Original subtitles

I think I'm losing my business.

I think the luncheonette's going under.

I just don't want you hiding from me.

I hate mom. She's the worst.

It's so much better here with you guys.

- I got asperger's. - I don't know what to say.

So, in looking back, I think that a lot of the stuff was me.

It wasn't you.

I asked you for a raise because I think I deserve it,

and now I'm like a total piggy

and nobody's gonna want to hire me.

And I got to try to help my sister.

Max has feelings for you.

Do you think she likes me at 3 yet?

Wow. Pretty.

His face is really blue. It's cute.

- I didn't do that. - You did do that.

You did a good job.

- I did these. - You did all of those.

What should we call him?

Mom, I need to know how to ask a girl out.

What?

I need to know how to ask Dylan out

on a date outside of this house.

We've had two dates inside of the house,

but because of that, I'm worried that I am in critical danger

of falling into the friend zone.

That is not a zone that I want to be in.

Okay.

And I can't ask dad because he's still away on business,

so again I ask, how do I ask a girl out on a date?

Listen, I understand.

Are you sure that you want to do this right now?

I'm absolutely sure that I want to do this.

Maybe we should wait for dad to get back.

I'm not going to wait for dad to get back.

How do you ask a girl out?

Okay. All right.

Um... [Sighs]

- How do I ask a girl out? - Here's the thing, buddy.

Sometimes, sometimes, the problem is,

is when you ask somebody out,

you don't know how they're going to respond.

I know exactly how she's going to respond,

and that is not what I asked.

I need to know the specific protocol.

Okay.

I guess you just...

You just ask them.

You say, um,

"would you like to go out on a date?"

Okay, understood.

I'm going to go get changed.

Dad says ladies appreciate a little effort.

Are you sure you don't want to wait, Max?

Max has a girlfriend

[Sighs]

So I was talking to my mom the other day.

Yeah?

She was mentioning how her office

is looking to hire someone part-time

to help with the filing.

Well, that's very exciting.

It is,

especially since it's paying $30 an hour.

- To file? - Yep.

What are they storing down there?

Launch codes?

I know. It's a lot of money.

That's why I told her I was interested.

You're interested in filing?

I'm interested in $30 an hour.

It could really help us out.

No, no, hon, that's...

That's not fun. You don't want to do that.

Well, it's probably not going to be fun,

but it'll just be for a little while,

until the luncheonette gets back on its feet.

- No. - What's the big deal?

What you guys talking about?

Uh, we were just celebrating.

Your mom got a new job.

Oh, yay. Go, mommy.

- Baby. Mommy. - Yay.

- Now can I get an iPhone? - Go, mommy.

No.

[Indistinct arguing in distance]

No, you just... you don't believe in me!

Oh, please don't try and manipulate me!

- That's what it is, okay? - Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

What's going on? What's going on?

Dad, mom thinks I'm an idiot

and I can't spend one night alone.

I don't think that you're an idiot, Ruby.

I think that some of your friends are idiots,

and I think those idiots are going to end up at my house.

Mom, I promised you, like, 1,000 times.

I will not have any people over.

- [Scoffs] Okay. - I swear!

Yeah. Why not?

I believe her.

Thank you.

- She says it, right? - Thank you, dad.

It's nice to have one parent that actually believes in me.

Please, really? You're gonna really just sell me

up the river in this?

I just want you to tell me that you can watch Ruby

tomorrow night.

- Well, I can't. - I'm not a baby.

I don't need to be watched.

Yeah, and I got a client coming over,

so I think it'll be all right.

I have a two-day conference in Gilroy.

Now I'm gonna have to drive back at night,

unless we can find a babysitter for her.

No, we don't need a babysitter, okay?

Dad, dad, can you please tell mom that I'm 15 years old,

I'm not gonna have any people over,

and that she can believe me?

- Look, I believe her. - Really?

I'm gonna be here, anyway. I'm five minutes away.

If she gets scared or something...

okay, so it's settled. Okay.

- Yeah. - Thank you so much, dad.

- You promise, right? - Yes.

- She promises. - I swear, okay?

Both: Yeah. - Thank you.

[Scoffs]

[Lively acoustic guitar music]

Hi, Max!

Hey, I had an idea for our chemistry project.

- Where is Dylan? - I don't know.

I was thinking a watermelon volcano.

- Have you seen Dylan? - Not really. Why?

It's important that I find her.

Where's Dylan?

Uh, I saw her heading into the kitchen a few minutes ago.

That doesn't make any sense.

It's not even kitchen hours.

