All language subtitles for Parenthood s02e06 Alert.eng

I mean, we're just
studying, right?

We're not trying to flirt
with our S.A.T. tutor?

It's making me feel like
I'm crashing a date

with you and Howard.

This is kind of how
I hoped it would be.

And...

Boom.

I should give you
back this ring

before you lose it.

I'm really touched.
I'm so excited.

I didn't suggest you
for the booth job.

What do you mean?
Gordon said that you did.

He usually has
an ulterior motive.

You really don't get
how amazing you are, do you?

Hey, honey.

What are you doing?

Being festive.

Honey, orange is
for doctor appointments,

not for Halloween.

You know what?
I was thinking,

speaking of that, that--
purple.

Look, I know that usually
we stay home on Halloween,

but I was thinking
maybe this year

we'd try taking Max over
to my parents' house.

You're not serious.

There's no--
it's Halloween.

Go ahead.
Ask him.

Hey, Max, uh, you know
how we usually at stay home

on--on Halloween?

I was thinking
that maybe this year,

we'd go over
to grandpa and grandma's.

I do not want to.

Hmm.
It's so much fun.

Could you open this?
You get to dress up in a--

honey, it's okay.
You don't have to go.

I want to go
trick-or-treating.

It was just an idea.

I want to go
trick-or-treating.

Really?
Max, honey...

You've never
been trick-or-treating.

He was
trick-or-treating once.

When he was 18 months old.

Max, are you sure you want
to go trick-or-treating?

Well, you get candy...
Really?

For just going up to a door
and asking.

Yes, you do.
That is correct.

Hold on.
And it's so...

You walk up to a door,
you knock.

You can dress up
however you want to dress up.

You can pick your own costume.
You could be a pirate.

Mmm.
I want to be a cockroach.

Or a cockroach.

Come on, Syd!

Mommy, I know what I want
to be for Halloween.

You do?
Here, work with me.

What do you want to be?

I want to be a beauty queen.

Come again?

I want to be
miss California.

Sweetie...

Why don't you
want to be a ladybug...

Like you were last year?
That was so cute.

Well...
Here, can you put that on?

I was a ladybug
when I was little.

I think you're still
pretty little.

Mommy, stop.

[Laughs]
I'm not little.

And I want to be
miss California.

Okay.
Why don't we discuss it later?

No, mom, I know what I want.
I want to be miss California.

Okay, we're gonna think
about it,

and then...

We'll discuss it later.

Is your grandpa
excited enough

about Halloween,
you think?

Yeah, I know.
Good morning.

It's so tight,
I can't even breathe.

Can you help me--
you look really hot.

Bet it's for that
forklift-operator guy, huh?

Oh, well, actually,
that's sort of over.

Who's forklift guy?
No, it's done.

Well, you're dressing
for someone.

[Grunts]
Guess what.

I found my zombie arm.

Gosh, cool.
Uh-oh.

Look at all of this.
Hey, can I see the leg?

Can I see the leg?
Yeah.

We got three days
till Halloween.

That means we are behind.

Bend the neighbors or--
nobody make any plans.

All right?
I want all hands on deck here.

We are gonna scare the piss

out of the neighborhood kids
this year.

Oh, Zeek, we're not scaring
the piss out of anybody.

Amber would like
to scare the piss

out of the neighborhood kids.

I do. That's right up
my alley, but I can't.

I have to go
to Kelsey's mom's benefit thing.

Uh, Sarah, you tell Amber

that she's got to spend
Halloween with her family.

I'm really sorry, dad.

It's probably a bad time
to tell you.

But I can't be there either,

um, 'cause I got to work
at the bar.

Wait a minute.
Honey...

Sweetheart,
this is important to me.

Dad, I don't make money
at this day job.

And, you know,
it's a big night for tips.

So, um--but I'll be
wearing a costume.

So will I.
I will too.

Hey, we'll send pictures.
Yeah, we will.

Okay.
Bye.

Hey.

[Growling]

Blah.

[Monster voice]
Well...

I guess it's just
you and me, kid.

Don't you want
to at least go inside

and see what it's like?

What time
will you pick me up?

Buddy, you're gonna be
having so much fun,

you're not even gonna want us
to come ba.

2:30, right on the dot.

What if I don't feel good?

Could I come home sooner?

[Chuckles]
Um...

Dude, this is incredible.

- How did you do this?
- Do what?

Do what? You have the best
cubby in the whole class.

It's blue,
your favorite color.

It's at waist level,
so you don't hurt your back

when you're putting your pack
in there.

Did you pay someone off
to get it?

