Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,794
He's here.
2
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,972
Wonderful. I've been counting
the minutes, Marilyn.
3
00:00:05,003 --> 00:00:08,131
Who's here?
Morning, Joel.
4
00:00:08,083 --> 00:00:10,460
Holling.
Hey, you look terrible.
5
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,695
Have a seat. Let's take
a peek under the hood.
6
00:00:13,602 --> 00:00:15,145
What's this?
7
00:00:16,442 --> 00:00:18,903
- Ooh, I.R.S.
- Read it.
8
00:00:18,881 --> 00:00:22,093
"It has come to our attention
our investigators have determined...
9
00:00:22,041 --> 00:00:26,295
- ...you owe the government $9,000."
- Keep goin'.
10
00:00:26,201 --> 00:00:29,287
Holling, it says here you haven't
paid your taxes since 1959.
11
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,617
- Correct.
- 1959?
12
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,518
Statehood. I voted against it.
13
00:00:33,519 --> 00:00:36,522
And what? You've been withholding
taxes as a form of political protest?
14
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:40,775
Well, not exactly. I figured they'd
let me know if they really needed it.
15
00:00:40,678 --> 00:00:42,638
You never filed a tax return?
16
00:00:42,678 --> 00:00:43,720
No.
17
00:00:44,357 --> 00:00:46,568
I mean, I've been delinquent
once or twice myself,
18
00:00:46,557 --> 00:00:49,435
but, um, I don't think
you can get a 32-year extension.
19
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,774
Well, I figured something
more like a note.
20
00:00:51,756 --> 00:00:53,633
- A note?
- From you.
21
00:00:53,596 --> 00:00:56,724
- You mean like a medical excuse?
- There you go.
22
00:00:56,675 --> 00:00:59,053
You want me to write
to the Internal Revenue Service,
23
00:00:59,035 --> 00:01:01,496
saying you can't pay your taxes
because you aren't feeling well?
24
00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:05,646
Well, don't get me wrong. I mean, I
fully intend to pay it, but not right now.
25
00:01:05,555 --> 00:01:08,391
It'll take me a little while
to get up that kind of cash.
26
00:01:10,354 --> 00:01:12,314
What do you say?
27
00:01:57,388 --> 00:01:59,431
Good morning, Cicely. It's 7:02.
28
00:01:59,427 --> 00:02:01,929
A soggy 34 degrees outside.
29
00:02:01,907 --> 00:02:03,825
It's time to reach
into the K-Bear mailbag.
30
00:02:03,827 --> 00:02:06,287
Dave from Mosquito Lake writes:
"Dear Chris in the Morning,
31
00:02:06,266 --> 00:02:09,311
I loved your series on Islam.
How about a transcript?"
32
00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:12,685
Well, sorry, Dave. There isn't one.
I work without a net, you know.
33
00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:14,877
I'm glad you liked the series.
34
00:02:14,864 --> 00:02:18,993
On a personal note, my brother Bernard
drops a note from the Dark Continent:
35
00:02:18,904 --> 00:02:22,824
"Dear Chris, Africa is all
I dreamed it would be.
36
00:02:22,704 --> 00:02:26,708
I trekked up the Usambara Range"-
that's in Tanzania, folks-
37
00:02:26,623 --> 00:02:30,961
"where I watched the sunrise and felt the
blood of my ancestors pulse through my veins.
38
00:02:30,862 --> 00:02:33,782
Best to all. Kwaheri, Bernard. "
39
00:02:36,182 --> 00:02:39,435
Well, that's something, huh?
Bernard's out there in the motherland,
40
00:02:39,461 --> 00:02:44,591
hugging the curves down life's highways,
and yours truly creeps along here...
41
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,631
at his petty pace, day to day,
42
00:02:46,621 --> 00:02:48,956
full of sound and fury,
43
00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:52,610
lots of unnecessary commercial messages.
44
00:02:53,979 --> 00:02:57,482
Truth is, folks, I've been dragging
my psychic feet lately,
45
00:02:57,419 --> 00:03:02,215
and it's probably nothing more than your
usual biorhythmic peaks and valleys,
46
00:03:02,058 --> 00:03:07,689
but there's no getting around the fact
that we all need a pump, you know?
47
00:03:07,617 --> 00:03:10,662
Something to make us jump up
out of bed in the morning...
48
00:03:10,617 --> 00:03:13,953
and greet the dawn
with a big old cosmic "Howdy. "
49
00:03:17,576 --> 00:03:19,703
- Morning, Dr. Fleischman.
- Hey, wait, wait. Hold it right there.
50
00:03:19,695 --> 00:03:21,656
- What is that?
- This is eggs Florentine,
51
00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:25,075
and this is a seven-grain waffle
with gooseberry syrup.
52
00:03:31,053 --> 00:03:34,515
- Hey, Dr. Fleischman.
- Don't talk with your mouth full, Ed.
53
00:03:34,453 --> 00:03:37,873
That appears to be cheese blintzes
with blueberry sauce?
54
00:03:37,813 --> 00:03:39,732
- He's back?
- Mm-hmm.
55
00:03:43,492 --> 00:03:46,119
No, no, no. You can't drown it!
56
00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,344
It's gotta float.
It's gotta- It's gotta breathe.
57
00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:52,086
Look, you're not ready for crepes, Dave.
Just go boil some water or something.
58
00:03:51,971 --> 00:03:55,975
Hey, Adam.
- Please. Okay. That's it. I'm outta here.
59
00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:58,393
- Wait. Wait. What did I say?
- What did you say?
60
00:03:58,370 --> 00:04:00,456
- Yeah. I came in to-
- To what?
61
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:03,285
To idly interrupt?
To annoy beyond reason?
62
00:04:03,249 --> 00:04:05,459
- No. I thought that may-
- What?
63
00:04:05,409 --> 00:04:09,538
I- I suppose you let uninvited guests barge
into your operating room all the time, huh?
64
00:04:09,408 --> 00:04:11,618
Mushrooms. I love shiitakes.
65
00:04:11,608 --> 00:04:13,526
Those are chanterelles,
you moron. Hey!
66
00:04:13,528 --> 00:04:16,531
- Do you want to die?
- Okay. Okay.
67
00:04:16,487 --> 00:04:19,156
So what brings you back to Cicely?
68
00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:22,069
You're right. Let's try an
easier one. Um, how's Eve?
69
00:04:22,047 --> 00:04:24,382
- She's sick.
- Oh, what a surprise.
70
00:04:24,366 --> 00:04:28,286
Hey, just watch it, okay?
- She doesn't want to see me, does she?
71
00:04:28,206 --> 00:04:30,917
Why? Do you have a problem
with that, Doctor?
72
00:04:30,925 --> 00:04:32,510
Dave. Dave.
73
00:04:38,804 --> 00:04:40,473
Presentation.
74
00:04:42,444 --> 00:04:44,154
Hopeless.
75
00:04:44,523 --> 00:04:47,776
No. Eve's sciatic nerve
was acting up again.
76
00:04:47,683 --> 00:04:51,853
Then before you could say "Boo," she
comes down with a case of thyroiditis.
77
00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:54,133
She try a vitamin "B" supplement?
78
00:04:54,082 --> 00:04:57,335
What a brilliant idea.
Yeah, of course we did.
79
00:04:57,241 --> 00:05:00,327
With amazing results.
Nothing happened.