[Music stops]

May God bless and keep you always

and may your wishes all come true

may you always do for others

and let others do for you

may you build a ladder to the stars

and climb on every rung

and may you stay

forever young

may you grow up to be righteous

may you grow up to be true

may you always know the truth

and see the lights surrounding you

may you always be courageous

stand upright and be strong

and may you stay

forever young

may you stay

forever young

Sync and corrections by parlobrito www.addic7ed.com

You know how low we are in donations, Stephanie.

If you can give this to us, that would be amazing.

- Mom. - Yeah.

[Whispers] Hold on one second.

Yeah, exactly.

- Mom. - It's so much work.

Actually hold on a second.

You need to expel Aaron Brownstein.

Stop it. You cannot just barge in like this, okay?

You need to expel Aaron Brownstein.

I'm gonna go ahead and call you back,

but put the order in.

Okay, bye.

You cannot just barge in like that, honey.

When we're at school, I'm headmaster...

he was in the kitchen during hours

when he was not permitted to be in the kitchen.

Okay, honey, that's not really an expulsion-worthy...

he's also extremely disruptive,

unable to focus, and he has behavioral issues.

Sweetheart, every kid at this school has behavioral issues.

That is the entire point of chambers academy.

- No, mom, he broke the rules! - I need you to stop.

That should reason enough for you to expel him!

Max, babe, I need you to sit down...

this is a private school!

You don't even need a reason.

You can just expel him if you want to.

Can you just please calm down?

I can't while a student like Aaron Brownstein

is allowed to roam the halls!

[Sighs]

This is the bottle warmer here.

There is mushed-up vegetables in the fridge,

which she doesn't like,

so you're gonna have to kind of force-feed her.

Yeah, well, I think I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

Okay, hey, thank you so much for doing this.

I really appreciate it. Of course.

It's great to get in a little aida time.

Yeah, well, we'll see if you feel that way

after she screams for two hours straight.

We'll be fine.

Jasmine must be so excited about going back to work.

Yeah, she... yeah.

Yeah, okay. Is she back at Berkeley or...

Is she teaching somewhere else?

She... um, she decided not to go back into teaching,

so, yeah.

- Really? - Okay, I love you.

What's she doing?

Um, she is actually, um, filing,

administrative, you know.

Admin and filing. Filing?

- Yeah, it's a work, you know... - Really?

- Yeah. - Huh.

I mean, between you and I,

I think she was feeling a little cooped up

in the home with the baby all day,

so it's really just an excuse to get out of the house.

Yeah, sure, well, I can understand that.

Yeah, it's gonna be good for her.

She's gonna like it. I love you.

I love you. Say bye to daddy.

- Bye-bye, daddy. - Bye-bye, sweetie.

Don't all of your apple in one bite!

Seems easy enough.

This is gonna be so much fun,

you and me working together.

I know, I know.

It's gonna be great.

Thanks for making this happen, mom.

Of course.

I must admit I was little surprised

that you took the job.

I thought you didn't want to go back to work

until aida was a little older.

Okay, mom, out with it.

You don't have to dance around it.

Dance around what?

Well, Jasmine, I know that being a file clerk

is not your dream, so I'm not gonna pretend

that I'm not a little worried.

Well, you don't have to worry.

You know, things are just a little bumpy

at the luncheonette.

That's all. How bumpy?

Jasmine, I am your mother,

and if you are having financial problems...

We're not having problems yet,

but Crosby's optimistic things will turn around.

Honestly, I don't... I don't know.

- Hey, Ben. - Hey, Renee. There's that.

Is this your daughter? It certainly is.

Jasmine, this is Ben.

He's one of our senior accountants.

- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Very nice to meet you.

I just wanted to tell you how amazing your mother is.

She is. She is.

She's our rock star around here.

She is.

Hope you'll be here for the long haul too, though.

Thanks, Renee. Thanks, Ben.

What? This is too good for you?

I didn't say that.

All right.

We might be doing this for 10, 20 years together, girl.

- You got benefits? - [Laughs]

[Strums minor chord]

Does your cat like his food

or does he push it away

with his little paw

and act really rude

Both:

meow, meow, meow

that's the sound of a hungry cat

Both:

meow, meow, meow

This is demoralizing.

Yeah, well, this is what you get

when you have to pivot your business model.

It's a lot of jingles.

It's really bad, Amber.

Thank you for inviting me to hear this.

Yeah, mm-hmm. Enjoy.

Well, at least it's a paycheck, you know?

- Yeah. - It is a paycheck.

Can you please Google what the strongest painkiller

a pregnant person can take is?

Hold on, I got to wait for my econ grade to load.

- Econ? - Yeah.

Why would you take econ?

You're, like, really bad at math.

I'm not bad at math.

Yes, you are. You're famously bad at it.

- I'm very good at math. - No, no.

