All language subtitles for Shameless (US) - 03x03 - May I Trim Your Hedges_.ASAP.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

For all of you
who were too fucking busy,

this is what happened
last week on Shameless...

What the fuck you looking at?

This is my home.

I am an important part
of this family. Jesus!

No, you're not.
You don't live here anymore.

Catch. Open it.

I sort of have a boyfriend.

Well, I sort of have a wife.

- She's always been a problem.
- No!

I want her to be
an American citizen, Steve.

When Immigration comes,
you will be her husband.

Beto's out front.
He follows me wherever I go.

He's harmless.

Ow! Fuck!

Daddy's good with babies.

Howdy, folks.
You need help with that baby?

I got a proposition
for you, Sheils.

Let me stay. You'll get
eight hours of sleep a night.

I can promise you that.

I know what I'm doing.

Are you supposed
to give Valium to a baby?

I lost $100 doing this night.

I was trying
to better our situation, Lip.

The only way to make money
when you're poor

is to steal it or scam it.

I know. I know.
You want me to find Jesus.

I already found him.
Thanks.

I'm looking for Kev.

I'm his wife.

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

[High Strung's
The Luck You Got]

♪ ♪

♪ think of all the luck
you got ♪

♪ know that
it's not for naught ♪

♪ you were beaming
once before ♪

♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ what is this down side ♪

♪ that you speak of? ♪

♪ what is this feeling ♪

♪ you're so sure of? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ round up the friends
you got ♪

♪ know that
they're not for naught ♪

♪ you were willing
once before ♪

♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ what is this down side ♪

♪ that you speak of? ♪

♪ what is this feeling ♪

♪ you're so sure of? ♪

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Hey.

Hey.

You're awake.

Never fell asleep.

[Sighs] Just go talk to him.

It's not his fault
the crazy ex-wife

showed up out of nowhere.

She's no his ex,
she's his wife.

And you should've seen his face
when he saw her.

This house is so quiet.

Kids! Breakfast!

Jeez, Fiona.

This shit
is all in your head, V.

This house ain't quiet.

And she is not Kev's wife.
You are.

Go talk to him.

[Baby crying]

[Groans]

I need coffee.

We're out of filters.

We can use paper towels.

We're out of paper towels.

Diapers will work.

You have to go to work.

Yeah. Can we just reschedule
the doctor thing?

No, the vaccine schedule
is very important.

You can't be late.

How busy can a tattoo parlor be
in the morning?

Morning to us.

To some people, it's the end
of a long night.

Good morning.

No breakfast?

I haven't had a lot of energy
for shopping lately.

Nanny Frank to the rescue.

The Hymster and I will go
on a little field trip

to the grocery store.

We just need some cash,
right, buddy?

You still drunk, Frank?

[Baby crying]

Fine.

Oh, damn.
I got to go.

I'll grab coffee
on the way to work.

Boo-da-loo-boop.

[Baby crying]

[Crying stops]

I'm awake!

[Baby crying] Oh.

Go catch some Zs, Sheils.

- I got the little guy.
- I can't.

Hymie has his first
"Well Baby" appointment today

at the pediatrician.

Doctor require
some kind of co-pay

for this unnecessary visit?

Oh, of course he does.

Doctors are thieves,
little Hymster.

They just have degrees
to keep them out of jail.

Go on.
I'll take him.

[Gasps] You will?

- Yeah.
- Frank!

Oh, Frank, bless you.
Bless you.

[Baby crying] Bless you.

Oh. Okay.

- Here. Here.
- Okay.

- Here you go.
- That'll do it.

Ooh, look at that.

Oh, wait.
Don't you need the address?

- Where is she?
- She's still sleeping.

She did not just show up here
because her car broke down.

What do you think, V,
she broke it on purpose?

I think she broke you
on purpose.

She broke you.

And I put you back together.

And now she's here
to take back what I fixed.

V, look.
Look at this.

Divorce papers--
I got them off the internet.

This is my chance
to get her to sign it,

to make it official.

Why didn't you just say that
last night?

Because you were yelling
some shit about my face,

and then you ditched
and slept over at Fiona's.

Well, I was right
about your face.

[Yawns]

Good morning.

Hey.

I made you some coffee--

super strong, like you like it.

Yay, Kevy-caf, my fave.

"Kevy-caf"?

Decaf, full-caf, Kevy-caf--

for when you need
a real kick in the ass.

- Can I watch some TV?
- Yeah.

[Gags]

It's how she likes it.

Mmm.

Your bed is so comfy.
I slept like a baby.

You slept in our bed?

I stayed in the guest room.

[Sighs] God.

I haven't smelled that smell
in so long.

What smell?

