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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:03,800 Oh, shit. Sorry, mate. 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,719 I was wondering if you would like to come to Canberra some time. 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,479 I'm try to set up a steering committee. 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,999 We're meant to be living in your fabulous harbour view apartment 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,639 on your multimillion-dollar salary but, no, 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,359 instead you decide to lodge another appeal against your brother 7 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,535 and are living in this dump. 8 00:00:19,536 --> 00:00:21,199 My father promised me that painting. 9 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,119 Piece of shit painting, with three cows eating grass. 10 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,999 So with Missy, you brought her to my house for a couple of days and that 11 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,839 was almost two years ago. 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,039 So you know what, I think it is your turn. 13 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,559 (GUNSHOT) 14 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,280 (SCREAMING) 15 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,799 She has been lying to all of us to create a persona. 16 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,999 She is a 100% fraud. 17 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,279 Senator Greene, you'll be hearing from my lawyers 18 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,599 as early as tomorrow morning 19 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,160 because no-one calls me a bald-faced liar and doesn't pay for it. 20 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:12,053 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 21 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,919 At 1530 hours Eastern Standard Time, 22 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,839 I informed the Governor General that following a successful leadership 23 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,159 challenge in the party room, 24 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,759 I have been elected the leader 25 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,760 of the Federal Parliamentary Liberal Party. 26 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,160 His Excellency then commissioned me to form a government. 27 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,439 Tomorrow the sun will rise on Anzac Day 28 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,319 as we honour those who gave so much 29 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,959 so that we might have the freedoms that we enjoy. 30 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,479 I'm only too cognisant of the significance 31 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,679 and grave responsibility bestowed upon me. 32 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,399 MAN: Prime Minister, is there blood on your hands? 33 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,079 WOMAN: Do you have the backing of the whole party? 34 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,159 I acknowledge the enormous contribution made by my predecessor, 35 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,799 Angela Sway in her long 28 weeks in office. 36 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,519 Let me assure you 37 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,679 there is no divisional rancour within my government. 38 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,839 We are a broad church 39 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:20,239 but united in the great dream of what this country can become. 40 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,159 MAN: Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! 41 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:26,679 The whole party room sings a song of cohesion and positivity 42 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,159 about the great tasks that lie ahead. 43 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,240 (TYRES SCREECHING) 44 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,120 (BANG!) 45 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:40,960 (BANG!) 46 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,360 (BANG!) 47 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,560 Oh, you b... 48 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,519 You know you are due in Senate, don't you? 49 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,359 There's a special sitting. 50 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,599 And an English couple rang wanting your address. 51 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:11,119 Oh, my God! My new buzz state people, is that today? 52 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,479 You do know that it is probably illegal and it could be seen as you 53 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,239 profiting personally from serving the Commonwealth. 54 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,839 It's a murky area of law. 55 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,000 They're English, Cleaver, they're not going to survive your squalor. 56 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,839 Fuck. 57 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,240 (DOORBELL RINGS) 58 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,199 - Senator Cleaver Greene? - Yes. Mr Clifford? 59 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,919 Where is Mrs Clifford? No luggage? That is fine. Come in. 60 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,839 I am just putting the finishing touches on your roof. 61 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,479 - Good morning. We are the Cliffords. - Good morning. 62 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,919 Oh, you're the Cliffords? 63 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,479 I had understood that there were only two of you. 64 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,480 There are. 65 00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:53,680 Two. 66 00:03:53,681 --> 00:03:55,759 Alright. OK. I'm sorry. 67 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,999 Come on in, Cliffords. Come in. 68 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,279 Make yourselves at home. 69 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,799 You're not a Clifford. 70 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:02,880 You are Senator Cleaver Greene? 71 00:04:02,881 --> 00:04:04,599 Yes, sadly yes. 72 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,600 Well, then... 73 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,519 Consider yourself served. 74 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,239 Are you kidding me? 75 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,199 A summons? Who is it? Let me guess. 76 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,799 - Penelope... - Penelope Evans. 77 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,999 Yes, yes, here we go. 78 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,879 Defamation. 79 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,119 Traduced and lowered her standing. Are you kidding me? 80 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,879 What special class of moron does that? 81 00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:28,506 Huh? 82 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,839 Accused the plaintiff of deceit and dishonesty in a malicious attempt 83 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,199 to damage her politically. 84 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,839 Can you believe this shit? 85 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,399 (DOORBELL RINGS) 86 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,480 Oh, great. Excuse me, that will be my firing squad, Cliffords. 87 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,439 Oh! Have I woken up in a French vase? 88 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,479 Reporting for duty, boss. 89 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,199 I am so ready for this. 90 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,999 Your press secretary, wow! 91 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,599 I guess it's not wow but it is an opportunity. 92 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,279 I didn't study journalism but Wendy said not to be discouraged 93 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,279 because I'm a good writer with a brain and I really need this. 94 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,759 So, thanks. 95 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,799 So, Wendy said all that, did she? 96 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,279 Good. 97 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,079 I am pretty good at making stuff up. 98 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,039 So I should be fine. 99 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,080 - Good. - Bathroom? 100 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,639 - Uh... where should we...? - You go upstairs. 101 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,599 There, take my room. 102 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,199 I will sleep on the sofa. 103 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,879 - Great. She really needs a nap, so... - Yes. 104 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,439 A couple of hours, though. 105 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,719 - See you at the house. - Yes. 106 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,279 Give us a call before you come in. 107 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,239 I have a few admin issues to iron out. 108 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,240 Have you got a plunger? Your sink is clogged with hair. 109 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,959 I followed up my degree at the Harvard School of journalism 110 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,759 with four years at Reuters on their international desk 111 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,399 and then the Guardian. 