- I didn't.
- Maybe you're just lucky.

You want to give it a shot?
Let's see it.

Oop!

Are you new?

Do you want to see
the class pet?

His name is Marvin,
and he eats crickets.

Sometimes
he leaves the heads.

Okay.
Bye, buddy.

Have a good day.
Okay.

They were holding hands...
That is so cute.

The little guy
with glasses.

Hi.
[laughs] I was...

How are you?

Good. You?

Good, good.

Yeah?

Okay.

Oh, oh, oh.

Yeah?

Sarah, I've been meaning
to tell you.

Uh...

The specs
on the MX-20 are late,

and, you know,
that's your responsibility.

And I need you
to have the design team

have that on my desk
no later than tomorrow, okay?

Right.

Okay.

Halloween can be
a very challenging holiday

for these kids, honestly.
Exactly.

It's no question.
Okay, so...

We just never go out
in the world?

We just sequester ourselves
in our house?

What would you say would be
the biggest challenges

for Max with Halloween?

Candles.
Candles?

The people.
Fire.

The scary costumes.
He's uncomfortable with fire.

But he has--

that is a massive
understatement.

This is important to me.

Right.
This is our family's holiday.

That's because
your family's insane.

It's one holiday

that we have where there isn't
any family drama.

Honey...

And I would like my son
to be a part of it.

Actually, guess what.

Okay, a few years ago,
I celebrated Halloween.

I didn't want Max
to feel left out.

So we sort of made
a game out of it, okay?

We turned off
all the lights.

And we hid from all
the trick-or-treaters.

We went upstairs, and we played
a game of Monopoly

with the flashlight.

All right, doc, listen,

bottom line--
do we, or don't we?

You know,
if Max wants to try this,

why don't you
follow his lead, Hmm?

All right.
Are you kidding?

He's never done this before.

And I understand,

and your concerns
are completely valid.

But if Max is truly motivated
to try this,

that's an opportunity
that you don't want to pass by.

I think the key to this
is preparation.

Preview for Max as much
as you possibly can.

Let him know exactly what
he's going to be getting into

ahead of time.
All right.

Keep it small.

I think, probably best
just the three of you...

This year.
All right.

Great.

Let's go for it--
come on--as a family.

Okay.
Okay, it's gonna be great.

All right.

We're gonna go
trick-or-treating.

Thank you.

This place is amazing.

Ooh, I can put
a vegetable garden out there.

No, you don't want to put
a vegetable garden.

Yeah, I do.
No, 'cause then it'll just--

the dog will run through it
and mess it all up,

and then we'll have
to clean it all up.

What dog?
A dog.

You know, you--you--
a new place,

a big--big lab maybe
named Marley or something.

Yeah, I don't--I don't know
what you're talking about,

because I'm a cat person.

Grody.
You're a cat person?

Yeah.
Cats suck.

They're always
licking themselves.

They're narcissistic.
They're kind of O.C.D.

Dogs are way better.
We got to get a dog.

"We"?

Hmm?

You just said "we."

You said we should--

no, I said--
"we got to get a dog."

I said
you got to get a dog.

No, I'm pretty sure
I heard you say "we."

Hmm, I don't think so.

I think I said "you,"

meaning you and Jabbar,
should get a...

What's happening
behind this door?

You said, "we,"
weirdo.

[Sighs]

Okay, Max,
I want you to look at this.

This is a ball, but it's really,
on Halloween night,

going to be a Jack-o'-lantern

filled with fire
and candles, okay?

And there's gonna be
people around, loud noises--

well, the thing--
the thing--

people are gonna be--
I don't get it!

I don't get it.
I don't want a trick.

So shouldn't
I just say "treat,"

or just, like,
"give me candy"?

Well, yeah, but, honey,
I didn't make up the rules.

I just know what it takes
to get a mini-snickers or--

but what if someone
gives me an almond joy?

Do I have to take it?

Well, yeah, you take it,
and you're polite about it,

but you can bring it home,
and maybe dad'll eat it.

He likes coconut.

Coconut looks like
the saliva

an ambush bug secretes
in order to immobilize its prey.

It's disgusting--
who would want to eat saliva

in order order to immobilize--
your dad.

He loves it.
Okay, now we're here.

Knock on the door--

okay, go.
Knock.

There's no doorbell,
so when that--

just knock, hard.

There might be
an "old person" inside.

That's good.

Okay, and we step back.
That's good. That's good.

Oh, happy hallow's Eve.

Oh, hi, old lady.

What a cute costume.
What are you?

What do you say?

Thank you.

No, you don't
say "thank you" yet.

