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Nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate
is the Garden of Eden
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00:00:06,010 --> 00:00:10,447
but it's been a good home to us -
to me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids,
3
00:00:10,490 --> 00:00:16,201
who l'm proud of, cos every single
one of 'em reminds me a little of me.
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00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:20,766
They can all think for themselves,
which they've got me to thank for.
5
00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:21,925
Quick, leg it!
6
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:24,325
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite,
which is why nobody calls him
7
00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:26,361
Phillip any more.
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00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:28,878
lan, a lot like his mam,
which is handy for the others
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00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:31,398
cos she's disappeared into thin air.
10
00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:34,248
And Carl - we daren't let him
grow his hair for two reasons.
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00:00:34,290 --> 00:00:36,440
One, it makes it stand on end
and makes him look like Toyah.
12
00:00:36,490 --> 00:00:42,122
Two, nits love it. Debbie, sent by
God, total angel - you've to check
13
00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:45,685
your change but she'll go miles
out of her way to do you a favour.
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00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:48,449
Plus lickle Liam,
who's gonna be a star some day.
15
00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:50,685
Sheila, me bird,
couldn't be happier,
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00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,402
one plate short of a full set, like.
17
00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:56,329
And fantastic neighbours
Kev and Veronica,
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00:00:56,370 --> 00:00:58,725
lend ya anything,
well, almost anything.
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00:00:58,770 --> 00:01:03,400
Carol and Marty, the lodgers from hell.
Last of the lonely hearts
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00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:06,522
and a psychologist's wet dream.
Still, nobody's perfect.
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00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:10,927
But all of 'em to a man know,
first and foremost,
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00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:15,919
one of the most vital necessities in life is,
they know how to throw a party!
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00:01:15,970 --> 00:01:17,198
Scatter!
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00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:21,405
(Frank) 'Me first stag night,
the barman tells me a joke.
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00:01:21,450 --> 00:01:24,567
'Kid goes up to his dad, says
he's heard that in some countries,
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00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:26,362
'a man doesn't even know his
wife till he marries her.
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00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:29,925
'His dad tells him, ''That happens
in every fucking country, son.''
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'And it's true, innit?
l mean, if l'd have known Monica
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00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:35,928
'was gonna be a lezzer,
l'd never have married her, would l?
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00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:41,124
'Well, yeah, probably, l mean, l'd have thought
l was in with a, you know, flesh sandwich.
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00:01:41,170 --> 00:01:45,368
'But the point l'm making,
is, you just don't know, do you?
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00:01:45,410 --> 00:01:49,528
'Spin the fucking wheel. So that's
the point of a stag do, innit?
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00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:52,926
'Cos like the chief Roman said,
''Veni, vidi, vodka.''
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00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:58,328
'Numb me fucking senses, boys, l'm
comin' in!' Whoa! Not fucking Marty!
35
00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:22,401
All right! Oh, that's lovely...
36
00:02:22,450 --> 00:02:23,963
Out the way, mate.
37
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,846
No, Sheila.
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00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:30,245
Tell me it's not Ground Force?
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00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:32,167
lt's for the conservatory, Frank!
We're gonna have frosted glass
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00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:35,919
and blackout blinds for when
l get a bit insidey outsidey.
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00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:38,928
Hello? The garden's only
ten feet two.
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00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:40,881
What the fuck we need
a conservatory for?
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00:02:40,930 --> 00:02:43,160
The wedding!
You know what l'm like,
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00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:45,883
five hours out here and
l'll go completely doolally.
45
00:02:45,930 --> 00:02:48,125
Well, put up a fucking
wigwam or summat.
46
00:02:48,170 --> 00:02:49,444
Too much daylight.
47
00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:53,086
< How many times, eh?
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00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:55,690
lf you cold-turkey your tablets,
l need telling
49
00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:59,723
cos A, they're worth money,
B, they're a magnet for every
50
00:02:59,770 --> 00:03:04,480
fucking bronco for miles. How
the hell much is all this costing?
51
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:05,519
8,000 plus VAT.
52
00:03:05,570 --> 00:03:08,482
Well, we knocked a few quid
off for signing on the spot.
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00:03:08,530 --> 00:03:11,727
There. There you go.
54
00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:15,399
l said l wanted a conservatory,
Frank! lt's my money.
55
00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:17,441
You haven't got eight grand.
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00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,400
l've got a mortgage.
57
00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:19,599
Three, two, one, back in the room.
58
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:23,928
Fuck's a re-mortgage costing
me...us...you?
59
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,200
Peanuts, Frank!
Cos l paid off the house last year.
60
00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:28,764
But if l'm gonna be honest,
l missed filing all those bits
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00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:32,280
of paper they used to send me. So l
took the money out and everything.
62
00:03:32,330 --> 00:03:34,719
l hid it in here.
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00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:38,319
Well, you always said l
shouldn't let people take advantage.
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00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,399
Come here, you!
65
00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:48,484
God, you are a total one-off!
66
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,800
Why don't you let Frank
take care of that, eh?
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00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:53,839
OK.
68
00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:58,048
So how much you over-quoted?
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00:03:58,090 --> 00:03:59,921
Three grand? Four? Let's say four.
70
00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:02,723
Eh? Four grand, split it 50-50.
Gizza receipt for the lot.
71
00:04:02,770 --> 00:04:04,089
Job's eight grand.
72
00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:06,405
On your fucking bike, Tonto!
You seen Watchdog?
73
00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:07,803
Yeah?
74
00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:10,569
Presenter? Sheila's brother. Twins.
75
00:04:10,610 --> 00:04:12,441
He's Scottish.
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00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:14,242
Phone A Friend or fuck off.
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00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:20,161
We run an honest business here.
Pay our taxes, all above board.
78
00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:22,519
l've just pulled a cake out
if we're all done and dusted?
79
00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:24,481
Beer, anyone? Gin and tonic?
80
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:26,964
Nah, l'm all right, thanks, love.
And he's had enough.
81
00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:30,319
Where the fuck did you dig them up?
82
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,281
Advert in the Church Gazette.
83
00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:37,967
Right.
84
00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:41,286
Well, thanks for telling me.
85
00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:43,525
Veronica!
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00:04:43,570 --> 00:04:46,368
Those tights you gave
me have got a hole in.
87
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:47,240
Not now, Mum.
88
00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,246
Ooh, what's the matter with her?
Lost a fiver, found a...
89
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,803
l said, not now!
90
00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:57,969
l've just found out
me lVF's failed again.
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00:04:58,010 --> 00:05:00,763
l don't know why you want kids anyway.
Pain in the bloody arse,
92
00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:05,361
if you ask me. Bleed you dry,
take away the best years of your life
93
00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:07,844
and then they grow up
to be a total waste.
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00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:12,168
Tell you what, Mum, don't mince your
words, say what you really feel.
95
00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:14,883
l mean, it's not much better
from where l'm standing, is it?
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00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:16,886
l mean, what did l get?
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00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:18,568
Jane of the fucking jungle.
98
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,283
But with a beard.
99
00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,560
Wedding dress. Done.
