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~ Addic7ed.com ~
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[clock ticking]
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00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:12,615
[announcer]
You're watching "60 Minutes."
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00:00:12,705 --> 00:00:14,825
Here's Anderson Cooper.
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00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,625
Her birth name
is Stephanie Clifford,
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00:00:16,705 --> 00:00:18,415
but elementary-school
history books
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00:00:18,505 --> 00:00:21,045
will forever refer to her
as Stormy Daniels.
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00:00:21,125 --> 00:00:23,785
In 2006, she allegedly had sex with
a recently married Donald Trump,
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00:00:23,795 --> 00:00:28,255
his chin dripping with a Lipitor/bull
hormone/cookie-dough milkshake.
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00:00:28,345 --> 00:00:30,135
Then she accepted $130,000
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00:00:30,225 --> 00:00:33,515
to stay silent about
what Americans already
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00:00:33,595 --> 00:00:36,015
instinctively knew
in their amygdala hindbrain.
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00:00:36,105 --> 00:00:37,935
Here now is President Trump's
side of the story.
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00:00:38,015 --> 00:00:39,524
Stormy Daniels is lying.
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00:00:39,525 --> 00:00:42,944
Unless she says I'm a wildcat in
bed, in which case it's all true.
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00:00:42,945 --> 00:00:45,800
If this didn't happen,
why did she receive $130,000
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00:00:45,801 --> 00:00:48,622
from Michael Cohen, your lawyer,
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00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:51,365
who always looks like he just
realized he ate some bad clams?
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00:00:51,445 --> 00:00:54,265
The money was consolation
for missing out on the
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00:00:54,266 --> 00:00:57,085
most intense orgasmic
sexual awakening of her life.
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00:00:57,165 --> 00:01:00,097
I approach love-making like
I approach the breakfast buffet ...
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00:01:00,132 --> 00:01:03,295
me first and always a guy
nearby making omelets.
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00:01:03,375 --> 00:01:05,215
- Do you plan to pay back your lawyer?
- Nope.
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00:01:05,295 --> 00:01:08,175
Stormy Daniels claims you did not
sign the non-disclosure agreement.
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00:01:08,255 --> 00:01:10,175
I was too busy planning Space Force.
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00:01:10,265 --> 00:01:12,775
Isn't it great that cops,
teachers, and astronauts
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00:01:12,776 --> 00:01:16,415
are now militarized?
Hey, IRS agents!
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00:01:16,450 --> 00:01:19,645
Get ready for calculators
that shoot 20 rounds a second!
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00:01:19,725 --> 00:01:22,395
Does Stormy Daniels have compromising
pictures and videos of you?
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00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:24,104
And how much are you
looking forward to seeing
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00:01:24,105 --> 00:01:26,155
Mike Pence's face
after they're released?
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00:01:26,235 --> 00:01:29,407
I've seen the photos,
and it's clearly not my penis.
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00:01:29,442 --> 00:01:31,718
No part of me appears
on camera without several
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00:01:31,719 --> 00:01:33,995
ladles of Maybelline
Super Stay foundation.
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00:01:34,075 --> 00:01:38,375
Sir, this allegedly occurred one
year after you married Melania.
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00:01:38,455 --> 00:01:40,705
She's the foreign one
with the brown hair...?
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00:01:40,795 --> 00:01:42,374
Right, but me and
my pregnant wife
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00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:44,385
hadn't really defined
the relationship.
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00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:46,795
Even at the wedding, we were
like, "Where is this going?"
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00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:49,281
We've obtained audio
of an alleged encounter
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between you and Miss Daniels.
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_
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00:02:04,895 --> 00:02:06,125
[doorbell rings]
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_
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[announcer]
Go to 60MinutesOvertime.com
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00:02:12,535 --> 00:02:14,575
to watch Donald Trump explain
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00:02:14,655 --> 00:02:18,293
why Rex Tillerson,
the former CEO of Exxon,
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00:02:18,328 --> 00:02:21,415
was too much of a goody
two shoes for him.
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00:02:21,495 --> 00:02:22,492
[title music]
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00:02:22,493 --> 00:02:24,487
1x07 - Wealth Gap
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00:02:24,522 --> 00:02:26,719
Wow! What is this?
A thousand letters?
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00:02:30,173 --> 00:02:31,924
[camera shutters clicking]
[music]
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[man] Forbes Magazine
loves you so much, Donald!
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Now give me filthy rich.
So good.
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Now give me vain, glorious,
syphilitic boy-king rich.
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00:02:40,225 --> 00:02:43,105
You've done this before,
haven't you?
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00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:44,524
Now give me "blissfully unaware
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00:02:44,525 --> 00:02:47,113
that people won't stand
for this much longer" rich.
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00:02:47,648 --> 00:02:49,104
We got the shot.
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00:02:49,105 --> 00:02:50,740
We actually got it hours
ago, but you told me
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00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:53,194
to keep snapping so you
wouldn't have to go back to work.
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00:02:53,195 --> 00:02:55,865
What the hell is an
honorable mention?!
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00:02:55,945 --> 00:02:58,915
I told them I'm richer than God,
and they demanded proof!
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00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:01,915
When God shows His tax returns,
I'll show mine!
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00:03:01,995 --> 00:03:05,089
I'm sure it was just
an honest mistake.
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00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:07,493
Must be. I'm not gonna
spend another minute
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00:03:07,528 --> 00:03:10,424
- thinking about this stupid list.
