All language subtitles for Parenthood s06e02 Happy Birthday, Zeek.eng

Millie, I just
stood up too fast.

We're gonna take you back
to the hospital

to sort this out... you basically
had a heart attack.

I had an event,
and the event is over.

I didn't realize
I was so upset.

Your mom spent every ounce
of her energy making this dream

happen for you and other kids
like you.

I'm pregnant.

Oh.

So... um...

Who?

- Ryan.
- Right.

Right.

How?

- What?
- Uh...

In the...
He was in the hospital.

- Yeah, he was.
- Okay, right.

How long?
How far along?

Like two months.

So you're keeping it?

I know it seems crazy.

I know it's crazy, but I...

- You're keeping it.
- I want to keep it.

- Yeah.
- I want to... it's my...

I think it's right.

Good.

I think it's right.

Good.

[Phone buzzes]

Hey.
Everything okay?

Hey.
Am I catching you at a bad time?

No. I just
came into the office early.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I was just thinking we
should talk about,

you know, this email from Syd's
teacher.

I didn't see it. What's up?

Well, evidently,

there's some sort of girl drama
going down at school.

I talked to Syd about it.

She said there's this new girl
that's been picking on her.

- Oh, no. What?
- Yeah.

Well, believe me,
I was ready to go

kick some little girl's butt.

But according to Syd,
it's no big deal.

Mrs. Reese probably just wants
us to know she's on top of it.

But she does want to see us,
though.

Or, you know, one of us.

Just schedule it.
I'll make it happen.

Okay, all right.
I'll talk to you later.

Thanks.

Everything okay?

Here's your breakfast.

- No.
- Yummy, yum, yum.

Okay, you don't
have to have that.

- Eggies are ready.
- I got to get out of here.

- Here, baby.
- 'Scuse me.

Here, Nora.
Mmm, they're hot, so be careful.

- You got a phone call.
- Who is it?

- Emily Miller.
- That's Edgar's mom.

Why is she calling
at this hour?

I have no idea.
Probably because

you gave your phone number
to every single parent

and told them
to call at any hour.

One second, hold on.
Yeah, I can talk. The eggs.

Hold on.
All right.

Yeah, no problem.

Ah, Max.
Want your eggs?

I can't talk about eggs
right now.

Why not?

Because I've decided
on an art elective.

You have?
Hallelujah.

Finally. What's it gonna be?
Photography.

No, photography
is not an option.

You run the school.
Make it an option.

We can absolutely address this.

Technically, your mother
runs the school.

Your problem is our problem.

Then she should make
it an option.

There are your eggs.
Honey, I got to go.

I'll see you later.

Just wait one second.
I will discuss this

with my husband right now.

Thank you, okay.
Bye, Emily.

Okay, Edgar's nutritionist
wants to take him off casein

and gluten.
Okay. Well, I'm glad

she called us at 7:00 A.M.
to tell us that.

Well, she had to, because it
reflects in his school lunches,

which we have to help manage.

- Good luck with that.
- No, please.

Can you please do me a favor?

No, no, no, no, I can't.

You don't even know
what I'm gonna ask you.

I do know
what you're gonna ask me.

What do you know?

You're gonna ask me
to call the lunch vendor,

and I'm slammed today already.
I got to go.

And you're right.
But you're so good at it.

Only because I don't ask them
to do crazy things,

like take all the casein
out of one kid's lunch.

- It's "case-in."
- It's "cay-seen."

- Why did we found this school?
- To be a fascist institution.

To meet the needs
of every student.

It's not fascist.

It's capitalism.
No, that's fascism.

It's all
we can afford right now, okay?

Three electives.
You founded chambers academy

to meet the needs
of every student.

My artistic needs
are not being met.

I don't want to interfere
with this student-headmaster

conference,
so I'm gonna take off.

I love you.
I'll see you.

So you'll call the vendor?

I'm late.

I got to go. I can't hear you.

You're gonna do it.
[Door closes]

Guys, take a second
and acknowledge this moment.

Don't let it pass you by.

You're about to lay down
your debut track

on hallowed ground,

in a place where legends
were made of songwriters,

where icons were made
out of singers. Okay?

You're sitting, right now,

where Janis joplin
actually recorded.

Who's Janis joplin?

You know what,
out of my studio.

Go on and just get out.

I'm just kidding.
It's not your fault.

It's your mother's fault.
Listen to me.

Guys, all you have to do
is sing in your normal voices.

The mics will pick it up.
Just remember your motivation,

which is?
Be cute...

Especially you, Max...