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00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:30,761
Order flowers. Done. Wedding cake?
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00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:33,961
Martha Stewart Berry Basket Cake
with wooden dowel supports, if l can
102
00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:37,719
get the wooden dowels. lf not, l'll
just have to use toilet roll holders.
103
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,443
And you're making that
yourself, so, done! Right,
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00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:44,085
that brings us to bridesmaids and
you'll obviously want Karen as one.
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00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:47,247
Me? Bridesmaid? You must be joking!
106
00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:50,805
So that just leaves me,
and Liam as page boy.
107
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,205
l've just had to turn your water
off, love, while we do the digging.
108
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,239
OK.
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00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:57,521
Right, so that's me and Liam, and l
need a bridesmaid's dress,
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00:05:57,570 --> 00:05:59,162
so l've found one...
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00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,166
Digging? What does he mean, digging?
112
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,806
But l don't understand.
Why are you digging?
113
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,124
For the foundations!
114
00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:09,604
The ground's solid!
Just put it on there, can't you?
115
00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:12,483
Well, it won't stand up.
We've only gotta dig a few feet.
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00:06:12,530 --> 00:06:14,646
l said no!
l don't want digging!
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00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:17,079
But if we don't dig, you
can't have a conservatory.
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- All right, just forget it then.
- You what?
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l said, forget it.
l don't want a conservatory.
120
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,968
Are you joking or what?
l've booked time in for this job.
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And you can't have a refund!
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00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,008
Then keep the money!
And the cake too, if you want it.
123
00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:31,880
Look, l've bought all the gear now!
Let's just get on with it.
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00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:38,048
Well, that's it then, innit?
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00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:41,605
No more freebies on the NHS.
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And me and Kev sure as shit haven't
got two grand for going private,
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00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,683
so it looks like game over.
128
00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:50,563
ls it still Kev's
sperm that's the problem?
129
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,521
Still doing backstroke.
130
00:06:52,570 --> 00:07:00,124
Thing is, he never wanted 'em, till bloody
mouth almighty started going on about it.
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00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,649
Now he's desperate.
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00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:05,838
How am l gonna tell him that
they've failed again? l mean...
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00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,927
When they've been hand picked
and scored out of a hundred.
134
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:14,328
And kids like Mandy Maguire can get
pregnant from just fucking sneezing.
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00:07:14,370 --> 00:07:15,689
How's that fair?
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00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:21,006
Have you ever thought
about having any?
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00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:24,888
Yeah. Dunno...
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00:07:24,930 --> 00:07:26,409
< Lot of work, aren't they?
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00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:43,042
< Leave my patio alone!
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00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:46,366
Leave it alone! Don't make me do this
cos l will!
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00:07:46,410 --> 00:07:48,640
Hey! What's going on?
Sheila! Sheila!
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l don't want it!
l don't want it!
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lt's all right. No digging. >
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00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:56,084
l don't want them to do it.
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00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,643
They won't, they won't.
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00:07:57,690 --> 00:07:59,328
lt'll be all right, it's all right,
they'll leave it alone.
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Fucking hell!
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00:08:02,810 --> 00:08:04,641
l'm so sorry. l'm so sorry, Frank.
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lt's just so awful. lt was so awful.
150
00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:09,128
All right, all right.
There's no need for...
151
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:12,048
Frank!
There's something l need to tell you.
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00:08:12,090 --> 00:08:14,684
l can't marry you
without telling you!
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00:08:14,730 --> 00:08:16,163
You're not a bloke, are you?
154
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:18,041
No! Course not!
155
00:08:18,090 --> 00:08:20,001
No. No.
156
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:21,563
l was married, before...
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00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:24,443
before Eddie.
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00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:26,720
Before Eddie...Karen's dad, Eddie?
159
00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:28,806
Yeah, Sheldon.
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00:08:28,850 --> 00:08:32,604
But he died... of a heart attack.
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00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:35,448
Oh, well,
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00:08:35,490 --> 00:08:37,446
you know,
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00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:39,082
some of these blokes these days
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00:08:39,130 --> 00:08:40,882
don't take care of themselves,
do they, you know?
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No exercise, pissing it up...
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00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,525
But l mean,
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if it's putting you off
getting married again, Sheila...
168
00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:50,644
No! No! No, it's not that.
169
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:53,643
lt's just...
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00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,487
he's buried
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00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:57,725
in the garden.
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00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:07,200
You serious?
No coffin, nothing?!
173
00:09:08,050 --> 00:09:10,245
She just wrapped him in a doily,
174
00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:14,203
said a few Hail Marys and
shoved him six feet under.
175
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,844
lt's what he would've wanted,
she reckons.
176
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,960
Give us another pint, Kev,
and a couple of E's.
177
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:21,649
< lt's a bit fucking weird, though.
178
00:09:22,690 --> 00:09:24,442
Course it's a bit fucking weird!
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00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:26,845
Fucking Michael Jackson
video in your back garden!
180
00:09:26,890 --> 00:09:29,723
Stiff under the whatsit bush!
lt's hardly Mr And Mrs, is it?
181
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,682
Hey, d'you reckon Karen knows?
182
00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:34,766
Hey, Karen...
183
00:09:34,810 --> 00:09:37,483
Don't tell her, you stupid bastard!
184
00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:39,088
lt's not like he's her dad.
185
00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,564
So what did Sheila said about it?
ls she all right?
186
00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:43,566
How the fuck should l know?
187
00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:48,839
Ooh.
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00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:51,403
Oh.
189
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:54,922
Hey, hey. So, er... So should
we have heard from the hospital?
190
00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,642
Should have been today.
191
00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:58,646
lt might be tomorrow.
192
00:09:58,690 --> 00:10:00,362
l'll take him home, shall l?
193
00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:02,765
Make sure Sheila's all right,
find out what l can.
194
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,687
Come on, tosspot!
195
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,601
Cheers!
196
00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:15,118
Ah, look at that, Liam.
You'd look sweet in that.
197
00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:16,444
Oi!
198
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,845
Who's the - spunk face
- short arse outside?
199
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:21,643
Who? Oh, not again!
200
00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:23,248
What does he want?
201
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,518
Where?
202
00:10:24,570 --> 00:10:26,879
Ah, go on Debs, he's your
boyfriend, in' he?
203
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,488
You're joking, aren't you?!
204
00:10:28,530 --> 00:10:31,408
He's only about four!
Someone tell him l've gone out.
205
00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:32,439
Come on, Liam.
206
00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,680
Fuck off!
207
00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:41,245
Thanks for bringing him home.
208
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:44,805
Well, l thought l'd come and see
how it's going, you know wi'...
209
00:10:44,850 --> 00:10:45,965
wi' wedding and that.
210
00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,764
Sorry l haven't got much to
offer you. l could do you a vodka.
211
00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:51,801
So is that where he's buried, then?
212
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,488
What?!
213
00:10:53,530 --> 00:10:55,248
Oh, l'm.. l'm sorry. lt's just...
214
00:10:55,290 --> 00:10:59,442
Well, Frank said... and,
well... l mean only to us, and l...
215
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,401
What the hell happened?