112 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,600 You are horribly overqualified for a Press Secretary. 113 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,119 Do you know anything about the man that you would be working for? 114 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:04,079 - Senator Greene? - I know he is a maverick. 115 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,639 Maverick is a word. 116 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,079 He was strong on farmers' rights. 117 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,880 - On the environment. - Strong is also a strong word. 118 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,040 - OK, I need the job. - Mm-hm. 119 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,319 I have two kids, we moved here, my husband is a lobbyist. 120 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,679 Newspapers now, 121 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,520 they're putting off more people than they can sell issues. 122 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,359 He is a bit of a nut job, isn't he? 123 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,800 Yes. That is the correct choice of words, yes. 124 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,279 Roland fucking Webster, eh? 125 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,440 Mate, I thought I had your unequivocal support. 126 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,519 Roland's purely a stopgap. 127 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,999 Six months to keep the moderates happy. 128 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,360 Then we make our move. 129 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,080 Does he know the real story with the terrorist attack? 130 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,639 No. 131 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,879 Why burden him with the details? He is just the PM. 132 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,320 Let him rabbit on about security, that always plays well. 133 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,840 We just need to get this Noyce business through the Senate. 134 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,359 You know that Penny Evans has got her knickers in a knot over it, 135 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,360 don't you? 136 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,360 (LAUGHS) 137 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,680 Look at the little pig. 138 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,639 We can't afford getting sued in your present circumstances. 139 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,279 Mate, I can't afford fucking lunch. 140 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,599 Alright? The banks won't budge. 141 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,079 I'm living out of your piggybank. 142 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,519 And now this lunatic is suing me. 143 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:33,950 I can continue to act as this banking facility for you 144 00:07:33,951 --> 00:07:37,159 but obviously we must do this covertly. 145 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,600 In time I will adhere to our arrangements. 146 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:49,599 I do this because I regard you as my friend and not just my client. 147 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,720 Yeah, likewise. 148 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:53,243 - A close friend. - Yeah. 149 00:07:53,244 --> 00:07:56,724 And one day maybe you will be in a position as a friend... 150 00:07:58,684 --> 00:08:00,764 ...to do me a favour. 151 00:08:08,924 --> 00:08:11,594 Oh. Yes. Of course. 152 00:08:11,595 --> 00:08:12,775 Thanks, mate. 153 00:08:12,776 --> 00:08:17,083 This government, with its hatred of the ordinary Australian, 154 00:08:17,084 --> 00:08:21,763 is basically prepared to let one of Australia's most loved icons, 155 00:08:21,764 --> 00:08:23,403 the Oz Ripple, 156 00:08:23,404 --> 00:08:27,363 slip through our hands and into the all too willing grasp 157 00:08:27,364 --> 00:08:29,083 of the Chinese people. 158 00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,283 Senator, put your prop down! 159 00:08:31,284 --> 00:08:36,243 Unless us, as Australians, stop the sale of Noyce Industries 160 00:08:36,244 --> 00:08:37,683 to the Chinese, 161 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,843 this ice-cream that has been so much a part 162 00:08:40,844 --> 00:08:43,163 of the lives of ordinary Australians 163 00:08:43,164 --> 00:08:45,403 will slip through Noyce Industries' hands 164 00:08:45,404 --> 00:08:48,683 and into the ever clasping, ever grasping 165 00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:51,203 clutches of a communist regime. 166 00:08:51,819 --> 00:08:53,723 Bit by bit, 167 00:08:53,724 --> 00:08:59,123 Australia is being handed over to any Chin or Chan with money. 168 00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:00,763 Senator, you've been warned. 169 00:09:00,764 --> 00:09:03,763 And look what they are proposing to do 170 00:09:03,764 --> 00:09:05,523 with the centre of our beloved ice-cream. 171 00:09:05,524 --> 00:09:07,203 Senator, you have been warned! 172 00:09:07,204 --> 00:09:10,523 Gone will be the green and gold of my childhood, 173 00:09:10,524 --> 00:09:13,723 replaced with a giant red blob. 174 00:09:13,724 --> 00:09:17,603 A giant red communist blob. 175 00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:19,523 (HUBBUB) 176 00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:25,763 Well, as leader of the Penny Evans party, I say to you, 177 00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:30,523 Australia will never have a red heart as long as there is breath... 178 00:09:30,524 --> 00:09:32,403 ...breath in my body. 179 00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:35,083 (PEOPLE ASSENT) 180 00:09:35,084 --> 00:09:37,883 Just look at her application. This woman is fantastic, Cleaver. 181 00:09:37,884 --> 00:09:39,004 Yes. Yes. 182 00:09:39,005 --> 00:09:43,323 She seems to have wasted a lot of time in New York, London, Syria, 183 00:09:43,324 --> 00:09:44,444 Iraq, blah, blah. 184 00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:47,403 I mean, I am after somebody with a bit more of a domestic focus. 185 00:09:47,404 --> 00:09:50,283 She is a Walkley award-winning journalist, Cleaver. 186 00:09:50,284 --> 00:09:52,083 They give them away in cornflakes packets. 187 00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:55,523 Just leave it with me. I am onto it. I am brewing something up. 188 00:09:55,524 --> 00:09:57,123 Have you told Frank he's fired yet? 189 00:09:57,124 --> 00:09:59,163 Not as such. He is a sensitive soul. 190 00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:01,363 He is a lump of basalt, Cleaver. 191 00:10:01,364 --> 00:10:03,923 He may have taken a few too many knocks to his head 192 00:10:03,924 --> 00:10:05,323 in his sporting career. 193 00:10:05,324 --> 00:10:07,083 Well, a few more might have been good. 194 00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:08,523 - You sack him. - I'm going to. 195 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:09,564 - When? - Today. 196 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,283 - When today? - When he sobers up. 197 00:10:11,284 --> 00:10:13,323 And what are you going to do about this defamation case? 198 00:10:13,324 --> 00:10:14,484 - Oh-ho... - Cleaver. 199 00:10:14,485 --> 00:10:17,083 This could kill your career and I need this job. 200 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,163 - So... - I know, I know. 201 00:10:19,164 --> 00:10:20,164 Oh, my God. 202 00:10:21,076 --> 00:10:22,803 So I said to her, this was on the Tuesday... 203 00:10:22,804 --> 00:10:24,004 On the Tuesday, yeah. 204 00:10:24,005 --> 00:10:26,003 If Bryce and I are going to go to the Blue Mountains 205 00:10:26,004 --> 00:10:27,483 and have this weekend, 206 00:10:27,484 --> 00:10:30,923 and really talk about our relationship, honestly and frankly... 207 00:10:30,924 --> 00:10:32,323 Mm-hm. 208 00:10:32,324 --> 00:10:34,323 Oh, no. Correction, sorry. 209 00:10:34,324 --> 00:10:36,003 I said this to her on the Wednesday. 210 00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:37,923 Oh, OK, on the Wednesday, yeah. 211 00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:40,363 Because on the Tuesday morning I had breakfast with Simone. 212 00:10:40,364 --> 00:10:41,524 On Tuesday morning. 213 00:10:41,525 --> 00:10:44,483 And I knew full well that Natalie was going to opt out of that breakfast, 214 00:10:44,484 --> 00:10:46,563 and sure enough, come Monday night... 215 00:10:46,564 --> 00:10:48,363 Oh, Monday night. Oh! 216 00:10:48,364 --> 00:10:49,723 (LAUGHS) Gosh. Um... 217 00:10:49,724 --> 00:10:52,563 I think we are getting into some really interesting territory here 218 00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:55,708 but I need to check on something and I'll... OK? 219 00:10:59,724 --> 00:11:00,724 (SIGHS) 220 00:11:08,884 --> 00:11:10,724 (MUFFLED YELL) 221 00:11:12,524 --> 00:11:14,603 (SIGHS) 222 00:11:14,604 --> 00:11:16,203 (EXHALES) 223 00:11:16,204 --> 00:11:17,204 Mm. 224 00:11:21,124 --> 00:11:23,563 Um... So, it was Monday night. 225 00:11:23,564 --> 00:11:24,684 No, actually. 226 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,883 In fairness to Natalie, it was Sunday evening... 227 00:11:26,884 --> 00:11:28,243 Oh, OK. ..that she rang. 228 00:11:28,244 --> 00:11:30,004 Well, that makes a difference. 229 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:37,003 What is it about a green and yellow striped something that makes it 230 00:11:37,004 --> 00:11:38,803 particularly Australian? 231 00:11:38,804 --> 00:11:41,403 - Green and gold. - It's not even the colour of our flag. 232 00:11:41,404 --> 00:11:43,003 It is meant to be wattle, isn't it? 233 00:11:43,004 --> 00:11:44,204 Well... I mean... 234 00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:48,883 It is also the colours of Ethiopia, Mauritania, Bolivia, Burkina... 235 00:11:48,884 --> 00:11:50,643 Where the fuck is Burkina Faso? 236 00:11:50,644 --> 00:11:52,803 I mean, it's an ice-cream. 