Original subtitles

Jackie: Previously on "Nurse Jackie"...

Today we welcome back Dr. Roman

from her three-month probation.

And the award goes to?

Me.

I gave a scholarship to my alma mater.

Kind of at a place in my life where I want to feel more fulfilled.

It's a lot lighter than I expected.

I'll make it up to you tomorrow.

All right. Counting on it.

(Snorting)

Antoinette: Keep going to meetings.

Work the steps. You got a sponsor.

I'm not very good with authority.

Okay, I am very good with people who are not good with authority.

Listen up, people. Con Ed is working on the power grid.

What's up with these generators not kicking in?

- (Generators power up) - (Machine beeps)

I'll look into it.

Hey, Alexa. Towel, please.

Alexa doesn't work here anymore.

- What? - She got busted for selling drugs.

How fucked up is that?

(Theme music playing)

Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com

(Man vocalizing)

Frank: Honey, I am still waiting for one good reason

I can't take you out tonight.

Don't we do fun things when we stay in?

Fun? Some of them are downright indecent.

- Hmm hmm hmm. - (Knocking)

Oh, all right. That's Kevin and the girls.

Will you do me a favor? Would you hop in the shower?

What, are we teenagers and Mom and Dad are coming home?

- Hi. - Mommy.

- Kevin: Hey, hey, we made it. - Mommy, Mommy, pick me up.

Oh, I don't know, sweetie. You're kind of big for that.

- Pick me up, please. - Sweetie. Whoops, okay.

- How you doing up there? - God, Fi, how old are you?

Not a good question to ask a lady.

Don't let us kill your morning.

- We'll just pick it up and go. - Oh, yes.

- Sweetie, just a minute. - You forgot? Seriously?

Your birth certificate? No, it's right here. I remembered.

- You getting your learner's permit? - Passport.

My friend Mandy's parents own this perfume company in Provence.

I'm going to intern in the lab this summer.

This is not for your learner's permit?

I thought she told you.

- Pick me up. - Can we just do this and go? Jesus.

- Pick me up. - Where are you planning on staying?

- Pick me up. - They have this, like, huge villa.

Grace, I don't even know these people.

It'll be fine. Stop.

Fi, stop it. You are too big for this. Stop it.

Sweetie, I'm sorry.

France is not a done deal.

Oh, no, I am going.

No, not until your father and I discuss it.

Tell you what. Come by the bar tonight. You, too, Frank.

We can't. We're going out.

- I'll call you, okay? - Okay.

Fi, sweetie, I'm sorry. Can I have a hug?

I'll talk to you later.

(Exhales)

Okay.

But I'm gonna hold you to that.

There were witnesses.

All right, where are we going?

It's a secret.

I hate secrets.

(Door closes)

(Cabinet opens)

(Tin rattles)

(Pills rattle)

(Sighs)

Quick. You. Quick.

(Engine revving)

Gloria, you bought a penis car?

I didn't buy a penis car.

I won a penis car in a poker game last night.

'65, huh?

Look at that. It's in mint condition, too.

Exactly what the guy with the three kings said

when he put his pink slip in the pot.

Seems I have a poker face.

Not today.

Some people will do anything for attention.

What?

Do you... okay.

His name is Maksym Gabor. 67, unresponsive.

- Prep trauma. - BP is 100 over 50.

Struck by a Zipcar while riding a Citi Bike.

Who didn't see that one coming?

(Knocks)

I'm a little busy, Dr. Roman.

I'm sorry, Dr. Roman? Brr, dude.

Do you have any idea what kind of women troll those sites?

I'll let you know.

(P.A. cutting out) Dr... oman... auma.

I think they need you in trauma.

Whatever.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm sure it sucks to get arrested,

but I'll tell you what, it's pretty sucky over here, too.

I am totally out.

Don't say it.

Totally out of sandwiches.

I mean, how lame is it a nurse can't get a free lunch at work?

I don't steal sandwiches from work.

