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1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:03,800
Oh, shit. Sorry, mate.
2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,719
I was wondering if you would like
to come to Canberra some time.
3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,479
I'm try to set up a steering committee.
4
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,999
We're meant to be living in your
fabulous harbour view apartment
5
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,639
on your multimillion-dollar salary
but, no,
6
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,359
instead you decide to lodge
another appeal against your brother
7
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,535
and are living in this dump.
8
00:00:19,536 --> 00:00:21,199
My father promised me that painting.
9
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,119
Piece of shit painting,
with three cows eating grass.
10
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,999
So with Missy, you brought her to my
house for a couple of days and that
11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,839
was almost two years ago.
12
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,039
So you know what,
I think it is your turn.
13
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,559
(GUNSHOT)
14
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,280
(SCREAMING)
15
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,799
She has been lying to all of us
to create a persona.
16
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,999
She is a 100% fraud.
17
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,279
Senator Greene,
you'll be hearing from my lawyers
18
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,599
as early as tomorrow morning
19
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,160
because no-one calls me a bald-faced
liar and doesn't pay for it.
20
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:12,053
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
21
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,919
At 1530 hours Eastern Standard Time,
22
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,839
I informed the Governor General that
following a successful leadership
23
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,159
challenge in the party room,
24
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,759
I have been elected the leader
25
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,760
of the Federal
Parliamentary Liberal Party.
26
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,160
His Excellency then commissioned me
to form a government.
27
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,439
Tomorrow the sun will rise on Anzac Day
28
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,319
as we honour those who gave so much
29
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,959
so that we might have
the freedoms that we enjoy.
30
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,479
I'm only too cognisant
of the significance
31
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,679
and grave responsibility
bestowed upon me.
32
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,399
MAN: Prime Minister,
is there blood on your hands?
33
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,079
WOMAN: Do you have the backing
of the whole party?
34
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,159
I acknowledge the enormous
contribution made by my predecessor,
35
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,799
Angela Sway in her long
28 weeks in office.
36
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,519
Let me assure you
37
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,679
there is no divisional rancour
within my government.
38
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,839
We are a broad church
39
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:20,239
but united in the great dream
of what this country can become.
40
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,159
MAN: Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
41
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:26,679
The whole party room sings a song
of cohesion and positivity
42
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,159
about the great tasks that lie ahead.
43
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,240
(TYRES SCREECHING)
44
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,120
(BANG!)
45
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:40,960
(BANG!)
46
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,360
(BANG!)
47
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,560
Oh, you b...
48
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,519
You know you are due in Senate,
don't you?
49
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,359
There's a special sitting.
50
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,599
And an English couple rang
wanting your address.
51
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:11,119
Oh, my God! My new buzz
state people, is that today?
52
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,479
You do know that it is probably
illegal and it could be seen as you
53
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,239
profiting personally
from serving the Commonwealth.
54
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,839
It's a murky area of law.
55
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,000
They're English, Cleaver, they're
not going to survive your squalor.
56
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,839
Fuck.
57
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,240
(DOORBELL RINGS)
58
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,199
- Senator Cleaver Greene?
- Yes. Mr Clifford?
59
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,919
Where is Mrs Clifford? No luggage?
That is fine. Come in.
60
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,839
I am just putting the finishing
touches on your roof.
61
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,479
- Good morning. We are the Cliffords.
- Good morning.
62
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,919
Oh, you're the Cliffords?
63
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,479
I had understood that
there were only two of you.
64
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,480
There are.
65
00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:53,680
Two.
66
00:03:53,681 --> 00:03:55,759
Alright. OK. I'm sorry.
67
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,999
Come on in, Cliffords. Come in.
68
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,279
Make yourselves at home.
69
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,799
You're not a Clifford.
70
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:02,880
You are Senator Cleaver Greene?
71
00:04:02,881 --> 00:04:04,599
Yes, sadly yes.
72
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,600
Well, then...
73
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,519
Consider yourself served.
74
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,239
Are you kidding me?
75
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,199
A summons? Who is it? Let me guess.
76
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,799
- Penelope...
- Penelope Evans.
77
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,999
Yes, yes, here we go.
78
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,879
Defamation.
79
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,119
Traduced and lowered her standing.
Are you kidding me?
80
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,879
What special class of moron does that?
81
00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:28,506
Huh?
82
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,839
Accused the plaintiff of deceit and
dishonesty in a malicious attempt
83
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,199
to damage her politically.
84
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,839
Can you believe this shit?
85
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,399
(DOORBELL RINGS)
86
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,480
Oh, great. Excuse me, that will be
my firing squad, Cliffords.
87
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,439
Oh! Have I woken up in a French vase?
88
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,479
Reporting for duty, boss.
89
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,199
I am so ready for this.
90
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,999
Your press secretary, wow!
91
00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,599
I guess it's not wow
but it is an opportunity.
92
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,279
I didn't study journalism
but Wendy said not to be discouraged
93
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,279
because I'm a good writer
with a brain and I really need this.
94
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,759
So, thanks.
95
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,799
So, Wendy said all that, did she?
96
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,279
Good.
97
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,079
I am pretty good at making stuff up.
98
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,039
So I should be fine.
99
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,080
- Good.
- Bathroom?
100
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,639
- Uh... where should we...?
- You go upstairs.
101
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,599
There, take my room.
102
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,199
I will sleep on the sofa.
103
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,879
- Great. She really needs a nap, so...
- Yes.
104
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,439
A couple of hours, though.
105
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,719
- See you at the house.
- Yes.
106
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,279
Give us a call before you come in.
107
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,239
I have a few admin issues to iron out.
108
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,240
Have you got a plunger?
Your sink is clogged with hair.
109
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,959
I followed up my degree at the
Harvard School of journalism
110
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,759
with four years at Reuters
on their international desk
111
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,399
and then the Guardian.
112
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,600
You are horribly overqualified
for a Press Secretary.
113
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,119
Do you know anything about the man
that you would be working for?
114
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:04,079
- Senator Greene?
- I know he is a maverick.
115
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,639
Maverick is a word.
116
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,079
He was strong on farmers' rights.
117
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,880
- On the environment.
- Strong is also a strong word.
118
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,040
- OK, I need the job.
- Mm-hm.
119
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,319
I have two kids, we moved here,
my husband is a lobbyist.
120
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,679
Newspapers now,
121
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,520
they're putting off more people
than they can sell issues.
122
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,359
He is a bit of a nut job, isn't he?
123
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,800
Yes. That is the correct
choice of words, yes.
124
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,279
Roland fucking Webster, eh?
125
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,440
Mate, I thought
I had your unequivocal support.
126
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,519
Roland's purely a stopgap.
127
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,999
Six months to keep the moderates happy.
128
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,360
Then we make our move.
129
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,080
Does he know the real story
with the terrorist attack?
130
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,639
No.
131
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,879
Why burden him with the details?
He is just the PM.
132
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,320
Let him rabbit on about security,
that always plays well.
133
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,840
We just need to get this
Noyce business through the Senate.
134
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,359
You know that Penny Evans has got
her knickers in a knot over it,
135
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,360
don't you?
136
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,360
(LAUGHS)
137
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,680
Look at the little pig.
138
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,639
We can't afford getting sued
in your present circumstances.
139
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,279
Mate, I can't afford fucking lunch.
140
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,599
Alright? The banks won't budge.
141
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,079
I'm living out of your piggybank.
142
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,519
And now this lunatic is suing me.
143
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:33,950
I can continue to act
as this banking facility for you
144
00:07:33,951 --> 00:07:37,159
but obviously we must do this covertly.
145
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,600
In time
I will adhere to our arrangements.
146
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:49,599
I do this because I regard you
as my friend and not just my client.
147
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,720
Yeah, likewise.
148
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:53,243
- A close friend.
- Yeah.
149
00:07:53,244 --> 00:07:56,724
And one day maybe you will be
in a position as a friend...
150
00:07:58,684 --> 00:08:00,764
...to do me a favour.
151
00:08:08,924 --> 00:08:11,594
Oh. Yes. Of course.
152
00:08:11,595 --> 00:08:12,775
Thanks, mate.
153
00:08:12,776 --> 00:08:17,083
This government, with its hatred
of the ordinary Australian,
154
00:08:17,084 --> 00:08:21,763
is basically prepared to let one of
Australia's most loved icons,
155
00:08:21,764 --> 00:08:23,403
the Oz Ripple,
156
00:08:23,404 --> 00:08:27,363
slip through our hands
and into the all too willing grasp
157
00:08:27,364 --> 00:08:29,083
of the Chinese people.
158
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,283
Senator, put your prop down!
159
00:08:31,284 --> 00:08:36,243
Unless us, as Australians,
stop the sale of Noyce Industries
160
00:08:36,244 --> 00:08:37,683
to the Chinese,
161
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,843
this ice-cream
that has been so much a part
162
00:08:40,844 --> 00:08:43,163
of the lives of ordinary Australians
163
00:08:43,164 --> 00:08:45,403
will slip through Noyce Industries' hands
164
00:08:45,404 --> 00:08:48,683
and into the ever clasping, ever grasping
165
00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:51,203
clutches of a communist regime.
166
00:08:51,819 --> 00:08:53,723
Bit by bit,
167
00:08:53,724 --> 00:08:59,123
Australia is being handed over
to any Chin or Chan with money.
168
00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:00,763
Senator, you've been warned.
169
00:09:00,764 --> 00:09:03,763
And look what they are proposing to do
170
00:09:03,764 --> 00:09:05,523
with the centre of our beloved ice-cream.
171
00:09:05,524 --> 00:09:07,203
Senator, you have been warned!
172
00:09:07,204 --> 00:09:10,523
Gone will be the green and gold
of my childhood,
173
00:09:10,524 --> 00:09:13,723
replaced with a giant red blob.
174
00:09:13,724 --> 00:09:17,603
A giant red communist blob.
175
00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:19,523
(HUBBUB)
176
00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:25,763
Well, as leader of the Penny Evans
party, I say to you,
177
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:30,523
Australia will never have a red
heart as long as there is breath...
178
00:09:30,524 --> 00:09:32,403
...breath in my body.
179
00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:35,083
(PEOPLE ASSENT)
180
00:09:35,084 --> 00:09:37,883
Just look at her application.
This woman is fantastic, Cleaver.
181
00:09:37,884 --> 00:09:39,004
Yes. Yes.
182
00:09:39,005 --> 00:09:43,323
She seems to have wasted a lot of
time in New York, London, Syria,
183
00:09:43,324 --> 00:09:44,444
Iraq, blah, blah.
184
00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:47,403
I mean, I am after somebody
with a bit more of a domestic focus.
185
00:09:47,404 --> 00:09:50,283
She is a Walkley
award-winning journalist, Cleaver.
186
00:09:50,284 --> 00:09:52,083
They give them away
in cornflakes packets.
187
00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:55,523
Just leave it with me. I am onto it.
I am brewing something up.
188
00:09:55,524 --> 00:09:57,123
Have you told Frank he's fired yet?