216
00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:03,441
Oohh.. There's...
217
00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,242
Let me, er... Let me do those.
218
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,327
There's not really
much to tell, actually.
219
00:11:08,370 --> 00:11:11,043
l just...couldn't handle
the funeral.
220
00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:12,842
Was the agoraphobia.
221
00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:15,279
And when he fell down stairs
and killed himself,
222
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:19,243
l thought, the garden's
just as good a place as any.
223
00:11:19,290 --> 00:11:22,566
And he loved that garden,
he loved it.
224
00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:27,559
He used to sit out there
and point where to plant things.
225
00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:31,319
Fell down the stairs?
l... l thought he had a heart attack.
226
00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:35,204
He did. He did. He did,
after he fell down the stairs.
227
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:38,322
l thought maybe l should've
done him a headstone,
228
00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:40,645
but it would've spoiled
the symmetry.
229
00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:42,521
l mean there wasn't any time.
230
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:45,960
l didn't even have time to take
off his jewellery.
231
00:11:46,010 --> 00:11:48,080
He didn't like me
to touch him anyway.
232
00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:51,327
That's why l can't wear gold.
233
00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:54,521
That's why l have to
wear fake or platinum. >
234
00:11:54,570 --> 00:11:58,119
Maybe l should have phoned someone
but l knew he was dead because
235
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,047
he didn't get up to watch The Sweeney.
236
00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,365
The Sweeney...
237
00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:04,321
What did Frank say? >
238
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:05,769
What did he say?
239
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:08,449
How much gold, Sheila?
240
00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:19,523
You look nice, Carol. l always
think animal prints suit you.
241
00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:21,447
Veronica's put you up
to this, hasn't she?
242
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:22,889
No, of course not.
243
00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:25,524
Hmm. Well, whatever it is
you're wanting, l'm not biting.
244
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,367
Hiya, Debbie. >
245
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:33,280
Doing a good trade on the confetti.
Waste not, fucking want not.
246
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:40,483
The thing is, it's not actually
me wanting something. lt's Sheila.
247
00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:45,558
She's stressed about the wedding and
she wants me to be her bridesmaid but...
248
00:12:45,610 --> 00:12:47,089
The answer's no.
249
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:49,325
Oh, go on, Carol, please.
250
00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:51,281
l'm not nicking you a dress.
251
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:53,605
l got cautioned the last time. >
252
00:12:53,650 --> 00:12:55,880
l can't take that chance again.
253
00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:00,843
All right, Yvonne?
Just a pack of gum for me.
254
00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:02,845
3.20.
255
00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:06,280
Take What You Want Day for
bearded ladies were last week, Carol.
256
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:13,729
Thank you.
257
00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,480
Why are you following me?
258
00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:23,567
l've got Racing Ninjas.
259
00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:25,487
Look, Brian, the thing is...
260
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,363
l don't want to be rude or anything.
261
00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:30,241
l'm just not really interested.
262
00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:33,282
lt's nothing personal or anything.
lt's just...
263
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:36,845
lt's all about chemicals in your
brain and you can't help those -
264
00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:39,404
who you've got them for
and who you haven't.
265
00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:42,283
And with you, l just haven't.
266
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:45,800
Sorry. No hard feelings, eh?
267
00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:49,399
You can have me skateboard
if you let me kiss ya.
268
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:53,007
l don't want a skateboard.
269
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,803
What l want is a bridesmaid dress.
270
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:01,969
Frank? Frank!
271
00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:07,568
What d'ya do that for?!
272
00:14:07,610 --> 00:14:09,919
She's buried him with a load of gold!
273
00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:12,643
He was covered in it!
Rings, watches, teeth.
274
00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:14,521
Must be worth a fortune.
275
00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:18,280
What the fuck's
that gotta do wi' me?
276
00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:20,048
We need to dig him up!
277
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:22,206
Dig? Are you off your f...
Dig him up?!
278
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:25,162
lt's not Brookside.
He's a dead person!
279
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:27,849
Well, exactly!
He don't need it, does he, eh?
280
00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:30,802
lt were years ago.
He'll only be a bag of bones.
281
00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:35,162
Oh, and what? You don't think
he's entitled to everlasting...
282
00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:36,962
you know, fucking whatsit?
283
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,968
A man's soul's has a right to
be left in peace, doesn't he,
284
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,602
or what is the world coming to?
285
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:44,881
You can say a few prayers
when you bury him again.
286
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,884
Come on, Frank.
287
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,568
Kev's cousin can fence it.
288
00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:52,282
All we need to do
289
00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:57,563
is get rid of Sheila for the night,
dig him up, split it 50/50.
290
00:14:57,610 --> 00:14:59,123
lt's yours by rights.
291
00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:01,843
Yeah, but... ls it?
292
00:15:01,890 --> 00:15:06,566
Yeah, course it is! Cos...well,
Sheldon were married to Sheila...
293
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:07,201
Yeah..
294
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:09,127
..which makes her his next of kin...
295
00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:11,843
..you're married to Sheila...
296
00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:15,678
Well, near enough,
so that makes you her...
297
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:17,686
l really need this money, Frank!
298
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:19,448
And don't pretend you don't.
299
00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:23,199
Money Sheila's spending on
this wedding. lt's payback.
300
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:26,765
That's better. Ooh, you're awake.
301
00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:28,724
Oh...
302
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,646
That was a bit hardcore.
303
00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:54,322
What time is it?
304
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,088
'Bout three.
305
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,569
Shit!
306
00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:19,522
Mandy, l'm here! l'm here now.
307
00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:20,525
Fuck you, Lip!
308
00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:23,642
Look, just let me take her.
l said l would.
309
00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:25,806
You said you'd be here at two!
310
00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:28,523
Just one afternoon out with me
friends, that's all l wanted!
311
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,559
Well, l'm here now.
312
00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:32,807
You're not reliable! l said l
didn't want you involved with her.
313
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:36,126
l said you'd get bored and
fuck me over, and you have!
314
00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:38,479
We don't need that
in our lives, Lip.
315
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,408
You're gonna end up like
your own fucking dad!
316
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,688
Mandy... !
317
00:16:55,730 --> 00:16:58,324
l thought we'd agreed
to make a go of it.
318
00:16:59,210 --> 00:17:00,848
Fuck!
319
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:04,045
Look, she'll calm down, Lip.
320
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:06,160
She's just pissed off with you.
321
00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:08,565
She's right, though, isn't she?
l fucked up.
322
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:12,159
OK, so tell her you're sorry and
tell her you'll make it up to her.
323
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:14,041
l don't wanna be like him.
324
00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:16,285
l wanna be a good dad.
325
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:19,163
Look, do you think... Well...
326
00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,963
What if l asked her
to move in wi' me?
327
00:17:22,010 --> 00:17:25,286
l'd be there for her all the time
and she'd know l mean it.
328
00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:26,922
l suppose.
329
00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:32,283
l could redecorate my room, do it how
she likes. That's commitment, isn't it?
330
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:33,524
Yeah.
331
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:44,484
Where d'you get this from?
332
00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:47,079
Wrong colour.
333
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:52,282
Party!
