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1
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:06,300
Cleaver!
2
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:10,780
Ed?
3
00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:14,180
To Scarlet, the first
great love of my life.
4
00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:18,060
I only hope that David
will treat you well.
5
00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:19,980
Rake!
6
00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:24,220
As you know, Mr Thompson is
wanted on 126 separate charges,
7
00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:27,380
ranging form murder to drug
dealing, weapons smuggling,
8
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,860
extortion and bribing public officials.
9
00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:35,140
Everything on that phone went
viral, except any mention of me.
10
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,100
I need you to get me bail, Cleaver.
11
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:40,940
Probably fairly brief life
behind bars if I don't cooperate
12
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,140
and certain death if I do.
13
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:44,780
"The night is shattered
14
00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:48,220
"The blue stars shiver in the distance..."
15
00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:49,620
Oh, shit.
16
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:51,620
- Drive!
- Where?
17
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:53,620
Just drive! Drive, drive.
18
00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:40,380
Now thank we all our God
19
00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:46,620
With hearts and hands and voices
20
00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:51,780
Who wondrous things hath done
21
00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:57,540
In whom His world rejoices
22
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:02,220
Who from our mothers' arms
23
00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:06,740
Hath blest us on our way...
24
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:09,500
I know one of them's... one of
them's all the wet, isn't it?
25
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:10,540
Yes, that's right.
26
00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:12,100
The other one's this
one, whatever that is.
27
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,380
- Lovely sermon, Stanley.
- Oh, thank you Lorraine.
28
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:17,140
Murray, how are you?
29
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,220
Oh, tickety-boo, thanks, Lorraine.
30
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:21,420
How's the book coming along, Murray?
31
00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:22,420
Oh well it's...
32
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,300
You know, some days are
more productive than others,
33
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:28,900
but that's... that's the
life of a writer, Charles.
34
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:31,500
I heard it was a murder mystery.
35
00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,900
Ooh, I love a good murder mystery.
36
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,420
You were a lawyer, weren't you, Murray?
37
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:39,860
Oh, well, I was a garden
variety suburban conveyancer.
38
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,900
There's not much murder
around in my field.
39
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,700
Look, my sister's selling a place.
She's looking for a solicitor.
40
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:49,140
- Maybe I could mention you...
- Very kind, Stan, but I'm...
41
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:53,220
I'm actually really trying to
focus on the book at the moment.
42
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:56,660
I've got to be very mono-focus.
43
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:59,740
Oh, a very serious matter, writing a book.
44
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:01,260
Bye-bye, Murray!
45
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:04,260
Cheerio, Doreen!
46
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:13,820
Hello, Murray.
47
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:17,020
Good morning, Sylvia.
48
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,700
Fuck me.
49
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,740
She's gorgeous!
50
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,300
Check this one out.
51
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,780
Not that one, not that one,
not that one, not that one.
52
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,660
How pretty is she in that bonnet?
53
00:05:16,860 --> 00:05:18,300
How old is she now, Tons?
54
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:20,500
Four weeks. She's a good girl.
55
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:23,220
She gets a little yappy at night, but.
56
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:25,900
And that dick Brian from across
the road starts going spastic.
57
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,180
Yeah, Brian's an arsehole.
58
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:29,940
So then I bring her inside and Denis
says he doesn't want her on the bed.
59
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,340
The bugger didn't really want a
dog in the first place, you know.
60
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,500
So I said to him, "Until Kimmy
can sleep with both of us,
61
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:37,060
"you're not gettin' any, pal."
62
00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:39,860
Next night, Kimmy's up on the bed
with us, watching Miss Fisher.
63
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:46,780
What a story! It's got everything.
64
00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:49,900
It's the feelgood story of our time.
65
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:54,500
And the ending, when the three
of you are on the bed together...
66
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:56,260
.. it's...
67
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:59,260
And what's amazing is even though
68
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:03,620
I've only been waiting here for 10
minutes, it feels like two hours,
69
00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:05,740
and that's the magic of your storytelling.
70
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,300
That's your great gift.
71
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:08,940
Every time you open your mouth,
72
00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:13,460
it feels like time expands, infinitely.
73
00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:16,060
And it makes me think of
Denis and how lucky he is,
74
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:18,460
because after 15 years of marriage to you
75
00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:22,580
he must feel like he
has lived for centuries!
76
00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:27,140
He must feel like he
has been alive forever!
77
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:32,100
- Mustn't keep you, Janey.
- That's 42.50, thanks, Tons.
78
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:34,020
Where's my wallet?
79
00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:36,100
Hope I'm not keeping you, Murray.
80
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:39,900
Time is infinite and cares
are short-lived, Tonia.
81
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:42,100
Oh, how lovely.
82
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:46,900
Oh.
83
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,820
Darling, you home?
84
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,100
Fuzz?
85
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:23,860
Who's there?
86
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:28,340
Who's there?
87
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:44,220
Oh, anything but this.
88
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,260
Come on, you bastards.
89
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,380
.. with pedigree ram semen...
90
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:52,740
Or that!
91
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,380
The Bundina River is expected
to peak at six metres
92
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:58,020
following the heavy rain
right up until Friday.
93
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,460
Oh, you sonofabitch!
94
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,260
It was a very moving piece.
95
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:09,100
So, Rose, who's on
Australian Story tonight?
96
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:12,660
Tonight, Mack, we are telling
the story of Barney Meagher.
97
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:14,260
Ah, the balloon hero.
98
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,220
There's an epic journey
if ever there was one.
99
00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:17,860
It's extremely heart-warming.
100
00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:22,180
Barney Meagher found courage on a
day he never expected to find it.
101
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:25,060
It's amazing the way
ordinary people find courage.
102
00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:28,860
Yes, Mack, it is a truly
fascinating story.
103
00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:30,460
I don't want to spoil the...
104
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,820
Oh, come on!
105
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:34,740
Fuck.
106
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:37,340
Come on, you... Come
on, you fucking fucker!
107
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,140
You monumental cock!
108
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:52,060
Oh, yes!
109
00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:54,180
Oh, yeah, you don't like that, do ya?
110
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,820
Oh, yeah, you bastard!
111
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:58,460
Oh, shit.
112
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,100
Oh, shit.
113
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,620
- Doc?
- Hey.
114
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:08,820
Hello? Doc... Doc, don't hang up.
115
00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:10,820
- Don't hang up! I got ya.
- Hello?
116
00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:12,300
I got ya.
117
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,460
Don't hang...
118
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:18,180
Don't hang up. Hello?
119
00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:21,180
- Hello?
- Hello, hello!
120
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,380
Yes? Yes?
121
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:24,380
Hi. Murray, how are you?
122
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:28,220
Yes, I am officially
going fucking stir crazy.
123
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,580
I just committed radiocide.
124
00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:32,060
What's up?
125
00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:33,980
- We had another break-in.
- Oh, God.
126
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,700
Did they leave another note?
127
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:38,420
No, I think it was just Ed's way
of saying, "I'm thinking of you."
128
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,460
But there was another lawyer
found hanging in an attic.
129
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:43,940
Fuck!
130
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:45,940
OK, Wendy, can you just
get yourself in a car
131
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:49,900
and put Fuzz in the boot if need be
and come up here until it blows over?