Everyone in the family knows you're bad at math.

If you're good at math,

multiply $478 an hour times three hours,

so we know how much we're selling our souls

for this session.

By the way, didn't you know that it was $300?

- What do you mean it's $300? - Yeah.

- $1,434, by the way. - What'd you guys think?

- Adam gave them a special rate. - A special rate for this?

It should be twice as much for this.

- Hello? - Not special rate.

We couldn't get 'em in the door otherwise.

- What? Huh? - Did you like it?

Wow. Just, wow.

It was really something.

You know, it felt the same way in here.

Let's go again! Yeah, let's do it again.

Well, we could land on the moon ten more times,

but, you know, the flag's already planted, so...

- Wow. Both: Yeah.

Take a flyer.

Expel Aaron Brownstein.

He's a menace to our society at large.

Hey, Max, what are you doing?

Here. Expel Aaron Brownstein.

I took my problems to the administration,

but they ignored my voice, so I'm taking it to the people.

Yo, man, the administration is your mom.

I'm very well aware that the administration is my mom.

Hey, asperger's.

You running for mayor or something?

It's important that everyone know

exactly what kind of student Aaron Brownstein is.

Yeah, he's a freak. We're all freaks, Max.

That's the point of this school. No, he's worse.

He is a menace, and he deserves expulsion.

- Hey. - Here, take a flyer.

What the hell is your problem, Braverman?

Problems. Plural.

They are clearly listed in this flyer.

Get those papers out of my face.

- What is wrong with you? - You're such a little bitch.

Excuse me?

Calls students derogatory names.

Okay, Max, you don't have a problem when I call you...

yeah, no, he called me a "little bitch,"

were his exact words. Okay, okay, I heard it, okay.

Get out of my face!

Okay, everybody, can we please just settle...

no!

Max, you're being a little too asperger's.

Aaron, you're being a little too ADHD.

I'm gonna kick your ass, Braverman!

Please stop!

Can we all just...

can you guys please just stop?

Get out of here!

Stop. Stop. Max, stop it!

Stop it! Stop it!

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop!

Both of you. Max!

Max! Stop it!

What is happening? He started it.

I don't care who started it.

Get in my office. No!

Get in my office right now,

both of you.

Aaron, go.

What?

"Excessive PDA"? What does this even mean?

He was kissing Dylan. (PDA Public Display of Affection)

Honey.

Honey, get in my office, please.

[Flyers smack on floor]

Get back to class, and pick this up, please.

[Breathes deeply]

Aaron, you can go back to class.

Hey, Max, um...

We have to talk about this, buddy.

What just happened can't...

Everything in the flyer is true.

I don't really want to talk about the flyer, babe.

I...

Look, I know

how you feel about Dylan, and I know...

As Headmaster, my personal feelings are not your concern.

But, buddy, I'm your mom too, you know?

And I know that your feelings are really hurt.

I know that.

I don't want to talk about it.

Okay.

Am I in trouble for distributing the flyer?

No, honey, you're not in trouble.

Can I go to class?

You can go to class.

[Gentle piano music]

[The ramones blitzkrieg bop playing]

hey, ho

let's go

hey, ho

let's go

hey, ho

let's go

hey, ho

let's go

they're forming in a straight line

they're going through a tight wind

[Music stops]

Hey!

You just scared the crap out of me.

You're scaring me.

I'm worried. Should I be worried?

- You should knock... - I should knock.

- Before you just barge in. - Okay.

I'm trying to cleanse this place

with a little punk rock

after that cat endeavor we went through.

Yeah, that was bad.

Whoo! I think I hurt my neck.

Well...

If you liked the cat commercial,

you're gonna love this.

Just got a call from Adam.

Oh, boy.

We got ourselves a toothpaste commercial, baby.

- Oh. - That's right.

Oh, tell me it's a brightening one.

Obviously it's a brightening one.

We're not chumps!

Oh, by the way, at the reduced rate!

Let me guess, a reduced rate!

Both: Yay!

- Oh, my God. - Ay-yi-yi.

I don't want to record toothpaste commercials.

I want to record the Foo Fighters and metallica

or, you know, something.

Yeah, me too.

Hey, I...

I had this crazy idea.

Okay, just hear me out.

I heard this band, and they're called cornfed,

which is the grossest name. Oh, yeah.

They're really good. Terrible, terrible name.

- Yeah, but they're good, right? - Uh-huh.

And so I did some digging,

and it turns out they're looking at recording at bayview.

- At bayview? - I know.

Why not just record in the back of a cleaning van?

I mean, that is... [Laughs] I know.

I feel the same way. That place is the worst.

But so check it out, okay.

They're playing tonight,

and I think that we should go there.