You say...

Trick or treat!
Argh!

Ohh.
Ooh, scary!

Take a piece of candy.

Thank you.
I love necco wafers.

We put this in the bag,

and we don't eat it
till we get home,

'cause I have to check it.
Just the one piece.

Young man, would you
like a candy piece?

What do you say?
Thank you.

No, you say--

Max, if you don't say,
"trick or treat,"

I can't give you candy.

But even if I say,
"trick or treat,"

it's not really Halloween,
so I won't get candy.

And even if it was Halloween,
there's nothing in that bowl.

It's true. We're pretending.
It's just air.

Except
you're practicing, okay?

There's nothing
in this bowl.

Does anyone else
have to practice?

No.
Did you?

No.
Why are you making me practice

when no one else
has to practice?

It's just because
we're practicing, Max.

Ten stickers!
You get one sticker,

and that's enough.

Sorry, mom.
I just--

I never know what to say.

I tried.

It's gonna be great.

Okay, this--this is
what we need to get verified--

hey! Turns out
the Berkeley coffee near me

is the Berkeley Coffee
near you.

I kissed my boss.

Excuse us.
Thank you.

Hi. Latte?

Hmm.
And come in.

Julia, I'm sure you have

a million more
important things to do,

but I'm in the process
of ruining my future.

Can you help?

Oh, here, uh, Eric in accounting
usually gets something good.

Okay, you kissed Gordon?

Yes, I did.
How--how--

my boss, Adam's boss,

the boss, you know?
He was sexy and appealing.

And he's got the hair
that's, like, slicked back,

except for when
it flops forward.

Oh, Sarah...

I was powerless
to stop myself.

He made me feel smart.

He made me feel like
I was doing a good job.

He--he made me feel like,
for a minute,

maybe I could be
with the successful,

good-looking guy.

You can.
No, I can't, Julia.

Yes, you can.
No, those guys like you, okay?

They--they will kiss me
in the parking lot

and then never call me.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

I saw him at work today.

He ignored me.

Okay,
I-I hate to quote mom here,

but, you know, what
she told us in high school.

Um...

You can get pregnant
in a hot tub

even if you don't have sex?

What?
Hmm?

Oh.
She said that?

Maybe we got
different talks.

What did she say to you?
She said, "boys are dumb."

Oh, that one.

Yes, boys are dumb...
[knock on door]

Well, especially
the ones I pick.

One minute, please.
Thank you.

Boys are dumb. Okay?

It's not you.
It's not, okay?

I can't ever show
my face there again.

[Chuckles]
I acted like an idiot.

What you're going to do

is go back in there
with your head held high.

And you're gonna give
Eric in accounting his latte.

No.
Yes.

You're gonna hold
your head high

no.
Let's--let's do this.

And you're not gonna let that
jerk ruin your career, okay?

[Laughs]
My career.

Julia, uh, I'm an intern

and, uh, don't really
have a career.

This is your shot.
Take it.

Okay?

You're right.
Okay.

[Sighs] Okay.
Okay.

Head up.

Thanks, dude.

Yeah, dude.
Sorry. Hi. Sorry.

Hello.
Come in.

All right, let me--
let me take you back here.

Focus, okay.

Let me take you back
to the beginning on this.

In 1963, I don't know
if you know this...

Oh, I love this story.
But the United States

passed an amendment
to the Fair Labor Standards Act

that gave women equality
in the workplace.

That's--that's so exciting.

That was progress.
That was...

Important and--
and this...

Is--is just kind of...

I like it
because it's pink,

and that's
my favorite color.

That's true.
Yeah.

But it kind of--
it goes against everything

that--that we as women
have been struggling against

for the last 50 years.

You know, it's...

It's, uh--it's...

It's way too cold
to be wearing that in October.

I mean, look-it, there's, like,
no sleeves on that, hon.

Miss California
wears a fur coat.

I'll wear that.

I can't--I can't...

Argue with...

I really, really, really,
really, really, really want it.

Um, I'm gonna discuss it
with your father.

Fur coat.
[chuckles]

Did she--
she said fur coat.

Yeah.
That's what she said?

That's...

I failed her, Joel.

And when it's my turn
to be student of the week,

I get to bring Marvin home
for the whole weekend.

What exactly is Marvin?

Okay, he's this big.
He has scales.

Oh, he has scales?

Well, one of the places
we saw...

Has a great play room
that I'm sure Marvin would love.

You still thinking
about that one...

With the smell?
Yeah.

That one?
What smell?

You know, that funky smell.
It's kind of hard to describe.