132
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:51,380
Cleave... Sorry, Murray,
133
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,500
if they wanted to do something
to us they would have by now.
134
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:54,540
It's been four months.
135
00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:57,540
Yeah, well, I think that's
because Ed always fancied you.
136
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,100
In fact, I know he did.
137
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,220
Hey, did you know that Barney's
138
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:01,700
going to be on Australian Story tonight?
139
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,900
- Yeah, I heard.
- Have you been in touch with him?
140
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,820
Yeah, well once or twice.
141
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,500
I mean, fuck, I'll go mental otherwise.
142
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,820
I only get to speak to you once a week.
143
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,820
OK. Can you tell me that you
haven't done something stupid?
144
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,660
I mean, have you...
145
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:16,980
.. have you done or said anything
that Cleaver would do or say?
146
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:18,860
No. And it's doing my head in.
147
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:23,340
I can't ignore my every
natural instinct much longer.
148
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,180
Are you sure the cops are still a no go?
149
00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:26,220
Yes, I'm sure!
150
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:28,460
It might as well be Ed's private army.
151
00:10:29,780 --> 00:10:31,380
- Doc?
- Hello?
152
00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:32,660
Doc?
153
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:33,780
Hello?
154
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:38,700
Fuck! Oh, Doc! Oh, you piece of fucking...
155
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,820
I'm not here to defend Edgar Thompson.
156
00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:42,740
Last thing I want to do.
157
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:46,700
But I am here to defend
justice, and it's too little...
158
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:54,140
It's just too little.
159
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,020
I'm Cal McGregor
160
00:10:56,220 --> 00:11:00,620
and it's, uh... and it's time to
cross to Scotty for a sports update.
161
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:01,980
And we're out.
162
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,820
Oh, not... not this!
163
00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:26,300
Not this!
164
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:28,620
Oh, fuck!
165
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:42,100
I told you months ago that ute
wouldn't last very long, Murray.
166
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:44,260
I loved it well, but not too wisely.
167
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,140
I'll give you a ride.
168
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,620
How you going, Alli?
169
00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:50,860
Hey.
170
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,180
That's not the problem,
Hilly, and you know it.
171
00:11:57,340 --> 00:11:59,180
The problem is the leaking.
172
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:01,180
OK, let me be crystal clear with you.
173
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:02,580
If a word of this appears online
174
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:04,580
before seven this
evening, you will be fired.
175
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,100
Davey.
176
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,380
Davey? Since when Davey?
177
00:12:12,580 --> 00:12:15,780
I saw you in the House today,
mate. Strong bloody stuff.
178
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:18,820
Poor old Ed Thompson must
be shaking in his boots.
179
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,500
They send you to warn me off?
180
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:22,660
Well, I volunteered.
181
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:23,860
Now, I know you won't believe this,
182
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,380
but I've got a soft spot for you, Davey.
183
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:27,500
I think you're a lame duck
184
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,900
and you're about as interesting
as dinner with the ex-in-laws,
185
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,020
but I do admire your pointless tenacity.
186
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:35,540
So, stop attacking Ed Thompson.
187
00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:38,180
- It will not end well.
- How do you know?
188
00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:40,740
Because nothing involving
Thommo ends well.
189
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:43,620
This entire process has been a farce.
190
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:46,300
Three judges have recused themselves
from hearing Thompson's trial.
191
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,660
Your mate Casswell has seen to it
192
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,660
there's been no progress
in this case whatsoever.
193
00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:51,860
Hey! Your blokes aren't all cleanskins.
194
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:54,180
If that's true, they won't
be MPs for much longer.
195
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,700
I am not fucking around here, Davey.
196
00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:59,180
Why are you doing this?
197
00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:00,860
Because, as the hangman
said to the client,
198
00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:03,500
I'd rather have my job than yours.
199
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:12,620
I hope tea's alright.
200
00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:15,180
You wouldn't happen to
have something stronger?
201
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:19,380
Uh, no, I'm afraid those
days are long past.
202
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:22,420
Since the cancer, I'm trying to live well.
203
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:25,380
- Mmm. - Although it
mightn't look that way.
204
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:27,420
It looks a lot better
than when Judith's here.
205
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:29,940
Then it's just chaos.
206
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:33,620
She's a real artist. You
haven't met Judith, have you?
207
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:38,140
Uh, no. She's, uh... she's
a friend of a friend.
208
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,340
How's your book coming along?
209
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,820
Oh, you know.
210
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,260
Have you spoken to your kids recently?
211
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:49,660
Ah, yeah, yes, about a week or so ago.
212
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:54,140
The time difference with London's a
real pain in the neck at the moment.
213
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,580
You've got three, right?
214
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:58,580
- Yep.
- What are their names again?
215
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:03,380
Adam, Max and Zoe.
216
00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:05,780
Oh, that's right. You guys Jewish?
217
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,500
No, why?
218
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,860
Well, none of those names sound
necessarily Jewish on their own,
219
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,780
but you put them together
and they sound kinda Jewish.
220
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:17,580
Ah, yeah. No, no Jewishness.
221
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,820
Do you want some?
222
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:25,420
Oh, no, drugs have... never been my thing.
223
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:28,780
Ha, Simon pure and Simon simple, eh?
224
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:31,300
Mm-hm. Pretty much.
225
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:37,460
So, what about the guy your wife
left you for? Is he another lawyer?
226
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:40,060
What's with all the
questions, Sarah Ferguson?
227
00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:41,380
Well, you're a bit of a mystery man.
228
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,780
Everyone's speculating
about 'poor Murray'.
229
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:46,820
Poor Murray? Is that what they call me?
230
00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:48,300
Poor Murray?
231
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:49,820
Well, you know, the cancer and everything.
232
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,860
There's nothing to
speculate about, alright?
233
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:55,220
There's nothing to see here. Very dull.
234
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:58,780
It's just an ordinary suburban story.
235
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,420
Marriage, work, divorce, illness,
236
00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:04,060
breakdown, self-publish a book.
237
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:08,780
- That can't be all there is to you.
- That's all there is.
238
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:11,340
Are you a spy?
239
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:15,060
One of those sleeper cells who's
going to kill us all one night?
240
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:18,500
You really don't strike me
as being in any way suburban.
241
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:34,420
Did you say something about
needing to get back to your dad's?
242
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,020
No? Why?
243
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,580
Do you want to get rid of me?
244
00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:42,060
No, no, I don't want to get rid of you.
245
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:45,180
Hey, I need to pee.
246
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:50,020
- It's outside, right?
- Yeah, there's... there's a trick.
247
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,540
Whistle. For the...
248
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:03,820
I grew up around here. I
know how to deal with snakes.
249
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,540
Shit.
250
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:39,420
Oh, shit!
251
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:40,620
Oh!
252
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,060
- What happened?
- No I just...
253
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:47,580
Oh, I stood up and knocked over
the bloody tea into your...
254
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:51,020
Oh, right on top of your... drugs. Sorry.
255
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:53,820
Oh, that's cool. I've got more.
256
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,020
Do you feel like pizza?
257
00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,580
Tonight, the incredible story
258
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:00,820
of Barney Meagher...
259
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,380
This is all there is.
