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1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:05,579
Now, nobody's saying the Chatsworth
Estate is the Garden of Eden.
2
00:00:05,580 --> 00:00:09,019
But it's been a good home to us,
to me, Frank Gallagher,
3
00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:11,339
and me kids, who I'm proud of.
4
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:15,339
Cos every single one of them
reminds me a little of me.
5
00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:19,779
They can all think for themselves,
which they've got me to thank for.
6
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:21,499
Quick, leg it!
7
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,899
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite,
which is why
8
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:26,539
nobody calls him Philip anymore.
9
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:29,219
Ian, a lot like his mam,
which is handy,
10
00:00:29,220 --> 00:00:31,419
cos she's disappeared into thin air.
11
00:00:31,420 --> 00:00:35,419
And Carl. We daren't let him
grow his hair for two reasons.
12
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:39,619
One, it stands on end and makes him
look like Toyah. Two, nits love it.
13
00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:44,659
Debbie, sent by God, total angel.
You have to check your change
14
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:48,739
but she'll go miles out of her way
to do you a favour.
15
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:52,059
Plus lickle Liam.
He's going to be a star some day.
16
00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:53,499
Wicked!
17
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,739
Sheila, me bird.
Couldn't be happier.
18
00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:59,059
One plate short of a full set, like.
19
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,659
Carol and Marty,
the lodgers from hell.
20
00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:05,019
Last of the lonely hearts
and a psychologist's wet dream.
21
00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:07,259
Still, nobody's perfect.
22
00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:10,179
But all of them to a man know
first and foremost
23
00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:13,299
one of the most vital necessities
in life.
24
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:17,299
They know how to throw a party!
Scatter!
25
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:19,899
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:23,579
'Some days, you're on to a loser
before you've had your first fart.
27
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:27,579
'Others, the gods are smiling and
there's nothing you can't sort out.
28
00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:31,659
'I mean, yeah, there's the Es
in the cornflakes might help a bit
29
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:34,259
'but why shouldn't people
rub along together?
30
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,659
'Doesn't have to be a drama,
does it?'
31
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:38,979
Sorry, just finishing off.
32
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:41,379
'I mean, look at Diana,
Charles and Camilla.
33
00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:45,379
'It worked out OK for them,
didn't it?'
34
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,419
Come here, you.
35
00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:53,419
Come here.
Give us a kiss.
36
00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:05,139
All right, Frank? You miss me?
37
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:07,219
Couldn't find the
child benefit book.
38
00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:08,739
Shall we go to the pub?
39
00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:11,019
Yeah? All right.
40
00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:15,019
Come on, come on.
41
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,739
They're all so grown up now.
42
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,659
Hardly recognised 'em.
43
00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:45,539
Yeah, well, it's been hard for me.
44
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:49,059
Responsibility
for all of them on my own.
45
00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:50,419
It's kind of weighed heavily.
46
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,419
Yeah, but I'm back now, Frank.
47
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:56,419
To lighten your load.
48
00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:01,539
Monica!
49
00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:05,539
Sheila.
50
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:33,059
You all right, Sheila?
You remember Monica, don't you?
51
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:37,059
She's come... you know,
she's come to see the kids.
52
00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:41,939
Yes.
You told me, Frank.
53
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,939
Brought your cigarettes.
Would you like a drink?
54
00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:48,139
Yeah, another vodka tonic, thanks.
55
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,379
Oh, yeah, right, course I did.
56
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:53,539
Cos you asked me that
about when she... and I said...
57
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:55,539
Yeah, of course, yeah.
58
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:58,339
That'll be two vodka tonics, please.
59
00:03:58,340 --> 00:04:00,859
Fancy that.
Same poison.
60
00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:04,859
And I'll just have
a couple of Es, Jess.
61
00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:12,019
Do any of yous lot
know how this works?
62
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,779
That's disgusting.
63
00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:14,859
What is it?
64
00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:17,859
It's a balloon pump.
65
00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:21,219
Sorry, have we not met?
I'm your neighbour.
66
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:25,219
I want some help blowing these up.
It isn't a fucking request.
67
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:31,219
You wouldn't be our neighbour,
68
00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,459
if you hadn't stolen my daughter's
house.
69
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:35,979
Like you give a shit.
Nearly pulled a muscle
70
00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:38,059
scavenging gear
for your own back.
71
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,259
I'm keeping it for her.
72
00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:42,379
Oh, yeah, and I'm the Queen of Sheba.
73
00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,819
You two better get a rocket up your
arse. Got to be there for one.
74
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,299
I didn't know I was coming.
75
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,139
You're family, aren't you?
76
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:51,739
Even if you do think
you're better than us.
77
00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:54,179
Our Jamie'll soon sort you out.
78
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:59,419
Spliff.
79
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:11,539
Oi, fuck off, you little wankers!
80
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:26,179
What are you looking at, you perv?
81
00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:41,979
Sign there, love.
82
00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:43,539
Ta. See you in a couple of days.
83
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:47,539
Yeah.
84
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:54,179
I need to go!
85
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:55,379
It's not my problem, Norma.
86
00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:58,339
You can't do this! There's such
a thing as human rights.
87
00:05:58,340 --> 00:06:01,139
I'm entitled to a toilet.
Where's Mon? She'll let us.
88
00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:02,139
Gone out.
89
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:05,979
Which is exactly what you should
be doing, Norma. Going home.
90
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:09,019
Unless you want to pay rent
for sleeping in the Dormobile.
91
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:13,019
Where's she gone?
She's never up before 11.
92
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:17,139
Look, Debbie,
I'm gonna piss myself.
93
00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:23,299
Look at you.
94
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,979
Makes a mother so proud.
95
00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:29,019
You look like a stiff in a body bag.
96
00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:32,659
Straighten your face or our Jamie
will put you in a fucking body bag!
97
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:36,139
Pack it in, you two. Micky,
reminds me of your first communion.