We'll go down to the elbo room, you and me,

and we'll be really passionate...

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

I have a dinner date with my mother-in-law,

which is...

Okay, first of all... [Snores]

And second of all, does it start at 11:00 P.M.?

Because that's when they go on. 11:00 P.M.?

That's almost midnight.

I can't go out at midnight.

What are you? Uncle Adam?

What's going on? I am not Adam.

- You are Adam. - No.

Look, I know that we're tired and we're stressed

and we have a lot of stuff going on,

but, you know, I didn't come here

and join a rock and roll studio to play it safe,

and I don't think that you did either.

You know, we're losing our soul here,

and if you, our creative heart of this whole studio,

can't go out past midnight,

then, like, we're doomed.

Come on. Do this with me.

Have this adventure.

- Okay. - Yeah? You in?

- I'm in. - Yeah.

I'm in. Pregnant girl and the dad.

- What a team. - Let's party Hardy.

They'll never see us coming.

[Camera shutter clicks]

Okay, um...

Danielle, can you just get

a little of that off the forehead?

There's a little shine there.

Gonna be one minute.

Everything looks good, though.

- Hey, dad. - Hey. How's it going?

Yeah, everything's fine.

There's a real housewives marathon on TV,

so my night is made.

Okay, good.

Well, um, you know, if you get spooked or anything,

I'm right here.

I'm just a phone call away, so...

That's... that's really sweet, but I'm fine.

Okay. Hey, what's that?

[Indistinct chatter]

- What? - What was that?

I heard something. I heard voices.

The maybe it's the TV or something.

I didn't hear anything. Sounded like people.

Dad, you sound like mom.

Okay, I made you a promise.

I'm not gonna have any people over, and I'm not.

- I know. - Okay.

I know.

All right, I love you.

Okay, I love you... [Phone clicks]

Too.

William!

[Indistinct chatter] Hey!

Hey. Oh, my God.

I was so proud of Jasmine at work today.

[Chuckles]

She said you guys had a great time.

Both: Mm-hmm.

I know it's not your dream job,

but, you know, you do what you have to do in this economy.

Yeah.

I mean, this economy has been hard

on a lot of people.

I was talking to a girlfriend at church,

and her son just got his real estate license.

Mm. That's great.

I guess you don't have to have previous experience.

He just sold his first house.

Really?

Good for him. I thought so.

Apparently the market has turned around completely.

So, I mean, I don't know if you'd be interested,

but if you want to hear more about it,

I can put you in touch.

You know, I'm good,

but thanks for thinking of me.

Yeah, mom, Crosby is pretty busy as it is.

Yeah, with the business I own.

Yeah, mom, Crosby you know, the studio.

Well, I wasn't talking about leaving the studio.

I mean, that's your dream, right?

Oh, okay.

- While things are slow... - Uh-huh.

It might be nice, comforting,

to have a little something on the side.

Yeah, you know, show houses on my lunch break

or maybe at night.

Some night showings. No, weekends.

Oh. Great.

Great idea.

I think he made $20,000 or $30,000.

I mean, that's something to think about.

No, mom.

What? Did I say something wrong?

[Thumping dance music]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone buzzes]

I I have to take this.

Yeah, hi, Hank.

Yeah, hi. She lied to me.

Ruby lied to me. It is... it's a party.

Right now. Right now in your house.

- Oh, crap. - Yeah, it's big.

It's big.

There's a keg. There's a keg right there.

I'm watching the keg going in the house right now,

and... I don't know what that is.

Marijuana paraphernalia. I can't tell at this distance.

- Where are you? - I'm just... the stree.

Wait, hold on. Hold on.

It is. It's marijuana paraphernalia.

Well, get...

get in there and bust it up.

What are you doing?

Ino. I just...

I can't go in there, 'cause...

Yes, you can.

You go in and you say, "get the hell out."

Yeah, but then she's gonna think that I don't trust her.

Yeah, because you didn't.

But we're in a good place now, me and her.

Hank, there is a keg in my house,

and I need you to get it out.

She said, "I love you, dad." Okay?

You know, she doesn't say that a lot.

Oh, that's her.

Oh, my God. You made it.

[Laughs] Oh, yes.

Oh, God. I don't know what to do.

I know.

You never did. It's fine.

I'm on my way home.

wake up to the sunlight

[Knock on door] One sec.

Okay. Hi, Mrs. Braverman.

Hey.

Um...

Come on in. Thanks.

- Hi. - Hi.

Do you want me to get Max?

No, no. Can I...

can I just... can I talk to you?

- Yeah, of course. - Okay.

How did you get here?

I just... I rode my bike.

Oh, okay. It's just late, so...

Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay. What's going on?