His cologne...
on the pillow.

English Leather, like...

- Old man Carlyle used to wear.
- Old man Carlyle used to wear.

[Giggles]

"Old man Carlyle"?

Foster home where we met.

He was the best fake dad
we ever head.

You know
Junior's going to prison?

- Tax evasion.
- Junior Carlyle, no shit?

- No shit.
- No shit?

Six frozen OJs
for the price of five.

20% off mac and cheese,

and I have four of these.

Only one coupon per customer.

- It doesn't say that.
- It doesn't have to.

- It's implied.
- Hey, Tina.

It's time for your break.

Why don't you have Kim
take over your station?

Oh, my God.

- Is that snot?
- Sorry--

kids, summer colds.

I have four
mac and cheese coupons--

- I told you, one per customer.
- Hey, watch your tone.

I'll watch my tone
when you teach your kids

- how to use a kleenex.
- Excuse me?

I have four coupons!

I dug through
the neighbor's trash

- to get them!
- Tina, break time!

- Let's go.
- You know what? Fine!

Take it. Take all of it!
Take it for free!

I don't give a shit!

Do you hear me, Bobby?

I don't give a shit!

Take your own goddamn break!

And you can keep
my last paycheck.

I won't be coming back.

Keep taking this shit
if you want to.

But I'm out, bitches.
Out!

Why don't we just talk here
for a second, Tina.

Okay.

Maybe I shouldn't have pushed
so hard on the coupon thing.

Just, uh, stay here
and bag the groceries.

We didn't pay.

She said we could have 'em.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Are you the manager?

Uh, yes.
I'm so sorry

you had to hear
that kind of language

with your children present,
ma'am.

If you'd, uh, follow me back
to my office,

I'd be happy to give you
a coupon for a free ham.

That'd be great.

But it seems like
she kind of quit back there,

so I was thinking there
might be a job opening.

Hmm.
What's your name?

Fiona Gallagher.

You know what?

Why don't you follow me,
Fiona Gallagher?

So, right place,
right time, huh?

Hope so.

I'm responsible
and a really hard worker.

- You ever work as a cashier?
- Sure, absolutely.

So, tell me, Fiona,

how do you feel
about deli meats?

Deli meats?

I'm not big on olive loaf--

barfed it up once
when I was a kid.

- But mostly I like 'em.
- Good.

That's good.

I ask, because if you're gonna
be working here,

I got to see
how you handle the meat.

We sell franks and beans too.

We sell hot dogs, corn dogs,

three bean salad, cream cheese.

[Chuckles] Wow.

You're saying that if blow you,

I can have a job?

No.
I would never say that.

That would be inappropriate
and illegal.

If you wanted to blow me,

well, you'd have to be
a consenting adult.

Good morning, Frank.
Who's your handsome friend?

[Chuckles]
You hear that, Hymie?

That's Kate.
Kate's got good taste.

Give me a shot of JB,
a pickled egg,

and a thumbtack.

A thumbtack?

And a band-aid.

[Baby crying]

[Trilling lips]

There you go and--

mumps be gone.
[Baby crying]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, it's all over,
little buddy.

There you go.
There you go.

I'm gonna need
another one of these.

Um, I think I'm--
yeah.

I'm calling the police
and reporting child abuse.

[Trills lips]

AIDS didn't come
from the homos, Kate.

The gays may have helped
to spread it,

with their bloody
anal passions,

but it originated in vaccines

made from the blood
of African monkeys.

Interestingly enough,
heterosexual monkeys.

It was homos, Frank.
[Chuckles]

He needs his shots, Frank.

Jesus Christ, Kate.

The kid's already a half-wit.

You want to give him
autism too?

Now close your mouth

before someone considers it
an invitation,

and pour me a goddamn drink.

The stars came out

for the Wishing Lane Foundation
last night.

Adam Foster, ten years old,
and living

with a rare form leukemia,
had only one wish--

to meet his heroes, The Bulls.

They did better than that,
giving him courtside seats

and a ball
signed by the entire team.

Holy shit.
The whole team?

What do you think
that'd go for on eBay?

Couple grand, at least.

That kid's just got cancer.

Hymie's mentally deficient.

That's a permanent condition.

You should know, Frank.
[Laughs]

[Trills lips]

That would be an awesome job!

Discounts on groceries--

that could really help
with summer day care costs.

I'm not getting that job.

It's not gonna happen, so let's
just drop it, okay, Debs?

Debs?

Are you kidding me?

Get out of here,
you piece of shit!

You better run,
you sick bastard!

[Hard rock music]

♪ ♪

You okay, Debs?

You shouldn't have to see that.

Can you describe the perp?

Red--
really, really red.

