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1
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:14,053
- Monica...
- Who's Monica?
2
00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:17,249
- Mum...
- Mum?
3
00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:21,049
She looks absolutely beautiful.
I miss her.
4
00:00:21,140 --> 00:00:23,813
- Marry me.
- You know I've got a boyfriend.
5
00:00:24,820 --> 00:00:27,288
Two grand's worth of debt
and still rising!
6
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:30,372
- 'Where is he? '
- 'We have got bailiffs front and back.'
7
00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:33,770
'Do you know your new name, Frank?
Dead Man Walking.'
8
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:36,772
Mr Wilson, Housing Officer.
9
00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:41,251
You won't get away with that one
cos I'll haunt you for every last penny,
10
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,171
- madam.
- (Screaming)
11
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:47,048
He's no more help than you. We'd have
been better off without both of you.
12
00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:49,017
Over to you... Mum!
13
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,931
Your house. Drive.
14
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:57,569
'Nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate
is the Garden of Eden
15
00:00:57,660 --> 00:01:01,539
'but it's been a good home to us,
to me, Frank Gallagher,
16
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:05,295
'and me kids, who I'm proud of,
17
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:08,292
'cos every one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
18
00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:10,575
'They can all think for themselves
19
00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:12,616
'which they've me to thank for.'
20
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:14,019
Run for it!
21
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:16,898
'Fiona, who's a massive help.
22
00:01:16,980 --> 00:01:21,895
'Lip's a bit of a gobshite, which is
why nobody calls him Phillip any more.
23
00:01:21,980 --> 00:01:24,699
'Lan is like his mam,
which is handy for the others
24
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,611
'cos she's vanished into thin air.
25
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:29,373
'We daren't let Carl
grow his hair for two reasons.
26
00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:33,453
'One, it stands on end and makes
him look like Toyah. Two, nits love him.
27
00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:36,577
'Debbie! Sent by God. Total angel.
28
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:40,573
'You've to check your change,
but she'll always do you a favour.
29
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,379
'Plus Liam! Gonna be a star.
30
00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:46,736
'Once we've got the fits under control.
31
00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:49,050
'Steve - Fiona's boyfriend.
32
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:52,496
'The truth is out there. Not.
33
00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:55,134
'Fantastic neighbours -
Kev and Veronica.
34
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:57,415
'Lend you anything. Well, not anything.
35
00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:01,288
'But all of 'em, to a man,
know first and foremost
36
00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:04,292
'one of the most vital necessities
in this life
37
00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:07,497
'is they know how to throw a party!
38
00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:09,775
'Heh-heh-heh-heh! Scatter! '
39
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,776
(Wailing)
40
00:02:13,860 --> 00:02:17,773
(Frank) 'I've dreamt about lesbians
for as long as I can remember
41
00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:22,138
'but I bet I'm the only bloke who,
when his best wish gets granted,
42
00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:25,929
'has to accept that the only lezzer
he'll ever get his hands on
43
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:28,295
'is his ex-wife.
44
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:32,293
'Not only is she not in the sack
with Olivia Newton-John,
45
00:02:32,380 --> 00:02:35,929
'she's picked an oppo
who's bigger and stronger than I am
46
00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:37,976
'and earns more than I ever could.'
47
00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:41,335
(Carl) Mum, come and make
the breakfast.
48
00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:45,376
Jesus. Oh, my God.
49
00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:48,258
- Y'all right, Norm?
- No, summat just moved.
50
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:52,333
- God, it is. It's a bloody rat!
- Don't be daft. It'll be the wind.
51
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,376
(Squeaking)
52
00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:56,496
So what's this?
53
00:02:56,580 --> 00:02:58,810
A fart in a fur?
54
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,693
(Debbie)
Mum, we're gonna be late for school!
55
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:07,578
You cannot tread backwards, Monica.
56
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:09,491
You don't belong here.
57
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:17,810
(Frank) 'The day I married Monica
was the happiest day of my life.
58
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:21,893
'The day she left me
looking after six kids, I thought,
59
00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:25,529
"'Right, fuck her."
The day she reappears after three years
60
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:29,408
'I just thought, "Absolutely.
Go on, Frank. Fuck her."'
61
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,776
You spent the last three years
burying all this.
62
00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:34,612
There you go, love.
63
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:37,817
Oh, I can't eat eggs.
I'm allergic. They're Carl's.
64
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,970
Carl! Your tits are ready!
65
00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:43,814
- You never used to be allergic to eggs.
- I almost died from 'em.
66
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:47,051
Your mum's trying to have
a conversation here.
67
00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:49,096
We can do our own breakfast.
68
00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:52,490
- If you want privacy, go back in the van.
- It stinks!
69
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:55,378
- Never used to.
- I've just killed a rat that size.
70
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,815
- Haven't I, Mon?
- Yeah.
71
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:01,692
What size?
72
00:04:05,020 --> 00:04:07,170
What colour?
73
00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:28,452
Who in their right mind
keeps a rat as a pet?
74
00:04:34,660 --> 00:04:37,015
Pack up. We're going back to Moston.
75
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,216
It's like Village Of The Damned.
76
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,895
- Who else will look after 'em?
- Never bothered you before.
77
00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:45,335
Well, Fiona was here before.
78
00:04:49,820 --> 00:04:54,814
I'm not asking for a court report, only
if she sorted the school uniform out.
79
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,494
Yes, cos lan nipped round with the milk.
80
00:04:57,580 --> 00:05:02,290
- So Monica hasn't abandoned the kids?
- It was all kosher when I popped round.
81
00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:07,056
Even Carl's? If he forgets his tie
one more time, they'll suspend him.
82
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,576
- Oi! I'm trying to have a life here!
- 'Oh, fine.'
83
00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:13,413
I'll go round and check in three minutes.
84
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,856
Make sure the kids have all got
my number and enough cash.
85
00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:19,215
Shall I do the washing-up as well?
86
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,211
- I'm being serious.
- 'And me brief.'