Um, you've... you heard about me and Aaron.

Yeah, I've heard.

Is Max... Is Max upset?

He was. He is.

He's upset.

He keeps asking you I like Aaron,

and I don't really know what to say.

I just... I like him.

I just like him, and...

And then Max keeps talking about

how the scale of affection is fluid

and how someday I'm gonna like him at a 5 or whatever.

I don't... I don't know.

I'm really sorry.

I'm never...

I'm never gonna like Max, like, in that way.

That's okay. That's how it goes.

Yeah, I didn't want to hurt Max.

I know that you didn't,

and he'll get through it.

It's not... Okay.

- It's okay. - Yeah, I'm...

I'm really, really...

hey, asperger's. Hi, bud.

What is she doing here?

- Um, I'm your friend. - She came by to...

Both: Hang out.

- Hang out like friends. - Yeah.

We're not friends.

[Somber acoustic guitar music]

Oh, um...

- Amber? - Hi.

- Hey. - Help me up.

Your roommate told me you were here.

Ow!

- You okay? - Yeah.

So I am here to steal you away

for a surprise date night.

Oh, Amber, I can't. Sorry.

I can't go on a date night. Wait.

You don't even know what this date night entails.

Big stuff. Yeah, well, I have

an economics re-test to take tomorrow now, so...

Okay, yeah, I know. School, school, school, school.

But check this out. Yes, school.

We're gonna go to the elbo room.

We're gonna see this amazing band.

We can go, like, backstage

and talk to them and stuff because I might sign them.

This could be, like, my big break and everything.

It's gonna be a whole adventure.

That sounds great. I just can't go.

- Why? - Because I have a re-test,

which means I didn't do good.

He's letting me redo it tomorrow.

But you can go for a little bit.

You know full well we're not gonna go for a little bit.

- No, we will. - Amber.

Come on. What?

No. I can't go.

Okay, but it's kind of, like, important for me,

because this could be, like, the last time...

this is kind of important for me.

But, Drew this could be the last time

that you and I get to, like, go out and be crazy and stuff...

- What does that even mean? - Before I have a baby.

Yeah, exactly. You're about to have a baby.

You're about to lose your job.

You know how much money it takes to raise a kid?

And mom doesn't have any money either,

so someone has to make some money,

which is what I'm trying to do.

All: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

[All cheering]

[Thumping dance music]

Ruby.

Ruby!

- Dad? - Hi.

I'm Ruby's dad!

I'm the dad. That means get out.

Now. Let's go!

[Music stops] Out now!

Yeah, let's go. Let's go, breakfast club.

Beat it. Bye.

Put it down, jughead.

[Somber acoustic guitar music]

Hmm.

What are you doing?

I told you Amber and I got to go to the club

to hustle that band.

Yeah, I know, but what's up with the pot?

I mean, it's Tuesday.

[Laughs]

Oh, 'Ron a no pot on Tuesdays rule now?

No more motorcycle. I need a different career.

And now no weed on tues... Here we go.

Okay, yeah, have it all.

- I don't want that. - Take it.

- No. - Weed police.

Please. What... what's wrong with you?

Hey!

Honey, you went and told your mother

that I'm having financial problems.

You know how emasculating that is?

Oh, come on, I took a crappy desk job.

It doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

And we are having troubles.

- Yeah, uh-huh, yeah. - We, you and I.

- Yeah, oh, believe me. - It's not just you.

Yeah, I know it's not just me.

I know that there are four people I'm failing right now.

You, aida, Jabbar, me.

I'm not providing. I get it.

And we're all in this together!

- Okay. - Why can't you get that?

All right, you know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna take your mom's advice.

We're gonna be a husband and wife real estate team.

Oh, come on.

Let's get our faces on park benches.

That'll be great.

This is what I do.

This is how I provide for the family.

It's interesting bunch of friends you got there.

A couple weirdoes.

Older kids.

Yeah, I really don't know how they all showed up.

I only invited, like, a couple people.

- Yeah. - Like, four people.

And then... I don't know.

That's how these parties go, you know.

See? Yeah, yeah.

You get it.

I mean, mom would totally not get it,

and she would, like, yell at me and...

Yeah, well...

You're not gonna tell her, are you?

Please. She already knows.

Are you kidding? Wait. You told her?

- What do you think? - You didn't...

no, you have to... Just clean up.

You have to call her and tell her

that it wasn't that big of a deal,

that it was just me and, like, a couple friends.

What do you mean? It's obviously a big deal!

There's... look around!

There's a keg in the bathtub.

Why are you getting so mad at me?

- 'Cause you lied to me! - I told you...

you lied to me! I trusted you.

Then you told me that you loved me,

which obviously was to manipulate me,

and it did.