334
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:54,719
Come on, kid.
335
00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:56,203
Get t'music on, Frank.
336
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:57,683
< Party!
337
00:17:57,730 --> 00:17:59,243
ls it a hen night or something?
338
00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:00,689
Maybe we should invite
some of the others.
339
00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:02,402
No, we can do that later.
340
00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:06,409
We thought we'd have a celebration.
Get the girl a drink, Vee.
341
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:10,841
Whey-ey! Come on!
342
00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:16,447
(Stereo) l've got so much love to give
343
00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:20,369
l've got so much love to give
344
00:18:20,410 --> 00:18:24,198
l've got so much love to give...
345
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,478
Come on, Vee!
346
00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:28,761
l'm coming. Here we go, Sheila.
Chin chin.
347
00:18:29,850 --> 00:18:30,441
Cheers.
348
00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:31,559
Cheers.
349
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,488
l've got so much love
350
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,758
l've got so much love...
351
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:43,284
Where d'you get it from?
352
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,683
l stole it.
353
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,049
Where from?
354
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:49,480
Me dad works at a printers and
they make wedding invitations,
355
00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,998
so l know who's getting married.
356
00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:54,848
Don't cry...
Please stop crying, honey.
357
00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:55,959
You'll be all right.
358
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,285
We'll sort you out a dress.
You'll be fine.
359
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:04,205
So, Brian, how many more
weddings d'you know of?
360
00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:06,679
MUSlC: Dancing Queen by ABBA
361
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,402
Ooh, l love this one.
362
00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:10,839
l'm having such a lovely time!
363
00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:12,846
Dance with her, will ya?
364
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,085
Oh!
365
00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:16,802
Go on then, Sheila.
366
00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:27,002
(Stereo) You can dance...
367
00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:29,169
Come on.
368
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,689
There you go. Come on.
369
00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:33,563
Another one already?
370
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:37,808
Down in one... Go on! Go on!
371
00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:40,887
Go on. Go on, go on,
go on, go on, go on.
372
00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:46,568
Oh, thank fuck for that.
373
00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:48,168
How many did you give her?
374
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:49,404
Ten.
375
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,719
You don't think she's...?
376
00:19:56,770 --> 00:19:58,362
SNORES
377
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:04,287
That's the thing about women, see?
378
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:07,163
Devious. Like Alistair fucking Campbell.
379
00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:09,201
Tick, tick, tee-tee-tee.
380
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:13,402
Make out that there's nothing
going on, but inside...
381
00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:17,409
l mean, where's Kev while
you're here, eh, witching hour,
382
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,281
legs straddling a fucking corpse?
383
00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:22,606
At home in bed,
none the flaming wiser.
384
00:20:22,650 --> 00:20:25,722
More to the point,
where are you, Frank?
385
00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:28,079
You're meant to be fucking helping!
386
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:29,643
No, l can't go there.
387
00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:31,282
l'm getting flashbacks to me mam.
388
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:35,209
Anyway, you were a fucking nurse.
You're used to dead bod...
389
00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:40,599
Fucking hell, Frank!
l think l've found him.
390
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:46,247
Have a look. Can you see the gold?
391
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,486
Bloody hell!
392
00:20:59,770 --> 00:21:01,249
(Veronica) There's a watch, though.
393
00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:08,764
And some rings.
394
00:21:15,210 --> 00:21:17,599
Fuck...me.
395
00:21:24,890 --> 00:21:26,642
Jesus Christ on a bike!
396
00:21:29,850 --> 00:21:33,445
That was some
fucking fall down the stairs.
397
00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:41,920
MUSlC: Wedding March by Mendelssohn
398
00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:47,808
Here. Got you a double.
399
00:21:48,650 --> 00:21:50,561
''Dig him up,'' she said.
''Won't hurt anyone.''
400
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,682
No, you've not just found out you're
marrying Myra fucking Hindley.
401
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:56,119
Frank, l am just as freaked out
about this as you are.
402
00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:58,604
Oh, how's that work?!
Are you lying awake at 3am
403
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:01,767
wondering whether you're
gonna make it till breakfast time?
404
00:22:01,810 --> 00:22:03,038
Look. >
405
00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:09,563
This wouldn't normally be my first
port of call, but maybe we should
406
00:22:09,610 --> 00:22:12,966
think about going to the police.
You could say you were gardening...
407
00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:14,807
Hey! How come
suddenly it's all about me?!
408
00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:15,839
You're the one
who fucking dug him up.
409
00:22:15,890 --> 00:22:17,403
Frank!
410
00:22:17,450 --> 00:22:19,566
You wanna pull yourself together.
411
00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:22,204
There might be a perfectly
reasonable explanation.
412
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:24,366
For a fondue set in the ribs?!
413
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:26,685
What, he thought
''Oh, l'll try a bit of acupuncture
414
00:22:26,730 --> 00:22:28,083
''to cure the heart attack...
415
00:22:28,130 --> 00:22:30,724
''Oh dear, l've stabbed myself
to death''? l don't think so.
416
00:22:30,770 --> 00:22:34,763
lf you go to the police, we've lost
the gold, so shut up about it.
417
00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:38,005
When did you turn
into Lara Croft, Tomb Raider?
418
00:22:41,170 --> 00:22:42,842
Shit!
419
00:22:45,050 --> 00:22:50,170
Ooh, l've got a shocking head!
Didn't sleep properly last night.
420
00:22:50,210 --> 00:22:54,567
l was up and down like a yo-yo.
Sorry, am l interrupting something?
421
00:22:54,610 --> 00:22:56,840
No, we were just talking
about the wedding.
422
00:22:56,890 --> 00:22:59,848
- Frank's really looking forward to it.
- Oh, Frank, are you?
423
00:22:59,890 --> 00:23:02,529
Course l am, yeah.
424
00:23:02,570 --> 00:23:03,969
l've got my dress fitting today.
425
00:23:04,010 --> 00:23:05,079
Great.
426
00:23:05,130 --> 00:23:09,169
l've got a diamante bodice,
nylon tulle veil, modesty panel.
427
00:23:09,210 --> 00:23:14,000
l know you don't like looking after
the twins but l thought maybe for...
428
00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:17,486
Course l do!
No, don't be silly! Any time!
429
00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:18,599
- lt'd only be for an hour.
- Yeah.
430
00:23:18,650 --> 00:23:21,005
Don't question it, Sheila,
he might change his mind!
431
00:23:21,050 --> 00:23:23,041
Anyway, l've gotta shoot.
432
00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:25,046
Hey, Veronica!
433
00:23:25,090 --> 00:23:26,318
Have you got moles, then?
434
00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:29,209
You what, Lillian?
435
00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:33,368
Moles. Our Leslie saw you digging
in't garden. She lives over the back.
436
00:23:33,410 --> 00:23:37,323
No, Lillian, no, it's the diggers...
We got the builders in. lt's not us.
437
00:23:37,370 --> 00:23:40,646
lt was definitely you.
ln the night. She wanted to go.
438
00:23:40,690 --> 00:23:44,603
No, she must've been dreaming it.
Dreamt it. You know what she's like.
