All language subtitles for Rake s03e03.eng

Barney has cancer.

What sort of cancer?
Fuck! Why didn't somebody tell me?

It's the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.

Every day is a blessing.

You were in prison.
So what?

You just decided to steal my
secretary and my entire client base?

They want to make a movie
about Josh and me.

Who's 'they'?
Ron Howard's company.

Oh, sh... Tikki!

Hello, Cal.

Here's what I think
we need you to do.

You're going to host a new
television program,

mostly gambling and scandal.

You're my rock. You're my port
in a storm. You're my soulmate.

That's just a shipwreck.

Oh, fuck!

Why do you think I'm here?

I can get any damn QC in the world

to make a good argument and
quote the act, chapter and verse.

What I need is someone who is
prepared to play beyond the rules,

someone who can say 'mammophile'
without flinching,

someone to bring fireworks
to this case.

Who can bring the circus
and the carnival to court.

I need someone who can bring
top-secret, inadmissible,

highly prejudicial evidence
before a jury.

Do you think you can do that?

Maybe...
(Laughter)

..if the price is right.

For the hundredth time, Clarice,
I don't swing that way.

I love you, but only as a friend.
You have to understand that.

I'm in love with Josh.
Oh, for fuck's sake.

I'm off the meth.
I only do coke on weekends.

I mean, what more
do you want from me?

What will it take for you
to understand

how I feel about you, Melissa?

(Burps)

Clarice,
Melissa and I are getting married.

OK, I'll do it, Josh,
on one condition.

What's that?

Let me give the bride away.

(Belches)

Oh, wasn't Cate just amazing?

Oh, yeah. She brought out
my inner lesbian perfectly.

Shall we change the subject?
What to?

Well, how's your work coming along?
Great.

I'm a legal pariah,

and your stupid, fucking film's

only going to make matters worse,
isn't it?

Next question?

Oh, God, look who's here.

Is she a pal of yours?

I think one of her companies
may have invested in the film.

Yeah, that'd be right. She invests
in a lot of shit, doesn't she?

Mm. Hello. Welcome.

What are we looking at here?

This is our take on pizza.

Our take on pizza?

Please don't start.

Our take on...
You can't have a take on pizza.

Either it is pizza or it isn't,
and this isn't.

See this? This is a slice of bread.

There is no pizza doughlike substance
anywhere near this thing.

Look, you've got cheese, you've got
some sort of tomato-based sauce.

Yeah, but that's not
what makes it a pizza.

You can put any old shit you like
on top of the pizza,

make a terrible pizza,
but it's still a pizza,

because the thing that makes it
a pizza is the base.

And that's why they're called pizzas.

Should I get you another drink?

I tell you what -
I'll get you a drink,

but it'll be my take on white wine,

which is Fanta.

Thank you. That's my take
on your take.

Wonderful. Thank you so much.

Welcome.

Do you know her?

What has got into you?

You've turned into
some sort of sexual truffle pig.

When this little piggy hasn't had
a truffle for over 12 months,

his snout gets very sensitive.

Oh, great.

Good evening, Clarice.

Oh, stop it!

Missy will tell you
that Clarice is an amalgam

of all kinds of characters
and ideas, won't she?

Gertrude Stein, Chastity Bono,
Melissa Etheridge.

I wouldn't be so cocky, cocky.

Your character was described as,
quote, 'Totally gaybones'.

By your character -
a deranged lesbian meth addict.

Please. You guys are making a scene.

I'm not the one the papers
are sniggering about, mate.

That is right-wing tabloid bullshit.

Oh, I know.
You want to take this outside?

Yes! Let's take the fucker outside.

No!
Come on!

Yeah!
No. Nobody is going outside.

Everybody is staying in.

You are not going to
ruin this night for me.

Yeah, Melissa is right.
We should stay in.

Except for Harry,
who should come out.

I guess that's your take on
'going outside'.

(Sniffing)

Paulie!

Paulie. (Knocks)
Is that you, Horny? I'm out.

Mate, you've gone through
two bags already. Jesus.

Hey, that was you, wasn't it?
Who was the guy who knocked you out?

Exactly.
You want a line?

Oh... You don't even know me, fellas.

Go on, Horny. Give him a line.
OK, Paulie.

He looks like he could use one.
Yeah, he does.

Then let's go back to the party.

Is the cow still there?

