Mimi. 268 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,410 The kiddies. 269 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,379 You put your pride in your pocket, big man. 270 00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:32,011 Very bad trouble is only a wee phone call away. 271 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,130 SOBS 272 00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:20,058 That... is executive transport? 273 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:26,613 Two minutes in business and you've already lost your one customer. 274 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,498 - Congratulations! - What? 275 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:32,617 I wanted something incon-fucking-spicuous. 276 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,897 Not a mobile poof's palace! 277 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,972 Fucking joke. 278 00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:46,094 I think it's cute, if it's any consolation. 279 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:52,330 Jesus, Mickey. I was just trying to be nice. You're so desperate. 280 00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:55,537 - I've got a date! - Oh, I take it all back. 281 00:15:56,820 --> 00:16:00,574 Sorry. I would've come in on it with you, but Paddy's rates are... 282 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,128 You'll go tits-up trying to pay him back. 283 00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:07,498 He's not a charity. He's got a... Where you off? 284 00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:08,535 School. 285 00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:11,453 - What for? - Checking out one of the teachers. 286 00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:13,849 Hot for cock. But who isn't? 287 00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:18,211 Well, I was gonna offer you a lift, but you can walk. 288 00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:21,337 It's a bit pink for me anyway. I'm not that out. 289 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,091 It's "fuss-chia"! 290 00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:34,449 It was a judgement call and I may - may - have erred in that judgement. 291 00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:37,577 But you have to remember who he is, the little piece of scum! 292 00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,458 I wanted to saw his ugly fucking head off! But I couldn't. 293 00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:53,488 I'm sorry. 294 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:54,808 I've let you down. 295 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:58,176 - What did he want? - Dunno yet. 296 00:16:58,260 --> 00:17:02,538 We didn't get round to it. I've got to meet him again later. 297 00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:05,088 Gave you time off to come after me. Very good of him. 298 00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:07,136 What do you think when you look at me? 299 00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:08,369 What? 300 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,575 What do you see? 301 00:17:12,340 --> 00:17:14,012 I see my fabulous wife. 302 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,499 The mother of my children. 303 00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:18,811 The woman who I love and adore more than the very world. 304 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:20,970 You don't notice I've kept me baby weight? 305 00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:23,449 I don't care about that. 306 00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:26,532 Prove it. Fuck me. Fuck me now. 307 00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:29,134 Christ, Mi. You know, this fucking hernia. I can't. 308 00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:32,974 - You haven't slipped me one for months. - Since I've had this. 309 00:17:33,060 --> 00:17:35,130 It's printed in your eyes! You've stopped fancying me! 310 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,654 - Never! - You're the same as him! 311 00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:39,492 Me and that twat! 312 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,059 Mimi! 313 00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:43,700 Every curve. Straight from the angels. 314 00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:46,533 I know what you think. What you see! 315 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:50,852 I do not! Would never, ever think of you as fat! 316 00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:53,579 What did you fucking say? 317 00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:56,936 I don't think of you as fat. 318 00:17:57,020 --> 00:18:02,890 I can't believe you used the fucking "F" word in my presence! 319 00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:05,016 Bumble? Easy there! 320 00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:06,931 Calm down! 321 00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,976 Why don't you kill me? 322 00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:11,096 It'd be easier to take! 323 00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:16,135 You homeless bastard! 