87
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,655
Ring us back in... half an hour or so.
88
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,049
What are they like?
89
00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:29,052
Be quick.
I want to check Carl's got his tie.
90
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,096
Aye, hang on. That's it.
91
00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:33,535
Oh, Kev! Oh!
92
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:42,215
- (Whirring)
- (Frank) # Sunshine on a rainy day
93
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:46,615
♪ Sunshine on a rainy day ♪
94
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,136
(Hairdryer off)
95
00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:09,616
Yeah, you're right. It fits.
96
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:12,772
A month ago,
you said you wouldn't be seen dead in it.
97
00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:16,170
Can't you take a joke?
I'm going for a paper. Owt you want?
98
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:21,050
Yeah, get us enough for an overdose.
Tell the chemist I'll pay him later.
99
00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:23,893
Joke! Just practising.
100
00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:26,335
Hey, and a good 'un.
101
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,092
See you later.
102
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,774
I usually get a kiss.
103
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:44,612
(lmaginary birds screeching)
104
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,934
(Frank) Kev, see if
anyone's looking for us.
105
00:07:32,860 --> 00:07:35,215
- Watch. Watch.
- (Phone bleeping)
106
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,536
Two bailiffs, six o'clock.
107
00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:47,169
- Is that front or back?
- Back, back. So be sharp.
108
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,216
And watch out for Wilson.
109
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,734
It's the shirt I'm feeling sorry for.
110
00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:57,777
It's not my fault
he's getting a stiffy for his ex.
111
00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:59,816
Best not be either.
112
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:33,215
Hughesy! Hughesy, come here.
113
00:08:37,540 --> 00:08:39,815
Michael, over.
114
00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:45,969
Monica? Frank wants to see you.
115
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:55,132
Don't dribble on that.
You're not keeping it.
116
00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:58,450
Not you! Where's Monica?
117
00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:02,374
Two reasons why Monica'll
never make it home - size doesn't matter
118
00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:04,974
and it's just a blister. It'll fade.
119
00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:08,496
Day we wed,
it was till death do us part.
120
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,218
- If that's a threat...
- No.
121
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,929
It's just a promise that she made me
on our wedding day.
122
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,773
Are these dead, fellas?
123
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:21,411
Here, chick. Fetch us a couple of bevvies
and whatever Worzel's having.
124
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:25,971
Pint of Dog, cheese and onion pie
and some more nuts. She's paying.
125
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,893
More nuts? In your dreams, daddio.
126
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:30,732
That's a good 'un.
127
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,051
- Is he allowed all this?
- Frank thinks I owe him big style
128
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,700
- so he can have what he wants.
- And two Es.
129
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,416
Two years ago
130
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,856
we rescued a woman and her kids
from a total psycho.
131
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:54,534
I'm not fucking interested.
132
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:57,498
She'd have been dead now
if we hadn't killed her.
133
00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:01,776
Cos of him, she owed thousands.
134
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:05,489
And she walked away
without so much as a paper bill.
135
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:09,459
All we needed was one official agency
to list her as dead.
136
00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:12,737
Within a week,
it all went as quiet as a mouse for her.
137
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:16,813
No debts, no bailiffs, no hassle...
138
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,856
just like that.
139
00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:20,896
Imagine that, Frank.
140
00:10:20,980 --> 00:10:24,370
You pretend to be dead,
but your debts die for real.
141
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:32,292
Actually, Sheila,
142
00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:36,089
we've had complaints about noise
from the neighbours.
143
00:10:36,180 --> 00:10:38,136
You having a bit of trouble?
144
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:42,132
Frank's ex coming round
shouting the odds.
145
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:47,374
They haven't seen each other for a bit
so they'd a lot to say, as it happens.
146
00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:55,893
You and Fiona,
you're as mad as each other.
147
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:59,734
You'll spend your lives
cleaning up after Frank. Is he worth that?
148
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:03,938
I'd give my right arm to spend my life
cleaning up after Frank.
149
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:07,976
- Have you met Monica?
- No.
150
00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:12,099
Cracking on, she's a lesbian.
I saw the way she looked at him.
151
00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:16,776
- Fiona's mum's a lesbian?
- Not for long, she's not. You watch.
152
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:26,329
Hey, hey... Here y'are.
153
00:11:26,420 --> 00:11:29,093
I can't see anybody fighting over Frank.
154
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:31,535
I would if I could.
155
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:34,851
She's got her feet back under the table
at Fiona's
156
00:11:34,940 --> 00:11:37,898
except it's not Fiona's
cos she's forced her out.
157
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:41,097
- What? Fiona's gone?
- No choice. She's gone to live...
158
00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:42,932
- Where's she gone?
- Aaargh!
159
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:45,295
- Aaaarghh, Michael!
- What?
160
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:47,018
(Screaming)
161
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,694
- What've you done to her?
- Tissue!
162
00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:51,850
- It's there in your hand.
- I know!
163
00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:53,692
I wiped me eyes!
164
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,611
Chillies! Cooking with chillies!
165
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,009
- I can't see!
- Bring her to the sink!
166
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,331
- Let's have a look.
- Don't touch her if you held the towel!
167
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:04,571
- I'm blind!
- Here you are, this way. This way.
168
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:06,298
Rest on t'wall.
169
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,450
Come into the kitchen. Sheila!
170
00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:10,770
(Sheila screaming)
171
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:13,294
Here y'are, slam this over your fa...
172
00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:20,938
- (Shrieking hysterically)
- Over here, Sheila.
173
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,458
Oh, my God!
174
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:25,371
- Where am I?
- Home.
175
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:28,133
- Chatsworth Estate.
- Where am I standing?
176
00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:29,539
Garden.
177
00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:08,178
(Birds singing)
178
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:17,135
I did it.
179
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:19,176
I went outside.
180
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:23,139
- Where's Fiona gone?
- Five years.
181
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,939
"She's gone to live round..."
182
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,214
Steve's.
183
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:35,536
- Oh, God. I think I'm going to faint.