Mate, I just saw her leaving,
I swear.

Who's the cow?
My stepmother.

Tikki Wendon.

You're Tikki Wendon's stepson?

God help me. Enjoy.

(Sniffs)

CROUPIER: Place your bets.

HORNY: What you got, Paulie?
(Paulie speaks indistinctly)

(All speak indistinctly)

Last bets.

No more bets.

14.

14!

Thank you, gentlemen.
Stick with me.

Stick with me for the evening.
This is as safe as houses.

Well done, sir. Place your bets.
I love it.

That's going right there.
No numbers for you.

Come on, now. That's the one.

(All talk at once)
I'd be popping them right there.

Popping them right there.
That's where it's going.

Oh! Oh, my God!
Yes!

It's not bad.
How much was that?

$5,600. Well done, sir.

$5,600.
New bet.

Place your bets.
Champagne!

NEWSREADER: The stars were punching
well above their weight last night

at the opening of the new
Cate Blanchett movie, Joshua,

based on the life

of goodplumbing.com founder,
Joshua Floyd.

At the party following the premiere,
a Sydney lawyer, Cleaver Greene,

found himself decked

by New South Wales
Opposition Leader, David Potter.

Come on, you guys, you'll be late.
Coming up...

Is Matty ready?
Yeah.

And where's Rhett?
Probably wanking.

Summer, don't be disgusting.
Well, he probably is!

That's all he does at the moment.

Well, if that boy is mean to you
again, my darling,

you tell Mrs Elms, alright?

Because what do we not condone?
We do not condone bullying.

Alright, my darling.

Thanks, Rhetty.

Right.

There you go, sweetheart.

Pack it up, troops.

We must remember to send Greene
some flowers.

Yeah.

Mate, these numbers
are fucking gold.

You've got to beat more people up.

(Chuckles) Have you seen this?
Yeah? Yes.

That is much better than
that Tinker Bell bullshit.

What Tinker Bell bullshit?

There are a couple of cartoons.

What, with me as...
Yeah, as Tinker Bell, yeah.

I thought I was Harry Potter -
you know, the glasses, the...

Online, they moved you
to Tinker Bell.

What are they saying?
What does it look like?

It's just the glasses...

..and the tutu.

And a broken wand,
but there was no body per se.

A tutu? A broken wand?

Everything's fine now, hey?
Look at this.

You don't punch like
you take it up the arse, hey?

Look at that!
We're back on this gay thing.

It's a Raging Bull quote.
It's not gay.

It's the tabloids.
You should have ditched the glasses

after Derby Day at Randwick,
like we said. They didn't poll well.

Glasses are not gay, they're just...
they're just glasses!

I've been wearing them
since primary school.

Since when have we been
polling glasses?

My mum has had the laser.
It's been unbelievable.

The glasses were
a big part of the problem.

That's how the Harry Potter stuff
came up in the first place.

Cleaver Greene is how the fucking
Harry Potter stuff came up.

Lord, we commend into your hands

the spirit of your servant,
Malcolm John Finnane.

Who are you?

Cleaver Greene.
Oh.

Lord, Malcolm didn't have
an easy life.

Malcolm told me a lot about you.

Malcolm didn't have an easy life,
Lord, and...

When did you get out?
Excuse me, young lady.

This is a funeral service
for your brother.

I know, and this is a prayer, right?
Indeed.

So you're talking to God, not me.

You have your conversation.
I'll have mine.

This man, unlike you, actually knew
my brother. He was in jail with him.

If anyone should be talking about
Malcolm, it should be this man.

He had sex with Malcolm.
I did not!

Malcolm told me you did.

Well, Malcolm was a little
delusional in matters of romance.

Come on. A lot of guys do things
inside they wouldn't normally do.

He wanted to, but it never happened.
OK, sure.

What is wrong with... Hey, is
this about slipping on the soap?

Did he tell you about...
Because I... I... I never slipped...

Not in the... I never slipped.

He was very explicit.

Fantasists tend to be. Jesus Christ.

I think we're... we're done here.

Ah, in the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.

It's called coimetrophobia,
by the way.

What? What is?

Fear of cemeteries.

Do you have death issues?

Ah, one or two...

..mainly one.

It's those left behind who suffer,
Mr Greene, not the dead.

Right. So we should fear life
more than we fear death?