80
00:05:00,241 --> 00:05:03,161
So now she's
at Dr. Chang's clinic.
81
00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:07,946
Dr. Chang? Dr. M. Chang?
82
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,714
Well, I'm glad to see you keep up
with the literature, Fleischman.
83
00:05:11,759 --> 00:05:14,679
I mean, he's only the seminal force
in the field of acupuncture.
84
00:05:14,718 --> 00:05:18,389
And spare me the A.M.A. Party line,
okay? I know all about it.
85
00:05:18,399 --> 00:05:20,442
If it isn't in the New England
Journal of Medicine,
86
00:05:20,398 --> 00:05:22,191
it never happened for you guys, right?
87
00:05:22,158 --> 00:05:24,244
I was just gonna ask
where he practices.
88
00:05:24,237 --> 00:05:27,240
- Hunan, if you must know.
- Hunan as in China?
89
00:05:27,197 --> 00:05:31,577
- No, Hunan as in North Dakota.
- So Eve is in China?
90
00:05:31,476 --> 00:05:35,856
What, am I talking to myself?
Yes, Eve is in China.
91
00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:38,676
I wish I was there with her.
I could be translating cookbooks...
92
00:05:38,635 --> 00:05:41,638
instead of being interrogated
by some gastronomic pygmy.
93
00:05:41,595 --> 00:05:45,015
- You read Chinese?
- Cantonese like a native.
94
00:05:44,955 --> 00:05:48,041
- Mandarin still gives me a fit.
- Come on.
95
00:05:51,913 --> 00:05:55,166
- What does that mean?
- Loosely translated, it means,
96
00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:58,992
um, "Quick and painless
or slow and lingering?"
97
00:06:02,632 --> 00:06:07,470
Hey! You! Hold it! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
98
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,341
Me? Yeah. What have you
got in your hand there?
99
00:06:10,271 --> 00:06:12,941
Newspaper.
That's not just a newspaper.
100
00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:16,207
That's my newspaper.
The Cicely News & World Telegram.
101
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,403
I'm sorry.
102
00:06:17,389 --> 00:06:20,100
Where I come from, people
respect their local newspapers.
103
00:06:20,149 --> 00:06:23,528
They read 'em. They clip stories.
They discuss 'em.
104
00:06:23,469 --> 00:06:27,765
They do not use 'em to clean up after
their pets. Do I make myself clear?
105
00:06:27,668 --> 00:06:30,922
- Yeah, but-
- You want clean sidewalks?
106
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:32,453
Here.
107
00:06:37,547 --> 00:06:39,966
Dr. Fleischman gonna
write you that note, hon?
108
00:06:39,947 --> 00:06:43,534
Says it's creaky.
I suppose he's right.
109
00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:45,547
Don't worry.
We'll come up with the money.
110
00:06:45,546 --> 00:06:46,964
How?
111
00:06:48,105 --> 00:06:50,775
I don't know. I was just
sayin' it to be nice.
112
00:06:50,745 --> 00:06:54,582
Just hate seeing you drag
that cute nose on the floor, babe.
113
00:06:54,505 --> 00:06:57,591
Anyway, what's the worst
thing that can happen?
114
00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:03,051
Well, they could seize the bar,
sell the property, put me in jail.
115
00:07:05,502 --> 00:07:06,754
- Huh.
- Oh, really?
116
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:18,631
All right, listen up.
All of you. Hey!
117
00:07:18,501 --> 00:07:20,336
Yeah, you.
118
00:07:20,341 --> 00:07:23,720
Something's been festering under the skin
of this town like an angry boil,
119
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:25,664
and I think it's time
we gave it a scratch.
120
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:28,163
- How about a clue, Maurice?
- Case in point.
121
00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:32,730
Ruth-Anne, what is that
you're reading, dear?
122
00:07:32,859 --> 00:07:35,028
The Christian Science Monitor.
123
00:07:35,099 --> 00:07:39,103
Uh-huh. Well, you know
we have a paper in this town.
124
00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:43,278
But rather than support
our local news organ,
125
00:07:43,418 --> 00:07:48,256
some people would prefer to use it
as a sponge to mop up spilled decaf.
126
00:07:48,097 --> 00:07:49,765
We've got a problem here, people.
127
00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:53,324
The problem, Maurice, is that
your paper is a major snooze.
128
00:07:53,256 --> 00:07:55,592
You think the New York Times
is a joyride?
129
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:59,454
You think people read the New York Times
because they like to?
130
00:07:59,375 --> 00:08:03,296
No, no. People read the New York Times
because they feel like they ought to.
131
00:08:03,214 --> 00:08:05,634
- Isn't that right, Fleischman?
- Oh, phooey.
132
00:08:05,614 --> 00:08:08,492
There's nothing to write about
around here, and you know it.
133
00:08:08,414 --> 00:08:13,252
Oh, you think things are too uneventful here
in the borough of Arrowhead County, huh?
134
00:08:13,133 --> 00:08:14,593
Well, yes, I do.
135
00:08:14,613 --> 00:08:17,449
Well, let me tell you about a little item
in the New York Times today.
136
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:21,043
It's about the Village Sentinel
in Duxbury, Vermont,
137
00:08:21,092 --> 00:08:24,679
a thriving metropolis of 900 souls.
138
00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:29,436
They have been nominated
for a Pulitzer prize. Why?
139
00:08:31,131 --> 00:08:32,674
Ticks.
140
00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:37,954
My paper has ticks.
My paper has bugs of all kinds.
141
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,895
Show of hands.
How many of you read the article...
142
00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:44,271
on mosquito abatement program
in Loon Lake?
143
00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:48,845
See? That's just my point.
144
00:08:49,847 --> 00:08:54,644
A great newspaper
needs a great reading public.
145
00:08:57,767 --> 00:09:00,519
We've all got to pull
our own weight here, people.
146
00:09:03,086 --> 00:09:05,255
End of story.
147
00:09:08,326 --> 00:09:11,287
Hey there, Chris.
Hey, Holling. Come on in.
148
00:09:12,884 --> 00:09:14,678
Another postcard from Bernard?
149
00:09:14,644 --> 00:09:18,648
Yeah. He's in Sierra Leone now.
Northwest coast, below Guinea.
150
00:09:18,564 --> 00:09:22,484
- That's an adventure.
- Got a rash. Nothing serious.
151
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,890
Uh, maybe this is not a good time.
152
00:09:25,883 --> 00:09:28,677
No, no, no. I'm sorry, Holling.
What's up, buddy?
153
00:09:28,642 --> 00:09:33,063
Well, not too much.
I owe Uncle Sam, uh, $9,000.
154
00:09:32,962 --> 00:09:35,006
Ooh. Back taxes?
155
00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:37,587
I have never asked anyone
for cash before, Chris,
156
00:09:37,521 --> 00:09:39,648
but, uh, those government
boys can be rough.
157
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,726
- How much you need?
- Well, it's no secret.
158
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,387
With your inheritance, you're the only fella
around who's liquid, other than Maurice.
159
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,781
Now, there was a time
when I could've asked him-
160
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,054
No, no, no. Full amount,
five percent interest, Holling.
161
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,961
No. Hold on a minute.
I'm not talking about a loan.
162
00:09:52,918 --> 00:09:55,880
- You're not?
- No. I don't believe in debt.
163
00:09:55,838 --> 00:09:58,174
What a man can't pay for, he can't own.