And wish your grandfather a
very, very happy 72nd birthday.

We should record his birthday
song with a full band.

Okay, you know what,
when he turns 80, we'll do that,

the whole thing.
Any questions?

Can you sign a form
stating that this counts

as my art elective?
That's absurd.

I cannot do that.
Then I am not singing.

- Here we go, five, six...
- I'm not gonna sing.

Seven, eight...

All:

Okay.

Your diagnostics
show multiple blockages.

But I still don't think
that's what caused you

to collapse.

I also saw some significant
mitral regurgitation.

Not an ideal situation.

Guys,
we spent the last two years

working with just diet
and medication.

Yeah, but he could still
do a lot better with the diet.

Oh, I don't know.
Yeah, I mean, but I quit cigars.

That's a big deal.
And that's great.

But even with the perfect diet,
it's just not gonna be enough.

I'm afraid it's time
to talk about surgery.

Oh, man.

See, surgery was always
a last option in your opinion.

It is. And it's time
to seriously consider it.

This was no big deal.

I mean, was short of breath.

I stood up too fast.
That's all.

No.
You were just lucky.

Lucky you weren't alone
when it happened

and lucky it was
just a clean fall.

Leland,
it was not that big a deal.

Zeek, this will happen again.

And if you're driving
when it does,

or you smack your head
on the pavement when you fall,

then, my friend,
been nice knowing you.

Sync and corrections by parlobrito
www.addic7ed.com

so, what are you thinking?

I'm thinking that leland
would like to buy himself

a new vacation place
is what I'm thinking.

That's ridiculous.

I'm thinking
we need to have a conversation.

- Uh-huh. Okay.
- Yeah.

- There you go.
- No, I'm driving.

No, I'm driving.
I'm driving.

Gosh.

Take away my driving privileges,
my God.

But he was in a full body cast.

I don't really want
to think about the details

as much as you apparently do.
We were there.

- We weren't there.
- We would've heard something.

Why would we have heard them?

We were in a hotel,
like, a million miles away.

You know, he was attached
to a heart monitor.

That would've been going off.

Look, all I know
is that my daughter's pregnant.

And she was so scared too.
She was so scared to tell me.

And I just froze.

I-I bet she dreamed
of this wonderful moment

where she tells her mom
this exciting news,

and I totally let her down.

I just said, "oh."

He was in traction,

you know.
Maybe that helps.

Oh, my God, it's not the point.

I know.
I know, I know, I know, I know.

How do you...

How do you really feel
about it?

I think...

I think it doesn't matter
what I feel.

She needs me.

- Hey, Crosby.
- What?

- You're gonna
have to do the 11:00 A.M.

Oliver Rome thing by yourself.

I got to go, all right?

What, are you putting school
ahead of luncheonette again?

You can't do that, man.

This isn't
about the luncheonette.

This is about our father.

I have to go talk to our dad.

- For what?
- He's a stubborn ass.

Mom said he won't even
consider having the surgery.

- What surgery?
- His heart surgery,

to correct his mitral
regurgitation; I got to go.

You're saying that
like I know what that is.

I never heard that.

How do you not know about this?

Dad's having heart surgery?

He's refusing
to have the heart surgery.

I thought Mom told you
about this.

Mom did not tell me about this,

which is the pattern
of behavior

where she treats me
like the baby,

and she hides this kind
of medical situation.

Can we not make this about you
right now? This is serious.

How would I know it's serious?
Nobody's telling me a thing.

Okay, I got to go.

Tell me what happened
before you go!

You can't be in that big
of a hurry!

The cardiologist wants to do
a coronary bypass

and a mitral valve replacement,
okay?

That's open-heart surgery.

Yes, I know, and that's
why I'm gonna go talk to him.

- Well, he's got to do it.
- Yeah, he is gonna do it.

I'm gonna make him do it.
I'm gonna talk to him.

You're gonna stay here.
I'm going with you.

I don't need you
to come with me.

Yes, I'm coming with you.
It's our father.

He's got you wrapped
around his little finger.

He's gonna try
and get you to flip to his side.

You'll do it in two seconds.
That is not true.

- It is true.
- That is not true.

I will be the hammer.
You'll be quiet.

I will do all the talking.

Hey, Jim.
How are you?

You're here...
Do you know what this is?

Yes, this is the email
I sent you about Edgar Miller

and the casein and...
Do you know what this is?

This is our contract, yes,
for the chambers academy.

Correct again.

Why are you doing that?
That was really rude.

Why are you breaking things?

Every single day there's
some crazy new request from you.

No gluten, no dairy,
vegetables only, meat only.