Is that some kind of fucked-up personal code?

It's a too-fucking-smart- to-get-caught code.

Fucking asshole.

(Sighs)

I really don't need your help.

- Favorite movie... "Goodfellas"? - It's a classic.

And a red flag that you're a mouth-breather and all the fun that brings.

(Keyboard clicking)

- "The Notebook"? - Put your sensitive self out there, Coop.

Trust the experience of a middle-aged man

who recently found his soul mate online.

Really? A new boyfriend?

What happened with you and mime?

We never talked.

What do you think of the picture?

- It's too... - Yes.

What? It's friendly and dignified.

You're selling sensitivity, not reverse mortgages.

We'll take another. Favorite book?

- Definitely "The Shining." - Perfect.

"Catcher in the Rye."

More light, please, nurse.

- (People exclaim) - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Keep your eyes closed. Eyes closed.

Very sorry about this.

Zoey here's gonna clean you up and discharge you.

And, again, my apologies.

- (P.A. squeals) - Mrs. Ak... would you please re...

(Static)

Attention. Ak... repor... to ER.

Fuck!

The P.A.'s broken. We can't hear you.

- Okay, I said... - Akalitus is in the chapel.

Thought you said you couldn't hear me.

Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?

(Heart monitor beeping)

Mr. Gabor?

Squeeze my hand if a doctor

has diagnosed you with anything.

Sophia.

Yes, your wife is on her way.

Sophia.

Can I talk to you for a second, please?

From the surge after the brownout.

Lucky we didn't lose this place.

We are losing it.

Piece by piece, we're losing it.

The P.A. system is down again.

I just broke a lightbulb over a patient.

Like I was christening a ship.

Bulbs break. P.A. systems cost.

The brownout was an act of God.

Or Con Ed. They're pretty much the same.

Do you know how tired I am of bringing all this shit to you?

Back at ya. We make do.

Oh, okay.

So what, I'm supposed to bring in my own duct tape, baling wire?

What's next, my own syringes?

Tone, Dr. Prentiss.

Yeah, that's the word, all right.

Tone.

And the tone that you set is what?

Defeat?

Excuse me.

Dr. Cooper wants you to call bay two's

asthma prescription to her local pharmacy.

Can you dial this for me?

Anything else? Dinner reservations?

Uh, no. No, I'm good.

(Buttons clicking)

Hello, this is Dr. Carrie Roman.

My DEA number?

Are you ready?

AR-602-718-8.

Tonight, let's get you out.

Forget all about work.

Forget?

Now you sound like Akalitus.

(Sighs)

Men, huh?

Look at me. I get to say that now.

All we do is have sex or talk about work.

What is that?

It's a relationship, Zoey.

I want to get him out.

Do something we don't do every night,

which is nothing. Oh, my God!

Let's go to dinner tonight.

I can't. Frank is taking me out.

We can double.

No. I don't even know where we're going.

- It's a surprise. - Seriously?

You're so lucky.

Yeah, I lead a charmed life.

Want to take a ride in my car?

Um, kind of working.

Ike Prentiss gave me a ration of shit for not stepping up.

Stepping up about what? The P.A.?

The P.A., everything.

Hell of it is, he may be right.

Jackie, have I gotten complacent

and not noticed it?

You're doing the best you can with what you got.

I mean, what more can you do?

Thanks for that.

You've been so clearheaded.

(Touch tones beeping)

Hi, yes, this is Dr. Carrie Roman.

I'm calling in an Oxycontin prescription

for my patient to pick up.

Yes, my DEA number...

AR-602-718-8.

(Exhaling)

I'm sorry, Ms. Wood.

I know Dr. Roman called it in.

Did she mention there's a 24-hour waiting period on Oxycontin?

Ow.

You all right?

You don't have any back there?

I hate seeing such a pretty gal in pain.

I sure wish there was something I could do for you.

A massage might loosen you up.

Hi. What are you doing right now?

I hit on a pharmacist.

To score? Oh, that is grim.