164
00:09:58,118 --> 00:10:00,788
No, this is a business investment.
165
00:10:00,717 --> 00:10:04,012
One-half interest in The Brick
for $9,000.
166
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,086
Me? Own half of your bar?
167
00:10:06,076 --> 00:10:09,788
Well, it's a good offer. I had the barstools
upholstered last year only and-
168
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:13,180
Whoa, Holling. You and me,
partners in The Brick?
169
00:10:13,076 --> 00:10:15,912
- Is that what you're saying?
- Well, yeah.
170
00:10:15,835 --> 00:10:19,881
Oh, man. Holling, this was meant to be.
This was meant to happen.
171
00:10:19,795 --> 00:10:22,298
Holling, ever since I inherited
that money,
172
00:10:22,274 --> 00:10:25,861
my karma has been all dressed up
with nowhere to go, man.
173
00:10:25,794 --> 00:10:28,630
I love bars. You know that.
Holling, I dream about bars.
174
00:10:28,593 --> 00:10:32,305
Best talk I ever had with my dad- in a bar,
man. I patched him up after a fight.
175
00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:34,777
Holling, I know the layout
of every bar I ever been in.
176
00:10:34,752 --> 00:10:37,839
I know the bartender's name.
I know what they charge me for a drink.
177
00:10:37,792 --> 00:10:40,920
I was made for this, Holling.
I was made to own a bar.
178
00:10:40,872 --> 00:10:43,082
I- I take it you're interested.
179
00:10:44,391 --> 00:10:45,851
Yeah.
180
00:10:47,311 --> 00:10:50,314
And we're comin' on down.
181
00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:52,355
All right, who's next, huh? Joel?
182
00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:55,520
- No, none for me, Chris.
- Come on now. Maggie? Ruth-Anne?
183
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:57,305
- On the house.
- Why not?
184
00:10:57,310 --> 00:11:00,605
- Hey, that okay with you, huh?
- It's your bar, partner.
185
00:11:00,509 --> 00:11:05,473
Hey, this is interesting. We're 14% ahead
of last year's precipitation count.
186
00:11:05,308 --> 00:11:06,810
Whoo, doggy!
187
00:11:07,428 --> 00:11:09,722
Uh, here's a little something
I'm trying with, uh, polenta.
188
00:11:12,707 --> 00:11:14,167
- Fabulous.
- Fabulous.
189
00:11:14,187 --> 00:11:17,607
Delicious. What is this?
This is, um, cilantro?
190
00:11:17,506 --> 00:11:20,551
Why? You want to try this at home?
191
00:11:21,226 --> 00:11:23,812
I devote my life
to creating culinary masterpieces.
192
00:11:23,786 --> 00:11:25,788
You think I'd reduce that
to a shopping list?
193
00:11:25,905 --> 00:11:27,073
I- I just-
194
00:11:27,065 --> 00:11:30,068
I suppose every passenger
thinks they can fly your plane, huh?
195
00:11:30,025 --> 00:11:33,779
"What's that, hot lips,
a little left rudder? Slide over. "
196
00:11:33,704 --> 00:11:36,165
But any jerk with a hot plate
can cook, right?
197
00:11:36,143 --> 00:11:38,854
A little cilantro, you're a chef.
198
00:11:38,783 --> 00:11:40,577
What's this, Ed?
199
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:43,836
Well, I thought about
what you said, Maurice.
200
00:11:43,783 --> 00:11:46,702
- About initiative. And this is my new column.
- "Ed Goes to the Movies"?
201
00:11:46,663 --> 00:11:50,750
Yeah. Four bear claws
means instant classic,
202
00:11:50,662 --> 00:11:53,581
and one bear claw
means stay home and read.
203
00:11:53,621 --> 00:11:55,790
I think it's time
people knew the truth.
204
00:11:56,181 --> 00:11:57,516
Shelly!
Oh, Shelly!
205
00:11:57,901 --> 00:12:00,111
- Mmm. What are these?
- I don't know what you call 'em,
206
00:12:00,101 --> 00:12:02,061
but I've been scarfing 'em down
like beer nuts.
207
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:06,827
- Oh, my God!
- God, Adam, this is amazing!
208
00:12:06,779 --> 00:12:08,572
Mmm. What are these? These, um-
209
00:12:08,539 --> 00:12:11,709
- Diego's maize azul supreme.
- Diego?
210
00:12:11,779 --> 00:12:15,073
A friend.
Had a way with blue corn flour.
211
00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:17,515
Yeah, he would've been
one of the greats if only...
212
00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:18,918
If only what?
213
00:12:18,937 --> 00:12:23,233
Ah, if only he hadn't been blown to bits
along with his Deux Chevaux outside of Lima.
214
00:12:23,298 --> 00:12:26,009
Faulty detonator. Yeah.
215
00:12:26,137 --> 00:12:31,058
Give that guy a few charcoal briquettes,
some hickory chips and a goat,
216
00:12:31,056 --> 00:12:32,891
he'd work miracles.
217
00:12:32,935 --> 00:12:36,981
Ah, too bad. Nice kid.
Should've been me.
218
00:12:36,975 --> 00:12:39,644
- Wow.
- Lima, Peru?
219
00:12:39,575 --> 00:12:41,285
Well, the outskirts
of the city, actually.
220
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,881
- What were you doing in Peru?
- You think I'm gonna tell you, lady?
221
00:12:44,814 --> 00:12:47,358
Hey, folks, come on.
I mean, his food is great.
222
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,086
It's better than great.
But this is Adam we're talking about.
223
00:12:50,053 --> 00:12:53,932
The man is a walking pathology.
He cannot tell the time without lying.
224
00:12:53,813 --> 00:12:56,566
I mean, one can only guess
at the unique circumstances...
225
00:12:56,492 --> 00:13:00,455
that rendered him incapable of distinguishing
Rocky and Bullwinkle from the evening news.
226
00:13:00,372 --> 00:13:03,208
Don't you think
you're being a little harsh, Joel?
227
00:13:03,172 --> 00:13:06,717
Oh, no, no.
Please, please continue.
228
00:13:06,651 --> 00:13:11,114
I'm sure everyone here is fascinated
to hear more pop psychology...
229
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:14,223
from number 54
in his class at Columbia Med.
230
00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:17,556
- Fifty-fourth?
- Well, out of 140.
231
00:13:17,489 --> 00:13:20,868
It happened to be a very tough school,
O'Connell. How did you know that?
232
00:13:22,249 --> 00:13:26,002
- What are you starin' at?
- Good rumaki.
233
00:13:29,807 --> 00:13:32,101
How did he know that?
234
00:13:32,087 --> 00:13:35,799
Whoo! What a night!
What an unbelievable night! Whoo!
235
00:13:35,726 --> 00:13:38,896
Yes, I don't ever recall having
given away quite that much free beer.
236
00:13:38,847 --> 00:13:43,101
Oh, man, this is fantastic.
I feel like Bogie in Casablanca.
237
00:13:43,005 --> 00:13:46,759
This free food and drink, Chris-
This is strictly a one-shot deal, right?
238
00:13:46,685 --> 00:13:48,771
Oh, right, right. Absolutely.
239
00:13:48,765 --> 00:13:51,726
You know, I got a few ideas, though,
I want to fly by you, Holling.
240
00:13:51,684 --> 00:13:53,686
- Ideas?
- Yeah, just some little things.