I'm going to bed.

No, you're not going to bed.

Ruby, we got to clean this up, Ruby!

Ruby! Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I told you I loved you just to manipulate you, okay?

Because I really don't love you...

At all.

I hate you.

[Cable car bell dinging]

[Indistinct chatter]

- Seriously? - Oh, oh, oh.

Hey, hey. Thank God. Hi.

- So sorry I was late. - No, no, no.

It's fine. It's fine. I just...

I'm so embarrassed being pregnant here.

- About what? - What do you mean?

- You look so cute. - No, I don't.

There will be chubby chasers here.

This is a very eclectic club.

No, it's embarrassing.

Like, what am I doing out at a club?

- That's not the attitude. - Ay-yi-yi.

- Okay. We're going in. - Hope that's true.

- Arms out real quick. - Huh?

- Arms out. - You didn't frisk anyone else.

What are you... oh! Why are you touching me, man?

Is Obama inside or...

- What's that? - It's weed, yeah.

It's my medicine, because I have glaucoma.

I want to be able to see the show.

All right, well, you can't take it in there.

Crosby, did you bring weed here?

We're in San Francisco.

I can't bring some grass in there?

Okay, well, look, if you want to come in the club,

you can throw this away and I'll let you in the club.

I'm a dad of two.

I have a mortgage, I have a crazy mother-in-law,

and this is my night to go in there,

burn a little leaf in the toilet,

and relax.

How about you let me do that?

I'll just go in, and we'll do that.

Whoa. Are you gonna be a problem?

- Ow, ow, ow. - Am I gonna be a problem?

No, I'm not a problem. Just let me in.

- No. - Oh, I'm a problem.

- Hey, old guy. - Huh?

Old guy! Move it along.

- Okay. - Crosby...

Why don't you pipe down, all right?

- Crosby, chill. - Move it along!

Soundgarden broke up! They're not playing tonight!

Okay, one direction's not playing either,

so you're in the wrong line.

Listen to me... Crosby.

Go ahead and get all your... whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Crosby, something's wrong. - What?

Maybe I'm having the baby or something.

I got to go. Okay.

Get me to the hospital right now.

You guys are lucky. Oh, oh!

- Come on. Come on. - You're a loser.

- Crosby! - You are a loser.

You just got saved by a pregnancy, bud.

- Crosby. - Thank your lucky stars.

- Crosby, come on! - All right, bud?

You all right? You need me to carry you?

- [Moans] - Okay, we're here.

Ow.

I'm gonna find you somebody, all right?

- It hurts so bad. - Okay, listen.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

We have a pregnancy situation here.

What's going on?

A really bad pain or a cramp or something.

Okay, let's get you looked at.

Feels like another one's coming.

Okay, do you want me to call your mom?

Ow! No, it's fine.

- All right. - She's in Napa.

She can't do anything anyway.

Okay. How about Drew?

Should I get Drew on the phone?

Um, no, I don't want to stress him out.

It's fine. Okay.

So... You're gonna be fine. We're here.

And then I stay... Where do you want me?

- Crosby! - Okay. All right.

We'll get you in the room.

[Plastic cup rattles on ground]

Hank.

Hey. Uh, they're all gone.

All the kids are gone. I got 'em all out,

and I cleaned up the whole place,

so don't worry. It's all clean.

Thank you. Where's Ruby?

She is asleep...

And hating me.

It's not funny. No, it's no joke.

I mean, she actually said it. She said those words.

She said, "I hate you, dad."

Well, I'm sure she didn't mean it.

I'm pretty sure that she did.

It sounded like she did.

Yeah, she probably did mean it.

Are you happy? I don't get it.

What are you... is this like an asperger's thing

that I can't... No, no.

I'm livid, actually, but with Ruby.

I feel like this is the first time

I'm not on my own in this,

and it's nice.

Yeah.

What do we do now, though?

We got to punish her? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

We are gonna ground her ass to the wall.

- Yeah. - Three weeks.

- Three weeks. - Minimum.

We could discuss it over a drink.

Did the kids bring anything good?

Actually there's a bottle of Brandy.

[Chuckles] Ooh.

BlackBerry Brandy. Remember that?

- That'll do. - Yeah, crack that open.

I feel like getting drunk.

[Groans]

Oh, yeah.

That tastes like high school.

[Chuckles]

I got to tell you, though, when...

When she said "I hate you,"

even if she didn't mean it,

it hurt.

[Chuckles] Yeah.

I know.

She won't in the morning.

- This is hard. - [Laughs]

I know.

I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

Yeah.

Braxton Hicks contractions are very common,

and I see nothing you need to worry about.

How are you feeling? Much better, thanks.