189
00:09:57,124 --> 00:09:59,163
Not as such. He is a sensitive soul.
190
00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:01,363
He is a lump of basalt, Cleaver.
191
00:10:01,364 --> 00:10:03,923
He may have taken a few too many
knocks to his head
192
00:10:03,924 --> 00:10:05,323
in his sporting career.
193
00:10:05,324 --> 00:10:07,083
Well, a few more might have been good.
194
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:08,523
- You sack him.
- I'm going to.
195
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:09,564
- When?
- Today.
196
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,283
- When today?
- When he sobers up.
197
00:10:11,284 --> 00:10:13,323
And what are you going to do about
this defamation case?
198
00:10:13,324 --> 00:10:14,484
- Oh-ho...
- Cleaver.
199
00:10:14,485 --> 00:10:17,083
This could kill your career
and I need this job.
200
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,163
- So...
- I know, I know.
201
00:10:19,164 --> 00:10:20,164
Oh, my God.
202
00:10:21,076 --> 00:10:22,803
So I said to her,
this was on the Tuesday...
203
00:10:22,804 --> 00:10:24,004
On the Tuesday, yeah.
204
00:10:24,005 --> 00:10:26,003
If Bryce and I are going to go
to the Blue Mountains
205
00:10:26,004 --> 00:10:27,483
and have this weekend,
206
00:10:27,484 --> 00:10:30,923
and really talk about our
relationship, honestly and frankly...
207
00:10:30,924 --> 00:10:32,323
Mm-hm.
208
00:10:32,324 --> 00:10:34,323
Oh, no. Correction, sorry.
209
00:10:34,324 --> 00:10:36,003
I said this to her on the Wednesday.
210
00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:37,923
Oh, OK, on the Wednesday, yeah.
211
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:40,363
Because on the Tuesday morning
I had breakfast with Simone.
212
00:10:40,364 --> 00:10:41,524
On Tuesday morning.
213
00:10:41,525 --> 00:10:44,483
And I knew full well that Natalie was
going to opt out of that breakfast,
214
00:10:44,484 --> 00:10:46,563
and sure enough, come Monday night...
215
00:10:46,564 --> 00:10:48,363
Oh, Monday night. Oh!
216
00:10:48,364 --> 00:10:49,723
(LAUGHS) Gosh. Um...
217
00:10:49,724 --> 00:10:52,563
I think we are getting into some
really interesting territory here
218
00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:55,708
but I need to check on something
and I'll... OK?
219
00:10:59,724 --> 00:11:00,724
(SIGHS)
220
00:11:08,884 --> 00:11:10,724
(MUFFLED YELL)
221
00:11:12,524 --> 00:11:14,603
(SIGHS)
222
00:11:14,604 --> 00:11:16,203
(EXHALES)
223
00:11:16,204 --> 00:11:17,204
Mm.
224
00:11:21,124 --> 00:11:23,563
Um... So, it was Monday night.
225
00:11:23,564 --> 00:11:24,684
No, actually.
226
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,883
In fairness to Natalie,
it was Sunday evening...
227
00:11:26,884 --> 00:11:28,243
Oh, OK. ..that she rang.
228
00:11:28,244 --> 00:11:30,004
Well, that makes a difference.
229
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:37,003
What is it about a green and yellow
striped something that makes it
230
00:11:37,004 --> 00:11:38,803
particularly Australian?
231
00:11:38,804 --> 00:11:41,403
- Green and gold.
- It's not even the colour of our flag.
232
00:11:41,404 --> 00:11:43,003
It is meant to be wattle, isn't it?
233
00:11:43,004 --> 00:11:44,204
Well... I mean...
234
00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:48,883
It is also the colours of Ethiopia,
Mauritania, Bolivia, Burkina...
235
00:11:48,884 --> 00:11:50,643
Where the fuck is Burkina Faso?
236
00:11:50,644 --> 00:11:52,803
I mean, it's an ice-cream.
237
00:11:52,804 --> 00:11:55,283
What is so special about an ice-cream?
238
00:11:55,284 --> 00:12:00,763
Well, for me, I had some pretty
special memories of my childhood.
239
00:12:00,764 --> 00:12:03,523
My dad would take me fishing
on Yamba jetty
240
00:12:03,524 --> 00:12:06,883
and if I caught something he would say,
241
00:12:06,884 --> 00:12:10,220
"Nic, I reckon that deserves
an Oz Ripple, don't you?"
242
00:12:11,124 --> 00:12:13,923
Alright, well, a heart-warming tale.
243
00:12:13,924 --> 00:12:15,740
But he never forgot that either.
244
00:12:16,604 --> 00:12:19,804
When he was dying that was almost
the last thing he talked about.
245
00:12:21,564 --> 00:12:23,764
OK. Genuinely moving.
246
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,643
But... but...
247
00:12:26,644 --> 00:12:30,163
...haven't we got bigger issues to fry
in this country?
248
00:12:30,164 --> 00:12:34,283
We do but that would require you to
open one of these folders and read
249
00:12:34,284 --> 00:12:36,563
what is in it and actually form
an opinion on something.
250
00:12:36,564 --> 00:12:38,443
Yeah, not going to happen.
251
00:12:38,444 --> 00:12:40,603
3-points, ladies and gentlemen.
252
00:12:40,604 --> 00:12:42,803
You know that you mentioned the Oz Ripple
253
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,803
in your 90-hour maiden speech?
254
00:12:44,804 --> 00:12:45,923
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
255
00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:46,924
- No, I didn't.
- You did.
256
00:12:46,925 --> 00:12:48,923
You called it the Oz Ripper.
257
00:12:48,924 --> 00:12:50,603
Oh, the Oz Ripper? Yes.
258
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,843
You asked me to gather some Aussie icons
259
00:12:52,844 --> 00:12:54,763
so you could sound like
a man of the people
260
00:12:54,764 --> 00:12:56,763
and I suggested the Oz Ripple.
261
00:12:56,764 --> 00:12:59,643
It was only one that had not been
flogged off that I knew of.
262
00:12:59,644 --> 00:13:01,803
Well, we don't make anything here.
263
00:13:01,804 --> 00:13:05,443
We are a proud nation of baristas
and hairdressers.
264
00:13:05,444 --> 00:13:09,243
Penny Evans is getting hit after hit
about it on social media.
265
00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:10,963
About the Oz Ripper? Ripple.
266
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,763
- Ripple. Yes.
- Ripple. Oz Ripple.
267
00:13:12,764 --> 00:13:14,643
Positive or negative?
268
00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:17,163
A quarter of a million positives.
269
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,764
- You're kidding me.
- No.
270
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:22,283
- Fucking Oz Ripper. Ripple.
- Ripple.
271
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:23,723
- Holy shit.
- Ripple.
272
00:13:23,724 --> 00:13:26,403
My old man was not much of a talker.
273
00:13:26,404 --> 00:13:30,043
Our special time
was the hours we'd spend together
274
00:13:30,044 --> 00:13:32,843
fishing off the old Yamba jetty.
275
00:13:32,844 --> 00:13:35,764
Just him and me, father and son.
276
00:13:36,804 --> 00:13:42,123
A battered old fishing cap,
pulled down over his balding pate.
277
00:13:42,124 --> 00:13:44,564
Pinkies inking on the old schnozz.
278
00:13:45,604 --> 00:13:48,563
How I relish those days.
279
00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:52,244
Days I now share with my own son.
280
00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:55,363
And when he was a little fella
281
00:13:55,364 --> 00:13:58,604
and he would reel in
the occasional flatty...
282
00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:01,123
...sand whiting,
283
00:14:01,124 --> 00:14:04,644
and I would turn to him
and I would say, "Gee, son...
284
00:14:05,764 --> 00:14:07,804
"I reckon that one is worth
an Oz Ripple."
285
00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:15,083
And we would bite into that
choc-coated map of this nation.
286
00:14:15,084 --> 00:14:20,523
It was the last thing I shared
with my old man before he died.
287
00:14:20,524 --> 00:14:24,763
For me, this is a deeply personal
crusade.
288
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:30,083
There are others who have jumped on
the bandwagon but, for me,
289
00:14:30,084 --> 00:14:31,164
it is personal.
290
00:14:31,165 --> 00:14:35,763
What are we going to leave our
children or our children's children
291
00:14:35,764 --> 00:14:40,123
or our children's children's children,
292
00:14:40,124 --> 00:14:41,523
if not this?
293
00:14:41,524 --> 00:14:43,364
Hear, hear.
294
00:14:46,004 --> 00:14:49,323
Don't you Yamba me, you little ferret.
295
00:14:49,324 --> 00:14:52,083
How dare you grandstand
on my bloody issue?
296
00:14:52,084 --> 00:14:53,443
I will take you down.
297
00:14:53,444 --> 00:14:54,963
I got your little writ.
298
00:14:54,964 --> 00:14:59,003
You must be the only person
in human history to sue someone
299
00:14:59,004 --> 00:15:02,563
who is accusing them for being more
intelligent than they actually are.
300
00:15:02,564 --> 00:15:04,643
You so don't get politics.
301
00:15:04,644 --> 00:15:06,723
I know how this place works
and I am going to hurt you.
302
00:15:06,724 --> 00:15:09,923
You do, every time you speak
the Queen's English.
303
00:15:09,924 --> 00:15:12,843
Oz Ripple is mine, lady.
304
00:15:12,844 --> 00:15:14,123
I checked Hansard.
305
00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:15,883
You called it the Oz Ripper.
306
00:15:15,884 --> 00:15:18,963
Or perhaps you were celebrating
some Australian mass murderer.
307
00:15:18,964 --> 00:15:21,643
You handpick history like grapes,
do you know that?
308
00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:24,043
You take the ones you like and
spit out the bits that don't suit.
309
00:15:24,044 --> 00:15:25,683
You're just a criminal dilettante,
Cleaver.
310
00:15:25,684 --> 00:15:27,483
You have nothing to say about anything.
311
00:15:27,484 --> 00:15:30,283
I'd respect you more
if you were a genuine old-fashioned,
312
00:15:30,284 --> 00:15:31,523
tar and feather bigot.
313
00:15:31,524 --> 00:15:35,723
To affect racism and not actually
believe in it yourself,
314
00:15:35,724 --> 00:15:40,924
that is about as low as you can get
without being an actual virus.
315
00:15:42,044 --> 00:15:43,724
Oz Ripple is mine.
316
00:15:45,124 --> 00:15:46,364
It's mine.
317
00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:50,803
Cal, put your mind at ease.
Nothing changes.
318
00:15:50,804 --> 00:15:53,403
You are still
our number one big boy around here.
319
00:15:53,404 --> 00:15:56,483
We thought you might spark better
off someone young and pretty.
320
00:15:56,484 --> 00:15:59,123
I might spark better
if I'm left well alone.
321
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,123
We're trying to bring in a younger
audience to hear your wisdom.
322
00:16:02,124 --> 00:16:04,083
Hmm. But she's too young.
323
00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:07,803
And she lacks experience
and she does not have my gravitas.
324
00:16:07,804 --> 00:16:10,883
We hear you.