237 00:11:52,804 --> 00:11:55,283 What is so special about an ice-cream? 238 00:11:55,284 --> 00:12:00,763 Well, for me, I had some pretty special memories of my childhood. 239 00:12:00,764 --> 00:12:03,523 My dad would take me fishing on Yamba jetty 240 00:12:03,524 --> 00:12:06,883 and if I caught something he would say, 241 00:12:06,884 --> 00:12:10,220 "Nic, I reckon that deserves an Oz Ripple, don't you?" 242 00:12:11,124 --> 00:12:13,923 Alright, well, a heart-warming tale. 243 00:12:13,924 --> 00:12:15,740 But he never forgot that either. 244 00:12:16,604 --> 00:12:19,804 When he was dying that was almost the last thing he talked about. 245 00:12:21,564 --> 00:12:23,764 OK. Genuinely moving. 246 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,643 But... but... 247 00:12:26,644 --> 00:12:30,163 ...haven't we got bigger issues to fry in this country? 248 00:12:30,164 --> 00:12:34,283 We do but that would require you to open one of these folders and read 249 00:12:34,284 --> 00:12:36,563 what is in it and actually form an opinion on something. 250 00:12:36,564 --> 00:12:38,443 Yeah, not going to happen. 251 00:12:38,444 --> 00:12:40,603 3-points, ladies and gentlemen. 252 00:12:40,604 --> 00:12:42,803 You know that you mentioned the Oz Ripple 253 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,803 in your 90-hour maiden speech? 254 00:12:44,804 --> 00:12:45,923 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 255 00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:46,924 - No, I didn't. - You did. 256 00:12:46,925 --> 00:12:48,923 You called it the Oz Ripper. 257 00:12:48,924 --> 00:12:50,603 Oh, the Oz Ripper? Yes. 258 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,843 You asked me to gather some Aussie icons 259 00:12:52,844 --> 00:12:54,763 so you could sound like a man of the people 260 00:12:54,764 --> 00:12:56,763 and I suggested the Oz Ripple. 261 00:12:56,764 --> 00:12:59,643 It was only one that had not been flogged off that I knew of. 262 00:12:59,644 --> 00:13:01,803 Well, we don't make anything here. 263 00:13:01,804 --> 00:13:05,443 We are a proud nation of baristas and hairdressers. 264 00:13:05,444 --> 00:13:09,243 Penny Evans is getting hit after hit about it on social media. 265 00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:10,963 About the Oz Ripper? Ripple. 266 00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,763 - Ripple. Yes. - Ripple. Oz Ripple. 267 00:13:12,764 --> 00:13:14,643 Positive or negative? 268 00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:17,163 A quarter of a million positives. 269 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,764 - You're kidding me. - No. 270 00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:22,283 - Fucking Oz Ripper. Ripple. - Ripple. 271 00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:23,723 - Holy shit. - Ripple. 272 00:13:23,724 --> 00:13:26,403 My old man was not much of a talker. 273 00:13:26,404 --> 00:13:30,043 Our special time was the hours we'd spend together 274 00:13:30,044 --> 00:13:32,843 fishing off the old Yamba jetty. 275 00:13:32,844 --> 00:13:35,764 Just him and me, father and son. 276 00:13:36,804 --> 00:13:42,123 A battered old fishing cap, pulled down over his balding pate. 277 00:13:42,124 --> 00:13:44,564 Pinkies inking on the old schnozz. 278 00:13:45,604 --> 00:13:48,563 How I relish those days. 279 00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:52,244 Days I now share with my own son. 280 00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:55,363 And when he was a little fella 281 00:13:55,364 --> 00:13:58,604 and he would reel in the occasional flatty... 282 00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:01,123 ...sand whiting, 283 00:14:01,124 --> 00:14:04,644 and I would turn to him and I would say, "Gee, son... 284 00:14:05,764 --> 00:14:07,804 "I reckon that one is worth an Oz Ripple." 285 00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:15,083 And we would bite into that choc-coated map of this nation. 286 00:14:15,084 --> 00:14:20,523 It was the last thing I shared with my old man before he died. 287 00:14:20,524 --> 00:14:24,763 For me, this is a deeply personal crusade. 288 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:30,083 There are others who have jumped on the bandwagon but, for me, 289 00:14:30,084 --> 00:14:31,164 it is personal. 290 00:14:31,165 --> 00:14:35,763 What are we going to leave our children or our children's children 291 00:14:35,764 --> 00:14:40,123 or our children's children's children, 292 00:14:40,124 --> 00:14:41,523 if not this? 293 00:14:41,524 --> 00:14:43,364 Hear, hear. 294 00:14:46,004 --> 00:14:49,323 Don't you Yamba me, you little ferret. 295 00:14:49,324 --> 00:14:52,083 How dare you grandstand on my bloody issue? 296 00:14:52,084 --> 00:14:53,443 I will take you down. 297 00:14:53,444 --> 00:14:54,963 I got your little writ. 298 00:14:54,964 --> 00:14:59,003 You must be the only person in human history to sue someone 299 00:14:59,004 --> 00:15:02,563 who is accusing them for being more intelligent than they actually are. 300 00:15:02,564 --> 00:15:04,643 You so don't get politics. 301 00:15:04,644 --> 00:15:06,723 I know how this place works and I am going to hurt you. 302 00:15:06,724 --> 00:15:09,923 You do, every time you speak the Queen's English. 303 00:15:09,924 --> 00:15:12,843 Oz Ripple is mine, lady. 304 00:15:12,844 --> 00:15:14,123 I checked Hansard. 305 00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:15,883 You called it the Oz Ripper. 306 00:15:15,884 --> 00:15:18,963 Or perhaps you were celebrating some Australian mass murderer. 307 00:15:18,964 --> 00:15:21,643 You handpick history like grapes, do you know that? 308 00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:24,043 You take the ones you like and spit out the bits that don't suit. 309 00:15:24,044 --> 00:15:25,683 You're just a criminal dilettante, Cleaver. 310 00:15:25,684 --> 00:15:27,483 You have nothing to say about anything. 311 00:15:27,484 --> 00:15:30,283 I'd respect you more if you were a genuine old-fashioned, 312 00:15:30,284 --> 00:15:31,523 tar and feather bigot. 313 00:15:31,524 --> 00:15:35,723 To affect racism and not actually believe in it yourself, 314 00:15:35,724 --> 00:15:40,924 that is about as low as you can get without being an actual virus. 315 00:15:42,044 --> 00:15:43,724 Oz Ripple is mine. 316 00:15:45,124 --> 00:15:46,364 It's mine. 317 00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:50,803 Cal, put your mind at ease. Nothing changes. 318 00:15:50,804 --> 00:15:53,403 You are still our number one big boy around here. 319 00:15:53,404 --> 00:15:56,483 We thought you might spark better off someone young and pretty. 320 00:15:56,484 --> 00:15:59,123 I might spark better if I'm left well alone. 321 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,123 We're trying to bring in a younger audience to hear your wisdom. 322 00:16:02,124 --> 00:16:04,083 Hmm. But she's too young. 323 00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:07,803 And she lacks experience and she does not have my gravitas. 324 00:16:07,804 --> 00:16:10,883 We hear you. If it does not work out, poof. 325 00:16:10,884 --> 00:16:12,963 She is gone. Your call. 326 00:16:12,964 --> 00:16:15,817 - That quick. Nothing changes. - Excellent. 327 00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,643 What the hell is that? 328 00:16:19,644 --> 00:16:20,644 Strong, isn't it? 329 00:16:21,724 --> 00:16:23,043 But it's my show. 330 00:16:23,044 --> 00:16:25,163 100%. 331 00:16:25,164 --> 00:16:27,204 The sign is just a sign. 332 00:16:28,804 --> 00:16:31,084 You two are going to have a lot of fun. 333 00:16:34,564 --> 00:16:37,803 The big issue, the one I really want to get stuck into tonight 334 00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:40,043 and, gee, this gets my dander up... 335 00:16:40,044 --> 00:16:42,604 You need to watch that at your age, Cal. 336 00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:46,883 ...is all this kerfuffle about the sale of an ice-cream. 337 00:16:46,884 --> 00:16:50,043 This is the sale of a major manufacturing company 338 00:16:50,044 --> 00:16:53,003 and may cement our economic future with China. 339 00:16:53,004 --> 00:16:54,883 Sales like this won't help everyone. 340 00:16:54,884 --> 00:16:58,003 Sounds like someone's superfund might have shares in them, Cal. 341 00:16:58,004 --> 00:17:00,623 Is it in your best interest if this goes through? 342 00:17:01,284 --> 00:17:05,203 My personal share portfolio has nothing to do with this, Caitlyn. 343 00:17:05,204 --> 00:17:08,523 Don't we love him, girls, when he becomes Mr Old Grumpy Pants? 344 00:17:08,524 --> 00:17:11,843 He is adorable. Like our old favourite uncle, isn't he? 345 00:17:11,844 --> 00:17:13,923 Even though he is so very wrong. 346 00:17:13,924 --> 00:17:15,403 Oh, I'm not wrong. 347 00:17:15,404 --> 00:17:17,043 Yeah, you are. 348 00:17:17,044 --> 00:17:20,203 This ice-cream has been part of our heritage 349 00:17:20,204 --> 00:17:23,843 ever since the Noyce family began production over 70 years ago 350 00:17:23,844 --> 00:17:25,203 and built themselves 351 00:17:25,204 --> 00:17:27,643 into the massive Australian concern they are today. 352 00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:30,683 This is not just about a delicious ice-cream, 353 00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:33,883 it is about who we are as a people. 354 00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:38,963 As today, ANZAC Day, we celebrate the heroes of both wars, 355 00:17:38,964 --> 00:17:43,083 where young men gave their very lives in service of our country. 356 00:17:43,084 --> 00:17:46,523 What did those green and gold stripes really mean? 357 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:50,683 And are we going to settle for a red blob in the middle of our country? 358 00:17:50,684 --> 00:17:52,764 Is that really what you want for us, Cal? 359 00:17:53,684 --> 00:17:54,963 Ha! 360 00:17:54,964 --> 00:17:56,723 Let us get a weather update. 361 00:17:56,724 --> 00:17:58,323 (SIGN-OFF MUSIC) 362 00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:00,403 OK, what the fuck just happened? 363 00:18:00,404 --> 00:18:02,004 What happened to the script? 364 00:18:13,084 --> 00:18:15,123 OK, that is coffee. That's cold coffee. 365 00:18:15,124 --> 00:18:16,484 I didn't have time to heat it. 366 00:18:18,244 --> 00:18:20,523 You have stained my shirt, crazy lady. 367 00:18:20,524 --> 00:18:22,203 You've stained my memories. 