241
00:13:53,724 --> 00:13:56,644
You know, changes. The place
has been getting kinda stale lately.
242
00:13:56,604 --> 00:13:59,106
- It has?
- Yeah, but we can talk about that later.
243
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:02,378
- How about breakfast tomorrow morning?
- Whatever you say.
244
00:14:02,323 --> 00:14:04,909
- Partner.
- Partner.
245
00:14:07,162 --> 00:14:09,373
- Good night, Dave.
- Good night.
246
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,853
Hey, Adam. I think
we should have a talk.
247
00:14:24,119 --> 00:14:26,997
I loathe talks.
If you wanna talk, call Oprah.
248
00:14:26,919 --> 00:14:29,296
I could use a man of your ability.
Get lost.
249
00:14:29,479 --> 00:14:31,189
You haven't heard me out.
250
00:14:31,199 --> 00:14:33,659
Twenty seconds,
then I'm outta here.
251
00:14:33,638 --> 00:14:36,975
You've got a gift. I've got a paper.
I'm willing to pay.
252
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:39,921
- Not interested.
- Oh, come on, son.
253
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:42,590
- Everybody's interested in money.
- Fifteen seconds.
254
00:14:42,557 --> 00:14:46,728
All right. I need a special correspondent
to, uh, stir things up.
255
00:14:46,596 --> 00:14:50,225
I'll give you front page,
your own byline, the works.
256
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,325
My own byline?
257
00:14:52,316 --> 00:14:56,028
I'll throw in your picture too. We'll
have to do something about that hair.
258
00:14:55,955 --> 00:14:58,249
- Are you insane?
- What?
259
00:14:58,234 --> 00:15:00,904
You want people to know
where I am?
260
00:15:00,835 --> 00:15:03,712
Why don't you just paint
crosshairs on my back?
261
00:15:03,674 --> 00:15:05,426
Then forget the byline.
262
00:15:05,434 --> 00:15:07,770
Why should I write for your
pissant paper, Minnifield?
263
00:15:07,713 --> 00:15:10,174
I'm giving you
carte blanche here, Adam.
264
00:15:10,113 --> 00:15:13,158
You've got the opportunity
to write anything you want.
265
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,449
- Within reason.
- Time's up.
266
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,686
Plausibility!
That's a better word for it.
267
00:15:17,672 --> 00:15:21,134
Look, blow the lid off this borough.
268
00:15:21,072 --> 00:15:23,116
Be my Deep Throat.
269
00:15:23,111 --> 00:15:26,031
- Deep Throat?
- Yeah, whatever.
270
00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:30,746
That guy always did piss me off.
271
00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:37,041
All right, I'm in.
But get out your checkbook, Minnifield.
272
00:15:36,949 --> 00:15:39,744
- This is gonna cost.
- I'm listening.
273
00:15:41,028 --> 00:15:44,282
- I'm gonna need cashews.
- That's no problem.
274
00:15:44,188 --> 00:15:46,899
- And a dozen pencils.
- Number twos?
275
00:15:46,868 --> 00:15:49,537
Eberhard Faber. Blackwings.
276
00:16:16,784 --> 00:16:19,036
Yes, who would have thought
our sleepy little hamlet...
277
00:16:19,023 --> 00:16:22,193
borders the most unusual
botanical find of the century?
278
00:16:22,103 --> 00:16:23,771
"But don't take my word for it.
279
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:27,244
"Pick up your own copy of the
Cicely News & World Telegram today...
280
00:16:27,182 --> 00:16:31,770
"and read about bizarre but true discoveries
in a forest primeval that time forgot.
281
00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:34,747
"It's all in the
Cicely News & World Telegram,
282
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:37,787
the pride and pulse
of the borough of Arrowhead County. "
283
00:16:37,741 --> 00:16:40,702
And to swap stories
about our loquacious lodgepoles,
284
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:43,288
why not stop in
at Cicely's favorite watering hole,
285
00:16:43,259 --> 00:16:45,345
The Brick, home
of the new ptarmigan pizza.
286
00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:47,842
You know, you can enjoy
your state bird with mozzarella,
287
00:16:47,819 --> 00:16:50,572
fresh basil and tomato,
all on a corn flour crust.
288
00:16:50,538 --> 00:16:52,999
Don't forget tonight's
T.S. Eliot night at The Brick.
289
00:16:52,938 --> 00:16:55,566
Your truly, Chris Stevens,
is gonna be manning the pumps.
290
00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:57,584
Free nickel beers
for the first 50 customers...
291
00:16:57,578 --> 00:17:01,540
who can recite the opening lines of
"The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock."
292
00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:03,753
- No crib sheets now.
- Good morning, Ed.
293
00:17:03,696 --> 00:17:06,157
You look a little peaked.
You didn't get any sleep?
294
00:17:06,137 --> 00:17:09,682
Been delivering papers all night, huh?
Go home and get some chow, stand by.
295
00:17:09,576 --> 00:17:11,786
We got a bulldog edition
coming out tomorrow.
296
00:17:11,775 --> 00:17:13,694
Sure thing, Maurice.
297
00:17:15,775 --> 00:17:18,069
Hey, hey, Maurice.
298
00:17:19,774 --> 00:17:21,985
Maurice, this is fantastic.
299
00:17:21,934 --> 00:17:25,188
- You don't say.
- No, what I mean is it's ridiculous.
300
00:17:25,134 --> 00:17:28,179
I know you're desperate
for readers, but talking trees?
301
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:31,092
Fleischman, read the story.
302
00:17:31,252 --> 00:17:35,340
They don't speak in complete sentences.
They make vowel sounds like...
303
00:17:40,771 --> 00:17:43,774
and can only be detected
with scientific instruments.
304
00:17:43,891 --> 00:17:48,437
Well, what's this? I mean, I've heard of
unnamed sources, but an unnamed reporter?
305
00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:50,584
Just say it's my contribution
to the field.
306
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:52,657
I've read fairy tales
with better documentation.
307
00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:54,445
No one's gonna buy it, Maurice.
308
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,991
Hello?
309
00:18:23,525 --> 00:18:27,362
I'm telling you, Fleischman.
I could swear I heard the tree talk.
310
00:18:27,245 --> 00:18:29,914
Oh, not you too, O'Connell.
What?
311
00:18:29,964 --> 00:18:31,591
Maurice prints a story on talking trees.
312
00:18:31,564 --> 00:18:34,024
Suddenly everyone in the woods
is on a first-name basis.
313
00:18:34,004 --> 00:18:36,381
- I'm not making this up.
- No, it's not conscious.
314
00:18:36,364 --> 00:18:39,492
- It's called power of suggestion.
- Don't patronize me, Fleischman.
315
00:18:39,443 --> 00:18:43,364
And besides, wh-what's to think
that Maurice's story couldn't be true?
316
00:18:43,282 --> 00:18:47,036
What, that certain pine trees around here
are having animated conversations?
317
00:18:46,962 --> 00:18:50,549
Sure. In fact, I was just discussing
that very point with the tooth fairy.
318
00:18:50,482 --> 00:18:53,067
Fleischman, plants
are living organisms, right?
319
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:55,627
You put electrodes on 'em,
they respond to stimuli.
320
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,687
Look, I can put electrodes on a frog leg
and make it dance around a table.
321
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:02,060
It doesn't mean it wants an audition.
It's called an electrochemical reaction.