260
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:05,500
.. the man who survived the
odds in a runaway balloon,
261
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:10,140
who landed a hero and has
taken the world by storm.
262
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,620
That's tonight on Australian Story.
263
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,340
Look, we don't have to watch it.
264
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,060
No, we're watching it.
265
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:19,180
No, I don't want to watch it.
266
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:21,420
- Yeah, right.
- Listen to me.
267
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,700
We're not watching it. I
wish I'd never said yes.
268
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:29,020
Yet somehow you did and I cannot
wait to hear what you have to say.
269
00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:32,700
Look, I thought we were through this.
270
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,700
The last few months have been
fine. They've been good, right?
271
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,020
Oh, we're not watching it.
272
00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:40,500
OK.
273
00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:46,300
I'm sure Scarlet will tape it anyway.
274
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:49,420
Oh, for God's sake, I told you,
275
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:52,980
I spent the better part of
an hour talking about you.
276
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:57,660
Oh, well, let's hope that
the batteries didn't die.
277
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:59,220
You were asked to be in it.
278
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:02,060
You could have been in
it. They wanted you in it.
279
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:04,860
Mama!
280
00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:15,740
That's tonight on Australian Story.
281
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:18,420
Do you like Australian Story?
282
00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:24,380
Oh, no. Oh, no.
283
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:27,060
Actually, I... I find it really, um...
284
00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,940
It makes me cry.
285
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:33,140
Do we have to? I find it really
emotionally manipulative, sort of.
286
00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,980
Murray, it's half an hour.
287
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,940
Please?
288
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:44,860
Oh, God. Do not...
289
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,860
Do not... do it.
290
00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:57,420
Good evening and welcome to
Australian Story. I'm Tony Jones.
291
00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,820
Four months ago, Barney Meagher
was an unknown Sydney lawyer.
292
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:03,540
But then a present of
a hot-air balloon ride
293
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:04,900
changed his life forever.
294
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:08,140
Having staved off near
certain death on two fronts,
295
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,260
Barney became an instant celebrity,
296
00:19:10,460 --> 00:19:14,100
an unlikely media hot spot both
at home and internationally.
297
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,140
In a single moment, his
life changed irrevocably.
298
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,740
This is his story.
299
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,460
Mama, it's on!
300
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:26,220
Well, the three days that Barney
was in the balloon was a nightmare.
301
00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,900
Well, the kids thought
it was cool at first,
302
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,260
but after 24 hours they
were really worried.
303
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:33,220
It was a big relief when he came home.
304
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,100
And he said, "I'm no hero,
305
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,860
"I'm just a man who froze
his arse off in a basket."
306
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,700
Oh, but now he's...
307
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,660
.. well, he's famous.
308
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:44,980
He's written a bestseller.
309
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,900
Doesn't matter what you're
watching now, he seems to be there.
310
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:52,740
But Barney's still basically Barney.
311
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,900
I wasn't into relationships per se,
312
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:59,820
but we still saw a fair bit
of each other over the years.
313
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:03,420
I pretty much fell in love with
her the moment I laid eyes on her.
314
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:07,260
She was the most beautiful
thing that I'd ever seen,
315
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:10,540
but I wasn't in her orbit then.
316
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:15,500
We had mutual friends from
uni... including Cleaver Greene.
317
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:19,540
I was studious. I did well.
318
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:22,540
Cleaver never studied. He did well.
319
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:27,860
We've been working together
ever since we graduated.
320
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:34,060
Just gonna zip out and,
um... strain the potatoes.
321
00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,780
Yeah, a lot of us back then were,
322
00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:51,020
well, how do I put it?
323
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,340
Into ourselves.
324
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,260
- Murray?
- G'day, Barn.
325
00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:58,900
I didn't expect to be
hearing from you, Murray.
326
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:00,580
Ah, mate, I'm just watching
327
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:01,940
your Australian Story on the telly.
328
00:21:02,140 --> 00:21:04,460
Very exciting. It's a ripper, I tell ya.
329
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,460
Yeah, I was... I...
330
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:10,460
.. telling Maria today I was
really looking forward to it.
331
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,300
- Maria?
- Yes, Maria.
332
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:14,740
You... remem... you remember Maria?
333
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:19,380
Ah, yeah, mate, can I call
you back once the show's over?
334
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:21,500
OK great. Thank you, Barney!
335
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,540
Can I have your mum's phone?
336
00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:27,140
.. from all the guys I'd dated.
337
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,620
It's Cleaver.
338
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,380
Mama!
339
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:35,620
Barnyard, what the fuck!
340
00:21:35,780 --> 00:21:37,260
Is this the Australian Story thing?
341
00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:39,220
Yes, it's the Australian Story thing!
342
00:21:39,420 --> 00:21:42,540
Cleave, everyone knows you and
I have been mates for 30 years,
343
00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,100
including Edgar Thompson.
344
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:45,900
So it'd be weird if I didn't mention you.
345
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,660
Mate, it's not the mention.
It's not... It's the photos!
346
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:50,100
Why would you give them photos?
347
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:52,460
Because they asked for them.
Anyway, why wouldn't I?
348
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:55,900
Because 11 out of the 13
people who live in this town
349
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:59,140
are inexplicably addicted to the ABC, OK?
350
00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,140
That's all they ever talk about.
351
00:22:01,340 --> 00:22:05,260
Phryne Fisher's Doctor Blakey
fuckin' Murder bullshit,
352
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,580
and Australian fucking Story.
353
00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:09,260
I'm meant to be in hiding
354
00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:11,380
and they are currently
watching me on the telly.
355
00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:14,740
Oh, right. Oh, sorry.
356
00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:18,620
You are so busy out there
whooping it up with Hamish and Andy
357
00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:23,620
and fuckin' Kyle and Kochie and
Karl and all of your celebrity pals,
358
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:27,420
I can't open a magazine these days
without seeing your mush on it.
359
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:28,860
You've become a whore.
360
00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:32,340
You wanna know why I've
turned into a whore, Cleave?
361
00:22:32,540 --> 00:22:35,020
I didn't want to tell you
this until you were back safe.
362
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:38,700
But three months ago, I got a
bill for the rescue for the balloon
363
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:41,860
from the Australian and
New Zealand navies.
364
00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:44,340
$1.2 million, Cleave.
365
00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:45,420
Jesus.
366
00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:48,380
And that was after negotiating
them down from 1.8!
367
00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:52,100
So I have to promote my book
and make paid appearances
368
00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:53,260
whenever I can.
369
00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:55,940
I honestly look forward to
your safe return, Cleave,
370
00:22:56,140 --> 00:23:00,380
so you can start paying off the
600 grand that is your share.
371
00:23:08,540 --> 00:23:10,980
.. embrace it with passion and joy.
372
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:13,940
Has my stuff about you been on yet?
373
00:23:15,540 --> 00:23:19,100
To Scarlet, the first
great love of my life.
374
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:23,380
I only wish I'd had more
understanding of who we were,
375
00:23:23,540 --> 00:23:24,860
and who we would become.
376
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:29,460
That night you spent with
Cleaver made me want to die.
377
00:23:30,940 --> 00:23:34,140
I only hope... that
David will treat you well
378
00:23:34,340 --> 00:23:37,140
and you find the happiness you deserve.