368 00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:25,123 That was MY personal story. 369 00:18:25,124 --> 00:18:27,283 Pardon me, but if you look at your job discretion, 370 00:18:27,284 --> 00:18:31,363 you will see that you are actually described as my researcher. 371 00:18:31,364 --> 00:18:34,443 Yeah? And so therefore anything you tell me, 372 00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:36,163 I will assume to be research 373 00:18:36,164 --> 00:18:39,443 and that I can use it unless otherwise specified. 374 00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:40,803 You are an arsehole. 375 00:18:40,804 --> 00:18:41,804 Use that. 376 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:46,803 On the upside, your research has really... 377 00:18:46,804 --> 00:18:48,243 It was not research, Cleaver, 378 00:18:48,244 --> 00:18:52,123 that was my personal story about my late father. 379 00:18:52,124 --> 00:18:53,763 Whatever the derivation, 380 00:18:53,764 --> 00:18:55,763 incredible result. 381 00:18:55,764 --> 00:19:00,843 Have a look for yourself. I'm running red hot on social media right now. 382 00:19:00,844 --> 00:19:01,964 Red hot! 383 00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:06,563 You don't happen to have any other stories that you can...? 384 00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:09,763 OK, now is probably not the right time to talk about that. 385 00:19:09,764 --> 00:19:11,043 But have a think about it. 386 00:19:11,044 --> 00:19:15,083 Is there a change of shirt in here you could help me out with? 387 00:19:15,084 --> 00:19:17,364 It's hanging out, Cleaver. Have you sacked him yet? 388 00:19:24,004 --> 00:19:27,363 The weight is in these Dickie Dougie Suits or emu suits. 389 00:19:27,364 --> 00:19:28,683 They can do the glassy thing. 390 00:19:28,684 --> 00:19:30,164 Go around and pick up the glass... OK. 391 00:19:31,084 --> 00:19:33,963 Just having a one-on-one with Ryan Fefney. 392 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,535 Some very interesting intel vis-a-vis a number of issues 393 00:19:37,536 --> 00:19:39,403 apropos what we are dealing with. 394 00:19:39,404 --> 00:19:42,084 - What are we dealing with? - Well, exactly. 395 00:19:43,444 --> 00:19:45,323 How do you want me to play this ice-cream thing? 396 00:19:45,324 --> 00:19:46,884 Frank... Look... 397 00:19:47,924 --> 00:19:50,763 Nicole has raised a few concerns. 398 00:19:50,764 --> 00:19:53,563 She is not up to it. Sorry to interrupt. 399 00:19:53,564 --> 00:19:57,563 I have to tell you as a mate you have got to ditch her. 400 00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,883 It is funny you should say that because she seems worried about you. 401 00:20:00,884 --> 00:20:03,443 She doesn't see what I do. 402 00:20:03,444 --> 00:20:04,923 Very few do. 403 00:20:04,924 --> 00:20:07,064 See, she is worried and I am worried 404 00:20:07,089 --> 00:20:09,348 that you've taken on too big a load. 405 00:20:10,564 --> 00:20:13,003 You... you look exhausted. 406 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:15,083 Unseen stress goes with the job. 407 00:20:15,084 --> 00:20:19,523 It's killing you and I'm not going to live with your death on my hands. 408 00:20:19,524 --> 00:20:21,483 So what... Here's an idea. 409 00:20:21,484 --> 00:20:23,683 We cut back your days a bit, 410 00:20:23,684 --> 00:20:26,523 reduce that incredible workload 411 00:20:26,524 --> 00:20:29,643 and make sure you're in it for the long haul. 412 00:20:29,644 --> 00:20:33,083 How would you see my new role, then? 413 00:20:33,084 --> 00:20:39,283 You will be the basalt upon which my future is built. 414 00:20:39,284 --> 00:20:42,449 I need you right here 415 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:48,123 at the epicentre of contemporary Australian political thought. 416 00:20:48,124 --> 00:20:49,923 This bar. 417 00:20:49,924 --> 00:20:51,483 Yeah? Listening. 418 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:54,803 Talking. Doing all the vital one-on-one stuff. 419 00:20:54,804 --> 00:20:56,203 Would I still be the press officer? 420 00:20:56,204 --> 00:20:57,723 No, no, no. 421 00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:02,403 I'm... promoting you. 422 00:21:02,404 --> 00:21:07,163 You're going to be my director of communications. 423 00:21:07,164 --> 00:21:09,963 Wow. Big responsibility! 424 00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:12,563 Yes, yes. It's a big responsibility. 425 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:15,283 Just over the next little while, 426 00:21:15,284 --> 00:21:17,323 whenever you see Nicole, 427 00:21:17,324 --> 00:21:21,243 just give her a wide berth because she's gonna be green with envy. 428 00:21:21,244 --> 00:21:25,803 Alright? And her... her neck's on the chopping block. 429 00:21:25,804 --> 00:21:27,323 You're absolutely sure about this? 430 00:21:27,324 --> 00:21:29,603 - 100%. - Have you spoke to the auditors? 431 00:21:29,604 --> 00:21:30,684 Yes. 432 00:21:30,685 --> 00:21:32,083 Did you call those numbers I gave you? 433 00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:34,803 - Yeah. - Jesus. 434 00:21:34,804 --> 00:21:37,444 Confirm it again. You know what this means if we're right? 435 00:21:41,844 --> 00:21:44,523 CLEAVER: I said I'd think about taking Missy on, 436 00:21:44,524 --> 00:21:46,603 not actually take her on. 437 00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:48,963 I know she's fragile at present, 438 00:21:48,964 --> 00:21:52,723 but I don't have a bed or anything for her or the baby. 439 00:21:52,724 --> 00:21:54,563 I need a proper press secretary. 440 00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:59,083 I'm making significant headway opposing this Oz Ripper sale. 441 00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:03,203 This will put me on the map, but I need someone with real experience, 442 00:22:03,204 --> 00:22:05,803 do you know what I mean? Working the press 24/7. 443 00:22:05,804 --> 00:22:08,323 Call me the moment you get this message. 444 00:22:08,324 --> 00:22:10,924 AUTOMATED VOICE: Press 4 to replay this message. 445 00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:17,723 I said I'd think about taking Missy on, not actually take her on. 446 00:22:17,724 --> 00:22:21,763 OK, so your job is to generate stories about me. 447 00:22:21,764 --> 00:22:25,083 OK? It doesn't matter what, any old bullshit, it's just noise. 448 00:22:25,084 --> 00:22:27,083 OK? As long as I'm front and centre. 449 00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:30,203 So at the moment I need as much exposure as possible 450 00:22:30,204 --> 00:22:31,483 about this Oz Ripper. 451 00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:32,844 - Ripple. - Ripple. 452 00:22:34,084 --> 00:22:36,003 Yeah, I heard Penny Evans talking about it. 453 00:22:36,004 --> 00:22:37,323 Actually, she made a lot of sense. 454 00:22:37,324 --> 00:22:40,283 - No, she doesn't. She's a mad person. - Oh. 455 00:22:40,284 --> 00:22:42,243 Yes, we hate... you hate her 456 00:22:42,244 --> 00:22:46,243 and you must do everything in your power to destroy her. 457 00:22:46,244 --> 00:22:48,123 OK, fair enough. 458 00:22:48,124 --> 00:22:51,003 Now, we haven't talked about my working arrangements yet. 459 00:22:51,004 --> 00:22:57,044 OK, now as I'm sure Wendy mentioned, you would be job sharing. 460 00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:02,043 Wendy thought that you'd need some time with Winston. 461 00:23:02,044 --> 00:23:03,883 Oh, that's very thoughtful of her. 462 00:23:03,884 --> 00:23:06,820 Yeah. So you will be job sharing with... 463 00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:13,003 ...one of the most highly respected veteran journos in the country. 464 00:23:13,004 --> 00:23:16,043 And so will I be sharing an office with him or her? 465 00:23:16,044 --> 00:23:18,243 No, no, no. Well, he doesn't need an office. 466 00:23:18,244 --> 00:23:21,483 He's fieldwork, kind of guy. 467 00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:23,803 So I'll be in with you and Nicole? 468 00:23:23,804 --> 00:23:25,323 OK. About Nicole. 469 00:23:25,324 --> 00:23:27,283 Here's the thing. 470 00:23:27,284 --> 00:23:31,763 You had best keep away from Nicole for a while 471 00:23:31,764 --> 00:23:34,603 because she's in a really bad place. 472 00:23:34,604 --> 00:23:38,243 She's grieving the death of her dad. 473 00:23:38,736 --> 00:23:41,016 He died years ago, didn't he? 474 00:23:41,644 --> 00:23:45,440 You can't quantify grief like that, can you? 475 00:23:45,441 --> 00:23:46,479 There's no... 476 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,643 Australian Oz Ripple... 477 00:23:47,644 --> 00:23:50,523 Oh, making yourselves at home there? 478 00:23:50,524 --> 00:23:51,524 Huh? 479 00:23:51,525 --> 00:23:53,043 Green and gold of my childhood. 480 00:23:53,044 --> 00:23:54,483 And as a little girl... 481 00:23:54,484 --> 00:23:55,963 Yes? 482 00:23:55,964 --> 00:23:59,883 ...my folks would give me 50 cents if I had done all my chores, 483 00:23:59,884 --> 00:24:01,803 and my sister and I, 484 00:24:01,804 --> 00:24:06,403 we'd run on down to the local corner shop and I'd look up and I'd say, 485 00:24:06,404 --> 00:24:09,563 "Hey, Mr O'Rourke, two Oz Ripples please." 486 00:24:09,564 --> 00:24:11,203 OK. Fact check that. 487 00:24:11,204 --> 00:24:12,563 Alright? O'Rourke. 488 00:24:12,564 --> 00:24:15,243 See if there even was an O'Rourke where she grew up. 489 00:24:15,244 --> 00:24:17,923 Because that's probably bullshit, we can use it in court. 490 00:24:17,924 --> 00:24:19,323 Sorry. 491 00:24:19,324 --> 00:24:23,700 We make it a rule to never speak while masticating our food. 492 00:24:26,084 --> 00:24:27,883 Haven't they got more important things to worry about 493 00:24:27,884 --> 00:24:29,203 than an ice-cream? 494 00:24:29,204 --> 00:24:31,483 The heart of Australia will never be red. 495 00:24:31,484 --> 00:24:36,643 My parents and I would stand together and watch the Anzac parade 496 00:24:36,644 --> 00:24:40,364 and all wave our Oz Ripples as our heroes passed by. 497 00:24:41,884 --> 00:24:43,603 That ice-cream was our flag. 498 00:24:43,604 --> 00:24:45,963 Hear, hear. 499 00:24:45,964 --> 00:24:51,483 So Mr President, while Senator Evans was busy waving from the sidelines, 500 00:24:51,484 --> 00:24:56,323 as what you would have to imagine, a fairly irritating 7-year-old child, 501 00:24:56,324 --> 00:25:03,723 I was proudly marching in the parade with my father and grandfather, 502 00:25:03,724 --> 00:25:04,764 Artie Green. 