324 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,856 Oh, fuck! What's up? 325 00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:34,535 Nowt. I hope. So what d'you reckon, then? 326 00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,497 Not exactly Alan Titwank, are you? 327 00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:39,617 Not used it for cutting wood before, have I? Takes practice. 328 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,294 It's a saw, you toss. What else is it for? 329 00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:45,611 If I told you that, Norma, I'd have to waste your arse. 330 00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:48,089 I'm not scared of you. I'm not scared of... 331 00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:50,569 A mouse! A mouse, a mouse! 332 00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:53,333 - A mouse! A mouse! A mouse! - You bastard! 333 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,700 - Why've you got the best bed? - I own it. 334 00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:06,010 I'll have the bed I want. 335 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:07,977 What's wrong with one of the flats? 336 00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:09,015 You wouldn't want your old man 337 00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:12,615 hanging around in one of them cruddy rat-holes, would you? 338 00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:14,809 I've got a date later. 339 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,936 Well, I won't try and join in. 340 00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:20,092 I can't! Not with the old... 341 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:25,848 It won't be long. Your ma's totally gone off her nut. 342 00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:27,896 It's a woman thing. Temporary. 343 00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:31,454 She'll keep a couple of days, won't she? 344 00:19:31,540 --> 00:19:32,734 Who? 345 00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:34,412 The slut! Your date? 346 00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:43,019 Not that one! 347 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,412 A present! 348 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:54,092 That'll spur her into sense. 349 00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:56,774 A special one. 350 00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:59,169 - Start the Twat-mobile, Twat-man. - We need petrol. 351 00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:00,659 Well, get some! 352 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:06,573 Oh, fucker! No, no, no, you should be careful with it. 353 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,935 You know I am a veg. Stop it! 354 00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:09,930 Me snake isn't. 355 00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:11,817 You've got a snake? 356 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,299 Python. 357 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:17,089 Oh. Oh, I used to have an iguana. 358 00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:20,490 - Yeah? - Yeah. 359 00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:22,696 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 360 00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:25,214 Forgive us? 361 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:41,257 I've never been right about food and all that shite. 362 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,819 It doesn't matter to Dad. 363 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:46,688 It does. Matters to everybody. Matters to me. 364 00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:49,374 You could lose weight if you really wanted to. 365 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:53,498 Weren't any fat people came out of concentration camps. 366 00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:55,775 No, they all looked like you. 367 00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:58,135 - Fuck off. - You fuck off. 368 00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:04,293 Sorry. 369 00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:06,530 Yeah. 370 00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:09,180 Sorry. 371 00:21:09,260 --> 00:21:11,820 - You think it's cos I've no willpower. - I never said that. 372 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:15,290 Food, looks, weight. Blight of my life. 373 00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:18,816 If you're an alcoholic, you stop drinking. You can't stop eating! 374 00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:21,289 It's always fucked me up! Always there! 375 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,133 And how many times have you heard me mention it to you? 376 00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:26,336 How many times have you heard me moan 377 00:21:26,420 --> 00:21:29,412 about my arse or my looks? Never! You've never heard it! 378 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:33,015 Because I was determined never to pass all that shit onto my daughter! 379 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:36,331 And I haven't. That's willpower! 380 00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:43,171 I knew it'd drive my Paddy away one day. 381 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,216 It hasn't. You told him to go. 382 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:47,894 I don't need a man who wants me outta habit. 