322
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,877
- Well, what about sunflowers, huh?
- Sunflowers?
323
00:19:04,799 --> 00:19:07,385
Yeah. Why do they turn
towards the sun?
324
00:19:07,358 --> 00:19:09,569
That's what plants do.
It's called heliotropism.
325
00:19:09,558 --> 00:19:12,812
- But why do they do it?
- Because they need the sunlight.
326
00:19:13,598 --> 00:19:15,440
Aha.
Aha, what?
327
00:19:15,398 --> 00:19:17,734
They need, Fleischman, just like we need.
328
00:19:17,677 --> 00:19:21,556
- And they act to satisfy those needs.
- I don't believe this.
329
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:25,203
O'Connell, you are so much more
academically impaired than I had imagined.
330
00:19:25,157 --> 00:19:27,784
Oh, really? Well, who tells
a plant that it needs the sun?
331
00:19:27,756 --> 00:19:30,175
- How does it bend towards the light?
- Who cares?
332
00:19:30,155 --> 00:19:34,535
Plant cells communicate, Fleischman.
They do. They communicate.
333
00:19:34,395 --> 00:19:36,606
You know, if you knew
anything about horticulture,
334
00:19:36,594 --> 00:19:39,055
if you had empathy
for any living thing at all,
335
00:19:39,034 --> 00:19:42,830
you would know that every plant
is a minor miracle of interdependence-
336
00:19:42,753 --> 00:19:47,383
that they're a self-regulating network
that-that manufactures and transfers food,
337
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:50,652
collects and conducts water-
does basically everything that we do,
338
00:19:50,552 --> 00:19:53,389
only more efficiently and
without screwing up the environment.
339
00:19:53,352 --> 00:19:55,813
- And how, Fleischman?
- How?
340
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:58,920
They talk. They communicate. That's how.
341
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,917
Every successful gardener
talks to his plants, Joel.
342
00:20:01,871 --> 00:20:04,081
What's a green thumb,
after all, except an ability...
343
00:20:04,071 --> 00:20:08,158
to communicate positively
with our friends in the plant kingdom?
344
00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,699
- What's your point, O'Connell?
- My point, Fleischman,
345
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:14,509
is that there is more between heaven and
earth than your philosophy ever dreamed of.
346
00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:17,221
It's true that plants are actually
out there talking all the time.
347
00:20:17,389 --> 00:20:21,560
We're just not smart enough or sensitive
enough or whatever enough to understand them.
348
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,514
Hey, how about some ptarmigan pizza
on the house?
349
00:20:23,468 --> 00:20:24,636
You are delirious.
350
00:20:24,628 --> 00:20:26,880
Well, it's a scientific fact
that women's ears are more sensitive.
351
00:20:26,907 --> 00:20:28,659
You're just jealous that
I can hear it and you can't.
352
00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:30,586
My ears are every bit as good as your ears.
I have great ears.
353
00:20:30,586 --> 00:20:33,006
If there was a tree out there talking,
believe me, I would hear it.
354
00:20:32,946 --> 00:20:34,948
Richard, how are you guys doing?
Everything all right?
355
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:35,908
Fine.
356
00:20:35,946 --> 00:20:39,825
Excuse me. Mike, do me a favor.
Use a coaster. Okay, buddy? Thanks.
357
00:20:44,905 --> 00:20:46,907
Eddie?
358
00:20:46,904 --> 00:20:49,490
What, man? You write
on the walls at home?
359
00:20:49,464 --> 00:20:51,216
Yeah.
360
00:20:51,184 --> 00:20:54,563
Well, this isn't your home, all right?
A little consideration.
361
00:20:58,503 --> 00:21:00,839
Joint's jumping, huh, partner?
362
00:21:00,782 --> 00:21:02,826
- Yep.
- Good eats, Adam.
363
00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:04,659
What would you know?
364
00:21:07,382 --> 00:21:09,301
Dave.
365
00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:13,838
Grill, Dave. Not cremate.
366
00:21:13,741 --> 00:21:15,242
Grill.
367
00:21:17,461 --> 00:21:19,337
Adam.
368
00:21:21,660 --> 00:21:24,037
What do you want?
369
00:21:23,979 --> 00:21:26,023
We need to talk.
370
00:21:27,939 --> 00:21:29,691
Do we really have to hide
in the freezer?
371
00:21:29,698 --> 00:21:33,285
No! And I don't have to talk
to you either, Minnifield.
372
00:21:33,218 --> 00:21:37,180
- We sold out four editions today.
- Yeah. So? Now what do you want?
373
00:21:37,097 --> 00:21:40,809
More. I'm gettin' calls from Homer,
from Sitka, from Sleetmute.
374
00:21:40,817 --> 00:21:44,905
You want more?
Right now? Tonight?
375
00:21:44,776 --> 00:21:48,113
Yeah. Do you realize
the risk that I'm taking?
376
00:21:48,215 --> 00:21:53,429
Not to mention the stress that I feel
as my loved one lies half a world away...
377
00:21:53,255 --> 00:21:57,551
being subjected to the pins and needles
of some Oriental lunatic.
378
00:21:57,414 --> 00:22:01,043
- We'll fly Eve here.
- Yeah, right.
379
00:22:00,933 --> 00:22:03,019
If only it were that simple.
380
00:22:02,974 --> 00:22:05,059
Beat it! We're busy here.
381
00:22:06,333 --> 00:22:07,668
Okay.
382
00:22:08,733 --> 00:22:10,651
Take this down.
383
00:22:12,853 --> 00:22:15,605
You're gonna put
my voice on tape?
384
00:22:15,572 --> 00:22:18,950
I'll destroy the tape as soon as
I'm done with it. I'll burn it.
385
00:22:18,892 --> 00:22:22,312
If you don't,
I'll have to kill you.
386
00:22:24,570 --> 00:22:27,531
Hold it. Hold it.
Batteries are freezing up.
387
00:22:29,690 --> 00:22:32,109
Okay. Good. Go.
388
00:22:32,089 --> 00:22:34,717
Dateline: Cicely.
389
00:22:34,649 --> 00:22:38,861
As teams of government
scientists scour the tundra,
390
00:22:38,968 --> 00:22:43,681
a deepening cover-up
is spreading its dark cloud...
391
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:47,490
over the borough of Arrowhead County.
392
00:22:48,247 --> 00:22:50,333
You with me so far?
393
00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:57,044
Ed.
Oh, hi, Maurice.
394
00:22:57,006 --> 00:23:00,217
Come on in.
What do you take in your coffee?
395
00:23:01,285 --> 00:23:04,038
Lots of cream and lots of sugar.
396
00:23:05,124 --> 00:23:08,544
- You're a wreck, son.
- I didn't get any sleep.
397
00:23:08,484 --> 00:23:11,028
No? Why not?
Burnin' it at both ends?
398
00:23:11,003 --> 00:23:13,965
- I was delivering newspapers.
- Well, good.
399
00:23:13,883 --> 00:23:16,678
- I rented a truck.
- That's good thinking.
400
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:19,564
- I put it on a credit card.
- Well, I'll reimburse you.
401
00:23:19,483 --> 00:23:22,277
Oh, no. You don't have to do that.
402
00:23:23,922 --> 00:23:25,924
I put it on your card.
I don't have one.
403
00:23:28,001 --> 00:23:32,840
Ed, that would normally be considered
larceny, but under the circumstances-
404
00:23:32,721 --> 00:23:33,972
Oh, excuse me.