Obviously.
Ah.

I never thought about it like that.
You must be a riot at parties.

Ah, I know a lot of dead people.

Are you a mortician or something?

Psychologist.
I specialise in addictions.

You know - drugs, alcohol, gambling.

Ah. That must be fascinating for you.

This is what he wanted.

He was very specific.

Did he ever talk to you about God?

No.

All these years,
after everything he's been through,

I never understood
how he kept his faith.

I don't have a problem, OK?

You lawyers are all the same,
aren't you?

You think your class is above
the frailty of others.

First of all,
I've been expelled from my class.

Alright? Second of all, yes,
I was at a party.

Yeah, there may have been
a few sprinkles. What's the big deal?

It wasn't just a few sprinkles,
Cleaver -

it was at least a gram and a half,
maybe two.

That's not work for an amateur.
That takes a seasoned professional.

Are you some sort
of a cocaine savant?

Call me if you ever want a chat, OK?

Yeah, right.

Don't throw away a second chance.

You're lucky to have one.

See ya.
OK.

Congratulations, Senior Counsel.

Thank you.
I'm very proud of you.

I hope that doesn't sound
condescending. It's not meant to.

It doesn't.
Good.

Ah, thank you. Very kind.

Johnny, how's it hanging?

Cleaver.

Pedro, all good your end?

Cleaver.
Cleaver.

All good my end.

(Attendees clap)

Fellas, how's it dangling?

Cleaver.
Cleaver.

I told you you could come
to the ceremony, not the house.

I couldn't make the ceremony.

David, it's over.

I know, I know.

Are you out of your mind?

Jesus!

Open your present.

Come on.

Silk for a silk.

Congratulations.

Sammy Cox is dealing with
Marcel's side of things, of course,

but the salient
and little-known fact

is that Laetitia's
selling half of the restaurant.

MAN: Are you in, Fred?
Fucking right I'm in for it.

It's only 150 grand each a pop.

For Christ's sake, you don't get
an opportunity like that

begging to go down on you every day.

150, you say?
Oh, don't be such a prick.

You spend that amount on batteries
for your dildos each month.

OK, I'm in.

Oh, that's more like it.
Anybody else?

Marcel's. Marcel's.
I'm trying to remember.

It wasn't just the salmonella,
so it wasn't just the puking.

It was the sort of incessant tide
of Gallic flim-flam and wankery,

the sort of

'noisette Napoleon, cote de boeuf
de Gaulle de pommes de terre'.

Steak and chips. Fuck me.

Invisible man, coming through.

Invisible man.

Whoa-ho-ho!

Moncrieff, sit down!

Ooh, sou'-wester.

Ladies.

(Laughs)

Blue Man Group.

Yeah, baby. Feel it and weep.

(Mobile rings)

Yeah?
Mate, it's Paulie. Where are you?

Paulie? Paulie...

(Laughs) You've forgotten,
haven't you?

You were so fucking wasted.

We were meant to have lunch today,
make the transfer.

Make what transfer?

Your winnings.

Horny and I thought you might
leave them in the back of a cab,

so we looked after them for you.

What winnings?
Yeah, you were on fire, mate.

How much did I win?
160.

160 bucks?

Grand, mate. 160 grand.

I'm in.

Sorry, Cleaver?

Marcel's. I'm in.
150 you said, right?

I can have a bank cheque
for you tomorrow.

Steak and chips. Yeah.

Dartnell Private Oncology.
Helen speaking.

Ooh, it's looking
a little bit tricky,

but I'll see if I can
squeeze you in, poppet.

No, just doing my job, my love.

This is the best move you've
ever made. This will set you up.

Are you back on coke?
What?

Look, you've always told me

not to piss my money
up against a wall, but invest it.

Fred is the country's
leading tax lawyer.

The man is genetically risk-averse.

If you were freezing to death,

he would lease you
the steam off his piss

and claim it as a deduction.

He knows what he's doing.

So what are you going to live on?

The way I see it,
I've been given a second chance,

and I don't want to blow it, alright?

I'm ready to work again.

I will live on my earnings, and the
restaurant can be my superannuation.

This is inspirational, Cleave.

This is the film
they should be making.

Darling, why don't you throw
a few cases Cleave's way?

Yeah, I could do that

if there's something
you might be interested in.

Well, maybe some of
the more grisly ones.