98
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:39,019
Right, when he comes out,
don't overcrowd him, OK?
99
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:41,739
What did you make us all
fucking come for, then?!
100
00:06:41,740 --> 00:06:44,179
Oi, watch your mouth,
fucking gobshite!
101
00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:47,859
So he knows we appreciate him.
And what he's done for us.
102
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:50,019
And how much we love him.
103
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,779
Where is he, then?
I haven't fed my snake yet.
104
00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:52,579
Jesus!
105
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:56,579
Can't we just ask somebody?
106
00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:02,779
So, you just left her, then.
107
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:06,779
Look, I won't say I was wrong to
leave my kids but I had my reasons.
108
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:12,499
But I'm back now and Norma
isn't part of that, end of story.
109
00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:16,059
How's she taking it?
110
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:20,059
You have to learn to accept change,
don't you, whenever it comes.
111
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,659
Right.
112
00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:25,099
It's your round, Monica, isn't it?
113
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:29,099
What am I like?
Same again?
114
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,259
It's bound to happen, innit?
115
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:47,259
Norma's not exactly... is she?
116
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:54,899
Can't... say I blame her.
117
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,299
It's good,
118
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,819
you know, for the kids though.
119
00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:04,819
Got their mother back.
120
00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:11,139
So when... did I tell you?
121
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:13,899
You tell me, Frank.
122
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:15,219
What?
123
00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:16,899
You must have told me some time,
124
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,459
mustn't you,
cos why would you have not?
125
00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:20,699
Yeah, right.
126
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:21,979
Well, yeah.
127
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:25,659
I was just saying to Frank,
it'll be so lovely to have you back.
128
00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:27,459
Another pair of hands around.
129
00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:29,979
Oh, that's a lovely ring, Sheila.
Is it QVC?
130
00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:33,299
Yeah, well,
should probably go, Sheila.
131
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,539
Got stuff to do, food shopping.
132
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:38,139
No thanks. I'd rather stay here for
another drink. Wouldn't you, Monica?
133
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:41,179
Oh, yes, I'm very happy.
134
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:42,979
Right.
135
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,259
Must say, you have cleaned up
his act
136
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:48,899
if he's willing to leave the pub
before closing time.
137
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,499
Different man, aren't you, Frank?
138
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:54,339
Mm.
139
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,699
Mmm.
140
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,659
Oh, another one down.
141
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:02,339
I do admire your restraint, Sheila.
142
00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:06,339
Right.
143
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,019
You let him out, you bastards!
144
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,099
You tell 'em, Ma.
145
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:12,139
You let my Jamie out or
I'll have the lot of yous!
146
00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:15,019
They let him out two hours ago.
147
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:15,699
For fuck's sake!
148
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,219
This is your fault, Shane.
149
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:22,219
You fucking wanker.
150
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:35,859
All I'm saying is,
151
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:39,859
a home-made mayonnaise
can make up egg or prawn.
152
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:44,779
All it takes is
153
00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:47,139
eight minutes' patience
154
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:50,179
but no-one tries any more.
155
00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:51,619
They just don't.
156
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:53,779
Mum, maybe we should...
157
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:57,779
Good timing. Another round ready.
158
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,899
4.80.
159
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,459
Knocking 'em back, aren't you?
160
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:06,779
Just getting to know Sheila.
161
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:10,499
Keep the change.
162
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,539
It's wrong,
163
00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:14,219
it's so wrong!
164
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:27,059
Thank you. Thank you so much.
165
00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:32,779
Right. Erm, just... slash...
166
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,979
Pastries...
167
00:10:35,980 --> 00:10:39,979
...Try getting a job, yeah?
Oh, look who it isn't.
168
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:46,219
Get a good look, did you, earlier?
Pervert.
169
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,659
I know who he is, Karen. He's...
170
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:49,739
He's who?
171
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,819
Jamie, I told you it was him!
172
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:55,219
We came to get you,
why didn't you phone?
173
00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:59,219
You've come back,
my angel, you've come back to us!
174
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:01,619
It's Jamie Maguire.
175
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,459
He did ten for murder.
176
00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:07,379
So? He's still a perv. He is!
177
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:11,379
Come on, let's get you home.
Party, party, party, eh.
178
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:16,019
You come too. Come on.
179
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:25,899
I remember him.
180
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:26,939
Monica!
181
00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:29,539
Monica!
Don't be daft, Frank. I've seen it all before.
182
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:30,859
Yeah, but that was...
183
00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:33,179
Come on, it's just a bit of fun.
184
00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:34,739
She's nice, your wife,
185
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:37,579
but I bet you're not as good
together as you and me were.
186
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:38,699
Don't start, don't start.
187
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:42,699
Do you still want me?
Oh, yes, you do.
188
00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:46,659
Come on, come with Monica.
Just for a minute. Just in here.
189
00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:50,659
Yeah, come on, you dirty bastard.
190
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,019
You know you want to.
191
00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:57,019
What's the matter? Getting something
at home that I can't give you?
192
00:11:58,180 --> 00:12:00,659
Whoah!
Sorry.
193
00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:02,539
It's the gents, this, love.
194
00:12:02,540 --> 00:12:06,419
You know, that's why it says it
on the door. All right, Billy.
195
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,379
It's what little man's all about.
196
00:12:08,380 --> 00:12:10,859
Gents pee standing up, don't they?
197
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:14,859
Fucking women, hey, Billy,
can't fucking shoot them!
198
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,059
Oh, dear, what's happened here?
199
00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:27,059
Come on.
Come on, Sheila, let's get...
200
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:30,699
Get you home. I've got you.
It's all right. Don't fetch up here.
201
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,899
All right, got you.
202
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:36,819
Yeah. See you later.
203
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:40,059
See you later.
204
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,779
What won the three o'clock
at Haydock? You know?
