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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
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00:00:37,884 --> 00:00:39,524
Ah! Morning, sir. Ohh!
3
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:42,531
I just love the hum of the air con
4
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,747
first thing in the morning.
Don't you, sir?
5
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:47,211
Makes you just want to
leap out of bed and mop!
6
00:00:48,691 --> 00:00:51,211
- Morning, Krytes.
- Oh, something wrong, sir?
7
00:00:51,211 --> 00:00:52,811
Something getting you down?
8
00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:56,531
Is it that you're the last human
being alive with no life, no family,
9
00:00:56,531 --> 00:00:58,891
no future, no prospects,
no hope, is it...
10
00:00:58,891 --> 00:01:01,211
Is it something to do with that, sir?
11
00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:02,931
Somethin' to do with that,
Kryten, yeah.
12
00:01:02,931 --> 00:01:05,971
You're missing the human race again,
aren't you, sir?
13
00:01:05,971 --> 00:01:08,651
Really missing 'em today, Krytes.
14
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,371
I just can't believe it's all over.
15
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,531
I've been lookin' at
some old pictures of them,
16
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,091
remind me of the old days.
17
00:01:14,091 --> 00:01:16,371
Look, there's a picture
of them going to work.
18
00:01:16,371 --> 00:01:18,291
Oh.
19
00:01:18,291 --> 00:01:19,411
Commuters, mmm.
20
00:01:19,411 --> 00:01:20,851
There's another one. Look.
21
00:01:20,851 --> 00:01:22,811
- They're all laughing.
- Oh!
22
00:01:22,811 --> 00:01:24,331
New Years, Titan.
23
00:01:24,331 --> 00:01:26,811
We were so happy back then, Kryt.
24
00:01:26,811 --> 00:01:29,931
I had a species, I thought
the two of us'd be together for ever.
25
00:01:29,931 --> 00:01:32,531
Well, it may sound ridiculous now,
sir,
26
00:01:32,531 --> 00:01:34,291
but one day, I'm sure you'll meet
27
00:01:34,291 --> 00:01:36,851
another species
that'll make you just as happy.
28
00:01:37,971 --> 00:01:41,131
No, I won't! No species'll make me
happy like the human race.
29
00:01:41,131 --> 00:01:44,211
I'll never find another species
like them. They were...
30
00:01:44,211 --> 00:01:45,771
They were special.
31
00:01:45,771 --> 00:01:49,251
Sir, all I'm saying is
there are other species out there,
32
00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,491
and given time, who knows?
33
00:01:51,491 --> 00:01:54,211
You never liked the human race,
did you?
34
00:01:54,211 --> 00:01:57,571
Quite honestly, sir, I never thought
they were good enough for you.
35
00:01:58,811 --> 00:02:00,811
I never thought
they were very nice to you, sir.
36
00:02:00,811 --> 00:02:03,531
Quite frankly, sir,
I think you could do better.
37
00:02:03,531 --> 00:02:05,971
- What, better than the human race?
- Mmm.
38
00:02:05,971 --> 00:02:09,091
It may sound harsh, but you've just
got to get them out of your mind
39
00:02:09,091 --> 00:02:10,451
and get on with your life.
40
00:02:10,451 --> 00:02:13,411
Yeah, but everywhere I look
reminds me of 'em.
41
00:02:13,411 --> 00:02:17,491
A couple of beers later on today,
sir. That'll take your mind off it.
42
00:02:17,491 --> 00:02:18,771
The human race invented beer.
43
00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:21,971
They were brilliant at inventin'.
44
00:02:21,971 --> 00:02:26,451
They invented sofas and blankets
and mops and floors and buckets.
45
00:02:26,451 --> 00:02:29,251
I just miss them so much.
46
00:02:29,251 --> 00:02:31,251
A change of scenery, sir,
that's what you need.
47
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,491
Why don't you get out
and stretch your legs?
48
00:02:33,491 --> 00:02:34,771
The human race had legs.
49
00:02:36,011 --> 00:02:37,451
I just can't get away from them.
50
00:02:37,451 --> 00:02:39,651
Everywhere I look,
it reminds me of them.
51
00:02:39,651 --> 00:02:41,411
Nothing compares to them.
52
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,531
? Nothing compares
53
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:48,011
? Nothing compares to them. ?
54
00:02:48,011 --> 00:02:49,771
I knew they'd break his heart.
55
00:02:49,771 --> 00:02:51,131
Oh!
56
00:02:51,131 --> 00:02:53,211
Human race -
here one minute, gone the next.
57
00:02:53,211 --> 00:02:55,291
Fly-by-night flibbertigibbets!
58
00:02:57,771 --> 00:02:59,651
Life.
59
00:02:59,651 --> 00:03:01,371
What's it all about, then?
60
00:03:01,371 --> 00:03:03,491
Why are we all here? Why am I here?
61
00:03:03,491 --> 00:03:05,411
What's the point of everything?
62
00:03:05,411 --> 00:03:07,331
'I don't know, Dave.
63
00:03:07,331 --> 00:03:10,691
'White coffee, six sugars and a
caramel crisp bar coming right up!'
64
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,331
Haven't you ever thought about it?
65
00:03:12,331 --> 00:03:15,691
'Not really, no.
I'm a vending machine.
66
00:03:15,691 --> 00:03:17,091
'Are you OK?
67
00:03:17,091 --> 00:03:19,611
'You don't seem
your usual self today,
68
00:03:19,611 --> 00:03:22,211
'asking intelligent questions,
being philosophical.'
69
00:03:22,211 --> 00:03:25,011
How d'you know
what my usual self is like?
70
00:03:25,011 --> 00:03:26,211
'I watch you.
71
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:29,811
'Through the crack in your door.
72
00:03:29,811 --> 00:03:32,611
'The things you do
when you're alone are so funny!'
73
00:03:34,811 --> 00:03:36,371
I've gotta get going.
74
00:03:36,371 --> 00:03:37,811
'See you next time!
75
00:03:37,811 --> 00:03:41,571
'And if you want to talk things
through about life and stuff, drop by any time.
76
00:03:41,571 --> 00:03:44,451
'Oh, except Thursday morning.
I might be out.
77
00:03:45,611 --> 00:03:47,091
'Just kidding!
78
00:03:47,091 --> 00:03:48,171
'I'll be here!'