439
00:23:44,650 --> 00:23:46,686
Hang on. Sheila, come on darling.
440
00:23:46,730 --> 00:23:49,369
(Lillian) She did tell me it were you.
She knows yer house.
441
00:23:49,410 --> 00:23:52,447
Lillian! Hang on, love. Just go on,
darling, you enjoy yourself.
442
00:23:52,490 --> 00:23:54,799
She told me it were you,
she knows yer house.
443
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:57,205
Hey, your work on this planet is
finished, return to your own people.
444
00:23:57,250 --> 00:24:00,048
She don't tell lies. She saw yer.
445
00:24:10,170 --> 00:24:11,888
Fucking hell.
446
00:24:11,930 --> 00:24:15,923
No. No. No.
447
00:24:18,050 --> 00:24:20,245
Look, Lip, l told you.
448
00:24:20,290 --> 00:24:22,360
(Lip) Just come with us a minute.
449
00:24:22,410 --> 00:24:25,243
Debs, watch Katie.
450
00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:27,281
What we doing, Lip?
451
00:24:27,330 --> 00:24:29,764
You'll see in a minute.
452
00:24:29,810 --> 00:24:33,041
All right, you ready?
453
00:24:35,050 --> 00:24:36,039
Ta da!
454
00:24:39,930 --> 00:24:41,363
What's this meant to be?
455
00:24:41,410 --> 00:24:43,048
lt's for you.
456
00:24:43,090 --> 00:24:46,400
l thought if you moved in here,
l'll be around, won't l?
457
00:24:46,450 --> 00:24:47,439
Won't be able to forget things.
458
00:24:47,490 --> 00:24:50,243
Lip, a couple of coats of paint
aren't gonna solve anything.
459
00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:53,362
And what makes you think l'm
gonna move in here with you lot?
460
00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:55,560
lt's a fucking mad house.
461
00:24:55,610 --> 00:24:59,364
No offence,
but l'd rather eat me own sick.
462
00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,207
l don't understand you.
463
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,241
But l want it to work, Mandy.
464
00:25:04,290 --> 00:25:08,681
Yeah, so do l.
But it's us we've gotta sort out.
465
00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:10,561
The real stuff.
466
00:25:10,610 --> 00:25:12,089
Not some fucking paint job.
467
00:25:18,290 --> 00:25:19,928
l don't want to, Debbie.
468
00:25:19,970 --> 00:25:21,562
Brian! You said you'd help me.
469
00:25:21,610 --> 00:25:23,840
You said l could kiss you.
470
00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,450
Just help me get
the dress and l'll...
471
00:25:26,490 --> 00:25:28,048
Just one, OK? Here.
472
00:25:29,690 --> 00:25:32,762
On the mouth.
On the mouth or l'm not doing it.
473
00:25:33,850 --> 00:25:37,445
Just help me get the dress,
all right?
474
00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:46,763
Where'd you get it from?
475
00:25:46,810 --> 00:25:50,325
Oh, you know,
grave robbing, usual stuff!
476
00:25:50,370 --> 00:25:52,600
l'd put it back if l was you.
477
00:25:52,650 --> 00:25:56,848
- Eh?
- lt's fake. The lot of it. Ain't worth a penny.
478
00:26:05,970 --> 00:26:08,120
Come on then, let me see.
479
00:26:08,170 --> 00:26:09,649
All right, then.
480
00:26:09,690 --> 00:26:12,921
But make it quick. And if you
gob on me, l'll throw up on you.
481
00:26:16,930 --> 00:26:18,568
Well go on, then!
482
00:26:20,170 --> 00:26:22,206
l think you're horrible.
483
00:26:22,250 --> 00:26:24,445
You think you're really it
but you're not.
484
00:26:24,490 --> 00:26:27,641
You're just using me, and you
shouldn't do that cos it's wrong.
485
00:26:27,690 --> 00:26:30,409
l don't wanna kiss you.
l don't wanna see you ever again.
486
00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:43,207
Frank?
487
00:26:44,890 --> 00:26:46,608
Are you all right about tomorrow?
488
00:26:46,650 --> 00:26:48,800
l can't wait to be Mrs Gallagher.
489
00:26:52,450 --> 00:26:54,805
l think l'll just hit the hay,
Sheila.
490
00:27:06,690 --> 00:27:09,329
Just locking up for
the night, Frank. >
491
00:27:20,370 --> 00:27:21,564
Frank?
492
00:27:23,370 --> 00:27:26,601
Yeah, just in here, love.
493
00:27:27,850 --> 00:27:31,001
Frank, are you all right, love?
494
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,962
Yeah, just...you know...
495
00:27:36,570 --> 00:27:38,208
ls there something wrong?
496
00:27:39,530 --> 00:27:41,441
Frank? >
497
00:27:42,410 --> 00:27:43,968
What Lillian said...
498
00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:46,729
Were you digging? >
499
00:27:50,370 --> 00:27:52,088
Did you dig him up?!
500
00:27:53,530 --> 00:27:55,839
Sorry, love. Can't hear you.
501
00:27:57,530 --> 00:27:59,043
Did you dig him up?!
502
00:28:00,610 --> 00:28:01,759
Did you dig him up?
503
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:04,289
Did you dig him up, Frank?
504
00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:25,647
Hey, erm...
505
00:28:25,690 --> 00:28:26,805
< Veronica.
506
00:28:26,850 --> 00:28:29,444
You've heard, haven't you?
507
00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:31,208
From the hospital.
508
00:28:31,250 --> 00:28:34,128
lt's not good news, is it?
509
00:28:34,170 --> 00:28:37,082
No.
510
00:28:37,130 --> 00:28:40,839
Oh, look, l'm really sorry.
511
00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:42,164
l just didn't know how to tell you.
512
00:28:42,210 --> 00:28:43,359
You're all right.
513
00:28:43,410 --> 00:28:44,729
< Veronica!
514
00:28:44,770 --> 00:28:46,567
Veronica!
515
00:28:46,610 --> 00:28:48,202
For fuck's sake!
516
00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,729
Mind your feet! >
517
00:28:49,770 --> 00:28:52,284
What the fuck are you
playing at, Frank?!
518
00:28:53,410 --> 00:28:54,399
Let me in!
519
00:28:54,450 --> 00:28:56,281
You've just broken
the fucking window!
520
00:28:56,330 --> 00:29:00,482
Look... l need the
money from the gold.
521
00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:02,088
What fucking gold?!
522
00:29:02,130 --> 00:29:03,245
You've done what?!
523
00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:05,121
He were fucking dead anyway!
524
00:29:05,170 --> 00:29:07,365
Correction - murdered. How much?
525
00:29:07,410 --> 00:29:09,719
- Hey, you what?!
- Sheila murdered him. So?
526
00:29:09,770 --> 00:29:11,886
- She murdered him? You're joking.
- Wish l fucking was, mate.
527
00:29:11,930 --> 00:29:14,524
Well, Frank, it was a big fat zero
cos it's all fake,
528
00:29:14,570 --> 00:29:16,322
so fucking tough shit on both of us.