503 00:25:04,765 --> 00:25:06,563 And at march's end, 504 00:25:06,564 --> 00:25:10,244 we would sit quietly and eat a Ripper Ripple... 505 00:25:11,284 --> 00:25:13,483 ...in honour of their fallen comrades. 506 00:25:13,484 --> 00:25:14,884 Hear, hear. 507 00:25:16,204 --> 00:25:17,404 Senator Potter. 508 00:25:17,405 --> 00:25:20,004 Oh, bring me my pethidine. 509 00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:26,603 I don't particularly care whether the centre was red, green or brown. 510 00:25:26,604 --> 00:25:28,283 - Shame! - SHAME! 511 00:25:28,284 --> 00:25:30,043 What I am concerned about 512 00:25:30,044 --> 00:25:32,163 is the manner in which Noyce Industries 513 00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:34,203 is going about selling their business. 514 00:25:34,204 --> 00:25:37,643 Now, I seek leave to table several documents. 515 00:25:37,644 --> 00:25:39,483 These are expense statements 516 00:25:39,484 --> 00:25:42,963 that do not appear on the official government register 517 00:25:42,964 --> 00:25:45,923 and have not been cited by the auditor general. 518 00:25:45,924 --> 00:25:48,843 They belong to two government senators. 519 00:25:48,844 --> 00:25:53,163 Senators Selleck and Wells and a member of the Lower House, 520 00:25:53,164 --> 00:25:55,123 the so-called Honourable Member Allkirk. 521 00:25:55,124 --> 00:25:57,043 (HUBBUB) Absolutely not. 522 00:25:57,044 --> 00:25:58,044 Order! 523 00:25:58,045 --> 00:26:01,283 Now, it would appear if these documents are correct, 524 00:26:01,284 --> 00:26:04,403 that these three politicians received substantial gifts 525 00:26:04,404 --> 00:26:07,523 to act as intermediaries in the proposed Noyce sale. 526 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:10,483 Slender! I defy you to repeat any of this outside of this place! 527 00:26:10,484 --> 00:26:11,763 Happily. 528 00:26:11,764 --> 00:26:13,083 According to these, 529 00:26:13,084 --> 00:26:15,763 these three politicians received business class seats, 530 00:26:15,764 --> 00:26:19,323 a week's all-expenses-paid holiday at the Cowlin Resort 531 00:26:19,324 --> 00:26:21,643 and $2,000 in casino chips. 532 00:26:21,644 --> 00:26:24,883 There is a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. 533 00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:26,523 Well, we would all like to hear it. 534 00:26:26,524 --> 00:26:29,923 These are baseless allegations and although I am stepping down, 535 00:26:29,924 --> 00:26:32,283 let me be clear, I am not resigning. 536 00:26:32,284 --> 00:26:36,443 And I very much look forward to clearing my name, looking forward. 537 00:26:36,444 --> 00:26:39,763 And I very much look forward, very forward to clearing my name, 538 00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:40,964 looking forward... 539 00:26:40,965 --> 00:26:42,723 ...against the sale of the Ripple 540 00:26:42,724 --> 00:26:45,283 and clearly my instincts have been confirmed. 541 00:26:45,284 --> 00:26:47,723 I said this was a dirty deal from the start. 542 00:26:47,724 --> 00:26:51,603 Clearly it is. This is how the Chinese play, people. 543 00:26:51,604 --> 00:26:54,323 How do we hose down this Harry shit? 544 00:26:54,324 --> 00:26:55,683 Well, he's done the work 545 00:26:55,684 --> 00:26:58,323 and due diligence expected of him as a senator 546 00:26:58,324 --> 00:27:01,203 and he has wiped the floor with you and Penny Evans. 547 00:27:01,204 --> 00:27:03,683 Three pollies down, maybe out. Spotlight's on him. 548 00:27:03,684 --> 00:27:05,763 I've got to reclaim the moral high ground. 549 00:27:05,764 --> 00:27:08,523 It's an ice-cream, Cleaver, there is no moral high ground. 550 00:27:08,524 --> 00:27:10,083 Fuckin' Harry sorry David! 551 00:27:10,084 --> 00:27:11,483 Can you believe it? I mean... 552 00:27:11,484 --> 00:27:14,643 I raised... This is my issue, I raised this issue. 553 00:27:14,644 --> 00:27:18,643 You didn't raise any issue, Cleaver, or do any actual research. 554 00:27:18,644 --> 00:27:20,803 You just gave the vague approximation 555 00:27:20,804 --> 00:27:21,884 of a name of an ice-cream 556 00:27:21,885 --> 00:27:25,123 and then you stole a childhood memory from me. 557 00:27:25,124 --> 00:27:27,603 I threw a pebble in a pond. 558 00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:31,523 You know? I set the ripples in motion and now look where we are. 559 00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:34,123 Two government ministers gone, a backbencher gone. 560 00:27:34,124 --> 00:27:36,203 That's me. That's my... 561 00:27:36,204 --> 00:27:38,083 That's all down to me. That's me, me, me. 562 00:27:38,084 --> 00:27:39,603 I've said this before, Cleaver, 563 00:27:39,604 --> 00:27:41,163 but you might be getting to that point again 564 00:27:41,164 --> 00:27:43,323 where you need a blanket and sedation. 565 00:27:43,324 --> 00:27:45,603 He's not going to get away with this shit. 566 00:27:45,604 --> 00:27:47,523 Away with what shit, Cleaver? 567 00:27:47,524 --> 00:27:49,524 Doing his job? 568 00:27:53,964 --> 00:27:56,483 - Missy... what are you doing? - Cleave. 569 00:27:56,484 --> 00:28:00,961 I need you to organise me a press conference for 12 o'clock today. 570 00:28:00,962 --> 00:28:02,114 To say what? 571 00:28:02,115 --> 00:28:04,083 To say that this sale is not going to go ahead 572 00:28:04,084 --> 00:28:07,483 because I have single-handedly saved the Oz Ripper. 573 00:28:07,484 --> 00:28:08,727 - Ripple. - Ripple. 574 00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,083 I know. Don't... 575 00:28:10,084 --> 00:28:11,283 Don't follow me. 576 00:28:11,284 --> 00:28:12,284 What? 577 00:28:13,484 --> 00:28:16,843 Right. Organised a press conference for 12 o'clock. 578 00:28:16,844 --> 00:28:18,883 - You did? By yourself? - Tick. 579 00:28:18,884 --> 00:28:19,924 Well, you can't, 580 00:28:19,925 --> 00:28:21,843 you've got a kids' science award presentation at 12. 581 00:28:21,844 --> 00:28:22,964 Well, cancel it. 582 00:28:22,965 --> 00:28:24,363 No. You're presenting an award 583 00:28:24,364 --> 00:28:26,508 to a top primary school student at Henley Hall. 584 00:28:26,509 --> 00:28:28,803 Well, that sounds shithouse. Somebody from the Government should do that. 585 00:28:28,804 --> 00:28:30,723 No, it's science, Government won't go near it. 586 00:28:30,724 --> 00:28:32,683 Anyway, Potter's got one at 12. 587 00:28:32,684 --> 00:28:34,643 Oh, fucking Potter. 588 00:28:34,644 --> 00:28:36,462 Oh... OK, I'll have to make mine 12:30. 589 00:28:36,463 --> 00:28:38,123 No, Penny Evans has got one at 12:30. 590 00:28:38,124 --> 00:28:40,723 Oh, God. OK, I'll have to make mine one o'clock! 591 00:28:40,724 --> 00:28:43,603 Fuck! I'm losing precious time here. 592 00:28:43,604 --> 00:28:45,644 I'll just let you organise that yourself, shall I? 593 00:28:48,484 --> 00:28:52,123 Miss, I need you to move my press conference to 1pm, OK? 594 00:28:52,124 --> 00:28:53,660 And knock us up a speech. 595 00:28:54,484 --> 00:28:56,283 A speech, just a... 596 00:28:56,284 --> 00:28:57,684 Yeah, the issues. OK. 597 00:28:58,924 --> 00:29:00,683 Yaakov, we have got to go, mate. 598 00:29:00,684 --> 00:29:01,764 Henley Hall, please. 599 00:29:03,084 --> 00:29:06,123 Very soon a time will come when you need to make a decision. 600 00:29:06,124 --> 00:29:08,723 There is about to be a coup. 601 00:29:08,724 --> 00:29:11,523 What? Another... A coup in Parliament? 602 00:29:11,524 --> 00:29:12,563 Amongst the drivers. 603 00:29:12,564 --> 00:29:14,130 A quantum power shift 604 00:29:14,131 --> 00:29:16,643 with massive implications for this country at large. 605 00:29:16,644 --> 00:29:18,243 Implications for the country at large. 606 00:29:18,244 --> 00:29:20,963 OK, great, I got it. Now can we go to Henley Hall please, buddy? 607 00:29:20,964 --> 00:29:24,364 Place your faith in Yaakov Novak at your own peril. 608 00:29:25,884 --> 00:29:27,563 I trust I make myself clear? 609 00:29:27,564 --> 00:29:29,524 Yeah, not particularly, mate. 610 00:29:40,684 --> 00:29:43,323 I trust you want me to take you to Henley Hall? 611 00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:45,323 Yeah, yeah. 612 00:29:45,324 --> 00:29:49,124 So there was another driver here. 613 00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:51,404 I know. 614 00:29:55,684 --> 00:29:59,044 These are complicated political times. 615 00:30:07,764 --> 00:30:11,322 Senator Penny Evans claimed that the bribes were the result 616 00:30:11,323 --> 00:30:13,643 of Chinese corruption. 617 00:30:13,644 --> 00:30:15,003 The opposite is true. 618 00:30:15,458 --> 00:30:18,443 It appears that the bribes have come from Australia. 619 00:30:18,444 --> 00:30:22,683 Earlier today, I was informed by the Federal Police that Desmond Noyce, 620 00:30:22,684 --> 00:30:24,123 the CEO of Noyce Industries, 621 00:30:24,124 --> 00:30:29,123 has been charged with bribing senior government members. 622 00:30:29,124 --> 00:30:31,723 (APPLAUSE) 623 00:30:31,724 --> 00:30:35,763 And now for our next guest presenter, 624 00:30:35,764 --> 00:30:38,003 we have Senator Cleaver Greene, 625 00:30:38,004 --> 00:30:40,403 who has come all the way from Parliament House 626 00:30:40,404 --> 00:30:42,163 to present our science prize 627 00:30:42,164 --> 00:30:47,203 to the most outstanding science student in our under-12 age group. 628 00:30:47,204 --> 00:30:49,923 So please welcome Senator Greene. 629 00:30:49,924 --> 00:30:53,123 (APPLAUSE) 630 00:30:53,124 --> 00:30:55,563 Thank you very much. 631 00:30:55,564 --> 00:31:00,083 And congratulations to Sherry MacGyver, you won. 632 00:31:00,084 --> 00:31:01,843 (APPLAUSE) 633 00:31:01,844 --> 00:31:03,803 Quick, quick. Good. 634 00:31:03,804 --> 00:31:08,843 Well done, Sherry. Congratulations on your science project, 635 00:31:08,844 --> 00:31:13,723 comparing the output of lithium batteries to ones powered by van... 636 00:31:13,724 --> 00:31:14,804 - ...Van Damme... - Vanadium. 637 00:31:14,805 --> 00:31:17,643 Vanadium is a mineral used in steel production and 638 00:31:17,644 --> 00:31:21,363 my research was looking at different ways of prolonging battery life, 639 00:31:21,364 --> 00:31:23,283 even though lithium has a better storage capacity. 640 00:31:23,284 --> 00:31:24,843 Incredible, thank you, Sherry! 641 00:31:24,844 --> 00:31:26,403 She's only 12 years old 642 00:31:26,404 --> 00:31:31,323 and what a great and wonderful future we have with kids like her. Huh? 643 00:31:31,324 --> 00:31:33,003 You better run back your seat, darling. 644 00:31:33,004 --> 00:31:34,649 Show Mum and Dad that award. 