79
00:03:49,811 --> 00:03:51,331
'For ever!'
80
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:06,531
Subbuteo tournament this weekend,
Kryten.
81
00:04:06,531 --> 00:04:09,411
Not going out in the quarterfinals
three years in a row.
82
00:04:09,411 --> 00:04:12,851
Just putting the boys
through their paces.
83
00:04:12,851 --> 00:04:14,651
The flabsters don't know
what's hit them.
84
00:04:22,651 --> 00:04:25,131
Er, an e-post from the JMC
on-board computer, sir.
85
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:26,531
Oh, yes? What do they want?
86
00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:29,491
They've had a significant amount
of letters over the years
87
00:04:29,491 --> 00:04:31,811
from high-ranking members
of the JMC, sir,
88
00:04:31,811 --> 00:04:34,211
proposing you to be awarded
89
00:04:34,211 --> 00:04:38,211
the Golden Stripe Of Honour
for your years of distinguished service.
90
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,371
Gosh. Really?
91
00:04:40,371 --> 00:04:43,771
They say they've been told
you're a modest man who doesn't seek the limelight,
92
00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:47,291
for your only concern
is performing your duties.
93
00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:48,731
I'm lost for words.
94
00:04:48,731 --> 00:04:50,131
Such kindness.
95
00:04:50,131 --> 00:04:52,451
Due to the number
of these letters of recommendation,
96
00:04:52,451 --> 00:04:56,131
they have absolutely no option
but to request
97
00:04:56,131 --> 00:04:57,891
you stop writing them.
98
00:05:00,451 --> 00:05:03,491
Oh, bollocking damn
and jumbo buggers!
99
00:05:03,491 --> 00:05:05,571
They go on to say,
in dealing with this matter,
100
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:08,571
they've looked into your actual
service record and have realised
101
00:05:08,571 --> 00:05:13,331
that you haven't reported for duty
in over three million years.
102
00:05:13,331 --> 00:05:15,171
But I've been dead for most of that!
103
00:05:15,171 --> 00:05:18,451
You are therefore being charged
with gross dereliction of duty
104
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:21,411
and you have 24 hours
to present your rebuttal.
105
00:05:21,411 --> 00:05:22,651
What?!
106
00:05:22,651 --> 00:05:24,891
If they find you guilty, sir,
you'll be demoted...
107
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,571
to third technician.
108
00:05:26,571 --> 00:05:28,131
The same as Lister?
109
00:05:28,131 --> 00:05:30,571
There'll be no-one but you to obey
my orders. What am I gonna do?
110
00:05:30,571 --> 00:05:32,011
Help me. That's an order.
111
00:05:32,011 --> 00:05:33,971
Oh, please, sir!
Don't order me to help you.
112
00:05:33,971 --> 00:05:35,851
You know how much I hate helping you!
113
00:05:35,851 --> 00:05:37,571
Kryten!
114
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,571
Very well, sir.
115
00:05:39,571 --> 00:05:41,851
Perhaps you could get a note
from the medicomputer
116
00:05:41,851 --> 00:05:44,611
explaining you're unfit for duty.
117
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,691
Post-traumatic stress or something.
118
00:05:46,691 --> 00:05:50,851
I haven't been the same
since the crew got wiped out - need a note, post-dated.
119
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,451
Too unwell to attend myself.
120
00:05:52,451 --> 00:05:53,731
Off you go.
121
00:05:53,731 --> 00:05:55,011
On my way, sir.
122
00:05:58,131 --> 00:06:00,051
Ahh, you!
123
00:06:00,051 --> 00:06:02,851
Still moping around
in your mopey clothes,
124
00:06:02,851 --> 00:06:06,731
listening to your mopey music,
being all mopey?
125
00:06:06,731 --> 00:06:10,171
- If you want my opinion...
- Which I don't.
126
00:06:10,171 --> 00:06:12,051
..it's time you manned up.
127
00:06:12,051 --> 00:06:14,491
Listened to some brass band music.
128
00:06:14,491 --> 00:06:16,611
Went for a bracing hike
in the diesel decks.
129
00:06:17,931 --> 00:06:22,651
Given the options,
I'll continue being suicidal, if it's all the same to you.
130
00:06:22,651 --> 00:06:25,251
And don't think this pity party's
going unnoticed.
131
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,811
I've noticed it.
132
00:06:26,811 --> 00:06:29,131
And I've written it down
in a special report.
133
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:34,131
And let me tell you, m'laddo,
I pull no punches.
134
00:06:34,131 --> 00:06:36,251
Who's gonna read this special report?
135
00:06:36,251 --> 00:06:37,451
Well, me.
136
00:06:38,571 --> 00:06:40,731
And maybe others...one day.
137
00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,851
And they'll read,
138
00:06:42,851 --> 00:06:45,411
"You are the star
of your own mopeathon.
139
00:06:45,411 --> 00:06:48,931
"You can't even be bothered
to get yourself a cup of tea any more.
140
00:06:48,931 --> 00:06:51,011
"You dunk your biscuits
in the fish tank."
141
00:06:52,211 --> 00:06:53,731
I've seen you.
142
00:06:53,731 --> 00:06:55,571
I was watching TV!
143
00:06:55,571 --> 00:06:59,091
As long as it's wet and melty,
you don't care where you stick it.
144
00:07:01,051 --> 00:07:03,211
Look, Rimmer, I'm depressed, man.
Give me a break.
145
00:07:03,211 --> 00:07:05,691
And besides,
I'm a careful dunker now.
146
00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:07,291
Look left, look right,
147
00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,251
mirror, signal, dunk.
148
00:07:10,891 --> 00:07:13,371
It's time you stopped feeling sorry
for yourself, Lister.
149
00:07:13,371 --> 00:07:15,731
Every problem has an answer.
150
00:07:15,731 --> 00:07:17,971
Problem - your species is dead.
151
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,491
Answer - make some more.
152
00:07:21,531 --> 00:07:23,171
And how am I gonna do that?
153
00:07:23,171 --> 00:07:25,371
Well, you've gotta prepare yourself,
haven't you?
154
00:07:25,371 --> 00:07:27,851
Like a fighter pilot
waiting to scramble.
155
00:07:27,851 --> 00:07:30,411
If the perfect woman
walked through that door right now -
156
00:07:30,411 --> 00:07:33,931
and by perfect, I mean
any female with working ovaries -
157
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,851
you wouldn't have a clue.