383 00:21:47,980 --> 00:21:49,971 I need a man who fucking wants me. 384 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,373 He's stopped. 385 00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:55,654 He can't... 386 00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:58,891 I'm starvin'. Is there any of them double choccy chips left? 387 00:21:58,980 --> 00:22:03,735 All I've got left of my marriage is little Leslie here. 388 00:22:04,860 --> 00:22:07,533 - S'not really serious, is it? - (Gol) 389 00:22:07,620 --> 00:22:09,019 All right. 390 00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:12,773 I'll help, Mum. 391 00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:16,648 You can lose weight. 392 00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:21,939 I don't want to stop drinking or eating 393 00:22:22,020 --> 00:22:24,136 or do any exercise. 394 00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:28,892 Do a diary. 395 00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:32,256 Write down everything you eat. We'll see where we are. 396 00:22:33,860 --> 00:22:35,657 Starting the engine costs a tenner. 397 00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:37,696 I can't hire it out, cos I've got me dad's 398 00:22:37,780 --> 00:22:41,455 massive pants drying on the heater and his truss all over the back seat. 399 00:22:41,540 --> 00:22:45,249 Polishing the fucker's the only thing I can afford to do. Whoa. 400 00:22:45,340 --> 00:22:48,218 You knew it was gonna cost you. Why'd you buy it? 401 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:52,373 Somewhere to bring lads back, not that I can do that now. 402 00:22:52,460 --> 00:22:56,419 And a business. I'm sick of being the family chimp. 403 00:23:01,860 --> 00:23:04,932 I'm not gonna meet his first payment. 404 00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:06,817 Job going in the pub? 405 00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:08,049 - No chance. - There must be. 406 00:23:08,140 --> 00:23:12,213 I'm not having you feeling me up every time there's a quiet patch. 407 00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:14,814 - I wouldn't. - No, Mickey. No. 408 00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:21,135 How was sir? 409 00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:22,858 Keen as. 410 00:23:22,940 --> 00:23:24,851 You're joking? 411 00:23:24,940 --> 00:23:26,373 I'm seeing him tonight. 412 00:23:29,620 --> 00:23:30,769 It's a bit pink, in't it, mate?! 413 00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:32,498 It's not pink! 414 00:23:35,860 --> 00:23:38,579 All right, mate, how's it hangin'? 415 00:23:38,660 --> 00:23:41,049 Not good. Not good. 416 00:23:41,140 --> 00:23:43,734 She's holding this one against me. Really is. 417 00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:45,856 And I don't know how to live without her. 418 00:23:45,940 --> 00:23:48,374 Well, you could take my advice. 419 00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,372 Drink through it. 420 00:23:51,460 --> 00:23:54,338 You gettin' 'em in? 421 00:23:54,420 --> 00:23:56,650 Usual, Frank? 422 00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:58,890 Get us a chaser too. 423 00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:00,891 Good to see you. 424 00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:04,131 Cold Guinness, angel. 425 00:24:04,220 --> 00:24:07,895 So, let's chat and sort this business. 426 00:24:15,900 --> 00:24:19,813 You've splashed out on that, haven't you? Good job you're minted. 427 00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:22,175 I am compared to someone who's got fuck-all. 428 00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:27,816 Well, I know you're all right, cos sure you've been dealing off 429 00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:31,575 my best patches while I've been rotting away inside. 430 00:24:31,660 --> 00:24:34,857 Only an idiot could lose money on them ones. 431 00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:38,057 And you're not an idiot, are you, Paddy? 432 00:24:40,220 --> 00:24:42,529 Are you an idiot? 433 00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:48,251 I'm only joking you. If I wanted to post some lead up your arse, 434 00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:50,774 you'd be snuggling your colon by now. 435 00:24:55,140 --> 00:24:58,337 What, fuck's sake! What? 436 00:24:58,420 --> 00:24:59,853 It's not still Mimi, is it? 437 00:24:59,940 --> 00:25:00,895 Sure, that's all sorted out! 438 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:06,971 Let's not fall out over a few pounds, eh? 439 00:25:08,140 --> 00:25:12,019 Specially not the ones on your... your old lady's arse. 440 00:25:12,980 --> 00:25:14,971 Fucking little fuck! 441 00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:19,019 Yeah, that's fucking smart, that. Very fucking intelligent, 442 00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:21,898 you small-time fuck. 443 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:25,859 When you want to die? When! Go home or when I don't go home? 444 00:25:25,940 --> 00:25:28,135 Your choice. 445 00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:31,008 Oh, this your diary? 446 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:35,129 That's all right. Biscuits? 