205
00:12:42,780 --> 00:12:45,219
Ambleton, mate,
you've lost your money.
206
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:51,859
Welcome home, son. Cheers!
207
00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:54,779
It's grand to have you back.
208
00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:57,299
Soon clean up this place,
show them who's boss.
209
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,179
Jamie Maguire back on the manor!
210
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:03,419
Shane, stop that, you little shite!
Your mother went to a lot of trouble.
211
00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:05,299
So, are you gonna tell him
then or what?
212
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,379
Tell me what?
213
00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:08,579
We've got you a little job,
help you get back on your feet.
214
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:09,659
Set you up, like.
215
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:10,979
But I'm in it as well, aren't I?
216
00:13:10,980 --> 00:13:12,179
All right, Shane.
217
00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:14,619
It's a kidnapping. Total no-brainer.
218
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:18,619
Look, if it's Shane's job,
let him do it. I'm not interested.
219
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:32,419
Frank?
220
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:35,019
I want to go on top.
221
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:39,019
Oh, Monica, no.
222
00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:19,979
Oh! Hello, Norma.
223
00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:23,979
All right?
224
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:26,419
This has got Vitamin C in it.
225
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:30,419
It's very good for you.
226
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:34,459
Bitch.
227
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:39,139
You don't need to do it for him.
228
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:52,419
Come on.
Be quiet. She might hear.
229
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:57,939
Cat litter!
As in, litter for cats.
230
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:04,059
Is everyone around here retarded?
231
00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:06,219
I need the fucking toilet!
232
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:08,779
Norma, hello.
233
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:10,059
You could use ours.
234
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,779
Thank fuck. Somebody normal.
235
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:14,619
You'll have to take your shoes off.
236
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:17,739
Please don't touch the walls,
because I've cleaned.
237
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:21,739
OK. Let's go.
238
00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:30,899
Ah, see - I didn't need you.
239
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,459
What the fuck is that?!
240
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:34,699
A Royal Heffernan.
241
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,379
9/4 favourite, Saturday.
242
00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:37,939
Dead fucking cert.
243
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:39,699
Owner's got a mint riding on it.
244
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:42,299
They'll soon cough up the ransom
to get him back.
245
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:46,219
And because you didn't pitch in, now
you don't see any of the winnings.
246
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,739
I've got my own plans.
247
00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:50,219
Course you have.
Chip off the old block, eh?
248
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:52,979
I'm gonna run him in some other
races while I've got him.
249
00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,179
Make even more cash.
250
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:55,939
No-one will even recognise him.
251
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:57,379
Really?!
252
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,619
Yep.
253
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:02,619
Kidnapped the jockey
as well have you?
254
00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:06,859
Ah!
255
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:10,099
It's like she's some fucking
changeling or something.
256
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:14,099
One minute it's all, "I'll have
your stir-fry on the table when you get back from Stuttgart,"
257
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,459
and the next - dust.
258
00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:20,459
She wouldn't even talk to us,
the mad bitch. Oh, but I love her.
259
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:25,099
So...
What do you think happened, then?
260
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:27,499
Well, it's obvious, isn't it?
261
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,819
Richard and bastard Judy.
262
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:31,939
I told her not to watch that crap!
263
00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:35,219
Some Christian wanker
banging on about family.
264
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:38,019
We're the victims. Me and her.
265
00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:42,019
Fucking patriarchal, hegemony
pissing all over us.
266
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:45,859
So you don't think she's
back for them, then?
267
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:49,859
Sheila, she had some past life
regression last solstice.
268
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,459
Came back saying the kids weren't
even hers.
269
00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:55,099
Belong to some fucking witch
in the 14th century.
270
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,699
But she stood on a lay line and
271
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:59,939
sent the kids to the wrong womb.
Course she's not back for them.
272
00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:01,739
But she's still a lesbian though?
273
00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:04,019
But she's still a lesbian though?
Yeah, course she is, you daft bitch.
274
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:06,779
We may not have had sex in
the past eight months
275
00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:09,459
but you don't go
back and forward, do ya?
276
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:10,979
No sex?
277
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:13,899
Hang on a minute. I can't do
two things at once in here.
278
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,859
Hey, Sheila?
You got any more bog roll?
279
00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:24,859
Sheila?!
280
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:32,179
Aargh! Pervert!
281
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:37,059
Who is it, then? Peters and Lee?
282
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:40,139
It is Kevin and Veronica.
283
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:43,699
I was going to say, I didn't know
they put Peters and Lee in prison.
284
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:47,699
Mind you... Welcome Home
weren't much of a song, was it?
285
00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,539
Rainy days and Mondays was better.
286
00:17:49,540 --> 00:17:51,179
That weren't Peters and Lee.
287
00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:55,179
Do you mind?
My daughter has been incarcerated.
288
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,899
Do you mind?
My daughter has been incarcerated. She's not exactly Nelson fucking
289
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,499
She was trying to steal a baby.
290
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,179
She was paying for it.
291
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:05,019
What, with the money she'd stolen
from everyone around here?
292
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,219
I can't see you getting many
fucking takers.
293
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:10,859
I'm only doing what
any mother would do.
294
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,379
I've got to do something.
295
00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:17,059
Even if it's just widow's mites.
296
00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:21,059
I'll have a T-shirt, Carol.
297
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:27,339
Out of my pension.
298
00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:30,699
I just thought,
now that we're friends
299
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,139
we could go shopping together.
300
00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:35,619
Sorry, Sheil. I'm too busy here.
301
00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:38,779
I could babysit the twins
for you at yours if you like.
302
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:41,539
No, I need to get some new stuff.
303
00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:43,139
I thought...
304
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:44,779
Since we like the same drink,
305
00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:46,899
maybe we have the same taste
in clothes.
306
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,259
I mean,
307
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,579
you could give me a second opinion.
308
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:54,579
We could have a nice girly day out.