It was like canned soup
or something.

Buddy, you want to live
in a place

that smells like broccoli soup?
Nuh-uh.

Yeah, who would?

Hey, Jabbar, I hear
the, uh, sailboat on the corner

is decorated like
a pirate ship for Halloween.

Ohh...

I bet you if you go on deck,
you can see it.

Okay.
Arr!

Arr! Arr!

But stay on the deck, okay?
Okay.

All right.
What's going on?

Hmm?
What's going on?

Well, what's going on
is I don't like that place.

I think it's standard
and boring.

I like it.

It's close to the Bart.
It's convenient.

Well, I thought you liked
the place with the garden.

I do, I do.

But it's, like,
$500 more than I can afford.

Well, I don't want you
to make a decision

you're gonna regret,
you know.

The place with the garden
is so much...

Nicer.

Well...

It's--it's my decision
to make.

It's my place...

Right?

Yeah, right.

I'm gonna go check on him.

[Knock on door]

Hey.
Hey.

Got a minute?
I got a conference call.

Uh, you know what?
Never mind.

Come on in.
I-I've got a minute.

[Clears throat]
What's doing?

These are the specs
you asked for.

We went over them,
and I think you'll be pleased.

Terrific. Great.

What else?

Uh, just quickly,
I was wondering, uh,

if Bob Ingomar's order
came in yet,

you know,
from the convention.

He just seemed pleased--

Sarah, that's
not how it works.

It's a process--
negotiations, you know.

It's not like it happens
all of a sudden, poof,

the very next day.

Of course, yeah.
Duh.

But as soon as there's
something to report,

you'll be the first to know,

when I send out
the company-wide memo.

Okay. Thanks.

I'm sorry, um, but...

After everything
you said to me...

Really?
The company-wide memo?

I'm confused.
Is--is there a problem?

No, I just feel like
you're--you're being weird.

I'm--I'm running
my company.

Yes, but we kissed.

We kissed, yeah.
In a parking lot.

Yeah, and it was fantastic.

And now...

Now...

You want to know
what's gonna happen next?

No, please.

Yeah, sort of.

And you'd like to talk
about it right now?

No, no, no.
I-I don't know.

Sarah, look, I--

I think you're a wonderful,
lovely woman.

Okay. [chuckles]
Never mind. Forget it.

No, that's okay.

No, no, no.
Wait, wait. Hear me out.

You don't understand.

You know, I've got
a conference call

that I'm three minutes late for,
and, you know, to be honest...

Please be honest.

Be honest.
Um...

We have very different
lifestyles.

What does that mean?

That means that, uh,
you have kids,

and I have a boat.

Having a boat
is a lifestyle?

We're acting like teenagers.

No, no, no, maybe I'm not
teenager enough for you.

Well, you know,
that's not fair.

Hey, please.
Sarah, please.

Okay, you know what?
You're right.

I'm sorry.
Let's forget it.

Let's forget the whole thing
ever happened.

I really like my job.
That's what matters.

Let's just forget it.

I...
I'm fine.

I'll wait for the memo.

[Door closes]

Well, I trust
that your father

has explained to you

the importance
of the Braverman Halloween.

[Imitates plane crashing]

I mean, sure,
it's about decorating the yard

and scaring the hell out of
the obnoxious neighbor twits.

But it's a lot
more than that, really...

To me.

[Imitates airplane engine]

Halloween
was the last holiday

that your grandmother and I
got to spend together

before I shipped
off to basic.

You know what that is?

Army training.

Fort Benning, Georgia--
ah, there's a total hellhole.

That's a story
for another time, yeah.

The point is that Camille
and I spent that Halloween

like it was Christmas,
New Year's, and Easter...

All wrapped up together.

Oh, Max, we had a time.

So I missed
a few holidays after that,

but, see, I always had...

The memory of that Halloween.

And that's why it's special.

Here you go.

What is it?
For you.

Your grandma
made it for you.

Your dad has one just like it,
Haddie too.

Now you got one.

Do you think I'll be able
to get enough candy to fill it?

Oh, Max, we are sure
as hell gonna try.

I'm gonna go test out
how much it can fit.

Hey, bud.

Okay, we've got the Ehrins,

the Hendersons,
and the Carpenters.

They're all on board
to use the safety sticks

for their Jack-o'-Lanterns.

Great, and I spoke
with the Guggenheims,

so that's taken care of.

Perfect, uh-huh.
All right?

Great.
Awesome.

Awesome.
Good job.

Hey, look at that dog.

Huh. Aw, hi.
Look how cute you are.

Hello.
Hi.