- No, you're fine, Mrs Jackson.
184
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:37,451
I know...
185
00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:39,417
(Thudding)
186
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,616
Well, how does it work, then?
187
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,975
Two teams of girls.
We've done it for years.
188
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:46,574
A Team deals with deaths and overseas.
189
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,016
B Team specialises
in "domestic" manoeuvres.
190
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:55,333
Helping like-minded chicks do a runner.
Yeah, and money, accommodation etc.
191
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:57,138
So which one are you?
192
00:13:57,220 --> 00:14:01,259
- You need military training for A.
- We're B.
193
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:06,539
- So... you helped Monica leave me?
- No, that was Cindy, I think.
194
00:14:06,620 --> 00:14:09,578
- The two Juliets.
- Oh.
195
00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:12,652
So you knew you were a lezzer
before you fucked off?
196
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:15,095
She's always been a chick, Frank,
197
00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:19,935
so don't build your hopes up. She can't
even look at a penis without gagging.
198
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:26,295
So what would I have to do
if I went along with all this?
199
00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:28,416
The least, which is lucky.
200
00:14:31,140 --> 00:14:34,815
He thinks he stands a chance
and he won't listen to me.
201
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,619
Well, don't apologise... Stan, yeah?
202
00:14:37,700 --> 00:14:42,330
Everyone's entitled to give it their
best shot. You can't hate him for it.
203
00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:50,531
Why's he sniffing round Chatsworth
for a love life if he can get it anywhere?
204
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:56,375
Think about what you've just said and
apologise when you've worked it out.
205
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:01,251
- I'm not saying that.
- You are fucking saying!
206
00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:04,093
- I'm not good enough for him?
- No, no, no.
207
00:15:04,180 --> 00:15:08,731
OK, maybe it came out wrong, but...
you think about what I said, Fiona.
208
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:12,256
A middle-class bloke, money,
a fucking house this size...
209
00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:14,900
Come on. You don't meet
people like that.
210
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,972
People like you
do not meet people like that.
211
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:21,018
Oh, yeah, and Steve loves
Chatsworth so much
212
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:23,978
- he asked you to move in here.
- No, it was my idea.
213
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:26,620
He thinks coming here is a mistake.
214
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,089
- For?
- Me, the kids.
215
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:32,331
I have left them
with my mum and her girlfriend -
216
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:35,059
neither of 'em capable
of running that house.
217
00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:39,418
And it's the kids that are suffering -
again. And I agree with him.
218
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:43,049
It's Steve saying that.
It's him talking me around.
219
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:48,009
He spends more time at ours than he
does here. He'd move in permanently!
220
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:52,330
- What?!
- That's the whole fucking point!
221
00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,378
How's that normal?
222
00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:02,089
A 25-year-old bloke.
He buys stuff like this.
223
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:08,210
Oh, no, he'd rather stay on an estate with
his girlfriend and five suffering kids -
224
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,337
- none of 'em hers.
- Make it sound like a pigsty.
225
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:15,095
That's what it would look like to him.
How could it not?
226
00:16:15,180 --> 00:16:17,216
- (Door opening)
- Think.
227
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,018
(Steve) Sorry, Helmet, time's up.
228
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:23,173
Fiona, the kids just rang.
They need us round at yours now.
229
00:16:25,260 --> 00:16:28,058
I'm going. Think about what I said, Fiona.
230
00:16:43,860 --> 00:16:45,816
Right, go, Stan!
231
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:48,573
Didn't I say I can often surprise myself?
232
00:16:48,660 --> 00:16:50,935
I'm not in the fucking mood. Drive!
233
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:54,251
I'm not in the fucking mood either,
so calm down.
234
00:16:54,340 --> 00:16:56,979
Wing mirror. Blue car. His? Yeah?
235
00:16:58,180 --> 00:17:00,853
So? He doesn't have to pay for it.
His work does.
236
00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:03,896
It's nicked.
237
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,378
The VIN number
doesn't match the reg plate.
238
00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:14,055
- How do you know?
- He's got a pair of plates in the boot.
239
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:17,257
Not the current one.
Not the original one either.
240
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:22,414
Hey, again, Mr Premature Ejaculation.
Buckle up. We've got work to do.
241
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,819
- We nick him.
- We will.
242
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:25,458
But if we nick him for more,
243
00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:29,931
we're looking at a longer-term sentence,
not a holiday camp. Get me?
244
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,856
What's going on?
245
00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:44,329
(Monica) Your dad's got news for you.
246
00:17:45,740 --> 00:17:49,210
(Frank) I'm dying, apparently.
247
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:53,417
(Fiona) You what?
248
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:58,699
(Phone ringing)
249
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:00,736
Yeah, Steven with a V.
250
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:03,736
McBride.
251
00:18:04,580 --> 00:18:11,133
62 Whalley Lane, Manchester M142KM.
252
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,056
(Wilson) It's not good news.
253
00:18:17,140 --> 00:18:18,812
But don't blame me.
254
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:21,460
Eviction notice.
255
00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:26,216
They want you out. They mean it.
They've had enough of your dad -
256
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:29,053
not so much the deviance as the lies.
257
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:32,489
Well, they'll love the next bit.
258
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,456
You best come in, Mr Wilson.
259
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,978
Oh, sweet Jesus, no!
260
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:51,858
Both wrists and a bottle of tablets.
261
00:18:51,940 --> 00:18:53,896
- I blame meself.
- So do I.
262
00:18:53,980 --> 00:18:56,619
- We all do.
- I'm off to work.
263
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,339
Work? Surely not?
264
00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:02,810
I fucking hated him.
And I need the money.
265
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,053
Are you OK, Mr Wilson?
266
00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:14,655
It was never the best job in the world,
but never this bad
267
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:16,537
by a long chalk.
268
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,697
Do you mind if I...
269
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:28,649
Please do. He'd appreciate it
if you paid your respects.
270
00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:39,736
Dear Lord,
help us house the tenants we could
271
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:43,449
Show compassion and mercy
whenever we should
272
00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:45,417
Lord...