If it does not work out, poof.
325
00:16:10,884 --> 00:16:12,963
She is gone. Your call.
326
00:16:12,964 --> 00:16:15,817
- That quick. Nothing changes.
- Excellent.
327
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,643
What the hell is that?
328
00:16:19,644 --> 00:16:20,644
Strong, isn't it?
329
00:16:21,724 --> 00:16:23,043
But it's my show.
330
00:16:23,044 --> 00:16:25,163
100%.
331
00:16:25,164 --> 00:16:27,204
The sign is just a sign.
332
00:16:28,804 --> 00:16:31,084
You two are going to have a lot of fun.
333
00:16:34,564 --> 00:16:37,803
The big issue, the one I really want
to get stuck into tonight
334
00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:40,043
and, gee, this gets my dander up...
335
00:16:40,044 --> 00:16:42,604
You need to watch that at your age, Cal.
336
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:46,883
...is all this kerfuffle
about the sale of an ice-cream.
337
00:16:46,884 --> 00:16:50,043
This is the sale of a major
manufacturing company
338
00:16:50,044 --> 00:16:53,003
and may cement
our economic future with China.
339
00:16:53,004 --> 00:16:54,883
Sales like this won't help everyone.
340
00:16:54,884 --> 00:16:58,003
Sounds like someone's superfund
might have shares in them, Cal.
341
00:16:58,004 --> 00:17:00,623
Is it in your best interest
if this goes through?
342
00:17:01,284 --> 00:17:05,203
My personal share portfolio has
nothing to do with this, Caitlyn.
343
00:17:05,204 --> 00:17:08,523
Don't we love him, girls,
when he becomes Mr Old Grumpy Pants?
344
00:17:08,524 --> 00:17:11,843
He is adorable. Like our old
favourite uncle, isn't he?
345
00:17:11,844 --> 00:17:13,923
Even though he is so very wrong.
346
00:17:13,924 --> 00:17:15,403
Oh, I'm not wrong.
347
00:17:15,404 --> 00:17:17,043
Yeah, you are.
348
00:17:17,044 --> 00:17:20,203
This ice-cream has been part
of our heritage
349
00:17:20,204 --> 00:17:23,843
ever since the Noyce family began
production over 70 years ago
350
00:17:23,844 --> 00:17:25,203
and built themselves
351
00:17:25,204 --> 00:17:27,643
into the massive Australian concern
they are today.
352
00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:30,683
This is not just about a delicious
ice-cream,
353
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:33,883
it is about who we are as a people.
354
00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:38,963
As today, ANZAC Day, we celebrate
the heroes of both wars,
355
00:17:38,964 --> 00:17:43,083
where young men gave their very
lives in service of our country.
356
00:17:43,084 --> 00:17:46,523
What did those green and gold
stripes really mean?
357
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:50,683
And are we going to settle for a red
blob in the middle of our country?
358
00:17:50,684 --> 00:17:52,764
Is that really what you want for us, Cal?
359
00:17:53,684 --> 00:17:54,963
Ha!
360
00:17:54,964 --> 00:17:56,723
Let us get a weather update.
361
00:17:56,724 --> 00:17:58,323
(SIGN-OFF MUSIC)
362
00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:00,403
OK, what the fuck just happened?
363
00:18:00,404 --> 00:18:02,004
What happened to the script?
364
00:18:13,084 --> 00:18:15,123
OK, that is coffee. That's cold coffee.
365
00:18:15,124 --> 00:18:16,484
I didn't have time to heat it.
366
00:18:18,244 --> 00:18:20,523
You have stained my shirt, crazy lady.
367
00:18:20,524 --> 00:18:22,203
You've stained my memories.
368
00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:25,123
That was MY personal story.
369
00:18:25,124 --> 00:18:27,283
Pardon me, but if you look at
your job discretion,
370
00:18:27,284 --> 00:18:31,363
you will see that you are actually
described as my researcher.
371
00:18:31,364 --> 00:18:34,443
Yeah? And so therefore
anything you tell me,
372
00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:36,163
I will assume to be research
373
00:18:36,164 --> 00:18:39,443
and that I can use it
unless otherwise specified.
374
00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:40,803
You are an arsehole.
375
00:18:40,804 --> 00:18:41,804
Use that.
376
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:46,803
On the upside,
your research has really...
377
00:18:46,804 --> 00:18:48,243
It was not research, Cleaver,
378
00:18:48,244 --> 00:18:52,123
that was my personal story
about my late father.
379
00:18:52,124 --> 00:18:53,763
Whatever the derivation,
380
00:18:53,764 --> 00:18:55,763
incredible result.
381
00:18:55,764 --> 00:19:00,843
Have a look for yourself. I'm running
red hot on social media right now.
382
00:19:00,844 --> 00:19:01,964
Red hot!
383
00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:06,563
You don't happen to have any other
stories that you can...?
384
00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:09,763
OK, now is probably not the right
time to talk about that.
385
00:19:09,764 --> 00:19:11,043
But have a think about it.
386
00:19:11,044 --> 00:19:15,083
Is there a change of shirt in here
you could help me out with?
387
00:19:15,084 --> 00:19:17,364
It's hanging out, Cleaver.
Have you sacked him yet?
388
00:19:24,004 --> 00:19:27,363
The weight is in these
Dickie Dougie Suits or emu suits.
389
00:19:27,364 --> 00:19:28,683
They can do the glassy thing.
390
00:19:28,684 --> 00:19:30,164
Go around and pick up the glass... OK.
391
00:19:31,084 --> 00:19:33,963
Just having a one-on-one
with Ryan Fefney.
392
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,535
Some very interesting intel
vis-a-vis a number of issues
393
00:19:37,536 --> 00:19:39,403
apropos what we are dealing with.
394
00:19:39,404 --> 00:19:42,084
- What are we dealing with?
- Well, exactly.
395
00:19:43,444 --> 00:19:45,323
How do you want me to play
this ice-cream thing?
396
00:19:45,324 --> 00:19:46,884
Frank... Look...
397
00:19:47,924 --> 00:19:50,763
Nicole has raised a few concerns.
398
00:19:50,764 --> 00:19:53,563
She is not up to it. Sorry to interrupt.
399
00:19:53,564 --> 00:19:57,563
I have to tell you as a mate
you have got to ditch her.
400
00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,883
It is funny you should say that
because she seems worried about you.
401
00:20:00,884 --> 00:20:03,443
She doesn't see what I do.
402
00:20:03,444 --> 00:20:04,923
Very few do.
403
00:20:04,924 --> 00:20:07,064
See, she is worried and I am worried
404
00:20:07,089 --> 00:20:09,348
that you've taken on too big a load.
405
00:20:10,564 --> 00:20:13,003
You... you look exhausted.
406
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:15,083
Unseen stress goes with the job.
407
00:20:15,084 --> 00:20:19,523
It's killing you and I'm not going
to live with your death on my hands.
408
00:20:19,524 --> 00:20:21,483
So what... Here's an idea.
409
00:20:21,484 --> 00:20:23,683
We cut back your days a bit,
410
00:20:23,684 --> 00:20:26,523
reduce that incredible workload
411
00:20:26,524 --> 00:20:29,643
and make sure you're in it
for the long haul.
412
00:20:29,644 --> 00:20:33,083
How would you see my new role, then?
413
00:20:33,084 --> 00:20:39,283
You will be the basalt
upon which my future is built.
414
00:20:39,284 --> 00:20:42,449
I need you right here
415
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:48,123
at the epicentre of contemporary
Australian political thought.
416
00:20:48,124 --> 00:20:49,923
This bar.
417
00:20:49,924 --> 00:20:51,483
Yeah? Listening.
418
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:54,803
Talking. Doing all the vital
one-on-one stuff.
419
00:20:54,804 --> 00:20:56,203
Would I still be the press officer?
420
00:20:56,204 --> 00:20:57,723
No, no, no.
421
00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:02,403
I'm... promoting you.
422
00:21:02,404 --> 00:21:07,163
You're going to be
my director of communications.
423
00:21:07,164 --> 00:21:09,963
Wow. Big responsibility!
424
00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:12,563
Yes, yes. It's a big responsibility.
425
00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:15,283
Just over the next little while,
426
00:21:15,284 --> 00:21:17,323
whenever you see Nicole,
427
00:21:17,324 --> 00:21:21,243
just give her a wide berth because
she's gonna be green with envy.
428
00:21:21,244 --> 00:21:25,803
Alright? And her... her neck's
on the chopping block.
429
00:21:25,804 --> 00:21:27,323
You're absolutely sure about this?
430
00:21:27,324 --> 00:21:29,603
- 100%.
- Have you spoke to the auditors?
431
00:21:29,604 --> 00:21:30,684
Yes.
432
00:21:30,685 --> 00:21:32,083
Did you call those numbers I gave you?
433
00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:34,803
- Yeah.
- Jesus.
434
00:21:34,804 --> 00:21:37,444
Confirm it again. You know
what this means if we're right?
435
00:21:41,844 --> 00:21:44,523
CLEAVER: I said I'd think about
taking Missy on,
436
00:21:44,524 --> 00:21:46,603
not actually take her on.
437
00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:48,963
I know she's fragile at present,
438
00:21:48,964 --> 00:21:52,723
but I don't have a bed or anything
for her or the baby.
439
00:21:52,724 --> 00:21:54,563
I need a proper press secretary.
440
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:59,083
I'm making significant headway
opposing this Oz Ripper sale.
441
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:03,203
This will put me on the map, but I
need someone with real experience,
442
00:22:03,204 --> 00:22:05,803
do you know what I mean?
Working the press 24/7.
443
00:22:05,804 --> 00:22:08,323
Call me the moment you get this message.
444
00:22:08,324 --> 00:22:10,924
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Press 4 to replay this message.
445
00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:17,723
I said I'd think about taking Missy
on, not actually take her on.
446
00:22:17,724 --> 00:22:21,763
OK, so your job is to generate
stories about me.
447
00:22:21,764 --> 00:22:25,083
OK? It doesn't matter what,
any old bullshit, it's just noise.
448
00:22:25,084 --> 00:22:27,083
OK? As long as I'm front and centre.
449
00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:30,203
So at the moment I need
as much exposure as possible
450
00:22:30,204 --> 00:22:31,483
about this Oz Ripper.
451
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:32,844
- Ripple.
- Ripple.
452
00:22:34,084 --> 00:22:36,003
Yeah, I heard Penny Evans
talking about it.
453
00:22:36,004 --> 00:22:37,323
Actually, she made a lot of sense.
454
00:22:37,324 --> 00:22:40,283
- No, she doesn't. She's a mad person.
- Oh.
455
00:22:40,284 --> 00:22:42,243
Yes, we hate... you hate her
456
00:22:42,244 --> 00:22:46,243
and you must do everything
in your power to destroy her.
457
00:22:46,244 --> 00:22:48,123
OK, fair enough.
458
00:22:48,124 --> 00:22:51,003
Now, we haven't talked about
my working arrangements yet.
459
00:22:51,004 --> 00:22:57,044
OK, now as I'm sure Wendy mentioned,
you would be job sharing.