379
00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:40,740
I honestly thought I was a
goner, but then a few days after
380
00:23:40,940 --> 00:23:44,380
I got home post-balloon, I
went and saw my oncologist
381
00:23:44,540 --> 00:23:46,460
and he did the usual tests
382
00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:51,580
and they came back negative,
as in no traces of cancer.
383
00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:54,500
So, he thought, "Well,
this can't be right,"
384
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:58,780
and he did the tests again
and the same result.
385
00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:02,500
My cancer wasn't in
remission, it was gone.
386
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:05,180
- That's amazing.
- Mmm.
387
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:09,540
This is Adam, this is Zoe and this is Max.
388
00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:12,260
They're your kids' names.
389
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:19,060
The unbelievable coincidence!
390
00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:21,220
- Yes.
- Amazing.
391
00:24:29,540 --> 00:24:31,180
Barney's book, Up, Up and Away...
392
00:24:31,380 --> 00:24:32,780
You sure they didn't play
the bit I said about you
393
00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:33,900
while I was on the phone?
394
00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:36,500
.. is still the nation's
number one bestseller...
395
00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:39,380
Yep.
396
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:42,300
Babe, I have no control over the editing.
397
00:24:42,460 --> 00:24:43,820
Uh-huh.
398
00:24:44,020 --> 00:24:45,740
Look, I will get the
raw footage from them.
399
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:47,460
I will do that first thing.
400
00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,820
They misspelled his name.
401
00:24:51,980 --> 00:24:53,780
What? Whose name?
402
00:24:53,940 --> 00:24:56,500
Ha! Our son's name!
403
00:24:56,700 --> 00:25:01,860
It is not Ian, I-A-N, it is Iain, I-A-I-N.
404
00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:05,500
The only mention of our
child in your little story
405
00:25:05,660 --> 00:25:08,180
was on a card and it was misspelled!
406
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,500
Babe, I filled in a form...
407
00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:12,980
And I am referred to, lovingly, I am sure,
408
00:25:13,140 --> 00:25:14,180
as your 'current partner'.
409
00:25:14,340 --> 00:25:17,220
Babe, you refused to be on the show.
410
00:25:17,420 --> 00:25:20,980
These people need vision, hence
the word 'television', right?
411
00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:25,300
Yeah, I refused to be on the
show because I value our privacy.
412
00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:26,580
Well, you can't have it both ways.
413
00:25:26,780 --> 00:25:29,780
You can't value your privacy
and expect to be a star.
414
00:25:29,940 --> 00:25:32,620
Oh, God. Listen, Barney.
415
00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:34,900
You are not a star.
416
00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:38,380
You sat in a basket.
417
00:25:46,540 --> 00:25:48,900
That, uh...
418
00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:51,780
.. that Barney seemed
like a nice guy, didn't he?
419
00:25:51,940 --> 00:25:53,620
Oh, yeah.
420
00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:59,460
What about that Cleaver...
Cleaver Greene fella?
421
00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:01,900
He seemed like a bit of
a character, didn't he?
422
00:26:02,100 --> 00:26:04,460
From what they said on the show,
he sounded like a total dick.
423
00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:08,420
- Did he?
- Mmm.
424
00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:16,460
You sure you don't want to try some?
425
00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:23,340
Do you think it is medicinal?
426
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,420
I mean, you know how they're talking
about how it's all medicinal?
427
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:28,300
Yeah. Oh, definitely. No doubt about it.
428
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:29,780
- Really?
- Yeah.
429
00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:32,700
Maybe just a little go.
430
00:26:40,260 --> 00:26:42,220
Hey, hey, watch it there, kemosabe.
431
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:47,700
You've gotta learn to walk before
you can run. That's strong stuff.
432
00:27:21,900 --> 00:27:23,620
Ooh! Ah!
433
00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:26,260
Ooh!
434
00:27:26,420 --> 00:27:28,500
I'm Oscar Summons! I'm Oscar Summons.
435
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:31,900
I'm your Greens candidate for the
Senate in the next federal election.
436
00:27:32,060 --> 00:27:33,460
Ah!
437
00:27:43,420 --> 00:27:44,420
What's up?
438
00:27:44,620 --> 00:27:46,500
Didn't you say you had testicular cancer?
439
00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:47,820
Yeah.
440
00:27:47,980 --> 00:27:49,620
There are two balls down there.
441
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:53,580
I thought you'd lost one.
442
00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:57,540
Yes... yes that's... an implant.
443
00:27:57,740 --> 00:28:00,300
- They put in an implant?
- Yeah.
444
00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:03,100
Why? What is that? Is that,
like, a cosmetic thing?
445
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:06,060
- Are you that vain?
- No.
446
00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:08,180
That's...
447
00:28:08,340 --> 00:28:10,580
.. so I can keep my balance.
448
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,380
What?
449
00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:47,340
Melissa! Melissa, how are you
feeling, Melissa? Melissa!
450
00:28:47,540 --> 00:28:50,220
Once the darling of the Sydney social set,
451
00:28:50,380 --> 00:28:52,460
Melissa Partridge returned home today
452
00:28:52,660 --> 00:28:54,660
with her tail firmly between her legs,
453
00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:56,940
deported from the United States
454
00:28:57,140 --> 00:29:01,460
having been discovered in possession
of cocaine outside an LA nightclub.
455
00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:04,460
The former prostitute and
author of two bestsellers
456
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:07,980
has recently been garnering
unwelcome headlines.
457
00:29:08,180 --> 00:29:11,900
She and now ex-boyfriend
Hollywood bad boy Lyle Jeffrey
458
00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:16,580
have recently been observed on
three occasions brawling in public.
459
00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:42,580
Your call could not be connected.
460
00:29:42,780 --> 00:29:45,580
Please check the number and try again.
461
00:29:45,740 --> 00:29:47,460
Your call could not be connected.
462
00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:49,860
Please check the number and try again.
463
00:29:52,460 --> 00:29:55,780
Turn it over.
464
00:29:55,940 --> 00:29:57,660
You need a new battery.
465
00:29:57,820 --> 00:29:58,660
Ohh!
466
00:29:58,860 --> 00:30:00,860
I'll call George. He'll come right out.
467
00:30:01,020 --> 00:30:03,140
OK, maybe I should call George.
468
00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:04,740
Right, of course.
469
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:07,500
Oh, it's just... you know...
470
00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:09,820
Listen, I don't want the world
to know about us either.
471
00:30:10,020 --> 00:30:14,220
My ex is from Mayford. It's like
the Capulets and the Montagues.
472
00:30:14,380 --> 00:30:16,660
I gotta be on my best behaviour.
473
00:30:16,820 --> 00:30:18,060
Or what?
474
00:30:18,260 --> 00:30:21,740
Oh, Neil is into what
he calls counterculture.
475
00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:23,100
- Counterculture?
- Mmm.
476
00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:25,500
What I call getting
pissed and beating me up.
477
00:30:27,340 --> 00:30:28,420
Ahh.
478
00:30:28,580 --> 00:30:29,460
The jealous type.
479
00:30:29,660 --> 00:30:32,900
So... even though he tries to
screw anything with a pulse.
480
00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:34,500
I'm just texting you George's number.