447 00:25:38,740 --> 00:25:40,219 We need a professional. 448 00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:44,612 No. I've tried everything. I'm beyond help. 449 00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:46,292 Hypnosis. 450 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:49,099 It's not working. It's not. 451 00:25:49,180 --> 00:25:51,774 Kept waking up with marshmallows in me hair. 452 00:25:51,860 --> 00:25:55,250 Turned me into an unconscious sleep-eater. Tried exercise. 453 00:25:55,340 --> 00:25:57,649 ...ln time 454 00:25:57,740 --> 00:26:01,858 Only takes a moment to feel all right 455 00:26:01,940 --> 00:26:05,216 Get fresh at the weekend... 456 00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,768 Gave me a raging appetite. I put weight on. 457 00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:12,536 Only time I lost weight was in prison. Nothing else works. 458 00:26:12,620 --> 00:26:13,894 I can help. 459 00:26:13,980 --> 00:26:15,936 No, you can't. 460 00:26:16,020 --> 00:26:18,454 I'll never be thin. 461 00:26:18,540 --> 00:26:22,419 Never be... desirable again. 462 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:24,252 Got to face what I am. 463 00:26:24,340 --> 00:26:26,979 I'm a bulimic who can't stand vomit. 464 00:26:27,060 --> 00:26:28,573 We can try. 465 00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:31,049 No, Mandy, love. 466 00:26:31,140 --> 00:26:32,937 I am fat. 467 00:26:33,020 --> 00:26:35,488 I'm a fat fuck. 468 00:26:35,580 --> 00:26:39,129 I'm a fucking fat fucker. 469 00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:43,458 Where did these come from? 470 00:26:43,540 --> 00:26:45,815 Mandy's mum give 'em us. 471 00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:48,334 (Carl) You trying to show us up? 472 00:26:48,420 --> 00:26:49,375 Me? 473 00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:52,099 Bezz saw you at school. Sniffing round Scotty. 474 00:26:52,180 --> 00:26:54,011 He didn't see that. We were having a goss. 475 00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:55,374 I know what you were doing. 476 00:26:55,460 --> 00:26:57,052 I thought you were coo-ell with the gay thing? 477 00:26:57,140 --> 00:26:59,779 That's got nothing to do with this. It's school, Ian. I get taught by him. 478 00:26:59,860 --> 00:27:04,297 He were all over us. "Very good, Carl. Top of the class." 479 00:27:04,380 --> 00:27:06,018 I looked a right twat in front of Sarah. 480 00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:08,898 - Well, you tipped me off. - He's my teacher! 481 00:27:08,980 --> 00:27:11,540 So what? I'll see who I like. 482 00:27:11,620 --> 00:27:12,655 Debbie, love. 483 00:27:12,740 --> 00:27:14,776 Can I squeeze these into your cupboard? 484 00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:17,852 There's absolutely no space in that teensy room of ours. 485 00:27:17,940 --> 00:27:19,089 (Debbie) What? 486 00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:24,613 Leslie? Leslie? 487 00:27:24,700 --> 00:27:27,134 Leslie? Come to Mummy. 488 00:27:27,220 --> 00:27:29,575 I can't find her anywhere. 489 00:27:29,660 --> 00:27:31,651 Leslie. A he. 490 00:27:31,740 --> 00:27:35,050 Well, a leg of lamb's missing off the side as well. 491 00:27:35,140 --> 00:27:36,334 You didn't snaffle it, did you? 492 00:27:36,420 --> 00:27:38,092 You cheeky bastard! 493 00:27:38,180 --> 00:27:40,694 Leslie'll have had it. 494 00:27:40,780 --> 00:27:42,611 He'll be back when he's hungry. 495 00:27:42,700 --> 00:27:45,089 Don't throw me out. Don't! 496 00:27:45,180 --> 00:27:48,934 I've got something for you. Come with me. Come on. 497 00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:50,453 Mimi! 498 00:27:57,380 --> 00:28:00,099 - Oh! 499 00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:02,740 Oh! Nice one, Norma. 500 00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:08,097 Out again. 501 00:28:11,020 --> 00:28:14,376 Here you are. Come on. 502 00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:15,893 Din-dins, Butch! 503 00:28:19,860 --> 00:28:21,373 He won't take it. 504 00:28:21,460 --> 00:28:24,816 - Maybes he's not hungry? - He should be. Here, lift the bed up. 505 00:28:27,260 --> 00:28:29,330 Look at that. 506 00:28:29,420 --> 00:28:32,696 - It looks like he's... - What? 507 00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:35,369 It's the dog. 508 00:28:35,460 --> 00:28:38,770 It's me mum's dog. He's had it... 509 00:28:38,860 --> 00:28:40,930 Oh... 510 00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:44,808 Oh, don't go off on one. You don't know for sure. 511 00:28:49,540 --> 00:28:51,258 OK. Now you know for sure. 512 00:28:51,340 --> 00:28:53,695 I'm toast! I'm dead! 513 00:28:53,780 --> 00:28:56,931 I'm totally fucking dead! 514 00:29:13,940 --> 00:29:16,170 That's how much I love you. 515 00:29:16,260 --> 00:29:19,809 - What've you done? - He's for you. 516 00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:23,131 What do you want me to do with your gift? 517 00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:27,099 Are you losing your fucking mind as well as your touch? 518 00:29:27,180 --> 00:29:29,774 It's not about him. 519 00:29:29,860 --> 00:29:31,976 It's about you and me. It's about me. 520 00:29:34,180 --> 00:29:36,774 I can't believe you'd do something like that. 521 00:29:38,420 --> 00:29:40,331 What've you done, Paddy? 522 00:29:49,580 --> 00:29:51,536 Piss flaps! 