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GARETH: Not terrorists, Angela.
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00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:06,639
Turds and cleaning fluids
in a lethal combination.
3
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,879
Not a terrorist attack, you say.
4
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:11,239
No. No worries on that front.
5
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:12,738
I mean, the Government
wants to do something
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00:00:12,739 --> 00:00:17,159
about reforming mental health,
and I want you to be part of it.
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- (GUNSHOT)
- (SCREAMS)
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Are you telling me that there is not
a single account in this place
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- that you can open for me?
- No, sir.
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00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,879
OK, what about your
Tiny Tycoon Super Saver?
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I wouldn't want to be seen
coming here all the time,
12
00:00:29,637 --> 00:00:32,719
so perhaps we could meet for a coffee?
13
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Roy. Hey, haven't seen you in a while.
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Yeah, I know, mate. Look, I'm sorry.
15
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There's just not the same call
for lip-readers.
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It's a bit of a shame, but there you go.
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Let hell rain down!
18
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Dad promised it to me!
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Bullshit, he did!
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00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:49,959
A summons, who is it? Oh, let me guess.
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00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,759
- Penelope...
- Penelope Evans. Yes, yes.
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00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:57,151
Uh... can we expect to see more of
you around these parts?
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00:00:57,152 --> 00:01:00,146
Well, there's no shortage of people
with personal problems.
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00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:07,000
You know, Penny, I do so miss
the old courtroom.
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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GARETH: Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen,
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members of the press,
for your attendance.
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Now, I have just returned from
a brief visit with His Excellency
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the Governor-General of Australia,
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where he commissioned me
to form a new government
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as a result of last night's ballot
32
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,519
for the leadership of the
Federal Liberal Party.
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00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,319
Now, at this point, I would like to
pay a heartfelt and sincere tribute
34
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,439
to former Prime Minister Greg
Peters' bold 21 weeks in office.
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Well done, Greg.
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00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:22,039
But I must also say to you,
firmly and sincerely,
37
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:26,559
that I believe now is the time
for the great ship Australia
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to be steered back to a true
and steady course,
39
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,239
for this is truly not the time...
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00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,362
Oh, God.
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...for sectional or marginal interests.
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We are one nation.
We are one united Australia.
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WOMAN: Click on this link if you
want to learn more, Senator Greene.
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Ooh, Senator Greene.
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You know my name.
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Ah, good morning, Glenda.
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Enjoying your BuzzStay?
48
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,639
Oh. Oh, shit.
49
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,720
Oh... what?
50
00:03:03,721 --> 00:03:06,559
No, no, I just... I meant to close this,
51
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,599
but I clicked on the link instead of...
52
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:10,879
I meant to close something.
53
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,879
No, no, no. It's fine, I think.
54
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,559
That's fine, that's fine.
55
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,039
Uh, now. Cup of coffee.
56
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,359
Um... how did you sleep?
57
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I had sweet dreams,
if that's what you meant.
58
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,279
Yeah, no, I pretty much just meant,
"How did you sleep?"
59
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,999
How was... how was the snooze?
60
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,839
Bed comfy?
61
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,679
Comfortable, but a tad lonely.
62
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,013
Well, yeah, oh, well.
63
00:03:33,014 --> 00:03:37,599
Can we talk about our feelings?
There's no point bottling them up.
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Oh, well, I'm... I'm a bit of a fan
of the bottle-up, actually.
65
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,919
They're all saying that's...
that's the way to go these days.
66
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:49,399
My wife's a shrink, and she says
bottling up is very underrated.
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00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,839
Um... she's a big fan of the
bottle-up, as was Freud, apparently.
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00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,879
I'm sure we'll work it out.
Look, Glenda, I've, um...
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00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:01,319
I've just come out of a complicated,
long-term relationship, so...
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00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,759
I'm not talking about
a relationship, Cleaver.
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00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,999
I'm talking about intercourse.
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00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,479
Intercourse.
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00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,679
Sexual intercourse.
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00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,639
Yes, yes, I... Yes, that's...
75
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,399
Yeah. Can we...?
76
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- (GURGLING)
- I've... What's that noise?
77
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Will you just excuse me for
a moment, please, Glenda?
78
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(GURGLING)
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Oh, holy mother. How is that possible?
80
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,719
Oh, no!
81
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:35,119
Oh, fuck, don't... No, no, no, no!
82
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,879
Oh, no, no, no, no!
83
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,679
Oh, God! Fuck.
84
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:45,680
Cleaver! (SCREAMS)
85
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,599
- Cleaver.
- Yes?
86
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,279
Hey, Cleaver, Cleaver.
87
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,119
Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Yes.
I'm scared, Cleaver.
88
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,119
- Will you come with me?
- Look, uh...
89
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,919
Glenda, there's nothing I'd like more,
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00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,519
but I've really got to do a
spot of cleaning here,
91
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,359
and I've got to get up to Sydney
for this charity speech thingy.
92
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,479
- Ugh...
- Please be back by Friday.
93
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,879
I'll make it a night you'll never forget.
94
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,759
Oh... Does she need oxygen?
95
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,040
Ugh...
96
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,800
(MOANS)
97
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,079
The old girl alright?
98
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,999
Yeah, yeah, she'll be fine.
99
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,639
Mate, how is it possible
that something like that
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00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,679
can come out of someone as thin as that?
101
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,879
I mean, that's got to be
double her body weight.
102
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,999
Have you ever, ever seen a poo
that size before?
103
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,839
Oh, yeah. A few.
104
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,399
The thin ones, you know,
they're deceptive, they're...
105
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,039
(SIGHS) They're really the ones
you got to worry about, mate.
106
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,799
- They bottle it all up.
- Do they?
107
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Yeah, the fatties are more evenly spread.
108
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I had no idea.
109
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Oh, that's just science, mate.
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- Oh, bloody hell. It's you.
- What?
111
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,439
You're the senator
that stands for nothing.
112
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,319
Oh, yes, yes, yeah.
113
00:06:09,944 --> 00:06:12,719
I've done a bit of work
at parliament myself.
114
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,519
Well, you've done more than I have, then.
115
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The old parliament,
the one under the tarp.
116
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,199
I was probably the last bloke
in there, actually.
117
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,799
- Right, you were in there on the day?
- Few days later.
118
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They sent a plumber into a building
119
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,599
that had been attacked by terrorists
with toxic gas?
120
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,800
Why?
121
00:06:32,241 --> 00:06:35,119
Just had to iron out a few details.
122
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,839
What, toilet details?
123
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,679
I don't just work on toilets, mate.
124
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,599
I mean, why do people think
that we just work on toilets?
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00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,599
- That pisses me off.
- No. No offence.
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00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,799
But... so, sorry, they sent you in
after they put the tarp on?
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00:06:48,688 --> 00:06:50,399
Yeah, it's, you know...
128
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:54,159
Well, no, I don't know. Why?
What were you doing in there, mate?
129
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I mean...
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00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,759
You know, the thing was meant to be
a toxic wasteland.
131
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,519
Mate, do me a favour, alright?
132
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,799
This conversation, it never happened.
133
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,839
I'll give you 15% off.
134
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:09,159
- What?
- We done, bro?
135
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,559
- Yeah.
- Does that include GST?
136
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,999
You're going to need a pretty
heavy-hitting cleaner though, mate.
137
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,640
- (HORN HONKS)
- Oh, yes, of course.
138
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,279
Uh, so 15% off, yeah?
139
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,679
- Cash or card?
- Uh, well, let me just...
140
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,039
Cleaver, you need to be in Sydney
at 12:00.
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00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,159
- You're not even dressed.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, mate.
142
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,079
But look, there is a situation in there
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that you can't even imagine, and...
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00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,159
Come on.
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00:07:33,639 --> 00:07:35,039
Well, how much is this?
146
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,599
- How much is it, mate?
- $850.
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00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,479
$850? Fuck!
148
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,039
But then there's the 15% off.
149
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,119
No, that includes the 15% off. And GST.
150
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,799
Are you kidding me?
151
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,719
My father always told me
I should be a plumber.
152
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,440
Very well.
153
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,919
But I would appreciate a favour today.
154
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,559
(MEOW)
155
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:03,600
My cat is not well, as you know,
and it's causing me despair.
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00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,279
(SNEEZES)
157
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,839
Bless you.
158
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:25,159
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
159
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:29,400
Press the receiver button
on the steering wheel.
160
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,559
Senator Greene speaking.
161
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,879
Why are you answering your car phone?
162
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,319
Uh, well, mate, a bit of
a complicated situation.
163
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,599
Word is you've had, uh,
quite the morning.
164
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,839
Yes, you could say that.
165
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,319
- Plumbing problems.
- Uh, yes.
166
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,079
How do you know about
my plumbing problem?
167
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,200
We're the government.
168
00:08:50,201 --> 00:08:53,679
Look, I was calling 'cause I was
wondering if you needed any help.
169
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:55,799
You are a valued crossbencher.
170
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,399
Oh, well, you could pay the bill, mate.
171
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,039
That's not going to happen.
172
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,079
OK, then, there's nothing you can do.
173
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,839
Well, we do have a list of
recommended plumbers.
174
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,119
They'll give you 15% off.
175
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,319
Yes, I know. My chief of staff
got a name off that list.