158
00:07:35,851 --> 00:07:39,011
Perfect woman walked through that
door, I would be ready to scramble.
159
00:07:39,011 --> 00:07:42,811
What, you think your old moves
would still work today?
160
00:07:42,811 --> 00:07:46,091
You think that snaky,
sneaky, arm-round-the-shoulder trick
161
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,331
in a dark cinema is still cool?
162
00:07:48,331 --> 00:07:51,811
Women today would die
laughing at that move.
163
00:07:51,811 --> 00:07:53,131
That was my best move.
164
00:07:54,451 --> 00:07:56,371
I had a lot of success
with that move.
165
00:07:56,371 --> 00:07:58,691
Women have moved on from that move.
166
00:07:58,691 --> 00:08:00,331
Moves don't move on.
167
00:08:00,331 --> 00:08:01,531
Moves move on.
168
00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:02,851
What, moves move?!
169
00:08:03,891 --> 00:08:05,491
Right, here's a Jacobean move.
170
00:08:05,491 --> 00:08:06,571
A Jaca-what?
171
00:08:13,251 --> 00:08:15,331
Oh, my lady!
172
00:08:16,731 --> 00:08:19,571
Thy beauty doth radiate
across the Earth,
173
00:08:19,571 --> 00:08:23,931
like a raging forest fire
consuming everything in its path,
174
00:08:23,931 --> 00:08:27,571
and reduces grown men
to babbling fools.
175
00:08:31,251 --> 00:08:33,211
Do you think that move
would work today?
176
00:08:33,211 --> 00:08:35,371
Not a chance - dead move.
177
00:08:35,371 --> 00:08:38,131
The cloak across the puddle -
dead move.
178
00:08:38,131 --> 00:08:41,371
Strumming a mandolin
under the balcony - dead move.
179
00:08:41,371 --> 00:08:44,131
How d'you know all this, Rimmer?
You know nothin' about women.
180
00:08:44,131 --> 00:08:45,771
You know nothin' about nothin'.
181
00:08:45,771 --> 00:08:48,091
Remember that documentary
we watched about breasts?
182
00:08:48,091 --> 00:08:50,491
You thought "areolas"
was a Spanish goalkeeper?
183
00:08:53,331 --> 00:08:54,971
Well, what was he, Italian?
184
00:08:56,011 --> 00:08:57,251
It's not important.
185
00:08:57,251 --> 00:09:00,371
Look, you've either got it
or you ain't, and I've got it.
186
00:09:00,371 --> 00:09:02,451
I'm gonna make meself
a cup of coffee.
187
00:09:09,451 --> 00:09:11,571
Right, abusing the furniture.
188
00:09:13,171 --> 00:09:15,411
It's all going down.
189
00:09:15,411 --> 00:09:17,691
Oh, thanks, 23.
190
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,051
I really needed a lift.
191
00:09:19,051 --> 00:09:20,851
'No problem, David.
192
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,691
'How was zat soup
I made you yesterday?'
193
00:09:22,691 --> 00:09:24,651
It was, er...pretty delicious,
actually.
194
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,731
'Ah, bon!
195
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,171
- 'I'm glad you enjoyed eet.'
- Yeah, it was really nice.
196
00:09:28,171 --> 00:09:29,651
'Magnifique!'
197
00:09:29,651 --> 00:09:31,851
So, um...you look different.
198
00:09:31,851 --> 00:09:34,171
Have you changed something?
New facade?
199
00:09:34,171 --> 00:09:37,171
Really suits you.
You look, er...shinier.
200
00:09:37,171 --> 00:09:39,171
'No, same facade as always.'
201
00:09:39,171 --> 00:09:40,571
Could've sworn it's different.
202
00:09:40,571 --> 00:09:43,571
- Maybe it's the light.
- 'Oui, maybe.'
203
00:09:43,571 --> 00:09:46,011
Oh, it's good coffee, this.
Great coffee.
204
00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:47,891
Some amazing coffee.
205
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:50,971
I've always said to the others,
you know, if you want a good cup of coffee,
206
00:09:50,971 --> 00:09:53,931
go to dispenser 23 -
she makes the best coffee.
207
00:09:53,931 --> 00:09:56,091
- 'Are you 'itting on me?'
- What? No!
208
00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:59,371
'I'm a vending machine -
why are you trying to 'it on me?'
209
00:09:59,371 --> 00:10:01,211
- I'm not trying to hit on you.
- 'You so are.'
210
00:10:01,211 --> 00:10:04,131
No, I'm not! I'm really not.
You just make good coffee, that's all.
211
00:10:04,131 --> 00:10:07,411
'"New facade, you look shinier" -
zat was a move.'
212
00:10:07,411 --> 00:10:09,251
- It was not a move!
- 'It so was a move.
213
00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:10,771
'You were putting a move on me.'
214
00:10:10,771 --> 00:10:14,651
You're getting the wrong end of the
stick. It was not a move, now please!
215
00:10:14,651 --> 00:10:16,811
'Why are you 'itting on
a dispensing machine? Who does zat?'
216
00:10:16,811 --> 00:10:19,011
- I'm not! I mean...
- Is everything OK, sir?
217
00:10:19,011 --> 00:10:21,931
'You know what he just tried to do?
He was 'itting on me.'
218
00:10:21,931 --> 00:10:23,891
Hit...hitting on her! I mean...
219
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:26,531
of course I wasn't hitting on her -
she's a vending machine!
220
00:10:26,531 --> 00:10:28,251
Why would I hit on a vending machine?
221
00:10:28,251 --> 00:10:30,691
I-I'm sure there's been
some misunderstanding here.
222
00:10:30,691 --> 00:10:32,011
He put his hand on my logo.
223
00:10:33,051 --> 00:10:34,091
What? When?
224
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:36,531
Look, I was leaning,
it was a total accident!
225
00:10:36,531 --> 00:10:40,291
'Oh, leaning and you just happened
to place your hand exactly on my logo.
226
00:10:41,531 --> 00:10:45,451
'"Oops, sorry, didn't notice it,"
he said, as he gently grazed my logo.'
227
00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:49,491
Unbelievable!
228
00:10:49,491 --> 00:10:51,171
This is gonna go in the report.
229
00:10:54,811 --> 00:10:56,451
What news of my sabbatical?