460
00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:02,043
Wendy thought that you'd need
some time with Winston.
461
00:23:02,044 --> 00:23:03,883
Oh, that's very thoughtful of her.
462
00:23:03,884 --> 00:23:06,820
Yeah. So you will be job sharing with...
463
00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:13,003
...one of the most highly respected
veteran journos in the country.
464
00:23:13,004 --> 00:23:16,043
And so will I be sharing an office
with him or her?
465
00:23:16,044 --> 00:23:18,243
No, no, no. Well, he doesn't need
an office.
466
00:23:18,244 --> 00:23:21,483
He's fieldwork, kind of guy.
467
00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:23,803
So I'll be in with you and Nicole?
468
00:23:23,804 --> 00:23:25,323
OK. About Nicole.
469
00:23:25,324 --> 00:23:27,283
Here's the thing.
470
00:23:27,284 --> 00:23:31,763
You had best keep away from Nicole
for a while
471
00:23:31,764 --> 00:23:34,603
because she's in a really bad place.
472
00:23:34,604 --> 00:23:38,243
She's grieving the death of her dad.
473
00:23:38,736 --> 00:23:41,016
He died years ago, didn't he?
474
00:23:41,644 --> 00:23:45,440
You can't quantify grief like that,
can you?
475
00:23:45,441 --> 00:23:46,479
There's no...
476
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,643
Australian Oz Ripple...
477
00:23:47,644 --> 00:23:50,523
Oh, making yourselves at home there?
478
00:23:50,524 --> 00:23:51,524
Huh?
479
00:23:51,525 --> 00:23:53,043
Green and gold of my childhood.
480
00:23:53,044 --> 00:23:54,483
And as a little girl...
481
00:23:54,484 --> 00:23:55,963
Yes?
482
00:23:55,964 --> 00:23:59,883
...my folks would give me 50 cents
if I had done all my chores,
483
00:23:59,884 --> 00:24:01,803
and my sister and I,
484
00:24:01,804 --> 00:24:06,403
we'd run on down to the local corner
shop and I'd look up and I'd say,
485
00:24:06,404 --> 00:24:09,563
"Hey, Mr O'Rourke,
two Oz Ripples please."
486
00:24:09,564 --> 00:24:11,203
OK. Fact check that.
487
00:24:11,204 --> 00:24:12,563
Alright? O'Rourke.
488
00:24:12,564 --> 00:24:15,243
See if there even was an O'Rourke
where she grew up.
489
00:24:15,244 --> 00:24:17,923
Because that's probably bullshit,
we can use it in court.
490
00:24:17,924 --> 00:24:19,323
Sorry.
491
00:24:19,324 --> 00:24:23,700
We make it a rule to never speak
while masticating our food.
492
00:24:26,084 --> 00:24:27,883
Haven't they got more important
things to worry about
493
00:24:27,884 --> 00:24:29,203
than an ice-cream?
494
00:24:29,204 --> 00:24:31,483
The heart of Australia will never be red.
495
00:24:31,484 --> 00:24:36,643
My parents and I would stand
together and watch the Anzac parade
496
00:24:36,644 --> 00:24:40,364
and all wave our Oz Ripples
as our heroes passed by.
497
00:24:41,884 --> 00:24:43,603
That ice-cream was our flag.
498
00:24:43,604 --> 00:24:45,963
Hear, hear.
499
00:24:45,964 --> 00:24:51,483
So Mr President, while Senator Evans
was busy waving from the sidelines,
500
00:24:51,484 --> 00:24:56,323
as what you would have to imagine, a
fairly irritating 7-year-old child,
501
00:24:56,324 --> 00:25:03,723
I was proudly marching in the parade
with my father and grandfather,
502
00:25:03,724 --> 00:25:04,764
Artie Green.
503
00:25:04,765 --> 00:25:06,563
And at march's end,
504
00:25:06,564 --> 00:25:10,244
we would sit quietly
and eat a Ripper Ripple...
505
00:25:11,284 --> 00:25:13,483
...in honour of their fallen comrades.
506
00:25:13,484 --> 00:25:14,884
Hear, hear.
507
00:25:16,204 --> 00:25:17,404
Senator Potter.
508
00:25:17,405 --> 00:25:20,004
Oh, bring me my pethidine.
509
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:26,603
I don't particularly care whether
the centre was red, green or brown.
510
00:25:26,604 --> 00:25:28,283
- Shame!
- SHAME!
511
00:25:28,284 --> 00:25:30,043
What I am concerned about
512
00:25:30,044 --> 00:25:32,163
is the manner in which Noyce Industries
513
00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:34,203
is going about selling their business.
514
00:25:34,204 --> 00:25:37,643
Now, I seek leave
to table several documents.
515
00:25:37,644 --> 00:25:39,483
These are expense statements
516
00:25:39,484 --> 00:25:42,963
that do not appear on the official
government register
517
00:25:42,964 --> 00:25:45,923
and have not been cited
by the auditor general.
518
00:25:45,924 --> 00:25:48,843
They belong to two government senators.
519
00:25:48,844 --> 00:25:53,163
Senators Selleck and Wells
and a member of the Lower House,
520
00:25:53,164 --> 00:25:55,123
the so-called Honourable Member Allkirk.
521
00:25:55,124 --> 00:25:57,043
(HUBBUB) Absolutely not.
522
00:25:57,044 --> 00:25:58,044
Order!
523
00:25:58,045 --> 00:26:01,283
Now, it would appear if these
documents are correct,
524
00:26:01,284 --> 00:26:04,403
that these three politicians
received substantial gifts
525
00:26:04,404 --> 00:26:07,523
to act as intermediaries
in the proposed Noyce sale.
526
00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:10,483
Slender! I defy you to repeat any
of this outside of this place!
527
00:26:10,484 --> 00:26:11,763
Happily.
528
00:26:11,764 --> 00:26:13,083
According to these,
529
00:26:13,084 --> 00:26:15,763
these three politicians
received business class seats,
530
00:26:15,764 --> 00:26:19,323
a week's all-expenses-paid holiday
at the Cowlin Resort
531
00:26:19,324 --> 00:26:21,643
and $2,000 in casino chips.
532
00:26:21,644 --> 00:26:24,883
There is a perfectly reasonable
explanation for all of this.
533
00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:26,523
Well, we would all like to hear it.
534
00:26:26,524 --> 00:26:29,923
These are baseless allegations
and although I am stepping down,
535
00:26:29,924 --> 00:26:32,283
let me be clear, I am not resigning.
536
00:26:32,284 --> 00:26:36,443
And I very much look forward to
clearing my name, looking forward.
537
00:26:36,444 --> 00:26:39,763
And I very much look forward,
very forward to clearing my name,
538
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:40,964
looking forward...
539
00:26:40,965 --> 00:26:42,723
...against the sale of the Ripple
540
00:26:42,724 --> 00:26:45,283
and clearly
my instincts have been confirmed.
541
00:26:45,284 --> 00:26:47,723
I said this was a dirty deal
from the start.
542
00:26:47,724 --> 00:26:51,603
Clearly it is. This is how
the Chinese play, people.
543
00:26:51,604 --> 00:26:54,323
How do we hose down this Harry shit?
544
00:26:54,324 --> 00:26:55,683
Well, he's done the work
545
00:26:55,684 --> 00:26:58,323
and due diligence expected of him
as a senator
546
00:26:58,324 --> 00:27:01,203
and he has wiped the floor
with you and Penny Evans.
547
00:27:01,204 --> 00:27:03,683
Three pollies down, maybe out.
Spotlight's on him.
548
00:27:03,684 --> 00:27:05,763
I've got to reclaim
the moral high ground.
549
00:27:05,764 --> 00:27:08,523
It's an ice-cream, Cleaver,
there is no moral high ground.
550
00:27:08,524 --> 00:27:10,083
Fuckin' Harry sorry David!
551
00:27:10,084 --> 00:27:11,483
Can you believe it? I mean...
552
00:27:11,484 --> 00:27:14,643
I raised... This is my issue,
I raised this issue.
553
00:27:14,644 --> 00:27:18,643
You didn't raise any issue, Cleaver,
or do any actual research.
554
00:27:18,644 --> 00:27:20,803
You just gave the vague approximation
555
00:27:20,804 --> 00:27:21,884
of a name of an ice-cream
556
00:27:21,885 --> 00:27:25,123
and then you stole
a childhood memory from me.
557
00:27:25,124 --> 00:27:27,603
I threw a pebble in a pond.
558
00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:31,523
You know? I set the ripples in motion
and now look where we are.
559
00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:34,123
Two government ministers gone,
a backbencher gone.
560
00:27:34,124 --> 00:27:36,203
That's me. That's my...
561
00:27:36,204 --> 00:27:38,083
That's all down to me. That's me, me, me.
562
00:27:38,084 --> 00:27:39,603
I've said this before, Cleaver,
563
00:27:39,604 --> 00:27:41,163
but you might be getting
to that point again
564
00:27:41,164 --> 00:27:43,323
where you need a blanket and sedation.
565
00:27:43,324 --> 00:27:45,603
He's not going to get away
with this shit.
566
00:27:45,604 --> 00:27:47,523
Away with what shit, Cleaver?
567
00:27:47,524 --> 00:27:49,524
Doing his job?
568
00:27:53,964 --> 00:27:56,483
- Missy... what are you doing?
- Cleave.
569
00:27:56,484 --> 00:28:00,961
I need you to organise me a press
conference for 12 o'clock today.
570
00:28:00,962 --> 00:28:02,114
To say what?
571
00:28:02,115 --> 00:28:04,083
To say that this sale
is not going to go ahead
572
00:28:04,084 --> 00:28:07,483
because I have single-handedly saved
the Oz Ripper.
573
00:28:07,484 --> 00:28:08,727
- Ripple.
- Ripple.
574
00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,083
I know. Don't...
575
00:28:10,084 --> 00:28:11,283
Don't follow me.
576
00:28:11,284 --> 00:28:12,284
What?
577
00:28:13,484 --> 00:28:16,843
Right. Organised a press conference
for 12 o'clock.
578
00:28:16,844 --> 00:28:18,883
- You did? By yourself?
- Tick.
579
00:28:18,884 --> 00:28:19,924
Well, you can't,
580
00:28:19,925 --> 00:28:21,843
you've got a kids' science award
presentation at 12.
581
00:28:21,844 --> 00:28:22,964
Well, cancel it.
582
00:28:22,965 --> 00:28:24,363
No. You're presenting an award
583
00:28:24,364 --> 00:28:26,508
to a top primary school student
at Henley Hall.
584
00:28:26,509 --> 00:28:28,803
Well, that sounds shithouse. Somebody
from the Government should do that.
585
00:28:28,804 --> 00:28:30,723
No, it's science,
Government won't go near it.
586
00:28:30,724 --> 00:28:32,683
Anyway, Potter's got one at 12.
587
00:28:32,684 --> 00:28:34,643
Oh, fucking Potter.
588
00:28:34,644 --> 00:28:36,462
Oh... OK, I'll have to make mine 12:30.