481
00:30:34,660 --> 00:30:35,700
Mm-hm.
482
00:30:37,260 --> 00:30:38,540
There you go.
483
00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:48,140
Well, see ya, Mr Greene.
484
00:30:48,300 --> 00:30:50,060
See ya.
485
00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:57,980
Don't worry, I didn't notice until
you took your glasses off in bed.
486
00:30:59,340 --> 00:31:01,180
I won't tell a soul, promise.
487
00:31:01,340 --> 00:31:03,460
I won't even ask why you're here.
488
00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:06,220
No, but you'll Google
me when you get home.
489
00:31:10,660 --> 00:31:16,660
There's a very, very
bad guy I used to know
490
00:31:16,820 --> 00:31:19,500
who would like to kill me.
491
00:31:41,460 --> 00:31:43,500
Do you remember that thing you used to...
492
00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:45,820
.. you used to do with your belt?
493
00:31:45,980 --> 00:31:48,420
Oh, yeah.
494
00:31:55,900 --> 00:31:58,140
Oh, what the hell?
495
00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:02,780
I've never seen a battery
fried like this before.
496
00:32:02,980 --> 00:32:05,420
Well, they don't make 'em like
they used to, do they, George?
497
00:32:05,620 --> 00:32:08,060
Yes, Murray, yes, yes. I
don't know what's going on.
498
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:11,820
43 years, mate, I've never
seen anything like this.
499
00:32:12,020 --> 00:32:14,900
Well, I guess we'll wait
on the autopsy results.
500
00:32:16,340 --> 00:32:17,700
What's the damage there, mate?
501
00:32:17,860 --> 00:32:20,060
Ah, 245.
502
00:32:20,260 --> 00:32:24,940
245? Holy shit, that seems a bit steep.
503
00:32:25,140 --> 00:32:27,140
So, you see Australian Story last night?
504
00:32:28,460 --> 00:32:30,540
Yeah. Yes.
505
00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:33,260
Bloody amazing, wasn't it?
506
00:32:33,420 --> 00:32:35,780
Yeah, incredible.
507
00:32:35,940 --> 00:32:39,100
So, um, Alli gave you my number?
508
00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:41,380
- Beg your pardon?
- Alli Franklin.
509
00:32:41,580 --> 00:32:42,900
No, I don't know how you got that idea.
510
00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:48,940
No, no. I think I just, um... I
Googled George, mechanic, Mayford.
511
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:50,740
Ah, right. OK.
512
00:32:50,900 --> 00:32:52,260
Why... Why do you ask?
513
00:32:52,460 --> 00:32:56,580
Oh, it's just that Don Schultz
drove by here yesterday
514
00:32:56,740 --> 00:32:58,860
and he said he saw you two chatting.
515
00:32:59,060 --> 00:33:02,100
Did he? Oh, it's a small town, isn't it?
516
00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:04,940
Yeah. Well, he... yes, he did.
517
00:33:05,100 --> 00:33:07,260
Well, I guess she ran you home.
518
00:33:07,460 --> 00:33:09,860
Yeah, she ran me home and then we...
519
00:33:10,060 --> 00:33:15,700
.. we had a cup of tea and then
she... she hit the old frog and toad.
520
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:18,140
- Really?
- Yeah, why?
521
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:20,300
Well, it's just that Suse and I,
522
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:23,220
we went round to her
dad's place last night
523
00:33:23,420 --> 00:33:25,620
and we never saw hide nor hair of her.
524
00:33:25,820 --> 00:33:31,020
Oh, well, when I say cuppa, I
meant... like, the whole pot and,
525
00:33:31,180 --> 00:33:32,740
um... of tea,
526
00:33:32,940 --> 00:33:35,580
and then we had some pizza
and... I don't know,
527
00:33:35,740 --> 00:33:37,660
time just flew by.
528
00:33:37,820 --> 00:33:38,980
Pretty lass, hey?
529
00:33:39,140 --> 00:33:41,140
Is she?
530
00:33:41,340 --> 00:33:43,740
Yeah, I suppose she's...
I mean, she's very...
531
00:33:43,940 --> 00:33:48,060
She's a very pleasant person, and
very strong Christian values.
532
00:33:48,260 --> 00:33:50,700
- Bastard of an ex.
- Yeah, apparently so.
533
00:33:50,900 --> 00:33:54,380
Listen, it's 240? Just take 250,mate.
534
00:33:54,580 --> 00:33:55,620
- We'll call it.
- Alright.
535
00:33:55,820 --> 00:33:56,700
- That's...
- Thank you.
536
00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:57,820
.. all good.
537
00:33:59,260 --> 00:34:01,780
I think about it almost every night.
538
00:34:03,180 --> 00:34:04,460
About what?
539
00:34:04,660 --> 00:34:08,220
The way you used to tie my hands
together with your belt and fuck me.
540
00:34:13,140 --> 00:34:15,740
I don't have a belt with me.
541
00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:18,140
I can get you a belt.
542
00:34:19,740 --> 00:34:22,420
I would love it if you
could get me a belt!
543
00:34:36,020 --> 00:34:38,220
- He's here!
- Hey, comrades.
544
00:34:38,380 --> 00:34:40,380
Thank you.
545
00:34:40,540 --> 00:34:41,780
Thanks.
546
00:34:41,980 --> 00:34:44,020
Look, I don't want to take
up too much of your time.
547
00:34:44,220 --> 00:34:47,980
I know how awful this
part of the process can be.
548
00:34:48,180 --> 00:34:50,300
There was just one or two
things that I'd like to say.
549
00:34:50,460 --> 00:34:52,420
Why should we listen to you?
550
00:34:52,620 --> 00:34:54,700
- Sorry?
- Why should we listen to you?
551
00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:56,380
Would you shut up and let him speak?
552
00:34:56,540 --> 00:34:57,660
Why?
553
00:34:57,860 --> 00:35:01,500
What has he done that confers on
him control of this room, huh?
554
00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:06,780
What insights does he have to give
to us that we don't know already?
555
00:35:06,940 --> 00:35:08,460
How to hire a hot-air balloon?
556
00:35:08,620 --> 00:35:10,420
No, wait, that... that was his pal.
557
00:35:10,620 --> 00:35:15,020
No, he got cancer, he sat in a
basket and then he was rescued
558
00:35:15,180 --> 00:35:16,900
and his cancer disappeared.
559
00:35:17,100 --> 00:35:19,420
Did he find a cure that
the rest of us can use?
560
00:35:19,580 --> 00:35:20,740
Fuck, no.
561
00:35:20,940 --> 00:35:23,380
Is this what we're looking
to for salvation, people?
562
00:35:23,540 --> 00:35:25,380
Is this what celebrity has come to?
563
00:35:25,580 --> 00:35:30,580
You know, get sick, do nothing
and we'll make you a star.
564
00:35:30,780 --> 00:35:34,140
I have absolutely no interest in
anything you have to say, sir,
565
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:36,660
but I can't speak for the rest
of the people in this room.
566
00:35:36,860 --> 00:35:39,780
So why don't you just belt out
a few of your greatest hits
567
00:35:39,940 --> 00:35:42,100
and then piss off?
568
00:35:52,580 --> 00:35:55,740
Yeah, like I said, I don't want
to take up too much of your time.