- That's good, Donald.
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You do have a country to run, after all.
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00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:16,134
Number 70, Harold Hamm...
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00:03:16,135 --> 00:03:18,170
number 69, Masayoshi Son...
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00:03:18,205 --> 00:03:20,463
number 68,
the Hinduja brothers...
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00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,344
You listen to me, you son of a bitch.
I'm always on the list!
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00:03:24,345 --> 00:03:29,347
I was on Forbes' Richest 70 over 70
list when I was 65!
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00:03:30,315 --> 00:03:32,015
Was that the editor-in-chief?
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00:03:32,065 --> 00:03:33,833
Prime Minister of Indonesia.
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00:03:33,868 --> 00:03:35,104
He was calling about
an earthquake or something,
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and we got sidetracked.
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00:03:36,315 --> 00:03:39,695
You know, sir, there's really
only one list that matters.
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00:03:39,775 --> 00:03:42,995
Playboy's list of hottest women
without a father figure?
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00:03:43,075 --> 00:03:44,825
Saint Peter's list!
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00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:47,995
The list that determines who
gets into the big "H" upstairs
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00:03:48,075 --> 00:03:50,085
and who takes the
haunted hayride to hell.
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00:03:50,215 --> 00:03:53,135
Eh, you're right. No one reads
those dumb lists anyway.
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00:03:53,415 --> 00:03:56,358
What's all this?
Did Jeff Sessions die?
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Oh, I won't die for a long time.
I got work to do yet.
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00:04:00,055 --> 00:04:01,644
Sir, we heard the news
about Forbes.
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00:04:01,645 --> 00:04:05,175
We, of course, wanted to pay our
respects to your waning personal fortune.
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00:04:05,185 --> 00:04:06,935
Oh, my God.
Do you think I care
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00:04:07,025 --> 00:04:10,345
that Forbes said on page 25 that...
"a tough real-estate market,
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00:04:10,346 --> 00:04:14,695
costly lawsuit, and expensive
Presidential campaign...
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00:04:14,785 --> 00:04:18,575
reduced my wealth $600 million?"
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00:04:19,865 --> 00:04:22,443
- Yes. Absolutely. Yes.
- Wrong.
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00:04:22,478 --> 00:04:25,699
I am 100% secure with my net worth.
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00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:28,215
Speaking of, guess how much
it really is, Nuch.
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00:04:28,295 --> 00:04:32,135
Three... four...
twelve billion trillion?
96
00:04:32,215 --> 00:04:36,305
Exactly!
Three, four, twelve billion trillion.
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00:04:36,385 --> 00:04:39,015
Now tell everyone how many
feet of crap is in your pants.
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00:04:39,095 --> 00:04:40,764
Sir, if you do need some cash,
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00:04:40,765 --> 00:04:43,305
we started a GoFundMe
for you and your family.
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00:04:43,395 --> 00:04:45,515
I don't want your charity.
Give it to Mike Pence.
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00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:47,603
He's so poor, he believes in God!
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00:04:47,638 --> 00:04:50,941
Mike's so poor, before he offers
a penny for your thoughts,
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00:04:50,976 --> 00:04:53,315
he has to refinance his house!
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00:04:53,405 --> 00:04:55,735
Pence is so busted, he's
never chucked a Ford Fiesta
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00:04:55,825 --> 00:04:59,744
- into a lake just to piss off some fish.
- Material wealth is secondary
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to the wealth of an
unflinchingly righteous heart.
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00:05:02,415 --> 00:05:04,125
Although, now that you mention it,
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00:05:04,205 --> 00:05:07,479
I would like to see what electric
can openers are all about.
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00:05:07,814 --> 00:05:09,094
Forbes is full of it,
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00:05:09,095 --> 00:05:11,445
but on the off chance
that something slipped
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00:05:11,446 --> 00:05:13,795
through the cracks, I
need to check my accounts.
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[curtains slide]
You know the drill.
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00:05:16,006 --> 00:05:19,515
Just to reiterate, I do have
additional space on my scrotum.
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00:05:19,595 --> 00:05:22,305
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
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00:05:22,395 --> 00:05:25,605
Looks like someone's been
making questionable decisions
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00:05:25,685 --> 00:05:28,319
with my money
for the last five decades.
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00:05:28,354 --> 00:05:30,602
You've got to be loaded
to keep that wife of yours.
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00:05:30,637 --> 00:05:32,195
What does this
have to do with Melania?
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00:05:32,275 --> 00:05:34,815
Women only care about
one thing ... money.
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00:05:34,905 --> 00:05:36,605
Whereas all I need from a date
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00:05:36,655 --> 00:05:39,865
is absolute silence
and combative eye contact.
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Honey, do you think my
designer-shoe Ferris wheel
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00:05:43,665 --> 00:05:47,745
- should go here or here?
- Melania, imagine I was poor.
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00:05:47,835 --> 00:05:49,454
Would you still be married to me
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00:05:49,455 --> 00:05:52,255
if I could only afford
a normal-length, poor-guy tie?
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00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:55,845
Come on, Donald.
What would I do if I left you?
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00:05:55,925 --> 00:05:58,055
Live with the Crown Prince
of Saudi Arabia,
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00:05:58,135 --> 00:05:59,925
who already promised me
a Lamborghini
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00:06:00,015 --> 00:06:02,055
with gel doors
you can step through?
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00:06:02,135 --> 00:06:04,055
Now, where should
this big diamond go?