273
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:49,254
Give us strength
when full strength is needed
274
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:52,616
To nail the ones we know
who have cheated
275
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:58,455
Dear Lord, let not this trickiest job
276
00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:00,212
Make us grand
277
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,849
Or smug or proud
278
00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:05,373
Or snobs.
279
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:10,410
Something written by wife
to help me get through the job.
280
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:14,698
She died last summer so I know
what you're all going through.
281
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:18,772
So she'll be with me dad?
282
00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:21,249
No, she'll be over the other side
283
00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:23,137
probably.
284
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:26,053
(Funeral bells chiming)
285
00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:30,734
Dead? How?
286
00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:33,175
Woman over there says heart attack.
287
00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:35,216
Fucking hell...
288
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:39,771
- Poor Frank.
- No, there's summat not right about this.
289
00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:41,816
- Dad!
- Get off!
290
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:46,018
- Another verse and I'd have croaked.
- Get back in the coffin!
291
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:51,094
It freaks me out. I'm having flashbacks
to me mam. She's taking the piss.
292
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:54,252
- She's trying to show me up.
- You don't need help.
293
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,615
If they catch you,
you're dead anyway. In!
294
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:59,772
Your parents had a clue,
dropping the L from "normal".
295
00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:02,420
I never borrowed any money
I couldn't repay.
296
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,491
- You're a sad bitch.
- Dad!
297
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:07,890
- In your box!
- Look at all you. Where's the L word?
298
00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:12,531
Loyalty - not doing what you're told
by this twisted, rug-chomping
299
00:21:12,620 --> 00:21:14,770
- fucking chimp!
- It's the bailiffs!
300
00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:17,169
If it's a warrant, we're in trouble.
301
00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:20,013
Frank, get in the coffin.
302
00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:23,178
Get him in, quick.
303
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:27,131
(Banging at door)
304
00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:31,534
(Banging gets louder)
305
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,300
Show a bit of respect...
306
00:21:43,340 --> 00:21:45,058
You piece of shit!
307
00:21:45,140 --> 00:21:49,179
Too late to apologise for that, love.
We were only doing our jobs.
308
00:21:49,260 --> 00:21:51,649
And we feel bad enough to leave this.
309
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:54,616
(Debbie) To keep?
310
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:58,773
He was a good bloke, your dad. We
meet a lot like him. They mean no harm.
311
00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:01,374
They always think they can pay it back.
312
00:22:01,460 --> 00:22:03,416
Boo! You're not dead!
313
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:05,570
Get up now, you fuck!
314
00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:07,571
Michael, cut it out.
315
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,969
Two and a half grand, and counting!
316
00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:12,654
- Plus the car one of you nicked.
- Michael.
317
00:22:12,740 --> 00:22:15,493
Michael! This is really, really sick.
318
00:22:25,660 --> 00:22:27,730
Hey, hey. No, look...
319
00:22:28,740 --> 00:22:30,378
I mean, I thought he was...
320
00:22:30,460 --> 00:22:32,018
I thought you were...
321
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:39,016
Oh, shit!
322
00:22:47,060 --> 00:22:50,052
(Debbie)
Sheila, come out and help me. Help!
323
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:51,858
Debbie!
324
00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:54,659
She-Sheila!
325
00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:57,617
- Debbie!
- Sheila, help me.
326
00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:01,337
Come on, Sheila. Now!
327
00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:06,579
Get off, you bastards!
328
00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:09,220
(Screaming) Get away!
329
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,211
Get away!
330
00:23:12,820 --> 00:23:16,210
Aaagh! Aaagh! Aaagh! Aaagh!
331
00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:21,336
Sheila, you did it!
332
00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:24,571
- Sheila, it worked. The plan worked!
- I did it!
333
00:23:24,660 --> 00:23:28,016
I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!
334
00:23:34,620 --> 00:23:36,611
(Sobbing)
335
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:49,370
(Carl) He's dead!
336
00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:51,735
And he's not coming back!
337
00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:07,170
I'd love to know what people
thought about me when I'm dead.
338
00:24:07,260 --> 00:24:09,455
You wouldn't if you were Frank.
339
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:16,256
There's Wilson.
340
00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:29,932
Family only.
341
00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:33,410
Definitely not you! Not tonight.
342
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:38,255
There's a gazebo and dartboard round
the back for punters without invitations.
343
00:24:38,340 --> 00:24:43,095
Frank Gallagher was a deeply valued and
respected member of this community.
344
00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:44,533
(Laughter)
345
00:24:44,620 --> 00:24:48,010
He was a good friend and neighbour
and he'll be sorely missed.
346
00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:53,649
He once told me in private
that if he ever died unexpectedly
347
00:24:53,740 --> 00:24:56,618
that the one thing
he'd like saying at his wake
348
00:24:56,700 --> 00:24:58,338
was this...
349
00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:03,498
(Cheering)
350
00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:07,460
I'm ali-i-ve! Heh-heh-heh!
351
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:10,373
(# (I've Had) The Time Of My Life)
352
00:25:10,460 --> 00:25:15,773
Are you there, Martin? Who the fuck
would bury anyone in a white suit?
353
00:25:15,860 --> 00:25:17,816
Whose idea was that?
354
00:25:17,900 --> 00:25:20,095
Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be
355
00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:22,057
a party-y-y!
356
00:25:29,980 --> 00:25:32,619
When you're ready.
357
00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:36,090
- (lan) Is it OK if I shoot off in a sec?
- Who you meeting?
358
00:25:37,580 --> 00:25:42,290
No, you've shown your face. Well done.
Once I've slung this down, I'm off.
359
00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:44,496
I thought Liam had a baby-sitter.
360
00:25:44,580 --> 00:25:47,413
- Only till nine.
- I'll come with you.
361
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:49,968
No, you stay.
You're not used to a lock-in.
362
00:25:50,060 --> 00:25:52,290
You'll love it.