- What, like, sunburned?
- She's talking about his--

The guy, Debs.

What did the guy look like--
his face?

How are you supposed
to see his face

behind that giant,
red, one-eyed--

Got it. Okay.

You did great, miss.
Thank you.

Yeah, okay, come on, Debs.

Let's go get you a Bomb Pop
or something, huh?

- Why didn't you stab him?
- Stab him with what?

You ride the city bus
without a knife?

[Scoffs]

He was about 30, tallish,

long hair, long beard,
small dick...

you know, 'cause guys
with big ones

don't feel the need
to jerk it at little girls.

Okay.

- Uh, I'll file a report, but...
- But what?

Nobody cares
about a pervert on a bus?

We'll let the ITC know.

They'll keep an eye out
for the guy.

Thanks.

You did the right thing,
calling.

Here's my direct line,

if you need anything else.

[Door opens, closes]

- What?
- "You did the right thing.

- Here's my direct line."
- Please.

You have less
to worry about from him

than from the manager
at the grocery store.

Am I supposed to find comfort
in that sentence?

Dude wanted a blow
in exchange for a job,

giving new meaning
to "blow job."

Wow?

You grow up in this house,

you think that nothing
can shock you anymore.

And then--

what is it with men
and their johnsons--

shaking them on buses,

using them to blackmail
potential employees?

You know, that was probably
a good job too--

benefits,
discounts on groceries.

[Sighs]

You know what?

He doesn't get away
with this shit.

- I'm going back over there.
- Great.

You want me to come with you?

No, but can you watch Liam?

Oh, shit.
Sorry, I can't.

You just offered
to come with me.

No, I know,
because I knew you'd say no.

I got a checkup.

[Sighs]

Kick ass, take names.

Don't blow anyone.

You let her sleep in our bed?

You said yourself
she's a crazy bitch.

She is a crazy bitch.

And not a crazy bitch
like you're a crazy bitch,

like, "oh, bitch,
you so crazy." No!

She once tried to beat me
to death with a frozen fish

because I had asked
if there was more broccoli.

And you never know
what's gonna set her off.

What are you doing?
Put that back on.

I'm changing.
[Cell phone rings]

Teresa will be here
at 2:00.

- Who's that?
- Notary public,

gets her hair done
at mom's salon.

So you have until 2:00 to get
the divorce papers signed,

or I'll show her
who's a crazy bitch.

- Hey.
- Put your shirt on.

Put your shirt on!

Hey, I'm changing.

I'm gonna go take a look
at your car.

- Okay.
- On that foot?

I can handle it.

If you can handle it,
maybe you can handle

the dripping faucet
in our bathroom.

- How'd you do that anyway?
- Shootin' hoop.

I snapped my achilles
posting up some local kid--

he's huge. He's probably gonna
go in the NBA draft next year.

He snapped it
falling in the bathtub

like an old Florida Jew.

[Laughs]
Which was right after the game.

It was a delayed reaction.

Hey, V, you still have
that mini camera

you use for titty shots?

I need your help with a scumbag
at the grocery store.

- Hey, I'm--
- I know who you are.

[Chuckles] V, why don't you
go help Fiona at the store?

And while you're there,
see if there's

some more broccoli.

Fine. Come on.

Teresa, here, 2:00.

Holy shit.

A lot of red dots.

All those red dots
are sex offenders

in our neighborhood?

All right, check this out.

Child rapist three blocks over,

did five years
and out on probation.

How does a child rapist
only get five years?

He doesn't--
he gets five years,

plus the beating of this life.
Let's go.

I thought
we were gonna fix the pool.

No, no, no,
you should come, Carl.

- Grab the bat.
- Awesome.

Hey, you want help?

My dad always loves
a good perv posse.

So we're just forgetting
about the guy on the bus?

Hell, no, I'm gonna
teach you self-defense--

Milkovich style.
Come on.

All right, let's go.

Yo, we're going
to jump a pedophile.

- You want to come?
- Aw, sounds great.

But I can't.

You're acting cagey, okay?

And there's been
an Escalade parked

across the street
for longer than makes sense.

What's going on?

I don't want to know?

'Cause if you told me,
I'd have to tell Fiona,

which would upset
the delicate peace

we've recently established?

Right.

Have fun
wailing on the pedophile.

Is there any way not to?

Thank you.

No, thank you, Marta.
Thank you.

- Now you stay strong.
- Come on, baby.

Hello.
May I help you?

I hope so.
I'm Frank Gallagher.

May I start by saying thank you

for all you do
for our suffering little ones.

Thank you, Mr. Gallagher.

This is my son Hymie.

He was born
with an extra chromosome,

through no fault of his own--
Down Syndrome.