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00:06:04,145 --> 00:06:07,010
I usually use it to poke
open my FAGE yogurt.
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00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:08,685
[music]
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00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,489
[Vice President Pence]
Hey, Kare Bear?
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00:06:10,490 --> 00:06:12,159
Say I got incredibly rich
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00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,290
and we could have
everything we ever desired.
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00:06:14,370 --> 00:06:16,250
Would you still
want to be with me?
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00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:18,710
I don't put much stock
in material goods.
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00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:20,670
The only thing
Adam and Eve had to wear
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00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:24,970
was a pair of turtleneck sweaters,
and they did just fine.
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00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:29,251
I have everything I need.
Well, almost.
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00:06:29,286 --> 00:06:31,180
It's Jerry.
You miss him, don't you?
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00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:34,230
He was our first little angel piglet.
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00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:38,275
[voice breaking] And I'll always
regret the way his life was cut short.
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00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,650
I didn't mean to knock him
off the window sill.
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00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:43,400
I just wanted him to see
the first snowfall.
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00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,150
But I'm gonna do my darndest
to provide for us,
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00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,700
to fill that Jerry-sized gap
in our hearts.
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00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:53,391
[President Trump] So many
average Joes out there.
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00:06:53,426 --> 00:06:55,000
They all love me.
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00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,080
They think,
"Hey, I'm just like Donald Trump,
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00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:01,016
except he's rich and therefore
a million times better than me."
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00:07:01,051 --> 00:07:03,250
But no one loves a loser.
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00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,170
That's why I'm asking
for help from you,
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00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,430
the most average man in America,
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00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,850
"Fox & Friends" host Brian Kilmeade.
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00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,370
Thank you, sir.
As requested, I've conducted
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00:07:13,371 --> 00:07:15,810
a top-secret focus group
of Fox News viewers,
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00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:19,599
consisting mainly of elderly white
men waiting for diners to open.
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00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,462
Don't hold back.
I can handle it.
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00:07:21,497 --> 00:07:23,900
I have thick, ram-like skin.
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00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:26,530
Why haven't you responded to
what I just said? Do you hate me?
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00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:28,780
We asked respondents what they
would do if you were poor.
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00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:30,409
The most common answers ...
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00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:33,030
withdrawal of support,
violent uprising,
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00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,716
and use your body
to find out what happens
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00:07:35,751 --> 00:07:37,710
when a human steps outside
of a Space Shuttle.
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00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,330
My God.
I can't ever let them know.
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00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:42,710
Listen to me, Brian. You were
never here. You don't exist.
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00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:44,750
You're just skin wrapped
around a gooey core.
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00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,170
That's what Ailes used to say!
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00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:48,495
All right, boys, we're
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00:07:48,496 --> 00:07:51,999
gonna show this nation
that I'm still superduper rich.
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00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:55,157
Step one, add helicopter
propellers to all my houses.
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00:07:55,192 --> 00:07:56,339
I don't want to contradict you,
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00:07:56,340 --> 00:07:58,688
because you're my father
and I fucking love you,
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00:07:58,723 --> 00:08:00,760
but, like, some of The
Trump Organization numbers
177
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,179
- are not looking good.
- [crying] The office manager said
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00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:07,810
we couldn't have the Christmas
party and the K-Keebler Elf tree!
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00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:09,590
Pull it together, E-Roc!
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00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,980
We're in the clear so long as
we don't spend too much money
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00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:14,480
on dumb crap,
like wolf blacklight posters.
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00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:19,530
Actually, that poster is cool. [sobbing]
Dad, I need that wolf!
183
00:08:19,610 --> 00:08:21,650
Come on.
Stop crying, you two.
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00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:24,070
Wealth isn't about how
much money you have. [music]
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00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:26,780
It's about how much money
you rub in people's faces.
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00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:29,080
And right now this nation
needs to believe
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00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,160
that my wallet is stuffed
with something other than
188
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:33,660
gastroenterologists' business cards!
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00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:38,771
[music]
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00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:42,590
This poor, backwards country
wants to live vicariously
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00:08:42,670 --> 00:08:45,695
through an insanely rich leader,
so let's give 'em what they want.
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00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:48,929
Let me ask you ... how do you two
robber barons flaunt your spoils?
193
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:51,970
Real billionaires don't
talk about their money.
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00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:53,770
They just use it
to print textbooks
195
00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:57,650
that say God invented
dinosaurs in 1956.
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00:08:57,730 --> 00:08:59,770
People don't always know
I'm rich when they meet me.
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00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:01,529
A lot of them just assume
I'm their dentist.
198
00:09:01,530 --> 00:09:05,070
- That is, until I flash this baby.
- Say, that's a nice timepiece.
199
00:09:05,150 --> 00:09:08,370
- Really screams, "I looted your pension fund."
- Thank you!
200
00:09:08,450 --> 00:09:09,869
Gift from my wife,
what's-her-name,
201
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:12,540
after I threw her an
insanely expensive wedding.
202
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:13,409
Hmm!
203
00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:16,240
[music]
204
00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:16,949
[crowd] Hannity!
205
00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:18,898
Welcome back to Hannity,
206
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,079
where the conservative guests
are hot and the liberal guests
207
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,960
are weathered tires
made to look like people.
208
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,750
On to my new segment,
"Rich Guys"!
209
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,550
We're joined today
by the richest guy I know,
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00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:30,089
President Donald J. Trump.