309
00:18:54,580 --> 00:18:58,579
I could do the washing up, Mum.
310
00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:09,939
See this?
Ned Kelly, proper Irish hero.
311
00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:13,219
Morning, can I help youse officers?
312
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,539
We were just...
313
00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:16,419
We were just...
A racehorse has been stolen.
314
00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:17,819
We want to know if you've seen
anything.
315
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:21,659
We want to know if you've seen
anything. No. Haven't seen anything.
316
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,899
Jamie... Have you met Jamie,
my eldest?
317
00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:25,659
Have you seen anything?
318
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:27,859
Not so as I recall.
319
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:29,579
Shane, have you seen a racehorse
around these parts?
320
00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:32,099
I ain't seen shit.
321
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,619
Sorry, can't help you.
322
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:38,419
If we do, we'll let you know.
323
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:42,419
Right. Obliged. Nice to meet you.
324
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,179
What are you doing?
325
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:53,179
Different horse.
Hasn't got white socks.
326
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:01,739
Yeah, I just need to know...
327
00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:03,419
There's a queuing system.
328
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:07,419
So get yourself a ticket,
take a seat, yeah?
329
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,899
You're Jamie Maguire, aren't you?
330
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:18,979
Who did you kill?
331
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,059
Fuck off, will you?
332
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,779
I've killed a man.
333
00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:23,859
No, you haven't.
334
00:20:23,860 --> 00:20:27,859
I have. I shot him.
And his head fell off.
335
00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:30,259
Good for you.
336
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:32,979
Come to have a pop at me, have you?
337
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:36,899
Come to prove yourself
to the hard man.
338
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:39,779
Come on then, if you want some.
339
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:43,779
Do you want some?
340
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,739
You all right?
341
00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:58,419
Yes, what can I get you?
342
00:20:58,420 --> 00:21:02,419
Pint of lager and
any chance of a job going?
343
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,579
Er... Job?
344
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,299
Job?That's right.
345
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:07,419
Here?
346
00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:08,659
This is your pub, isn't it?
347
00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:12,459
Right and how much
will you want paying for that?
348
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:15,059
Whatever the going rate is.
349
00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:16,499
I dunno.
350
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,499
Make me an offer, then.
351
00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:25,459
What do you pay for
a protection racket?
352
00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:28,379
How the fuck should I know?
353
00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:30,579
How about 80?
354
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:33,699
A week?
355
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:34,779
A day.
356
00:21:34,780 --> 00:21:38,219
80 a day? All right.
357
00:21:38,220 --> 00:21:39,499
Is there a room with the job?
358
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:43,499
Is there a room with the job?
Room?! Yeah.
359
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:49,899
What you doing? That's my room.
360
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:51,059
Yeah, but you're fired.
361
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,619
Yeah, but you're fired.
What?
362
00:21:52,620 --> 00:21:55,219
All right,
I shagged the delivery guy.
363
00:21:55,220 --> 00:21:59,219
It's not that - it's him.
364
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:01,499
Next!
365
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:05,499
BEEPING
366
00:22:06,940 --> 00:22:08,899
Oh, Christ.
367
00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:11,139
Right, so...
368
00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:14,379
All I need, see, is a divorce.
369
00:22:14,380 --> 00:22:17,499
I was hoping you could
370
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:21,499
tell me which way you do it,
if you don't want her to know.
371
00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:24,139
"Her" being?
372
00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:25,619
The wife.
373
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,139
My ex-wife.
374
00:22:27,140 --> 00:22:30,779
Soon to be.
375
00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,019
Next!
376
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,059
It's difficult, isn't it,
as you get older?
377
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:40,779
You don't know what to wear.
You want to look sexy,
378
00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:44,779
but not looking like you charge
a fiver for a hand job.
379
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:49,859
Or is it the same for, you know,
lesbians?
380
00:22:49,860 --> 00:22:53,859
I mean, what age do you stop wearing
cargo pants, or don't you?
381
00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:59,259
I don't know. I never have.
I prefer something more feminine.
382
00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:01,939
Oh, like these.
383
00:23:01,940 --> 00:23:05,939
Look. You can never have
enough lingerie, can you?
384
00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:09,819
It's like what they say - you can
never be too rich or too thin.
385
00:23:09,820 --> 00:23:12,139
Except for that Posh Spice,
she is, isn't she?
386
00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:14,499
And she's dipped in wood stain.
387
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,019
Looks lovely on you.
388
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:20,019
Let's try some on!
389
00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:24,659
So, Monica,
what kind of women do you like?
390
00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:28,059
Oh, no.
391
00:23:28,060 --> 00:23:29,659
Let's sit out here, shall we?
392
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,379
The small ones are a bit
claustrophobic.
393
00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:33,179
The small ones are a bit
claustrophobic. I thought you were agoraphobic.
394
00:23:33,180 --> 00:23:35,979
Agoraphobic/claustrophobic.
395
00:23:35,980 --> 00:23:37,619
Anything you like, really.
396
00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:41,619
Illness poker, me.
Raise me one, if you like.
397
00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:49,339
What are you doing, Sheila?
398
00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:53,339
Do you want me to help you, Monica?
I know you want me to help you.
399
00:23:53,540 --> 00:23:55,739
I've got very big breasts.
400
00:23:55,740 --> 00:23:57,779
It's every woman's fantasy.
401
00:23:57,780 --> 00:24:01,779
Lesbianism. I know it's mine.
We're all bisexual, aren't we?
402
00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:03,859
Are you bisexual, Monica?
403
00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:07,859
Or are you just gay? Aargh!
404
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:11,939
It's not my sexuality
that's in question.
405
00:24:11,940 --> 00:24:13,499
Did Frank put you up to this?
406
00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:17,499
I just want to know if you want to
- if that's why you've come back?
407
00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:19,179
Get off!
408
00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:23,179
Monica! Aargh!