Jackie, are you using again?

Is this what sponsorship is?

- I call you for help and you accuse me? - Easy, now.

Look, I fucking bailed on rehab 'cause it's bullshit.

I go to meetings, they are bullshit.

You're pretty much it for me.

You called me, Jackie.

You told me to call you if I needed help.

(Sighs)

Okay, the cravings can't be new.

So is something going on at work or at home?

Well, my daughter Grace,

I don't know what's going on with her.

Fiona is 10

and every time I see her she acts like a three-year-old.

I've completely lost touch with my kids.

Well, you screwed up.

Your kids didn't ask for Mom to be an addict, did they?

I kicked the shit out of my family, too.

But that's addiction.

I hate to break it to you, Jackie Peyton,

you are not unique.

You have kids?

Mm-hmm.

Wow, a pharmacist.

(Groans)

Oh, I once blew a guy for a daiquiri.

(Laughs) Shit happens.

No, it's an old habit.

I cheated on my husband with the hospital pharmacist.

Oh! I knew I liked you.

(Both laugh)

Mr. Gabor is still not talking.

- Ooh, books. - Yeah.

A present for Grace.

She is going to France this summer.

I know. She's so excited.

Don't tell me. Your 10th grade math teacher

saw your dating profile and sent you a bathroom selfie.

No. But I did get an unusual response.

I've been recruited by a sperm scout.

Oh, we are so good.

Yeah. This says my looks, status,

and obvious sensitivity

make me a prime candidate

in the upscale sperm donor market.

Weird? Not weird?

You are going to do this.

You must. Coop, how many of us at our age

are sought out for these opportunities?

It is kind of cool.

A bunch of mini Coops.

Mmm.

I feel like today you and I gave birth.

Jackie, this is Mrs. Gabor.

We're doing absolutely everything we can for your husband.

Sophia.

I'm here, Maksym.

Did you get his history?

Not yet.

Come on, I was getting to that.

- (Monitor beeping rapidly) - Respiratory arrest.

What...

Step out, Doctor. Now, please.

Focus on me. Right here.

Did he have any preexisting conditions?

Yes, he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

- Patient history of CHF. - Zoey, prep 80 mg of Lasix

- and four of morphine, please. - Shit. Difficulty oxygenating.

O2 sat slipping.

Jackie: BP 70 over 40. Dropping.

- Cooper: Still not breathing. - Sophia: Maksym.

Pushing Lasix.

Maksym! (Crying)

He's breathing. Weak, but hanging on.

(Mumbling)

(Speaking Ukrainian)

You're doing great. Stay with me.

- What is he saying? - I don't know.

He moved from Ukraine as a boy.

We only spoke English.

(Speaking Ukrainian)

What, Maksym? What?

He said, "I cannot die

without telling you something, my sweetness."

I'm fluent in Ukrainian.

(Speaking Ukrainian)

Please, Doctor, tell me, what is he saying?

I have had an outside wife

in Yonkers for 20 days...

years. Oh.

And fathered two strong boys

who you never knew about.

Oh, my God.

(Speaking Ukrainian)

I could not take this to my car...

grave.

O2 sat rising.

He's looking good.

Oy. Oy.

- He said... - We got it.

Ukrainian? I'm blown away.

Who speaks Ukrainian?

Roman is short for Romanoff.

I went to summer camp every year in Vovchok.

- (Laughs) - Guys, can we not?

For your, you know.

Ah.

Is that a specimen kit?

My online dating profile attracted a top-rated semen scout.

My semen is highly prized.

So now you need to...

Yes, for testing.

As a medical professional, I could assist with...

No. Stop.

Seriously? You're turning me down?

(Sighs)

Is that all you got, ever?

I was only... I can't... you're pissed.

I'm almost 40.

I don't have anything to show for it.

This is my shot.

My prediction for tonight...

a Circle Line cruise.

Surprises are the best.

I will share that with Mrs. Gabor.

Gloria: People.

People.