211
00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:31,821
And "J" stands for Jackpot.
Am I right?
212
00:09:31,856 --> 00:09:33,905
I think I know that much.
[chuckles] Donald Trump.
213
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,220
Hey, Sean. It's a pleasure
to be here, in between
214
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:39,350
my enormously expensive habits
and princely dealings.
215
00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:41,889
So, what's the next rich thing
for America's favorite rich guy?
216
00:09:41,890 --> 00:09:44,690
The very unfair Forbes Magazine
217
00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:47,610
launched some untrue
accusations about my wealth!
218
00:09:47,690 --> 00:09:48,779
And to the haters, I say this ...
219
00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:51,583
Would a not-rich guy do this?
220
00:09:51,618 --> 00:09:55,370
Mrs. Melania ... S? ...
Trump...
221
00:09:55,450 --> 00:09:57,119
will you marry me again?
222
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,950
Only, this time,
at the most expensive
223
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,013
wedding in world history!
224
00:10:02,048 --> 00:10:04,210
When we come back, I,
Sean Hannity, as Melania Trump,
225
00:10:04,290 --> 00:10:07,540
describe the feeling
of being the happiest girl
226
00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:09,009
in the whole wide world!
227
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:10,209
[music]
228
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:13,750
Here she is, the most prized
Pence family heirloom ...
229
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,260
my great-great-grandmother
Fern's antique squirrel catcher.
230
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:20,460
I hate to part with her, but
Karen and I can no longer subsist
231
00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:22,930
on just my meager
public-sector salary.
232
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:24,599
My wife is gonna get such a kick
233
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,430
out of this real piece of Americana.
234
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,270
She's never been to real America.
235
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:32,440
- Doesn't have the proper shots.
- Wow! $200!
236
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,780
I shouldn't have looked at the
amount. Now God knows I know.
237
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,450
I can't wait to walk
into that church
238
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:39,949
wearing my million-dollar suit.
239
00:10:39,950 --> 00:10:42,280
It's gonna make Jesus
wish he were dead.
240
00:10:42,370 --> 00:10:45,950
I cannot wait, either!
It will be nice to get married again,
241
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,160
this time knowing full well
what I'm getting myself into.
242
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:52,539
- But are you sure we can afford it?
- Am I really the kind of guy
243
00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:55,460
that sinks millions of dollars
into bad ideas?
244
00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:58,090
Now, what do you think
about having a walk-in cake?
245
00:10:58,170 --> 00:11:03,350
Michael, are you sure we can afford
the California Pizza Kitchen?
246
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:07,100
I mean, this place has
pizzas and flatbreads.
247
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:09,640
I feel like the Marquis de Sade.
248
00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:14,400
- And I've got one more surprise.
- [gasps] Jerry?!
249
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:19,490
- How could it be?
- It's Jerry's son, Jerry Jr.
250
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:21,990
He's young and full of fight.
Do you like him?
251
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:24,370
He's beautiful!
252
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:28,660
But, uh, I got to know, how
much is this gonna set us back?
253
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:30,607
No more money talk tonight.
In fact...
254
00:11:30,642 --> 00:11:32,710
Waiter!
Another round of CPK lemonades
255
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:36,000
for me and wife, Karen Pence!
256
00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:39,353
And, sir! We'll take all
the napkins you can carry!
257
00:11:39,388 --> 00:11:41,220
Ooooooh!
258
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:45,050
So, after I arrive at the
ceremony in a silver sleigh,
259
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:47,510
I'll roll on golden
billiards to the altar.
260
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,731
Right. And at the reception,
we'll serve an edible line
261
00:11:50,766 --> 00:11:53,100
of Ivanka Trump cocktail dresses.
262
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:56,230
Uh, hate to be the buzz slayer,
but it is my fiduciary duty
263
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,360
to inform everyone that
from a business standpoint,
264
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,900
your wedding is shooting
money out of its hairy ass.
265
00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:04,030
Exactly.
See ya at the reception.
266
00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:06,717
Hold up, Dad!
The vendors are demanding cash
267
00:12:06,752 --> 00:12:08,540
and threatening to kick my ass.
268
00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:10,910
It doesn't help that I keep
getting ripped off
269
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,870
- by bogus swan wranglers!
- Don't worry, fellas.
270
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,920
If there's one thing
I know how to do,
271
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,790
it's to pull myself out
of a money pit using
272
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,630
the world's most sophisticated
business techniques.
273
00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:22,410
You've seen the red MAGA hats,
[music]
274
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:25,168
the white "Build the Wall" hats,
and the pink
275
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,550
"Lock Her Up" hats for
Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
276
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:32,600
But today I present the next
generation of MAGA must-haves!
277
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:36,190
First, the official
Donald J. Trump step ladder!
278
00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:39,480
This thing is a real beauty.
[snap]
279
00:12:39,570 --> 00:12:41,109
That's gold for ya, folks.
280
00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:45,351
Next up, a sack of MAGA-brand
oysters aged to perfection.
281
00:12:45,386 --> 00:12:51,330
- Ben, how's that taste?
- Like the damp underside of the boardwalk.
282
00:12:51,410 --> 00:12:53,810
Tremendous! All of these
products are available
283
00:12:53,845 --> 00:12:55,940
on my website, whitehouse.gov.
284
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:57,170
Remember ...
every dollar you spend
285
00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:59,710
is a dollar that gets
to attend my wedding!