I can't make individualized
meals for 40 kids.

Okay, but your company
is called select lunch.

You even have it on your emblem.
You have an apple.

You have a carrot.
What are you doing?

Please, Jim, can you just
help me for this week?

That's it.
I just can't work with you.

I can work with you.

I'm desperate here.
You know what, fine, leave.

I will find somebody else
that will help me.

That care...
That care about children.

Oh,
I don't care about kids, huh?

And their intestinal tract
and how they feel.

- Is that right?
- You should just leave then.

You're causing a scene.
I will find somebody else

that will do
individualized meals.

- I'm causing a scene?
- You're causing a scene.

Hey, kids, look up.

Everybody, no gluten-free,
no casein,

zucchini-kale sandwiches.
How about that?

Wait till you see my review
on yelp.

Yeah, that'll hurt.

It's gonna hurt... you.

[Door slams]

Sorry, kids.

He must eat too much gluten.

Or casein.
Whatever.

So I guess you told
my husband, Joel,

that there's been
some playground drama.

Well, what exactly did Sydney
say has been happening?

Just that Sydney's been, you
know, picked on a little bit.

Which I understand.
It happens.

You know, jealousy or whatever.

Mr. and Mrs. Graham, I'm not
sure you have a clear picture

of what's happening here.

Melody is the girl
Sydney was talking about?

- Mm-hmm.
- Sydney has zeroed in on her.

She's been quite aggressive
about excluding her.

- Uh...
- Sorry, uh...

So Sydney's picking on melody?

I know that kids
will be kids and all of that,

but when it comes to matters
of bullying...

Bullying?

What happened?

It started when one
of Sydney's friends

invited melody
to eat lunch with them.

Sydney wouldn't allow it.

What do you mean,
she wouldn't allow it?

Melody is a little
on the heavy side,

and Sydney said that melody
shouldn't even be eating lunch.

Now she's telling everyone
not to speak to her.

And you saw this?

Yes.

As you can imagine,
melody is...

Well, she's despondent.

Her parents kept her home
from school yesterday,

she was so upset.

I'm... I'm... s...

This is not... this is not
how our daughter behaves.

I'm... I'm...

I don't even know what to say.

If there's something
going on at home

that I should know about?
No.

It's been a...
A tough year.

You know, every family has
its troubles, but we're fine.

We're currently separated.

And I think the kids
are a little bit rattled by it.

- I know how tough this must be.
- Yeah.

Thank you so much for bringing
this to our attention.

We will do our best
to handle it.

It was really nice meeting
you, Ms. Reese.

I'm sorry that you have not seen
a better side of Sydney,

because she's a great girl.

Thank you.

- Julia, we need to talk.
- Yeah, um...

I'm working with the kids
tonight

on grandpa's birthday present,

so we can talk
to her tomorrow night.

No, I'm not talking about Syd.

We have to talk about us,
about what we're dealing with.

This is clearly
a reaction to that.

- You think?
- Yeah. Yeah, I do think.

- Yeah.
- This is not like her.

No. Joel,
this is not like her, at all.

You know what, moving out

and giving up on me
was not like you... at all.

Come on.

Come on,
stay and talk with me, please.

Are you kidding me?

I begged you for a year just
to talk to me and tell me

what the hell was going on,

and you refused to do that,
and that broke me.

And I'm almost okay.

So you can't come over
and talk to me about my dad.

You can't kiss me. Okay?

You can't pretend
like you didn't destroy me,

because you did.

You destroyed us, all of us.

I know.
I'm so sorry.

Okay, well, I'm gonna be okay.

I can handle it.

I don't know if the kids can.

Remember the key with dad,
be direct.

Confront that problem head on.
Attack it.

Okay.
Thanks for all the advice.

And this guy, dad,
what's his first name?

- All right.
- 'Cause you act like I've never

met the guy or talked to him.

Don't let him start talking.
He'll get in your head.

Don't let him start
playing mind games with us.

Okay, he's not a magician
or a hypnotist.

- Can you check that email?
- Yeah, kb.

- Who's kb?
- Kristina Braverman, your wife.

Oh...
[Phone ringing]

- Oh, she's calling.
- Okay, pick that up.

Okay, honey, please don't ask
me any questions.

I'm in a real pickle.
I'm in a real bind right now.

My food vendor just quit on me,
and I've got 40 kids to feed.

I have no idea
what I'm gonna do.

Well,
what about the food vendor?

He just quit.
You got my email, right?

The first thing she said
was no questions.

How do you stay married?
It's a miracle.