176
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,879
Excellent. Who was it, by the way?
177
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,719
I don't know, some plumber. Jake.
178
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,839
Ah, Jake. And, uh, yeah,
his brother Gordy.
179
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,599
- Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah, good blokes.
180
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,919
- Chatty.
- Well, I suppose so.
181
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:29,519
You do know that they signed a
nondisclosure agreement with the
182
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,279
Commonwealth about anything
they hear or see in the house.
183
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:37,159
I hope they weren't too indiscreet,
didn't compromise you at all.
184
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:43,439
Uh, well, mate, I was just busy
deshitifying myself, so, uh, no.
185
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,279
OK, mate. Well, that's good. Good.
186
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,439
We'll talk soon, eh?
187
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,320
Strange times.
188
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,039
You remember Brian Oakley,
the Defence Minister,
189
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,359
didn't die that day
because of poison gas.
190
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,678
We both know he died on the job
with the Education Minister.
191
00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:02,719
Yes, he died on the job, yes.
192
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,719
So what's that got to do with plumbing?
193
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,959
You tell me.
194
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,319
No. No, mate. You tell me.
195
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,479
You're a driver, you know
a shitload more than I do.
196
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,759
You know where all the bodies are buried.
197
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,309
I hope you're not thinking
what I think you're thinking.
198
00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:19,439
What are you thinking
I'm thinking you're thinking?
199
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,559
I'm thinking that you're thinking
that... Oh, Christ.
200
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,719
Is this what we've come to?
I'm thinking...
201
00:10:24,295 --> 00:10:27,679
Hmph, I'm thinking that for
economic reasons,
202
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,319
and in the best interests of our nation,
203
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,959
that we consolidate our list of
contractors to this place.
204
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:38,359
And I'm thinking, in general terms,
about tradespeople, sparkies,
205
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,959
chippies, and in particular,
I'm thinking about plumbers.
206
00:10:42,565 --> 00:10:44,319
Really?
207
00:10:44,737 --> 00:10:47,015
So this is what you're talking about?
208
00:10:47,703 --> 00:10:50,480
Serious consolidation?
209
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,560
Consolidation with extreme prejudice.
210
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:01,199
Look. I know we're talking
about us going to prison, OK?
211
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,639
We've spent millions
covering up a non-event.
212
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,119
We've bought the biggest bloody tarp
in the world.
213
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,359
I mean, it is a literal cover-up.
214
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,159
It's corruption on a massive scale.
215
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:17,600
Then consolidation with extreme
prejudice vis-a-vis these plumbers.
216
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,240
That's about our only option, Joe.
217
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,439
It's your call, Prime Minister.
218
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,360
I'll need more time.
219
00:11:29,353 --> 00:11:31,513
You keep up the surveillance.
220
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,599
(CALLS) Nicole, Maria.
221
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,199
Mama. Nicky. (SPEAKS POLISH) _
222
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,920
- Mama. Nicky.
- _
223
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,119
Hey, Cleave.
224
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,319
This is my darling sister Nadia,
she's in from London.
225
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,840
- Oh.
- This is the boss.
226
00:12:12,984 --> 00:12:14,535
_
227
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:15,882
Yeah.
228
00:12:15,883 --> 00:12:18,999
Senator Greene, I'm Nadia Vargas.
I am delighted to meet you.
229
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,679
I'm delighted to meet you too, Nadia.
230
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,199
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Oh, sorry.
231
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,639
I'll just get that, hang on.
232
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,199
I'm sorry, what is she...
What's she do...
233
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,599
What's she got in her ear?
234
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,357
Maria Creche, good afternoon.
How may I help your little ones?
235
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:32,560
Oh, Maria Creche. Maria Creche.
236
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,175
_
237
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,079
What's she saying? Can you...
238
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,999
She said you're meant to be
seeing your constituents.
239
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,799
OK, can you just translate this for her?
240
00:12:40,429 --> 00:12:46,079
Oh, loathsome mother, Senator Greene
would love to see his constituents,
241
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,600
but he can't find them
under all the Lego and Beanie Boos.
242
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,360
Ah.
243
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,440
100,000.
244
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,919
100,000 what?
Freckles? Barbara Cartland novels?
245
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:08,079
I will settle the defamation suit
for 100,000.
246
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,880
Oh. Let me get my chequebook out.
247
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:23,479
(VIDEO PLAYS) "Penny Evans, which
is not her original name, by the way,
248
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,239
"is beyond delusional.
249
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,759
"She is actually a straight up
and down liar.
250
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,399
"She's been lying to all of us,
her constituents in particular,
251
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:33,719
"for years now.
252
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:38,239
"Her 'modest farming family' that
she bangs on about all the time,
253
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,399
"turns out to have been one of
Australia's biggest
254
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,239
"agricultural concerns.
255
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:47,239
"She attended the elite St Margaret's
private girls school,
256
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:51,559
"and Sydney University,
where she studied arts and the law,
257
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,439
"and married frequently."
258
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:57,039
So. Well, you're a so-called lawyer.
259
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,760
What part of that's not defamatory?
260
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,759
Well, none of it is defamatory, ah,
because all of it is nice.
261
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,439
Yes, but none of it's true.
262
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,919
Yes, but you told me it was true,
didn't you?
263
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,599
Ooh, have you got evidence of that?
264
00:14:11,996 --> 00:14:16,920
I will settle, under confidential
terms, for $100,000.
265
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:22,999
You lied to me. I'm going to court.
266
00:14:23,715 --> 00:14:28,359
Alright. Well, this is written
confirmation of my offer,
267
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,919
which I will tend as evidence
in court if you decline.
268
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,359
Should you do so, and I succeed,
which I will,
269
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:39,159
my lawyers reckon I'll get about
$1 million in damages
270
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,959
and another $500,000 or $600,000
in costs,
271
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:45,719
because I was prepared to settle
and not waste the court's time.
272
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,839
I don't have a hundred grand, Penny.
273
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,559
Why are you doing this?
274
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:51,919
Look, Cleaver, it's not for the money.
275
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,799
I just think it's an insult
to this country
276
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,920
that you hold the office you do.
277
00:14:54,921 --> 00:14:58,679
I want you gone, and if I have
to bankrupt you to do it, I will.
278
00:14:59,147 --> 00:15:01,239
Then my party can have two seats
in the Senate.
279
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,119
OK, fine. I'll see you in court.
280
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,440
Bye-bye now.
281
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,600
Nicole!
282
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,839
I think I need Roy.
283
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,399
Uh, well, you owe him $500,
so he won't take our calls.
284
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:25,199
Have you opened your Tiny Tycoon
Super Saver account yet?
285
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,519
Oh. Now, here's the thing about that.
286
00:15:28,809 --> 00:15:34,319
I may have opened a website
that I shouldn't have opened.
287
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,319
And it looked very authentic,
a sort of banking thing.
288
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,799
They knew my name.
289
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,199
You clicked on a bullshit site.
So what? Have you been skimmed?
290
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:44,439
Well, it looked really legit,
you know, and, um...
291
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:50,919
But... but... but the problem is that
I still don't seem to have an account
292
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,279
and the people in finance are saying
that they have put all my pay
293
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,599
- into this account...
- Well, OK.
294
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,279
...that I don't seem to be able
to access.
295
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,079
Why would they do that?
296
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,159
Well, because, um, according to them,
297
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:07,248
I may have given authorisation
to this web page.
298
00:16:07,249 --> 00:16:08,855
Can I just murder you now?
299
00:16:08,856 --> 00:16:14,279
Because there would not be a jury in
all the land that would convict me.
300
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,759
I still need Roy in here.
301
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,119
Well, you can't have Roy
because you owe him $500.
302
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,600
- Jakub!
- He... (SIGHS)
303
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,079
How would you feel, my friend,
if I said to you,
304
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:31,839
big slap-up Polish feast
at our joint tonight?
305
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,039
OK, there is no "our joint", Cleaver.
306
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,559
And you can't keep staying at
my place when you're in Sydney.
307
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,760
Could you get Roy on the phone, please?
308
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,799
Mate, I need $500, just quietly.
309
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,999
And I'm looking at another
ten points, Cleaver.
310
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,560
Yeah, I don't know what that means,
mate. But, no problem.
311
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,771
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Yes?
312
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,719
Oh, Cal. Right on time.
313
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,919
Yes, I'll keep this short, Ms Greene.
314
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,279
There's no need.
We have an hour set aside.
315
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,919
I am appalled that the Health
Minister is recklessly spending
316
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,719
this vast sum of money
on women's mental health.
317
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,359
OK.
318
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,159
You'll be out of here in a week.
319
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,600
OK.
320
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,154
Cal?
321
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,520
Did you and your brother ever get on?
322
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,524
My half-brother, you mean?
323
00:17:36,525 --> 00:17:40,319
Yeah, Joe. Did you ever get on?
324
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:44,719
Dad had a painting that never got
mentioned in his will.
325
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,319
And Dad always promised it to me,
326
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,439
but Joe said that Dad had promised
it to him, which is bullshit!
327
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,759
I mean, Joe didn't even like
farm animals.
328
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,279
That was just something that me
and Dad bonded over.
329
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,559
WOMAN: The thing is, I'm not
a particularly healthy person.
330
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,679
I do run, which is good for weight
and good for general health.