523 00:29:51,620 --> 00:29:53,133 We are neck-high. 524 00:29:53,220 --> 00:29:54,699 We? Where's the "we" come from? 525 00:29:54,780 --> 00:29:57,010 It's nowt to do with me. 526 00:29:57,100 --> 00:29:58,818 I did help with your fence. 527 00:29:58,900 --> 00:30:00,572 Howay then! 528 00:30:00,660 --> 00:30:02,173 Okey-dokey, Einstein. 529 00:30:02,260 --> 00:30:03,693 Plan? 530 00:30:09,340 --> 00:30:11,456 Get another dog. Hope she doesn't notice. 531 00:30:11,540 --> 00:30:14,338 I mean, she's had it no time. They all look the same. 532 00:30:14,420 --> 00:30:18,208 - Do they? - Aye. They all look like Mimi. 533 00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:21,019 You should be more sympathetic. She's got body issues. 534 00:30:21,100 --> 00:30:23,898 Oh, who hasn't? She should get over herself. 535 00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:26,255 GIBBERS 536 00:30:26,340 --> 00:30:28,774 Pathetic. You're as bad as mum. 537 00:30:28,860 --> 00:30:31,249 I didn't mean that. 538 00:30:31,340 --> 00:30:34,252 What's going on, baby-cakes? 539 00:30:34,340 --> 00:30:37,173 It's the money you owe Dad. 540 00:30:37,260 --> 00:30:38,852 I can't say. 541 00:30:38,940 --> 00:30:40,692 How much interest is he charging? 542 00:30:40,780 --> 00:30:42,532 Let go... 543 00:30:42,620 --> 00:30:43,769 I can't tell. Argh! 544 00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:46,611 The usual rate! 545 00:30:48,260 --> 00:30:49,739 I can't afford it. 546 00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:54,456 He's gonna break me legs... 547 00:30:56,060 --> 00:30:57,493 ...again. 548 00:31:03,020 --> 00:31:04,453 Two more 'ere, Karen. 549 00:31:10,540 --> 00:31:13,008 Oh, still got the girl trouble? 550 00:31:14,980 --> 00:31:16,493 I'm lost. 551 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:21,577 Without her, I'm lost. 552 00:31:21,660 --> 00:31:25,494 I've done something stupid and there's no way out. 553 00:31:25,580 --> 00:31:28,219 Yeah, there's plenty more fish in the sea, you know, 554 00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:31,098 get straight back on the horse... All that jon-bobbins. 555 00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:34,490 You know, Frank, I've been thinking. 556 00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:37,617 What's worse than being owed something? 557 00:31:38,740 --> 00:31:41,971 - House fire? Cluster bomb? - Owing someone. 558 00:31:42,060 --> 00:31:44,528 See, I owe you 559 00:31:44,620 --> 00:31:47,930 and it's beginning to gnaw at me. Understand? 560 00:31:49,540 --> 00:31:50,859 Yeah. 561 00:31:50,940 --> 00:31:53,056 So I want to pay you in full. 562 00:31:53,140 --> 00:31:55,290 Discharge my debt. Back to quits. 563 00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:58,736 Would that be acceptable? If I asked nicely? 564 00:32:00,660 --> 00:32:03,777 Uh... Yeah, s'pose so. 565 00:32:03,860 --> 00:32:06,294 Good. 566 00:32:12,620 --> 00:32:14,929 Two mind. 567 00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:16,453 Not one. 568 00:32:21,820 --> 00:32:24,095 Couldn't lend us a score, could you? I'm down to bare bones... 569 00:32:24,180 --> 00:32:25,169 Shh! 570 00:32:33,380 --> 00:32:35,940 How're we gonna dig our way outta this? 571 00:32:37,660 --> 00:32:39,616 Easy. Just... 572 00:32:39,700 --> 00:32:42,851 He can't let you go. 573 00:32:42,940 --> 00:32:46,728 And he can't kill me or keep me here. 574 00:32:46,820 --> 00:32:51,018 No word of a lie, my people do know where I've gone. 575 00:32:53,580 --> 00:32:57,368 I am truly sorry for what I said... 576 00:32:58,780 --> 00:33:01,578 ...but if I don't turn up soon, then there's going to be some... 577 00:33:01,660 --> 00:33:04,413 sick violence. 578 00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:05,694 Really sick. 579 00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:12,179 Let me go, kid. 580 00:33:13,420 --> 00:33:16,173 Do it now and there'll be no comeback. 581 00:33:16,260 --> 00:33:19,809 No grudges, no hard feelings. Nothing. 582 00:33:19,900 --> 00:33:21,333 Guarantee? 583 00:33:21,420 --> 00:33:22,853 My word. 584 00:33:25,580 --> 00:33:26,535 That it? 585 00:33:29,380 --> 00:33:31,211 After what we had?! 586 00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:36,490 You know you can trust me. 587 00:33:39,180 --> 00:33:43,332 I've only ever had the highest regard for you. 588 00:33:45,780 --> 00:33:49,409 You were a desert island fuck for me. 589 00:33:51,460 --> 00:33:54,611 You were nearly my Paddy. 590 00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:59,137 Could've been you sat in front of the telly, scratching your balls 591 00:33:59,220 --> 00:34:01,495 and hating me for going to fat. 592 00:34:01,580 --> 00:34:04,048 It would not be like that. 593 00:34:05,980 --> 00:34:07,777 You'd love the inner me? 594 00:34:07,860 --> 00:34:09,578 Of course. 595 00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:13,655 Remember me? 596 00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:18,292 You know I am a man of honour. 597 00:34:18,380 --> 00:34:19,813 Don't you? 598 00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:25,290 Hardly given you a moment's thought, 599 00:34:25,380 --> 00:34:27,416 but I do remember you. 600 00:34:29,420 --> 00:34:31,854 I remember why I dumped you an' all. 601 00:34:31,940 --> 00:34:33,896 You're a lying arsehole. 602 00:34:33,980 --> 00:34:37,211 Ah, Mimi, 603 00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:40,610 you're a fat stupid bitch, so you are. 604 00:34:40,700 --> 00:34:43,851 That was your last chance to save your limp-dicked Paddy. 