I know you're a little squeamish.
I could lighten your load.

This would not be about you
lightening my load.

This would be about you being
my junior counsel. I'm an SC now.

It would be consistent work, Cleave.

Let me remind you that some of us
have been in the legal game

a little longer than others.

Oh, right. Yet miraculously, you're
still a junior counsel. Go figure.

I just think this is fantastic.

This is the best day!

I want to celebrate!
I'm going for a run.

What is wrong with you?

I'm going for a run.
Who are you?

You went for a run this morning.
I'm going to Nicole's.

She needs a hand with something.

You drive to Nicole's!
Nah!

Barney, you need to rest your body
after chemo.

Just drive, you fuckwit.
Why? I'm feeling fine.

Hey? I've never felt better. Hey?

Come on! Hey, did I tell you
I'm doing the KMA Half Marathon?

The what?
The KMA. I'm living, mate!

Why don't you do it with me, Cleave?
Come on, come on, embrace life.

Feel the blood pumping!

Oh, yes.
You want to feel my aorta bursting?

Come on, do it.
Yes? Yes? Is that a yes?

Is that a nod?
Come on, come on, come on...

Alright, mate, I'll be there. I'll
come and watch you kill yourself.

But if the doctor says, rest,
you should fucking rest.

You people are soft.
Come on, live a little! Whee!

When he's here,
he's running to Nicole

and when he's with Nicole,
he's running back here.

He's got the gym and the school run,

and now he wants to do this...
bloody half marathon.

It's going to kill him.

I know it, Nicole knows it.

What we don't know is
if he's running away from death

or running towards it.

So, Australia,

you think you've seen it all until
you find a piece of work like this.

A mother-of-three,
a doctor's receptionist,

one Helen Harwood,
shaves her seven-year-old son's head

and tells the world he has cancer,
and she's done it twice,

purely in order to scam Medicare
to the tune of $400,000.

Now, this is a fraud
of such proportions

that the Labor Party

must be considering Ms Harwood
for preselection.

We've got to crack down on
these welfare fraudsters,

and I know how to.

But first, let's cross
to the seventh at Doomben,

where I hear Likely Lad
is now at fours. Tom?

Numbers are holding, mate.

Remember, Dave - you're not just
a man's man, but a bloke's bloke.

You won't back down.

He's not a bloke's bloke, is he?

Now, you call yourself
the Police Commissioner, do you not?

I call you the Commissioner of
Death, the Commissioner of Disgrace,

the Commissioner who stands idly by

whilst young Australians
and other young people

lucky enough to be allowed to live
in this country

are killing each other.

You are in effect the Commissioner
of Blood, are you not?

I'm Cal McGregor.
We'll be right back.

David Potter, thanks for finally
agreeing to come onto the show.

Well, thanks for
finally asking me, Cal.

So - welfare frauds.

You lot basically put out
the welcome mat for them

when you were in office.

Medicare is a Federal
responsibility, not State.

I would have thought even
a disgraced former Attorney-General

would have known that.

You're willing to put out
the welcome mat for welfare cheats,

yet you're opposed
to infrastructure reform.

Tikki Wendon's
superbly imaginative plan

to build an edifice
rivalling the Opera House

on the other side of the Harbour -
billions of dollars of investment,

thousands of jobs...

By 'edifice', you mean 'casino',
right?

Look, I will oppose both the
Government and Tikki Wendon on this,

and I won't back down.

My dad shot through
because of his problem with gambling.

Yeah, thanks.
I'm afraid we're out of time.

Food for thought, David Potter,
if you're bulimic.

Now, the seventh at Dapto's
about to kick off,

and I hear Mere Avenger's
looking special. Tom?

MAN: We're out, everyone.

Thanks, Potter. That was good.

Hey, listen. Tell me, I'm curious -

what motivates you to get up
and go to work in the morning?

The naive belief that today's
got to be better than yesterday.

(Chuckles) I'll see you later.

Jesus! You right?

Yep, I'm good.

Is that you, guys?
Yes, it's us, boss.

Got to get that laser surgery.
I'll make the appointment.

Fucking poofter.

This isn't going to work.
This can't possibly work.

Well, you'd better make it work,
because you need the work.

Anyway, you've been a junior before.

Yeah, Not for four years.

And those guys were actually...

What's the word again?
Oh, yes - senior to me.