409
00:24:24,740 --> 00:24:28,739
Good God! They're on drugs.
410
00:24:30,460 --> 00:24:32,379
Get off!
411
00:24:32,380 --> 00:24:33,379
Get off!
That's enough!
412
00:24:41,860 --> 00:24:45,859
If you want the horse back alive
get 20,000 ready in used notes.
413
00:24:46,260 --> 00:24:47,259
'Who is this?'
414
00:24:47,260 --> 00:24:49,659
Fuckin' knifeman, that's who!
415
00:24:49,660 --> 00:24:51,419
Can you hear that?!
416
00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:52,499
'OK, OK, calm down.'
417
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:56,499
And if you call the pigs again
you'll have his head on your pillow first thing in the fuckin'...
418
00:24:58,140 --> 00:24:59,939
For fuck's sake, Jamie!
419
00:24:59,940 --> 00:25:00,379
'Jamie who?'
420
00:25:00,380 --> 00:25:02,419
You stupid fuckin' prick, Shane!
421
00:25:02,420 --> 00:25:03,299
What did you say his name for?
422
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:07,179
Don't upset your brother, Shane -
you know how gets when he's angry.
423
00:25:07,180 --> 00:25:10,099
Why not fucking make him do summat
instead of hanging around pub?
424
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:14,099
Don't bother. I'm moving out!
425
00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:18,899
So that's what you were after
all along, was it?
426
00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:21,059
When you asked me out?
427
00:25:21,060 --> 00:25:22,659
Make a pass at me.
428
00:25:22,660 --> 00:25:25,819
I just...
429
00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:29,139
I just wanted to know
if you were still a lesbian.
430
00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:31,019
I'm sorry.
431
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:34,499
It's just I know what a hold
you used have over Frank
432
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,299
and I got scared.
433
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:40,299
I can see why he's with you.
434
00:25:41,220 --> 00:25:43,259
Lovely figure.
435
00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:45,179
Good cook.
436
00:25:45,180 --> 00:25:46,739
City and Guilds.
437
00:25:46,740 --> 00:25:48,499
Grade 1.
438
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:51,499
Don't think I'd even know
how to be with a man any more,
439
00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,419
wouldn't know what to do.
440
00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:57,019
It's like riding a bike.
You never forget.
441
00:25:57,020 --> 00:26:01,019
I don't think I was very good in the
first place. Frank and me, well,...
442
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:05,339
It's easy, just give 'em a blow-job.
They do anything for one of those.
443
00:26:05,340 --> 00:26:06,899
Really?
444
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:10,139
The trick is to hum while
you're doing it.
445
00:26:10,140 --> 00:26:12,699
Makes it vibrate more.
446
00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:16,699
Tell you the truth, I found that out
by accident when I was humming the theme tune to Ready Steady Cook.
447
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:21,539
Frank went off like a rocket.
448
00:26:21,540 --> 00:26:25,539
1812 Overture's the best though,
Tchaikovsky. It's all those cannons.
449
00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:30,259
Frank'd do anything
for those cannons.
450
00:26:35,940 --> 00:26:38,539
So, you never said, are you...
451
00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:42,539
Are you still a lesbian then?
452
00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:48,819
I've only ever wanted one woman.
453
00:26:48,820 --> 00:26:52,019
That's Norma.
454
00:26:52,020 --> 00:26:56,019
Oh.
455
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:05,139
What's the point of you crackpot
fuckin' Mormon God-freaks then?
456
00:27:05,140 --> 00:27:08,299
Polygamy was the one
fucking good idea you had.
457
00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:12,299
Bunch of Ken dolls.
458
00:27:13,060 --> 00:27:17,059
Hey, and I'm gonna burn
me Donny Osmond albums an' all!
459
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:24,899
Right, so... huh?
460
00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:29,499
What the hell are they doing
in here?
461
00:27:31,940 --> 00:27:35,539
Oh, me feet!
462
00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:39,019
I've been around the estate twice
for old coppers.
463
00:27:39,020 --> 00:27:40,259
And me.
464
00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:42,139
You think you've got problems.
465
00:27:42,140 --> 00:27:45,299
Do us a favour, Lil,
and get me a drink in.
466
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:49,299
Oh, what's she like?
467
00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:55,539
I don't understand.
What the fuck's he playing at?
468
00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:57,459
He's got his reasons.
469
00:27:57,460 --> 00:28:01,459
He'll tell us when he's ready.
470
00:28:03,260 --> 00:28:05,739
All right, you lot,
that's your time, please!
471
00:28:05,740 --> 00:28:06,299
What's going on here now?
472
00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:07,979
You're jokin', aren't you?
473
00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:11,419
Where the fuck you been?
Not till 12.
474
00:28:11,420 --> 00:28:15,099
I mean it's just that we can open
later now than before.
475
00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:18,379
It's all right, everybody.
It's just a mistake.
476
00:28:18,380 --> 00:28:20,739
We're open till 12!
477
00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:24,739
Oi, sit back down!
478
00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:39,339
So have you got everything
you need, have you?
479
00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:41,659
Yeah. Good night.
480
00:28:41,660 --> 00:28:43,259
Good night.
481
00:28:43,260 --> 00:28:45,739
Why don't you get him dancing girls
an' all?
482
00:28:45,740 --> 00:28:47,979
Karen, he's mutilated people.
What do you want me to do?
483
00:28:47,980 --> 00:28:49,499
Grow a spine?
484
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:52,419
Hey, I'm not having that.
All right, it's your choice -
485
00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:56,419
you can share with me,
or you can share with him.
486
00:29:24,140 --> 00:29:28,139
Jamie?
487
00:29:29,780 --> 00:29:33,779
What... what d'you want?
488
00:30:42,660 --> 00:30:46,659
Oh, where the fuck?
489
00:30:49,660 --> 00:30:52,779
She actually said
she wanted to get back with Norma?