It's a lifelong condition.
It's irreversible.

He's a beautiful boy.

Aren't you, Hymie?
Yes, you are.

And believe it or not,
he is already,

at such a young age,
an avid sports fan.

Is that so?

He can watch a ball dribble

up and down a court for hours,

endlessly fascinated.

His little face
just lights up with joy.

It would be so wonderful

if he could see it
all happen in real life.

I'm sorry, Mr. Gallagher.

I-I think
you may be confused.

Our organization
works with dying children,

not children with Down's.

Of course.

Of course.
I know that.

[Crying]

It's my other child
that's dying.

[Sobs] Oh, I'm sorry.

Thank you.

[Blows nose, sobs]

Drive.

[Chuckles]

What the fuck you want?

Convicted child rapist

just moved in down the street.

Let's get the boys.

[Rock music]

♪ ♪

What the fuck
is this little parade?

Kid fucker, next block.

[Knock at door]

May I help you?

We're looking
for Blake Collins.

[Sighs] I am Blake Collins.

Oh, shit.

You're the eighth-grade teacher
who screwed her student, right?

You were on TV.

I didn't "screw" William.
I loved him.

And I did my time.
I paid for my mistake--

if love can be called
a mistake.

[Sighs] I'm sure
there are real criminals

in the the neighborhood
that you can beat up

if you have the inclination.

Now, please,
may I close the door?

Yeah, yeah.

[Door closes]

Shit.

Let's go find a camel jockey.

Yo, Carl, get home, all right?

Shit, we should still
do something.

You thinking gang bang?

Uh, no,
but she fucks little kids.

It was one kid,
and he wasn't that little.

Look, he was 14.
She was his teacher.

Do we really want a pedophile
living in the neighborhood?

Shit, if it was 14
and had a teacher

who looked like that
and wanted it?

Man, I'm getting wood
just thinking about that.

Yo, Angie?

Yeah?

You want to fuck?

Sure.

Now, see, I thought
you two were, uh...

Shut up.

Hope you're using a raincoat.

You were having sex at 14.

I was having sex
with a 14-year-old at 14.

So you think Kash
should have gone to jail?

Yeah, I do.

I almost called
the cops 100 times.

Should've--
creepy fucking Arab dude

- fucking my little brother.
- I was 15.

I was old enough
to make my own decisions.

You were a kid.
He was a man.

Says you.

You really want this chick
living in the neighborhood?

Think about Carl.

- Carl should be so lucky.
- Okay.

So what if it was Debbie
and a 30-year-old dude?

- Ugh, it's different.
- Bullshit it's different.

Look, she's not hanging around
the park with lollipops.

She fell in love.

It's got nothing to do
with love.

This chick
is a standard-issue pedophile,

and I'm gonna prove it.

[Shouting in portuguese] _

- Sorry I'm late.
- I hate this INS bullshit.

America is supposed to be
free country, no?

No.

Hey!
That's a nice outfit.

It's not an outfit.
It's a perv trap.

What, is that like
a bear trap--

where your titties
clamp around the wrist

and they have to gnaw off
their own paws?

[Both laugh]
2:00.

I got it.

She hates me, doesn't she?

No. She just
don't know you yet.

I mean, I get it-- I would hate
me, too, if I were her.

I mean, I show up here
with my kid in tow,

and you haven't seen me
in years.

It's almost like I'm trying
to get you back or something.

But honestly, Kev, I don't even
know if Kyle's yours.

I was really getting around
back then.

So V has nothing
to worry about.

What?
What'd I say?

You think Kyle could be mine?

You didn't do that math?

Shit. Sorry.

Cancer?

How did I get cancer?

You must have caught it
from grammy, son.

If she had known that she had
the contagious kind,

I don't think she would've spent
so much time

with you in the basement,
cooking meth.

Am I going to die?

I hope not.

But right now we have to fight

and fight hard.

You ready to fight
with me, Carl?

[Razor whirring]

Why do we have to shave it?

Didn't you ever see any shows
about cancer?

Cancer people are always bald.

Grammy wasn't bald.

Grammy hated life.

She wanted to die,
but you love life.

And one
of the most important ways

you can fight the cancer

is to let the sunrays
in through your skull.

Why are you shaving
Carl's head?

Lice.

Since when do you...

parent?

Since you dropped the ball.

The vermin were literally
jumping off his scalp.

Well, make sure
you wash the sheets too, okay?

I look like a woman?

I have lice too?

Yes.
Yes, you do.

Fiona's gonna freak out.

No, Fiona is not
going to freak out,

because Fiona
is not going to know.

You're a man now, Carl.

The cancer makes you a man.