I'm not an errand boy.

She's going to want me
to research stuff, find precedents,

read actual judgements
and legislature.

You know that's not my thing.
She's the prissy, methodical one.

She's the one...

Oh, Cleaver,
will you shut up and face reality?

What the fuck is this?
Reality.

Yours is the third room
on the left of reality.

You're kidding me.

Dump your stuff. Scarlet would
like you for a conference in five.

Oh.

Are you kidding me?!

Oh, for the love of...

(Machinery whirrs)

Helen Harwood, Scarlet Marx SC.

Engels.

Right. Sorry - Engels. Not Marx, not
Lenin. I knew it was one of them.

Don't put me in the gulag!

Hi, I'm Helen. How are you?

Scarlet Engels. How do you do?
Please take a seat.

Thank you.

And this is Cleaver Greene.

Hi, I'm Helen. How are you?
Helen, lovely to meet you.

I love to bake. Nothing like
a muffin in the morning.

These are for you, Ms Engels.

And of course Mr Greene?
Oh! Yum, yum.

And of course Mr Lincoln.
I know how much he likes them.

That's very kind of you, Ms Harwood,
but let's get down to business.

Of course.
I know how precious your time is.

I hope we can get over this
whole silly misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding? Right.

Um, Ms Harwood, it would appear
that you have committed

a complex and
well thought-through fraud

which has netted you
almost $400,000.

You've claimed reimbursement for
hundreds of medical procedures

for your son which never took place,

using your position as a medical
receptionist to an oncologist

to forge claim forms and reports.

Yes. There has been some confusion
with the forms.

$400,000 does not represent
confusion, Ms Harwood,

it represents fraud!

OK. Lincoln, why don't you take
Helen downstairs for a jiffy

and get her a nice cup of tea,

and Ms Engels and I will have
a little chat?

Of course.

OK, not the most auspicious start.

Do you think?
I don't have to like her.

But you can't hate her.

She has made her little boy pretend
he has cancer. Don't you hate her?

You can't hate your clients, Red.

Why not?
Because they're your livelihood,

and sometimes - admittedly, rarely -
they are actually innocent.

What's worse, occasionally, they turn
out to be better people than we are.

Even some of the guilty ones?
Especially some of the guilty ones.

Now, look, the woman
clearly has a problem.

There's got to be a syndrome
out there we can pin it on.

No, her best chance is to plead
guilty and be full of remorse.

Tom Buckingham's running it
for the DPP.

We're old mates. We can do a deal.

Is this the way
you run your practice -

doing deals with old mates?

What happened to good,
old-fashioned advocacy?

Cleaver, you and I both know

that 95% of the people who
come in here are guilty.

The best thing we can do for them
is a deal.

I want you to go out and talk to her

and find something
to help me make that deal.

Alright? Priority one - find out
what she's done with the money

and if she can give it back.

Off you go.

Hmm?
Oh! Oh, yes.

Dismissed, huh?

Yes?
Yes, you are.

You can send Lincoln back up.
Bon voyage.

Jawohl, mein Obergruppenfuhrer.

Matty's been so brave,
haven't you, my darling?

Yeah, I'll bet he has.

Where's your cancer, mate?
Bones, grade-3.

Started in my left leg
when I was four.

I've got to do some homework.

Is that alright, Mr Greene?

Yeah. Actually, I wouldn't mind
a private word, Helen.

Rhett, look after your brother.

Alright.

Um...

..you know you're looking at
five years, don't you?

Five years?
Prison.

Prison? I can't go to prison.

Right. Well, Ms Engels
is very good at doing deals.

She can probably get it down to two
for you, maybe even one

if you can get the money back.

I told you - I can't go to prison.

Can you get the money back?

Do you hear me?
Helen.

What have you done with the money?

I don't know anything
about any money.

OK, look -
this place isn't exactly a palace,

and it's got a hefty mortgage.

The kids' school paid for the car.

I don't know. Have you
invested the money somewhere?

Did you buy yourself some jewels?
Is there a boat I need to know about?

Helen, this has to stop.

Matty doesn't have cancer, does he?

He's a healthy, seven-year-old boy

who should be leading
a healthy, seven-year-old life,

but because of you,
he thinks he's very sick.

You're hurting him.
You know that, don't you?

How dare you.

I would never hurt him.

I love him
more than anything in the world.