363
00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:05,576
(Door opening and closing)
364
00:26:07,380 --> 00:26:09,735
So you came home to collect Liam?
365
00:26:09,820 --> 00:26:12,095
Liam's in bed.
366
00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:18,654
Liam sleeps with the lights blazing.
367
00:26:20,860 --> 00:26:22,816
All the upstairs lights are off.
368
00:26:26,700 --> 00:26:29,851
- Have I done something wrong?
- No, not...
369
00:26:32,820 --> 00:26:37,132
Five nights out of seven,
Liam ends up in my bed
370
00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:40,495
and that doesn't bother you.
371
00:26:40,580 --> 00:26:43,094
- Not if I'm honest.
- It wasn't the question.
372
00:26:45,380 --> 00:26:47,769
The night you met me
373
00:26:49,660 --> 00:26:52,379
why didn't you take me back
to your house?
374
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:54,416
Because yours was nearer.
375
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:58,890
- And because I don't like mine.
- Sometimes, Stevie...
376
00:26:58,980 --> 00:27:02,655
I can't tell whether
it's me you're interested in
377
00:27:02,740 --> 00:27:04,696
or my family.
378
00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:08,497
What's that supposed to mean?
379
00:27:08,580 --> 00:27:13,096
It's obvious we need all the help we can
get, so how can we be good for you?
380
00:27:16,940 --> 00:27:19,818
(# Green, Green Grass Of Home)
381
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:25,010
♪ The old home town
looks the same, Kev
382
00:27:26,340 --> 00:27:29,138
♪ As I step down from the train
383
00:27:30,740 --> 00:27:34,653
- (Banging)
- # And there to meet me is my mama
384
00:27:35,740 --> 00:27:37,935
♪ And papa ♪
385
00:27:38,020 --> 00:27:39,772
You never thought I'd stop.
386
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:44,249
- (Frank) # Down the road, I walk... #
- Where's Steve?
387
00:27:44,340 --> 00:27:46,695
- He shot off a while back.
- With our Fiona.
388
00:27:46,780 --> 00:27:49,852
♪ Hair of gold and tits like cherries
389
00:27:50,940 --> 00:27:52,896
- # It's good to touch
- Wait here.
390
00:27:53,580 --> 00:27:58,938
♪ The green, green grass of home
391
00:27:59,980 --> 00:28:04,576
♪ Yes, they'll all come to meet me ♪
392
00:28:04,660 --> 00:28:06,173
Come here, sunshine.
393
00:28:06,260 --> 00:28:09,172
- Do you want a drink, Stan?
- I can't. I'm on overtime.
394
00:28:09,260 --> 00:28:11,296
Soda and a couple of beers for later?
395
00:28:11,380 --> 00:28:14,372
Yeah, great, if I'm not in anybody's way.
396
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:17,975
♪ The green, green grass of ho... ♪
397
00:28:21,940 --> 00:28:23,658
Sheila?
398
00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:28,052
I know. If I look to the left or right,
this could be a nightmare
399
00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:30,370
but I don't have to. There you are.
400
00:28:30,460 --> 00:28:33,258
I'm absolutely fine, but if I faint
401
00:28:33,340 --> 00:28:36,889
don't shift us.
I'll be right as rain in a few minutes.
402
00:28:36,980 --> 00:28:40,336
- You allowed a drink, Sheila?
- Oh, vodka and tonic for me.
403
00:28:40,420 --> 00:28:43,571
Rum and black for Debbie.
Thanks, sweetheart.
404
00:28:43,660 --> 00:28:45,537
Just a black. And a straw, please.
405
00:28:45,620 --> 00:28:47,975
Everybody looks 10 years older.
406
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:52,132
- I feel like Woody Allen.
- You look fantastic.
407
00:28:52,220 --> 00:28:54,780
It's less disorientating if I look at Monica.
408
00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:59,012
She's wearing an outfit I had on
when I last went out.
409
00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:01,091
- (Laughter)
- The bitch!
410
00:29:01,180 --> 00:29:04,809
- Are you sure you should be doing this?
- Absolutely sure.
411
00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:08,255
I need a kiss.
412
00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:17,216
You don't want to overdo it, do you?
413
00:29:17,300 --> 00:29:19,256
You feel a lot safer at home.
414
00:29:20,220 --> 00:29:22,176
I feel alive again, Frank.
415
00:29:24,140 --> 00:29:26,210
I've got a little surprise for you.
416
00:29:41,020 --> 00:29:42,976
(Feedback)
417
00:29:43,060 --> 00:29:45,016
I'm pregnant.
418
00:29:45,100 --> 00:29:47,898
(Whooping)
419
00:29:47,980 --> 00:29:51,655
- (Applause)
- (Man) Well done, Frank.
420
00:29:51,740 --> 00:29:54,049
Can I baby-sit, Dad?
421
00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:05,931
Hey, Frank...
422
00:30:06,020 --> 00:30:08,375
you're officially dead.
423
00:30:09,460 --> 00:30:10,813
I am now.
424
00:30:12,420 --> 00:30:15,014
Yes, I like your family.
425
00:30:15,100 --> 00:30:16,772
I love being here.
426
00:30:16,860 --> 00:30:20,330
Every time I turn up,
I feel more welcome
427
00:30:20,420 --> 00:30:24,652
and treated better than any place
I've ever turned up in my life.
428
00:30:24,740 --> 00:30:26,935
And d-do you know why that is, Fiona?
429
00:30:27,020 --> 00:30:29,773
I'm here because you're here.
430
00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:32,454
I'm here for you.
431
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:37,692
What do you want? Somebody
who doesn't like where you live?
432
00:30:37,780 --> 00:30:40,613
Somebody
who wants the total opposite?
433
00:30:40,700 --> 00:30:44,329
- No!
- I don't know what I've done wrong!
434
00:30:44,420 --> 00:30:46,297
Nothing, honestly.
435
00:30:46,380 --> 00:30:48,098
Nothing!
436
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:51,172
I have been dumped on so many times.