This is Morgan.
Hi, Morgan.

Hey.

Um, do you live around here?

I do. I'm, uh, just around
the corner here, on sycamore...

Okay.
Oh.

The one with the doghouse
in the front...

Perfect.
Morgan's headquarters.

I love, love,
love Sycamore.

Wow, are you cute.

Well, listen, my husband
and I are out walking

and just--we're passing
these out to neighbors

to maybe put in their
Jack-o'-Lanterns this year

instead of candles.

My son's afraid of fire.
Oh.

Yeah, we have orange,
and we have yellow.

Yeah.
He has Asperger's.

And I don't even know why he
wants to go trick-or-treating.

Okay.
But he just wants to go.

So if you wouldn't mind
putting these

in your Jack-o'-Lantern
instead of...

Yeah, I-I could put 'em
in the Pumpkin.

They're okay for the dog?

Even better for the dog.

Yeah?
Yeah.

It's not fire.
All right.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Come on, Mac daddy.
See ya, Mac daddy.

Okay, daddy-o.

Honey, I don't know
how we're gonna do all this.

This is impossible. There's a
house over there that I don't--

can we just pause for a second
and note the absurdity

of trying to completely remove
fire from Halloween?

Okay, well, you know what?

Let's stay home, then.
Well play Monopoly again.

Hey...
That was fun.

You know,
I forgot to tell you

that Julia called,
and she and Joel

are gonna bring Sydney over.

And then Crosby got wind of it,
so they're gonna come over too.

Honey, they can't.

Dr. Pelikan specifically said
to keep the group small.

Yeah, they're all trying
to be supportive of Max, okay?

What am I supposed to say?

Anyway, the point is
is that my whole family's

gonna go, and I just...

I feel really guilty
about not being there, you know?

Excuse me.

Hello?
Are you listening to me, guy?

Um, yes, yes.

Okay, your family has some
psychotic love of Halloween.

That's what I said.
In other news...

Oh. Joy.

Howard has invited us
to a frat party.

That's...
Awesome?

So exciting.
Awesome, yes.

Where is it?
It's across the bay.

And it's gonna be incredible.
No, we're not going.

And we are totally going.

No, we're not going.
So, um...

I'm not going across the bay
to a frat party with Howard--no.

Yeah. Why do you
say it like that?

Because
it's gonna be amazing.

[Sighs]

You know how...

We've talked about...

It's wrong to judge people by
the way that they look, right?

And do you know how
beauty contestants are judged?

Mm...

Talent, swimsuit,
and interview.

Right.

Well, mostly they're judged
by how they look.

And that's wrong, so...

All I'm saying is we do still
have your ladybug costume...

You know, in--in the case
that you decide

you have moral issues
with what you're wearing.

Okay, um, why don't we--

why don't we just
put this on, sweetie?

Let's see how it looks
with the--

with the tiara thing.

Okay.

Okay.

Wow.

There's my--
okay, let's take a...

Even with the hand.
Now, look at that.

Cheese.

Thank you.

Guys.

Ah, Martini for the Panda.
You thought I forgot.

I'll take those, thank you.
Trick or treat.

Hi.

Hi. Wow.

- What are you doing here?
- Can you talk?

Um, not really.

- I'll have a beer.
- Okay.

You're completely right
about me--

everything you said.

Huh?
I only date younger women.

The kid thing
was always a deal breaker.

And then there's the fact
that I am your boss.

We are a terrible idea.

Well, thank you so much
for coming here to...

Tell me that.

[Chuckles awkwardly]

I-I'll have another one.
Please, another beer.

Hey, uh, count...

That one's for you.
One more, please.

Thanks.

There's nothing I can do
about my age, you know?

And, um, the kids
I'd happily give up,

but I really like
my job, so...

We're at an impasse.

Then I'll have
another beer, okay?

Sweetheart, this is for you.

And another and another
and another--

however many it takes to get you
to understand

that even though you are
absolutely wrong for me,

I can't stop thinking
about you.

Gordon...

My boss...

Maybe it's the cat suit.

You'll--you'll get over it.

I love it when people
say no to me.

I'm just gonna stick around
for a while,

if it's okay with you.

Okay, guys, Halloween 101--
I've got the map out right here.

From Sycamore, right here--
are you guys listening?

Yeah.
Anybody listening?

All: Yeah.

We're gonna make a right
onto Oak Street.

Honey, I'm fine, really.

We're gonna cut through the park
to avoid Elm Street.

Under no circumstances
are we to go down Elm.

You got it?
Okay.

There's a really scary house
on Elm Street.