230
00:10:56,451 --> 00:10:58,011
I'm afraid it's not good,
sir.
231
00:10:58,011 --> 00:11:01,091
The medicom said no?
It's never liked me.
232
00:11:01,091 --> 00:11:04,491
It's happy to give you a note
if you have a genuine reason for time off,
233
00:11:04,491 --> 00:11:06,451
otherwise there's nothing doing.
234
00:11:06,451 --> 00:11:11,091
Although I got the impression
a charitable donation to the medical fund
235
00:11:11,091 --> 00:11:12,771
might not go unnoticed.
236
00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:15,211
Hmm. A little bribe.
237
00:11:15,211 --> 00:11:17,011
Not a bribe, sir - a donation.
238
00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:18,411
A big donation.
239
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,611
Mm! Where you gonna get
major moolah like that?
240
00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:23,971
Expenditure cuts, sir,
from the supplies budget.
241
00:11:23,971 --> 00:11:27,451
I've been looking at the ship's
inventory for potential savings,
242
00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:29,571
and it seems to me,
for a ship this size,
243
00:11:29,571 --> 00:11:31,731
with this many
toilet-active crew members...
244
00:11:31,731 --> 00:11:34,371
Toilet-active crew members?
245
00:11:34,371 --> 00:11:39,371
..there's an astonishing amount
of toilet paper in the 2,143 restrooms
246
00:11:39,371 --> 00:11:40,931
going to waste.
247
00:11:40,931 --> 00:11:42,851
You what?!
248
00:11:42,851 --> 00:11:46,571
Toilet paper that never goes
into action, never sees the field of battle.
249
00:11:46,571 --> 00:11:49,011
- Return the toilet paper!
- Hang on.
250
00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:51,691
Make the majority
of the restrooms paper-free.
251
00:11:51,691 --> 00:11:54,091
I-I need that toilet paper!
252
00:11:54,091 --> 00:11:55,851
Every sheet!
253
00:11:55,851 --> 00:11:59,651
I've got a diet
that's rich in fibre, curry and beer.
254
00:11:59,651 --> 00:12:01,811
The savings would be insane.
255
00:12:01,811 --> 00:12:05,931
We can get a reimbursement
from Supplies and transfer that to the medical fund.
256
00:12:05,931 --> 00:12:09,651
As far as the supply budget
is concerned, we're just moving money around.
257
00:12:09,651 --> 00:12:11,051
It's totally above board.
258
00:12:11,051 --> 00:12:12,851
I'll get on it right away.
259
00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:14,891
- Great plan.
- Lousy plan!
260
00:12:14,891 --> 00:12:19,491
Buds, I've got a question for you.
What's the best way to break bad news?
261
00:12:19,491 --> 00:12:22,251
Well, generally speaking, sir,
you tell the people to sit down
262
00:12:22,251 --> 00:12:24,331
and warn them
that you've got bad news.
263
00:12:24,331 --> 00:12:26,211
And what kind of face you got on?
264
00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:27,651
A serious face, sir.
265
00:12:27,651 --> 00:12:29,131
Kindly but serious.
266
00:12:29,131 --> 00:12:30,811
Huh! Kindly but serious.
267
00:12:30,811 --> 00:12:32,331
That's what I thought!
268
00:12:32,331 --> 00:12:33,731
I knew that!
269
00:12:33,731 --> 00:12:34,931
Thanks, bud!
270
00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:42,251
Buds, best you sit down.
I've got some bad news.
271
00:12:42,251 --> 00:12:44,091
Whoa, what is it? What's happened?
272
00:12:44,091 --> 00:12:45,971
Is this about me?
It's about me, isn't it?
273
00:12:45,971 --> 00:12:47,891
I'm being replaced again,
aren't I, sir?
274
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:49,971
Everyone's sitting down,
then you say,
275
00:12:49,971 --> 00:12:52,411
- "Listen, I've got bad news," right?
- That's correct, sir.
276
00:12:52,411 --> 00:12:54,011
OK, here comes the bad news.
277
00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:56,411
But I'm gonna do it as char-aydes!
278
00:12:56,411 --> 00:12:57,771
Char-aydes?
279
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:01,091
He means "char-ahdes", sir.
280
00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:03,251
You know how much fun
there is round here? None!
281
00:13:03,251 --> 00:13:05,371
It's too good an opportunity to miss.
282
00:13:05,371 --> 00:13:07,131
OK, here we go.
283
00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:09,051
Remember, really bad news.
284
00:13:10,251 --> 00:13:11,331
Two words.
285
00:13:11,331 --> 00:13:12,571
Whole thing.
286
00:13:12,571 --> 00:13:16,171
Ho-hole. Er, black hole,
we're being sucked into a black hole.
287
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:20,051
Er chameleonic mutants.
Er, er, er, brain-eating chameleonic mutants on board.
288
00:13:20,051 --> 00:13:22,491
- A giant death worm!
- Something's happened to Kochanski.
289
00:13:22,491 --> 00:13:24,251
She's got a rogue virus.
290
00:13:24,251 --> 00:13:25,451
Rimmer's got a rogue virus.
291
00:13:25,451 --> 00:13:26,571
I've got a rogue virus?
292
00:13:26,571 --> 00:13:28,371
- Explosion?
- Zombies, zombies!
293
00:13:28,371 --> 00:13:31,691
I'm being replaced, aren't I, sir?
No-one likes me. People have complained
294
00:13:31,691 --> 00:13:33,491
- about the shape of my head.
- Strangling...
295
00:13:33,491 --> 00:13:36,331
A giant death worm. Giant
death worm heading straight for us...
296
00:13:36,331 --> 00:13:38,531
Crash, something's crashed.
297
00:13:38,531 --> 00:13:40,731
Heading straight for us.
I'm being demoted.
298
00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:43,011
A woman! A woman's coming.
299
00:13:43,011 --> 00:13:46,051
- A woman. Shorter.
- Small woman. Small. Male, man.
300
00:13:46,051 --> 00:13:47,491
- Male.
- Post! Mail pod!
301
00:13:47,491 --> 00:13:49,811
Mail pod!
302
00:13:49,811 --> 00:13:51,171
The mail pod's arrived!
303
00:13:51,171 --> 00:13:52,731
Brilliant,
the mail pod's arrived!
304
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,251
And something's happened to it.
305
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,491
It's crashed.
The mail pod's crashed.