645 00:31:34,650 --> 00:31:36,483 So thank you very much, Henley Hall, 646 00:31:36,484 --> 00:31:38,163 you have been incredible, 647 00:31:38,164 --> 00:31:41,060 and now I'll throw back to someone else. 648 00:31:43,084 --> 00:31:44,603 Done and dusted. I'm outta here. 649 00:31:44,604 --> 00:31:48,363 OK, can you push my press conference by 15 minutes? 650 00:31:48,364 --> 00:31:49,643 And is my car waiting? 651 00:31:49,644 --> 00:31:54,963 She as an adviser to the UN on climate science and she is also an 652 00:31:54,964 --> 00:31:58,523 international spokesperson for the Refugee Action Alliance. 653 00:31:58,524 --> 00:31:59,860 Well, round numbers. 654 00:32:00,884 --> 00:32:03,020 No, that's just a round number. 655 00:32:04,164 --> 00:32:05,620 Sorry, who resigned? 656 00:32:07,284 --> 00:32:09,203 OK, well, tell them I've got new information. 657 00:32:09,204 --> 00:32:11,123 (APPLAUSE) 658 00:32:11,124 --> 00:32:13,643 No, of course I don't, but they don't know that. 659 00:32:13,644 --> 00:32:20,043 I am heartened to see so many clever young faces here today. 660 00:32:20,044 --> 00:32:25,123 I heard a senator in your parliament ask if this country 661 00:32:25,124 --> 00:32:29,323 has the right policies in place for the next 10 years. 662 00:32:29,324 --> 00:32:32,043 The answer is yes, you do. 663 00:32:32,044 --> 00:32:38,083 But if you want to live beyond those 10 years, then no. 664 00:32:38,084 --> 00:32:40,443 You have almost no single... 665 00:32:40,444 --> 00:32:43,180 Can you push it to 1:30, please? 666 00:32:48,684 --> 00:32:51,563 I am sorry, I'm not sure what's happened to him. 667 00:32:51,564 --> 00:32:53,043 That's OK, I'm not a journo. 668 00:32:53,044 --> 00:32:55,724 I'm a sparky on my break. I just needed a chair. 669 00:32:58,724 --> 00:33:02,563 When he does arrive, I wonder if you wouldn't mind not telling him that. 670 00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:04,043 It's kind of my first day. 671 00:33:04,044 --> 00:33:05,124 OK. 672 00:33:06,804 --> 00:33:10,963 Conservative voices keep representing science 673 00:33:10,964 --> 00:33:13,323 as somehow left wing, 674 00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:17,683 as having a radical agenda that will destroy the economy. 675 00:33:17,684 --> 00:33:21,683 But science is neither left or right wing. 676 00:33:21,684 --> 00:33:24,203 It is science. 677 00:33:24,204 --> 00:33:27,723 When we fly, when we get chest X-rays, 678 00:33:27,724 --> 00:33:29,963 when we take treatments for cancer, 679 00:33:29,964 --> 00:33:33,923 we do so because of science. 680 00:33:33,924 --> 00:33:38,683 Do we ask if the science that made these is left or right wing? 681 00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:41,963 As scientists, we assemble data, 682 00:33:41,964 --> 00:33:46,083 analyse it and try and predict a future. 683 00:33:46,084 --> 00:33:52,203 And science tells us that nothing will destabilise an economy more 684 00:33:52,204 --> 00:33:54,723 than global warming. 685 00:33:54,724 --> 00:33:59,563 Our obsession with economic growth is killing the world... 686 00:33:59,564 --> 00:34:02,043 Can't talk, move it to 2:30. 687 00:34:02,044 --> 00:34:03,523 It's like telling a morbidly obese person 688 00:34:03,524 --> 00:34:06,643 they must eat more chocolate cake. 689 00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:10,683 At some point, they will explode. 690 00:34:10,684 --> 00:34:14,723 (LAUGHTER) 691 00:34:14,724 --> 00:34:16,243 Well, thank you so much. 692 00:34:16,244 --> 00:34:18,964 It was so lovely, lovely to meet you. 693 00:34:21,004 --> 00:34:24,883 Senator Cleaver Greene. I was your fellow speaker here today. 694 00:34:24,884 --> 00:34:26,483 Li Ming Wu. Hi. 695 00:34:26,484 --> 00:34:30,683 I am so sorry I missed your talk. My flight from the States was delayed. 696 00:34:30,684 --> 00:34:33,203 I hope I didn't repeat anything you said already. 697 00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:34,244 There was a bit of an overlap, 698 00:34:34,245 --> 00:34:37,403 but look I don't think you can get that message about the environment 699 00:34:37,404 --> 00:34:38,643 through to kids enough. 700 00:34:38,644 --> 00:34:41,363 So, you are part of the government. 701 00:34:41,364 --> 00:34:43,803 Well, I am, you know, I am a senator, as I said. 702 00:34:43,804 --> 00:34:46,163 But no, very much an independent. 703 00:34:46,164 --> 00:34:50,883 I often feel like the lone voice in a sea of deniers. 704 00:34:50,884 --> 00:34:54,220 I hear very good things about... is it David Potter? 705 00:34:55,324 --> 00:34:56,763 Oh, God, no. 706 00:34:56,764 --> 00:34:59,843 - No, no, no. Lot of hot air there. - Oh. 707 00:34:59,844 --> 00:35:02,763 He is not committed in the same way you or I are. 708 00:35:02,764 --> 00:35:03,964 Yeah, it is interesting. 709 00:35:03,965 --> 00:35:06,523 I got him off murder charges in a previous life. 710 00:35:06,524 --> 00:35:07,883 - Oh! - Yeah. 711 00:35:07,884 --> 00:35:09,203 (BOTH LAUGH) 712 00:35:09,204 --> 00:35:13,043 Oh, dear. You were a lawyer? 713 00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:15,883 Mainly human rights stuff, yeah. 714 00:35:15,884 --> 00:35:17,483 Yes. How long are you in Canberra for? 715 00:35:17,484 --> 00:35:18,923 I leave tomorrow night. 716 00:35:18,924 --> 00:35:20,683 What about 717 00:35:20,684 --> 00:35:21,844 dinner tonight? 718 00:35:21,845 --> 00:35:24,203 I'm afraid not. 719 00:35:24,204 --> 00:35:25,843 Lunch tomorrow? 720 00:35:25,844 --> 00:35:27,403 Uh... 721 00:35:27,404 --> 00:35:29,523 Well, OK, Senator. 722 00:35:29,524 --> 00:35:31,723 If you can make it a late one. 723 00:35:31,724 --> 00:35:36,403 Oh, I can make it an anyone, I'll push my schedule. 724 00:35:36,404 --> 00:35:38,763 Can we make it at Wang's? 725 00:35:38,764 --> 00:35:40,763 Wang's, why? 726 00:35:40,764 --> 00:35:43,523 Do you not like it? It's my favourite place in Canberra. 727 00:35:43,524 --> 00:35:46,163 Oh, yes. It's mine too. 728 00:35:46,164 --> 00:35:47,643 - I can't get enough. - Fantastic. 729 00:35:47,644 --> 00:35:50,203 - Can we say two? - Yes. 730 00:35:50,204 --> 00:35:52,724 Yeah. Just you and me. 731 00:35:54,164 --> 00:35:55,483 I meant the time. 732 00:35:55,484 --> 00:35:57,203 - That was funny. - Yeah, I know. 733 00:35:57,204 --> 00:35:58,484 I knew. I knew that. 734 00:36:00,350 --> 00:36:02,380 Darling, I'm home. 735 00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:04,420 Sweetheart? 736 00:36:05,870 --> 00:36:07,550 It's just me, pet. 737 00:36:23,964 --> 00:36:25,444 (SIGHS) 738 00:36:26,444 --> 00:36:29,683 - Allkirk's resigned. - Yes, yes, I heard. 739 00:36:29,684 --> 00:36:31,283 Weak little bastard. 740 00:36:31,284 --> 00:36:32,804 There's a vacancy in the house, then. 741 00:36:34,124 --> 00:36:35,523 I want it. 742 00:36:35,524 --> 00:36:38,643 We live just across the road from that seat. 743 00:36:38,644 --> 00:36:41,980 Well, I can certainly put in a good word for you, my love. 744 00:36:44,804 --> 00:36:46,020 Get it for me? 745 00:36:46,964 --> 00:36:50,283 Well, I don't think I have that kind of power anymore, sweetness. 746 00:36:50,860 --> 00:36:52,420 Then find it. 747 00:36:55,484 --> 00:36:56,564 Yes, my love. 748 00:36:57,844 --> 00:36:58,844 Yes. 749 00:37:00,244 --> 00:37:02,923 It's really tricky setting up a press conference. 750 00:37:02,924 --> 00:37:05,763 Let's just learn from this and move on, OK? 751 00:37:05,764 --> 00:37:09,643 Do you realise that there are 18 million acres of forest 752 00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:11,603 - destroyed every year? - What? 753 00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:14,723 That is how much forest is destroyed every year. 754 00:37:14,724 --> 00:37:19,363 The Gossnard net-winged beetle is on the endangered list now. 755 00:37:19,364 --> 00:37:20,524 Right. 756 00:37:20,525 --> 00:37:23,163 Not to forget the wartbiter cricket. Almost extinct. 757 00:37:23,164 --> 00:37:24,884 (BABY CRIES) 758 00:37:29,204 --> 00:37:31,203 I need every paper, bill, 759 00:37:31,204 --> 00:37:34,923 amendment and thought bubble we have on the government's environment 760 00:37:34,924 --> 00:37:36,923 policies and our take on them. 761 00:37:36,924 --> 00:37:39,123 You have none. You haven't read them and... 762 00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:40,763 I will, I will, I will. 763 00:37:40,764 --> 00:37:42,283 OK. OK. 764 00:37:42,284 --> 00:37:43,603 Here you go. 765 00:37:43,604 --> 00:37:45,140 Oh, fuck, this is all... 766 00:37:45,884 --> 00:37:47,084 Here we go. 767 00:37:49,124 --> 00:37:51,083 Oh, fuck. OK, alright. 768 00:37:51,084 --> 00:37:52,363 Here's... Here's a better idea. 769 00:37:52,364 --> 00:37:56,083 You read those and summarise them and get back to me please, quickly. 770 00:37:56,084 --> 00:37:57,084 How is that better? 771 00:37:57,085 --> 00:38:01,283 And everything we can find out about a Li Ming Wu, 772 00:38:01,284 --> 00:38:02,764 please, by lunchtime. 773 00:38:03,844 --> 00:38:08,163 If she is your lunch date, Cleaver, you are wasting your time. 774 00:38:08,164 --> 00:38:09,883 I mean, she's... 775 00:38:09,884 --> 00:38:12,883 She is so far out of your orbit you could not locate her 776 00:38:12,884 --> 00:38:14,004 with the Hubble telescope. 777 00:38:14,005 --> 00:38:15,844 I mean, does she know who you are? 778 00:38:19,620 --> 00:38:23,083 And if you wouldn't mind having a look at my Wikipedia entry, please, 779 00:38:23,084 --> 00:38:26,163 and changing the bit about my jail term. 780 00:38:26,164 --> 00:38:27,164 Thank you. 781 00:38:34,884 --> 00:38:38,203 Overlooking the fact that I detest every facet of you, 782 00:38:38,204 --> 00:38:40,883 we need to form an alliance and bring down Potter. 783 00:38:40,884 --> 00:38:45,963 Humans release 37 billion tonnes of carbon dioxide every year. 784 00:38:45,964 --> 00:38:48,523 You'd have to think a lot of that is coming from you, isn't it? 785 00:38:48,524 --> 00:38:49,803 Are you hearing me? 786 00:38:49,804 --> 00:38:53,563 It's the highest level for over 650,000 years and now 787 00:38:53,564 --> 00:38:55,923 there is over a million species facing extinction. 788 00:38:55,924 --> 00:38:57,124 I knew it was bad... 789 00:38:57,125 --> 00:39:00,163 If we form an alliance we can own this story, 790 00:39:00,164 --> 00:39:03,043 which right now is the biggest story in town. 791 00:39:03,044 --> 00:39:06,843 Or I can pursue my defamation case against you with vigour 792 00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,140 and you'll be destroyed. 793 00:39:09,524 --> 00:39:14,324 You know, Penny, I do so miss the old courtroom. 