What have you done with the money?
Get out.

We don't have time for...
I said, get out!

OK, OK.

But...

Psst!

Frog and Gnome.

The Congo is just so far!

Yeah, I think that's part
of the point, Mum.

There's enough poor people here
to go around, surely.

Why have you got to go
all the way to Africa?

That's where the mission's
sending us.

Why can't the mission
send you to Brisbane?

There are poor people in Brisbane.

It's just an hour away.
We could visit you there.

Mum, my bag is too small.

I told you that when we were
shopping. I know, I know.

Alright, take mine. It's in my
wardrobe. Back left-hand side.

I can remember being desperate
to go to London when I was a girl.

My father went on
a long business trip there,

and he brought me back the most
beautiful doll from Harrods.

It was the most exquisite thing.

Fuzz!

Wendy?

You know the Dicksons?

Well, they're having a party,
and we all had to bring something.

Mum?

Darling, this is Ruth. She's...

She's something that...

She watches.

She... We don't do anything
with her, she's just...

You've heard of voyeurism,
haven't you?

Yeah, but isn't the defining element
of voyeurism being able to see?

If she's watching, then who...
Roger likes to be watched.

He likes to be watched by that?
Yeah.

OK.

OK?

You sure?
Yeah.

I was just thinking of what
Dad would say if he found out.

OK, what are your terms?

Well, I just think Tara and I

would be better prepared
for the Congo if...

..if we flew business class.

(Knock at door)

Helen?

Oh, Helen.

Rhett! I told you
not to open the door.

It's over, Mum.
What are you talking about?

Look, I went up to the Frog and Gnome
and had a word with Bill up there.

That's a good, old pub, isn't it?

Please, not in front
of the children.

Summer and I know, Mum.
Do you think we're fucking idiots?

Look, Helen, Bill seems to think
it's probably more like $500,000

you've put through his pokies
over time.

Good evening, sir.

Good evening.

I happen to be a significant
shareholder in this establishment,

so my first question to you is,
where the fuck is everybody?

Well, it's a Friday, sir.
Not much traffic on Friday.

Oh, not much traffic on a Friday?

No, sir.

Felicity.
Cleaver.

We'll be talking more, my friend.

The answer's no.
I don't get it.

The woman's an addict.
More than that, she's a victim.

She's poured hundreds of thousands
of dollars into these pokies.

This is the problem.

It's people like you who give
addiction a bad name.

It's who like me who what?

'I cheated on my wife 20 times.
Boohoo. I'm a sex addict.'

'This is my fifth drink-driving
charge. Boohoo. I'm an alcoholic.'

'Don't judge me, society, help me.
I'm a victim.' Please.

This woman should go to jail
and do a rehab program.

I've got no interest in helping her.

Wow.

Oh, and just for the record,

I hear the duck here
is a little on the dry side.

Hey, don't start saying things about
the duck you're going to regret.

I think you're a coward.

Oh, yeah. You talk big,

but when the opportunity actually
arises to do something...

Do what, exactly?

This isn't just about Helen Harwood.

Imagine the message
that would be sent

if a jury were to find someone else

ultimately responsible for
Helen's crimes.

Are you saying
what I think you're saying?

My motives might be a little
less subtle than yours,

but we can take the fuckers on.

You want to take on
the gambling lobby?

I do.

See? I'm full of surprises.

Tell me, how long is it
since you've actually had sex?

An eternity.

I can be full of surprises too.

One year.

Daily rehab classes, of course,

and after six months,
you get to go home for weekends.

I'm not going to jail.

Helen, under the circumstances,
I have to advise you,

this is a very good deal.

Is it my choice?

Yes.

Then no. Thank you.
It's very sweet of you,

and I know you must have worked
very hard.

Helen, if you don't take this deal
and we lose,

you could get five years.

Mr Greene said that I could get off
without doing any time at all.

Ah, yes.

Well, what I actually said was

that if Ms Engels says that you will
do a year, then you will do a year,

whereas if you go my way, you'll
either probably do no time at all

or you'll do
the full five-year stretch.

Right.

So, this is what
you're instructing me to plead.

You are a victim
of the gambling industry,

which drove you to pretend that
your seven-year-old son has cancer.

That is what I'm instructing you
to plead.

Ms Engels, you haven't even touched
your muffin.

I know how much you like blueberry.