And I need you to pick up
40 hot lunches for the kids

and just bring them here.

Just bring them here.
No. No can do.

I cannot go to whole foods.
We're going to talk to my dad

about his surgery.
I don't know what to do.

This is like a defcon five
situation here, Adam.

Defcon five is actually
the good one.

Is that Crosby?

Defcon one...
It's counterintuitive.

- Yes, that's Crosby.
- Yeah.

Whatever it is,
it doesn't matter.

I just need help.
Hey, you know what,

maybe... could Crosby go
to your dad's and talk to him?

- Yes, he can, absolutely.
- No, he can't!

- That would be wonderful.
- Kristina, it's all good.

He's gonna
go over to whole foods.

He'll get all these dietary
requirements met,

and I will handle my father,
and thanks for checking in.

Okay, yes!
Okay.

Oh, you're really happy
with yourself now, aren't you?

We'll just see
how we handle this.

Don't even worry.

Knock, knock.

How are you?

- I'm all right.
- Yeah?

- How's it going?
- I feel like I was in shock,

and I didn't do a good job
not being in shock.

But I'm eager to hear
more about, you know,

what you and Ryan have planned,

or how you're gonna work it out.

Oh, um...

I-I don't know.

I haven't even thought
about that.

He doesn't know.

He doesn't know?
Not yet.

I just sort of started
telling people and everything.

So I haven't really...
'Cause I guess that would be

a big piece in terms of
is he involved?

Does he want to be involved,

financially, emotionally?
Right.

Just another person to help,
you know.

Yeah, I just don't know yet,
though.

I don't really know what I...

It's a weird thing
where you are one person,

and then suddenly...
You're two people.

Yeah, I understand
the math of it.

- And that person needs you.
- Mm-hmm.

So there is some planning
that has to happen.

I just feel like
you're trying to say

that you don't want me to do it,
so maybe you should just say it.

Amber, it's not that
I don't want you to do this.

- Really?
- It's that I wish you

weren't doing it now.
There it is, okay.

I feel like you've barely had
time to work and be in love.

And I do feel
like you have no idea

how hard something
like this is to do by yourself.

You have no idea, and I do.

And it doesn't mean
I don't believe in you.

I just...

Okay.
Good to know.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Come on, honey.

Let's go. These kids
are foaming at the mouth.

- Oh, boy, does my wallet hurt.
- They're foaming at the mouth.

How much did all this cost?

Take a look at that.

All right, look away. Look away.

Crap, I can't.
How are we gonna afford that?

I have no idea.

We're gonna
have to worry about it later.

They're starving.
They're ready to eat each other.

We'll get the rest in a second.
Can you get the door?

Oh, come on, get your head out
of your ass, jeez!

- What's the score?
- Zero-zero.

Hey, do you want a soda
or something?

- You got iced tea?
- Yeah, I got iced tea.

Yeah, I want iced tea.

Okay.

- Thank you, sir.
- That'd be iced tea.

Uhhuh, uh-huh.

Good.
Get in a little break.

What do you want?
How come you're here?

Can't a young man just come
by and say hi to his father?

Mmhmm.
Your mother called you, did she?

Uh, she didn't,
as a matter of fact,

which was pretty annoying
and consistent.

I had to find out secondhand
about your surgery from Adam.

- Really?
- Which I hate.

Wait a minute.
Hold on a sec, whoa.

[Game plays on radio]

See, I got my eye
on this kid here.

- Uh-huh, yeah.
- He didn't get a lot of hits,

but he gets on base a lot.

Right.

It's okay.
Let it go.

Dad...

Let it go.
Easy does it.

- Dad.
- Yeah.

Can we talk about it?

Well, there's not really
much to talk about, Cros.

It's elective surgery, and I
have elected not to have it.

Okay. Well, Adam
made it sound pretty serious.

Well, Adam's a worrier

and always has been
and so is your mom.

And that's why
they get together,

so they can worry
each other out.

All right, well, to be honest,
I'm pretty worried too.

It's your heart.

I mean, this mitrial gurgle...
Martrial gastral...

No, no. Crosby,
do you even know

what mitral regurgitation is?

No, I don't.

Okay.

It's a small leak
in the heart valve, all right?

A lot of people
walk around with it,

don't even know they've got it.

Mmhmm.

The doctor said
I could've had it for years,

and I never felt anything.

And he says the other thing
about it is,

it's not gonna kill me.

All right?
The worst that can happen,

I'll have one of those fainting
spells like I had in Vegas.

I mean,
and how bad was that, really?

So it was fine, wasn't it?
Look, son...