437
00:30:51,260 --> 00:30:53,535
Bloody Mum, bloody Dad...
438
00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:55,611
And you are so...
439
00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:58,453
- generous.
- With other people's money.
440
00:30:58,540 --> 00:31:00,337
I'm talking about money.
441
00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:03,456
The way you are with the kids.
442
00:31:03,540 --> 00:31:05,895
The time you spend with 'em.
443
00:31:05,980 --> 00:31:09,689
- They love having you around.
- This is where I'm confused
444
00:31:09,780 --> 00:31:13,011
cos generally,
I think I'm quite a decent bloke.
445
00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:18,733
Plus...
446
00:31:19,980 --> 00:31:21,652
some day soon
447
00:31:22,740 --> 00:31:25,732
I really want to have a family of my own.
448
00:31:26,940 --> 00:31:29,135
I do too.
449
00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:33,694
I hadn't banked on one this big,
but I do too.
450
00:31:33,780 --> 00:31:38,137
Ooh... I definitely wouldn't do that, Fiona.
451
00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:43,249
BMW. 3 Series.
452
00:31:43,340 --> 00:31:45,251
Registration Y586...
453
00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:47,137
BC Y.
454
00:31:47,220 --> 00:31:50,815
Or the Shogun from Leeds. No?
455
00:31:52,180 --> 00:31:56,253
- The black Merc from Didsbury?
- I'm saying nothing till I get a lawyer.
456
00:31:56,340 --> 00:32:00,128
Fine. Say nothing.
We know what nothing means.
457
00:32:00,220 --> 00:32:02,256
(Tony) He's a thief.
458
00:32:02,340 --> 00:32:05,412
He's just a ringer.
That's all we've got here.
459
00:32:05,500 --> 00:32:07,570
That's where the money comes from.
460
00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:12,051
Don't listen to a word of this.
It's all bollocks. I want a lawyer.
461
00:32:12,140 --> 00:32:14,700
It's not "What Merc?",
just "I want a lawyer".
462
00:32:14,780 --> 00:32:16,975
It's the surest sign you're right.
463
00:32:18,060 --> 00:32:20,813
How come you're on your own, Tony?
464
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:25,095
- It's a favour.
- For?
465
00:32:25,180 --> 00:32:27,819
The last thing I want
is embarrassment for you.
466
00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:29,856
Are you nicking him or not?
467
00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:32,852
- I'll leave that up to you.
- Oh, go on!
468
00:32:33,980 --> 00:32:36,096
- No, I'm saying...
- What, Tony? What?
469
00:32:36,180 --> 00:32:39,855
You let him go and I'm lumbered with
paying back favours to you?
470
00:32:39,940 --> 00:32:44,650
Fuck off. I told you months back that
you weren't my type. What do you do?
471
00:32:44,740 --> 00:32:46,571
- Blackmail?
- No, it's not.
472
00:32:46,660 --> 00:32:48,935
Bloody is, mate.
473
00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:54,254
- You've told him no, but he's still here.
- Only because
474
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:56,854
I love him.
475
00:33:01,940 --> 00:33:03,612
A bloody car thief?
476
00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:06,294
That's not all he is!
477
00:33:27,420 --> 00:33:28,614
Steven McBride,
478
00:33:28,700 --> 00:33:31,897
- I am arresting you on suspicion of theft.
- Oh, no, Tony!
479
00:33:31,980 --> 00:33:35,131
- You do not have to say anything...
- Please, Tony, stop!
480
00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:37,097
(Siren)
481
00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:48,858
(Brakes on hard)
482
00:33:48,940 --> 00:33:51,010
(Doors slamming)
483
00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:58,739
How come it's always people like you
always get their own way?
484
00:33:58,820 --> 00:34:02,051
- You blew that, mate, not me.
- I am not your mate!
485
00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:06,092
If I take you in,
she won't talk to me again, will she?
486
00:34:06,180 --> 00:34:08,136
No.
487
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:10,415
What have you got I haven't?
488
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:13,695
I just got there before you, Tony.
489
00:34:18,300 --> 00:34:21,770
I promised that I'd never let anybody
do that again.
490
00:34:32,260 --> 00:34:33,932
Look, can I smoke?
491
00:34:35,220 --> 00:34:37,017
Do you want to help me out here?
492
00:34:51,820 --> 00:34:53,890
Could get five years for this.
493
00:35:01,780 --> 00:35:03,736
Have you ever driven a 3.5 litre?
494
00:35:04,820 --> 00:35:07,209
- No.
- Give it a try.
495
00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:09,938
Take it for a spin.
496
00:35:12,180 --> 00:35:17,698
Yeah, right. How to keep Tony quiet?
Buy him off. You fuck right off!
497
00:35:17,780 --> 00:35:19,896
- I've got principles.
- Yeah, so have I.
498
00:35:19,980 --> 00:35:23,609
- Huh!
- I've never committed one violent crime.
499
00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:26,260
I've never hurt anyone. I-I...
500
00:35:26,340 --> 00:35:28,854
I've never burgled anyone.
I don't need to.
501
00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:35,412
It's...
502
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:40,733
It's a compulsion.
I just like driving other people's cars.
503
00:35:40,820 --> 00:35:43,698
Especially when I know
they're fully comp.
504
00:35:44,780 --> 00:35:46,736
Just imagine it.
505
00:35:46,820 --> 00:35:49,254
You're nipping out for a pint of milk -
506
00:35:49,340 --> 00:35:54,414
something as... mundane, something
as ordinary and boring as that.
507
00:35:56,140 --> 00:35:58,654
You wouldn't believe how sexy that is.
508
00:35:59,740 --> 00:36:02,573
Is it just because... it's not your car?
509
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:04,332
Precisely that.
510
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:07,930
And I swear that one
511
00:36:08,020 --> 00:36:09,976
is completely untraceable.
512
00:36:11,060 --> 00:36:13,494
Where would I say I got it?
513
00:36:16,180 --> 00:36:18,330
You bought it from me, in good faith.