490
00:30:52,780 --> 00:30:55,459
She might as well have done.
491
00:30:55,460 --> 00:30:59,339
It's, it's just gone stale.
You can tell.
492
00:30:59,340 --> 00:31:01,779
Norma not making an effort,
493
00:31:01,780 --> 00:31:03,699
Monica frustrated,
494
00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:05,619
taking out her anger.
495
00:31:05,620 --> 00:31:07,259
You know what it's like -
496
00:31:07,260 --> 00:31:11,259
been together for a while,
first casualty's cunnilingus.
497
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:15,499
Well, you will.
498
00:31:17,380 --> 00:31:21,379
She wants to go home with Norma,
I know she does.
499
00:31:23,820 --> 00:31:27,819
Bring the Fuzz-away.
We might need it.
500
00:31:38,260 --> 00:31:39,739
'Ere, horsey, horsey!
501
00:31:39,740 --> 00:31:41,619
Have you seen an 'orse?
502
00:31:41,620 --> 00:31:42,499
An 'orse?
503
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,019
Yes, a fucking horse.
504
00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:46,339
About that big. You can't miss it.
505
00:31:46,340 --> 00:31:50,339
Forget it.
506
00:31:50,740 --> 00:31:52,219
Royal Heffernan!
507
00:31:52,220 --> 00:31:53,179
Roy-ie!
508
00:31:53,180 --> 00:31:54,579
Jim-bo!
509
00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:55,579
Fuck off!
510
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:59,579
Leg it!
511
00:31:59,740 --> 00:32:03,659
I'm not conforming
to this shite, Sheila.
512
00:32:03,660 --> 00:32:07,659
It's just society scared
of real women and our hairy bits.
513
00:32:08,020 --> 00:32:09,659
Wanting us to look like kids.
514
00:32:09,660 --> 00:32:13,659
But sometimes, Norma,
it's just making the gesture, that's all it takes.
515
00:32:14,580 --> 00:32:16,459
It's like chilli con carne -
516
00:32:16,460 --> 00:32:19,699
if you lose the garnish,
all of civilisation crumbles.
517
00:32:19,700 --> 00:32:23,699
She has to remember you're attractive
to other women, that's all.
518
00:32:23,740 --> 00:32:26,739
I mean, look.It says here,
"Lack creates desire and..."
519
00:32:26,740 --> 00:32:30,739
Hey, if that's that Freud pillock,
I'm not havin' it.
520
00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:34,779
Fuckin' going on about chicks
wanting dicks. 'Fuck's he on?
521
00:32:34,780 --> 00:32:36,259
It's Jade Goody in Hello.
522
00:32:36,260 --> 00:32:40,259
We all need a boost now and again.
Freshen ourselves up.
523
00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:42,339
Are you saying I smell?
524
00:32:42,340 --> 00:32:45,499
No. No, of course not, Norma.
525
00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:47,259
Well, you do a bit.
526
00:32:47,260 --> 00:32:50,059
Anyway. You just have a soak
in there for a minute,
527
00:32:50,060 --> 00:32:52,779
I'll get you a glass of dry Italian.
There you go.
528
00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:54,179
Cheers.
529
00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:56,539
Come on.
530
00:33:09,860 --> 00:33:11,859
Bloody Nora.
531
00:33:11,860 --> 00:33:14,499
Don't look at me.
I didn't put owt in it.
532
00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:17,339
How the fuck do you lose
a bleedin' horse?
533
00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:20,779
I don't know. I think someone's
nicked it. It weren't my fault.
534
00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:24,779
Jesus Christ alive!
535
00:33:26,980 --> 00:33:28,939
There you go.
536
00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:30,459
What the fuck do you want?
537
00:33:30,460 --> 00:33:33,099
A round on the house can't hurt,
can it?
538
00:33:33,100 --> 00:33:35,619
Cut the fucking shite.
What do you want?
539
00:33:35,620 --> 00:33:37,899
Well, look, the thing is, Mimi,
540
00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:41,499
Your Jamie and this job he's doing.
I don't know what it is,
541
00:33:41,500 --> 00:33:44,259
but if the brewery get wind of it,
I'm sunk.
542
00:33:44,260 --> 00:33:47,939
I'll give you free drinks for life,
just, please, speak to him.
543
00:33:47,940 --> 00:33:51,939
My Jamie does what he likes,
where he likes.
544
00:33:52,380 --> 00:33:55,019
Hey, Jamie, you just carry on, lad,
545
00:33:55,020 --> 00:33:57,579
with whatever job it is
you're doing from here.
546
00:33:57,580 --> 00:34:00,659
We're right behind ya.
547
00:34:00,660 --> 00:34:04,619
I'm not running a job.
Not from here, not from anywhere.
548
00:34:04,620 --> 00:34:06,539
I'm going straight.
549
00:34:06,540 --> 00:34:10,019
That's why I took the 'orse back
to its owner.
550
00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:14,019
You fucking what?
551
00:34:16,620 --> 00:34:20,619
Now has anybody else got a problem
with that?
552
00:34:22,220 --> 00:34:25,459
Cock.
553
00:34:25,460 --> 00:34:28,619
You see, Black Forest gateau's got
a terrible reputation,
554
00:34:28,620 --> 00:34:32,619
but it's actually a very sensual
cake, rustic, invented in the 1930s.
555
00:34:34,220 --> 00:34:36,499
Sounds lovely, Sheila.
556
00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:39,059
Monica loves chocolate. She told me.
557
00:34:39,060 --> 00:34:41,939
It's one of the things
Norma won't let her have.
558
00:34:41,940 --> 00:34:45,539
Which is very short-sighted of her
cos it's actually aphrodisiac.
559
00:34:45,540 --> 00:34:48,979
You wait - there'll be no
holding her back, the dirty bitch.
560
00:34:48,980 --> 00:34:51,939
Oh and it's a very evocative name
for lesbians.