Yeah, you looked all right,
I guess, the next day.

Here's the deal.

I would rather have a fainting
spell like that

than go in and have open-heart
surgery or whatever the hell,

crack open my chest and work
on me and just take my chances.

I mean, think about it.
What choice would you make?

A fainting spell,
or take that risk?

Probably fainting,
if that's all it really was.

Yeah, same here.

You're sure?

Honestly?

I don't think
I've ever felt better.

[Tv chatter]

This is absurd.
I cannot find a single vendor

who will make individual meals
for these kids.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I really don't.

I don't understand why
baseball players aren't paid

according to their stats.

You know what I mean?

Are you listening
to anything I've been saying

for the past five minutes or...

I'm just saying, yon do it.

- You weren't listening.
- I wasn't listening.

You're right.
I'm sorry.

Honey, I'm failing
on all fronts, I really am.

It's like, who do
I think I am, Oprah?

I can open a school
and have it be great.

- You're not failing.
- Honey, I don't know

what we're gonna do
about any of this.

I just... I'm worried.

What's all that?

This is just something
I thought about.

It's stupid.
I thought maybe that we could,

you know, hire someone.

We could bring in the food,
and have somebody

just come in and cook.
You know?

- Tell you what.
- What?

- Here's what we're gonna do.
- Yes.

I need you to make me a list
of everything

we need in the school kitchen.

I'll go to costco
and pick it up tomorrow.

It's gonna blow the budget
for the entire week.

Not if we eliminate
this column right here.

That's our whole...
That's, like, a cook.

- Right.
- And two assistants.

- Exactly.
- We need three, really.

Perfect, because we will
have four, and they'll work

for free as a part of our new
culinary arts elective.

It's "cull-inary,"
but what are you talking about?

I'm pretty sure
it's "kewl-inary" arts.

- It's "cull-inary," Adam.
- We're gonna have the kids

come in and cook with me
in the kitchen.

- That's crazy.
- It is crazy.

It's no crazier than saying
that gluten causes tantrums.

Right?
Okay, okay.

All right, guess what,

I'm gonna sign off on this.
Thank you.

I will regret it,
but I'm signing off on this.

- You're not gonna regret it.
- Yes, I will.

Pizza for dinner... I'm thinking
half bacon, half pepperoni.

Sounds good.
Max, I have good news.

We've heard your complaints,

and we're adding
a new arts elective.

- It better be photography.
- "Kewl-inary" arts.

"Cull-inary" arts.

We don't sound very good.

You guys are not the Jackson 5.

That is for sure.

But you're not the first band
to need a little help,

and we have a secret tool
called auto-tune.

Put your finger there and go
ahead and slide it up as I...

[Voices change] [Gasps]

Ooh!

That's sweetens it, doesn't it?

Now we sound good.

Ooh, that sounds...
That's harmonious.

This is the power.

Yeah, that's the secret
Oliver Rome sauce right there.

Don't tell him, though.

Yeah.
How old is grandpa?

Uh... he's turning 72.

Is that old?

Well, it's not young.

But, you know, he's a bull.

He'll definitely make it to 80.

Good, 'cause I can't wait
till we do it with a full band.

Hmm.

Well, not too soon.

- Max, watch out, watch out.
- Move it.

- Guys, careful.
- Mr. Braverman.

Mr. Braverman,
is the chicken ready yet?

Not yet.
Let it sit there a little bit.

How do I turn on the stove?
How do I turn on the stove?

We're not gonna
turn the stove on yet.

It's a little bit tricky.
No, no, I like fire.

- Mr. Braverman.
- One second, Kiara.

You can flip it in a minute
but not yet, not yet.

Mr. Braverman, this one's not
supposed to have any gluten.

- Right.
- What's gluten?

Gluten, it's a substance
in flour.

It's a protein composite
found in wheat.

- There you go.
- Also, this is not art.

This is slave labor.
Max.

You can be arrested for this.

- I think the chicken's ready.
- One second.

Yes, it's ready to flip.
What's casein?

Okay, let's not light
the stove right now.

Dad, what do I do with
this turkey?

How do I cook it?
Mr. Braverman?

We're not cooking the turkey.
Yes?

Do I put potatoes
inside of the...

Is the chicken
ready to flip yet?

Mr. Braverman,
Erin has a knife.

Oh, God.
Okay, one second.

No, no, Erin, Erin, no, no, no.

Just let me take the knife.
Everybody's okay.

We're all good.

We're good.
That's good, okay.

Chicken's looking great, Edgar.
Thank you.