514
00:36:18,420 --> 00:36:22,049
You give me a cheque for £15,000,
I'll give you 15 grand back in cash.
515
00:36:44,300 --> 00:36:46,256
(Door slamming)
516
00:36:46,340 --> 00:36:50,253
Mum, can I have some egg, Mum?
Mum, Mum, how I don't like my egg.
517
00:36:50,340 --> 00:36:53,776
It's all circular, Mum. Mum, Mum, Mum!
518
00:36:53,860 --> 00:36:55,816
(Chorus of competing voices)
519
00:37:00,500 --> 00:37:04,049
- Mum, what about my chips?
- I need a letter for games.
520
00:37:04,140 --> 00:37:07,018
- Mum, there's no ketchup!
- Mum!
521
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:09,455
(All shouting at once)
522
00:37:09,540 --> 00:37:11,258
Liam!
523
00:37:11,340 --> 00:37:15,094
- He's still at the nursery.
- (Debbie) And it closes at five.
524
00:37:15,180 --> 00:37:17,774
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, Mum...
525
00:37:17,860 --> 00:37:21,489
- At least she came back.
- She didn't. She were forced.
526
00:37:21,580 --> 00:37:25,289
- She's only here cos she can't leave.
- Right, hands up.
527
00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:29,817
Who believes her when she says
she had no idea where we were living?
528
00:37:33,740 --> 00:37:35,856
Time for you to go... Mum.
529
00:37:53,820 --> 00:37:56,573
If a clairvoyant told me last week
I'd be doing this,
530
00:37:56,660 --> 00:37:59,333
I think I'd have hit her.
531
00:38:00,180 --> 00:38:02,740
- (Doorbell)
- I'll get that!
532
00:38:11,420 --> 00:38:15,413
- Fiona... how are you?
- Sheila, that was fantastic!
533
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:17,456
And is the other bit true?
534
00:38:17,540 --> 00:38:21,419
Nurse came this morning
with the dates for the antenatal.
535
00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:25,095
- I did it!
- Oh, congratulations!
536
00:38:26,580 --> 00:38:28,411
Give us them flowers, you.
537
00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:31,970
I was gonna ask if you wanted anything
from the supermarket
538
00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:35,018
- but do you fancy coming?
- Oh, my God, Frank.
539
00:38:35,100 --> 00:38:37,056
- I can do me own shopping.
- Good.
540
00:38:37,140 --> 00:38:38,858
Hey, don't go mad though.
541
00:38:38,940 --> 00:38:40,692
Oh, give over. I'm loaded.
542
00:38:40,780 --> 00:38:43,613
I've spent next to nothing
the last five years.
543
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:46,931
Ooh. Maternity clothes - I love 'em.
544
00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:50,615
Bereavement cards
from people who took it seriously.
545
00:38:51,820 --> 00:38:55,495
"Good luck, kids. One man's loss
can be a game for many."
546
00:38:55,580 --> 00:38:58,174
- Victor.
- I'll twat him when I see him.
547
00:38:58,260 --> 00:39:00,455
You won't have to
if he thinks you're dead.
548
00:39:00,540 --> 00:39:02,337
(Laughter)
549
00:39:02,420 --> 00:39:04,888
And a death benefit certificate for £25.
550
00:39:04,980 --> 00:39:07,369
- It'll go towards the funeral.
- (Sheila) How sweet.
551
00:39:07,460 --> 00:39:09,451
It's in my name.
552
00:39:09,540 --> 00:39:11,815
Ahhh. But I'll sign it over to you
553
00:39:11,900 --> 00:39:15,051
- as it's the last Giro you'll see.
- What you on about?
554
00:39:15,140 --> 00:39:17,654
Well, you can't claim if you're dead, Dad.
555
00:39:17,740 --> 00:39:21,938
(Sheila) Don't be gormless, Frank!
Even I worked that one out.
556
00:39:24,740 --> 00:39:28,016
- Devious fucking bitch!
- What?
557
00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:33,174
The fucking lezzers have done this
to get out of paying maintenance.
558
00:39:33,260 --> 00:39:35,490
But I claim enough for all three of us.
559
00:39:35,580 --> 00:39:39,653
Mum and Norma have settled for 100,
in cash, up front, every week to me.
560
00:39:39,740 --> 00:39:41,935
- Says who?
- Mum and Norma.
561
00:39:42,020 --> 00:39:44,329
Right.
562
00:39:45,620 --> 00:39:47,736
Frank!
563
00:39:57,620 --> 00:40:03,297
♪ I will find you there
564
00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:09,774
♪ You don't have to say you love me
just be close at hand
565
00:40:10,860 --> 00:40:17,572
♪ You don't have to stay forever
I will understand
566
00:40:17,660 --> 00:40:19,139
♪ Believe... ♪
567
00:40:19,220 --> 00:40:21,495
You stitched me up, you bitch.
568
00:40:21,580 --> 00:40:23,969
You whores of Satan.
Where's my money?
569
00:40:24,060 --> 00:40:28,497
Calm down, Frank. Everyone got what
they wanted. Nobody stitched anybody.
570
00:40:28,580 --> 00:40:30,730
I can't even claim basic. Basic!
571
00:40:30,820 --> 00:40:33,937
Well, your kids
never saw the money anyway.
572
00:40:34,020 --> 00:40:37,490
- They never saw any from her, did they?
- She was in recovery.
573
00:40:37,580 --> 00:40:39,935
Fuck off. You stitched me.
574
00:40:40,020 --> 00:40:41,976
Hey, hey. That's enough.
575
00:40:42,060 --> 00:40:44,016
No, don't patronise me.
576
00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:46,489
Frank's a pussy, aren't ya?
577
00:40:46,580 --> 00:40:48,855
Mee-oww, mee-oww.
578
00:40:48,940 --> 00:40:50,578
- Say a prayer!
- (Cheering)
579
00:40:51,820 --> 00:40:53,492
Wanker.
580
00:40:55,020 --> 00:40:56,419
Look out!