It is quite literally
a nightmare on Elm Street.

[Imitates scary music]
[laughter]

Come on, I know
that this seems insane,

but we're just trying
to help out Max.

No, yeah,
we're 1,000% behind you.

Whatever route we need to take
is absolutely fine.

Thank you.

I just want the kids
to have fun too, though.

I want Jabbar to have fun.
Honey, glow sticks.

Max is afraid of fire.

Okay, I got all of these
light sticks here,

because I wanted
people to pass them out.

Max is really afraid
of candles and...

Fire, generally.

They'll have plenty of candy.
Come on, let's get going.

What's the holdup?

Jeez, let's go.
Come on.

I'm ready.
The kids are waiting.

Come on.
Okay.

Um, all right.
Hey!

Oh, no Braverman
left behind.

[Overlapping chatter]

Miss you.
There he is!

There's my favorite
Jedi Knight.

[Indistinct chatter]

Wait, now, hold up.
Wait for your...

How's it going?
You having a good time?

Yeah.
Yeah?

Why do you keep
asking me that?

Don't have
to ask you again.

Okay, be careful.
Let's see.

664 Sycamore--
Whoo, here we go.

Is that on--
is that on the official list?

It is
on the official list.

Here we are--
lady with green hair.

All right.
Okay, Max,

when you get up there,
ring the doorbell,

say, "thank you,
trick or treat."

And tell 'em what you are.
You're a cockroach.

Honey, honey...
What?

He's fine. Relax.
I'm relaxed.

You know what helps me relax,

you telling me to relax.
Trick or treat!

[Party chatter
and hip-hop music]

Banana butt, let's go.

I'm going as fast as I can.
I'm in a banana suit.

Did I drop my--

why did you wear that thing?
Oh, my God.

It's funny!
Hi.

It's not cute.
Sorry.

Hey, come on.
Seriously.

Sorry.
Hey, hey.

We're looking for Howard.
Do you know him?

Yeah, I'm sure he's
around here somewhere.

Come on in.
Come on.

Welcome. Let me go
get you something real quick.

Thank you.

He was cute.

You should, um, ask him
about his major

or something.
When he comes back.

I can't flirt
in a banana suit.

I told you to wear
something different.

That guy is disgusting.

Banana suit, seriously.
Come on.

Um, hey, let's go
on a fun tour of the house.

We could get some smokes
and a--and a drink.

Okay, weirdo.
Come on.

Oh, boy.

Okay. Okay, buddy.
Come on.

Here we go.

Excuse me.

So we've seen, like,
four places

for her and Jabbar
to move into.

Well, how does that
make you feel?

Do you feel like
you want to move in with them?

Well, yeah, course.

A part of me does, you know.

I'm going to all these houses
with her,

and I want to be
a part of all that.

Uh-huh.
But at the same time,

I'll be sitting at another house
looking at the yard

and the pantry
and all the other crap

you and Kristina have.
And that scares you?

Well, all of a sudden, it's
like ten years in the future,

and I'm you.

Ah.
And it's daunting.

I mean, no offense.
Yeah.

Say, "trick or treat."

Trick or treat.

So what, uh...

Did you talk to Jasmine
about it, how you feel?

Nope.

Why not?

What do you expect her to do,
read your mind?

Well, yeah.
It would help.

I'm emotionally stunted.

I blame dad.

Really?
I always blamed mom.

I think she played
a role too

in this whole package.

Crosby, honestly,
I don't get you sometimes.

You got this incredible kid,
you got this beautiful girl,

who, you know, none of us can,
for the life of us,

figure out why
she's so in love with you.

What's the problem?

I don't know, man--
it's just, you know,

she moved back and forth
to New York, and...

I don't know how I feel.

How did--how did you know,
you know, with Kristina

when it was the time?

I just felt it.

We were at this game,
eating...

Cheese fries,

and...

She looked at me, smiled...

And bam, I...

Didn't want to eat cheese fries
with anybody but her,

you know?

All right.

You don't even eat
cheese fries, though, anymore.

Don't miss the boat.

You're like
the cholesterol cops now.

Don't miss the boat,
all right?

I eat metaphorical
cheese fries now.

Okay.

[Dance music playing]

Hi.
Here you go.

Awesome techno.

Really, not driving me
crazy at all.

[Cell phone ringing]

Hi. What?
Talk louder.

No.

Oh, Amber.

Where are you?

God, I have no idea where
that is--text me the address.

All right, I'll be there soon.
Hey, when do you get off?

Bobby, can I get my purse?

I'll call you guys later
and fill you in.

Thanks.
Just cover for me.