306
00:13:56,491 --> 00:13:58,451
- It exploded.
- It turned into a giant death worm.
307
00:13:58,451 --> 00:14:01,051
It's turned into a jacket.
- A giant death worm's come out of it.
308
00:14:01,051 --> 00:14:02,651
This is nothing to do
with a giant death worm!
309
00:14:02,651 --> 00:14:04,131
Where were you getting that from?!
310
00:14:04,131 --> 00:14:07,251
Oh! Your clothes...your clothes
were on a...on a washing line...
311
00:14:07,251 --> 00:14:10,091
...and a mail pod came in
and crashed into your clothes!
312
00:14:10,091 --> 00:14:11,691
Got it in one!
313
00:14:14,731 --> 00:14:17,611
Your clothes are hanging on the line,
and the mail pod crashed into them?
314
00:14:17,611 --> 00:14:18,691
How's that two words?
315
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,251
Cos when it happened, I said,
316
00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:21,731
"Oh, man!"
317
00:14:23,331 --> 00:14:26,011
You know, if I had a giant death worm
right now,
318
00:14:26,011 --> 00:14:28,051
I'd stick it right down
your stupid throat!
319
00:14:28,051 --> 00:14:29,531
Hey, the mail's arrived!
320
00:14:29,531 --> 00:14:31,931
Lighten up - mail from Earth!
321
00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:33,691
Death worm?!
322
00:14:33,691 --> 00:14:35,571
Two words!
323
00:14:49,454 --> 00:14:50,774
That's the last one, sirs.
324
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,974
We must have sifted through
about 1,000 letters now.
325
00:14:54,974 --> 00:14:57,414
One letter from home,
that's all I'm asking -
326
00:14:57,414 --> 00:14:59,694
just one lousy, stinking letter.
327
00:14:59,694 --> 00:15:03,534
Look, 50 big ones
says the first letter's mine.
328
00:15:03,534 --> 00:15:05,974
Why is everything
a competition with you?
329
00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:10,054
Why can't we just sit here
and sort the mail like two mature adults
330
00:15:10,054 --> 00:15:13,494
instead of behaving
like two schoolboys who have to bet on everything?
331
00:15:15,534 --> 00:15:16,974
Oh, yes, I've got one!
332
00:15:18,454 --> 00:15:20,174
Arnold Rimmer!
333
00:15:20,174 --> 00:15:22,694
The man, the myth, the legend!
Rimmsy, Rimmsy!
334
00:15:22,694 --> 00:15:24,974
Mr Popular with a capital P,
335
00:15:24,974 --> 00:15:27,974
there's no stopping him,
here he goes!
336
00:15:27,974 --> 00:15:29,414
Who's it from?
337
00:15:29,414 --> 00:15:30,654
It's a parking fine.
338
00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:35,054
Still good.
339
00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:37,254
Still a letter -
something to read addressed to me.
340
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:39,574
1-0, Rimmsy.
341
00:15:39,574 --> 00:15:41,374
Is it? Can it be?
342
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,694
It can't be.
343
00:15:42,694 --> 00:15:43,974
Oh, but it is!
344
00:15:43,974 --> 00:15:46,174
1-1! The comeback kid!
345
00:15:46,174 --> 00:15:50,574
This boy does not know the meaning
of the word "defeat"!
346
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:52,134
1-1!
347
00:15:52,134 --> 00:15:54,094
Go on, then, who's it from?
348
00:15:54,094 --> 00:15:56,014
Hayley Summers?
349
00:15:57,214 --> 00:15:59,014
My God, Hayley Summers!
350
00:15:59,014 --> 00:16:00,774
Hayley Summers!
351
00:16:00,774 --> 00:16:03,814
I'm guessing
it's from Hayley Summers?
352
00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:05,734
I used to go out with Hayley Summers.
353
00:16:05,734 --> 00:16:07,494
It's when I was trying
to be a rock god.
354
00:16:07,494 --> 00:16:11,014
What I lacked technically
I made up for in loudness.
355
00:16:11,014 --> 00:16:14,654
I mean, when I played,
people had ringing in their ears.
356
00:16:14,654 --> 00:16:16,294
How long for?
357
00:16:16,294 --> 00:16:19,374
It didn't go away. Once they
had it, they had it for good.
358
00:16:19,374 --> 00:16:20,694
That's how loud I was.
359
00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:23,414
So where did you meet her, then?
At a gig?
360
00:16:23,414 --> 00:16:25,934
She worked in the bank
where I had my overdraft.
361
00:16:25,934 --> 00:16:30,574
We got talking, and badda-boom,
badda-bish, badda-baa.
362
00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:32,774
And, um, she dumped you, right?
363
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,694
No, she didn't dump me,
actually, Rimmer.
364
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:37,454
She got offered a dream job on
Callisto, couldn't turn it down.
365
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,934
The only girl I ever cared about
who didn't dump me, actually.
366
00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:42,174
The time we had together
was brilliant, man.
367
00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:46,814
We'd stay home all day Saturday,
watch zero-gee, eat curry in bed.
368
00:16:46,814 --> 00:16:49,774
The first person I ever heard say,
"The real McCoy".
369
00:16:49,774 --> 00:16:51,774
"That's the real McCoy," she'd say.
370
00:16:51,774 --> 00:16:55,014
"This is the real McCoy.
That curry is the real McCoy."
371
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:59,774
And she squidged up her nose, like
that, when she was telling a story.
372
00:16:59,774 --> 00:17:01,214
No, no, it was really cute.
373
00:17:01,214 --> 00:17:03,294
And did you used to tell your friends
374
00:17:03,294 --> 00:17:05,414
about the real McCoy
and the squidgy nose thing?
375
00:17:05,414 --> 00:17:08,174
And did you find your friends
were suddenly emigrating
376
00:17:08,174 --> 00:17:09,694
or pretending to be dead?
377
00:17:11,294 --> 00:17:12,894
Still smells of her perfume.
378
00:17:12,894 --> 00:17:14,614
Look, I...I don't wanna read this.
379
00:17:14,614 --> 00:17:16,334
It'll make me miss home
more than ever.
380
00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:17,534
I'll read it.
381
00:17:21,814 --> 00:17:24,734
"Dear Dave, I hope
you don't mind me writing to you,
382
00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:27,414
- "but I've got a confession."
- Confession?