331
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:08,199
But, I don't... I do secretly drink,
secretly smoke.
332
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,359
It's the stress.
333
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:16,399
I, um... I only ever really wanted
to play football.
334
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,279
Be kept on the team.
335
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,159
But I...
336
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,559
...I didn't do any better
than 16B's at school.
337
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,879
It's purely emotional.
50 bucks maybe. But he took it!
338
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,919
- So you sued him?
- Of course.
339
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,290
What choice did I have?
340
00:18:31,291 --> 00:18:34,279
Right, so this legal battle that's
been going over this $50 painting.
341
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,679
- It's been going for...
- Seven years.
342
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,114
Cost me upwards of five mill so far.
343
00:18:39,115 --> 00:18:44,999
Nobody knows this, but,
I've only got seven toes.
344
00:18:45,745 --> 00:18:49,119
From birth, it's just a gene thing.
345
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:53,359
My dad only had five. (WEEPS)
346
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,599
(SOBS) Mummy, Mum.
347
00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:01,599
My mum used to joke about what a
great halfback she would've made.
348
00:19:02,457 --> 00:19:09,240
But then I realised
she was... a socialist...
349
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,079
...and she'd kept it hidden
from us for years.
350
00:19:14,604 --> 00:19:18,799
So I've been doing, well,
I've been doing a fair bit of coke.
351
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,919
Going to clubs and doing a bit of
swinging, which is OK.
352
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:28,639
So I've got this Healthy Oz
campaign launch next week
353
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,759
and the closer I get to the launch,
354
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,898
the more I just want to get
completely fucked up.
355
00:19:33,899 --> 00:19:35,599
Yeah, but it's not about the money.
356
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,053
But that's actually one of the reasons
357
00:19:37,054 --> 00:19:39,159
your wife is pissed off with you,
isn't it?
358
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,159
- You've had to move house recently.
- Yeah, yeah.
359
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,279
Can we not talk about Jane today?
Can we save it for next week?
360
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,159
Yep, of course.
361
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,080
She scares me.
362
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:55,159
(SOBS)
363
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,399
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Shit!
364
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,799
It's OK, it's OK. Just check my shoes.
365
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,120
Check my shoes, check my shoes. Coming.
366
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:10,359
I find this very helpful, Wendy.
Thank you for finding the time.
367
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:13,239
But no-one needs to know about this,
right?
368
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:18,880
Absolutely not. And thank you
for the 400K a year, Gareth.
369
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:24,160
(MARIA HUMS TO HERSELF)
370
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,439
(LAUGHTER)
371
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,879
- NICOLE: How many do you want?
- NADIA: Two.
372
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:34,960
Oh. Two please.
373
00:20:34,961 --> 00:20:37,840
Stop trying to fatten me up, please.
Stop. Too many.
374
00:20:37,897 --> 00:20:39,897
_
375
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,440
What brings you to Sydney, Nadia?
376
00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:45,575
_
377
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,999
(LAUGHTER)
378
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,749
Just a holiday. See the family.
379
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,119
Lydia is a headhunter in
advertising. She's a bigwig.
380
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,879
- Right.
- Modest.
381
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,279
- Oh, really?
- Yes, really.
382
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,519
Very interesting.
383
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,839
You didn't, uh,
mention that you had a sister.
384
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,120
- Really?
- Mm.
385
00:21:02,558 --> 00:21:04,558
_
386
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,999
(LAUGHTER)
387
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,119
I think it's sweet of you
to include Jakub.
388
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:15,799
Oh, well, we include Jakub
in everything we do. Don't we, mate?
389
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,564
No. Not in everything we do.
390
00:21:17,565 --> 00:21:21,919
No, not in every thing.
That'd be, a bit, you know,
391
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:26,480
if there's a good time to be had,
Jakub's there at the top of the list.
392
00:21:27,599 --> 00:21:28,632
_
393
00:21:28,633 --> 00:21:31,195
_
394
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,440
(LAUGHTER)
395
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,599
Roy wants cash, by the way.
396
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,640
Oh, God.
397
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,360
Nature calls.
398
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,427
Actually, nature's calling me too.
399
00:21:57,428 --> 00:21:59,320
Oh, nature's having a busy night.
400
00:22:11,075 --> 00:22:13,075
_
401
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,119
Uh, I'm afraid I must go, Senator.
402
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:44,320
- MARIA: Really? Oh!
- Bye, mate.
403
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,400
NICOLE: Mama.
404
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,108
I mean, this is delicious.
405
00:22:55,109 --> 00:22:57,588
Ah, you know, you Poles, with your food.
406
00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:59,348
What?
407
00:22:59,349 --> 00:23:02,629
Good... good on you.
Good on... good for you.
408
00:23:07,669 --> 00:23:10,908
That was fantastic.
409
00:23:11,343 --> 00:23:13,789
Really fantastic.
410
00:23:17,909 --> 00:23:21,388
So, Jakub is what? Your strategist?
411
00:23:21,389 --> 00:23:24,468
Jakub? No. No, he's my driver.
412
00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:26,468
Seems very smart.
413
00:23:26,469 --> 00:23:29,588
Well, yeah, I mean,
he's a smart enough guy.
414
00:23:29,589 --> 00:23:33,628
You have to be quite smart to be the
driver for a senator, 'cause I'm...
415
00:23:33,629 --> 00:23:34,948
I liked his suit.
416
00:23:35,245 --> 00:23:37,028
- His suit?
- Mm-hm.
417
00:23:37,902 --> 00:23:40,948
Yeah, I mean, you know,
he's quite a well-dressed guy.
418
00:23:40,949 --> 00:23:43,028
He's quite a clever guy,
I will grant you that.
419
00:23:43,029 --> 00:23:45,908
But you know, the suit, obviously
that's a part of his uniform,
420
00:23:45,909 --> 00:23:47,308
his driver's uniform.
421
00:23:47,309 --> 00:23:49,948
Goes with the job that I gave him.
422
00:23:49,949 --> 00:23:52,028
He has four homes.
423
00:23:52,029 --> 00:23:53,908
What the fuck?
424
00:23:53,909 --> 00:23:56,108
All without mortgages.
How does a driver do that?
425
00:23:56,109 --> 00:23:58,508
Jesus, I have no idea.
426
00:23:58,509 --> 00:24:00,948
I like to help him out with his finances.
427
00:24:00,949 --> 00:24:04,228
You know, 'cause he's a mate
and he's got a wife and...
428
00:24:04,229 --> 00:24:05,749
And two girlfriends.
429
00:24:06,509 --> 00:24:08,828
He was very upfront with me. I like that.
430
00:24:08,829 --> 00:24:10,235
Yeah.
431
00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:17,228
Yes, I've got a... I've got an
ex-wife and a son and a grand...
432
00:24:17,662 --> 00:24:21,548
...piano, because I love to play.
433
00:24:21,549 --> 00:24:23,269
I'm sure they're just chatting.
434
00:24:30,629 --> 00:24:32,388
Well, that was your mistake, Mama.
435
00:24:32,389 --> 00:24:35,149
- What happened to Jakub?
- I don't know. I don't know.
436
00:24:43,389 --> 00:24:45,228
Oh, she's your darling, Mama?
437
00:24:45,229 --> 00:24:47,308
We're both your darlings, Mum.
We're both your daughters!
438
00:24:47,309 --> 00:24:52,429
You are not a Vargas!
You are not your father's daughter.
439
00:24:54,149 --> 00:24:56,988
Jakub has had a vasectomy.
I find that very attractive.
440
00:24:56,989 --> 00:24:59,108
Wow, you really...
441
00:24:59,109 --> 00:25:00,788
What are you doing?
442
00:25:00,789 --> 00:25:02,788
Just touching your shoulder...
on the shoulder.
443
00:25:02,789 --> 00:25:05,028
- Well, please don't.
- OK.
444
00:25:05,029 --> 00:25:06,989
(SOUND OF ARGUMENT)
445
00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:12,068
- Mama, what's the problem?
- She just told me I'm not a Vargas.
446
00:25:12,069 --> 00:25:14,388
- She told you?
- What? You're not a virus?
447
00:25:14,389 --> 00:25:17,410
No, I'm... I'm not a Vargas.
I'm not my father's daughter.
448
00:25:17,411 --> 00:25:19,237
How's that even scientifically possible?
449
00:25:19,238 --> 00:25:21,024
- Why did you tell her?
- I'm a Plimpton.
450
00:25:21,025 --> 00:25:22,065
What's the difference?
451
00:25:22,090 --> 00:25:24,388
- What's the diff? What's the diff?
- _
452
00:25:24,389 --> 00:25:27,949
- You are a...
- Fuck you, Cleaver!
453
00:25:35,709 --> 00:25:37,829
(SOUND OF ARGUMENT)
454
00:25:51,869 --> 00:25:55,468
You just... you fucked my boss
within 30 seconds of meeting him.
455
00:25:55,469 --> 00:25:58,668
I didn't want to fuck your boss,
I really wanted to fuck his driver.
456
00:25:58,669 --> 00:26:00,949
He already has a wife and two
girlfriends. That's enough.
457
00:26:02,589 --> 00:26:04,708
Oh, to you, Mama! To you!
458
00:26:04,709 --> 00:26:06,988
My whole life I'm a Vargas.