405
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,799
Hold on a sec!
406
00:23:40,479 --> 00:23:44,025
This is 10 inches
of precision-made W�sthof steel,
407
00:23:43,919 --> 00:23:47,465
currently poised
between your brisket and prime rib.
408
00:23:47,358 --> 00:23:48,192
Floor's yours, Adam.
409
00:23:48,239 --> 00:23:50,324
What is this?
410
00:23:50,278 --> 00:23:55,033
- That's our story-your story.
- This is not my story.
411
00:23:54,877 --> 00:23:57,380
You butchered my copy!
It's unrecognizable.
412
00:23:57,357 --> 00:24:00,485
You talked for 20 minutes, Adam.
I had to edit somewhere.
413
00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:05,360
You call this editing? You walked
all over my prose in hobnailed boots!
414
00:24:05,396 --> 00:24:07,606
Why don't you put up
the pigsticker,
415
00:24:07,556 --> 00:24:11,477
and we'll discuss this over brioche
and coffee, like civilized men.
416
00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:13,952
Who is that?
That's just Ed.
417
00:24:13,915 --> 00:24:16,334
Don't worry about him.
He's out like a light.
418
00:24:17,994 --> 00:24:22,457
Do you think this is a game?
Has this place been swept recently?
419
00:24:22,313 --> 00:24:24,566
I have a girl come in every Thursday.
420
00:24:25,473 --> 00:24:29,060
I'm talking about bugs.
You don't have a clue, do you?
421
00:24:29,113 --> 00:24:33,909
Microchips. Fiber optics.
It's a whole new ball game, Minnifield.
422
00:24:33,992 --> 00:24:37,788
I have seen transmitters
disguised as nasal hairs!
423
00:24:37,671 --> 00:24:40,174
- Really?
- They have listening devices now...
424
00:24:40,111 --> 00:24:43,697
that can pick up a caterpillar
sneezing two miles away.
425
00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:47,459
They know what you had
for breakfast two days ago.
426
00:24:47,350 --> 00:24:50,895
They know what car you're gonna
be buying three years from now.
427
00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:53,459
Every square inch of your existence...
428
00:24:53,429 --> 00:24:56,808
is being recorded, analyzed, monitored...
429
00:24:56,708 --> 00:25:00,754
and stored in a facility underground
right outside of Omaha.
430
00:25:00,621 --> 00:25:02,546
I think you're carrying
this a little far, aren't you?
431
00:25:02,508 --> 00:25:07,471
Oh, really?
Maurice Minnifield. Age: 53.
432
00:25:07,307 --> 00:25:12,604
Two-inch birthmark in the shape of
Madagascar, upper right trapezius.
433
00:25:12,467 --> 00:25:16,137
Enamel replacement,
left lateral incisor.
434
00:25:16,066 --> 00:25:20,612
Average rate of respiration
while engaged in sexual intercourse-
435
00:25:20,505 --> 00:25:22,715
- All right, hold it right there!
- Satisfied?
436
00:25:23,864 --> 00:25:27,410
- Let's just say I'm impressed.
- One phone call. One.
437
00:25:27,504 --> 00:25:29,047
My God.
438
00:25:29,104 --> 00:25:31,190
Botany is the next battlefield.
439
00:25:31,143 --> 00:25:33,771
What's going on out there
is just the beginning.
440
00:25:33,704 --> 00:25:35,539
What are you talking about?
441
00:25:35,823 --> 00:25:37,783
Picture this.
442
00:25:37,743 --> 00:25:39,870
Secure safe house.
443
00:25:39,822 --> 00:25:42,992
Clandestine operatives meet.
444
00:25:42,902 --> 00:25:46,238
Later on, the opposition
breaks into the room,
445
00:25:46,142 --> 00:25:48,144
debriefs the potted palm.
446
00:25:48,102 --> 00:25:52,481
Three days later, a plane
goes down outside of D�sseldorf.
447
00:25:53,940 --> 00:25:55,859
- Oh, come on!
- It happened!
448
00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:59,240
It's not a pretty picture.
Never mind the ethical implications.
449
00:25:59,180 --> 00:26:01,766
I mean, acorns
removed from their parents.
450
00:26:01,699 --> 00:26:05,245
Pleasure-pain experiments
performed on rhododendrons.
451
00:26:05,818 --> 00:26:08,696
Let's get this down
on floppy disk, shall we?
452
00:26:09,978 --> 00:26:12,105
What about the brioche?
453
00:26:12,498 --> 00:26:14,875
All I'm saying is
Leon's Roadhouse in Sweetwater...
454
00:26:14,818 --> 00:26:19,281
charges $3.50 for a bowl of chili half
this size, and theirs comes in a can.
455
00:26:20,816 --> 00:26:22,735
- I don't know.
- Oh, come on.
456
00:26:22,736 --> 00:26:26,114
Nobody's gonna squawk if we
bump the price to a buck, 75.
457
00:26:26,016 --> 00:26:27,893
What do you say?
458
00:26:27,895 --> 00:26:30,231
- Cool! Let's do it.
- All right. Yes.
459
00:26:30,215 --> 00:26:32,176
Order up.
460
00:26:32,175 --> 00:26:34,928
- Hmm.
- Hmm, what?
461
00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:36,479
Hmm, just hmm.
462
00:26:36,894 --> 00:26:39,980
You don't like the head?
No, no. I do.
463
00:26:39,894 --> 00:26:41,896
I mean, I did. I don't know.
464
00:26:43,013 --> 00:26:45,599
- We'll move it.
- No, no. It's fine.
465
00:26:46,132 --> 00:26:49,260
- We'll change it.
- No, Holling. It's-It's fine.
466
00:27:08,329 --> 00:27:11,750
- You want to borrow my stethoscope?
- I'll give it right back.
467
00:27:11,649 --> 00:27:15,278
Are you experiencing pain, O'Connell, in a
geographically sensitive region, perhaps?
468
00:27:15,208 --> 00:27:17,669
Because, despite a relationship
that can best be described...
469
00:27:17,609 --> 00:27:19,569
as an allergic reaction,
I'm still your doctor.
470
00:27:19,569 --> 00:27:21,696
- So if there's something wrong-
- It's not for me, Fleischman.
471
00:27:21,688 --> 00:27:23,899
Well, you're a little old to be
playing doctor, aren't you?
472
00:27:23,847 --> 00:27:25,391
Just forget it. Just forget it!
473
00:27:25,407 --> 00:27:28,035
Wait. If I'm gonna lend an expensive
piece of diagnostic equipment,
474
00:27:27,967 --> 00:27:29,802
I think I deserve to know the reason.
475
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,060
Well, you'll just laugh.
476
00:27:31,047 --> 00:27:32,298
- No, I won't.
- Yes, you will.
477
00:27:32,286 --> 00:27:35,956
No, I won't. I'm a doctor.
There isn't much I haven't seen.
478
00:27:35,885 --> 00:27:37,679
I don't know what's
going on here, Maurice.
479
00:27:37,646 --> 00:27:39,773
There's more involved here
than dollars and cents.
480
00:27:39,725 --> 00:27:41,853
There's the small matter
of the public trust.