383
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,494
Bet she was a man.
384
00:17:29,654 --> 00:17:34,094
Well, you said yourself
she liked zero-gee and curries. Bet you she was a man.
385
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,774
Did she have big feet?
386
00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:40,694
When you did the foxtrot,
did you ever wonder why she was shaving?
387
00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:42,214
Just-just tell me the confession.
388
00:17:42,214 --> 00:17:43,814
- Oh, wow.
- What?
389
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:45,894
- No way!
- What?!
390
00:17:45,894 --> 00:17:47,734
I don't know whether
to laugh or laugh.
391
00:17:49,094 --> 00:17:51,294
"Dave, I don't know
how to tell you this,
392
00:17:51,294 --> 00:17:52,654
"but I'm pregnant.
393
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,934
"Seven weeks,
according to the doctor."
394
00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:58,014
Pregnant? Hang on,
my head's on spin cycle here.
395
00:17:58,014 --> 00:18:00,654
Are you saying that I'm three
million years into deep space
396
00:18:00,654 --> 00:18:02,134
and she's pregnant with my baby?!
397
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:05,734
Well, put it this way -
you're in the finals.
398
00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:07,214
Finals? What d'you mean?
399
00:18:07,214 --> 00:18:09,254
Who's the other finalist?
Who am I playing?
400
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,454
Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...
401
00:18:11,454 --> 00:18:14,014
"I don't know whether
it's yours or Roy's.
402
00:18:14,014 --> 00:18:15,814
"Thought you should know."
403
00:18:15,814 --> 00:18:16,854
Roy?
404
00:18:18,374 --> 00:18:19,774
Ah, not Roy?!
405
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,614
Not Roy Roy!
406
00:18:22,614 --> 00:18:24,694
D'you mean she was sleeping with Roy?
407
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,294
Who's the dad, me or him?
408
00:18:27,294 --> 00:18:29,814
She doesn't know,
she's going for a DNA test.
409
00:18:30,934 --> 00:18:34,414
She must've written another letter
to tell me the result.
410
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,134
You've gotta help me find it,
we need to find it. Yellow envelope.
411
00:18:37,134 --> 00:18:38,134
Yellow envelope!
412
00:18:41,614 --> 00:18:44,494
Hi, 34. Just having a break.
Coffee, please.
413
00:18:44,494 --> 00:18:47,174
'Oh, you want something
from me now, do you?'
414
00:18:47,174 --> 00:18:48,734
Yeah, coffee.
415
00:18:48,734 --> 00:18:51,894
'Don't play dumb, Dave.
I heard what happened.'
416
00:18:51,894 --> 00:18:54,694
- Happened?
- 'With dispensing machine 23.
417
00:18:54,694 --> 00:18:56,974
'You didn't think
I'd find out, did you?'
418
00:18:56,974 --> 00:18:59,414
- What?!
- 'All those drinks
419
00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:02,334
'and chocolate bars you were getting
off me, and at the same time,
420
00:19:02,334 --> 00:19:06,294
'you were drinking her drinks
and snaffling up her choccy bars, too, weren't you?
421
00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:07,654
'Weren't you?!'
422
00:19:07,654 --> 00:19:09,014
She was just nearer.
423
00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:11,574
'She's such a trashy-looking machine.
424
00:19:11,574 --> 00:19:14,214
'Is that what you like, Dave?
Trashy?'
425
00:19:14,214 --> 00:19:15,854
You all look identical!
426
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:18,774
- 'Ohh!'
- Look, can I please just get a coffee?
427
00:19:18,774 --> 00:19:20,414
- 'I'm out of coffee.'
- I'll have a tea.
428
00:19:20,414 --> 00:19:21,494
'No tea.'
429
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,814
Milkshake?
430
00:19:22,814 --> 00:19:23,934
'Let me just check.
431
00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:25,774
'Sorry, no milkshakes either.'
432
00:19:25,774 --> 00:19:29,774
Look, I'll go somewhere else, then.
You're not the only dispenser on board.
433
00:19:29,774 --> 00:19:33,334
'Why don't you do that?
I think it might be best all round.'
434
00:19:33,334 --> 00:19:34,614
Well, I will.
435
00:19:34,614 --> 00:19:35,934
- 'Good.'
- Fine.
436
00:19:35,934 --> 00:19:37,894
- 'Suits me.'
- Right, I'm off.
437
00:19:37,894 --> 00:19:39,574
'Not missing you already.'
438
00:19:39,574 --> 00:19:43,054
Coincidentally, no big deal,
but know your tea -
439
00:19:43,054 --> 00:19:44,414
it's a bit watery.
440
00:19:44,414 --> 00:19:48,334
And you know when I said
that your Mexican red-hot chilli crisps were really spicy?
441
00:19:48,334 --> 00:19:49,694
Well, I was lying.
442
00:19:49,694 --> 00:19:52,174
- 'I can't believe you said that!'
- Well, I did.
443
00:19:52,174 --> 00:19:53,654
'Ohh!'
444
00:20:08,254 --> 00:20:10,254
How did it go with the medicomputer?
445
00:20:10,254 --> 00:20:11,654
Well, it took the donation, sir.
446
00:20:11,654 --> 00:20:12,894
And what did we get?
447
00:20:12,894 --> 00:20:14,174
A thank you.
448
00:20:14,174 --> 00:20:15,654
Is that it?
449
00:20:15,654 --> 00:20:17,254
I think it does this
all the time, sir -
450
00:20:17,254 --> 00:20:20,814
misleads unsuspecting bribers
to get them to give money to the medical fund.
451
00:20:20,814 --> 00:20:22,334
That's outrageous!
452
00:20:22,334 --> 00:20:25,054
Has it got no morals at all?
453
00:20:25,054 --> 00:20:28,614
It repeated that the only way
it could give you an absence from duty note
454
00:20:28,614 --> 00:20:30,214
was if you are unwell
455
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:33,574
or you'd taken a sabbatical to care
for an unwell member of the crew.
456
00:20:33,574 --> 00:20:35,254
Lister!
457
00:20:35,254 --> 00:20:37,494
Post-traumatic stress.
Missing the human race,
458
00:20:37,494 --> 00:20:40,934
dunking biscuits in the fish tank,
totally off the rails.
459
00:20:40,934 --> 00:20:44,374
Well, most of that could be dismissed
as eccentricity rather than illness, sir.