Turns out I'm a Plimpton.
459
00:26:06,989 --> 00:26:08,388
Why did you tell her?
460
00:26:08,389 --> 00:26:09,708
She knew?!
461
00:26:09,709 --> 00:26:11,588
- What's a Plimpton?
- Shut up!
462
00:26:11,589 --> 00:26:12,890
- What?
- Shut up!
463
00:26:12,891 --> 00:26:15,043
So this is why you've always had
more affection for her, Mama?
464
00:26:16,509 --> 00:26:18,108
That is horseshit, Nic.
465
00:26:18,109 --> 00:26:19,269
We both knew Mum slept round.
466
00:26:19,270 --> 00:26:21,548
- How dare you?
- What?
467
00:26:21,549 --> 00:26:23,388
I didn't know that actually, Nadia.
Thank you.
468
00:26:23,389 --> 00:26:25,948
Nic, I don't even know if I'm a Vargas.
469
00:26:25,949 --> 00:26:27,788
- You are a Vargas!
- Says who, Mama?
470
00:26:27,789 --> 00:26:31,388
Who... who... who was the Plimpton?
471
00:26:31,389 --> 00:26:32,988
(MARIA WEEPS)
472
00:26:32,989 --> 00:26:34,748
Mama, who was the Plimpton?
473
00:26:35,509 --> 00:26:36,709
Mama! Mama!
474
00:26:38,238 --> 00:26:40,428
His name was George.
475
00:26:40,863 --> 00:26:43,246
I met him in New York at a boxing game...
476
00:26:44,709 --> 00:26:46,708
...when I was visiting Uncle Lech.
477
00:26:46,709 --> 00:26:48,921
- George Plimpton?
- What does it matter?
478
00:26:48,922 --> 00:26:51,068
Not THE George Plimpton!
479
00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:53,228
- What do you mean "the"?
- Well, he liked boxing.
480
00:26:53,229 --> 00:26:54,548
He liked boxing, yes?
481
00:26:54,549 --> 00:26:58,948
Yeah, he knew some guys,
but he was no boxer himself.
482
00:26:58,949 --> 00:27:00,508
He just wrote about it.
483
00:27:00,509 --> 00:27:02,708
George Plimpton?!
484
00:27:02,709 --> 00:27:04,268
I mean, the man's a...
485
00:27:04,269 --> 00:27:08,228
He's one of my all-time heroes.
He was unbelievable journalist.
486
00:27:08,229 --> 00:27:10,468
He's a pal of Muhammad Ali.
487
00:27:10,469 --> 00:27:12,748
He covered the Rumble in the Jungle.
488
00:27:12,749 --> 00:27:15,908
He founded the Paris Review.
489
00:27:15,909 --> 00:27:19,348
Yeah, he was in Africa for a week or two.
490
00:27:19,349 --> 00:27:21,948
I remember that other fellow
you mentioned.
491
00:27:21,949 --> 00:27:23,468
Which other fellow?
492
00:27:23,469 --> 00:27:25,948
- The black one.
- What, Muhammad Ali?
493
00:27:25,949 --> 00:27:27,548
Well, if that was his name.
494
00:27:27,549 --> 00:27:29,708
There was a meeting.
Yeah, I met him with George.
495
00:27:29,709 --> 00:27:33,948
So you... you... you had dinner
with Muhammad Ali
496
00:27:33,949 --> 00:27:36,468
and you had sex with George Plimpton?
497
00:27:36,469 --> 00:27:37,869
Oh, yes, that's George.
498
00:27:39,302 --> 00:27:41,102
That's George!
499
00:27:43,509 --> 00:27:45,428
Oh, my God.
500
00:27:45,776 --> 00:27:47,708
Daddy.
501
00:27:48,104 --> 00:27:50,468
- I'm a lawyer. A big lawyer.
- CAL: Yeah.
502
00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:52,468
A man known to be savage.
503
00:27:52,469 --> 00:27:56,148
To have no conscience.
My wife knows I have no conscience.
504
00:27:56,149 --> 00:27:58,548
My two-year-old looks at me
like I have no conscience.
505
00:27:58,549 --> 00:28:00,508
But, Cal, it's been five years.
506
00:28:00,509 --> 00:28:03,108
You've put three of my kids through
school with what you've spent
507
00:28:03,109 --> 00:28:05,668
trying to get this shitty little
painting back from your brother.
508
00:28:05,669 --> 00:28:07,188
He's my half-brother,
509
00:28:07,189 --> 00:28:09,748
and my father wanted me to have
that painting, Francis.
510
00:28:09,749 --> 00:28:12,348
He told me so on his death bed,
and that fuckwit...
511
00:28:12,349 --> 00:28:13,948
Cal, it's your word
against your brother's.
512
00:28:13,949 --> 00:28:15,109
Half-brother.
513
00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:16,468
Cal, we have no proof! You understand?
514
00:28:16,469 --> 00:28:18,269
- It's beautiful!
- No, it isn't.
515
00:28:19,722 --> 00:28:21,162
It's an abomination.
516
00:28:22,829 --> 00:28:26,468
In all my years as a lawyer
I have never said this,
517
00:28:26,469 --> 00:28:29,028
but you have to stop this now.
518
00:28:29,776 --> 00:28:32,789
I actually don't want to take
any more of your money.
519
00:28:34,149 --> 00:28:36,269
It's keeping me up at night, man.
520
00:28:37,589 --> 00:28:42,389
The painting is worth nothing,
and it's insane what you've spent.
521
00:28:46,629 --> 00:28:48,868
Very well, Francis.
522
00:28:49,410 --> 00:28:51,794
Let's consider the matter terminated.
523
00:29:03,863 --> 00:29:04,948
Morning, folks.
524
00:29:06,205 --> 00:29:07,788
Where's Nadia?
525
00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:10,989
- Melbourne.
- Oh, that's right, yeah.
526
00:29:13,989 --> 00:29:17,149
(WISTFUL MUSIC)
527
00:29:31,109 --> 00:29:33,069
(MARIA SIGHS)
528
00:29:34,789 --> 00:29:37,949
Oh. I'm gonna go and have a shower.
529
00:29:47,269 --> 00:29:49,628
Morning. Morning, Prime Minister.
530
00:29:49,629 --> 00:29:52,988
You, you, you, you.
I know you. We've met before.
531
00:29:52,989 --> 00:29:54,948
You're very familiar.
532
00:29:54,949 --> 00:29:57,228
Yes, Melissa Partridge.
533
00:29:57,229 --> 00:30:00,308
We met in Sydney a few years ago
at a couple of functions.
534
00:30:00,309 --> 00:30:01,708
I work for Cleaver Greene.
535
00:30:01,709 --> 00:30:04,228
Oh, God. Love a duck. You poor thing.
536
00:30:04,229 --> 00:30:06,388
Well, good luck with all of that.
537
00:30:06,389 --> 00:30:08,788
It's very nice to see you again, Melissa.
538
00:30:08,789 --> 00:30:11,028
Thank you, Prime Minister.
539
00:30:11,610 --> 00:30:14,709
Shit! Missy! Missy!
540
00:30:16,395 --> 00:30:18,468
Missy? Missy?
541
00:30:18,469 --> 00:30:21,228
How are you, Fluffy?
542
00:30:21,229 --> 00:30:24,709
Oh, Christ alive. (CLEARS THROAT)
543
00:30:27,509 --> 00:30:30,789
Melissa, through here.
544
00:30:31,989 --> 00:30:34,229
No interruptions, people.
545
00:30:38,149 --> 00:30:40,829
Have a seat. Just...
546
00:30:44,669 --> 00:30:47,429
Right, well, first thing. Eh...
547
00:30:50,109 --> 00:30:54,628
Thank you for not putting me
in your book... which I enjoyed.
548
00:30:54,629 --> 00:30:58,548
And the movie, which... (LAUGHS) Oh, God.
549
00:30:58,549 --> 00:31:01,228
Listen, there's not going
to be a sequel, is there?
550
00:31:01,229 --> 00:31:02,579
No.
551
00:31:03,909 --> 00:31:05,668
Thank Christ for that.
552
00:31:05,669 --> 00:31:10,908
So, you and Greene, you're not together?
553
00:31:10,909 --> 00:31:12,308
No.
554
00:31:12,309 --> 00:31:15,429
Well, not that Greene.
555
00:31:17,189 --> 00:31:21,309
Actually, I've had his grandchild.
556
00:31:23,829 --> 00:31:29,268
(LAUGHS)
557
00:31:29,269 --> 00:31:34,309
That's... (LAUGHS)
558
00:31:35,309 --> 00:31:37,148
I'm sorry.
559
00:31:37,568 --> 00:31:40,068
So what is it you do for him?
You do media, do ya?
560
00:31:40,069 --> 00:31:41,521
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
561
00:31:45,549 --> 00:31:48,548
- Come and do it for me.
- What?
562
00:31:48,549 --> 00:31:50,468
Come work for me. The Prime Minister.
563
00:31:50,469 --> 00:31:53,908
You know you don't need
to buy my silence, Gareth.
564
00:31:53,909 --> 00:31:55,029
I won't tell anyone.
565
00:31:55,030 --> 00:31:56,868
I know that.
566
00:31:56,869 --> 00:32:02,988
But I need... I need someone who can
tell a story people want to hear.