794 00:39:24,644 --> 00:39:28,163 - So what are we going to do? - That Greene, Potter was right. 795 00:39:28,164 --> 00:39:30,243 Noyce is trying to offload his company ASAP 796 00:39:30,244 --> 00:39:32,363 and he papered a few palms to ease the passage. 797 00:39:32,364 --> 00:39:34,940 He will never stand between Sellick and a $5 note. 798 00:39:35,924 --> 00:39:37,883 So why is old man Noyce trying to ditch his company? 799 00:39:37,884 --> 00:39:40,123 I have got no idea. We're still looking into it. 800 00:39:40,124 --> 00:39:42,083 Peking duck with chestnuts and chilli. 801 00:39:42,084 --> 00:39:43,483 What about that fucking munchkin? 802 00:39:43,484 --> 00:39:45,003 I mean... 803 00:39:45,004 --> 00:39:46,643 - Crab, Szechuan style. - He's resigned. 804 00:39:46,644 --> 00:39:49,163 - What's that about? - Yeah, well, 805 00:39:49,164 --> 00:39:52,283 stuck at the intelligence than the moral integrity not to resign. 806 00:39:52,284 --> 00:39:54,123 - Until they convict him. - Yeah. 807 00:39:54,124 --> 00:39:55,603 Wagyu steak in oyster sauce. 808 00:39:55,604 --> 00:39:56,604 Just dump it, pal. 809 00:39:59,044 --> 00:40:02,523 Look, on the upside, 810 00:40:02,524 --> 00:40:04,323 we now have the chance to Trojan Horse 811 00:40:04,324 --> 00:40:06,523 our own person in that snivelling arsehole seat. 812 00:40:06,524 --> 00:40:07,963 Oh, that's good. 813 00:40:07,964 --> 00:40:09,483 (LAUGHS) That's good. 814 00:40:09,484 --> 00:40:11,523 OK. Names. 815 00:40:11,524 --> 00:40:13,163 Names. Come on. 816 00:40:13,164 --> 00:40:15,803 CAL: What the hell is this? 817 00:40:15,804 --> 00:40:17,047 It's alphabetical. 818 00:40:18,004 --> 00:40:19,723 Well, I'm going to change my name to Aardvark 819 00:40:19,724 --> 00:40:21,683 before I let her come before me. 820 00:40:21,684 --> 00:40:24,283 Oh. It seems more balanced, don't you think? 821 00:40:24,284 --> 00:40:26,243 Balanced is not what this show's about. 822 00:40:26,244 --> 00:40:29,403 Balanced is the very issue that we fight against. 823 00:40:29,404 --> 00:40:33,763 Tough, unrelenting, hard hitting, honest and completely biased. 824 00:40:33,764 --> 00:40:35,283 That's what this show stands for. 825 00:40:35,284 --> 00:40:38,323 I'm not so sure the public sees you that way anymore, Cal. 826 00:40:38,324 --> 00:40:39,723 What? 827 00:40:39,724 --> 00:40:41,004 You seem weaker. 828 00:40:42,164 --> 00:40:44,163 Soft. You're softer. 829 00:40:44,164 --> 00:40:49,803 But as always, if you're not 100% happy, I'm very happy to change it. 830 00:40:49,804 --> 00:40:52,283 I'm not even 2% happy. 831 00:40:52,284 --> 00:40:53,523 Change it. 832 00:40:53,524 --> 00:40:54,763 - On to it. - Hmm. 833 00:40:54,764 --> 00:40:55,804 (PHONE CHIMES) 834 00:40:59,724 --> 00:41:01,084 - Carry on. - Who is this? 835 00:41:04,884 --> 00:41:06,443 Right. Sure. 836 00:41:06,444 --> 00:41:07,660 Where? 837 00:41:36,204 --> 00:41:37,204 Hi. 838 00:41:37,205 --> 00:41:39,083 I need you to get on one of your magical apps 839 00:41:39,084 --> 00:41:41,404 and tell me what this piece of music is called. 840 00:41:48,084 --> 00:41:49,883 - Do you have a reservation? - Get out! 841 00:41:49,884 --> 00:41:52,403 You're not welcome. You exposed yourself to my boys. 842 00:41:52,404 --> 00:41:54,003 Look, I explained about that. 843 00:41:54,004 --> 00:41:57,003 That was just talking to them about their basketball habits. 844 00:41:57,004 --> 00:42:00,243 With no trousers and your penis for all the world to see? 845 00:42:00,244 --> 00:42:02,323 - Penis! You're... - Shame! 846 00:42:02,324 --> 00:42:03,923 I am so sorry. 847 00:42:03,924 --> 00:42:05,084 I didn't see you come in. 848 00:42:05,085 --> 00:42:07,923 I am a tragic failed musician. 849 00:42:07,924 --> 00:42:09,283 This man is with you? 850 00:42:09,284 --> 00:42:11,443 - Yes. He is. - Seriously? 851 00:42:11,444 --> 00:42:13,483 - Yes. - This man? 852 00:42:13,484 --> 00:42:14,843 - Yes. - Oh, yes. 853 00:42:14,844 --> 00:42:15,844 Oh, yeah. 854 00:42:21,284 --> 00:42:23,523 Who let that pretzel in? 855 00:42:23,524 --> 00:42:26,244 - Jesus! And with her? - Thank you. 856 00:42:27,684 --> 00:42:30,923 I can't walk past a piano without wanting to play something. 857 00:42:30,924 --> 00:42:32,363 - Me too. - Oh. 858 00:42:32,364 --> 00:42:33,844 (BOTH LAUGH) 859 00:42:34,924 --> 00:42:40,803 And that was the Schubert Impromptu no less. 860 00:42:40,804 --> 00:42:42,803 Number 3G flat major... 861 00:42:42,804 --> 00:42:44,083 - Major. - Am I right? 862 00:42:44,084 --> 00:42:46,563 - You play? - I tinkle. I tinkle. 863 00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:48,923 We must play together after our meal. 864 00:42:48,924 --> 00:42:54,363 I broke this, um, in a tennis incident. 865 00:42:54,364 --> 00:42:55,883 - Oh, dear. - Yeah. 866 00:42:55,884 --> 00:42:57,084 Oh, tennis. 867 00:42:57,085 --> 00:43:00,883 I dreamed of being a professional, but science got hold of me. 868 00:43:00,884 --> 00:43:03,124 Tell me, what other instruments do you play? 869 00:43:04,404 --> 00:43:07,243 Mainly the flugelhorn. 870 00:43:07,244 --> 00:43:08,563 Oh. 871 00:43:08,564 --> 00:43:11,243 I know only strings and keyboards 872 00:43:11,244 --> 00:43:14,443 and I am trying to so hard to learn the saxophone but, oh. 873 00:43:14,444 --> 00:43:16,004 Yeah. It's... 874 00:43:17,604 --> 00:43:19,243 So many instruments. 875 00:43:19,244 --> 00:43:21,923 Well, there are only so many hours in a day. 876 00:43:21,924 --> 00:43:24,483 I never understand how people are so happy to waste them. 877 00:43:24,484 --> 00:43:25,564 Mmm. 878 00:43:25,565 --> 00:43:28,203 You know, music makes me believe 879 00:43:28,204 --> 00:43:30,283 that the world can still be a beautiful place. 880 00:43:30,284 --> 00:43:32,723 We are capable of such exquisite beauty, 881 00:43:32,724 --> 00:43:36,444 but everywhere we are reduced to the petty and venal. 882 00:43:37,644 --> 00:43:39,363 The lot of man. 883 00:43:39,364 --> 00:43:42,243 I was in Burkina Faso two weeks ago. 884 00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:44,883 What man has done to man. 885 00:43:44,884 --> 00:43:50,963 Burkina Faso has a green and gold flag with some red on it? 886 00:43:50,964 --> 00:43:52,923 So, have you been there? 887 00:43:52,924 --> 00:43:54,124 - Burkina Faso? - Mmm. 888 00:43:54,125 --> 00:43:57,804 It's... Oh, landlocked. 889 00:44:00,004 --> 00:44:01,164 - Gold. - Mmm. 890 00:44:02,764 --> 00:44:04,323 The French influence, of course. 891 00:44:04,324 --> 00:44:09,003 Yes. And poverty that drives people into dust. 892 00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:11,123 Should we order something to eat? 893 00:44:11,124 --> 00:44:12,684 Absolutely. 894 00:44:30,244 --> 00:44:32,043 Well! 895 00:44:32,044 --> 00:44:34,403 Our new Prime Minister. 896 00:44:34,404 --> 00:44:38,283 - Should I curtsy? - No formalities here, Cal. 897 00:44:38,284 --> 00:44:39,963 - No time. - Ah. 898 00:44:39,964 --> 00:44:42,923 - Been a few years. - It has, Roy. 899 00:44:42,924 --> 00:44:45,844 Last time was when you voted me off the state executive. 900 00:44:46,884 --> 00:44:48,603 Well, some blood's passed under that bridge 901 00:44:48,604 --> 00:44:50,564 and lots of regrets have flown with it. 902 00:44:52,444 --> 00:44:54,203 I suppose you know what this is about? 903 00:44:54,204 --> 00:44:56,003 Oh, what? Your shipwreck? 904 00:44:56,004 --> 00:44:59,203 Two days in office. Noyce Industries. 905 00:44:59,204 --> 00:45:01,123 Two senators clinging to the wreckage. 906 00:45:01,124 --> 00:45:02,763 At least one rep's vacancy to fill. 907 00:45:02,764 --> 00:45:04,403 I mean, I'm just guessing, of course, mate. 908 00:45:04,404 --> 00:45:06,323 If it hadn't have been for Evans and Greene and Potter, 909 00:45:06,324 --> 00:45:07,860 this thing would have sailed through. 910 00:45:08,924 --> 00:45:11,444 I hope you didn't have any shares in the company? 911 00:45:14,244 --> 00:45:16,603 I need to fill Allkirk's rep seat, 912 00:45:16,604 --> 00:45:19,123 tout suite, before this thing haemorrhages any further. 913 00:45:19,124 --> 00:45:21,083 Well, could I suggest my wife? 914 00:45:21,084 --> 00:45:22,563 Jane? Jane Green? 915 00:45:22,564 --> 00:45:24,243 (LAUGHS) God, no. Sorry. 916 00:45:24,244 --> 00:45:26,003 Right. 917 00:45:26,004 --> 00:45:27,683 - Well, who then? - Well, you. 918 00:45:27,684 --> 00:45:28,804 I want you! 919 00:45:28,805 --> 00:45:30,843 I know we have history. 920 00:45:30,844 --> 00:45:32,803 Two years ago I would have had nothing to do with you, 921 00:45:32,804 --> 00:45:36,963 but this new gentler, user-friendly Cal we're seeing on our screens, 922 00:45:36,964 --> 00:45:40,444 it's exactly what this party's crying out for. 923 00:45:41,404 --> 00:45:43,203 Right. Well... 924 00:45:43,204 --> 00:45:44,923 Married life has softened me, mate. 925 00:45:44,924 --> 00:45:47,483 I know you'll take a drop, a major drop financially. 926 00:45:47,484 --> 00:45:49,523 But if you agree to this position, 927 00:45:49,524 --> 00:45:51,364 I'll make you a minister straight off. 928 00:45:52,404 --> 00:45:53,404 A minister? 929 00:45:54,524 --> 00:45:55,924 - Doing what? - I don't know. 930 00:45:57,044 --> 00:45:58,323 I'll do a reshuffle. 931 00:45:58,324 --> 00:46:02,140 It will guarantee me two full terms as leader. 932 00:46:02,724 --> 00:46:06,043 After that, how does Cal McGregor PM sound? 933 00:46:06,044 --> 00:46:09,843 Because I have to say, it plays out OK in the party room. 934 00:46:09,844 --> 00:46:12,043 Oh. 935 00:46:12,044 --> 00:46:14,723 Have you talked to my half-brother about this? 936 00:46:14,724 --> 00:46:17,883 No. The Coalition's full of head kickers and flat earthers. 937 00:46:17,884 --> 00:46:21,923 I want to demonstrate a warmer, vulnerable side to the public. 938 00:46:21,924 --> 00:46:25,604 You are that man to help me. 939 00:46:28,084 --> 00:46:32,723 I need to know the total CO2 output of coal fire reactors in the 1960s. 940 00:46:32,724 --> 00:46:34,243 Actually, do you know what? Forget it. 941 00:46:34,244 --> 00:46:35,924 I'm going to wing it. Bye. 942 00:46:38,204 --> 00:46:43,723 Sorry. Some stupid standing committee on clean coal generators. 943 00:46:43,724 --> 00:46:45,780 (LAUGHS) No such thing. 944 00:46:46,444 --> 00:46:49,683 Which is why I keep saying wind and sun. 945 00:46:49,684 --> 00:46:51,923 - Wind and sun. - Wind? 946 00:46:51,924 --> 00:46:55,403 Really? Isn't that far too unreliable for baseload? 947 00:46:55,404 --> 00:46:56,723 Yes. Ah... 948 00:46:56,724 --> 00:46:58,643 Yeah. But the sun's great. 949 00:46:58,644 --> 00:47:01,363 Well, the production of batteries and solar cells is proving a massive 950 00:47:01,364 --> 00:47:03,323 environmental challenge. 