529
00:29:16,370 --> 00:29:17,689
So l dug up that
body up for nothing?
530
00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:19,925
You didn't dig him up, l fucking did!
531
00:29:19,970 --> 00:29:22,530
That gold was my
get out of jail free card!
532
00:29:22,570 --> 00:29:25,004
How the hell am l gonna
get away from her now?!
533
00:29:25,050 --> 00:29:28,679
- Whoa, what you on about?
- She knows! Fucking Lillian,
534
00:29:28,730 --> 00:29:31,005
fucking...
And now she's gonna kill me.
535
00:29:31,050 --> 00:29:34,565
No, it's not fucking funny!
You didn't see her with that spade.
536
00:29:34,610 --> 00:29:37,044
They get a taste for it, don't they?
l've seen Crimewatch.
537
00:29:37,090 --> 00:29:41,208
(Veronica) - Oh, for fuck's sake!
- What the hell am l gonna do now?!
538
00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:43,605
l'm gonna have to stay here
while l get me head together.
539
00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:45,368
You are joking. Over my dead body!
540
00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:48,720
lt's me darkest hour, Veronica!
Me dream wedding in tatters.
541
00:29:48,770 --> 00:29:51,921
Me kids are not taking pity on me.
Lip's already thrown me out.
542
00:29:51,970 --> 00:29:53,688
Well, tell it to Oprah! Now fuck off!
543
00:29:57,450 --> 00:30:01,125
Veronica, you can't do this
to me, l'm a marked man!
544
00:30:01,170 --> 00:30:03,525
You got me into this! Veronica!
545
00:30:03,570 --> 00:30:05,083
Go home, Frank!
546
00:30:09,010 --> 00:30:09,999
Piss!
547
00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:14,087
l don't believe you!
548
00:30:14,130 --> 00:30:16,325
l know. Don't.
549
00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:18,122
What were you thinking?!
550
00:30:18,170 --> 00:30:24,564
l thought we could use
the money to...for lVF.
551
00:30:24,610 --> 00:30:26,965
l know how much you want it, Kev.
552
00:30:27,010 --> 00:30:29,649
Oh, you...
553
00:30:29,690 --> 00:30:31,169
Come here, you daft cow.
554
00:30:34,610 --> 00:30:38,683
Hey, not many blokes could say their
wife'd go grave robbing for 'em.
555
00:30:38,730 --> 00:30:40,721
Ooh, it were horrible and all.
556
00:30:40,770 --> 00:30:42,408
And he stank!
557
00:30:42,450 --> 00:30:43,644
Ooh.
558
00:30:43,690 --> 00:30:45,760
Look, Vee,
559
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:48,643
we're all right.
We don't need no-one else.
560
00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:54,364
Hey, but we don't need
to be trying for a baby...
561
00:30:55,930 --> 00:30:57,488
..to have sex, do we?
562
00:30:57,530 --> 00:30:58,929
No!
563
00:30:58,970 --> 00:31:00,449
Let us in, then!
564
00:31:15,210 --> 00:31:16,484
Frank?
565
00:31:26,570 --> 00:31:27,764
Frank?
566
00:31:29,210 --> 00:31:32,327
Are you there, love?
567
00:31:32,930 --> 00:31:36,286
Carl...is your dad there?
568
00:31:36,330 --> 00:31:37,968
No. Why?
569
00:31:38,010 --> 00:31:39,159
l think he's left me.
570
00:31:39,210 --> 00:31:40,689
Hey, give over, Sheila.
571
00:31:40,730 --> 00:31:43,688
He's...he's probably with...
572
00:31:43,730 --> 00:31:47,040
He's probably out
with Kev somewhere, isn't he?
573
00:31:47,090 --> 00:31:49,320
Getting ready and that.
574
00:31:49,370 --> 00:31:52,328
lt's bad luck to see you on
your wedding day, in't it?
575
00:31:52,370 --> 00:31:55,965
Look, why don't you go home?
576
00:31:56,010 --> 00:31:58,365
Don't worry, we'll find him.
577
00:32:00,610 --> 00:32:01,599
l'll get him.
578
00:32:04,530 --> 00:32:07,488
What the fuck are you doing, Frank?
lt's your wedding day.
579
00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:10,408
You can't just disappear.
She's in pieces.
580
00:32:10,450 --> 00:32:12,805
Yeah, but what about me?
581
00:32:12,850 --> 00:32:15,000
l'm a hunted man!
582
00:32:15,050 --> 00:32:18,042
She's got a fucking spade, Veronica!
583
00:32:18,090 --> 00:32:21,924
lf you're not gonna marry her, Frank,
you have gotta tell her.
584
00:32:21,970 --> 00:32:24,609
Sort him out, will you?
l'm going to Sheila's.
585
00:32:26,610 --> 00:32:28,202
Come on, knobhead.
586
00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:31,879
All right, so you dig up this
bloke and she's killed him, right?
587
00:32:31,930 --> 00:32:35,206
Yeah, and who's to say
he's not the only one?
588
00:32:35,250 --> 00:32:39,129
Remember...Eddie The Owl?
589
00:32:39,170 --> 00:32:41,161
Fucking missionary work?
590
00:32:41,210 --> 00:32:43,724
ln Africa? Or six feet under?
591
00:32:43,770 --> 00:32:45,886
What's the more likely, eh?
592
00:32:45,930 --> 00:32:48,285
Look, the only reason you
know about Sheldon
593
00:32:48,330 --> 00:32:50,798
is cos she told you.
What's she gonna tell you for
594
00:32:50,850 --> 00:32:52,920
if she's planning on
giving you the same?
595
00:32:52,970 --> 00:32:54,881
Well, it's a double bluff, in't it?
596
00:32:54,930 --> 00:32:56,488
Plus, she had no choice.
597
00:32:56,530 --> 00:32:59,920
No, that's bollocks, Frank.
The reason she told you
598
00:32:59,970 --> 00:33:01,528
is because she trusts you.
599
00:33:01,570 --> 00:33:04,209
That woman, she wouldn't
lay a finger on you.
600
00:33:04,250 --> 00:33:08,448
Fuck knows why, but she thinks
the sun shines out of your arse.
601
00:33:08,490 --> 00:33:11,288
But she's still
a fucking murderer, Kev.
602
00:33:11,330 --> 00:33:12,558
l'm not marrying her.
603
00:33:17,010 --> 00:33:18,807
lt's beautiful, in't it?
604
00:33:18,850 --> 00:33:20,568
l thought l might as well put it on,
605
00:33:20,610 --> 00:33:22,919
though l don't s'pose
l'll be needing it now.
606
00:33:22,970 --> 00:33:23,959
Hey now, come on. Enough of that.
607
00:33:24,010 --> 00:33:27,605
He knows, doesn't he?
He knows about Sheldon.
608
00:33:27,650 --> 00:33:28,878
l'm sorry, Sheila...
609
00:33:28,930 --> 00:33:30,921
He used to hit me.
610
00:33:30,970 --> 00:33:33,723
lf everything wasn't
just so, he used to...
611
00:33:33,770 --> 00:33:37,319
lt was like he was looking
for things to find fault with.