[Doorbell]

Hey, Sydney, can you come down
here for a minute, please?

- Hey.
- Hey, ready?

Well, yeah.
Is she...

Why is dad here?

Because we wanted to talk
to you about something together.

So, um... have a seat.

So we heard about what happened
with melody at school.

Mm... I don't know
what you're talking about.

Mrs. Reese told us that,
uh...

That you weren't too nice to
her, that you said some things.

That's not true.

I don't think
she'd make it up, bug.

My teacher is a liar.
She hates me.

Sydney, listen.

We're not mad, all right?

We want to talk to you.

If anything, we're worried,

and we want to help you figure
out what you're upset about.

- I'm not upset.
- Okay.

Sydney, listen.
We're just confused.

We're trying to figure out
what this is all about.

Why are you both
ganging up on me?

- We're not ganging...
- We're not ganging up on...

Why are you even here? You
don't even live here anymore.

Don't talk to your father
like that.

Sydney.

We want to help you figure out
what you're upset about.

I'm not upset.

Okay, calm down.

No, I don't want to calm down.

Why don't you go back
to your terrible apartment?

I hate you!
I hate both of you!

[Door slams]

All right.

That looks good, honey.

All right.
This is insane.

I can't believe my dad
is turning 72.

I know. It's crazy.
[Phone rings]

- Who's that?
- It's Edgar's mom.

- Don't answer that.
- Honey, I have to answer it.

What if it's important?

Oh, it is important.
She's gonna complain

that I used
her son as slave labor.

Please, I'm begging you,
don't answer it.

Okay.

I can't deal with it.
Not tonight.

- I won't answer it.
- Okay, thank you.

- Ohh...
- Hey.

The Trusselmen clan is here.

- Hi, guys.
- Where's the birthday boy?

You're the first ones
to arrive.

- All right.
- What's up?

We're the nerdy family,
first here.

- That's all right.
- We're gonna be

the last to leave.
How are you?

Well, we had an episode
on the way here.

The cutest member
of the family crapped herself.

Jasmine.

Jasmine crapped herself.

It smells really bad.

I'm sorry.
My bad.

It's bad.
I will take you upstairs.

I have some clothes
of Nora's you can borrow.

Yeah.
I could hardly tell.

Well, you should've been
in the car with us.

Jabbar, come on,
I have to show you something.

- Okay.
- Yeah, move it.

72. Is that...
That's the right number?

- Yeah.
- I just saw him,

and he doesn't look a day
over 50 if you ask me.

Tough to believe.

Hey, I wanted to thank you for
handling the situation with dad.

Oh, yeah, no problem.
Happy I could...

I have to admit, I was
a little doubtful you were gonna

be able to handle him.
Oh, you were?

Yeah, I didn't think you would
be able to get him over the hump

and talk him into the surgery,

but got that text saying
"all good."

It was a big relief.

Ye... um... I think we might have
a different idea

of what "all good" means.

Sugar-free...

Wow...

Gluten-free, no cholesterol.

It's a completely heart-healthy
alternative

to the chocolate birthday cake.

It's beautiful, Jules.

- Well done.
- I tried the filling.

It sucks.

Sydney.

I spent a lot of time
working on that.

So what?
It's still disgusting.

- Okay.
- Rrrow!

So she's...
Going through a thing.

- Yeah.
- You know.

- It's that age.
- Yeah.

It's so... you know,
it's normal.

Girls are way more dramatic
than boys.

That is for sure, for sure.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

Uncle Adam and Uncle Crosby
are yelling at each other.

- Because you didn't handle it.
- According to your game plan.

You let dad steamroll you,
like always.

There's a difference between
respecting someone's wishes

and getting steamrolled.
What's happening?

What's happening?

He wants to micromanage
dad's illness for him,

just like every over thing
in this family.

Crosby doesn't think
dad has to have his surgery.

Crosby,
he has to have the surgery.

Oh, what a shocker.

You two are in...
See, Julia gets it.

What were you talking to him
about it for?

I thought you handled this.

I had an emergency.

I couldn't do it.
What was the emergency?

A bigger emergency than this.

Yeah, the emergency was Anna
needed broccoli for lunch.

She couldn't eat a yam
or something.

- She had a gluten problem.
- Oh, a gluten problem.

That's up there
with heart failure.

- You just made this...
- We need to solve this.

- Harder for everybody.
- We need to solve this.

We need a strategy in place,
because...

Look, it's an elective
procedure.

Yeah,
it's an elective procedure,

but he's not gonna elect
to do it, because he's afraid.

Don't you get that?