People, gather, please.

I want you to understand that I simply cannot fix everything here.

She called a meeting to tell us that?

A new P.A. system, for instance,

bids out at 20 grand.

Which is exactly what I can get for the Mustang I just won.

Wait a minute. You're donating your penis car?

No!

That's your '65.

What else would you propose?

- (Electricity crackles) - Ow, shit!

Fuck!

Go ahead and give it a shot.

- (P.A. beeps) - Attention.

- People in the ER. - Hell, yes!

It's working.

Ladies and germs, Dr. Fixit himself.

- (Cheering) - (Phone ringing)

(Imitating Akalitus) Ahem, uh, people.

People.

This is the fourth floor.

They can hear everything you say.

Damn it.

You know what? I got it. Hold on.

One second. One second.

I think I may have looked at

kitchen counters around here somewhere.

Yeah?

Okay, we're here.

You ready?

(Crowd chatting)

(Music playing)

Good to see you.

Hey, pal.

Who are you?

I'm your partner, ma'am.

I have never done this before.

That's why I'm here.

- (Laughs) - Oh.

You're gonna be fine. Just stay with me, all right?

Caller: All right, mix it up, y'all.

Now head couples go forward and back.

Side couples, forward and back.

Now swing your partner and she'll swing you.

Now promenade and go two by two.

Come on. That's good.

That's good. Come on.

All right, make the circle, y'all.

Into the middle with a great big shout.

(Shouts)

(Music playing)

All right, y'all, let's kick it up a notch. Listen up.

It's a right to corner, allemande.

Left to your partner, allemande.

Right to the next. It's a right and left grand.

Now left to your partner, allemande.

Back where you came from, right and left grand.

Pass your partner by and left to the next courtesy turn.

Now head couples go forward and back.

Now forward again and you do-si-do.

Now circle up four. Circle up four.

Circle up four and leave a little door.

Now couples separate. Make lines of four.

Go forward and back.

Now, gents, you allemande.

Go once and a halfway more

to the other side of the floor.

Long lines forward and back.

Into the middle and then back on now.

And you do it again.

And you pass through.

Now, circle of four in the middle of the floor.

Now you swing mine and I'll swing yours.

I'll kick yours and swing some more.

Now you bow to your partners.

Corners all bow to the hall 'cause that's all.

- (Music stops) - (Applause)

(Laughs) You were great.

- I did what I could. - You did great.

- Did you have fun? - That was fun, yeah.

I'm gonna get something to drink. What can I get you?

I'm good, thanks. I'm gonna use the bathroom.

- All right, I'll meet you back here. - Okay.

I don't know what you guys do nowadays.

If there's a handshake or secret code or something.

You pretty much cracked it.

- That was it? Okay. - Yeah.

(Soft music playing)

Do you like it?

I wanted scarves on the lamps,

but I made do with baby sheets from peds.

(Chuckles)

My baby pictures.

- Inspiration for you. - Oh.

Isn't it a little weird, me looking at me while I...

You were a beautiful baby.

Now...

make a beautiful one.

(Moaning)

- Ooh. - Woman: Aw, yeah, take it.

Woman: So good.

Yeah.

(Moaning continues)

(Sighs)

(Music playing)

(Snorting)

This is way more fun with somebody else.

(Snorting)

My girlfriend hates this shit.

(Sighs) My boyfriend's a cop.

(Both laugh)

No, he really is.

(Laughing)

Caller: Put a smile on her mouth.

All join hands and circle south.

Now you bow to your partner, corner salute.

Now you circle around, go lickety-scoot.

(Breathing heavily)

Chase that rabbit, chase that squirrel.

Take that lady around the world.

Frank: Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough.

Now promenade with heel and toe.

Listen to a cop from New York City.

Men to the center for a right-hand star.

Now swing your partner and don't go far.

Men to the center for a left-hand star.

Now pick up your partner right where they are.

Circle once around.

(Laughs)

Now circle out and come back home.

Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0