589
00:28:36,463 --> 00:28:38,123
No, Penny Evans has got one at 12:30.
590
00:28:38,124 --> 00:28:40,723
Oh, God. OK, I'll have to make mine
one o'clock!
591
00:28:40,724 --> 00:28:43,603
Fuck! I'm losing precious time here.
592
00:28:43,604 --> 00:28:45,644
I'll just let you organise
that yourself, shall I?
593
00:28:48,484 --> 00:28:52,123
Miss, I need you to move my press
conference to 1pm, OK?
594
00:28:52,124 --> 00:28:53,660
And knock us up a speech.
595
00:28:54,484 --> 00:28:56,283
A speech, just a...
596
00:28:56,284 --> 00:28:57,684
Yeah, the issues. OK.
597
00:28:58,924 --> 00:29:00,683
Yaakov, we have got to go, mate.
598
00:29:00,684 --> 00:29:01,764
Henley Hall, please.
599
00:29:03,084 --> 00:29:06,123
Very soon a time will come
when you need to make a decision.
600
00:29:06,124 --> 00:29:08,723
There is about to be a coup.
601
00:29:08,724 --> 00:29:11,523
What? Another... A coup in Parliament?
602
00:29:11,524 --> 00:29:12,563
Amongst the drivers.
603
00:29:12,564 --> 00:29:14,130
A quantum power shift
604
00:29:14,131 --> 00:29:16,643
with massive implications
for this country at large.
605
00:29:16,644 --> 00:29:18,243
Implications for the country at large.
606
00:29:18,244 --> 00:29:20,963
OK, great, I got it. Now can we go
to Henley Hall please, buddy?
607
00:29:20,964 --> 00:29:24,364
Place your faith in Yaakov Novak
at your own peril.
608
00:29:25,884 --> 00:29:27,563
I trust I make myself clear?
609
00:29:27,564 --> 00:29:29,524
Yeah, not particularly, mate.
610
00:29:40,684 --> 00:29:43,323
I trust you want me
to take you to Henley Hall?
611
00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:45,323
Yeah, yeah.
612
00:29:45,324 --> 00:29:49,124
So there was another driver here.
613
00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:51,404
I know.
614
00:29:55,684 --> 00:29:59,044
These are complicated political times.
615
00:30:07,764 --> 00:30:11,322
Senator Penny Evans claimed
that the bribes were the result
616
00:30:11,323 --> 00:30:13,643
of Chinese corruption.
617
00:30:13,644 --> 00:30:15,003
The opposite is true.
618
00:30:15,458 --> 00:30:18,443
It appears that the bribes
have come from Australia.
619
00:30:18,444 --> 00:30:22,683
Earlier today, I was informed by the
Federal Police that Desmond Noyce,
620
00:30:22,684 --> 00:30:24,123
the CEO of Noyce Industries,
621
00:30:24,124 --> 00:30:29,123
has been charged with bribing
senior government members.
622
00:30:29,124 --> 00:30:31,723
(APPLAUSE)
623
00:30:31,724 --> 00:30:35,763
And now for our next guest presenter,
624
00:30:35,764 --> 00:30:38,003
we have Senator Cleaver Greene,
625
00:30:38,004 --> 00:30:40,403
who has come all the way
from Parliament House
626
00:30:40,404 --> 00:30:42,163
to present our science prize
627
00:30:42,164 --> 00:30:47,203
to the most outstanding science
student in our under-12 age group.
628
00:30:47,204 --> 00:30:49,923
So please welcome Senator Greene.
629
00:30:49,924 --> 00:30:53,123
(APPLAUSE)
630
00:30:53,124 --> 00:30:55,563
Thank you very much.
631
00:30:55,564 --> 00:31:00,083
And congratulations
to Sherry MacGyver, you won.
632
00:31:00,084 --> 00:31:01,843
(APPLAUSE)
633
00:31:01,844 --> 00:31:03,803
Quick, quick. Good.
634
00:31:03,804 --> 00:31:08,843
Well done, Sherry. Congratulations
on your science project,
635
00:31:08,844 --> 00:31:13,723
comparing the output of lithium
batteries to ones powered by van...
636
00:31:13,724 --> 00:31:14,804
- ...Van Damme...
- Vanadium.
637
00:31:14,805 --> 00:31:17,643
Vanadium is a mineral
used in steel production and
638
00:31:17,644 --> 00:31:21,363
my research was looking at different
ways of prolonging battery life,
639
00:31:21,364 --> 00:31:23,283
even though lithium
has a better storage capacity.
640
00:31:23,284 --> 00:31:24,843
Incredible, thank you, Sherry!
641
00:31:24,844 --> 00:31:26,403
She's only 12 years old
642
00:31:26,404 --> 00:31:31,323
and what a great and wonderful future
we have with kids like her. Huh?
643
00:31:31,324 --> 00:31:33,003
You better run back your seat, darling.
644
00:31:33,004 --> 00:31:34,649
Show Mum and Dad that award.
645
00:31:34,650 --> 00:31:36,483
So thank you very much, Henley Hall,
646
00:31:36,484 --> 00:31:38,163
you have been incredible,
647
00:31:38,164 --> 00:31:41,060
and now I'll throw back to someone else.
648
00:31:43,084 --> 00:31:44,603
Done and dusted. I'm outta here.
649
00:31:44,604 --> 00:31:48,363
OK, can you push my press conference
by 15 minutes?
650
00:31:48,364 --> 00:31:49,643
And is my car waiting?
651
00:31:49,644 --> 00:31:54,963
She as an adviser to the UN on
climate science and she is also an
652
00:31:54,964 --> 00:31:58,523
international spokesperson
for the Refugee Action Alliance.
653
00:31:58,524 --> 00:31:59,860
Well, round numbers.
654
00:32:00,884 --> 00:32:03,020
No, that's just a round number.
655
00:32:04,164 --> 00:32:05,620
Sorry, who resigned?
656
00:32:07,284 --> 00:32:09,203
OK, well, tell them
I've got new information.
657
00:32:09,204 --> 00:32:11,123
(APPLAUSE)
658
00:32:11,124 --> 00:32:13,643
No, of course I don't,
but they don't know that.
659
00:32:13,644 --> 00:32:20,043
I am heartened to see so many
clever young faces here today.
660
00:32:20,044 --> 00:32:25,123
I heard a senator in your parliament
ask if this country
661
00:32:25,124 --> 00:32:29,323
has the right policies in place
for the next 10 years.
662
00:32:29,324 --> 00:32:32,043
The answer is yes, you do.
663
00:32:32,044 --> 00:32:38,083
But if you want to live
beyond those 10 years, then no.
664
00:32:38,084 --> 00:32:40,443
You have almost no single...
665
00:32:40,444 --> 00:32:43,180
Can you push it to 1:30, please?
666
00:32:48,684 --> 00:32:51,563
I am sorry, I'm not sure
what's happened to him.
667
00:32:51,564 --> 00:32:53,043
That's OK, I'm not a journo.
668
00:32:53,044 --> 00:32:55,724
I'm a sparky on my break.
I just needed a chair.
669
00:32:58,724 --> 00:33:02,563
When he does arrive, I wonder if you
wouldn't mind not telling him that.
670
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:04,043
It's kind of my first day.
671
00:33:04,044 --> 00:33:05,124
OK.
672
00:33:06,804 --> 00:33:10,963
Conservative voices
keep representing science
673
00:33:10,964 --> 00:33:13,323
as somehow left wing,
674
00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:17,683
as having a radical agenda
that will destroy the economy.
675
00:33:17,684 --> 00:33:21,683
But science is neither
left or right wing.
676
00:33:21,684 --> 00:33:24,203
It is science.
677
00:33:24,204 --> 00:33:27,723
When we fly, when we get chest X-rays,
678
00:33:27,724 --> 00:33:29,963
when we take treatments for cancer,
679
00:33:29,964 --> 00:33:33,923
we do so because of science.
680
00:33:33,924 --> 00:33:38,683
Do we ask if the science that made
these is left or right wing?
681
00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:41,963
As scientists, we assemble data,
682
00:33:41,964 --> 00:33:46,083
analyse it and try and predict a future.
683
00:33:46,084 --> 00:33:52,203
And science tells us that nothing
will destabilise an economy more
684
00:33:52,204 --> 00:33:54,723
than global warming.
685
00:33:54,724 --> 00:33:59,563
Our obsession with economic growth
is killing the world...
686
00:33:59,564 --> 00:34:02,043
Can't talk, move it to 2:30.
687
00:34:02,044 --> 00:34:03,523
It's like telling a morbidly obese person
688
00:34:03,524 --> 00:34:06,643
they must eat more chocolate cake.
689
00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:10,683
At some point, they will explode.
690
00:34:10,684 --> 00:34:14,723
(LAUGHTER)
691
00:34:14,724 --> 00:34:16,243
Well, thank you so much.
692
00:34:16,244 --> 00:34:18,964
It was so lovely, lovely to meet you.
693
00:34:21,004 --> 00:34:24,883
Senator Cleaver Greene.
I was your fellow speaker here today.
694
00:34:24,884 --> 00:34:26,483
Li Ming Wu. Hi.
695
00:34:26,484 --> 00:34:30,683
I am so sorry I missed your talk. My
flight from the States was delayed.
696
00:34:30,684 --> 00:34:33,203
I hope I didn't repeat anything
you said already.
697
00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:34,244
There was a bit of an overlap,
698
00:34:34,245 --> 00:34:37,403
but look I don't think you can get
that message about the environment
699
00:34:37,404 --> 00:34:38,643
through to kids enough.
700
00:34:38,644 --> 00:34:41,363
So, you are part of the government.
701
00:34:41,364 --> 00:34:43,803
Well, I am, you know,
I am a senator, as I said.
702
00:34:43,804 --> 00:34:46,163
But no, very much an independent.
703
00:34:46,164 --> 00:34:50,883
I often feel like the lone voice
in a sea of deniers.
704
00:34:50,884 --> 00:34:54,220
I hear very good things about...
is it David Potter?
705
00:34:55,324 --> 00:34:56,763
Oh, God, no.
706
00:34:56,764 --> 00:34:59,843
- No, no, no. Lot of hot air there.
- Oh.
707
00:34:59,844 --> 00:35:02,763
He is not committed in the same way
you or I are.
708
00:35:02,764 --> 00:35:03,964
Yeah, it is interesting.
709
00:35:03,965 --> 00:35:06,523
I got him off murder charges
in a previous life.
710
00:35:06,524 --> 00:35:07,883
- Oh!
- Yeah.
711
00:35:07,884 --> 00:35:09,203
(BOTH LAUGH)
712
00:35:09,204 --> 00:35:13,043
Oh, dear. You were a lawyer?
713
00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:15,883
Mainly human rights stuff, yeah.
714
00:35:15,884 --> 00:35:17,483
Yes. How long are you in Canberra for?
715
00:35:17,484 --> 00:35:18,923
I leave tomorrow night.