569
00:35:57,140 --> 00:36:01,580
So I just wanted to wish
you all the very best.
570
00:36:02,740 --> 00:36:04,260
I really do.
571
00:37:06,740 --> 00:37:09,820
So, it's like parallel universes.
572
00:37:09,980 --> 00:37:10,860
How's that?
573
00:37:11,060 --> 00:37:15,740
Well, I was the 'it' girl last year,
but you're the 'it' guy this year.
574
00:37:22,380 --> 00:37:24,620
I've noticed you've been
having a bit of a tricky time.
575
00:37:26,620 --> 00:37:28,900
It's been really surreal, Barney.
576
00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:32,820
At first I thought that Lyle
was just dark and complicated,
577
00:37:32,980 --> 00:37:37,620
but... turns out he was just a bully.
578
00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:41,140
You OK?
579
00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:44,460
Where's Cleaver?
580
00:37:44,620 --> 00:37:46,500
I don't know.
581
00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:49,740
No-one wants to talk
to me all of a sudden.
582
00:37:49,900 --> 00:37:51,380
I need to see him.
583
00:37:51,540 --> 00:37:53,020
I can't help you. He's in hiding.
584
00:37:53,180 --> 00:37:54,780
I have no idea where he is.
585
00:37:54,980 --> 00:37:56,260
- Well, you must have a number.
- I don't.
586
00:37:56,460 --> 00:37:58,500
- Come on, buddy.
- Miss, he's in hiding.
587
00:37:58,700 --> 00:38:00,180
Just give me a number. Give me your phone.
588
00:38:00,380 --> 00:38:02,300
- I don't have a number.
- Bullshit!
589
00:38:02,460 --> 00:38:05,340
Bullshit! He loves me, you know.
590
00:38:05,540 --> 00:38:08,900
He fucking worships me. He would
wanna know that I was back.
591
00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:10,940
All he has to do is turn
on the news to know that.
592
00:38:12,260 --> 00:38:14,220
Don't you play fucking games with me.
593
00:38:14,420 --> 00:38:16,820
Why are you so determined
to keep us apart?
594
00:38:16,980 --> 00:38:19,020
I'm not. Miss, you're not well.
595
00:38:19,180 --> 00:38:21,860
Oh, really? I'm fucked, Barney.
596
00:38:22,020 --> 00:38:24,500
I am completely fucked.
597
00:38:24,660 --> 00:38:27,140
That's why I need to see Cleaver.
598
00:38:27,340 --> 00:38:29,660
- You need help.
- I need Cleaver!
599
00:38:32,300 --> 00:38:33,580
Oh, no, Barney, don't go, please!
600
00:38:33,740 --> 00:38:35,780
Please, I beg you. Please don't go.
601
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:39,300
I need help. You're right, I need help.
602
00:38:40,940 --> 00:38:43,100
Do you really not know where Cleaver is?
603
00:38:43,260 --> 00:38:45,420
I don't know where he is.
604
00:38:47,980 --> 00:38:49,420
Then maybe you can help me.
605
00:38:50,900 --> 00:38:52,340
I'll do what I can.
606
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:54,580
I just need a connection.
607
00:38:54,780 --> 00:38:57,020
Just to get me through
the next couple of days.
608
00:38:57,180 --> 00:38:59,060
That's all and then that's it.
609
00:38:59,260 --> 00:39:02,060
I just need a little
assistance, and then I promise
610
00:39:02,260 --> 00:39:05,220
I am gonna straighten up and I
am going to fly right, I promise.
611
00:39:05,420 --> 00:39:07,740
You're a criminal lawyer.
You must know someone.
612
00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:11,220
Don't tell me it's ice.
613
00:39:11,380 --> 00:39:14,540
No! It's just coke! Jesus!
614
00:39:14,740 --> 00:39:17,940
I just need a couple of lines.
What's the big fucking deal?
615
00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:20,300
I need a number.
616
00:39:20,460 --> 00:39:24,140
Please? Pretty please?
617
00:39:28,220 --> 00:39:32,420
Miss, no. That's the last thing...
618
00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:34,820
Oh, well, fuck off, then, you dickhead!
619
00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:36,540
Miss!
620
00:39:36,740 --> 00:39:41,020
You've never been anything but
a fat fucking loser, Barney!
621
00:39:49,780 --> 00:39:52,180
Oh, God!
622
00:39:56,940 --> 00:39:58,860
- Hi, Doc.
- Hey. How you going?
623
00:39:59,060 --> 00:40:02,820
Oh, yeah, fine. You know... Yeah, fine.
624
00:40:03,020 --> 00:40:05,420
I, um... I attacked a
Greens senate candidate.
625
00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:08,740
Not all eyes will weep for you.
626
00:40:08,900 --> 00:40:10,340
What do you mean?
627
00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:12,620
What do you mean, what do I mean?
628
00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:15,660
Oh, you sound weird. Have you done
something stupid? Have you been you?
629
00:40:15,820 --> 00:40:19,020
What? No. God no.
630
00:40:19,180 --> 00:40:20,660
Oh, my God. What have you done?
631
00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:28,380
Thank you!
632
00:40:33,900 --> 00:40:36,060
Adam and Zoe are both at sleepovers.
633
00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:38,260
Max is here.
634
00:40:38,420 --> 00:40:39,940
Max is the one I'm most afraid of.
635
00:40:40,100 --> 00:40:41,740
Brilliant as I am,
636
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:45,900
I got him the new edition of
the World of the Warcraft.
637
00:40:46,060 --> 00:40:47,780
The Game of the War.
638
00:40:47,980 --> 00:40:50,980
Game... Oh, I got him
some fucking war game.
639
00:40:51,180 --> 00:40:53,220
So we won't see him for
at least three years.
640
00:40:56,540 --> 00:40:57,620
Come on.
641
00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:07,700
How's that?
642
00:41:07,860 --> 00:41:09,180
It's nice.
643
00:41:11,660 --> 00:41:13,420
I like nice things.
644
00:41:15,100 --> 00:41:18,020
Do you know how many pairs
of shoes I have in LA, Barney?
645
00:41:18,180 --> 00:41:20,220
No, Miss.
646
00:41:20,380 --> 00:41:23,780
Gotta be... 150.
647
00:41:25,460 --> 00:41:27,660
Gotta be.
648
00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:32,540
Every time I buy a pair of
shoes, I think about the needy
649
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:34,020
and the poor people.
650
00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:37,420
And how the money I spend on shoes
651
00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:41,060
could contribute to a village
in Africa or something.
652
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:47,740
I think about that for
about three seconds,
653
00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:49,100
and then I buy the shoes.
654
00:41:51,460 --> 00:41:53,220
Just rest.
655
00:42:12,460 --> 00:42:14,460
Hey, babe, can you call me back?
656
00:42:15,580 --> 00:42:20,100
I need some help with
something. It's important.
657
00:42:28,540 --> 00:42:30,140
It's like a bad Coke commercial.
658
00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:32,540
What are you talking about? It's really...
659
00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:34,180
Oh, yeah?
660
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:58,620
- Oh, God!
- Cleaver! Cleaver!
661
00:42:58,820 --> 00:43:01,060
You scared the shit out of
me! What are you doing here?