Good.

We're just gonna run a few more tests,

and then you should be able to go home shortly.

- Great. - Thanks.

That's a huge relief. Yeah, thank you.

It was a little scary on the car ride.

Yeah, sorry.

Just...

I dragged you out and then ruined our big night out.

Huh? No, no, no, no.

It ended up like this.

Are you kidding? Don't be sorry.

Are you...

the only jerk tonight was that big galoot

who stole my dime bag of weed.

- [Laughs] - Okay?

- Crosby. - I'm on a budget right now.

I can't be donating weed to door guys.

I can get you plenty of weed. It's not a problem.

Seriously, though, I... I ruined our chance

at getting that band to record at the luncheonette,

and are we gonna be okay without that?

Amber, it's... first of all, it's not on you

to save the luncheonette.

That's Adam and I's job,

so don't take that on.

And you need to be prepared for the possibility

that it might not be saveable.

Crosby, no, you can't say that.

Crosby, please.

Don't walk away from this yet.

I know we can still fix it.

We love the luncheonette.

I know.

I do too, but, you know...

There are certain realities that are going on right now,

and you're about to find out what I'm dealing with,

which is, you know, you get... you're responsible for people

and they're counting on you, and you got to support 'em,

so... Crosby.

I can't promise I'm gonna go down with the ship,

if that's what's happening.

No, don't give up. Please.

This is the luncheonette.

This is, like, our passion.

Please don't walk away from it just yet.

I really think we can still fix it.

[Indistinct chatter]

Hello, Dylan.

I've been thinking, and it makes absolutely no sense

that you would like Aaron.

You and I have more common interests than you and him,

and also I am taller than him,

- yeah, okay, Max... - So the only reason

I can think that you like him instead of me is that I have not

properly expressed the nature of my feelings for you.

- No, that's not... - As such,

I've made you this incredible and romantic gift.

[Laughter]

Oh, my gosh.

That is fantastic.

As you can see, I've incorporated horses

into this collage, as I know you like horses

from this drawing that you made. Right.

Yeah, I see. Also, these are photos of you.

Some of them are candid, some of them staged,

and it shows my photography at its best.

- Dylan, this is so romantic. - So romantic.

It is an incredibly romantic gift,

and as you can see, I like you very much,

and I want you to be my girlfriend.

Yeah, um, it's...

- It's completely creepy. - Yeah.

I don't care about what you two think.

Do you like it? I can't take this, Max.

I can't... I can't take this. Of course you can.

If it helps, I can also express my feelings for you verbally.

- No, that's okay. - Oh, I totally wanna hear this.

- No, that's fine. - No, please, go ahead.

I enjoy the way you talk to me and the way

that your hair smells. Okay.

Max, can you please stop? Her hair smells really good.

Also you have incredibly blue, pretty eyes.

- Max, can you please... - I've been told to compliment

your eyes and your smile, from the Internet.

Max, please stop.

- It does not make any sense! - That's not the point, Max.

I just... can you please stop? Please.

- No, I'm not going to stop. - Please! Will...

it doesn't make any sense

that you like him more than you like me.

- Max. - Especially with this.

Also I input all of our compatibility matches

into an Internet matchmaker,

and it told me that... That's not...

Max, buddy, can you come in my office

for a second, please? No, I'm not coming...

- I need to talk to you. - Lunch is not over,

and I am not done expressing my love for Dylan.

Max, Max, I don't... I don't love you back.

Okay? Why?

I don't know how to explain it.

- Then what is it about? - I don't know, Max!

I don't understand!

Max, I will never love you, okay?

Please, just leave me alone!

[Dramatic acoustic guitar music]

Max.

Max! [Horn honks]

Max! [Tires screech]

What the hell is wrong with you?

Are you kidding me?

Max, buddy.

[Panting]

Buddy. You can't do that to me, okay?

Can we talk about this? I just want...

I don't want to talk about it.

I know you don't want to talk about it.

Well, can you just please listen?

I know you're embarrassed, and I know that you're hurt,

okay, and that's totally normal.

But I just want to tell you

that I...

I am so incredibly proud of you.

What you did up there took so much courage,

and I thought that your collage was absolutely beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

Dylan's friend said it was creepy.

It's not creepy.

There was nothing about that that was creepy, honey.

You just showed your emotions,

and you know how many people can't do that?

It conveyed everything that you're feeling inside.

I had no idea you were feeling all those things,

and it's just...

Buddy, listen.

I know that it sucks right now,

and I know that you're mad

because Dylan doesn't feel the same way about you

that you do her, but...

I got to tell you,

I guarantee that someday very soon

you're gonna have all these emotions again,

and it's gonna be for the right girl,

and you know how you're gonna know it's the right girl?