951 00:47:03,324 --> 00:47:06,843 Yeah. I mean, anything's better than nuclear, though. 952 00:47:06,844 --> 00:47:07,924 I don't know. 953 00:47:07,925 --> 00:47:10,763 The two major explosions at nuclear reactors caused 954 00:47:10,764 --> 00:47:14,483 infinitely less death and health damage than coal does every day. 955 00:47:14,484 --> 00:47:16,563 How many times have I made that point? 956 00:47:16,564 --> 00:47:18,563 The problem is waste. 957 00:47:18,564 --> 00:47:20,763 As I keep stressing. 958 00:47:20,764 --> 00:47:25,083 If they can get its half-life down to 250 years, not 250,000, 959 00:47:25,084 --> 00:47:27,243 one might think about it differently. 960 00:47:27,244 --> 00:47:33,083 Weirdly, I have just delivered a paper on precisely that point. 961 00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:34,204 What I don't understand 962 00:47:34,205 --> 00:47:38,043 is why does this government refuse to engage with these problems? 963 00:47:38,044 --> 00:47:39,244 Why? 964 00:47:39,245 --> 00:47:44,244 Your concerns here seem so trivial when the problems are so great. 965 00:47:46,004 --> 00:47:47,004 Mmm. 966 00:47:49,524 --> 00:47:52,563 Are you sure you can't find another hour or so? 967 00:47:52,564 --> 00:47:56,003 It is not often I spend time with someone who shares my passions. 968 00:47:56,004 --> 00:47:58,003 - I'm afraid not. - Oh. 969 00:47:58,004 --> 00:48:00,643 My assistant was right. 970 00:48:01,220 --> 00:48:03,483 Not even with the Hubble telescope. 971 00:48:03,484 --> 00:48:04,684 Sorry? 972 00:48:06,420 --> 00:48:08,043 Do you want to know 973 00:48:08,044 --> 00:48:10,523 what I have been campaigning for in the Senate? 974 00:48:10,524 --> 00:48:14,523 Do you want to know what's been occupying my days? 975 00:48:14,524 --> 00:48:15,524 Tell me. 976 00:48:18,324 --> 00:48:19,324 Never mind. 977 00:48:19,324 --> 00:48:20,324 (LAUGHS) 978 00:48:27,964 --> 00:48:30,923 I learnt the flugelhorn for three weeks 979 00:48:30,924 --> 00:48:34,284 and then I stomped on the bloody thing. 980 00:48:40,204 --> 00:48:42,004 You can go. 981 00:48:49,124 --> 00:48:50,260 To the house? 982 00:48:51,444 --> 00:48:52,923 Oh, yeah. 983 00:48:52,924 --> 00:48:57,843 Later tonight you might receive a call from someone called Mohamed. 984 00:48:57,844 --> 00:49:01,820 He's with a breakaway faction of the drivers. 985 00:49:04,844 --> 00:49:06,923 Don't listen to him. 986 00:49:07,420 --> 00:49:09,323 Actually, do you know what? 987 00:49:09,324 --> 00:49:11,923 Change of plans. I don't want to go to the house. 988 00:49:11,924 --> 00:49:14,484 And I don't want to go home. 989 00:49:39,684 --> 00:49:41,564 Can I give you a hand there? 990 00:49:42,684 --> 00:49:44,283 Oh. Thank you. 991 00:49:44,284 --> 00:49:46,123 - What... - Thompson. 992 00:49:46,124 --> 00:49:47,683 - Thompson? - Up the top, there. 993 00:49:47,684 --> 00:49:48,844 Oh, yep. 994 00:49:52,964 --> 00:49:55,963 - They don't make it easy, do they? - No. 995 00:49:55,964 --> 00:49:58,924 - There we go. - Thank you. 996 00:50:02,164 --> 00:50:04,683 Maybe we should just go around the block one more time. 997 00:50:04,684 --> 00:50:05,884 It won't help, Cal. 998 00:50:05,885 --> 00:50:07,643 We have driven around 12 times already. 999 00:50:07,644 --> 00:50:08,684 Yes. 1000 00:50:08,685 --> 00:50:10,283 Just go in there and tell her the truth. 1001 00:50:10,284 --> 00:50:12,698 Yes. Yes. Just... Straight up. 1002 00:50:12,699 --> 00:50:13,963 - Straight up. - Straight up. 1003 00:50:13,964 --> 00:50:15,563 Walk in there and tell her how it is. 1004 00:50:15,564 --> 00:50:17,723 Yes! Yes. 1005 00:50:17,724 --> 00:50:19,043 And how is it? 1006 00:50:19,044 --> 00:50:21,643 You fought for her with everything you had 1007 00:50:21,644 --> 00:50:24,723 but they wanted you because of your wider political experience. 1008 00:50:24,724 --> 00:50:27,244 Yes! My wide experience. 1009 00:50:28,404 --> 00:50:30,323 - And then what? - Then you objected. 1010 00:50:30,324 --> 00:50:31,803 I objected. I objected! 1011 00:50:31,804 --> 00:50:34,603 And... And then I threatened them, and then... 1012 00:50:34,604 --> 00:50:36,003 You tell her that... 1013 00:50:36,004 --> 00:50:40,843 I tell her that... once inside Parliament I will work tirelessly... 1014 00:50:40,844 --> 00:50:42,363 - Around the clock. - Bugger! 1015 00:50:42,364 --> 00:50:45,420 Around the clock to make sure that she is elected. 1016 00:50:46,204 --> 00:50:47,963 - You can do it. - I can do it, mate. 1017 00:50:47,964 --> 00:50:49,284 I'm Cal McGregor! 1018 00:50:56,644 --> 00:50:59,004 Darling? I'm home, pet. 1019 00:51:00,164 --> 00:51:02,284 (CHEWS) 1020 00:51:08,164 --> 00:51:09,563 Drive! 1021 00:51:09,564 --> 00:51:11,763 Drive very quickly away. 1022 00:51:11,764 --> 00:51:12,964 Drive! 1023 00:51:15,844 --> 00:51:18,363 So, Andy did some digging and he found out 1024 00:51:18,364 --> 00:51:19,843 that the Noyces had to sell in a hurry 1025 00:51:19,844 --> 00:51:22,803 because sadly old man Noyce had a brain tumour. 1026 00:51:22,804 --> 00:51:24,683 I really don't give a shit. 1027 00:51:24,684 --> 00:51:26,363 That idiot almost cost us the Government. 1028 00:51:26,364 --> 00:51:30,643 Charming. So now you ask me what they think caused the tumour. 1029 00:51:30,644 --> 00:51:33,443 - What? - The green stripe. 1030 00:51:33,444 --> 00:51:35,563 No bloody way. 1031 00:51:35,564 --> 00:51:37,483 Yeah. As filthy as an unwiped arsehole. 1032 00:51:37,484 --> 00:51:39,203 As toxic as a uranium mudslide. 1033 00:51:39,204 --> 00:51:40,803 You know who found out about it? 1034 00:51:40,804 --> 00:51:43,763 The fucking Beijing health authorities. 1035 00:51:43,764 --> 00:51:46,163 Apparently the green stripes are a mixture 1036 00:51:46,164 --> 00:51:49,603 of some petroleum by-products and a Brazilian insecticide. 1037 00:51:49,604 --> 00:51:52,283 The insecticide gives a flavour, the petroleum the colour. 1038 00:51:52,284 --> 00:51:54,523 - So what's in the yellow stripe? - We're still looking into that. 1039 00:51:54,524 --> 00:51:55,604 But this is the point, 1040 00:51:55,605 --> 00:51:58,043 here is this company sitting on a litigation time bomb. 1041 00:51:58,044 --> 00:51:59,244 They have to sell up quick, 1042 00:51:59,245 --> 00:52:02,083 flee town before the shit hits the fast-rotating blades. 1043 00:52:02,084 --> 00:52:04,867 The question for us is this, 1044 00:52:04,868 --> 00:52:08,043 were Sellick and Wells aware of this health report? 1045 00:52:08,044 --> 00:52:10,723 Of course the fuck they were. I mean, they're dead men walking. 1046 00:52:10,724 --> 00:52:13,204 The only upside is my half-brother had shares in them. 1047 00:52:14,604 --> 00:52:18,563 Do you know who Webster just appointed to fill Allkirk's seat? 1048 00:52:18,564 --> 00:52:21,243 No-one. Because I haven't told them who I want in there yet. 1049 00:52:21,244 --> 00:52:22,564 Um... 1050 00:52:24,004 --> 00:52:25,803 He's just announced it. 1051 00:52:25,804 --> 00:52:28,443 It's your half-brother, Cal McGregor. 1052 00:52:28,444 --> 00:52:31,723 (SCREAMS) 1053 00:52:31,724 --> 00:52:35,441 - Is it true? Is it fucking true? - What? 1054 00:52:35,442 --> 00:52:40,203 That mealy-mouthed prolapsed arsehole I made PM, hey, 1055 00:52:40,204 --> 00:52:43,363 naively thinking that he was just a useless puff of fart wind 1056 00:52:43,364 --> 00:52:45,523 who would do as he was fucking told 1057 00:52:45,524 --> 00:52:49,700 has offered my fucking half-brother Allkirk's seat?! 1058 00:52:50,804 --> 00:52:52,483 You! 1059 00:52:52,484 --> 00:52:54,780 Confess! Huh? 1060 00:52:55,404 --> 00:52:56,564 Has he announced it? 1061 00:52:59,044 --> 00:53:01,324 OK. OK. 1062 00:53:03,204 --> 00:53:04,444 This is good news. 1063 00:53:06,364 --> 00:53:09,243 What is the shortest ever term for an Australian prime minister? 1064 00:53:09,244 --> 00:53:11,243 Frank Forde. Eight days. 1065 00:53:11,244 --> 00:53:13,083 I reckon we can better that. 1066 00:53:13,084 --> 00:53:15,643 (APPLAUSE) 1067 00:53:15,644 --> 00:53:18,563 (LAUGHS) Hey. G'day, mate. 1068 00:53:18,564 --> 00:53:20,243 I am humbled... 1069 00:53:20,244 --> 00:53:26,523 Do you ever feel like you're on some far-flung asteroid 1070 00:53:26,524 --> 00:53:28,603 and looking down through the Hubble telescope 1071 00:53:28,604 --> 00:53:31,443 and you see yourself as you really are? 1072 00:53:31,444 --> 00:53:36,123 Some infinitesimal speck of dust 1073 00:53:36,124 --> 00:53:40,923 stuck to a ball spinning in the middle of infinity? 1074 00:53:40,924 --> 00:53:43,164 (BABY COUGHS) 1075 00:53:47,924 --> 00:53:52,443 And you're this tiny, tiny thing. 1076 00:53:52,444 --> 00:53:56,420 Sans purpose, sans consequence. 1077 00:53:57,844 --> 00:54:02,003 Stuck in the aspic of eternity 1078 00:54:02,004 --> 00:54:08,500 with no more import than the fossilised turds of a woodlouse. 1079 00:54:10,084 --> 00:54:12,044 Ever have those days? 1080 00:54:22,404 --> 00:54:27,243 (LAUGHS) Gee! I reckon that just deserves an Oz Ripple. 1081 00:54:27,244 --> 00:54:29,683 I reckon I could rip into a Ripple myself. 1082 00:54:29,684 --> 00:54:32,403 ? Oz Ripple, Oz Ripple ? 1083 00:54:32,404 --> 00:54:34,083 ? It's a fair dinkum Oz Ripple... ? 1084 00:54:34,084 --> 00:54:36,043 What do you reckon about that, mate? 1085 00:54:36,044 --> 00:54:37,963 I love Oz Ripples. 1086 00:54:37,964 --> 00:54:40,723 ? It's a fair dinkum Oz Ripple ? 1087 00:54:40,724 --> 00:54:44,020 ? It's a fair dinkum Oz Ripple. ? 1088 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:58,523 I'm Cal McGregor. I am Cal McGregor. 1089 00:54:58,524 --> 00:55:00,363 At 9:30 this morning 1090 00:55:00,364 --> 00:55:03,963 I became leader of the Federal Parliamentary Liberal Party. 1091 00:55:03,964 --> 00:55:07,283 You have let this fucking Trojan Horse into our party room. 1092 00:55:07,284 --> 00:55:09,203 Come on, mate! Get it in there! 1093 00:55:09,204 --> 00:55:10,723 Get it in there! Yes! 1094 00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,323 Would you ever consider taking me on as a client? 1095 00:55:14,324 --> 00:55:16,403 Fuck it! I'm finished. 1096 00:55:16,404 --> 00:55:17,923 What? Nicole! 1097 00:55:17,924 --> 00:55:19,124 Nicole! 1098 00:55:19,125 --> 00:55:21,163 - (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) - (SCREAMS) He's got a gun! 1099 00:55:21,164 --> 00:55:22,763 That's a gun! That's a fucking gun. 1100 00:55:22,764 --> 00:55:24,244 - (YELLS) - Ouch! 1101 00:55:24,294 --> 00:55:28,844 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 84319

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