Great.

Anybody gonna wish me
a Happy Birthday?

- Happy Birthday, dad.
- Happy Birthday.

Guess who went to the giant
sale at the party store.

This guy.

I got so much stuff, you could
have all of your kids' parties

for the next, like, 50 years.

They're having a... hey.
Oh, well, all right.

Here, you pass these out.

They were having a sale
on hats and horns.

I got leis.

We could have, like, a Hawaiian
theme party.

Take a... anyone?

Guys, they got festive colors.

Oh, here, dad.
I guess you're the birthday boy.

And so... what is going on?

[Jazz music playing]

So it tracks how many steps
you've taken.

You can press a little button,
and it'll tell you

how many steps you've taken
and all kinds of things.

- That's pretty amazing.
- No, Adam, I need to answer it.

I thought you were gonna
stay strong for me.

It's Edgar's mom.
I am staying strong, okay?

Edgar's a kid
that we use as slave labor.

Adam did, actually.
Hey, Emily.

- She doesn't need to know this.
- It's like a health game.

- It's fun.
- I don't know.

I want one, right?
They're fun.

Okay.
Well, you can use this one.

Of course.

Okay, I'm gonna go check
on the grandkids.

I didn't listen
to your message yet.

There you go. I'm not gonna
even measure my steps.

I'm just gonna count 'em
to myself.

My father-in-law's
birthday party,

and he's actually not
in the best of health right now.

He's so stubborn.

- I'm sorry, what?
- Nothing.

He's so stubborn.

Mom, you have to talk to him.

Well, we're talking.

But this is his birthday.

I just want him
to have a nice party.

Okay.
Well, I guess what we really

need is birthday cake.

We need birthday cake.

- Yes.
- Okay.

I'll help you with the candles.

Thank you.
Max?

Hey, can you hold her?

Oh, uh, yes.
Okay, sure.

You got her?
You got her?

- Hi. I do.
- Good, good.

- For crying out loud.
- Dad.

Oh, God,
there's got to be some...

- Dad?
- [Groaning, muttering]

I know you can hear me, dad.

Jeez.

Huh?
Oh, you got to speak up, son.

You know I got bad ears.
I'm just a frail old man.

[Gasps]

Will you come on?
What are you doing?

Well, I was looking
for something with meat in it,

because in case you haven't
noticed, at my birthday party,

everything is mostly made
with lentils or tofu.

Yeah, I know.
Everybody's worried about you.

Really? Well,
I'm kind of worried about me.

Are you?
Doesn't seem like it.

It doesn't seem
like you're dealing with this.

It doesn't seem like you're
taking it seriously at all.

Oh, no, son,
I am taking this very seriously.

Well, then you should do it.
You should have the surgery.

It's not that simple.

It is that simple.

Do you know what could happen?
I could die on that table.

I know.

And I also know
it's a 95% success rate

for this surgery, 95%.

Those are really good odds.

- Are they?
- Yeah.

Jeez, I'm glad
you're willing to take the risk.

Come on.
I am willing to take the risk.

I don't li the alternative.

Well, you know
what my doctor told me?

My doctor says that,

you know, if the surgery
doesn't go well,

I think he put it
very poetically when he said,

"you'd have a diminished
quality of life."

It's still a life.

Not one I want.

If you don't have the surgery,
you could die.

You could die, dad.
What do I do then?

If I die,
you just take my ashes,

you scatter them in center field
at marine park,

and you play a game
of baseball over me...

'Cause I'm going out
on my terms.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Hey.

What are you doing?

I'm getting away
from the stupid fruit tart,

that's what I'm doing.

Me too.
[Sniffles]

Can I sit down?
You sure?

Oh, boy.

Oh, dear.

This isn't
about my heart condition,

is it?

I'm pregnant.

Are you disappointed in me?

Oh, baby, no.

Amber...
[Laughs]

Oh, sweetheart.

It's incredible.
It's wonderful.

It's the most beautiful thing
in the world.

You get to hold your...
Your child.

It's magic.

I'm gonna be
a great-granddad.

[Both laughing]

I'm gonna be a mom,

which is crazy.

- Should somebody go out there?
- No, no. Let him be.

- Hey.
- Grandpa's back.

- Hi.
- Want some... fruit tart?

- Uh, I'm gonna...
- [Laughs] Okay.

I'll tell you later.

- Dad.
- Hi.

Just try a slice of fruit tart.

It's a Martha Stewart recipe.

She promised me you
wouldn't even miss the gluten.

Oh! Oh, my God.
That tastes vile.