567
00:32:02,989 --> 00:32:04,659
I have a baby.
568
00:32:04,660 --> 00:32:06,668
Well, not that story, please.
569
00:32:06,669 --> 00:32:09,269
So what sort of job are you
offering me exactly?
570
00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:12,308
Well, I don't know.
571
00:32:12,309 --> 00:32:16,548
You could... you could pick your own
title, except Prime Minister,
572
00:32:16,549 --> 00:32:17,908
because that is well and truly taken.
573
00:32:17,909 --> 00:32:21,429
But, you know, you could be the...
574
00:32:22,429 --> 00:32:26,148
...the acceptable face of
Australian politics.
575
00:32:26,814 --> 00:32:28,269
Prodigal daughter.
576
00:32:33,149 --> 00:32:39,188
So ex-hooker, ex-drug addict, mother
of a child to an ex-client's son.
577
00:32:39,189 --> 00:32:41,228
Yes, yes, yes!
578
00:32:41,229 --> 00:32:45,148
That is the CV the right
really needs now.
579
00:32:45,149 --> 00:32:46,309
(LAUGHS)
580
00:32:47,509 --> 00:32:50,148
What about those stories
about you and Caitlin?
581
00:32:50,149 --> 00:32:51,588
Are they true?
582
00:32:51,589 --> 00:32:53,108
Oh, who cares? They don't have to be.
583
00:32:53,109 --> 00:32:55,469
There are other stories because...
584
00:32:57,629 --> 00:32:59,989
...I'm a man of many appetites.
585
00:33:01,109 --> 00:33:02,606
I know.
586
00:33:06,429 --> 00:33:08,228
Oh, come on. Come on.
587
00:33:08,841 --> 00:33:10,269
We'll start from page one.
588
00:33:12,309 --> 00:33:15,308
And after taking Greene down
once and for all
589
00:33:15,309 --> 00:33:17,748
but, you know, I think I think Penny
Evans has got that one covered.
590
00:33:17,749 --> 00:33:20,109
Oh, don't take down Cleaver, Gareth.
591
00:33:21,372 --> 00:33:23,338
I wouldn't like that.
592
00:33:25,549 --> 00:33:28,788
DAVID POTTER: It appears,
Mr President, that a blue tarp
593
00:33:28,789 --> 00:33:32,268
is our new national symbol.
594
00:33:32,269 --> 00:33:37,668
A giant blue tarp entirely encasing
Parliament House,
595
00:33:37,669 --> 00:33:42,709
the international symbol that is the
wreckage that is this government.
596
00:33:43,282 --> 00:33:45,407
Have you seen the memes, Mr President?
597
00:33:45,722 --> 00:33:50,908
The world is laughing at us from
Washington DC to London to Beijing,
598
00:33:50,909 --> 00:33:53,828
Minsk, Phnom Penh.
599
00:33:53,829 --> 00:33:56,468
And it wasn't so bloody pathetic
it really would be funny.
600
00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:57,509
It really would.
601
00:33:57,510 --> 00:33:59,068
Senator Potter is warned!
602
00:33:59,069 --> 00:34:00,508
I apologise, Mr President.
603
00:34:00,509 --> 00:34:03,668
You know what? I think we should
change the flag, I really do.
604
00:34:03,669 --> 00:34:06,188
Some people think our flag
should be green and gold.
605
00:34:06,189 --> 00:34:08,428
Other people think that maybe
it should be an ice-cream,
606
00:34:08,429 --> 00:34:12,308
perhaps an Eskimo Pie
or a Golden Gaytime.
607
00:34:12,309 --> 00:34:15,668
But I think a flag
made out of blue plastic
608
00:34:15,669 --> 00:34:18,988
would be a very fitting symbol
of this government.
609
00:34:18,989 --> 00:34:21,868
After all, it is the colour of their ties
610
00:34:21,869 --> 00:34:23,428
and blue is the colour of their eyes
611
00:34:23,429 --> 00:34:27,588
and it is most definitely
the colour of their lies.
612
00:34:27,589 --> 00:34:29,788
Not only that,
you can also wrap yourself up in it
613
00:34:29,789 --> 00:34:33,108
and the entire world can piss
all over you all it wants,
614
00:34:33,109 --> 00:34:35,428
and you can still pretend you're damp,
615
00:34:35,429 --> 00:34:38,223
even when you're up to your neck in shit.
616
00:34:38,224 --> 00:34:40,628
Senator Potter will remove himself
from the chamber
617
00:34:40,629 --> 00:34:42,508
for the rest of the day!
618
00:34:42,509 --> 00:34:48,228
- (APPLAUSE)
- Order! Order!
619
00:34:48,229 --> 00:34:52,028
Order! Order!
620
00:34:52,029 --> 00:34:54,988
POTTER ON VIDEO: "Have you seen
the memes, Mr President?
621
00:34:54,989 --> 00:34:57,108
"The world is laughing at us..."
Look at that.
622
00:34:57,109 --> 00:34:59,908
He's trying to be me. What a dickhead!
623
00:34:59,909 --> 00:35:01,828
That's me.
624
00:35:01,829 --> 00:35:04,308
I mean, he's... he's channelling me.
625
00:35:04,309 --> 00:35:07,148
"If it wasn't so bloody pathetic,
it really would be funny."
626
00:35:07,149 --> 00:35:11,028
She's... she's teaching...
she's teaching him to be me.
627
00:35:11,029 --> 00:35:14,028
I mean, that's all we need, a couple
of hundred mes in the country.
628
00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:15,348
Cleave.
629
00:35:15,941 --> 00:35:18,188
- Roy.
- Jury?
630
00:35:18,189 --> 00:35:20,108
Yes. Yes, mate. Thank you. Yes.
631
00:35:20,109 --> 00:35:22,548
Nicole said you had my money.
632
00:35:22,549 --> 00:35:25,549
Yes. Yeah, talk to him.
633
00:35:27,029 --> 00:35:28,509
Him.
634
00:35:34,029 --> 00:35:35,589
Oh!
635
00:35:37,069 --> 00:35:40,708
What? Somebody doesn't appear
to have representation.
636
00:35:40,709 --> 00:35:44,636
Thought you were gonna have some
fancypants team of lawyers here.
637
00:35:45,589 --> 00:35:47,188
If we're gonna be mano a mano,
638
00:35:47,189 --> 00:35:50,108
this thing is gonna be over
in a nanosecond, OK.
639
00:35:50,109 --> 00:35:52,909
I'll give you 500 bucks
and we walk out of here now.
640
00:35:54,429 --> 00:35:55,708
For the public.
641
00:35:55,709 --> 00:35:58,748
I don't want it to look like I've
got legal representation, Cleaver,
642
00:35:58,749 --> 00:36:01,109
but... I never walk alone.
643
00:36:04,429 --> 00:36:08,789
Right. Rightio, then.
644
00:36:14,229 --> 00:36:15,709
OK.
645
00:36:20,789 --> 00:36:24,828
"Penny Evans, which is not her
original name, by the way,
646
00:36:24,829 --> 00:36:26,348
"is beyond delusional.
647
00:36:26,349 --> 00:36:30,108
"She is actually
a straight up and down liar.
648
00:36:30,109 --> 00:36:32,148
"She's been lying to all of us,
649
00:36:32,149 --> 00:36:34,868
"her constituents in particular,
for years now.
650
00:36:34,869 --> 00:36:39,428
"Her modest farming family that she
bangs on about all the time
651
00:36:39,429 --> 00:36:41,988
"turns out to have been one of
Australia's biggest
652
00:36:41,989 --> 00:36:43,789
"agricultural concerns."
653
00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,909
Senator Evans.
654
00:36:53,029 --> 00:36:56,388
Your Honour, I apologise,
but as you can see,
655
00:36:56,389 --> 00:36:57,828
I am not in a financial position
656
00:36:57,829 --> 00:37:00,748
to be able to afford
expensive legal counsel.
657
00:37:00,749 --> 00:37:03,548
Some friends and supporters
have come to my aid,
658
00:37:03,549 --> 00:37:06,188
and to them I say I'm truly grateful.
659
00:37:06,189 --> 00:37:08,228
Um... (NERVOUS LAUGH)
660
00:37:08,229 --> 00:37:12,868
It... it's daunting for me as a
wool classer from South Australia
661
00:37:12,869 --> 00:37:18,348
to have to combat an experienced QC
like Cleaver Greene.
662
00:37:18,349 --> 00:37:20,388
Well, Senator Greene is not a QC.
663
00:37:20,389 --> 00:37:22,428
He is not even a member of the Bar.
664
00:37:22,429 --> 00:37:24,908
Oh. Oh, I apologise, Your Honour.
665
00:37:24,909 --> 00:37:26,428
Oh, yes. I see.
666
00:37:26,429 --> 00:37:30,828
He was disbarred for disparaging
and disrespecting the bench
667
00:37:30,829 --> 00:37:33,028
when he was found guilty of murder.
668
00:37:33,029 --> 00:37:34,628
Your Honour...
669
00:37:34,629 --> 00:37:36,468
No, the defendant
was eventually acquitted
670
00:37:36,469 --> 00:37:38,519
of conspiracy to commit murder.
671
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,069
Oh. I am sorry, Your Honour.