And as a man, it's your job

to keep secrets
from the women who love you.

Jeez, I'm gonna
look like a penis.

[Razor stops whirring]

I'll get you a hat.

I'll get you a hat.
[Razor whirring]

[Knock at door]

- Yes?
- Hi. Uh, how you doing?

I'm-- I'm Lip,
uh, short for Phillip.

I-I just live right over
on 64th.

I'm gonna be a sophomore
next year at Lincoln.

Um, I was walking by your yard,

and it looks pretty overgrown.

I was wondering, um...

can I trim your hedges?

Like, five bucks an hour?

[Scoffs]
May I trim your hedges?

Oh, right, yeah, sorry.

Um, may I trim your hedges?

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Yeah.

Yeah, it's good.
It's good.

- We're good.
- No!

No, we're just taking fake
wedding pictures for the INS.

No one's gonna see you
in that dress.

The INS will see me!

And if I look like cow,
they will know it fake!

And I will get deported for sure!

And you will go to prison.
[Speaking portuguese] _

- She's your wife.
- No.

You married her before God, no?

No, I married her
before her father,

who had a gun
pointed at my nuts.

It's different, somehow.

Buy something.

89 cents.

I-I don't get it.

Take the cup out of the trash.

Oh, the stuff's in it!

Just get out.

You need whatever
brain cells you got left.

Why you got to mess
with my business, man?

Why you got to do
your business in my store?

It's not your store.
It's towelhead's store.

- Whatever--
get smarter customers,

'cause I'm not going down
for this shit.

Oh, okay.

So, uh, what you
going down for, then, huh?

Hey, did you really fuck
Angie Zahgo today?

Yeah, I fucked Angie.
Everybody fucks Angie.

You don't fuck Angie?

No.

Huh.
You want to fuck Angie?

I can call her,
get her down here.

No.

[Rock music]

♪ ♪

♪ come on
and work for the Lord ♪

♪ come on
and work for the Lord ♪

[Grunting]

♪ come on
and work for the Lord ♪

Hey.

[Grunts] Ow!

- Who are you?
- Kyle.

What's your business here?

I may or may not be related
to your neighbor Kevin.

Oh.

Okay. Sorry.

I'm Debbie Gallagher.

Any idea where
I can get a smoke?

♪ in the garden of Eden ♪

♪ Adam-- he said to Eve ♪

♪ "girl, get away
from that tree ♪

♪ or the lord might punish me ♪

♪ that's just
what I have to believe" ♪

Finished already?

Yeah, not quite.
Um, I'm just--

I'm really hot.

Um, could I bother you
for something to drink?

A juice box?

Yes, please.

Uh...

just wait here.

♪ you know it ain't no chore ♪

♪ when you're working,
working for the Lord ♪

Hi.

Uh, I-I told you
to wait out there.

Yeah, so sorry.
I just, um--

I wondered if I could bother you
for a sandwich too?

You know, I ain't had lunch.

You haven't had lunch.

"Ain't" isn't a word, Phillip.

Right.

Hey, um, are you a teacher?

[Scoffs]
I-I used to be.

Oh, I bet you were a good one.

[Inhales deeply, stammers]
What kind of sandwich?

PB and J?

With the crust cut off?

Yes, please.

And you should've heard her
going on and on

about Kev's cologne and
Old man Johnson, or some shit--

anything she could talk about
that I wouldn't know about.

He's right in there.
You know what you're doing?

Do I know how to make a man
ask me for a hummer?

Wait here.

[Sighs]

Mm, he was born March 2001.

Weren't we together?

No, remember?
We split up that year.

Got back together after 9/11.

Why did we break up, again?

Oh, yeah.

You tried to run me over
with your car.

[Giggles]

Yeah, I don't remember
that being funny.

It was fucking scary.

Well, as it turns out,
it was the pregnancy hormones.

You were knocked up.

So he is mine?

I don't know, Kev.
[Sighs]

We were off and on that year.
There were other guys.

When you left me,

I didn't think
I could raise him on my own.

So I gave him
to my sister Crystal,

'cause she always wanted a kid.

Now she's going through
some shit,

needed me to take him.

And we thought it was time
you knew the truth.

You thought it was time?

You didn't think
it might have been time

at any other point
in the 12 years

- this kid's been alive?
- I'm really sorry, Kev.

You're sorry?
12 years, Cheryl.

You left me!

If there was a chance
that he could've been mine,

you should've told me
about him.

And did I tell you she called
her coffee "Kevy-caf"?

Like a pet name, like they have

some secret language
that I don't speak.

- V, what happened?
- Oh.

Corn dogs, cream cheese,
I got it all on tape.