What's going on?
Uh, kids.

You don't like 'em, remember?

Wait, wait.
You seem like you're upset.

I am upset. My daughter's with
her supposedly perfect friend,

who got so drunk,
she can't drive her home.

So now I have to go find them
at some party across the bay.

I'll take you.
Let me drive you.

Take--I don't even know
where I'm going.

I barely even know
the city that well.

Look, come on.
I've got a super-fast car.

I'm a super-fast driver.

I'll get you there
in a flash,

as long
as I don't get us killed.

Come on, we'll go
for some after-hours Sushi.

It's gonna be hot.

No, I want to go
to the haunted house!

Hey!
Hey, hey, hey.

Kristina, I thought
that we were gonna take

the kids through the park.

That was the plan.

Exactly, that was the plan.
What happened?

Some of the kids wanted
to head up to the big house.

You know what we're
gonna do, Max?

You know what?
We're not gonna go up there.

No, no--
if the little kids can go,

then so can I.
I can too!

Max, it's just there are
a lot of candles up there, okay?

And we know how you feel
about candles, so...

Well, what's wrong
with candles?

Well...
Hold it, hold it, hold it--

[children chatter]
Hey, kids, kids,

come here a sec.
Huddle up here.

No, if the little kids want
to go to the haunted house,

if they can, then I can too.

Okay, I think
we should just go home.

Let's call it a night.
Let's go.

No, no!

If the little kids can do this,
then so can I!

If the little kids can,
then so can I.

Okay, you know what, Max?
You're right.

You know what?
Max is right, everybody.

Let's all go
to the haunted house together.

Is that the plan?
Let's go.

Adam...

[Overlapping chatter]

Just head on up the.
You all right?

The dead man has spoken.
Hey, listen up.

[Overlapping chatter]

[Cheers and applause]

[Loud dance music]

Hey!
Hey, that is a party girl!

[Laughs wildly]

That is a party girl.

[Chanting]
Party girl! Party girl!

Amber...
All: Party girl!

Party girl! Party girl!
Amber!

Here, here.
The banana.

My God. Wow.

What happened?

She's wasted.
She's just, like, in the pool.

Where is she?
She won't get out.

In the pool?

Yes.
Oh, God.

Is she--okay, just...
Please, I want to go home.

I'm Gordon.

Amber.

Pleasure.

Kelsey, it's Sarah.
Hey.

[Laughing]
Hi, Sarah.

Hi, it's Amber's mom.

Come get out of the pool.
Let us take you home.

Kelsey, please
get out of the pool.

You're making a fool
of yourself.

Shut up!
Uh, Kelsey, honey...

You got to be cold in there.

Excuse me.
Yeah.

Hold that for me.
Okay.

Kelsey, sweetie,

just come up here,
and let's talk about it.

It's just a boy.
It's no big deal.

He's an idiot.
He's probably an idiot.

Let's go home, okay?
Yeah, we'll have fun.

It'll be really fun.

All: [chanting]
Don't get out! Don't get out!

Whoo!
Yeah!

All: Don't get out!
Don't get out!

Ohh, here we go, honey.

[People booing]

You okay?

Wow, he's kind of amazing.

Yeah.

[Thunder crashing]

[Woman screams]

Just give us
a couple more seconds, guys.

None of the other parents
are going up.

I'm--I'm going alone.

Right, okay.

Just let him do his thing.
Honey...

Honey, this is not
a good idea.

Okay. All right.
There are candles everywhere.

It's all good.
It's all clear.

Hey, buddy...
All right, guys, have fun.

Max, I will be right here
for you.

I will not move.
We'll be right here, Max.

Come on, Max.
Let's go!

Don't run.
This is a terrible idea--

horrible idea.
Listen, either way,

there was a chance
of a meltdown, okay?

No, but he's gonna
completely lose it.

All right, look...

He's still heading up there.

Okay.

Squeeze my hand.
Hold it.

Hold it tighter.
I'm holding your hand.

Come on, buddy.

[Metallic squeaking]

[Owl hoots]

Thank you!
Thank you.

[Evil laughter]

Mom, dad!
Yeah, yep? Right here.

Mom! Dad!
What?

Mom!
What?

Look what I got.
I got...

What do you got?
Look, I got a spider ring.

Look, the head's kind of
like a black widow

but the body's
more like a parson spider.

He got a spider ring.
All right.

Whoo-hoo!
Yeah. [laughs]

Come on. Show grandpa
and grandma your spider ring.

You got a spider ring!
That's pretty cool, Max.

Next house.
Did you get another one?