561
00:34:51,940 --> 00:34:53,899
Unless she waxes.
562
00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:57,899
Come on. Let's get this over there.
563
00:35:04,780 --> 00:35:08,779
Oh.
564
00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:13,099
Norma?
565
00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:22,339
You all right, Bird?
566
00:35:22,340 --> 00:35:25,819
Dinner is served.
567
00:35:25,820 --> 00:35:29,819
Come on.
568
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,139
You look nice, Norma.
569
00:35:46,690 --> 00:35:49,969
You've even got lipstick on.
570
00:35:49,970 --> 00:35:51,809
It's...
571
00:35:51,810 --> 00:35:54,169
It's fanny pink.
572
00:35:54,170 --> 00:35:57,929
Debbie gave it me.
573
00:35:57,930 --> 00:36:01,929
It's fancy pink.
I told you you need glasses.
574
00:36:04,010 --> 00:36:07,289
You told me you loved me.
575
00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:09,689
So...
576
00:36:09,690 --> 00:36:11,609
what happened, bird?
577
00:36:11,610 --> 00:36:15,569
Can't we sort this out?
578
00:36:15,570 --> 00:36:16,729
Keep the change.
579
00:36:16,730 --> 00:36:18,489
Cheers, mate.
580
00:36:18,490 --> 00:36:19,769
So he's really going straight then?
581
00:36:19,770 --> 00:36:20,929
Apparently.
582
00:36:20,930 --> 00:36:24,209
Great. Then I can
have me job back. Oi!
583
00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:27,249
You only got me job because
people are too scared of you.
584
00:36:27,250 --> 00:36:28,769
Karen!
585
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:30,049
So this was...
586
00:36:30,050 --> 00:36:32,729
My job and now I want it back!
587
00:36:32,730 --> 00:36:35,569
Hang on a minute! I have
some say in this, it is my pub
588
00:36:35,570 --> 00:36:37,609
and there's been no trouble
in here since he started!
589
00:36:37,610 --> 00:36:38,649
Jez!
590
00:36:38,650 --> 00:36:42,329
So why don't you share it?
Half the week each. That's me final offer.
591
00:36:46,890 --> 00:36:48,609
You're still a fucking perv!
592
00:36:48,610 --> 00:36:50,209
You what?
593
00:36:50,210 --> 00:36:54,209
You came into Jez's room
last night and you started getting off with me dress.
594
00:36:54,610 --> 00:36:56,289
Was I sleep walking?
595
00:36:56,290 --> 00:36:57,849
Look, I sleep walk.
596
00:36:57,850 --> 00:37:01,849
Dunno what you were doing,
but you were bollock naked and you were groping my dress.
597
00:37:02,410 --> 00:37:03,529
So you saw me?
598
00:37:03,530 --> 00:37:05,129
Course I did.
599
00:37:05,130 --> 00:37:07,369
Well, how much did you see?
600
00:37:07,370 --> 00:37:08,689
Everything.
601
00:37:08,690 --> 00:37:12,689
In detail, close up.
602
00:37:13,210 --> 00:37:17,209
Who's pervin' now, eh?
603
00:37:17,890 --> 00:37:20,769
Oh, there's no
community spirit any more.
604
00:37:20,770 --> 00:37:22,849
It's every man for himself,
isn't it?
605
00:37:22,850 --> 00:37:24,569
I should have known
nobody would give anything.
606
00:37:24,570 --> 00:37:28,569
Can I have my pension back then?
607
00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:32,769
I've given
it to a kiddies charity!
608
00:37:32,770 --> 00:37:36,769
Oh! What are you like?
609
00:37:47,290 --> 00:37:47,929
What's happening?
610
00:37:47,930 --> 00:37:48,769
They're holding hands.
611
00:37:48,770 --> 00:37:49,929
Are you sure?
612
00:37:49,930 --> 00:37:53,449
Yeah.
613
00:37:53,450 --> 00:37:57,449
There's a cherry on the top.
614
00:37:58,250 --> 00:38:02,249
Norm, the one thing that
you can't give me is what I need.
615
00:38:06,730 --> 00:38:10,329
Me babies.
616
00:38:10,330 --> 00:38:12,649
So, it's really them then?
617
00:38:12,650 --> 00:38:14,609
I've told ya!
618
00:38:14,610 --> 00:38:16,569
Well, all right.
619
00:38:16,570 --> 00:38:20,569
If that's what it's about,
I'll have a baby for you!
620
00:38:23,010 --> 00:38:25,329
I mean, I'm not
fucking any bloke, mind.
621
00:38:25,330 --> 00:38:29,249
We'll have to, er, get a donation,
but if that's what it takes,
622
00:38:29,250 --> 00:38:31,449
I'm there.
623
00:38:31,450 --> 00:38:34,129
You'd do that for me?
624
00:38:34,130 --> 00:38:38,129
I'd do anything for you.
625
00:38:38,210 --> 00:38:42,089
Please, please,
please come back to me.
626
00:38:42,090 --> 00:38:44,969
Oh, Norm.
627
00:38:44,970 --> 00:38:48,969
D'you really love me that much?
628
00:38:57,330 --> 00:39:01,329
Well?
629
00:39:06,130 --> 00:39:10,129
I need the loo.
630
00:39:14,610 --> 00:39:17,049
So, what's she said?
631
00:39:17,050 --> 00:39:19,369
She's thinking about it.
632
00:39:19,370 --> 00:39:22,569
I've offered her a baby.
633
00:39:22,570 --> 00:39:23,809
A baby?
634
00:39:23,810 --> 00:39:27,409
That's what I've promised...
if she'll come back.
635
00:39:27,410 --> 00:39:31,009
Might have to get someone
else to do it, though.
636
00:39:31,010 --> 00:39:33,409
How do two women...?
637
00:39:33,410 --> 00:39:35,769
Turkey baster!