662
00:43:01,220 --> 00:43:02,900
We can't risk this, OK?
663
00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:04,540
George was sticking his
nose in this morning.
664
00:43:04,740 --> 00:43:06,980
It's too late. Everybody knows about us.
665
00:43:07,180 --> 00:43:09,340
What do you mean,
everybody knows about us?
666
00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:10,380
Where's the corkscrew?
667
00:43:10,540 --> 00:43:12,140
The guy drove past.
668
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:14,860
It was a drive-by. He saw us chatting.
669
00:43:15,060 --> 00:43:16,980
Is that all it takes for people to assume
670
00:43:17,140 --> 00:43:18,340
you're having sex in this town?
671
00:43:18,540 --> 00:43:21,380
It's all it takes to get tongues
wagging around here, I'm afraid.
672
00:43:21,580 --> 00:43:23,780
They can't be sure.
They don't know, do they?
673
00:43:23,940 --> 00:43:24,940
It's just gossip.
674
00:43:25,140 --> 00:43:28,940
It's irresponsible gossip that
just happens to be accurate.
675
00:43:29,100 --> 00:43:31,140
We could analyse this all night,
676
00:43:31,340 --> 00:43:33,940
or we could take a couple of
joints and a bottle of wine to bed.
677
00:43:36,100 --> 00:43:38,740
Well, that's quite a conundrum there.
678
00:43:40,780 --> 00:43:44,180
Do you want dinner or not?
679
00:43:44,340 --> 00:43:46,780
You know me. I want it all.
680
00:43:46,940 --> 00:43:50,420
Well, you can't have it all tonight.
681
00:43:50,620 --> 00:43:53,460
Well, you can have it all on the
weekend when Barney takes the kids,
682
00:43:53,660 --> 00:44:00,660
but tonight, it's just smooching in
the kitchen... and a bit of pasta.
683
00:44:25,940 --> 00:44:30,460
- Arghh!
- Stop it! Dammit! Stop it!
684
00:44:30,620 --> 00:44:32,420
Stop it! Shit.
685
00:44:33,540 --> 00:44:34,700
Judith?
686
00:44:36,740 --> 00:44:38,180
Alli?
687
00:44:41,980 --> 00:44:43,660
Am I crazy?
688
00:44:43,860 --> 00:44:46,300
But, you know, with all the art in here,
689
00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:49,700
I thought she might have
been an Aboriginal lady.
690
00:44:49,860 --> 00:44:50,820
Ahh.
691
00:44:51,020 --> 00:44:54,260
They're really beautiful works, Judith.
692
00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:55,660
Aren't they?
693
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:58,500
I always find the Kimberley
such an inspiration.
694
00:44:58,660 --> 00:44:59,580
It's my Dreaming.
695
00:44:59,740 --> 00:45:01,100
Is it?
696
00:45:02,140 --> 00:45:03,500
Yeah.
697
00:45:09,340 --> 00:45:12,700
- Oh... Oh, shit!
- Oh, God! Ohh!
698
00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:14,540
Just hold it up. Hold it... Hold it up.
699
00:45:14,740 --> 00:45:15,820
- Just... Argh.
- Ohh!
700
00:45:16,020 --> 00:45:17,500
- Just hold it.
- Oh...
701
00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:19,620
Max!
702
00:45:21,340 --> 00:45:22,980
It's alright.
703
00:45:23,180 --> 00:45:25,140
Max, it's not what it looks like, alright?
704
00:45:39,620 --> 00:45:41,060
We're not bad people, you know.
705
00:45:43,340 --> 00:45:45,500
So is there any way we can start again?
706
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:52,140
Reboot? Start from an agreed minimal
position that we're not bad people?
707
00:45:55,540 --> 00:45:58,020
From day one, I felt like
Scarlet's understudy.
708
00:46:00,940 --> 00:46:05,340
I felt like our relationship
is the result of desperation,
709
00:46:05,500 --> 00:46:08,420
not happiness, on both our parts.
710
00:46:08,620 --> 00:46:14,340
And I know that I'm overreacting
to all of this balloon bullshit,
711
00:46:14,540 --> 00:46:16,820
but every moment since you were rescued
712
00:46:16,980 --> 00:46:18,740
has confirmed my worst fears.
713
00:46:20,740 --> 00:46:22,980
I don't know if I can do this, Barney.
714
00:46:25,380 --> 00:46:28,940
It's starting to feel
more wrong than right.
715
00:46:42,380 --> 00:46:44,100
- It's gonna be OK.
- Let me go!
716
00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:46,180
Mummy's going to be alright.
It's just a small cut.
717
00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:47,500
- Let me go!
- Would you stop...
718
00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:49,820
- Let me go!
- .. struggling? Max!
719
00:46:49,980 --> 00:46:52,540
Stop touching me!
720
00:46:56,340 --> 00:46:57,620
Just calm down.
721
00:46:57,780 --> 00:46:59,620
NO!
722
00:47:05,100 --> 00:47:06,660
So where are you off to next?
723
00:47:06,860 --> 00:47:11,660
I'm in no hurry. This
last trip was so intense.
724
00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:13,780
The land just spoke to me.
725
00:47:13,940 --> 00:47:15,700
Right.
726
00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:21,940
Judith, if I may be so bold, uh...
where are you planning on staying?
727
00:47:22,140 --> 00:47:25,020
Well, don't be silly. This is my home.
728
00:47:26,460 --> 00:47:28,900
Yes, which you have leased to me,
729
00:47:29,100 --> 00:47:31,900
fully paid in advance, for six months.
730
00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:35,500
If there's any confusion, I
still have two months left.
731
00:47:35,700 --> 00:47:40,780
Murray, let's not let legal mumbo
jumbo stand in our way, pet.
732
00:47:40,980 --> 00:47:44,340
Yes, it's not actually mumbo
jumbo. It's very straightforward.
733
00:47:44,540 --> 00:47:48,500
Um, you have rented your
house to me for money.
734
00:47:48,660 --> 00:47:49,660
I am the occupant.
735
00:47:49,860 --> 00:47:53,580
I get to decide who comes through
the door and how long they stay.
736
00:47:53,780 --> 00:47:56,220
But, darling, I'm not kicking you out.
737
00:47:56,420 --> 00:47:57,740
I think we'll be very happy here together.
738
00:47:57,900 --> 00:48:00,740
No, we won't, Judith, I promise you.
739
00:48:00,940 --> 00:48:03,020
Do you have a copy of the lease on you?
740
00:48:05,660 --> 00:48:07,300
Well, you know there's no lease.
741
00:48:07,460 --> 00:48:09,260
It was a cash up front deal.
742
00:48:09,460 --> 00:48:13,140
Yes, I was curious about that, Murray.
743
00:48:13,340 --> 00:48:16,780
In my experience, cash
up front usually means
744
00:48:16,980 --> 00:48:19,860
you don't want any recorded
evidence of your stay, hmm?
745
00:48:20,020 --> 00:48:22,580
You may have the sofa.
746
00:48:22,740 --> 00:48:25,580
I need to piss Niagarishly.
747
00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:30,700
Oh, don't worry, Alli. You
can rely on my discretion.