Let's go.
Next house.

Off he goes.

I just had a heart attack.

Yeah, right?
[laughs]

He's a Braverman.
Oh, my God.

You were right about Howard.

He's such a douche.

I know.
It's that name.

You can't trust a guy
named Howard.

Here you go.

Feelin' okay?

I'm so embarrassed.

Oh, no, don't--
don't worry about it.

I've totally been there.

I'm sorry I threw up
in your boyfriend's Beemer.

I'm sorry.

Good as new.

I feel terrible.

Is the car okay?

I-it's a lease.
I got another month.

How about
your suede jacket?

I'm just glad she's okay.

Thank you.
I mean, really.

You were just great tonight.

Oh, it was nothing.

No, I mean, for a guy
who says he's not into kids,

you're really good with them.

Not really--
just...

Good with, uh, drunk women.

[Clears throat]

My ex.

Oh.

Huh.

Well...

This is my life.

I live with my parents.

I like it.
Thanks.

My son is very quiet
and withdrawn

and--and really needs me,
but he acts like he doesn't.

And, uh...
My daughter,

you've--you've met.

It's--it's kind of freaky.

You know,
it, um, oddly...

Doesn't freak me out.

It doesn't?

It terrifies me.

Maybe a little bit.

But, you know, what that--
what's that girl's name again?

Kelsey.
Kelsey said that thing

about me being
your boyfriend...

I didn't completely hate
the sound of that.

Really?

I didn't hate it either.

Um...

If I were to kiss you again,

you wouldn't get...

Weird on me
or ignore me at work

or pretend like it never
happened, would you?

Would you?

that was a terrifying glimpse
into our future.

Yeah, I don't think--
we--we got a couple years

until we have to worry about her
actually wearing makeup.

[Whispering]
It's coming, right? It's coming.

Yeah, and there's not a
damn thing we can do to stop it.

Can you promise me
something?

Promise me that with the next
one, time will slow down.

It will--it will
actually...

Slow down.

I promise.

You just lied to me,
didn't you?

Yes.
Yes, you did.

[Both laughing]

Mmm.

I just don't want
the little-kid phase to be over.

It's too fast.

I know.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh...

I love candy!

I love chocolate!

This is my favorite holiday!

Yeah.

[Candy wrappers crinkling]

Mmm, Mmm, Mmm.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Muffled]
You look sexy.

Thank you.
Okay.

[Laughing]

What is that?

Pretty much
like I hit a home run.

[Both laughing]

Oh, go

really?
I'll tell you what.

Next year, if you want,
we can play flashlight Monopoly.

No way.
Why not?

'Cause we're officially

a trick-or-treating family
now, honey.

Oh, yeah.
Max had so much fun.

I'm not going back to that.
[exhales deeply]

I am so tired,
I can't even remember

if I gave the speech
or if I just did it in my head.

All right, it goes
something like this.

Honey...

I love you.

And I want to thank you
for everything you did

to make tonight work.

You're welcome.
All right?

Yeah.

And I want to thank you

for the safety lights,

for the maps,

for harassing
all the neighbors,

for putting up
with my family

and putting up
with me, and...

I just want to thank you
for all the planning, you know,

and the fact that you
were willing to go see

Dr. Pelikan
and go along with it.

And, honestly, I don't know
how you make everything work

all the time, but you do--
you're amazing.

So I got you
a little something.

It's the last one.

Honey, that's very sweet.
Thank you.

[Giggles]

I love you, honey.

Hey, thank you.

This was really sweet
of you.

And I hate Halloween.

But I love you.

It's every cotton swab's
favorite candy.

[Laughs]

What are you doing?

You stealing from our kid?

Are you kidding me?

Ah, this is my favorite part
of Halloween.

Oh, yes.
Mmm.

[Chuckles]

What?
Huh?

I got chocolate
on my face?

Uh-huhyou do.

You look super cute, though.

I can't think of anything
I'd rather be doing

than sitting on the floor
with you,

pillaging our son's candy.

[Laughs]

Yeah, me too.

Hey.
Yeah?

I'm sorry I got weird
during the house hunting.

I just--what I should have said
to you is that...

I don't want you guys
to me into a house without me.

I want in.

I don't want to live
without you.

Come here.
Hop up on your knees.

Why?

What are you doing?

I think I'm--
I'm going--

well, no,
I'm definitely gonna...

Jasmine...
Mm-Hmm?

aka Pocahontas...

I've done some pretty awesome
things in my life--

jumped helicopters,
the Snake River Canyon--

but nothing
would be as awesome

as marrying you.

Will you marry me?

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