716
00:35:18,924 --> 00:35:20,683
What about
717
00:35:20,684 --> 00:35:21,844
dinner tonight?
718
00:35:21,845 --> 00:35:24,203
I'm afraid not.
719
00:35:24,204 --> 00:35:25,843
Lunch tomorrow?
720
00:35:25,844 --> 00:35:27,403
Uh...
721
00:35:27,404 --> 00:35:29,523
Well, OK, Senator.
722
00:35:29,524 --> 00:35:31,723
If you can make it a late one.
723
00:35:31,724 --> 00:35:36,403
Oh, I can make it an anyone,
I'll push my schedule.
724
00:35:36,404 --> 00:35:38,763
Can we make it at Wang's?
725
00:35:38,764 --> 00:35:40,763
Wang's, why?
726
00:35:40,764 --> 00:35:43,523
Do you not like it?
It's my favourite place in Canberra.
727
00:35:43,524 --> 00:35:46,163
Oh, yes. It's mine too.
728
00:35:46,164 --> 00:35:47,643
- I can't get enough.
- Fantastic.
729
00:35:47,644 --> 00:35:50,203
- Can we say two?
- Yes.
730
00:35:50,204 --> 00:35:52,724
Yeah. Just you and me.
731
00:35:54,164 --> 00:35:55,483
I meant the time.
732
00:35:55,484 --> 00:35:57,203
- That was funny.
- Yeah, I know.
733
00:35:57,204 --> 00:35:58,484
I knew. I knew that.
734
00:36:00,350 --> 00:36:02,380
Darling, I'm home.
735
00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:04,420
Sweetheart?
736
00:36:05,870 --> 00:36:07,550
It's just me, pet.
737
00:36:23,964 --> 00:36:25,444
(SIGHS)
738
00:36:26,444 --> 00:36:29,683
- Allkirk's resigned.
- Yes, yes, I heard.
739
00:36:29,684 --> 00:36:31,283
Weak little bastard.
740
00:36:31,284 --> 00:36:32,804
There's a vacancy in the house, then.
741
00:36:34,124 --> 00:36:35,523
I want it.
742
00:36:35,524 --> 00:36:38,643
We live just across the road
from that seat.
743
00:36:38,644 --> 00:36:41,980
Well, I can certainly put in
a good word for you, my love.
744
00:36:44,804 --> 00:36:46,020
Get it for me?
745
00:36:46,964 --> 00:36:50,283
Well, I don't think I have that kind
of power anymore, sweetness.
746
00:36:50,860 --> 00:36:52,420
Then find it.
747
00:36:55,484 --> 00:36:56,564
Yes, my love.
748
00:36:57,844 --> 00:36:58,844
Yes.
749
00:37:00,244 --> 00:37:02,923
It's really tricky setting up
a press conference.
750
00:37:02,924 --> 00:37:05,763
Let's just learn from this
and move on, OK?
751
00:37:05,764 --> 00:37:09,643
Do you realise that there are
18 million acres of forest
752
00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:11,603
- destroyed every year?
- What?
753
00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:14,723
That is how much forest
is destroyed every year.
754
00:37:14,724 --> 00:37:19,363
The Gossnard net-winged beetle
is on the endangered list now.
755
00:37:19,364 --> 00:37:20,524
Right.
756
00:37:20,525 --> 00:37:23,163
Not to forget the wartbiter cricket.
Almost extinct.
757
00:37:23,164 --> 00:37:24,884
(BABY CRIES)
758
00:37:29,204 --> 00:37:31,203
I need every paper, bill,
759
00:37:31,204 --> 00:37:34,923
amendment and thought bubble we have
on the government's environment
760
00:37:34,924 --> 00:37:36,923
policies and our take on them.
761
00:37:36,924 --> 00:37:39,123
You have none.
You haven't read them and...
762
00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:40,763
I will, I will, I will.
763
00:37:40,764 --> 00:37:42,283
OK. OK.
764
00:37:42,284 --> 00:37:43,603
Here you go.
765
00:37:43,604 --> 00:37:45,140
Oh, fuck, this is all...
766
00:37:45,884 --> 00:37:47,084
Here we go.
767
00:37:49,124 --> 00:37:51,083
Oh, fuck. OK, alright.
768
00:37:51,084 --> 00:37:52,363
Here's... Here's a better idea.
769
00:37:52,364 --> 00:37:56,083
You read those and summarise them
and get back to me please, quickly.
770
00:37:56,084 --> 00:37:57,084
How is that better?
771
00:37:57,085 --> 00:38:01,283
And everything we can find out
about a Li Ming Wu,
772
00:38:01,284 --> 00:38:02,764
please, by lunchtime.
773
00:38:03,844 --> 00:38:08,163
If she is your lunch date, Cleaver,
you are wasting your time.
774
00:38:08,164 --> 00:38:09,883
I mean, she's...
775
00:38:09,884 --> 00:38:12,883
She is so far out of your orbit
you could not locate her
776
00:38:12,884 --> 00:38:14,004
with the Hubble telescope.
777
00:38:14,005 --> 00:38:15,844
I mean, does she know who you are?
778
00:38:19,620 --> 00:38:23,083
And if you wouldn't mind having a
look at my Wikipedia entry, please,
779
00:38:23,084 --> 00:38:26,163
and changing the bit about my jail term.
780
00:38:26,164 --> 00:38:27,164
Thank you.
781
00:38:34,884 --> 00:38:38,203
Overlooking the fact that I detest
every facet of you,
782
00:38:38,204 --> 00:38:40,883
we need to form an alliance
and bring down Potter.
783
00:38:40,884 --> 00:38:45,963
Humans release 37 billion tonnes
of carbon dioxide every year.
784
00:38:45,964 --> 00:38:48,523
You'd have to think a lot of that
is coming from you, isn't it?
785
00:38:48,524 --> 00:38:49,803
Are you hearing me?
786
00:38:49,804 --> 00:38:53,563
It's the highest level
for over 650,000 years and now
787
00:38:53,564 --> 00:38:55,923
there is over a million species
facing extinction.
788
00:38:55,924 --> 00:38:57,124
I knew it was bad...
789
00:38:57,125 --> 00:39:00,163
If we form an alliance
we can own this story,
790
00:39:00,164 --> 00:39:03,043
which right now is the biggest story
in town.
791
00:39:03,044 --> 00:39:06,843
Or I can pursue my defamation case
against you with vigour
792
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,140
and you'll be destroyed.
793
00:39:09,524 --> 00:39:14,324
You know, Penny,
I do so miss the old courtroom.
794
00:39:24,644 --> 00:39:28,163
- So what are we going to do?
- That Greene, Potter was right.
795
00:39:28,164 --> 00:39:30,243
Noyce is trying to offload
his company ASAP
796
00:39:30,244 --> 00:39:32,363
and he papered a few palms
to ease the passage.
797
00:39:32,364 --> 00:39:34,940
He will never stand between
Sellick and a $5 note.
798
00:39:35,924 --> 00:39:37,883
So why is old man Noyce
trying to ditch his company?
799
00:39:37,884 --> 00:39:40,123
I have got no idea.
We're still looking into it.
800
00:39:40,124 --> 00:39:42,083
Peking duck with chestnuts and chilli.
801
00:39:42,084 --> 00:39:43,483
What about that fucking munchkin?
802
00:39:43,484 --> 00:39:45,003
I mean...
803
00:39:45,004 --> 00:39:46,643
- Crab, Szechuan style.
- He's resigned.
804
00:39:46,644 --> 00:39:49,163
- What's that about?
- Yeah, well,
805
00:39:49,164 --> 00:39:52,283
stuck at the intelligence than
the moral integrity not to resign.
806
00:39:52,284 --> 00:39:54,123
- Until they convict him.
- Yeah.
807
00:39:54,124 --> 00:39:55,603
Wagyu steak in oyster sauce.
808
00:39:55,604 --> 00:39:56,604
Just dump it, pal.
809
00:39:59,044 --> 00:40:02,523
Look, on the upside,
810
00:40:02,524 --> 00:40:04,323
we now have the chance to Trojan Horse
811
00:40:04,324 --> 00:40:06,523
our own person
in that snivelling arsehole seat.
812
00:40:06,524 --> 00:40:07,963
Oh, that's good.
813
00:40:07,964 --> 00:40:09,483
(LAUGHS) That's good.
814
00:40:09,484 --> 00:40:11,523
OK. Names.
815
00:40:11,524 --> 00:40:13,163
Names. Come on.
816
00:40:13,164 --> 00:40:15,803
CAL: What the hell is this?
817
00:40:15,804 --> 00:40:17,047
It's alphabetical.
818
00:40:18,004 --> 00:40:19,723
Well, I'm going to change my name
to Aardvark
819
00:40:19,724 --> 00:40:21,683
before I let her come before me.
820
00:40:21,684 --> 00:40:24,283
Oh. It seems
more balanced, don't you think?
821
00:40:24,284 --> 00:40:26,243
Balanced is not what this show's about.
822
00:40:26,244 --> 00:40:29,403
Balanced is the very issue
that we fight against.
823
00:40:29,404 --> 00:40:33,763
Tough, unrelenting, hard hitting,
honest and completely biased.
824
00:40:33,764 --> 00:40:35,283
That's what this show stands for.
825
00:40:35,284 --> 00:40:38,323
I'm not so sure the public sees you
that way anymore, Cal.
826
00:40:38,324 --> 00:40:39,723
What?
827
00:40:39,724 --> 00:40:41,004
You seem weaker.
828
00:40:42,164 --> 00:40:44,163
Soft. You're softer.
829
00:40:44,164 --> 00:40:49,803
But as always, if you're not 100%
happy, I'm very happy to change it.
830
00:40:49,804 --> 00:40:52,283
I'm not even 2% happy.
831
00:40:52,284 --> 00:40:53,523
Change it.
832
00:40:53,524 --> 00:40:54,763
- On to it.
- Hmm.
833
00:40:54,764 --> 00:40:55,804
(PHONE CHIMES)
834
00:40:59,724 --> 00:41:01,084
- Carry on.
- Who is this?
835
00:41:04,884 --> 00:41:06,443
Right. Sure.
836
00:41:06,444 --> 00:41:07,660
Where?
837
00:41:36,204 --> 00:41:37,204
Hi.
838
00:41:37,205 --> 00:41:39,083
I need you to get on
one of your magical apps
839
00:41:39,084 --> 00:41:41,404
and tell me what this piece of music
is called.
840
00:41:48,084 --> 00:41:49,883
- Do you have a reservation?
- Get out!
841
00:41:49,884 --> 00:41:52,403
You're not welcome.
You exposed yourself to my boys.
842
00:41:52,404 --> 00:41:54,003
Look, I explained about that.
843
00:41:54,004 --> 00:41:57,003
That was just talking to them
about their basketball habits.
844
00:41:57,004 --> 00:42:00,243
With no trousers and your penis
for all the world to see?
845
00:42:00,244 --> 00:42:02,323
- Penis! You're...
- Shame!
846
00:42:02,324 --> 00:42:03,923
I am so sorry.
847
00:42:03,924 --> 00:42:05,084
I didn't see you come in.