286
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:00,919
[cheers and applause]
287
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:06,130
$3.99 at Michaels?
Two Yankee Candles?
288
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:09,850
That can't be right.
Karen, our identity has been stolen!
289
00:13:09,930 --> 00:13:11,970
Don't be silly, Michael.
290
00:13:12,060 --> 00:13:15,676
I just swung by the mall for
a couple Kare Bear necessities.
291
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:18,520
That reminds me ...
I'm heading to JCPenney
292
00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:21,978
to pick up some earrings that
look like little pumpkins.
293
00:13:22,013 --> 00:13:25,736
But you already have those earrings
that look like little jingle bells.
294
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:28,095
Since I updated my wardrobe,
295
00:13:28,130 --> 00:13:30,990
Steve Mnuchin's wife
no longer clutches her purse
296
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,780
when we ride the elevator.
297
00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:36,790
And Betsy DeVos doesn't direct me
to the nearest winter-coat drive.
298
00:13:36,870 --> 00:13:39,750
Things are finally coming up
Karen Sue Pence!
299
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,840
- All right. You go to Penneys.
- Thanks, sweetheart.
300
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,020
Jerry Jr. and I love you so much.
301
00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:48,336
He whispered it to me when
I was brushing his teeth!
302
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,831
Melania, you should've seen the
way those people ate up my merch.
303
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:56,480
They all wanted a piece
of Mr. Luxury himself.
304
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:58,570
That's me, by the way.
I'm trying that name out.
305
00:13:58,650 --> 00:14:02,070
Stick to the name "Trump."
It's synonymous with high-quality.
306
00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:04,487
[gavel banging]
Have you or someone you know
307
00:14:04,522 --> 00:14:07,099
been injured by a Donald Trump
brand MAGA product?
308
00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:09,941
If so, you may be entitled
to mountains of money.
309
00:14:09,976 --> 00:14:11,960
Hi! I'm Ted Cruz!
310
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,054
And I am working to get you
the cash you deserve!
311
00:14:15,089 --> 00:14:17,880
Call today! I'll answer
on or before the first ring,
312
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,380
as I'm often mashing
the answer button already,
313
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,720
just in case someone calls
and then regrets it!
314
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,351
? Flip past the Jews
and choose Ted Cruz ?
315
00:14:26,386 --> 00:14:29,680
Well, that is the last time
I try to do something nice.
316
00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:32,326
[music]
317
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,300
I don't usually fraternize
with environmental lobbyists.
318
00:14:37,380 --> 00:14:40,885
- So, what's the offer?
- You spare 2,000 acres
319
00:14:40,886 --> 00:14:42,800
of deciduous forest preserve,
320
00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:46,930
and this $800
goes to your super PAC.
321
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:51,150
Dear God, I know you had those
acres earmarked for copper mining,
322
00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:54,310
but I have to give Karen the
life she's always dreamed of ...
323
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,650
multi-colored scrunchies and all.
324
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:59,505
[President Trump] Ted, I can't
keep settling your lawsuits.
325
00:14:59,540 --> 00:15:01,950
Sorry, Donald!
I'm a shark!
326
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,120
And not just due to the
license plates in my stomach
327
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,290
and the fact that people put up
"Beach Is Closed" signs
328
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:08,790
whenever I'm spotted
near a vacation town!
329
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,670
What do you even need
the money for?
330
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:12,800
I always wanted to be a rich dude ...
331
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,247
cuff links, socks, deodorant...
332
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:17,591
get that fallen oak tree
removed from my living room,
333
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,921
a separate room for my wailing,
invalid, ghost granny.
334
00:15:20,956 --> 00:15:23,076
Gonna build a tower
next to your tower, Don,
335
00:15:23,111 --> 00:15:27,140
slap the name "Ted Cruz" in
pea green right on the front!
336
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:30,539
Thinkin' 900 floors!
Adabba, dabba, dabba, dooba,
337
00:15:30,574 --> 00:15:32,059
dabba, dooba, dabba,
dooba, dabba, doo!
338
00:15:32,947 --> 00:15:35,280
[woman] Speaking on behalf of
the National Arbor Society,
339
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:40,160
we celebrate this oak sapling,
who only stands here today
340
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,888
because of the conservation efforts
of Vice President Mike Pence.
341
00:15:44,923 --> 00:15:47,217
That sapling better
keep its mouth shut!
342
00:15:47,252 --> 00:15:50,750
Michael!
Don't ruin such a lovely occasion.
343
00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:55,857
Especially when I'm looking sporty
in my new Chico's denim utility vest.
344
00:15:55,892 --> 00:15:58,180
Because I got the store credit card,
345
00:15:58,260 --> 00:16:02,300
I get 3% off, plus a free
bookmark on my birthday!
346
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:05,520
May God and the Koch brothers
have mercy on my soul.
347
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,850
[Don Jr.] So, to discredit
all these people
348
00:16:07,930 --> 00:16:09,990
in Ted Cruz's class-action lawsuit,
349
00:16:10,025 --> 00:16:12,980
we did like you said
and took out full-page ads
350
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:15,640
attacking their character
in their hometown newspapers.
351
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,360
I think it's really working,
352
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,990
because now they're all
suing you for libel.
353
00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,739
- Whew!
- I don't feel well.
354
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:24,440
I'm starting to sweat
through my undersuit.
355
00:16:24,490 --> 00:16:27,200
I need the calm,
soothing voice of Hannity.