Yeah, that's, like, bland-ville.
Does it really?

What store did this come from?
You bought it?

- No, no.
- I made it.

How come Uncle Crosby's
allowed to say it, and I'm not?

Because you want to be mature.

I don't know
exactly what gluten is,

but I would like Martha
to know I do miss it.

It's really not, you know,
that bad.

Kind of...

[Both laughing]

I'm sorry.

Stop lying to me.

[Zeek laughing] Okay...

You haven't even heard
your birthday song yet.

A birthday song?

I get a birthday song?

Here.
Thank you for eating it.

Let me hear it.

Braverman original production
here.

Who's singing this?

This is us.
Uncle Crosby helped us make it.

- Do you like it, grandpa?
- Do I like it?

I love it.
Good.

'Cause we're gonna
do it again when you turn 80.

Dad said we could use
a real band then.

That'll be fun.
I can sell the CDs at safeway.

Come on.
There it is.

Yeah!
Get it, zeek!

[Singing fades]

[Whimsical acoustic guitar]

Hi.

Seriously, it doesn't freak you

out when people just show up
in your doorway?

God, Mom, it's really late

for another big discussion,
isn't it?

I'm kind of tired.

- Are you feeling okay?
- Yeah.

What's going on?

I just wanted to show you some

pictures I was going through.

Who is that?

Who is that?

Hello! It's this lady,
member of the stripe club.

Oh, no. Look at the thighs.

I'm sorry I put you in ruffles.

I'm really sorry
about the haircut.

- It was the '90s.
- We didn't have a lot of money.

What was I gonna do?

- Look.
- Ohh!

Do you remember your line
from the play

where you played a maple leaf?

- Mm-mm.
- You didn't that night either.

Ooh.
[Laughs]

- "It's autumn."
- That was it?

Yeah.

I forget what made you laugh
that hard.

You were laughing so hard.

Look at that little cutie.

Mom.

I realized...

I forgot to tell you
about all the good stuff.

I'm so scared.

I know.
Me too.

We're gonna be okay.
Yeah?

Yeah.
We're gonna be okay.

There's a lot of food leftover.

There's a lot of food.
And bean dip.

I don't even know
that I bought bean dip.

Thank you.

But it was a good party.
You did great.

Oh, yeah, great party.

Honey, it was a good party.

I was gonna wait
till tomorrow to tell you,

but I, uh, got a call
from Edgar's mom.

All right, lay it on me.

And she said that Edgar
actually came home from school

and told her everything
that happened.

- Time for me to lawyer up?
- No.

She actually... she's thrilled.

- Really?
- I know.

It's crazy,
because our little plan worked.

She's...
He had a good time.

He came home and told her
about this piece

of chicken that he was cooking.

And he was so excited
about this piece of chicken.

He kept saying,
"it's my piece of chicken.

And Adam taught me how to cook
this piece of chicken."

And she just felt very grateful
to us,

because it was the first time,
I guess, in a long time

that she actually saw something
in him that gave her some hope.

- Good.
- Yeah.

Wow.
Well, we got lucky.

And she thinks
that you are a genius.

Well, I don't think
I'm a genius.

No, she said that.
She said...

- Kristina... I'll take it!
- Whoever thought of

bringing in
a "kewl-inary" arts...

There you go.

- No, she said that.
- Kewlinary.

- It's still "cullinary."
- It's not cullinary.

A kewlinary artform
is nothing short of genius.

- It's pretty "kewl."
- "Kewl"?

Yeah.

Oh, man.

This is the best news
I've had all day.

Yes, it is.
You did a really good thing.

[Conor oberst's
night at lake unkno plays]

Hey, it's me.
Are you up?

Yeah.

What is happening with Syd?

Yeah, I just don't know
what to do.

Yeah, me neither.

You still there?

I'm still here.

Hey, honey.
How come you're still up?

Well, I'm enjoying the last
few minutes of my birthday.

Oh, I see.

[Both chuckle]

Sit down a second.

- Uh-oh.
- Yeah.

Well, I heard some...
I heard some big news tonight,

and I'm pretty sure
it's a secret.

What is it?

I said I'm pretty sure
it's a secret.

Oh, come on.
We don't keep secrets.

Amber's pregnant.

What?

Wow.

Wait a minute.

That's ridiculous.
Amber can't be pregnant.

Sarah was just pregnant
with Amber.

Great-grandparents.

- Yeah.
- Great-grandparents?

Right.

Yeah.

I'm gonna have the surgery,
Millie.

- Of course.
- Yeah.

- Good.
- Yeah.

Good.

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