672
00:37:40,070 --> 00:37:43,708
I must have misheard. It was
conspiracy to commit murder.
673
00:37:43,709 --> 00:37:45,908
Acquitted on appeal, Senator.
674
00:37:45,909 --> 00:37:49,788
Oh, yes, appeal.
Acquitted on appeal of murder.
675
00:37:49,789 --> 00:37:52,548
Conspiracy to commit murder, Senator.
676
00:37:52,549 --> 00:37:54,308
Yes, I apologise again. Of course.
677
00:37:54,309 --> 00:37:59,788
It was conspiracy to commit... murder.
678
00:37:59,789 --> 00:38:01,508
- Murder!
- CLEAVER: Oh!
679
00:38:01,509 --> 00:38:03,548
(GASPS) Oh! Oh! Ooh!
680
00:38:03,549 --> 00:38:05,668
Are you OK, Senator Evans?
681
00:38:05,669 --> 00:38:07,508
Yes, I'm fine.
682
00:38:07,509 --> 00:38:11,348
Your Honour, I'm sorry,
it's just some shoulder pain
683
00:38:11,349 --> 00:38:13,668
from a would-be assassin's bullet.
684
00:38:13,669 --> 00:38:17,348
Someone was hired to kill me by an enemy.
685
00:38:17,349 --> 00:38:19,948
Are you fuck... kidding me.
686
00:38:19,949 --> 00:38:21,988
I beg your pardon, Senator Greene?
687
00:38:21,989 --> 00:38:26,788
Your Honour, I... I would be
the first person...
688
00:38:26,789 --> 00:38:29,308
Well, I'm probably not the first,
689
00:38:29,309 --> 00:38:32,748
but I would certainly be in
a group of Australians
690
00:38:32,749 --> 00:38:36,228
who would deplore what has happened
to Senator Evans and her shoulder,
691
00:38:36,229 --> 00:38:38,068
and I'm sure that she's not accusing me
692
00:38:38,069 --> 00:38:41,468
of being involved in this shooting,
693
00:38:41,469 --> 00:38:46,668
given that I was standing next to her
at the time in a zebra suit.
694
00:38:46,669 --> 00:38:47,829
(LAUGHTER)
695
00:38:47,830 --> 00:38:52,068
But, Your Honour, could we please
move on to the substance of these
696
00:38:52,069 --> 00:38:54,749
spurious defamation proceedings?
697
00:38:55,829 --> 00:38:58,948
Actually, Your Honour,
I think it was Senator Greene
698
00:38:58,949 --> 00:39:02,028
who commissioned and paid for
my assassination attempt.
699
00:39:02,029 --> 00:39:03,428
Are you kidding me?
700
00:39:03,429 --> 00:39:05,828
Your Honour, could we please
not allow her
701
00:39:05,829 --> 00:39:09,588
to turn this into a criminal circus?
702
00:39:09,589 --> 00:39:12,788
This, after all,
is... is... is a civil circus.
703
00:39:12,789 --> 00:39:16,188
Well, I think he tried to kill me.
704
00:39:16,189 --> 00:39:19,028
Isn't that material to this case
in some way?
705
00:39:19,029 --> 00:39:21,268
Oh, man, she is a piece of work,
Your Honour.
706
00:39:21,269 --> 00:39:23,508
I offered him $100,000
to make this go away.
707
00:39:23,509 --> 00:39:24,908
Are you kidding me?
708
00:39:24,909 --> 00:39:28,068
Your Honour, she asked me for a
hundred grand to make this go away.
709
00:39:28,069 --> 00:39:31,268
Well, I don't think we should be
wasting any of more of your time,
710
00:39:31,269 --> 00:39:35,068
Your Honour, on quibbling about who
asked for or who offered $100,000.
711
00:39:35,069 --> 00:39:36,828
Oh, on the contrary, Your Honour.
712
00:39:36,829 --> 00:39:39,748
I think it's highly material
to this case that we examine who,
713
00:39:39,749 --> 00:39:43,468
who offered who and who asked who
for a hundred thousand
714
00:39:43,469 --> 00:39:49,268
because she asked me for $100,000
to make this thing disappear.
715
00:39:49,269 --> 00:39:51,028
And you refused the offer?
716
00:39:51,029 --> 00:39:52,348
Of course I did, Your Honour.
717
00:39:52,349 --> 00:39:55,188
You do realise the liability of
costs you have just admitted,
718
00:39:55,189 --> 00:39:56,468
Senator Greene.
719
00:39:56,469 --> 00:40:00,428
They will be substantial in the
event you fail in these proceedings.
720
00:40:00,429 --> 00:40:02,589
Of course, Your Honour.
721
00:40:04,309 --> 00:40:06,269
Senator Evans.
722
00:40:08,949 --> 00:40:10,388
You're fucked.
723
00:40:10,389 --> 00:40:15,668
Being just a wool classer, I have
no expertise in these matters.
724
00:40:15,669 --> 00:40:18,668
But I think... I believe
the expert evidence before us
725
00:40:18,669 --> 00:40:22,108
that confirms that the bullet
that shot me was fired
726
00:40:22,109 --> 00:40:24,388
from a Bling 4 bolt-action rifle.
727
00:40:24,389 --> 00:40:25,868
Your Honour, I'm sorry,
728
00:40:25,869 --> 00:40:30,588
but I fail to see what any of this
has to do with the case at hand.
729
00:40:30,589 --> 00:40:33,308
I would request that Your Honour
instruct the plaintiff
730
00:40:33,309 --> 00:40:35,868
to continue with the defamation case
731
00:40:35,869 --> 00:40:39,748
that is currently being ventilated
in this courtroom.
732
00:40:39,749 --> 00:40:40,869
I am, Your Honour.
733
00:40:41,837 --> 00:40:46,828
The jury has seen the footage, which
was broadcast across the country,
734
00:40:46,829 --> 00:40:50,788
in which I was called a liar
and lies were told about me,
735
00:40:50,789 --> 00:40:55,628
arguably destroying my electoral base.
736
00:40:55,629 --> 00:40:57,668
My case is done,
737
00:40:57,669 --> 00:41:01,548
apart from any further investigation
into the person
738
00:41:01,549 --> 00:41:03,628
who ordered my assassination.
739
00:41:03,629 --> 00:41:04,709
Thank you.
740
00:41:04,710 --> 00:41:07,668
It would seem it's time to open
your case, Senator Greene.
741
00:41:07,669 --> 00:41:09,708
Thank you, Your Honour.
742
00:41:09,709 --> 00:41:13,788
Your Honour, the plaintiff asked me
to have a drink with her
743
00:41:13,789 --> 00:41:16,388
on the night in question, which I did,
744
00:41:16,389 --> 00:41:19,108
and she told me a story,
which I believed,
745
00:41:19,109 --> 00:41:24,068
about her antecedents, which I then
went on to repeat on air.
746
00:41:24,069 --> 00:41:27,948
- That's a lie!
- The plaintiff will resume her seat.
747
00:41:27,949 --> 00:41:31,228
- Proceed, Senator Greene.
- Thank you, Your Honour.
748
00:41:31,229 --> 00:41:36,308
Now, the plaintiff told me this story
to trap me into these circumstances,
749
00:41:36,309 --> 00:41:40,428
which she claims are defamatory.
750
00:41:40,429 --> 00:41:44,348
Now, I have variously called
the plaintiff smart,
751
00:41:44,349 --> 00:41:48,108
well-educated, and from a good family.
752
00:41:48,109 --> 00:41:53,268
Is that, ladies and gentlemen, where
we are now in the world of politics?
753
00:41:53,269 --> 00:41:56,628
That you cannot be seen to be
a cut above?
754
00:41:56,629 --> 00:41:58,908
Because if that is the case,
755
00:41:58,909 --> 00:42:03,868
then we are in a serious and tragic
race for the bottom.
756
00:42:03,869 --> 00:42:05,948
Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
757
00:42:05,949 --> 00:42:07,508
this is, in the final analysis,
758
00:42:07,509 --> 00:42:11,228
quite simply a case of her word
against mine,
759
00:42:11,229 --> 00:42:15,068
and my word is the truth.
760
00:42:15,069 --> 00:42:17,269
Thank you, Your Honour.
761
00:42:25,269 --> 00:42:26,908
- So?
- The jury hate you.
762
00:42:27,567 --> 00:42:29,789
I saw one say to another...
763
00:42:31,189 --> 00:42:34,109
..."He tried to kill her.
Don't believe a word he says."
764
00:42:38,109 --> 00:42:40,669
Nicole, would you excuse
for a moment, please?
765
00:42:55,549 --> 00:42:59,428
There's only one choice available
to the Senator at this point.
766
00:42:59,429 --> 00:43:00,988
Which is?
767
00:43:00,989 --> 00:43:03,308
You tell him, Senator.
I'm just the driver.
768
00:43:03,309 --> 00:43:05,429
I need to be shot, Roy.
769
00:43:06,909 --> 00:43:09,908
We need to create the illusion
that there's a madman out there.
770
00:43:09,909 --> 00:43:12,068
Well, not an illusion. There clearly is.
771
00:43:12,069 --> 00:43:13,908
Well, yes, there is.
I mean, I didn't shoot her.
772
00:43:13,909 --> 00:43:15,948
There is a madman out there.