605 00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:47,649 Won't be getting a hard-on with his blood all over the fucking pavement! 606 00:34:47,740 --> 00:34:48,809 MUFFLED CRIES 607 00:34:52,660 --> 00:34:57,290 MUFFLED CRIES 608 00:34:57,380 --> 00:34:59,177 (Muffled) See you later. 609 00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:05,455 THUD! 610 00:35:08,020 --> 00:35:08,975 What're you doing? 611 00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:16,488 - Falling over. - What time is it? 612 00:35:16,580 --> 00:35:20,016 Where've you been? 613 00:35:20,100 --> 00:35:22,216 You've seen him, haven't you? 614 00:35:23,780 --> 00:35:24,769 None of yours. 615 00:35:24,860 --> 00:35:28,216 I asked you not to. You've gone and shagged him, haven't you? 616 00:35:28,300 --> 00:35:29,528 You didn't ask me anything. 617 00:35:29,620 --> 00:35:31,770 You're a selfish wanker. 618 00:35:31,860 --> 00:35:33,578 Oh, cock off, pig tits. 619 00:35:33,660 --> 00:35:35,537 - What're you talking about? - (Both) Put that out! 620 00:35:35,620 --> 00:35:39,693 What've I told you? No more fires! 621 00:35:41,460 --> 00:35:43,178 Carl? 622 00:35:46,460 --> 00:35:47,893 BARKING 623 00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:49,971 It's exactly the same. 624 00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:52,290 Apart from personality. The vicious little twat. 625 00:35:52,380 --> 00:35:55,338 (Norma) Shall we leave it in the yard for her to find? 626 00:35:55,420 --> 00:35:59,891 Yeah. Just got to put this on, pierce its ear and we're done. 627 00:35:59,980 --> 00:36:01,095 Pierce its ear? 628 00:36:01,180 --> 00:36:02,613 Yeah! She put an earring in. 629 00:36:04,660 --> 00:36:06,890 Which is gay side? 630 00:36:06,980 --> 00:36:07,935 Gay side? 631 00:36:08,020 --> 00:36:10,614 Yeah, she won't want a gay dog, will she? 632 00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:12,930 What's gayer than a fucking air dog? 633 00:36:14,460 --> 00:36:15,734 HE SCREAMS 634 00:36:15,820 --> 00:36:17,412 Perfect! 635 00:36:19,980 --> 00:36:21,572 ...I like you too. 636 00:36:21,660 --> 00:36:24,493 - Do you want a brew? - Stop nosing about, Debs. 637 00:36:24,580 --> 00:36:26,457 I'm not. I'm making one. 638 00:36:26,540 --> 00:36:27,734 I'm all right, ta. 639 00:36:27,820 --> 00:36:29,378 Mr Scott? 640 00:36:29,460 --> 00:36:31,815 You all right, sir? 641 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:34,494 Didn't know you two were a couple. 642 00:36:34,580 --> 00:36:35,854 What're you doing? 643 00:36:35,940 --> 00:36:37,339 You left this. 644 00:36:37,420 --> 00:36:38,455 It's not mine. 645 00:36:38,540 --> 00:36:40,053 Isn't it? 646 00:36:40,140 --> 00:36:41,971 Oh, no. 647 00:36:42,060 --> 00:36:43,334 Now it looks like I've come up with 648 00:36:43,420 --> 00:36:45,251 an obviously transparent excuse just to see you, doesn't it? 649 00:36:46,380 --> 00:36:48,371 I wouldn't leave your car out there. 650 00:36:48,460 --> 00:36:51,258 (Mr Scott) Half a mo'. I've got your homework. 651 00:36:52,540 --> 00:36:56,533 That... was relatively inventive, Carl. 652 00:36:56,620 --> 00:36:59,771 And you should try copying Carl, Sarah. 653 00:36:59,860 --> 00:37:02,055 Instead of Dave Martin's hopeless effort, 654 00:37:02,140 --> 00:37:05,291 which is the highway to a C minus. 655 00:37:05,380 --> 00:37:06,574 I'd better be going. 656 00:37:06,660 --> 00:37:08,378 - What now? - Yeah. 657 00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:11,453 - I'll call you. - Whatever. 658 00:37:13,220 --> 00:37:15,211 Oh, piss! 659 00:37:16,340 --> 00:37:17,932 You got the right sex, didn't you? 660 00:37:18,020 --> 00:37:19,453 It was a dog, not a bitch? 661 00:37:22,820 --> 00:37:24,890 Leslie! 662 00:37:24,980 --> 00:37:26,459 Look what I found. 663 00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:31,499 Oh, hello, gorgeous. 664 00:37:31,580 --> 00:37:32,615 Where's his tattoo? 665 00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:39,259 Oh, for fuck's sake. How we supposed to fucking know that? 666 00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:40,614 What was it? 667 00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:43,854 Who did it? 668 00:37:43,940 --> 00:37:45,089 Inky Bob. 669 00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:46,215 Inky Bob? 670 00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:47,938 You know, the one with the... 671 00:37:49,140 --> 00:37:52,337 Well, that explains it. Doesn't use proper ink. 672 00:37:52,420 --> 00:37:54,012 Look at that. 673 00:37:54,100 --> 00:37:55,328 There's nowt there. 674 00:37:55,420 --> 00:37:57,980 Exactly. Guess who did mine? 675 00:37:58,060 --> 00:38:00,415 Inky fucking Bob. 676 00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:05,494 That fucking... That fucking Inky Bob! Please tell me you didn't go to see him! 677 00:38:05,580 --> 00:38:08,378 Totally faded. Fraud! 678 00:38:10,300 --> 00:38:12,131 (Mimi) Is everyone a bastard? 679 00:38:12,220 --> 00:38:13,972 DOOR SLAMS 680 00:38:14,060 --> 00:38:15,732 (Patrick) You're wasting your time. 681 00:38:15,820 --> 00:38:17,970 Bank won't give him the steam off its piss. 682 00:38:18,060 --> 00:38:19,812 Never mind a three grand loan. 683 00:38:19,900 --> 00:38:21,413 Will if I'm with him. 684 00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:23,092 Making sure he gives his real name. 685 00:38:23,180 --> 00:38:26,456 Are we setting off? Or can we kill the engine? 686 00:38:26,540 --> 00:38:28,132 Petrol and that... 687 00:38:28,220 --> 00:38:29,414 Are we going anywhere? 