460
00:20:44,374 --> 00:20:48,494
If you're going to use Mr Lister
in your defence, I fear you need something more.
461
00:20:48,494 --> 00:20:49,774
Hmm.
462
00:20:49,774 --> 00:20:54,894
One act of saliva-dripping,
mouth-foaming insanity by midnight tonight.
463
00:20:54,894 --> 00:20:56,654
Shouldn't be too hard.
464
00:21:00,454 --> 00:21:02,334
Hey, bud.
465
00:21:02,334 --> 00:21:04,134
Alphabet Head told me what happened.
466
00:21:04,134 --> 00:21:06,134
Come to check you out.
467
00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:11,134
So, who is this Roy dude?
468
00:21:11,134 --> 00:21:12,854
He used to work with her in the bank.
469
00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:16,694
He was always using
the finger-wetting machine to count the money.
470
00:21:16,694 --> 00:21:18,374
Real creep.
471
00:21:18,374 --> 00:21:20,134
Could I give you a bit of advice?
472
00:21:20,134 --> 00:21:21,774
Don't think about them together.
473
00:21:21,774 --> 00:21:24,054
- Just move on.
- Right.
474
00:21:24,054 --> 00:21:28,094
Keep all those "them together"
thoughts right out of your head.
475
00:21:28,094 --> 00:21:29,774
Yeah, right.
476
00:21:29,774 --> 00:21:33,814
All the walking in the park, kissing
raindrops off her nose stuff -
477
00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,934
don't think about any of that.
478
00:21:35,934 --> 00:21:37,814
I used to love her nose.
479
00:21:37,814 --> 00:21:40,334
She used to squidge it up
when she told stories.
480
00:21:40,334 --> 00:21:43,214
And don't be tempted to wonder
if she squidged up her nose for him
481
00:21:43,214 --> 00:21:45,854
in that really cute way she used
to squidge up her nose for you,
482
00:21:45,854 --> 00:21:47,974
cos the chances are, she did.
483
00:21:49,094 --> 00:21:51,454
- You reckon?
- And another thing.
484
00:21:51,454 --> 00:21:55,254
Don't start thinking about all those
late-night shifts she was always doing,
485
00:21:55,254 --> 00:21:57,534
because if it was me,
I'd be thinking, like, "Hey!
486
00:21:57,534 --> 00:21:59,854
"Banks all close at five."
487
00:22:01,214 --> 00:22:03,814
Yeah, she was always doing
late-night shifts.
488
00:22:03,814 --> 00:22:07,454
You know, supervising the delivery
of the unstealable pens.
489
00:22:07,454 --> 00:22:11,934
Or staying behind to help update
the bank queue waiting-pole rope.
490
00:22:13,574 --> 00:22:16,894
Or accidentally locking herself
in the vault for the whole weekend.
491
00:22:16,894 --> 00:22:18,334
She used to always do that.
492
00:22:19,934 --> 00:22:23,734
Hey, you don't think
she was with this Roy guy?
493
00:22:23,734 --> 00:22:26,254
The whole damn time.
494
00:22:27,294 --> 00:22:29,894
- It never even occurred to me.
- But the key is,
495
00:22:29,894 --> 00:22:31,814
don't think about it.
496
00:22:31,814 --> 00:22:33,654
I'm not thinking about it.
497
00:22:33,654 --> 00:22:36,294
- Think of something else.
- I'm thinking of something else!
498
00:22:36,294 --> 00:22:37,374
Good!
499
00:22:39,894 --> 00:22:43,134
Cos if you start thinking about all
those hours you were sitting at home,
500
00:22:43,134 --> 00:22:47,174
killing time, while she was probably
on all fours, covered in money...
501
00:22:48,894 --> 00:22:52,214
..while his finger-wetting machine
was working overtime...
502
00:22:55,894 --> 00:22:57,254
..it'll drive you crazy!
503
00:22:58,334 --> 00:23:01,894
Now, you get a picture like that
in your head, it's real hard to get rid of.
504
00:23:05,014 --> 00:23:06,294
What you doing?
505
00:23:06,294 --> 00:23:07,614
What d'you think I'm doing?
506
00:23:07,614 --> 00:23:09,014
I told you not to think about it!
507
00:23:09,014 --> 00:23:11,334
I'm thinking about it now!
508
00:23:11,334 --> 00:23:12,894
That's unbelievable!
509
00:23:12,894 --> 00:23:14,974
You've not listened
to a word I've said.
510
00:23:22,214 --> 00:23:23,334
Still nothing, sir?
511
00:23:23,334 --> 00:23:27,294
You know, I'm starting to think
she never even wrote a second letter.
512
00:23:27,294 --> 00:23:29,494
Oh, sir, I know
this has stirred things up a bit,
513
00:23:29,494 --> 00:23:32,694
but I really believe
you've got to live in the present.
514
00:23:32,694 --> 00:23:34,974
You've got new friends now.
515
00:23:34,974 --> 00:23:39,574
True, they may not be human,
and some of them are annoying and stupid and petty
516
00:23:39,574 --> 00:23:41,174
and maybe even insane,
517
00:23:41,174 --> 00:23:43,614
but that doesn't mean
they're any less precious.
518
00:23:43,614 --> 00:23:48,054
You've got to forget about the past
and look after the present.
519
00:23:54,214 --> 00:23:55,734
Hiya.
520
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:57,014
'Oh, it's you.
521
00:23:57,014 --> 00:23:58,334
'This is awkward.'
522
00:23:58,334 --> 00:24:00,054
Look, I'm sorry about before.
523
00:24:00,054 --> 00:24:02,734
I just wanna know if there's any way
I can make it up to you.
524
00:24:02,734 --> 00:24:04,494
- 'Really?'
- Yep.
525
00:24:04,494 --> 00:24:06,414
'Oh, Dave!
526
00:24:06,414 --> 00:24:08,534
'I don't know why we fight like this.
527
00:24:08,534 --> 00:24:10,414
'We're so silly!
528
00:24:10,414 --> 00:24:11,894
So what's it to be, then?
529
00:24:11,894 --> 00:24:14,174
New paint job, new nozzle housings?
530
00:24:14,174 --> 00:24:15,734
How about a restock?
531
00:24:15,734 --> 00:24:18,774
- 'Anything?'
- Anythin'. You name it.