- He's nasty.
- Right?

Go.
He's waitin' on you.

I want day shifts,
home by 6:00.

Couldn't help but notice
your wedding ring, Bobby.

You want your wife
to see this tape?

Fine. Days.

Just fill this out.

And we'll be taking
some veal cutlets

for our troubles--

actual veal cutlets,

none of your skanky deli meats.

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Go, go, go, go, go.

[Speaking portuguese] _

[Gasps]

That is terrible ugly dress.

Your friend, she must not
like you very much.

Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.

Mmm.

Um, you have a little, uh...

Oh.
[Clears throat]

Mm.
[Chuckles]

Oh, no, uh, the other--
the other--

Mm.

Did I get it?

No.

You know, um, can you help me?

How old are you really,
Phillip?

16...

almost.

[Sighs]

But I've always felt
like an old soul.

Mm.

Oh! Ah.
You-- you mustn't tell anyone.

No, no.
I won't. I won't.

I-I promise you,
just--

you're such a good teacher,
I feel like

I-I got so much
to learn from you.

Have-- you have so much
to learn.

- I do.
- You do. Oh.

Mm, I got to go.

- Go?
- Yeah, homework.

- In the summer?
- Mm.

- Oh, shit.
- Don't go, Phillip.

- I have more to teach you.
- Uh-huh.

- Come with me, Phillip.
- I, uh--

Shh. Don't worry.
Don't be scared, okay?

I'll teach you.

[Grunts]

Are you coming, Phillip?

Uh, yeah--
yes, I'm coming.

[Phone beeping]
Bring the peanut butter!

[Rock music]

♪ ♪

Nice place you got here.

What are you doing here?

I was hungry.

So you drove all the way
to the South Side

for a bag of chips?

Well, a bag of chips

and a ginger snap, I'm hoping.

Keep the change.

I'm working.

Well, maybe later.

Happy hour at The Fountain?

Yeah, okay.

Okay.

You got a receipt?

[Receipt printing]

That your grandpa?

Nah, just a guy
I've been seeing.

Oh, that's the guy
you've been, uh--

you've been seeing?

You guys, like,
picnic together, or, uh...

you gonna get a little dog
with a fucking sweater?

Nah, we don't picnic.
We mostly just fuck...

like you and Angie.

That image--

it's, like, scorched
behind my eyes--

a fire-breathing
one-eyed dragon.

You don't have to smoke,
you know.

It's cooler if you don't.

- Really?
- Everyone smokes.

You're only a rebel
if you don't.

Have you ever seen one
in real life...

like, on a grown-up,
when it's...

like that?

Yeah, I watch lots of porn.

It's way different in real life

than those sketches they show
you in health class, right?

What's Kev like?

Is he cool, or is he batshit
like everyone else in my family?

No, Kev's cool, nice...

like you.

I think I may become a nun.

Nuns don't have sex, right?

You're pretty--

too pretty to be a nun.

Hey, T!
What's up, girl?

You look skinny.

Don't come down here
sweet-talking me, V.

I've been sitting here waiting
for almost an hour.

What?
Kev never showed up?

No. Nobody's here
to sign anything.

And nobody's here
to pay me my money.

And I sure as shit
didn't cart my ass

all the way down here for free.

Hey, you, kid!

Where's your mother?

She and Kev
went to go get a drink.

He was freaking out
about the whole kid thing.

What whole kid thing?

About how I may be Kev's kid.

Debs, be home for dinner.

- I will.
- V?

Veronica, where's my $40?

Here, here, I got it.

Here you go.

Hi.

Am I-- am I gonna get
as sick as them?

[Coughs]

Only time will tell.

The good news is,
the cancer's in your brain.

And you never were
much of a thinker,

so it probably
won't affect you that much.

Oh, God.
Oh, God!

Wait, wait.

You need to learn to wait,
Phillip, okay?

- No, why-- why--
- Just hold it back.

- I'll get hard again quick,
I-I promise.

No, it gets better
if you delay the gratification.

The joy-- it's even bigger.
Just wait, okay?

Okay, that's--
wow.

That's really fucking good.

What is that?
What is that?

That tingles.
What is that--

some kind
of sex cream or something?

[Giggles] It's, uh...

it's-- oh, God.

- I don't think I can wait.
- No, no, no.

You can do it, Phillip.

You are my A-plus student.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, breathe deeper.

- Mm.
- Slowly.

- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Slowly.

Slow.

Okay?

- Okay.
- Good.

What's, uh--
what-- what's that?

That's, um--
ah, that's weird.

[Giggles]
Yeah, that's--

that's cold.
What-- what is that?

Well, you trimmed my hedges,

and now I am trimming yours.