So, well done.

The first case I throw you,
you make me look like an idiot.

Come on, Red.

I send you to do
a little groundwork.

You turn my client against me.
Our client.

All prosecution needs
are a few parents on the jury,

and our client is going to spend the
next five years of her life in jail.

It's all high risk
for your high stakes, isn't it?

It's all about the rush.

Has the last year
taught you nothing?

She doesn't want to go to jail.

Oh! Well, that's a novel defence.

'Your Honour, my client
doesn't want to go to jail.'

'Oh, really, Ms Engels?
Well, you leave me with no choice.

The prisoner is free
to go back out into the world

and pretend her daughter
has the fucking plague!'

Thank you, Your Honour.

Your Honour, since the installation

of poker machines
in the Frog and Gnome

some three years ago,
my client has...

..has put $500,000
through those machines.

I'm aware, Ms Engels.
What are you suggesting?

Is this going to be
some sort of plea in mitigation,

or are you embarking
on some bizarre causative frolic?

Maybe Your Honour could give me
a moment to seek further and...

Excuse me, Your Honour.

With the greatest respect, perhaps
my junior, Mr Greene, could...

(Vomits)

(Continues vomiting)

Your Honour, if I could beg the
court's indulgence for one moment.

How many addicts do we have
in the jury over there?

Two I'm pretty certain of.

The girl in the pink is spending
every cent she has on blow,

and the guy in the plaid
loves the ponies, I think.

A couple of alcos, maybe.

Mr Greene!

Your Honour, I do beg your pardon.

Ladies and gentlemen,

you sit today in judgement
of your fellow human being.

That is a heavy burden, isn't it?

Does not the Bible say,

'Judge not lest ye be judged,' hmm?

You will come to know my client,
Helen Harwood,

as a doting mother-of-three.

Now, she does not deny that
she has committed some terrible acts,

but what we must determine here today
in this court

is what drove my client
to commit these acts.

What is the root cause?

The scourge of gambling
is a multibillion-dollar industry

that makes its massive profits
from seducing vulnerable folk

such as my client.

I never really gambled
before the pub put the machines in.

It started out as just the odd
flutter, you know,

but soon I couldn't stop myself.

I took out a second mortgage
on the house,

but that was gone in a few months.

I tried to stop.

Every day I'd say, 'Not today.'

But... then I'd see the ads
on the telly, you know,

for the gambling websites.

They're everywhere.

I'd walk past the pub and...
I could hear the machines.

It was like they were calling me.

Apologies, Your Honour.
Might I take a moment?

Yes, Ms Engels.

Do you think that
she may have poisoned me?

Don't be ridiculous.
Why would she do that?

I think it was the mu...

The muffin.

The blueberry muffin? No.

I thought the blueberry muffins
were your favourite type of muffin.

(Vomits)

Now, where were we?

Mr Short, when was the first time
that you saw my client in your pub?

I can't recall.
You did meet her, did you not?

Yeah, I did, on many occasions.

So you knew that she had children,

one of whom, to all intents
and purposes, had cancer?

Yeah, I did.

Yet you did nothing
to discourage her

from pouring hundreds of thousands
of dollars

into the machines at your pub?

It's a free country.

In fact, far from discouraging her,
you actually offered her inducements

to play the pokies at the
Frog and Gnome, didn't you, Mr Short?

Inducements?
Yes.

Did you offer her...
free food and drink?

Yeah, sometimes.

Did you extend her
a line of credit at all?

Occasionally, yeah.
Under what circumstances?

Well, usually,
it was after we rooted.

(Jury members gasp)

I beg your pardon?

We had an arrangement.
We rooted, what, 20 or 30 times?

I'd extend her a little credit
for the, um, pokies.

Yes.

Yes. And, and...
What can I say, ladies and gentlemen?

Such was my client's desperation,

and such is the greed of proprietors
such as Mr Short here

and his corporate masters

that they will relentlessly exploit
the vulnerability of such people

and drive them to acts of debasement.

Mr Greene!
Yeah, no, apologies, Your Honour.

Where were we?

Well, ah,
Mr Short here was just detailing

how he regularly paid Helen for sex.

(Vomits)

Justice has been done.

The gambling industry
preys on the frailties of the weak,

but now I'm strong, and I'm
very pleased to be able to say

this is the first day
of the rest of my life.