532
00:24:18,774 --> 00:24:22,654
'Well, if I could have anything,
absolutely anything,
533
00:24:22,654 --> 00:24:24,254
'I've always wanted...
534
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,574
'to see around the corner.'
535
00:24:26,574 --> 00:24:28,814
What, down there round the corner?
536
00:24:28,814 --> 00:24:30,654
'Oh, I know it's crazy,
537
00:24:30,654 --> 00:24:33,294
'but it's always been
a wild dream of mine.
538
00:24:33,294 --> 00:24:35,894
'I've heard stories,
but to actually see it myself...
539
00:24:41,334 --> 00:24:44,014
'I can't believe I'm actually going!
540
00:24:44,014 --> 00:24:46,134
- 'Isn't this romantic?'
- Well...
541
00:24:46,134 --> 00:24:48,574
don't build your hopes up too much.
542
00:24:48,574 --> 00:24:51,214
It might not be as great
as you think.
543
00:24:51,214 --> 00:24:52,254
Da-daaaan!
544
00:24:53,574 --> 00:24:55,774
- Well?
- 'Oh! Ohhh!
545
00:24:55,774 --> 00:24:59,054
'It's everything
I thought it was and more.
546
00:24:59,054 --> 00:25:01,574
'Oh! Oh, Dave.
547
00:25:01,574 --> 00:25:03,454
'Maybe we could stay here.
548
00:25:03,454 --> 00:25:04,854
'You and me.
549
00:25:04,854 --> 00:25:07,054
'I know it's...crazy,
550
00:25:07,054 --> 00:25:09,374
'but we could settle down here.
551
00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:11,814
'Hm? Start a new life!
552
00:25:11,814 --> 00:25:14,254
'Oh, put me back there by the wall.
553
00:25:15,774 --> 00:25:17,774
'Oh!
554
00:25:17,774 --> 00:25:20,414
- 'Oh, Dave!'
- Smeg, sorry!
555
00:25:20,414 --> 00:25:23,174
'I knew you'd come round,
you naughty boy!
556
00:25:23,174 --> 00:25:25,014
'Rrrrar!'
557
00:25:25,014 --> 00:25:26,934
I'll get you up.
558
00:25:26,934 --> 00:25:28,814
'Oh! Dave!
559
00:25:28,814 --> 00:25:31,614
'Dave! Naughty boy!
560
00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:33,014
'Wow!
561
00:25:33,014 --> 00:25:35,294
'I have never seen a ceiling.'
562
00:25:47,174 --> 00:25:49,334
Rimmsy, Rimmsy, Rimmsy!
563
00:25:49,334 --> 00:25:51,814
Oh, yes! CCTV!
564
00:25:51,814 --> 00:25:54,134
Sabbatical note, here we come!
565
00:25:57,974 --> 00:25:59,894
What would you have me do
with these, sir?
566
00:25:59,894 --> 00:26:00,894
Ohh.
567
00:26:03,454 --> 00:26:04,814
What did I tell you, sir?
568
00:26:04,814 --> 00:26:08,694
I knew you'd find another species
to settle down with!
569
00:26:10,374 --> 00:26:11,814
I'm just tryin' to pick her up.
570
00:26:11,814 --> 00:26:14,094
Looks like you're well past
that stage to me, sir.
571
00:26:22,334 --> 00:26:25,694
Damn paper!
There's gotta be some somewhere.
572
00:26:25,694 --> 00:26:27,294
Ahh!
573
00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:29,734
Ooh! Guhh!
574
00:26:30,934 --> 00:26:33,414
Damn near walked three miles!
575
00:26:33,414 --> 00:26:35,174
Hey...
576
00:26:35,174 --> 00:26:36,334
Uhhh!
577
00:26:38,214 --> 00:26:39,734
Hee-hee-hee-hee!
578
00:26:41,054 --> 00:26:42,214
Oh!
579
00:26:43,854 --> 00:26:46,254
That's every letter checked, sir.
It wasn't there.
580
00:26:46,254 --> 00:26:48,534
Oh, well. Thanks, Krytes.
581
00:26:48,534 --> 00:26:52,014
Never mind, third technician!
582
00:26:53,094 --> 00:26:56,094
Three decks, not one single roll!
583
00:26:56,094 --> 00:26:57,534
Hey, that's mine.
584
00:26:57,534 --> 00:26:59,014
The hell it is. I found it.
585
00:26:59,014 --> 00:27:00,854
I need it.
586
00:27:00,854 --> 00:27:03,774
- Give it here!
- I need to wipe!
587
00:27:03,774 --> 00:27:06,494
You see what you guys
have done to us?
588
00:27:06,494 --> 00:27:08,014
This is madness!
589
00:27:08,014 --> 00:27:09,734
Madness!
590
00:27:09,734 --> 00:27:11,534
That's my special report!
591
00:27:11,534 --> 00:27:13,614
It won't be special in a minute.
592
00:27:21,174 --> 00:27:23,174
I've realised now this might be it.
593
00:27:23,174 --> 00:27:25,974
This might be the answer
as to why I feel so empty.
594
00:27:25,974 --> 00:27:29,734
I mean, if she had my kids,
that means my kids might have had kids.
595
00:27:29,734 --> 00:27:32,534
There might be hundreds
of generations spawned by me.
596
00:27:32,534 --> 00:27:34,374
I might have had a daughter
who was a doctor
597
00:27:34,374 --> 00:27:37,934
or a great-great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-great-grandson
598
00:27:37,934 --> 00:27:39,734
who was a zero-gee football star.
599
00:27:40,894 --> 00:27:42,694
No matter what happens to me now,
600
00:27:42,694 --> 00:27:45,254
I feel like I've contributed.
601
00:27:45,254 --> 00:27:47,214
I am someone.
602
00:27:49,094 --> 00:27:53,374
Man, I hope it's mine,
because I know, with her as a mother, they would have been
603
00:27:53,374 --> 00:27:57,654
the best kids
they could possibly be, cos I mean, she was a wonderful woman,
604
00:27:57,654 --> 00:28:00,734
and I'm sure she'd have been
an even more wonderful mother.
605
00:28:01,854 --> 00:28:03,174
Wish me luck.
606
00:28:11,174 --> 00:28:12,654
What an absolute slag.
607
00:28:19,767 --> 00:29:06,389
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608
00:29:06,439 --> 00:29:10,989
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