356
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,460
[Sean Hannity]
Everyone, shut up!
357
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:32,830
Welcome back to
Rich Guys: Bad Boy Edition.
358
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,960
[crowd] Rich Guys!
Bad Boy Edition.
359
00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:39,050
I'm here with the newly minted
multimillionaire Ted Cruz.
360
00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:41,739
And, boy, Ted, I've got
a bone to pick with you.
361
00:16:41,774 --> 00:16:43,050
Get him, Sean!
362
00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:44,639
It says here ... Hold on.
363
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,470
You made your fortune by
pilfering from the coffers
364
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,940
of the richest man in history,
President Donald Jackpot Trump.
365
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,689
- What gives?
- Yep, yep, yep, yep. That's true.
366
00:16:53,690 --> 00:16:55,359
That's true, Sean.
That's true.
367
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,400
But we live in a country
where no one-percenter
368
00:16:58,490 --> 00:16:59,989
should ever have to justify
369
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:03,200
why or how he obtained
his massive fortune!
370
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,870
Can't argue with that. Wow.
Ted Cruz, you won me over.
371
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:07,740
Now that you're not
just barely rich
372
00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:09,941
but you're actually fantastically rich,
373
00:17:09,976 --> 00:17:11,250
I love everything about you.
374
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,380
Can I just look at you?
375
00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:15,170
[humming] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like that.
376
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:18,703
Ooh! Yeah! Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
377
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,090
Aaaaah!
[screams]
378
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,818
[music]
379
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,260
That's a lot of nutmeg, Karen.
380
00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:28,680
Oh, so, now you're
the nutmeg police?
381
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:32,310
Karen These cost
$4.99 apiece at Food Safe!
382
00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:34,600
Come on.
Get seasoned, Daddy.
383
00:17:34,690 --> 00:17:38,279
- Ride the nut with me, Mike.
- What's next? Rosemary?
384
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,070
You're too late, baby.
I done did it.
385
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:44,562
- Karen! No!
- [gasps] Give it to me! I need it!
386
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,200
- Mamma's gotta nut!
- Oh! This is all my fault!
387
00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:50,290
I should never
have bought Jerry Jr.!
388
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,120
I should have let
what's lost stay buried.
389
00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:57,250
- But it ends today!
- Nooo! [garbage disposal whirs]
390
00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:01,050
It's for your own good, Karen.
You've become an unruly woman.
391
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:05,340
So, that's how you want
to play it, Michael.
392
00:18:05,430 --> 00:18:07,694
Please! Not Jerry Jr.!
393
00:18:07,729 --> 00:18:09,350
He doesn't understand
what's happening!
394
00:18:09,430 --> 00:18:11,390
He's just a little baby.
395
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,730
Look at you, standing there
all high and mighty,
396
00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:19,940
with a shiny, new wide-toothed
comb in your pocket!
397
00:18:20,030 --> 00:18:25,320
- It was free!
- With a $5 shampoo at Great Clips!
398
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:29,764
- You hypocrite!
- No! He can't wind up like his daddy!
399
00:18:29,799 --> 00:18:34,410
Goodbye, Jerry Jr.
And goodbye, Michael.
400
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:35,999
[shatters]
401
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,963
[sobbing]
402
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,670
I can't believe I sprained
my hand grabbing Eric's scalp.
403
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,510
How could you do that to me, Eric?!
404
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,760
You're right, Dad.
I shouldn't have ...
405
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,299
What did I do, exactly?
406
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,390
Dad, these vendors are
literally kicking me in the ass!
407
00:18:50,470 --> 00:18:52,770
I got sucker-punched
by a fucking florist!
408
00:18:52,850 --> 00:18:55,119
You'll need more money if you
want to pay for this wedding.
409
00:18:55,154 --> 00:18:58,860
And a new crop of bogus
swan wranglers.
410
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:01,900
Also, I fucked up the
hot-tub filter really bad ...
411
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:04,400
shit-ton of egg whites
in there now. Heh-heh.
412
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:07,160
[Melania] Where is my
girthy groom hiding?
413
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,239
Everybody, shut up.
414
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,530
When Melania comes in
here, do not mention
415
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:14,101
anything about M-O-N-E-Y
dollar sign, dollar sign,
416
00:19:14,102 --> 00:19:15,750
cha-ching, cash, awooga!
417
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:17,790
Hello, sweetheart.
418
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:20,790
So nice of you to check on me.
Bye-bye now.
419
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,259
You're acting weird.
And why is your hand in a cast
420
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:25,960
and Eric missing half of his hair?
421
00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:28,220
Just your run-of-the-mill pre-wedding
bone snaps and head trauma.
422
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:32,272
Are you excited for the cocktail hour,
with redirected asteroid fly-over?
423
00:19:32,307 --> 00:19:35,890
I nixed that. SpaceX wanted
a $3-million deposit.
424
00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:37,190
And when I didn't have it,
425
00:19:37,191 --> 00:19:41,650
Elon Musk laughed my ass
straight out of his rocket factory!
426
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:44,650
[sobs] Ohh! Elon!
Ever since the Forbes came out,
427
00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:47,312
he keeps sending me
heart-shaped Mars rocks,
428
00:19:47,347 --> 00:19:50,881
so maybe I could call him
and ask for a discount.
429
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,949
No. Absolutely not.
I've never said this before,
430
00:19:53,950 --> 00:19:56,580
but, Melania,
we are paying full price.