773
00:43:15,949 --> 00:43:19,908
What we need to do is
balance the argument.
774
00:43:19,909 --> 00:43:22,548
There clearly are crazy people out there
775
00:43:22,549 --> 00:43:25,188
who want to kill politicians
on both sides.
776
00:43:25,189 --> 00:43:26,468
Well, in your case on no side.
777
00:43:26,469 --> 00:43:30,508
The whole issue of me
trying to murder Penny
778
00:43:30,509 --> 00:43:32,908
needs to be wiped off the table, OK?
779
00:43:32,909 --> 00:43:34,748
So we need a shooting, Roy.
780
00:43:34,749 --> 00:43:39,348
Obviously not fatal, but something
a little more serious than Penny's.
781
00:43:39,349 --> 00:43:42,068
I mean, that's how she's winning in
there, mate, with all these morons.
782
00:43:42,069 --> 00:43:43,548
It's this sympathy bullshit.
783
00:43:43,549 --> 00:43:49,108
So I need something
a little worse than hers.
784
00:43:49,109 --> 00:43:50,748
You want me to hire a shooter?
785
00:43:50,749 --> 00:43:55,228
Yes, yes, but just to be clear,
not fatal, OK?
786
00:43:55,229 --> 00:43:59,988
Not fatal, just badly wounded is
what Jakub and I were thinking.
787
00:43:59,989 --> 00:44:03,108
I'm just a driver. I'm just a lip-reader.
788
00:44:03,109 --> 00:44:08,148
Roy, we both know that you've hired
shooters in the past.
789
00:44:08,149 --> 00:44:09,948
Ages ago, Cleave.
790
00:44:09,949 --> 00:44:12,628
Fuck! Gotta be three years.
791
00:44:12,629 --> 00:44:15,188
You defended a dozen of them.
You pick one.
792
00:44:15,189 --> 00:44:18,308
Senator, I know someone
who'll do it for ten.
793
00:44:18,309 --> 00:44:20,748
- Ten?
- He's a marksman.
794
00:44:20,749 --> 00:44:23,468
Actually an Olympian. He won't miss.
795
00:44:23,469 --> 00:44:25,388
I can get it done for six and a half.
796
00:44:25,389 --> 00:44:28,988
- An Olympian?
- No, but Commonwealth Games.
797
00:44:28,989 --> 00:44:30,828
Senator, you wanna risk?
798
00:44:30,829 --> 00:44:34,108
Oh, mate. No, no, I'm sorry.
Commonwealth Games.
799
00:44:34,109 --> 00:44:36,308
I mean, you wouldn't understand
'cause you're a Pole.
800
00:44:36,309 --> 00:44:39,788
But we hold the Commonwealth Games
in very high regard out here.
801
00:44:39,789 --> 00:44:41,948
Don't we, Roy?
802
00:44:41,949 --> 00:44:48,028
So, Roy, to be clear, not fatal.
803
00:44:48,029 --> 00:44:51,188
OK? Not fatal.
Just a flesh wound, alright?
804
00:44:51,189 --> 00:44:55,108
So I'm thinking, you know,
shoulder or rump, OK?
805
00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:57,428
And we can just
wipe this shit off the table
806
00:44:57,429 --> 00:45:01,108
because she is just a lying fraud, OK?
807
00:45:01,109 --> 00:45:04,628
And he's gonna sort you out
with the six and a half.
808
00:45:04,629 --> 00:45:06,428
You sure you wanna go cheap on this?
809
00:45:06,429 --> 00:45:10,188
Mate, I'm being fiscally responsible.
810
00:45:10,829 --> 00:45:12,748
As you wish, Senator.
811
00:45:12,749 --> 00:45:19,748
Oh, and Roy, whoever does this has to
use a Bling 4 bolt-action rifle, OK?
812
00:45:19,749 --> 00:45:21,068
Same as Penny's.
813
00:45:21,069 --> 00:45:23,788
That may cost a little bit extra.
814
00:45:23,789 --> 00:45:25,749
That would be right. Roy, Roy...
815
00:45:28,389 --> 00:45:31,708
...I'm not gonna end up with a bullet
in my brain, am I, mate?
816
00:45:31,709 --> 00:45:32,749
No. Trust me.
817
00:45:32,750 --> 00:45:35,348
In any case, I know the right surgeon.
818
00:45:35,349 --> 00:45:37,308
- You like these?
- Oh, my God. They look much better.
819
00:45:37,309 --> 00:45:39,788
A square frame.
Mm. I thought they... (LAUGHS)
820
00:45:39,789 --> 00:45:41,828
- No, so much better. It's incredible.
- No, no, no.
821
00:45:41,829 --> 00:45:46,638
I felt like... like it was
the first time...
822
00:45:47,589 --> 00:45:49,949
...I'd felt free since I was
seven years old.
823
00:45:51,835 --> 00:45:53,675
You set me free.
824
00:45:56,549 --> 00:45:58,149
Thank you.
825
00:45:59,229 --> 00:46:00,709
You're welcome.
826
00:46:02,749 --> 00:46:05,549
(SIGHS) It's getting late.
827
00:46:07,069 --> 00:46:10,868
You... wanna get a drink? Are you hungry?
828
00:46:11,422 --> 00:46:14,108
I mean, I'm not paying for this session.
829
00:46:14,109 --> 00:46:16,828
The government is,
so technically I'm not your patient.
830
00:46:16,829 --> 00:46:19,268
- No, I'd love to get a drink.
- Great.
831
00:46:19,269 --> 00:46:20,429
It's not really a comedy,
832
00:46:20,430 --> 00:46:23,908
but I am pleased to say I managed to
get through two seasons of The Crown
833
00:46:23,909 --> 00:46:27,108
with my republican ideals fully intact.
834
00:46:27,109 --> 00:46:29,628
I'm quite keen on the royals
at the moment, actually.
835
00:46:29,629 --> 00:46:31,229
- Really?
- Mm.
836
00:46:32,789 --> 00:46:34,028
Anyway... I don't think so.
837
00:46:34,029 --> 00:46:36,108
- Have you seen Friday Night Lights?
- No. What's that?
838
00:46:36,109 --> 00:46:37,309
It's the best series ever made.
839
00:46:38,112 --> 00:46:40,308
I get the feeling that that's not
a new series, though.
840
00:46:40,309 --> 00:46:41,469
- Have you not seen that?
- No.
841
00:46:41,470 --> 00:46:43,708
- Oh, my God!
- Who's in that?
842
00:46:43,709 --> 00:46:46,268
- Connie Britton.
- Mm-hm.
843
00:46:46,269 --> 00:46:49,548
- And, ah... Coach.
- And Coach?
844
00:46:49,549 --> 00:46:52,476
And Coach. Connie Britton and Coach.
845
00:46:56,469 --> 00:46:58,108
- Night.
- Night. Night.
846
00:46:58,109 --> 00:46:59,708
Hey...
847
00:47:00,235 --> 00:47:03,308
Why did you kick me out of that
meeting with Roy and Jakub today?
848
00:47:03,309 --> 00:47:05,388
'Cause it was... it was nothing.
849
00:47:05,389 --> 00:47:07,148
It wasn't very important.
850
00:47:07,149 --> 00:47:09,748
Oh, my God.
You're planning something stupid.
851
00:47:09,749 --> 00:47:11,508
What? Why would you... why would you
assume that?
852
00:47:11,509 --> 00:47:12,908
Because I bloody know you.
853
00:47:12,909 --> 00:47:16,228
It was a strategy meeting, right?
854
00:47:16,229 --> 00:47:18,588
Right, with your driver
and your lip-reader
855
00:47:18,589 --> 00:47:20,268
but not your chief of staff.
856
00:47:20,269 --> 00:47:24,508
Look, you need to get some shuteye,
I think,
857
00:47:24,509 --> 00:47:29,188
'cause you're looking
very... sleepyheaded,
858
00:47:29,189 --> 00:47:32,509
and snoozy, Nadia.
859
00:47:33,549 --> 00:47:34,749
Nadia?
860
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,108
- What?
- You just called me Nadia.
861
00:47:38,503 --> 00:47:40,964
- I didn't.
- You just called me Nadia.
862
00:47:40,965 --> 00:47:42,508
I did not.
863
00:47:42,509 --> 00:47:48,228
I said sleepyheaded tonight, goodnight.
864
00:47:48,924 --> 00:47:50,348
Right?
865
00:47:50,940 --> 00:47:56,307
So... fuckety night, crazy lady.
866
00:48:12,629 --> 00:48:16,909
(COOL MUSIC)
867
00:48:52,869 --> 00:48:54,268
(GUNSHOT)
868
00:48:54,269 --> 00:48:56,149
(SCREAMS)
869
00:48:57,389 --> 00:49:01,228
It's barely a nick.
It's fuckin' hopeless!
870
00:49:01,229 --> 00:49:03,868
I've done more damage
trimmin' my fuckin' nasal hair.
871
00:49:03,869 --> 00:49:06,788
- This is a disaster!
- Yeah, well, I didn't wanna hurt ya.
872
00:49:06,789 --> 00:49:09,548
Mate, the whole point of the exercise
was to hurt me, yes?
873
00:49:09,549 --> 00:49:15,028
Remember? Shoot him in a soft fleshy
part, notably, you know, the arse.