I'd like to thank my legal team,
headed up by Mr Cleaver Greene,

for never wavering and for always
having faith in my case. Thank you.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you.

Celebration?

What would we be celebrating?

Well, we kicked the gambling industry
in the arse, didn't we?

You kicked a pub in the arse,
Cleaver,

or rather, a sleazy publican
kicked himself in the arse

and created a bit of a stink.

If that's what you were after,
congratulations.

Wow, you're really
a bit of a mood killer, aren't you?

Malcolm told me you were
an advocate for social justice.

Yeah, I am, when I can be.

Maybe just when you need to be.
See ya.

I'm prepared to stump up
for a bottle of champagne.

French, of course.
Oh, I'm sure you are.

Any spurious pretext will do, won't
it? Probably get some sprinkles too.

What are you,
in the Women's Temperance League?

Wendy, Fuzz?

Where is everybody?

I've had a win.

Hello. Can I help you?

Oh, are you a friend of Wendy's?
Where's Wendy?

Fuzz's farewell.
Are you a friend of Fuzzy's?

Wendy and Roger have moved.
I have an address somewhere.

Oh, shit.

I'm sorry about the mess.

Wow.

They've really...

Fuzzy's...

Wow. Fuck.

Good evening, children.

Fuck.

You've really gone to town here,
haven't you?

This was my marital home once.

You know how I got the deposit
for this place?

A bay mare called Wide Margin.

I remember I went up to the members
and shouted the bar.

That was a huge win,
like, 40, 50 to 1.

Unexpectedly slow track, you see?
(Clicks tongue)

Wendy and I went home
and made love to Miles Davis,

Blue In Green.

She was so fucking beautiful.

Fucking beautiful girl.

She is. She is a beautiful girl.

I told her
I'd never bet again after that.

Um, I have the address here.

Blue In Green.

This is the Department
of Community Services.

We have a court order to take three
children into protective custody.

Open up, please.

Is there a parent or guardian
at home?

Um, just me and my brother
and sister.

(Sniffs)

Oh, no.

Oh, no. I did not mean, 'reply all'.
I did not mean, 'reply all'!

Oh, fuck!

What the fuck is this?

Where'd you get all this money?

I didn't get this money.

I contributed a little bit,
but this is mainly Roger's.

He's an osteopath!

How many dodgy groins do you have to
feel up to get a shack like this?

Or what, has he got family money?

He isn't just an osteopath, Cleave.
He's a sports therapist.

He's a consultant. It's a business.

Consultant, yeah. Consultant
licensed to charge four times more.

OK, do you want to ruin tonight?

Our son is going to the fucking
Congo. This isn't Fiji, Cleaver.

I want you to contemplate that.

Stop it!

Dad, come on. Stop it!

Rog! Roger?

Roger's so strong, isn't he?
So virile.

She was my wife first.

You are never to see her again,
you understand me?

Fuck you, groin boy.

And you're never to set foot
in this house again. Got it?

He's been in prison a long time,
Rog. I'm sure he's had worse.

How do you think he's doing?

I think if he doesn't stop this
madness soon, he's going to die.

I agree.

So I've been thinking...

..why don't you move in with us?

What?
He's got to stop running.

There's nothing to run to or from
if we're together.

It's the only way.

You're right, yep.

BOTH: Oh, my God.

Ah. Yeah.

What are you doing here?

KMA Half Marathon, apparently, mate.

You're off your tree.

No, I'm not. Come on. Come on.
I told you I was going to do it.

You don't want to do this.

Yes, I do, mate.
No, you don't.

Come on, you bald tool.

(Starting horn)

Come on. Come on, baby. Yeah!

Come on. Come on, Barn.
What are you doing?

Come on!

What's up?

I can't, mate.

Come on, mate. I had it in the bag.

I'm scared shitless, Cleave.

Come on, Barnyard.

You'll be alright.

I promise you.

I need your help.
Old friends of Malcolm's.

Landed themselves in some
pretty serious legal trouble.

So you broke into the building
to steal a desk,

then you didn't, and then you left
and now you're charged with murder?

Well, that's pretty much
how it happened.

Oh, Scarlet!

She said it's very nice to meet you.

Brand-new producer for the show.

Great.

You could reveal
your vulnerable side

and later, outside with the moon up,
we could kiss.

And hey presto,
we're humping away in your bed.

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