431
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:59,210
Okay, great. I invited
my 100-year-old nana
432
00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:03,500
who may survive one flight but
definitely won't survive two.
433
00:20:03,590 --> 00:20:06,891
Dad, I love you,
but you are so fucked.
434
00:20:06,926 --> 00:20:09,031
[music]
435
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:15,560
[music]
436
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:19,480
Mike, I'm gonna need to
stay with you for a while.
437
00:20:19,570 --> 00:20:20,689
Money's a little tight.
438
00:20:20,690 --> 00:20:23,070
Had to Airbnb my place to Mnuchin.
439
00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:24,649
He wanted to show his wife,
what's-her-name,
440
00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:26,490
a piece of real American history.
441
00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:29,280
So, you put the
squirrel bait in here ...
442
00:20:29,370 --> 00:20:31,830
cheese, peanut butter,
some pert little acorn bulbs.
443
00:20:31,910 --> 00:20:34,660
And then, bam,
closes right on the little sucker.
444
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:37,080
That's gross!
445
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:39,590
Count of three,
say what you're thinking.
446
00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,573
One, two, three.
447
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:43,300
- This place fucking sucks.
- This place fucking sucks.
448
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,400
I'll take the bed.
It's not an imposition.
449
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,570
And I don't want to hear
another word about it.
450
00:20:47,650 --> 00:20:49,860
Whatever. Nothing matters
now that I've lost
451
00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:52,280
the two most important
things in my life ...
452
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:56,242
my wife of 32 years
and my porcelain angel pig.
453
00:20:56,277 --> 00:20:57,537
What'd you do ... have an affair
454
00:20:57,572 --> 00:20:59,557
and then publicize it
in a national newspaper?
455
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:03,361
- No. We got into it over ...
- Eh, it turns out I don't care.
456
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,039
Mediterranean Breeze?
457
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,880
Cherries in Snow?
458
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:14,590
[gasps] Sage and Citrus!
A nasal mistress!
459
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,324
[dramatic music]
460
00:21:19,270 --> 00:21:21,020
Ma'am.
What are you doing?
461
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:25,520
You can't stop this
candle train to Wax Town!
462
00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:26,769
Aaaah!
463
00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:28,229
[crunching]
464
00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:30,900
Your Oreo cookies taste
like crap, Mike.
465
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:34,240
Karen, it's me. Your husband.
Michael Pence.
466
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,529
I'll buy you all the
seasonings you want
467
00:21:36,564 --> 00:21:41,370
and donate my comb to the church.
Just, please, come home.
468
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:44,580
I used to think it was men
licking each other's thighs,
469
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:47,960
but the love of money truly
is the root of all evil.
470
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,740
Look, Mike, money's great.
471
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,010
It's just hard to
get rich and stay rich.
472
00:21:52,090 --> 00:21:54,720
You should consider yourself
lucky to be poor as piss.
473
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,698
That way, you never
disappoint anybody.
474
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,640
Let's hope the ladies I meet
in the dating pool agree.
475
00:21:59,675 --> 00:22:04,640
Say, do women still like being
taken to popcorn festivals?
476
00:22:04,730 --> 00:22:06,309
Mike, get Karen back.
477
00:22:06,310 --> 00:22:08,570
If she leaves you,
you'll be dead by dawn.
478
00:22:08,650 --> 00:22:12,149
- Ugh! These Oreo cookies...
- Yeah, you're right.
479
00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:15,240
How do you maintain
your storybook romance?
480
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,570
Melania loves me because I'm...
481
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:20,540
[crying] the richest man
in the whole world.
482
00:22:20,620 --> 00:22:25,079
And America loves me, too, right?!
Right, Mike?!
483
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:29,630
Tell me America loves me,
you stubborn fucking asshole!
484
00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:32,405
Of course, sir.
Your supporters don't love you
485
00:22:32,406 --> 00:22:35,496
because you're any old rich guy,
but because
486
00:22:35,531 --> 00:22:38,180
you act like how
they would act if they got rich.
487
00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:40,600
They'd have fast food
delivered on demand,
488
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,930
they'd buy 20 TVs,
and they'd blame the world's ills
489
00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:46,195
on those less fortunate than them.
490
00:22:46,230 --> 00:22:48,270
You know what, Mike?
You're right.
491
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:51,940
And you don't need three, four,
twelve billion trillion dollars
492
00:22:52,030 --> 00:22:54,989
to do those things.
When all is said and done,
493
00:22:54,990 --> 00:22:57,610
all you really need
is a billion dollars.
494
00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:58,989
[crunches]
[telephone rings]
495
00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:00,579
Pence residence. It's Sunday.
You should be in church.
496
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:03,620
Heavens to Betsy!
I'll be right there!
497
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,250
[music]
498
00:23:06,330 --> 00:23:08,580
I knew women only
cared about money!
499
00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:10,380
Shut up, Stephen,
or I'll tell Donald
500
00:23:10,460 --> 00:23:12,380
that you sneak into our room
to inhale his breath
501
00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:13,589
while he sleeps.
502
00:23:13,590 --> 00:23:16,310
What I do with your husband's
breath is...
503
00:23:16,357 --> 00:23:19,100
- none of your business!
- Hmm.
504
00:23:19,220 --> 00:23:21,930
Forbes Magazine.
They do their research.
505
00:23:22,010 --> 00:23:25,980
I had to restrain her for her
own safety, as well as mine.