481
00:27:41,805 --> 00:27:43,766
I just left my office
where Maggie O'Connell-
482
00:27:43,724 --> 00:27:45,685
someone whose personality
I won't comment on,
483
00:27:45,644 --> 00:27:47,605
but whose grasp of reality
I'd rate above average-
484
00:27:47,564 --> 00:27:52,402
is concerned that a log she cut down
is suffering from separation anxiety.
485
00:27:52,363 --> 00:27:55,617
Joel, my only obligation
is to print the truth.
486
00:27:55,523 --> 00:27:58,401
Oh, right. You're a regular pillar
of the First Amendment.
487
00:27:58,323 --> 00:28:00,742
Hey, a joke's a joke, Maurice.
Get out while you can.
488
00:28:00,682 --> 00:28:03,810
- This is no joke, Fleischman.
- What? You've talked to the trees?
489
00:28:03,762 --> 00:28:06,306
You've seen government agents
skulking around in the woods?
490
00:28:06,282 --> 00:28:10,244
- No, I haven't, but my source has.
- What source? Come on.
491
00:28:10,121 --> 00:28:14,250
You and I both know you invented this
unnamed reporter to boost circulation.
492
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,366
Joel, do you think I have the imagination
to invent something like this?
493
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,649
No, I know for a fact
that you don't.
494
00:28:23,039 --> 00:28:26,667
No. You didn't.
495
00:28:27,878 --> 00:28:31,215
You did!
You made a deal with Adam?
496
00:28:31,198 --> 00:28:33,325
Oh, my God.
Calm down, Joel.
497
00:28:33,318 --> 00:28:38,031
You let the genie out of the bottle.
The man is a certifiable paranoid psychotic.
498
00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:41,129
Maybe so, but he does spin
one heck of a yarn, doesn't he?
499
00:28:41,036 --> 00:28:43,998
You can't believe a word he says.
You know that, don't you?
500
00:28:43,916 --> 00:28:46,502
It doesn't matter what I believe.
It matters what the public believes.
501
00:28:46,476 --> 00:28:48,728
- Meaning what?
- Meaning you give 'em what they want.
502
00:28:48,676 --> 00:28:50,511
That's the role of journalism.
503
00:28:50,474 --> 00:28:53,519
No, Maurice, that's the role
of professional wrestling.
504
00:28:53,475 --> 00:28:56,519
No guts, no glory.
505
00:28:58,314 --> 00:29:03,278
Uh, got a little weather advisory for anybody
out there conversing with the local flora.
506
00:29:03,113 --> 00:29:06,367
Big ol' storm front
due in from the northeast.
507
00:29:07,392 --> 00:29:09,352
Hey, why don't you
come in from the cold,
508
00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:13,274
warm yourselves with a big old bowl
of homemade chili at The Brick.
509
00:29:13,551 --> 00:29:18,306
Big ol' heaping bowl
for a measly buck, 75.
510
00:29:18,191 --> 00:29:20,152
Chili there.
511
00:29:20,831 --> 00:29:23,125
Maybe you got
something else to do.
512
00:29:23,150 --> 00:29:26,946
What's happening tonight?
Anglo-Saxon night at The Brick.
513
00:29:26,870 --> 00:29:30,207
Our salute to our soggy forebears
from the Sceptred Isle.
514
00:29:31,190 --> 00:29:35,819
And, uh, we're featuring the first annual
Arrowhead tag team dart championship.
515
00:29:37,468 --> 00:29:39,762
Seemed like a good idea at the time.
516
00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:43,877
I guess we'll give it a try.
517
00:29:43,867 --> 00:29:45,994
Um, hey, how about-
how about a tune?
518
00:30:00,505 --> 00:30:02,423
Can't sleep, babe?
519
00:30:05,064 --> 00:30:08,735
I built this bar.
Me and Joe Bernardi.
520
00:30:08,704 --> 00:30:10,664
Wonder how many beers
I've served here.
521
00:30:10,624 --> 00:30:14,795
A hundred thousand?
Millions?
522
00:30:14,662 --> 00:30:18,833
Come back to bed, hon.
I'll rub your temples.
523
00:30:18,743 --> 00:30:21,078
I always enjoyed seeing Chris
come through the door.
524
00:30:21,022 --> 00:30:23,566
He's a good customer.
525
00:30:23,542 --> 00:30:26,461
Never ran off at the mouth.
Paid his tabs.
526
00:30:26,741 --> 00:30:29,292
Eat anything you'd put in front of him.
527
00:30:29,220 --> 00:30:32,265
But lately I just get this urge
to punch his lights out.
528
00:30:33,420 --> 00:30:36,298
I think that might be bad
for business, Holling.
529
00:30:36,220 --> 00:30:38,181
It's nothing he's done.
530
00:30:38,180 --> 00:30:41,725
Heck, we're makin' more money
than we did before.
531
00:30:41,659 --> 00:30:44,411
I'm not a partner man. I just-
532
00:30:45,418 --> 00:30:48,505
Either it's my bar or it isn't.
533
00:30:49,258 --> 00:30:50,885
What do you wanna do?
534
00:30:51,297 --> 00:30:53,883
There's only one thing I can do.
535
00:30:54,297 --> 00:30:56,216
Sell out to Chris.
536
00:30:56,657 --> 00:30:58,117
But it's your bar, Holling.
537
00:30:58,176 --> 00:31:02,389
It was my bar.
That crowd tonight-
538
00:31:02,576 --> 00:31:05,204
Those weren't my customers.
They were his.
539
00:31:06,576 --> 00:31:08,620
So give Chris his money back.
540
00:31:08,895 --> 00:31:11,022
We'll find another way
to pay our taxes.
541
00:31:11,014 --> 00:31:15,018
I can't do that, Shelly.
I asked Chris to help out.
542
00:31:15,054 --> 00:31:18,391
No, I'm not gonna stand
in the way of progress.
543
00:31:18,494 --> 00:31:21,372
Change comes to all things.
544
00:31:21,493 --> 00:31:23,912
Guess we'll just
have to change with it.
545
00:31:25,333 --> 00:31:26,835
Okay.
546
00:31:28,813 --> 00:31:30,773
That's all right with you?
547
00:31:30,732 --> 00:31:34,485
Shelly, it'll turn your life
upside down.
548
00:31:35,252 --> 00:31:38,547
Well, yeah.
We'll find some other gig.
549
00:31:44,490 --> 00:31:47,660
- Can we go back to bed now?
- Yeah.
550
00:32:08,526 --> 00:32:11,571
Rain usually makes me feel mellow.
551
00:32:11,526 --> 00:32:15,780
Curl-up-in-the-corner time.
Slow down. Smell the furniture.
552
00:32:17,285 --> 00:32:21,289
Today it just...
makes me feel wet.
553
00:32:24,444 --> 00:32:27,363
What is it about possessing things?
554
00:32:28,164 --> 00:32:31,542
Why do we feel the need
to own what we love?
555
00:32:31,484 --> 00:32:34,528
And why do we become
such jerks when we do?
556
00:32:35,723 --> 00:32:40,602
We've all been there, you know.
You want something. You possess it.
557
00:32:40,482 --> 00:32:43,151
And by possessing it, we lose it.
558
00:32:43,122 --> 00:32:46,458
When you finally
win the girl of your dreams,
559
00:32:46,401 --> 00:32:48,903
first thing you do,
you try to change her.
560
00:32:49,281 --> 00:32:51,533
That little thing she'd do with her hair,
561
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,988
the way she wears her clothes,
562
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,616
the way she chews her gum.