748
00:48:30,900 --> 00:48:33,100
But if this is any more than 24 hours old,
749
00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:35,380
everyone around here will know anyway.
750
00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:46,020
Oh, so she's an Aborigine? She's
from fucking Knightsbridge.
751
00:48:46,220 --> 00:48:48,740
She taught Maggie Thatcher
how to pronounce her vowels.
752
00:48:48,940 --> 00:48:52,860
She got my fucking cash, and
she's got me by the balls!
753
00:48:53,060 --> 00:48:55,740
Oh, Cleaver, relax. The
woman's a total fraud.
754
00:48:55,900 --> 00:48:57,220
Call her bluff.
755
00:48:57,380 --> 00:48:58,260
What do you mean?
756
00:48:58,420 --> 00:49:00,660
Everyone round here knows it.
757
00:49:00,860 --> 00:49:02,780
Oh, well, everyone around
here seems to know everything.
758
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,420
Mayford appears to be the blessed
759
00:49:04,620 --> 00:49:06,460
fucking vortex of universal knowledge.
760
00:49:06,660 --> 00:49:09,500
What are the traditional
telltale signs of a painter?
761
00:49:09,660 --> 00:49:12,100
Well, for me, it's paintings.
762
00:49:12,260 --> 00:49:14,300
Yeah, but can you see any easels?
763
00:49:14,460 --> 00:49:16,940
Or brushes? Paint on the floor?
764
00:49:17,140 --> 00:49:20,380
There's not a blank canvas in this
room. They're all finished works.
765
00:49:20,540 --> 00:49:23,340
Oh, other people's finished works?
766
00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:24,900
Oh, so she's heading out west
767
00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:27,420
and conning real Aboriginal
artists out of their work?
768
00:49:27,620 --> 00:49:29,620
Yep. Signing them and
then sells them as her own.
769
00:49:29,780 --> 00:49:31,100
Oh, the evil cow.
770
00:49:32,580 --> 00:49:35,140
Oh, let her try and kick me out of here.
771
00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:37,060
I will see her in court.
772
00:49:42,460 --> 00:49:46,420
Alli! Alli! Look what you made me do!
773
00:49:56,500 --> 00:49:59,300
Where is she? Huh?
774
00:49:59,460 --> 00:50:00,740
I don't know.
775
00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:05,180
That wasn't her, that was
Judith! Where's my wife?
776
00:50:05,380 --> 00:50:06,820
I don't know, mate. I
don't know where she is.
777
00:50:06,980 --> 00:50:08,900
Don't blame me. You can't blame me.
778
00:50:09,060 --> 00:50:10,340
I had no fuckin' choice.
779
00:50:10,540 --> 00:50:12,020
Just put the gun down.
We can talk about it.
780
00:50:12,220 --> 00:50:15,340
She comes here, disrespecting
herself with you!
781
00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:16,980
Disrespecting me!
782
00:50:17,180 --> 00:50:19,060
- It didn't have to be like this. - No.
783
00:50:19,220 --> 00:50:20,780
It didn't have to be like this.
784
00:50:20,980 --> 00:50:23,740
If you hadn't have got pissed every night,
785
00:50:23,940 --> 00:50:26,820
beaten the crap out of
that beautiful girl,
786
00:50:27,020 --> 00:50:30,660
it wouldn't have been like
this, you pathetic fuck.
787
00:50:33,980 --> 00:50:34,940
ARGGH!
788
00:50:48,020 --> 00:50:49,740
So...
789
00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:54,540
So.
790
00:50:54,700 --> 00:50:58,660
Now we... we call the cops.
791
00:51:06,340 --> 00:51:08,140
Don't know what Henry's thinking, Ray.
792
00:51:08,340 --> 00:51:11,100
Henry's a fuckin' dolt. Thicker
than a whale sandwich, you know?
793
00:51:12,660 --> 00:51:14,540
Why are they still here?
794
00:51:14,700 --> 00:51:16,020
And why do you keep topping them up?
795
00:51:16,180 --> 00:51:17,380
Because that's what you do.
796
00:51:17,580 --> 00:51:20,020
Yeah, but, I mean,
they've hauled Neil off.
797
00:51:20,180 --> 00:51:22,140
Judith's on her way to the morgue.
798
00:51:22,300 --> 00:51:23,740
What's with all the party lights?
799
00:51:23,940 --> 00:51:26,980
Oh, what a terrible business.
You alright, sweetheart?
800
00:51:27,140 --> 00:51:28,700
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
801
00:51:28,860 --> 00:51:30,380
Oh, Tonia.
802
00:51:30,580 --> 00:51:33,260
- What about you, Murray?
- Fine, Stanley, yes. All good.
803
00:51:33,460 --> 00:51:37,020
- I came as soon as I heard.
- I'll pop the kettle on, shall I?
804
00:51:37,180 --> 00:51:38,500
Yeah, that'd be good.
805
00:51:39,980 --> 00:51:41,820
Ah, George.
806
00:51:41,980 --> 00:51:42,900
What about some wine?
807
00:52:04,780 --> 00:52:06,500
What time did the last ones leave?
808
00:52:08,060 --> 00:52:09,500
5:30.
809
00:52:09,700 --> 00:52:13,980
Holy shit. Where did all
that Scotch come from?
810
00:52:14,180 --> 00:52:17,220
Charles had a case of it
in his car. Always does.
811
00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:23,100
My first-ever mid-Mayford
murder mystery party.
812
00:52:26,100 --> 00:52:28,180
- I'm scared now.
- Why?
813
00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:31,380
My force-fields are down.
814
00:52:36,140 --> 00:52:37,540
You can't stay.
815
00:52:38,980 --> 00:52:40,700
No, I can't stay.
816
00:52:43,900 --> 00:52:47,180
You could... come with me.
817
00:52:52,500 --> 00:52:54,020
I really liked Murray Rose.
818
00:52:54,180 --> 00:52:55,660
Eh?
819
00:52:57,220 --> 00:53:00,060
Cleaver Greene, he scares me.
820
00:53:10,060 --> 00:53:14,300
The chaos. I can't deal
with chaos right now.
821
00:53:20,580 --> 00:53:22,100
I'd better get Dad home.
822
00:54:05,020 --> 00:54:07,540
Oh, come on, you fuckin' thing.
823
00:54:14,700 --> 00:54:17,300
Good morning, Mr Greene. It's
a pleasure to finally meet you.
824
00:54:35,460 --> 00:54:37,580
Let go!
825
00:54:37,740 --> 00:54:39,580
We'll be needing two glasses.
826
00:54:39,740 --> 00:54:42,580
Oh my god!
827
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,020
Oh, just after I caved
in entirely on Thompson.
828
00:54:45,180 --> 00:54:47,300
She's mine. You understand?
829
00:54:47,460 --> 00:54:49,180
You keep your hands off him.
830
00:54:49,340 --> 00:54:50,860
To allegations of deeds most found.
831
00:54:51,020 --> 00:54:52,500
You were in Columbia.
832
00:54:52,660 --> 00:54:55,660
It's so good to see you.
833
00:54:55,860 --> 00:54:57,860
- Guys.
- You better take your shoes off.
834
00:54:58,020 --> 00:55:00,020
Mum's new rule in the house.
835
00:55:00,070 --> 00:55:04,620
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