506
00:23:26,060 --> 00:23:29,440
She bit my ear lobe pretty bad.
Swallowed my gauge, too.
507
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,360
Oh, Kare Bear.
What has become of you?
508
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,135
Ohh. I got carried away
with the idea of being
509
00:23:36,136 --> 00:23:39,970
a fancy woman about town,
walking out of Chico's
510
00:23:39,971 --> 00:23:44,620
with enough bags to feel like
Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman"
511
00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:48,710
after she found a store willing
to sell clothing to whores.
512
00:23:48,790 --> 00:23:49,749
I am so sorry.
513
00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:52,880
No, Karen, I'm the one
who should be sorry.
514
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,010
I tried to keep up with all
those belt-wearing hotshots
515
00:23:56,090 --> 00:23:57,259
in the Cabinet Room,
516
00:23:57,260 --> 00:23:59,970
and I endangered our union
in the process.
517
00:24:00,050 --> 00:24:02,050
Do you forgive me?
518
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:07,179
- Can I keep the Chico's vest?
- Let's compromise.
519
00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:09,440
You can visit it in the store
whenever you like.
520
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:10,649
Deal.
521
00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,152
Uh, Dad, this fairy-tale wedding
522
00:24:13,187 --> 00:24:16,230
has turned into
a fairy-tale ass-kicking!
523
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,530
It's time to pony up some cash
524
00:24:18,610 --> 00:24:21,530
or admit that you can't
afford this biatch!
525
00:24:21,610 --> 00:24:22,619
I don't know, Don.
526
00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:24,386
Can you fight off
the vendors another day?
527
00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:25,700
I mean, your legs still bend.
528
00:24:25,790 --> 00:24:26,949
I'm not gonna tell you
where the pastry chef
529
00:24:26,950 --> 00:24:30,870
just put the piping bag,
but now I'm a walking �clair.
530
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,500
He put it up my ass.
So make a decision, dude!
531
00:24:34,590 --> 00:24:36,300
[music]
532
00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:39,529
One billion dollars
533
00:24:39,564 --> 00:24:42,300
that I definitely do have.
534
00:24:42,390 --> 00:24:43,719
[sobbing]
535
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,600
[Melania] Donald, I've been
looking for you.
536
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,809
Melania.
537
00:24:46,810 --> 00:24:50,607
[music]
538
00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:56,020
Donald Trump's $1-billion
wedding has been canceled!
539
00:24:56,110 --> 00:24:59,740
The president says he refuses to
throw himself an amazing party
540
00:24:59,820 --> 00:25:02,610
until our nation's borders
have been padlocked
541
00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:05,530
and the keys have been swallowed
by a mythical sea beast!
542
00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:08,937
Next up, has ISIS infiltrated
the wedding-planning industry?
543
00:25:08,972 --> 00:25:11,830
We've got correspondent
Donald Trump Jr. on the phone.
544
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,710
[Don Jr.] The answer is,
yes, they fucking have.
545
00:25:14,790 --> 00:25:16,339
ISIS fucked me up!
546
00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:19,300
So, maybe we lost a few
million in swan deposits
547
00:25:19,380 --> 00:25:21,930
and a six-story wedding cake
with icing shutters.
548
00:25:22,010 --> 00:25:24,922
- But at least I saved Don Jr.'s life.
- To be clear,
549
00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:27,309
I'm the one who canceled the
wedding without you knowing.
550
00:25:27,310 --> 00:25:30,270
Yeah, but I'm the one
who couldn't afford it.
551
00:25:30,350 --> 00:25:32,402
[sighs]
Fine. You win.
552
00:25:32,437 --> 00:25:35,440
Just stop lying to me about money.
553
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,690
There's only so many lies
one woman can take.
554
00:25:37,770 --> 00:25:40,070
I thought you said you'd
never leave me over money.
555
00:25:40,150 --> 00:25:42,898
Actually I said if I was
ever going to leave you,
556
00:25:42,933 --> 00:25:46,870
I would have done it a long,
long, long time ago.
557
00:25:46,950 --> 00:25:49,804
Although, if your net worth
ever drops below $100 billion,
558
00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:51,960
we will have to have
a serious discussion!
559
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,130
['80s-style pop music plays]
# Donald Trump is the president #
560
00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:59,760
? Donald Trump
is the president ?
561
00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:02,220
? Is Donald Trump the president? ?
562
00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:03,679
? Yes, he is ?
563
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,810
? Yes, he is,
we elected him president ?
564
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:09,480
? Is Donald Trump the president? ?
565
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,019
? Yes, he is ?
566
00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:13,940
? We had a vote
and elected him president ?
567
00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:19,030
? Donald Trump is the president ?
568
00:26:20,730 --> 00:26:22,870
? Donald Trump ?
569
00:26:22,950 --> 00:26:26,290
? He is our president ?
570
00:26:26,370 --> 00:26:29,750
? We made him president ?
571
00:26:29,830 --> 00:26:32,090
? We did it ?
572
00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:36,010
? Donald Trump is the president ?
573
00:26:36,090 --> 00:26:39,090
? We elected Donald Trump ?
574
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:42,600
? Donald Trump is the president ?
575
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,140
? Donald Trump
is the president ?
576
00:26:46,230 --> 00:26:49,310
? Yeah ?
577
00:26:49,861 --> 00:26:51,100
Trump!
578
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:56,421
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
579
00:26:56,471 --> 00:27:01,021
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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