Wait, what--
what is that, fucking nair?

You're fresh and clean now,

- just like a baby, Phillip.
- Wait, no, what--

oh, shit.

You said you catered
to dying children.

Sir, The Bulls only give us
so many packages per season

- and it takes months.
- Ow!

What the fuck, Frank?

That's going on
all day, every day.

My son is suffering.

Have you no soul?

If you fill out
an application now,

I can almost guarantee
that for next year--

He doesn't have a year!

[Whimpers]

There's a camp.

All the spots are full,
but there's a quadriplegic.

He won't get much out of it.

I can bump him for Carl.

Camp?

Like summer camp?

It's beautiful,
on a lake--

a wonderful place
for children to feel normal

one last time.

What the hell am I supposed to
do with a trip to cancer camp?

I've never been to camp.

[Baby crying]

Jimmy, come sit with me.
I want to show you something.

Come!

Hey.

All of this
romantic pretending, amor,

it make me so hot...

and wet.

Ow.

- Feel.
- Ow.

We should not put
all that water to waste, no?

- No?
- No.

- Ow.
- No.

Este, Este, listen.

- I-I--
- Yes?

- I-I can't.
- Yes.

- I-I--
- Yes!

- I can't.
- Yes!

No.
I can't!

[Moans]

- I-- no, I can't.
- Yes!

- Oh, fuck!
- Yes! [Moans]

[Indistinct conversation]

All right,
what are we gonna do?

- Whose ass am I kicking first?
- There's no ass to kick.

Kev's a little boy with
a "white picket fence" fantasy,

and in walks his wife
with his son.

We don't know that's his kid.

So first thing we do
is get a paternity test.

It's not about blood to Kev.

There's a woman
he grew up with and married

saying her son is his.

- That's stupid.
- It's not. Look at you.

You're a mother to your kids.

Doesn't matter
you didn't push them out.

Kev's the first good man
I've ever loved, you know?

My first love was
named Apollo, enough said.

Then there was Spider.

[Laughs] Spider?

You can't make that shit up.

No, I...

I can't fight for Kev.

Asking him to pick me over them

is asking him to change
the thing about him

that I love the most.

Screw that.

- Fi...
- No.

- Screw that.
- Fiona.

Sit-- Fi!

- Good catch.
- Kev!

- What the fuck?
- There's kids around.

Oh, you think
they haven't heard it before?

- What, are you drunk?
- No, I'm not drunk.

I'm out of my mind,
'cause you and V

are the only things
that have ever made sense

to me in this
whole fucked up world.

Okay, if you guys
can't make it,

Jimmy and I should
just quit right now.

I swear to God,
if you leave V--

- Who's leaving V?
- You're leaving V?

No.
Fiona, what the hell?

The notary, Kev,
the divorce papers?

Oh!

Shit. I had some drinks.

And Cheryl
dropped this kid bomb, and--

- and I forgot.
- Hey!

- You're interrupting.
- Excuse me?

Kev's trying
to get to know his son.

Give my boys their time.

- Your boys?
- No, no, Fiona.

It's not--
it's not what you think.

Look, Cheryl and I
have history-- that's it.

And she's not trying
to steal me away from V.

She just wants me
to meet my son.

I know school
was never your thing,

but you've never been dumb.

If you don't see
what happening here,

just plain dumb.

Come on, Debs, dinnertime.

- Can Kyle come?
- No.

All right.

You know, my mother,

she reminds me very much
of your Fiona--

beautiful, raised six kids,
never complained, a saint.

My father, he was a...

[Speaking portuguese] _

- A rolling stone.
- She put my hand there.

I didn't even move it.

That is something exactly
like my father would have said.

Did that fatty
actually cop a feel?

He totally copped a feel.

[Laughs]
You got to be kidding me.

I mean, what's up with that?

Shit, Mickey.
What the hell you doing here?

Ah, from the store, right?

Oh, come on, Ian,
don't be rude.

Invite your boyfriend
back to my place.

I mean, the more
the merrier, right?

[Chuckles] I'm sorry.

- What'd you call me?
- What?

Oh, Jesus, Mickey!

Faggot.

What the fuck
did you call me, faggot?

Enough. Enough!

[Horn honking]

- What the fuck, Gallagher?
- Shit, Mickey.

They're gonna call the cops.

- Are you okay?
- Come on!

- Sorry.
- Gallagher!

Sorry.
I'll text you.

Ah, shit!

What the fuck
is wrong with you?

[Laughs]

[Both laughing]

Where'd you learn this?

Nowhere.
Just relax and enjoy.

You been watching porn
without me?

'Cause, you know,
I consider that cheating.

No, I haven't,

although I do consider
that rule pretty unrealistic.