874
00:49:15,029 --> 00:49:19,148
Fuck, I... and I'm sorry, Roy.
Commonwealth Games?
875
00:49:19,149 --> 00:49:21,628
This man was never in the
Commonwealth Games.
876
00:49:21,629 --> 00:49:23,428
- Yeah, I was.
- What, for shooting?
877
00:49:23,429 --> 00:49:24,908
- Yeah, I was.
- Bullshit!
878
00:49:24,909 --> 00:49:26,828
- I was!
- Well, I'm never watching them again.
879
00:49:26,829 --> 00:49:29,348
Oh, great!
880
00:49:30,104 --> 00:49:31,188
Look at this!
881
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,828
That's how I'm supposed to look.
Why does she look like the victim?
882
00:49:34,829 --> 00:49:36,148
Because you pushed me over.
883
00:49:36,149 --> 00:49:38,908
Yeah, tryin' to save your life. Come on!
884
00:49:38,909 --> 00:49:40,708
All you had to do was just
keep walking, Cleave.
885
00:49:40,709 --> 00:49:43,188
Sudden hits movements during a hit,
not very useful, mate.
886
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:45,868
- Down to you, Cleave.
- Oh, like everything else, mate.
887
00:49:45,869 --> 00:49:48,748
But it's fine. You don't have to be
hurt to appear injured.
888
00:49:48,749 --> 00:49:51,228
I'll get my friend.
It'll cost you another five.
889
00:49:51,229 --> 00:49:53,588
Oh, another five?
So are you counting this, Roy?
890
00:49:53,589 --> 00:49:54,709
That's 10 now.
891
00:49:54,710 --> 00:49:58,828
Commonwealth Games my arse,
and why are you doing hits?
892
00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:02,068
I thought you had your fancypants
restaurant chain with Kirsty?
893
00:50:02,069 --> 00:50:04,828
Yeah. Can we just not talk about
Kirsty please, Cleave?
894
00:50:04,829 --> 00:50:06,321
Ooh! I see!
895
00:50:06,322 --> 00:50:10,828
But, for another five, I reckon
I could solve all your problems.
896
00:50:10,829 --> 00:50:13,228
Another five, huh?
897
00:50:13,229 --> 00:50:14,389
I know who shot Penny Evans.
898
00:50:14,390 --> 00:50:16,708
- What?
- Well, I was offered the job,
899
00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:19,028
but I was busy so I just referred it
to a mate of mine.
900
00:50:19,029 --> 00:50:21,108
And? She ordered it herself.
901
00:50:21,109 --> 00:50:23,068
I knew it.
902
00:50:23,069 --> 00:50:25,308
I fuckin' knew it!
903
00:50:25,309 --> 00:50:27,388
Unbelievable!
904
00:50:27,389 --> 00:50:32,469
What kind of a scumbag
orders a hit on themselves?
905
00:50:40,749 --> 00:50:41,989
(SNEEZES)
906
00:50:43,229 --> 00:50:45,629
REPORTER: Senator... Senator Greene...
907
00:50:47,309 --> 00:50:49,868
Are they any closer to...
908
00:50:49,869 --> 00:50:53,868
- Senator, just a few words.
- Do you know the sniper?
909
00:50:53,869 --> 00:50:58,509
Any ideas on the sniper, Senator?
910
00:51:07,069 --> 00:51:08,588
Oh.
911
00:51:08,589 --> 00:51:09,868
How you doing, Cleaver?
912
00:51:09,869 --> 00:51:11,549
Glad you pulled through.
913
00:51:15,829 --> 00:51:17,988
I want you to withdraw this action
914
00:51:17,989 --> 00:51:21,468
and resign from Parliament this
afternoon for health reasons.
915
00:51:21,469 --> 00:51:23,109
(LAUGHS)
916
00:51:25,029 --> 00:51:26,709
Have a look.
917
00:51:31,069 --> 00:51:33,908
That's the name of the fellow
who shot you.
918
00:51:34,339 --> 00:51:37,228
And I know who organised it, so...
919
00:51:38,171 --> 00:51:41,109
...walk away or it's prison.
920
00:51:52,869 --> 00:51:55,868
After advice from my doctors,
921
00:51:55,869 --> 00:51:58,948
it has become apparent,
following my shooting,
922
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:04,580
the stress of these proceedings and
my relentless work as a senator
923
00:52:04,581 --> 00:52:09,388
has absolutely taken its toll on me
and affected my health very badly.
924
00:52:09,389 --> 00:52:12,228
As such, I will be withdrawing.
925
00:52:12,229 --> 00:52:14,748
I have withdrawn the proceedings
against Senator Greene,
926
00:52:14,749 --> 00:52:17,988
and I will be informing the
President of the Senate
927
00:52:17,989 --> 00:52:20,829
that I resign my seat immediately.
928
00:52:28,949 --> 00:52:30,869
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
929
00:52:38,952 --> 00:52:40,189
What do you want?
930
00:52:42,309 --> 00:52:44,708
I'm withdrawing my claim on the painting.
931
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:47,828
Nope. Seriously.
932
00:52:48,528 --> 00:52:50,988
Look, Jay, we're both here now.
933
00:52:50,989 --> 00:52:54,508
And there is serious stuff
to be done and, quite frankly,
934
00:52:54,509 --> 00:52:57,508
we've both been behaving like
a pair of spoilt brats for years.
935
00:52:57,509 --> 00:52:59,508
I mean, God knows how much have we spent
936
00:52:59,509 --> 00:53:02,428
trying to own a painting
that we both know to be crap?
937
00:53:02,968 --> 00:53:05,108
I know, but Dad said...
938
00:53:05,109 --> 00:53:07,306
No, don't go there.
939
00:53:08,949 --> 00:53:13,482
Look, we need to rebuild
our relationship.
940
00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:17,668
Not just for you and me,
but for the nation.
941
00:53:18,178 --> 00:53:22,349
I mean, the party's all at sea
without us, if we're divided.
942
00:53:23,829 --> 00:53:27,988
Well, God knows, I don't wanna spend
any more money on lawyers.
943
00:53:27,989 --> 00:53:29,234
No.
944
00:53:31,879 --> 00:53:33,429
So...
945
00:53:35,189 --> 00:53:36,789
...you get the painting.
946
00:53:43,869 --> 00:53:47,148
It really is a piece of shit,
isn't it? (LAUGHS) I mean.
947
00:53:47,149 --> 00:53:49,068
I mean, look at it. God!
948
00:53:49,069 --> 00:53:51,508
Are we morons or what?
949
00:53:51,509 --> 00:53:53,628
I mean, how much have we spent on
this bit of kindling?
950
00:53:53,629 --> 00:53:54,709
10 mill?
951
00:53:54,710 --> 00:53:58,188
Mate, we are two pricks
forever linked by a third prick.
952
00:53:58,189 --> 00:53:59,748
(BOTH LAUGH)
953
00:53:59,749 --> 00:54:03,749
Here's to a nest of pricks.
Here's to a nest of pricks, mate.
954
00:54:09,269 --> 00:54:12,069
I can't tell you how happy
this makes me, Cal.
955
00:54:13,229 --> 00:54:15,268
Oh, it's alright, mate.
956
00:54:15,269 --> 00:54:18,108
Bulldog. (CHUCKLES)
957
00:54:18,109 --> 00:54:20,189
We're together again.
958
00:54:21,989 --> 00:54:24,829
And, mate, you and I are unstoppable.
959
00:54:30,149 --> 00:54:32,189
I... I love you, Jay.
960
00:54:33,589 --> 00:54:35,709
I love you, too, Piggy. Come here.
961
00:54:39,389 --> 00:54:41,468
Oh, God!
962
00:54:41,469 --> 00:54:43,268
Can you get me a tissue, please, mate?
963
00:54:43,269 --> 00:54:45,709
It's embarrassing.
964
00:55:01,309 --> 00:55:03,509
Piggy! You little arse wipe!
965
00:55:35,389 --> 00:55:38,828
I knew you'd be back before I left.
966
00:55:38,829 --> 00:55:41,869
(RAUNCHY MUSIC)
967
00:55:53,029 --> 00:55:56,548
For God's sake, officer. Do your
bloody job and arrest this man!
968
00:55:56,549 --> 00:56:00,468
Are you gonna pour, Caitlin Farquhart?
969
00:56:00,469 --> 00:56:03,069
- No. No using the toilet.
- Thank you.
970
00:56:04,789 --> 00:56:08,188
If I can't convince the Chinese
to remain neutral, God forbid.
971
00:56:08,189 --> 00:56:10,028
You look absolutely radiant.
972
00:56:10,029 --> 00:56:11,548
Get me a drink, Cal.
973
00:56:11,549 --> 00:56:13,988
And you've created
an international incident.
974
00:56:13,989 --> 00:56:15,828
What in Christ's name
did you say to them?!
975
00:56:15,829 --> 00:56:17,468
- Liars.
- You appear on their website.
976
00:56:17,469 --> 00:56:19,228
- All of them, liars. Fake news.
- There is footage.
977
00:56:19,229 --> 00:56:21,949
- Just drive, Cleaver!
- Oh, fine! Oh, God!
978
00:56:21,999 --> 00:56:26,549
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