638
00:39:38,010 --> 00:39:42,009
Oh, Frank.
639
00:39:42,890 --> 00:39:46,329
I'm so confused.
640
00:39:46,330 --> 00:39:48,929
Norma's offered me a baby.
641
00:39:51,850 --> 00:39:55,609
Well...
642
00:39:55,610 --> 00:39:59,609
I mean, supposing
it's all just words
643
00:39:59,810 --> 00:40:03,809
and it all just
gets tired again and...
644
00:40:03,890 --> 00:40:07,889
I end up feeling trapped.
645
00:40:08,130 --> 00:40:09,929
Oh, Frank.
646
00:40:09,930 --> 00:40:12,849
I need a hug.
647
00:40:12,850 --> 00:40:14,049
Oh.
648
00:40:14,050 --> 00:40:15,449
Oh.
649
00:40:15,450 --> 00:40:17,409
Oh.
650
00:40:17,410 --> 00:40:19,809
Oh.
651
00:40:19,810 --> 00:40:21,889
Oh.
652
00:40:21,890 --> 00:40:24,649
Oh.
653
00:40:24,650 --> 00:40:28,649
♪ Do-do-do-do do-do-do
654
00:40:30,490 --> 00:40:34,489
♪ Do-do-do-do-do
655
00:40:35,370 --> 00:40:37,609
♪ Do-do... ♪
656
00:40:37,610 --> 00:40:40,049
So, you get a
turkey baster and you...
657
00:40:40,050 --> 00:40:41,169
Is that singing?
658
00:40:46,490 --> 00:40:50,489
I can't hear anything.
659
00:40:51,330 --> 00:40:52,809
Oh!
660
00:40:52,810 --> 00:40:56,329
Oh! Oh! Oh!
661
00:41:31,690 --> 00:41:35,689
Where's the fucking remote?
662
00:41:35,770 --> 00:41:38,369
Oh, no. It's all right,
you don't have to go.
663
00:41:38,370 --> 00:41:41,089
I'm sorry, Norma. I can't do it.
664
00:41:41,090 --> 00:41:43,809
It's my babies here I need.
665
00:41:43,810 --> 00:41:46,049
What are you talking about?
666
00:41:46,050 --> 00:41:48,529
I'm not coming back, Norm.
667
00:41:48,530 --> 00:41:52,529
And I am sorry to you three an' all,
you went to so much trouble.
668
00:41:53,370 --> 00:41:56,489
Food was lovely, though.
669
00:41:56,490 --> 00:41:58,409
It's all right.
670
00:41:58,410 --> 00:42:02,409
I understand.
671
00:42:20,690 --> 00:42:22,289
Here.
672
00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:24,769
Cheers.
673
00:42:24,770 --> 00:42:28,769
So what are you going to do now?
Are you gonna go home?
674
00:42:29,090 --> 00:42:32,089
Nah. She'll come round.
675
00:42:32,090 --> 00:42:34,409
She's just not thinking straight.
676
00:42:34,410 --> 00:42:38,169
She doesn't realise that
she can have me as well as you lot,
677
00:42:38,170 --> 00:42:42,169
but she will and when she does
I'll be here, waiting.
678
00:42:43,130 --> 00:42:47,129
You can use the inside toilets
from now on if you want to.
679
00:42:50,450 --> 00:42:52,529
Thanks.
680
00:42:52,530 --> 00:42:57,089
Electricity, 40 a quarter,
and I'll get you your rent book.
681
00:42:57,090 --> 00:43:00,009
Hey?
682
00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:04,009
We have to find a way of getting
shot of her. We just have to...
683
00:43:04,610 --> 00:43:06,249
Sheila, will you...
684
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,289
I'm not fighting her
any more, Frank.
685
00:43:08,290 --> 00:43:10,929
If she wants the babies
she's entitled to that.
686
00:43:10,930 --> 00:43:13,129
Yeah, but, Sheila...
687
00:43:13,130 --> 00:43:16,409
It's too exhausting, hate.
688
00:43:16,410 --> 00:43:18,849
Anyway, the best woman's won.
689
00:43:18,850 --> 00:43:22,449
I'm married to you now, there's
nothing she can do about that.
690
00:43:22,450 --> 00:43:26,449
And if you love someone set them
free. I'm sitting you free, Frank.
691
00:43:26,570 --> 00:43:30,569
I'm trusting you.
692
00:43:34,130 --> 00:43:35,849
Hey, hey.
693
00:43:35,850 --> 00:43:37,689
Hey! What you doing?
694
00:43:37,690 --> 00:43:40,049
There was too much
sunlight yesterday.
695
00:43:40,050 --> 00:43:42,689
I'm feeling a bit insidey outsidey.
696
00:43:42,690 --> 00:43:46,689
Thought I'd make these for myself.
697
00:43:50,650 --> 00:43:53,969
'Squidgy-gate. Camilla-gate.
698
00:43:53,970 --> 00:43:56,609
'Watergate. Gareth Gates.
699
00:43:56,610 --> 00:44:00,609
'I mean, what's it all about, eh?
All these private secrets?
700
00:44:01,810 --> 00:44:04,449
'What good does it do, eh,
to let them out?
701
00:44:04,450 --> 00:44:07,689
'All you get's a
load of heartache and misery.
702
00:44:07,690 --> 00:44:11,689
'And what you don't know
can't hurt you, that's what I say.
703
00:44:11,930 --> 00:44:14,449
'Ignorance is bliss.
704
00:44:14,450 --> 00:44:17,249
'Plus, it must be true,
I mean, look at George Bush.
705
00:44:17,250 --> 00:44:27,249
'Thick as fucking shit,
yet he smiles enough, doesn't he?'
706
00:44:21,250 --> 00:44:22,250
www.addic7ed.com
707
00:45:27,170 --> 00:45:30,689
Yee-haa!
708
00:45:30,739 --> 00:45:35,289
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