688 00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:33,129 I'm not helping you with mum if you don't do this for Mickey. 689 00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:39,617 Turn the engine off. Come back here. 690 00:38:39,700 --> 00:38:42,339 You really push it with this heir apparent bollocks. 691 00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:47,692 DOOR HANDLE CLUNKS 692 00:38:47,780 --> 00:38:49,975 What sort of a fucking car?! 693 00:38:56,180 --> 00:38:59,889 Well, done, setting up the business, son. I'm proud of you. 694 00:38:59,980 --> 00:39:02,778 I'm cancelling the loan. 695 00:39:02,860 --> 00:39:04,054 It's a gift. 696 00:39:08,260 --> 00:39:09,693 Oh, Dad. 697 00:39:12,180 --> 00:39:16,890 I'll speak to her. It's all in her head. We hate you being apart. 698 00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:18,208 Hate you being in here, too. 699 00:39:19,220 --> 00:39:21,893 But that's not the main reason. 700 00:39:25,020 --> 00:39:27,295 Is it Dad's fault you got bigger? 701 00:39:27,380 --> 00:39:28,449 Has he been cramming the pies in? 702 00:39:28,540 --> 00:39:31,259 No. He's never even mentioned your weight. 703 00:39:31,340 --> 00:39:33,490 You've chucked him out cos some other bloke said it. 704 00:39:33,580 --> 00:39:36,697 All he wants is to be back with you. I've seen him. 705 00:39:36,780 --> 00:39:38,259 He may as well have his arms off. 706 00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:40,490 He's better off without me. 707 00:39:40,580 --> 00:39:42,730 Oh, don't whine. 708 00:39:42,820 --> 00:39:48,053 I live with this every day. This layer of lard has ruined my life. 709 00:39:48,140 --> 00:39:51,496 And now it's ruining Paddy's, too. He's in a mess cos of me... 710 00:39:51,580 --> 00:39:53,889 and my weight. 711 00:39:53,980 --> 00:39:57,017 - I can fix it. - Gonna have him back? 712 00:39:58,380 --> 00:40:00,496 I'm going to fix it. 713 00:40:08,620 --> 00:40:10,690 What're you doing? 714 00:40:10,780 --> 00:40:12,418 Looking for something. 715 00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:15,412 For Leslie to chew. 716 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,377 I've things I need to do. I might be going away. 717 00:40:17,460 --> 00:40:20,020 I've messed up, but I've found a way out for your dad. 718 00:40:20,100 --> 00:40:23,649 For everybody for the best. 719 00:40:23,740 --> 00:40:26,015 Look after him. For me. 720 00:40:26,100 --> 00:40:28,056 He was your dad's last present. 721 00:40:28,140 --> 00:40:30,654 Mum? Mum, where're you going? 722 00:40:32,260 --> 00:40:35,730 Dad, Dad! You got to go find Mum. 723 00:40:35,820 --> 00:40:38,095 - Why? - She's just acting weird. 724 00:40:38,180 --> 00:40:40,933 - The gun's gone missing. - Which gun? 725 00:40:41,020 --> 00:40:45,411 The one in t'wardrobe. You don't think she's gonna? 726 00:40:46,540 --> 00:40:48,178 She'd never do that. 727 00:40:49,380 --> 00:40:52,258 Shit! 728 00:40:52,340 --> 00:40:54,092 It's not that bad. 729 00:40:54,180 --> 00:40:58,219 He's just been chucked. He's gonna get the piss ripped out of him. 730 00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:00,894 You've been an arsehole, Ian. It is that bad. 731 00:41:00,980 --> 00:41:02,732 You told me someone fancied me. 732 00:41:02,820 --> 00:41:08,816 I followed it up. Hey, if I told you, I don't know, Gaby Patterson fancied you, 733 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:10,379 you'd be straight round. 734 00:41:10,460 --> 00:41:13,611 She's not a fucking teacher! It's not cos you're gay, Ian, 735 00:41:13,700 --> 00:41:16,055 it's cos it's weird. It'd be the same if Debbie went out with him. 736 00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,415 No. That'd be worse. 737 00:41:18,500 --> 00:41:20,570 Debbie, I've just been in your room 738 00:41:20,660 --> 00:41:23,049 and I couldn't help but noticing your bed. 739 00:41:23,140 --> 00:41:26,098 You think you're getting my room? Just try it. 740 00:41:26,180 --> 00:41:28,569 Cos your first night will be your last! 741 00:41:28,660 --> 00:41:31,299 I'll slit your throat! You're never sleeping in my room! 742 00:41:31,380 --> 00:41:36,329 Never! Cos it's my room! And you can't have it! 743 00:41:36,420 --> 00:41:39,014 I couldn't help noticing your bed was broken. 744 00:41:39,100 --> 00:41:41,819 So I had thought we could get you a new one out the catalogue. 745 00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:46,416 - I've already ordered you new curtains. - So you don't want my room? 746 00:41:46,500 --> 00:41:48,297 No. 747 00:41:48,380 --> 00:41:52,851 Oh, OK, then, I'll have a new bed. Ta. 748 00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:10,570 There is a way out of it. 749 00:42:10,660 --> 00:42:12,730 And it solves all our problems. 750 00:42:12,820 --> 00:42:15,971 Fat bitch shoots you. 751 00:42:16,060 --> 00:42:17,618 I hold me hands up. 752 00:42:17,700 --> 00:42:22,330 A crime of passion. You screwed me over years back 753 00:42:22,420 --> 00:42:24,297 and I've never got over it. 754 00:42:24,380 --> 00:42:27,099 Paddy isn't to blame, 755 00:42:27,180 --> 00:42:29,330 he gets to move on, 756 00:42:29,420 --> 00:42:32,617 without the hindrance of a wife he no longer wants. 757 00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:36,295 Not many wives would do that for their husbands. 