848
00:42:05,085 --> 00:42:07,923
I am a tragic failed musician.
849
00:42:07,924 --> 00:42:09,283
This man is with you?
850
00:42:09,284 --> 00:42:11,443
- Yes. He is.
- Seriously?
851
00:42:11,444 --> 00:42:13,483
- Yes.
- This man?
852
00:42:13,484 --> 00:42:14,843
- Yes.
- Oh, yes.
853
00:42:14,844 --> 00:42:15,844
Oh, yeah.
854
00:42:21,284 --> 00:42:23,523
Who let that pretzel in?
855
00:42:23,524 --> 00:42:26,244
- Jesus! And with her?
- Thank you.
856
00:42:27,684 --> 00:42:30,923
I can't walk past a piano
without wanting to play something.
857
00:42:30,924 --> 00:42:32,363
- Me too.
- Oh.
858
00:42:32,364 --> 00:42:33,844
(BOTH LAUGH)
859
00:42:34,924 --> 00:42:40,803
And that was the Schubert Impromptu
no less.
860
00:42:40,804 --> 00:42:42,803
Number 3G flat major...
861
00:42:42,804 --> 00:42:44,083
- Major.
- Am I right?
862
00:42:44,084 --> 00:42:46,563
- You play?
- I tinkle. I tinkle.
863
00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:48,923
We must play together after our meal.
864
00:42:48,924 --> 00:42:54,363
I broke this, um, in a tennis incident.
865
00:42:54,364 --> 00:42:55,883
- Oh, dear.
- Yeah.
866
00:42:55,884 --> 00:42:57,084
Oh, tennis.
867
00:42:57,085 --> 00:43:00,883
I dreamed of being a professional,
but science got hold of me.
868
00:43:00,884 --> 00:43:03,124
Tell me, what other instruments
do you play?
869
00:43:04,404 --> 00:43:07,243
Mainly the flugelhorn.
870
00:43:07,244 --> 00:43:08,563
Oh.
871
00:43:08,564 --> 00:43:11,243
I know only strings and keyboards
872
00:43:11,244 --> 00:43:14,443
and I am trying to so hard to learn
the saxophone but, oh.
873
00:43:14,444 --> 00:43:16,004
Yeah. It's...
874
00:43:17,604 --> 00:43:19,243
So many instruments.
875
00:43:19,244 --> 00:43:21,923
Well, there are only so many hours
in a day.
876
00:43:21,924 --> 00:43:24,483
I never understand how people
are so happy to waste them.
877
00:43:24,484 --> 00:43:25,564
Mmm.
878
00:43:25,565 --> 00:43:28,203
You know, music makes me believe
879
00:43:28,204 --> 00:43:30,283
that the world can still be
a beautiful place.
880
00:43:30,284 --> 00:43:32,723
We are capable of such exquisite beauty,
881
00:43:32,724 --> 00:43:36,444
but everywhere we are reduced
to the petty and venal.
882
00:43:37,644 --> 00:43:39,363
The lot of man.
883
00:43:39,364 --> 00:43:42,243
I was in Burkina Faso two weeks ago.
884
00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:44,883
What man has done to man.
885
00:43:44,884 --> 00:43:50,963
Burkina Faso has a green and gold
flag with some red on it?
886
00:43:50,964 --> 00:43:52,923
So, have you been there?
887
00:43:52,924 --> 00:43:54,124
- Burkina Faso?
- Mmm.
888
00:43:54,125 --> 00:43:57,804
It's... Oh, landlocked.
889
00:44:00,004 --> 00:44:01,164
- Gold.
- Mmm.
890
00:44:02,764 --> 00:44:04,323
The French influence, of course.
891
00:44:04,324 --> 00:44:09,003
Yes. And poverty that drives people
into dust.
892
00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:11,123
Should we order something to eat?
893
00:44:11,124 --> 00:44:12,684
Absolutely.
894
00:44:30,244 --> 00:44:32,043
Well!
895
00:44:32,044 --> 00:44:34,403
Our new Prime Minister.
896
00:44:34,404 --> 00:44:38,283
- Should I curtsy?
- No formalities here, Cal.
897
00:44:38,284 --> 00:44:39,963
- No time.
- Ah.
898
00:44:39,964 --> 00:44:42,923
- Been a few years.
- It has, Roy.
899
00:44:42,924 --> 00:44:45,844
Last time was when you voted me off
the state executive.
900
00:44:46,884 --> 00:44:48,603
Well, some blood's passed
under that bridge
901
00:44:48,604 --> 00:44:50,564
and lots of regrets have flown with it.
902
00:44:52,444 --> 00:44:54,203
I suppose you know what this is about?
903
00:44:54,204 --> 00:44:56,003
Oh, what? Your shipwreck?
904
00:44:56,004 --> 00:44:59,203
Two days in office. Noyce Industries.
905
00:44:59,204 --> 00:45:01,123
Two senators clinging to the wreckage.
906
00:45:01,124 --> 00:45:02,763
At least one rep's vacancy to fill.
907
00:45:02,764 --> 00:45:04,403
I mean, I'm just guessing,
of course, mate.
908
00:45:04,404 --> 00:45:06,323
If it hadn't have been
for Evans and Greene and Potter,
909
00:45:06,324 --> 00:45:07,860
this thing would have sailed through.
910
00:45:08,924 --> 00:45:11,444
I hope you didn't have any shares
in the company?
911
00:45:14,244 --> 00:45:16,603
I need to fill Allkirk's rep seat,
912
00:45:16,604 --> 00:45:19,123
tout suite, before this thing
haemorrhages any further.
913
00:45:19,124 --> 00:45:21,083
Well, could I suggest my wife?
914
00:45:21,084 --> 00:45:22,563
Jane? Jane Green?
915
00:45:22,564 --> 00:45:24,243
(LAUGHS) God, no. Sorry.
916
00:45:24,244 --> 00:45:26,003
Right.
917
00:45:26,004 --> 00:45:27,683
- Well, who then?
- Well, you.
918
00:45:27,684 --> 00:45:28,804
I want you!
919
00:45:28,805 --> 00:45:30,843
I know we have history.
920
00:45:30,844 --> 00:45:32,803
Two years ago I would have had
nothing to do with you,
921
00:45:32,804 --> 00:45:36,963
but this new gentler, user-friendly
Cal we're seeing on our screens,
922
00:45:36,964 --> 00:45:40,444
it's exactly what this party's
crying out for.
923
00:45:41,404 --> 00:45:43,203
Right. Well...
924
00:45:43,204 --> 00:45:44,923
Married life has softened me, mate.
925
00:45:44,924 --> 00:45:47,483
I know you'll take a drop,
a major drop financially.
926
00:45:47,484 --> 00:45:49,523
But if you agree to this position,
927
00:45:49,524 --> 00:45:51,364
I'll make you a minister straight off.
928
00:45:52,404 --> 00:45:53,404
A minister?
929
00:45:54,524 --> 00:45:55,924
- Doing what?
- I don't know.
930
00:45:57,044 --> 00:45:58,323
I'll do a reshuffle.
931
00:45:58,324 --> 00:46:02,140
It will guarantee me
two full terms as leader.
932
00:46:02,724 --> 00:46:06,043
After that,
how does Cal McGregor PM sound?
933
00:46:06,044 --> 00:46:09,843
Because I have to say,
it plays out OK in the party room.
934
00:46:09,844 --> 00:46:12,043
Oh.
935
00:46:12,044 --> 00:46:14,723
Have you talked to my half-brother
about this?
936
00:46:14,724 --> 00:46:17,883
No. The Coalition's full of
head kickers and flat earthers.
937
00:46:17,884 --> 00:46:21,923
I want to demonstrate a warmer,
vulnerable side to the public.
938
00:46:21,924 --> 00:46:25,604
You are that man to help me.
939
00:46:28,084 --> 00:46:32,723
I need to know the total CO2 output
of coal fire reactors in the 1960s.
940
00:46:32,724 --> 00:46:34,243
Actually, do you know what? Forget it.
941
00:46:34,244 --> 00:46:35,924
I'm going to wing it. Bye.
942
00:46:38,204 --> 00:46:43,723
Sorry. Some stupid standing
committee on clean coal generators.
943
00:46:43,724 --> 00:46:45,780
(LAUGHS) No such thing.
944
00:46:46,444 --> 00:46:49,683
Which is why I keep saying wind and sun.
945
00:46:49,684 --> 00:46:51,923
- Wind and sun.
- Wind?
946
00:46:51,924 --> 00:46:55,403
Really? Isn't that
far too unreliable for baseload?
947
00:46:55,404 --> 00:46:56,723
Yes. Ah...
948
00:46:56,724 --> 00:46:58,643
Yeah. But the sun's great.
949
00:46:58,644 --> 00:47:01,363
Well, the production of batteries
and solar cells is proving a massive
950
00:47:01,364 --> 00:47:03,323
environmental challenge.
951
00:47:03,324 --> 00:47:06,843
Yeah. I mean, anything's better
than nuclear, though.
952
00:47:06,844 --> 00:47:07,924
I don't know.
953
00:47:07,925 --> 00:47:10,763
The two major explosions
at nuclear reactors caused
954
00:47:10,764 --> 00:47:14,483
infinitely less death and health
damage than coal does every day.
955
00:47:14,484 --> 00:47:16,563
How many times have I made that point?
956
00:47:16,564 --> 00:47:18,563
The problem is waste.
957
00:47:18,564 --> 00:47:20,763
As I keep stressing.
958
00:47:20,764 --> 00:47:25,083
If they can get its half-life down
to 250 years, not 250,000,
959
00:47:25,084 --> 00:47:27,243
one might think about it differently.
960
00:47:27,244 --> 00:47:33,083
Weirdly, I have just delivered
a paper on precisely that point.
961
00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:34,204
What I don't understand
962
00:47:34,205 --> 00:47:38,043
is why does this government refuse
to engage with these problems?
963
00:47:38,044 --> 00:47:39,244
Why?
964
00:47:39,245 --> 00:47:44,244
Your concerns here seem so trivial
when the problems are so great.
965
00:47:46,004 --> 00:47:47,004
Mmm.
966
00:47:49,524 --> 00:47:52,563
Are you sure
you can't find another hour or so?
967
00:47:52,564 --> 00:47:56,003
It is not often I spend time with
someone who shares my passions.
968
00:47:56,004 --> 00:47:58,003
- I'm afraid not.
- Oh.
969
00:47:58,004 --> 00:48:00,643
My assistant was right.
970
00:48:01,220 --> 00:48:03,483
Not even with the Hubble telescope.
971
00:48:03,484 --> 00:48:04,684
Sorry?
972
00:48:06,420 --> 00:48:08,043
Do you want to know
973
00:48:08,044 --> 00:48:10,523
what I have been campaigning for
in the Senate?
974
00:48:10,524 --> 00:48:14,523
Do you want to know
what's been occupying my days?
975
00:48:14,524 --> 00:48:15,524
Tell me.
976
00:48:18,324 --> 00:48:19,324
Never mind.