612
00:33:37,370 --> 00:33:42,000
Like, if his records weren't stacked
neatly or if l had a button undone.
613
00:33:42,050 --> 00:33:44,644
Sheldon fucking beat you?
614
00:33:44,690 --> 00:33:47,158
l was young.
You think you deserve it, don't you?
615
00:33:47,210 --> 00:33:51,886
You don't know any better.
lt was the gold that was the worst.
616
00:33:51,930 --> 00:33:53,522
He used to burn me with it,
617
00:33:53,570 --> 00:33:56,403
pattern marks all up and
down me arms and legs.
618
00:34:04,930 --> 00:34:08,400
And if l cried,
he'd punch me in the face.
619
00:34:08,450 --> 00:34:12,807
Battered me once, put
me in hospital for a month.
620
00:34:12,850 --> 00:34:14,329
Why didn't anybody stop him?
621
00:34:14,370 --> 00:34:16,042
Why didn't you go to the police?
622
00:34:16,090 --> 00:34:19,127
l did, but they used to pretend
they couldn't see the marks.
623
00:34:19,170 --> 00:34:21,161
They just used to
say, ''There, there,''
624
00:34:21,210 --> 00:34:23,405
give me a boiled sweet
and send me home.
625
00:34:23,450 --> 00:34:26,169
They used to call it a
domestic in those days.
626
00:34:26,210 --> 00:34:28,519
They didn't wanna get involved.
627
00:34:28,570 --> 00:34:30,765
lt was always gobstoppers.
628
00:34:30,810 --> 00:34:33,404
Can't stand the sight of them now.
629
00:34:35,970 --> 00:34:41,124
And then one night, he was coming at me
with the medallion.
630
00:34:42,170 --> 00:34:44,001
l just went...
631
00:34:51,210 --> 00:34:53,565
l didn't plan any of it.
632
00:34:53,610 --> 00:34:55,362
Oh, Sheila. What a bastard!
633
00:34:55,410 --> 00:34:58,880
l can't believe you've
never told us before!
634
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,205
He deserved everything he got then.
635
00:35:01,250 --> 00:35:03,320
You mustn't waste
another breath on him.
636
00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:05,088
But Frank's gone, Veronica.
637
00:35:05,130 --> 00:35:06,802
Because of me.
Because of what l've done.
638
00:35:06,850 --> 00:35:08,283
Hey now, come on, that's...
639
00:35:08,330 --> 00:35:11,879
Do you think maybe if l
confessed, do you think
640
00:35:11,930 --> 00:35:13,488
maybe Frank could forgive me?
641
00:35:13,530 --> 00:35:15,248
l know he doesn't love me any more,
642
00:35:15,290 --> 00:35:17,406
but if he could forgive me, that
would be something, wouldn't it?
643
00:35:17,450 --> 00:35:20,010
You are not getting yourself
644
00:35:20,050 --> 00:35:22,769
banged up for the likes of Sheldon.
He was a monster.
645
00:35:22,810 --> 00:35:23,845
But for Frank. >
646
00:35:23,890 --> 00:35:28,566
He's the best thing that's ever
happened to me!
647
00:35:28,610 --> 00:35:31,078
l'm gonna turn myself in.
648
00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:41,600
Oi! Having a nice time, are yer?
649
00:35:41,650 --> 00:35:43,606
While your fiancee's
gone to turn herself in?
650
00:35:45,890 --> 00:35:47,767
lf you can't do the time...
651
00:35:47,810 --> 00:35:52,486
For the murder of a bloke who
beat her to a fucking pulp!
652
00:35:52,530 --> 00:35:55,124
Oi! Where the fuck you going?!
653
00:35:55,170 --> 00:35:57,161
Empty house.
Gonna keep meself company.
654
00:35:58,730 --> 00:36:01,369
For fuck's sake, Frank, he used
to burn her fucking arms
655
00:36:01,450 --> 00:36:04,010
with a medallion! How
much more convincing do you need?!
656
00:36:04,050 --> 00:36:06,883
l am not fucking joking, Frank!
657
00:36:06,930 --> 00:36:10,400
You can't let her go through
with this! She'll go to prison!
658
00:36:10,450 --> 00:36:13,283
She's only confessing cos she thinks
it's what you want!
659
00:36:16,090 --> 00:36:17,682
Fucking hell.
660
00:36:17,730 --> 00:36:18,719
What?
661
00:36:18,770 --> 00:36:21,079
Mr and Mrs Gallagher.
662
00:36:21,130 --> 00:36:24,725
She's opened a fucking joint account
for you.
663
00:36:42,850 --> 00:36:46,320
What's he doing?! Get off!
What you doing?!
664
00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:56,047
For fuck's sake!
665
00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,440
Sergeant.
666
00:37:31,490 --> 00:37:33,208
Thank you.
667
00:37:36,850 --> 00:37:39,080
Blimey, look at you, Sheila!
668
00:37:39,130 --> 00:37:41,769
Ah, the twins have grown, eh?
669
00:37:41,810 --> 00:37:43,528
< Yeah, they have.
670
00:37:43,570 --> 00:37:46,289
So, what can we do for you?
671
00:37:46,330 --> 00:37:47,968
You come to report a crime?
What is it?
672
00:37:48,010 --> 00:37:50,444
Frank wants to wear his
Hawaiian shirt for the wedding?!
673
00:37:50,490 --> 00:37:52,526
No.
674
00:37:53,570 --> 00:37:54,844
< l've come to confess...
675
00:37:56,090 --> 00:37:58,320
..to a murder.
676
00:38:02,170 --> 00:38:03,398
l'm sorry.
677
00:38:07,450 --> 00:38:10,840
Sheila, you don't have
to marry Frank if you
678
00:38:10,890 --> 00:38:12,881
don't want to. You don't
have to go making up stories.
679
00:38:12,930 --> 00:38:14,807
No, l do! l really do.
680
00:38:14,850 --> 00:38:17,683
lt's just cos
of the conservatory, you see?
681
00:38:20,410 --> 00:38:21,968
All right.
682
00:38:22,010 --> 00:38:23,728
Maybe we should, erm...
683
00:38:23,770 --> 00:38:24,839
We'll get you a cup of tea.
684
00:38:24,890 --> 00:38:27,358
Yeah, that'd be lovely.
685
00:38:27,410 --> 00:38:29,924
With Demerara, if you've got it.
686
00:38:31,370 --> 00:38:33,088
- Gob-stopper?
- No.
687
00:38:33,130 --> 00:38:36,247
Whoa, Neddy!
Hold the fucking horses.
688
00:38:36,370 --> 00:38:39,089
Whatever she's saying
it's not true, right?!
689
00:38:39,130 --> 00:38:41,849
lt's just pre-wedding
jitters, isn't it?
690
00:38:46,930 --> 00:38:51,481
Can l just have a couple
of minutes with her on me own?
691
00:38:56,090 --> 00:38:59,446
Sheila!
What you doing, you daft mare?!
692
00:38:59,490 --> 00:39:03,244
l know you know about him,
what l've done,
693
00:39:03,290 --> 00:39:05,724
so l thought l'd come
and get it off me chest.