758 00:42:36,380 --> 00:42:38,974 Always said I was one in a million, didn't I? 759 00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:40,971 Put that down! 760 00:42:41,060 --> 00:42:43,972 Put... that... down! 761 00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:49,136 You trying to get me off the hook, are you? 762 00:42:49,220 --> 00:42:55,170 Shoot him and I'm an accessory. We both go down. What's the plan now? 763 00:42:57,900 --> 00:42:59,697 CRIES 764 00:42:59,780 --> 00:43:01,816 How did this happen? 765 00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:07,814 It's totally fucking obvious I love you. 766 00:43:07,900 --> 00:43:12,291 - I don't want to be just friends. - Neither do I. 767 00:43:12,380 --> 00:43:14,848 You're not seeing me! 768 00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:19,650 Look at me! How could you fancy me?! 769 00:43:19,740 --> 00:43:22,334 So you're carrying a bit of weight. 770 00:43:22,420 --> 00:43:24,172 Fuck, bollocks to that. 771 00:43:24,260 --> 00:43:26,694 I don't care! 772 00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:33,653 I do fancy you. 773 00:43:37,100 --> 00:43:38,613 Fuck this. 774 00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:41,214 Look what he's done to us. He's got to choke. 775 00:43:41,300 --> 00:43:46,090 - No. They'll kill you. I'll do it. - And what will I do without you, huh? 776 00:43:48,460 --> 00:43:52,931 - You're my foundation. - I'm doing it for you. 777 00:43:53,020 --> 00:43:54,612 I'm doing it for you. 778 00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:57,692 MUMBLES 779 00:44:00,620 --> 00:44:04,169 - Don't let this madness ruin everything. - I'm sorry. 780 00:44:04,260 --> 00:44:07,297 Christ, Mi-mo, me too. 781 00:44:07,380 --> 00:44:09,371 Come home. 782 00:44:21,660 --> 00:44:24,220 That the gun from the wardrobe? 783 00:44:24,300 --> 00:44:26,370 - Yeah. - It's hot. 784 00:44:43,020 --> 00:44:45,454 Pull the trigger and we're all going home. 785 00:44:45,540 --> 00:44:49,897 - You're framing me? - Our protection. 786 00:44:49,980 --> 00:44:52,414 We're in shite if we kill you and shite if we don't. 787 00:44:58,060 --> 00:45:02,975 Security guard had his ear whacked off with that. Recent, too. 788 00:45:03,060 --> 00:45:05,255 After you got out. 789 00:45:05,340 --> 00:45:08,696 They'd be made up to find your prints on it. 790 00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:13,894 Should be good for ten with your record. Not that you'd blink. 791 00:45:13,980 --> 00:45:18,053 By the way, what did you want to see me about? 792 00:45:19,860 --> 00:45:21,373 I'm retiring. 793 00:45:21,460 --> 00:45:23,735 Off to Cyprus. 794 00:45:23,820 --> 00:45:28,177 Wanted to sell you one of my patches to go with the ones you've stole. 795 00:45:29,300 --> 00:45:31,814 Think I'll ask somebody else. 796 00:45:39,780 --> 00:45:41,008 All done. 797 00:45:41,100 --> 00:45:43,455 And no-one got hurt. 798 00:45:49,020 --> 00:45:51,773 Home. 799 00:46:00,420 --> 00:46:02,695 I'm sorry. 800 00:46:02,780 --> 00:46:05,010 That were totally fucking... 801 00:46:05,100 --> 00:46:07,170 I'm sorry! 802 00:46:14,140 --> 00:46:16,096 I didn't like being told what to do by you. 803 00:46:18,580 --> 00:46:20,855 I'm a dickhead. Will that do? 804 00:46:20,940 --> 00:46:22,612 Don't go overboard. 805 00:46:23,540 --> 00:46:25,178 Am I forgiven? 806 00:46:25,260 --> 00:46:26,329 You did tip me off about Gaby Patterson. 807 00:46:26,420 --> 00:46:28,217 How funny! 808 00:46:29,700 --> 00:46:31,258 What? 809 00:46:31,340 --> 00:46:32,693 You told me she fancied me. 810 00:46:32,780 --> 00:46:34,259 No. I used her as an example. 811 00:46:35,420 --> 00:46:36,853 No way! 812 00:46:38,980 --> 00:46:39,935 She let me feel her tits. 813 00:46:40,020 --> 00:46:42,488 - Nah! - Straight off. 814 00:46:42,580 --> 00:46:44,855 - So did Mr Scott. - Did he?! 815 00:46:45,700 --> 00:46:50,091 - Think she'll wank me off next week. - Mr Scott would definitely wank me off. 816 00:46:52,620 --> 00:46:54,736 You'd better get it out. He's here now. 817 00:46:54,820 --> 00:46:56,538 Quick. Hide! 818 00:46:58,780 --> 00:47:00,008 I thought you liked him. 819 00:47:00,100 --> 00:47:04,457 What? Course not. He's a teacher! And he's hairier than a gibbon. 820 00:47:04,540 --> 00:47:06,531 (Carl) A gibbon! 821 00:47:13,540 --> 00:47:16,737 The first time 822 00:47:16,820 --> 00:47:21,689 Ever I saw your face 823 00:47:21,780 --> 00:47:24,977 I thought the sun 824 00:47:25,060 --> 00:47:29,815 Rose in my eyes. 825 00:47:31,860 --> 00:47:33,930 Don't. 826 00:47:35,260 --> 00:47:37,694 Just do me. 827 00:47:37,780 --> 00:47:39,896 Properly. 828 00:47:43,420 --> 00:47:45,376 Lead the way! 829 00:47:45,460 --> 00:47:47,530 THEY LAUGH 830 00:47:53,460 --> 00:47:57,135 (Frank) 'I'll tell you what's really fucking heroic. 831 00:47:57,220 --> 00:48:00,257 'Waking up in the morning, putting one foot in front of the other, 832 00:48:00,340 --> 00:48:05,130 'looking at the wife and kids and not topping yourself.' 833 00:48:05,220 --> 00:48:09,054 Oh, my fucking hernia! 834 00:48:49,980 --> 00:48:52,369 Yeah! You're the first person I've had back here. 835 00:48:52,460 --> 00:48:56,453 In fact, I've been a bit short recently. I'm desperate for a shag. 836 00:48:56,540 --> 00:48:58,292 Yeah? 837 00:49:03,020 --> 00:49:05,818 Well, why don't we make something of it, then? 838 00:49:10,940 --> 00:49:13,454 Haven't you got homework to mark? 839 00:49:13,540 --> 00:49:16,100 School day tomorrow, innit? 840 00:49:17,220 --> 00:49:19,290 Long holidays to plan? 841 00:49:23,140 --> 00:49:25,210 Go on, get it down you! 842 00:49:28,060 --> 00:49:30,016 WHOOPING 843 00:49:30,066 --> 00:49:34,616 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 60217

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