Because that girl is gonna like you the same way back.

I can guarantee you.

So I don't want you to get down

and I don't want you to get upset,

'cause what you did was truly amazing.

Doesn't feel amazing.

I know.

- Hey. - Hi.

Can I talk to you for a second?

I know you're busy. Oh, it's fine.

Okay.

Oh, God. What's up?

Oh, man. I'm so sweaty.

- You're very pregnant. - [Laughs]

So this is gonna sound dramatic,

but I had to go to the hospital last night.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- The baby's fine? - Yeah, it's fine.

I just had this, like, really bad pain,

and it turned out to be nothing,

but still it was scary, you know, and...

- Yeah. - And I wanted to call you,

like, obviously right away,

but... Yeah.

Like, I didn't want to stress you out,

and you've been so flipped out over this whole thing,

and I just didn't want to, like, push you over the edge.

No, okay, if you go to the hospital, you have to call me.

I know, and I don't want to have

there be any weird financial stress between us.

Yeah.

It's something I have to figure out.

Not... not you.

- That's what I'm trying to do. - Is it?

- Yeah. - With economics?

Okay.

It's not a lot of magic involved.

Economics is vaguely enjoyable.

It's not terrible. Vaguely enjoyable.

- Yes. - Hmm, that's a rave review

to base the rest of your entire life on.

But you know what I'm saying.

I don't,

and frankly I don't want you to waste any time

on something that you don't really love.

- I won't. - I'm serious.

Me too, yeah.

- Yes. - I promise.

Okay.

Thanks.

- Hey. - Hey.

I present to you our grounded teenage daughter.

May you fair better with her than I did.

Ruby, I will see you tomorrow, okay?

Please try not to make your dad's life miserable.

- Okay. - Okay.

Good luck. Yeah.

- Be strong. - I'll be all right.

- Bye, guys. - All right.

- Bye. - Bye-bye.

- What? - Nothing. Nothing.

Just surprised you didn't run in your room already.

Slam the door.

Well, I can't watch TV or go online

or talk to my friends, so...

I hope you're prepared to entertain me.

Well, you don't need any of that stuff.

We're gonna figure something to do.

Do whatever you want.

You want to, uh...

how about a puzzle?

You want to do a puzzle?

- That... - No?

That's like when I was ten, dad.

Yeah, no, I know. Um...

Cards. Wanna play some cards?

Okay. What game, though?

Any game you want. I mean, I know poker the best.

Do you know poker? No.

- Well, want to learn it? - Okay.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

All right, I'll learn poker. You should know.

Yeah, that's good. Every kid should know poker.

All right, good. I'll teach you...

Texas hold'em. Okay.

Don't tell your mom.

Tell your mom we did a puzzle, all right?

Okay.

All right, so this is Texas hold'em.

We're gonna give you some chips.

This is gonna be your money.

Like, I'm gonna give you ten of these.

Each one's a dollar, and I'll take ten,

and when you run out, you owe me $10.

- No, I'm not... - Yeah.

I'm not gonna let you win, though.

No, you took my privileges.

You can't take my money too.

Well, it's my money, anyway, really, right?

So we'll just do it that way. Okay.

- Okay, we get two cards each. - Okay.

These aren't good, though. Wait, can I get more?

No, you don't do that. See, you don't do that in poker.

You just keep a straight face.

You don't... you don't show any emotion.

Okay.

So then you're really good at it then.

[Chuckles] That's funny.

That's a joke, right? [Laughs] Yes.

Catch me

I don't even know...

[Knock at door]

- Hey. - Hey.

- So I get back from work about 4:00.

Maybe we can take the kids for some ice cream later?

- Yeah. - Good.

Honey, I hate that you're doing this.

I don't.

I'm doing what we have to do for the family.

Yeah, but...

I hate that you have to do this.

It's not like you wanted to do this.

I feel like such a failure.

Why, baby?

Because...

I... you know.

We took all this risk at the luncheonette,

and we stupidly followed this dream,

and I should have been playing it way more safe.

I should have sold the luncheonette

when I had the chance

and just worked in taking care of everybody, and...

I'm sorry, I just really regret that I...

My appetite was that big.

Well, you shouldn't,

because it's not a stupid dream,

and I can do some providing too, you know?

It's okay. You know-clearly.

Yeah.

But, you know, you have dreams too.

You want to open a dance studio.

You don't want to file documents all day.

No, and I'm not, forever.

We'll all get our time to shine, baby.

It's okay.

I love you.

I love you.

And I believe in you.

Give me some sugar.

My love floats like a feather in the wind

catch me if you can

catch me

Sync and corrections by parlobrito www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0