581
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:59,458
Oh, Frank! You tosser.
What have you done?
582
00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:01,770
You dickhead.
583
00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:03,930
- Are you all right?
- Yeah?
584
00:41:04,020 --> 00:41:05,294
Well?
585
00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:07,814
And? OK?
586
00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:11,097
OK, come on. You fuck like a bloke.
587
00:41:11,180 --> 00:41:12,932
Come on, fight like one.
588
00:41:23,660 --> 00:41:27,778
You going for a beer? Three beers,
please. You're showing off.
589
00:41:30,100 --> 00:41:32,978
- Which one's yours?
- It's the one at the end
590
00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:34,891
next to the derelict house.
591
00:41:34,980 --> 00:41:37,335
- Hiya, Sheila.
- Hiya, Steve!
592
00:41:38,980 --> 00:41:40,698
Hiya, Kev. How are you?
593
00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:44,656
- State of me!
- Hiya, gorgeous.
594
00:41:44,740 --> 00:41:50,098
(Sheila) Credit card expired in 2000
so we had to get cash, didn't we?
595
00:41:50,180 --> 00:41:52,330
I loved it!
596
00:41:52,420 --> 00:41:56,652
Sheila, you look about three months
more pregnant than last time.
597
00:41:56,740 --> 00:41:58,696
- It's a cushion.
- Is it?
598
00:41:58,780 --> 00:42:02,216
I'm testing my smocks.
What do you think?
599
00:42:04,060 --> 00:42:07,609
- God, your shoes are top.
- We got lagers here.
600
00:42:07,700 --> 00:42:11,898
We're just having a break, Fiona,
from fixing Steve's boiler.
601
00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:13,971
Fucking slave-driver or what?
602
00:42:14,060 --> 00:42:17,257
Let it be
and give us an hand with the bags.
603
00:42:17,340 --> 00:42:19,296
Here y'are.
604
00:42:19,380 --> 00:42:22,053
Thanks. Come on.
605
00:42:44,340 --> 00:42:46,615
- And you can pack that in for a start.
- What?
606
00:42:46,700 --> 00:42:50,409
- Steve's boiler? He hasn't moved in yet.
- Yes, I have.
607
00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:54,459
I took the liberty of bringing
some clothes and a bit of furniture.
608
00:42:54,540 --> 00:42:56,417
- Ahhhh.
- No, you haven't.
609
00:42:56,500 --> 00:42:58,456
Oh, sorry...
610
00:42:58,540 --> 00:43:01,452
Sorry, you thought I meant your house.
611
00:43:01,540 --> 00:43:03,690
No, you see, I meant ours.
612
00:43:10,860 --> 00:43:12,816
- Is he for real?
- Yep.
613
00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:15,937
- He did a cash deal.
- For more than it's worth, if you ask me.
614
00:43:17,020 --> 00:43:19,295
It took a month of hard bargaining.
615
00:43:19,380 --> 00:43:23,419
You weren't meant to find out
and that was long before Helmet...
616
00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:26,333
Hey, speak of the bent little devil.
617
00:43:26,420 --> 00:43:29,571
- He-hey! Helmet!
- (Whooping)
618
00:43:34,660 --> 00:43:36,616
- Can I look?
- Oi. Hey.
619
00:43:36,700 --> 00:43:39,612
Look... I haven't finished.
620
00:43:39,700 --> 00:43:41,656
What I want to say...
621
00:43:42,740 --> 00:43:46,335
is, Fiona, from the bottom of my heart,
622
00:43:46,420 --> 00:43:48,536
I love you.
623
00:43:49,620 --> 00:43:51,576
Happy 21 st.
624
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,256
(She splutters)
625
00:44:06,260 --> 00:44:09,138
(Cheering)
626
00:44:10,740 --> 00:44:12,412
Oi, all right!
627
00:44:16,180 --> 00:44:20,139
- I could fit this over your arm.
- Erm, best not, yet.
628
00:44:20,220 --> 00:44:23,496
- It'll be great in a fortnight.
- Kev reckons it only cost 500.
629
00:44:23,580 --> 00:44:25,536
- That's if you want it.
- You don't have to.
630
00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:29,499
- I can be in charge next door.
- Yeah, that'd be top.
631
00:44:29,580 --> 00:44:33,971
A couple of hands to do it up.
That'll come off the insurance claim.
632
00:44:34,060 --> 00:44:36,369
What insurance claim?
633
00:44:37,580 --> 00:44:39,491
Oh, fucking hell!
634
00:44:45,980 --> 00:44:49,097
(Whooping and cheering)
635
00:44:58,740 --> 00:45:02,369
- That'd be your boiler, then, Steve?
- Seems like it, Kev.
636
00:45:02,460 --> 00:45:06,089
Wouldn't you know it?
British workmanship. Whoo-hoo!
637
00:45:09,260 --> 00:45:10,932
Come here.
638
00:45:11,020 --> 00:45:12,248
(Screams)
639
00:45:17,780 --> 00:45:20,533
(Frank) 'That's why Tony Blair's a no-no.
640
00:45:21,420 --> 00:45:24,969
'Forget Iraq. Never mind pensions.
641
00:45:25,060 --> 00:45:29,736
'All that gimp's achieved is making
lesbians think they own the place
642
00:45:29,820 --> 00:45:35,213
'while working class heroes like me are
left propping the bleeding country up.
643
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:36,972
'Well, fuck him!
644
00:45:40,180 --> 00:45:42,933
'Actually, don't, I bet he'd love it.'
645
00:46:25,860 --> 00:46:27,816
(TV is on)
646
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:36,252
(Frank whistling)
647
00:46:38,300 --> 00:46:41,292
(Sheila) You'll have to wait,
you dirty boy.
648
00:46:41,380 --> 00:46:44,452
I promised to go and see my mam
before she died.
649
00:46:44,540 --> 00:46:46,496
- (Horn)
- There's me taxi.
650
00:46:46,546 --> 00:46:51,096
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