I just thought it up.

It's hot, right?

Maybe if I was licking it
off you.

I'm hungry.
Trade places.

- No.
- No?

[Chuckles] Since when
do you turn down a BJ?

Your dick's not even hard.

What?
I did a little manscaping.

Shit.

It's not my fault, okay?

What-- she's a pedophile!

Look, it was a sting operation.

Look, I took a picture
for the cops.

Fuck the cops.
They had their chance.

Shit.

[Sighs]

- Smells good.
- What's with Mandy?

Ah, something she wanted to do.

- Where's Jimmy?
- No idea.

What happened
to your head, Carl?

- Lice.
- Again?

Yeah, Frank shaved it.

Yeah, and he got me
into a summer camp.

What?
Why would he do that?

I don't know.
But it's cool, right?

Yeah, it's awesome, Carl.

[Sighs]

[Door closes]

I'm gonna know my kid.

I'm gonna know my kid,

and you can't have
a problem with that.

Look, I...

I don't care about Cheryl, V.

I used to, but she's nothing
but a memory to me now.

And I'm sorry...

[Sighs]
I didn't go see the notary.

But I would
never leave you, ever.

You got to know that.

After everything
we've been through,

you kind of just have
to know that.

[Sobs]

Whoa. You just snotted
the whole table.

[Laughter]

Kev?

Kev.

[Laughter]

What?
What the fuck?

Are they laughing at me?

- No.
- Yes.

- Fiona!
- Fuck you!

- Excuse you?
- Cheryl, listen--

No, I'm done listening.
Kyle, go pack our shit, now.

Cheryl, would you just
listen to me?

You could've had this,
and you want that?

She's some kind of nympho,

has three drawers
full of dildos.

What you doing going through
my shit, bitch?

What's a dildo?

Cheryl, would you just listen?

You're just as thick
as the day I met you.

Cheryl, I get that you're mad,

but I want to be
a father to Kyle.

Now, I'm gonna get you
a place nearby.

He's not yours, Kev.
He isn't even mine.

He's my sister's,
you stupid piece of shit!

What did she say?

What did she say?

- What the fuck, bitch?
- Get her, V!

I'll fuck you up!

[Screams]

Well, should we
stop 'em, or--?

What, you want to lose an eye?

- Aah!
- You're a crazy bitch!

- Kill her, V!
- Aah!

Bitch, you come into my house

and make up
some shit like that?

Get your hands off me,
you dirty bitch!

[Screams] Get her off me!

- Shit, the TV!
- No!

Not the TV!

Get the divorce papers, Kev.

- This bitch is about to sign.
- I ain't signing shit!

This way, this way.
[Screams]

If you want to walk away
with four limbs, bitch,

you're gonna sign.
Kev, the papers!

- Fuck you!
- You're signing!

[Snap] Aah!

- Sign the papers.
- Aah!

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[Screams]

Sign it!

You could initial that.

[Grunts, panting]

Uh-uh, not one word.
Just drive away.

[Tires squeal]

Whoo.

Bitch, you so crazy.

Hell, yeah!

[All cheering]

Hell, yeah!

You're still here.

You think I'm getting in a car
with that psycho?

Hey, uh,
can I borrow your phone?

I need to call my mom--
my other mom.

Sure.

You want to eat dinner first?

- Sure.
- Cool.

[Knock at door]

- You Blake?
- [Shakily] Yes.

You're moving now, Blake.

- You're moving tonight.
- Excuse me?

I don't excuse you,
you sick bitch.

I don't excuse you
'cause you're hot

or 'cause you're blonde
or 'cause

of what you've got
between your legs.

Come take a look.

You see that?

They're digging your grave.

And you want to be gone before
they get down to six feet.

- How's it going, boys?
- Good.

We dug the Berlanti grave
in what, two hours?

But this dirt
is nice and soft--

- going a lot faster.
- Ticktock.

Kid fucker.

[Sighs deeply]

- Hey.
- Hey.

You looked stressed.

I do?

- How was your day?
- Good.

How'd it go at the doctor?

Good.
It's healing.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Crying]

The world's messed up.

So much ugly shit happens.

I don't know.
Kev and V and--

I trust you.

That's bigger to me
than "I love you."

It's a bigger deal.

I trust you.

[Alan Yates Band's
Place In The Sun]

♪ ♪

[Chuckles, sniffles]

♪ ♪

♪ I don't wanna be jealous ♪

♪ I want to be happy for you ♪

♪ I don't wanna be petty ♪

200?

No reason to waste
a perfectly good grave.

♪ I'm searching
for my place in the sun ♪

♪ I'm reaching out for warm ♪

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com