694
00:39:05,770 --> 00:39:07,806
What you talking about?
695
00:39:07,850 --> 00:39:11,320
He was a brute, wasn't he?
Veronica told me.
696
00:39:11,370 --> 00:39:13,964
He deserved everything he got.
697
00:39:14,010 --> 00:39:16,365
lf l'd have got to him
first, l'd have done it!
698
00:39:16,410 --> 00:39:19,208
lf anyone lays
a fucking finger on you...
699
00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:21,889
Frank, you'd gone
because of what l'd done.
700
00:39:21,930 --> 00:39:23,249
No!
701
00:39:23,290 --> 00:39:26,726
Well, yeah, but it was just...
702
00:39:28,290 --> 00:39:30,008
You know, just a...
703
00:39:30,050 --> 00:39:35,841
moment of cold feet!
Just a normal kind of blokes' thing.
704
00:39:35,890 --> 00:39:39,166
l got a bit...
Anyway, the point is, l'm here now!
705
00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:43,169
Why don't we just go home, eh?
706
00:39:43,890 --> 00:39:48,168
To tell you the truth,
you finding out's quite a weight off.
707
00:39:49,730 --> 00:39:53,086
l've been giving it a lot of thought,
and l've thought
708
00:39:53,130 --> 00:39:56,247
maybe all this trouble
l've had over the last few years,
709
00:39:56,290 --> 00:40:00,681
you know, the pills and everything,
maybe it's cos of the guilt.
710
00:40:02,410 --> 00:40:04,878
l think l need to be punished.
711
00:40:06,810 --> 00:40:09,563
Sheila, you have
712
00:40:09,610 --> 00:40:11,965
served your time.
713
00:40:14,970 --> 00:40:16,961
ln here.
714
00:40:18,970 --> 00:40:22,519
So what good's it gonna do?
lt's not gonna bring him back, is it?
715
00:40:22,570 --> 00:40:27,246
- But Frank...
- l'll tell you something, if you go to prison...
716
00:40:27,290 --> 00:40:30,123
lf you go to prison,
717
00:40:30,170 --> 00:40:32,206
you will kill another man,
718
00:40:32,250 --> 00:40:34,400
because...
719
00:40:36,850 --> 00:40:39,523
l will die of a broken heart.
720
00:40:42,530 --> 00:40:45,203
Frank, do you really mean that?
721
00:40:46,810 --> 00:40:49,005
Do l?
722
00:40:59,810 --> 00:41:01,766
A man
723
00:41:01,810 --> 00:41:04,324
without a woman...
724
00:41:09,610 --> 00:41:11,168
Sheila Jackson...
725
00:41:15,130 --> 00:41:19,806
..will you do me
the great thingy
726
00:41:19,850 --> 00:41:23,559
of being my wife?
727
00:41:23,610 --> 00:41:25,566
Oh, yes!
728
00:41:26,570 --> 00:41:28,765
Yes, course l will!
729
00:41:28,810 --> 00:41:30,801
Of course l will!
730
00:41:34,130 --> 00:41:36,519
Let's get the fuck
out of this place, then.
731
00:41:45,410 --> 00:41:47,719
Well, you don't scrub up bad.
732
00:41:47,770 --> 00:41:50,238
l didn't think you were coming.
733
00:41:50,290 --> 00:41:52,201
Wouldn't miss this, would l?
734
00:41:52,250 --> 00:41:56,038
l got me mum to mind Katie.
So, it's just me and you today.
735
00:41:56,090 --> 00:41:58,604
lf we can remember how to do that.
736
00:41:58,650 --> 00:42:01,881
Course we can. Come on.
737
00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:03,725
You got a buttonhole, Marty?
738
00:42:03,770 --> 00:42:05,123
Nick a cock in it!
739
00:42:05,170 --> 00:42:06,842
Hiya, Karen.
740
00:42:06,890 --> 00:42:08,323
Hiya, Sue.
741
00:42:08,370 --> 00:42:09,849
Here you are, love.
742
00:42:11,450 --> 00:42:15,648
ln a civil service, we don't
make vows of a religious nature.
743
00:42:15,690 --> 00:42:17,760
Thank fuck.
744
00:42:17,810 --> 00:42:19,528
But we pledge our love,
honour and respect
745
00:42:19,570 --> 00:42:23,279
in a way that's just as deeply binding.
746
00:42:23,330 --> 00:42:27,084
Come on, get to the good bit!
''Do you, Vernon Francis Gallagher...''
747
00:42:27,130 --> 00:42:28,927
Join in if you know the words.
748
00:42:28,970 --> 00:42:30,403
Do you...
749
00:42:30,450 --> 00:42:35,001
(All) ..Vernon Francis Gallagher,
take Sheila Jackson to be
750
00:42:35,050 --> 00:42:38,326
your lawfully wedded wife?
751
00:42:38,650 --> 00:42:40,606
l do!
752
00:42:40,650 --> 00:42:44,086
And do you, Sheila Jackson...
753
00:42:44,130 --> 00:42:49,250
(All) ..take Vernon Francis Gallagher
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
754
00:42:49,290 --> 00:42:51,850
Yes! Yeah! l'm guilty!
755
00:42:51,890 --> 00:42:54,165
Hurray! Here's the ring!
756
00:42:56,650 --> 00:43:00,438
l now pronounce you husband and wife.
757
00:43:00,490 --> 00:43:02,560
Wahey!
758
00:43:04,850 --> 00:43:06,329
< Way to go, Frank!
759
00:43:06,370 --> 00:43:10,363
Congratulations and celebrations
760
00:43:10,410 --> 00:43:16,087
When l tell everyone
that you're in love with me
761
00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:20,999
Congratulations
and jubilations...
762
00:43:21,050 --> 00:43:23,086
Hey. l'm glad you came through.
763
00:43:23,130 --> 00:43:25,439
Well, l could hardly
let her down, could l?
764
00:43:25,490 --> 00:43:28,448
Anyway, l got to thinking,
l never got the divorce through
765
00:43:28,490 --> 00:43:31,960
from Monica in the end,
so it's not legal, anyway.
766
00:43:44,650 --> 00:43:46,641
< Mr and Mrs Gallagher.
767
00:43:49,090 --> 00:43:52,480
(Frank) 'So, l've got a new joke.
What does ''bigamy'' mean?
768
00:43:52,530 --> 00:43:54,202
'One wife too many.
769
00:43:54,250 --> 00:43:57,048
'And ''monogamy''? Same fucking thing.
770
00:43:57,090 --> 00:43:59,365
'But if you've gotta
have a ball and chain,
771
00:43:59,410 --> 00:44:01,401
'Sheila's the woman for the job.
772
00:44:01,450 --> 00:44:05,363
'lf we ever fall on hard times,
we can send her out as a contract killer.
773
00:44:05,410 --> 00:44:08,402
'So, like the chief Roman
said, ''Veni, vidi, vol-au-vent.''
774
00:44:08,450 --> 00:44:10,168
'Let's have a fucking party!'
775
00:44:10,218 --> 00:44:14,768
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