977
00:48:19,324 --> 00:48:20,324
(LAUGHS)
978
00:48:27,964 --> 00:48:30,923
I learnt the flugelhorn for three weeks
979
00:48:30,924 --> 00:48:34,284
and then I stomped on the bloody thing.
980
00:48:40,204 --> 00:48:42,004
You can go.
981
00:48:49,124 --> 00:48:50,260
To the house?
982
00:48:51,444 --> 00:48:52,923
Oh, yeah.
983
00:48:52,924 --> 00:48:57,843
Later tonight you might receive
a call from someone called Mohamed.
984
00:48:57,844 --> 00:49:01,820
He's with a breakaway faction
of the drivers.
985
00:49:04,844 --> 00:49:06,923
Don't listen to him.
986
00:49:07,420 --> 00:49:09,323
Actually, do you know what?
987
00:49:09,324 --> 00:49:11,923
Change of plans.
I don't want to go to the house.
988
00:49:11,924 --> 00:49:14,484
And I don't want to go home.
989
00:49:39,684 --> 00:49:41,564
Can I give you a hand there?
990
00:49:42,684 --> 00:49:44,283
Oh. Thank you.
991
00:49:44,284 --> 00:49:46,123
- What...
- Thompson.
992
00:49:46,124 --> 00:49:47,683
- Thompson?
- Up the top, there.
993
00:49:47,684 --> 00:49:48,844
Oh, yep.
994
00:49:52,964 --> 00:49:55,963
- They don't make it easy, do they?
- No.
995
00:49:55,964 --> 00:49:58,924
- There we go.
- Thank you.
996
00:50:02,164 --> 00:50:04,683
Maybe we should just go around
the block one more time.
997
00:50:04,684 --> 00:50:05,884
It won't help, Cal.
998
00:50:05,885 --> 00:50:07,643
We have driven around 12 times already.
999
00:50:07,644 --> 00:50:08,684
Yes.
1000
00:50:08,685 --> 00:50:10,283
Just go in there and tell her the truth.
1001
00:50:10,284 --> 00:50:12,698
Yes. Yes. Just... Straight up.
1002
00:50:12,699 --> 00:50:13,963
- Straight up.
- Straight up.
1003
00:50:13,964 --> 00:50:15,563
Walk in there and tell her how it is.
1004
00:50:15,564 --> 00:50:17,723
Yes! Yes.
1005
00:50:17,724 --> 00:50:19,043
And how is it?
1006
00:50:19,044 --> 00:50:21,643
You fought for her
with everything you had
1007
00:50:21,644 --> 00:50:24,723
but they wanted you because
of your wider political experience.
1008
00:50:24,724 --> 00:50:27,244
Yes! My wide experience.
1009
00:50:28,404 --> 00:50:30,323
- And then what?
- Then you objected.
1010
00:50:30,324 --> 00:50:31,803
I objected. I objected!
1011
00:50:31,804 --> 00:50:34,603
And... And then I threatened them,
and then...
1012
00:50:34,604 --> 00:50:36,003
You tell her that...
1013
00:50:36,004 --> 00:50:40,843
I tell her that... once inside
Parliament I will work tirelessly...
1014
00:50:40,844 --> 00:50:42,363
- Around the clock.
- Bugger!
1015
00:50:42,364 --> 00:50:45,420
Around the clock
to make sure that she is elected.
1016
00:50:46,204 --> 00:50:47,963
- You can do it.
- I can do it, mate.
1017
00:50:47,964 --> 00:50:49,284
I'm Cal McGregor!
1018
00:50:56,644 --> 00:50:59,004
Darling? I'm home, pet.
1019
00:51:00,164 --> 00:51:02,284
(CHEWS)
1020
00:51:08,164 --> 00:51:09,563
Drive!
1021
00:51:09,564 --> 00:51:11,763
Drive very quickly away.
1022
00:51:11,764 --> 00:51:12,964
Drive!
1023
00:51:15,844 --> 00:51:18,363
So, Andy did some digging
and he found out
1024
00:51:18,364 --> 00:51:19,843
that the Noyces had to sell in a hurry
1025
00:51:19,844 --> 00:51:22,803
because sadly old man Noyce
had a brain tumour.
1026
00:51:22,804 --> 00:51:24,683
I really don't give a shit.
1027
00:51:24,684 --> 00:51:26,363
That idiot almost cost us the Government.
1028
00:51:26,364 --> 00:51:30,643
Charming. So now you ask me
what they think caused the tumour.
1029
00:51:30,644 --> 00:51:33,443
- What?
- The green stripe.
1030
00:51:33,444 --> 00:51:35,563
No bloody way.
1031
00:51:35,564 --> 00:51:37,483
Yeah. As filthy as an unwiped arsehole.
1032
00:51:37,484 --> 00:51:39,203
As toxic as a uranium mudslide.
1033
00:51:39,204 --> 00:51:40,803
You know who found out about it?
1034
00:51:40,804 --> 00:51:43,763
The fucking Beijing health authorities.
1035
00:51:43,764 --> 00:51:46,163
Apparently the green stripes
are a mixture
1036
00:51:46,164 --> 00:51:49,603
of some petroleum by-products
and a Brazilian insecticide.
1037
00:51:49,604 --> 00:51:52,283
The insecticide gives a flavour,
the petroleum the colour.
1038
00:51:52,284 --> 00:51:54,523
- So what's in the yellow stripe?
- We're still looking into that.
1039
00:51:54,524 --> 00:51:55,604
But this is the point,
1040
00:51:55,605 --> 00:51:58,043
here is this company
sitting on a litigation time bomb.
1041
00:51:58,044 --> 00:51:59,244
They have to sell up quick,
1042
00:51:59,245 --> 00:52:02,083
flee town before the shit
hits the fast-rotating blades.
1043
00:52:02,084 --> 00:52:04,867
The question for us is this,
1044
00:52:04,868 --> 00:52:08,043
were Sellick and Wells
aware of this health report?
1045
00:52:08,044 --> 00:52:10,723
Of course the fuck they were.
I mean, they're dead men walking.
1046
00:52:10,724 --> 00:52:13,204
The only upside is my half-brother
had shares in them.
1047
00:52:14,604 --> 00:52:18,563
Do you know who Webster just
appointed to fill Allkirk's seat?
1048
00:52:18,564 --> 00:52:21,243
No-one. Because I haven't told them
who I want in there yet.
1049
00:52:21,244 --> 00:52:22,564
Um...
1050
00:52:24,004 --> 00:52:25,803
He's just announced it.
1051
00:52:25,804 --> 00:52:28,443
It's your half-brother, Cal McGregor.
1052
00:52:28,444 --> 00:52:31,723
(SCREAMS)
1053
00:52:31,724 --> 00:52:35,441
- Is it true? Is it fucking true?
- What?
1054
00:52:35,442 --> 00:52:40,203
That mealy-mouthed prolapsed
arsehole I made PM, hey,
1055
00:52:40,204 --> 00:52:43,363
naively thinking that he was just
a useless puff of fart wind
1056
00:52:43,364 --> 00:52:45,523
who would do as he was fucking told
1057
00:52:45,524 --> 00:52:49,700
has offered my fucking half-brother
Allkirk's seat?!
1058
00:52:50,804 --> 00:52:52,483
You!
1059
00:52:52,484 --> 00:52:54,780
Confess! Huh?
1060
00:52:55,404 --> 00:52:56,564
Has he announced it?
1061
00:52:59,044 --> 00:53:01,324
OK. OK.
1062
00:53:03,204 --> 00:53:04,444
This is good news.
1063
00:53:06,364 --> 00:53:09,243
What is the shortest ever term
for an Australian prime minister?
1064
00:53:09,244 --> 00:53:11,243
Frank Forde. Eight days.
1065
00:53:11,244 --> 00:53:13,083
I reckon we can better that.
1066
00:53:13,084 --> 00:53:15,643
(APPLAUSE)
1067
00:53:15,644 --> 00:53:18,563
(LAUGHS) Hey. G'day, mate.
1068
00:53:18,564 --> 00:53:20,243
I am humbled...
1069
00:53:20,244 --> 00:53:26,523
Do you ever feel like
you're on some far-flung asteroid
1070
00:53:26,524 --> 00:53:28,603
and looking down
through the Hubble telescope
1071
00:53:28,604 --> 00:53:31,443
and you see yourself as you really are?
1072
00:53:31,444 --> 00:53:36,123
Some infinitesimal speck of dust
1073
00:53:36,124 --> 00:53:40,923
stuck to a ball
spinning in the middle of infinity?
1074
00:53:40,924 --> 00:53:43,164
(BABY COUGHS)
1075
00:53:47,924 --> 00:53:52,443
And you're this tiny, tiny thing.
1076
00:53:52,444 --> 00:53:56,420
Sans purpose, sans consequence.
1077
00:53:57,844 --> 00:54:02,003
Stuck in the aspic of eternity
1078
00:54:02,004 --> 00:54:08,500
with no more import than the
fossilised turds of a woodlouse.
1079
00:54:10,084 --> 00:54:12,044
Ever have those days?
1080
00:54:22,404 --> 00:54:27,243
(LAUGHS) Gee! I reckon that just
deserves an Oz Ripple.
1081
00:54:27,244 --> 00:54:29,683
I reckon I could rip into a Ripple
myself.
1082
00:54:29,684 --> 00:54:32,403
? Oz Ripple, Oz Ripple ?
1083
00:54:32,404 --> 00:54:34,083
? It's a fair dinkum Oz Ripple... ?
1084
00:54:34,084 --> 00:54:36,043
What do you reckon about that, mate?
1085
00:54:36,044 --> 00:54:37,963
I love Oz Ripples.
1086
00:54:37,964 --> 00:54:40,723
? It's a fair dinkum Oz Ripple ?
1087
00:54:40,724 --> 00:54:44,020
? It's a fair dinkum Oz Ripple. ?
1088
00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:58,523
I'm Cal McGregor. I am Cal McGregor.
1089
00:54:58,524 --> 00:55:00,363
At 9:30 this morning
1090
00:55:00,364 --> 00:55:03,963
I became leader of the Federal
Parliamentary Liberal Party.
1091
00:55:03,964 --> 00:55:07,283
You have let this fucking Trojan
Horse into our party room.
1092
00:55:07,284 --> 00:55:09,203
Come on, mate! Get it in there!
1093
00:55:09,204 --> 00:55:10,723
Get it in there! Yes!
1094
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,323
Would you ever consider
taking me on as a client?
1095
00:55:14,324 --> 00:55:16,403
Fuck it! I'm finished.
1096
00:55:16,404 --> 00:55:17,923
What? Nicole!
1097
00:55:17,924 --> 00:55:19,124
Nicole!
1098
00:55:19,125 --> 00:55:21,163
- (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
- (SCREAMS) He's got a gun!
1099
00:55:21,164 --> 00:55:22,763
That's a gun! That's a fucking gun.
1100
00:55:22,764 --> 00:55:24,244
- (YELLS)
- Ouch!
1101
00:55:24,294 --> 00:55:28,844
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