563
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,594
Pretty soon, what you liked,
564
00:33:00,519 --> 00:33:02,938
what you've changed
and what you don't like,
565
00:33:02,918 --> 00:33:05,504
it all... blends together...
566
00:33:06,998 --> 00:33:09,166
like a watercolor in the rain.
567
00:33:13,957 --> 00:33:16,584
- Where is he?
- I dunno.
568
00:33:21,516 --> 00:33:23,518
You seen him, Fleischman?
569
00:33:23,516 --> 00:33:26,644
Hey, be glad he's gone, Maurice.
The only loss is to our appetites.
570
00:33:26,555 --> 00:33:29,349
You know where he lives. You've
been there. How do you get there?
571
00:33:29,275 --> 00:33:31,903
Got me. I was blindfolded
when I was there.
572
00:33:31,834 --> 00:33:33,836
Um, I do remember trees though.
573
00:33:40,434 --> 00:33:41,643
- Holling-
- Chris-
574
00:33:41,633 --> 00:33:43,009
Look, I-
Me first.
575
00:33:43,033 --> 00:33:44,075
No, me.
Chris.
576
00:33:44,073 --> 00:33:46,951
Look, Holling, I know what you're
gonna say. I can save us some time.
577
00:33:48,792 --> 00:33:50,460
All right.
578
00:33:50,792 --> 00:33:54,629
Well, since we've become partners,
you know, the bar's changed.
579
00:33:54,511 --> 00:33:58,849
I mean, we both know that. It's become
more popular, more - more efficient.
580
00:33:58,710 --> 00:34:01,630
More profitable.
More profitable.
581
00:34:02,470 --> 00:34:04,263
It's, uh-
582
00:34:05,869 --> 00:34:07,913
It's what?
583
00:34:08,669 --> 00:34:10,546
I hate it.
584
00:34:13,309 --> 00:34:17,313
Holling, last night
I couldn't breathe.
585
00:34:18,027 --> 00:34:21,322
I had to leave a bar
for the first time in my life.
586
00:34:21,268 --> 00:34:25,314
It's weird. I love your bar,
but when it became my bar,
587
00:34:25,347 --> 00:34:27,975
all I could see were things
I wanted to change, you know?
588
00:34:28,066 --> 00:34:31,278
And then last night,
I stepped back and I took a look,
589
00:34:31,185 --> 00:34:35,356
and... I got this awful feeling
in the pit of my stomach.
590
00:34:35,219 --> 00:34:39,147
You know, like
when you fall out of love,
591
00:34:39,024 --> 00:34:40,943
and it's over, but you're
still trying to hang on.
592
00:34:40,905 --> 00:34:43,282
I can't enjoy myself
in The Brick anymore.
593
00:34:43,944 --> 00:34:46,906
And what it's done to my head,
Holling- It's-It's really strange.
594
00:34:46,864 --> 00:34:50,326
I mean, it's got me thinking
about profit margin...
595
00:34:50,263 --> 00:34:54,434
and-and return on investment
and coasters.
596
00:34:54,542 --> 00:34:57,545
I'm making people use coasters.
Where'd that come from?
597
00:35:00,902 --> 00:35:04,113
I really thought owning a bar
was gonna be it for me.
598
00:35:07,781 --> 00:35:10,200
I guess there's two kind
of people in the world:
599
00:35:10,180 --> 00:35:12,265
Owners and renters.
600
00:35:12,260 --> 00:35:15,722
And I'm a renter,
and I gotta get out.
601
00:35:20,499 --> 00:35:22,417
You'll want your money back then.
602
00:35:23,539 --> 00:35:26,041
Well, uh, the way I see it,
603
00:35:26,018 --> 00:35:29,396
I must've blown 1,500 bucks
on free drinks that first night.
604
00:35:29,337 --> 00:35:32,632
So we'll take that off the top, and
then you just pay me whenever you can.
605
00:35:36,297 --> 00:35:38,882
That's very generous of you.
606
00:35:39,376 --> 00:35:41,837
Hey, Holling, I'd rather have
my money helping a friend...
607
00:35:41,856 --> 00:35:44,567
than breeding
in some bank somewhere.
608
00:35:48,295 --> 00:35:50,214
Hmm. Want a beer?
609
00:35:51,174 --> 00:35:53,093
You buying?
610
00:35:53,094 --> 00:35:55,471
You bet.
Well, all right.
611
00:36:16,331 --> 00:36:19,334
You're not the only foot soldier
to go through jungle school.
612
00:36:20,610 --> 00:36:22,529
- You found me.
- Of course.
613
00:36:23,850 --> 00:36:26,311
- I knew you would.
- Slowly!
614
00:36:30,888 --> 00:36:35,435
- It's all over, Minnifield.
- It's not over until I say it's over.
615
00:36:35,328 --> 00:36:38,248
You don't leave the field
with the ball on the five-yard line.
616
00:36:38,208 --> 00:36:41,628
- You've gotta go ahead and punch it in.
- Do you think this is a game?
617
00:36:42,487 --> 00:36:45,448
Oh, I see.
A little leverage at "H" hour, huh?
618
00:36:45,407 --> 00:36:47,534
All right. What do you want?
619
00:36:47,526 --> 00:36:49,820
You want a restaurant?
I'll buy you a restaurant.
620
00:36:49,766 --> 00:36:54,270
Why would I possibly want
a restaurant? I hate people!
621
00:36:54,365 --> 00:36:56,868
Two more articles, Adam.
Two more.
622
00:36:57,005 --> 00:36:59,257
You've got to find an ending
to this story.
623
00:36:59,245 --> 00:37:02,998
You, Ben Bradlee, Arthur Sulzberger-
You're all alike!
624
00:37:03,124 --> 00:37:05,502
You squeeze and you squeeze,
625
00:37:05,564 --> 00:37:08,817
and when there's nothing left,
you squeeze a little bit more, don't you?
626
00:37:09,643 --> 00:37:12,104
- Agh.
- Hold it! You're not going anywhere.
627
00:37:14,163 --> 00:37:16,248
Who's gonna stop me?
628
00:37:16,922 --> 00:37:18,757
I think I'd better warn you...
629
00:37:19,482 --> 00:37:21,651
I'm an expert at hand-to-hand.
630
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:29,599
I would rip out your heart and show it
to you before it stopped beating.
631
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,026
Your neck would be snapped
like a dry twig...
632
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,546
before your hand reached my chest.
633
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,824
What?
634
00:37:38,039 --> 00:37:42,668
Company.
Two men and a woman...
635
00:37:42,559 --> 00:37:45,103
or a very small man.
636
00:38:21,513 --> 00:38:25,433
Maurice, this is unhealthy.
It's been a week.
637
00:38:25,552 --> 00:38:27,596
I mean, look at you.
638
00:38:27,592 --> 00:38:29,886
You're not sleeping.
You're not eating.
639
00:38:29,952 --> 00:38:33,247
I mean, I admit the cuisine is
a major comedown since Adam left,
640
00:38:33,151 --> 00:38:35,069
but you've gotta
get on with your life.
641
00:38:35,031 --> 00:38:36,950
Go buy more property.
Or go hunting.
642
00:38:36,910 --> 00:38:39,163
Yeah, why don't you
go kill something?
643
00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:42,070
I should've played him
differently, Joel.
644
00:38:42,030 --> 00:38:45,367
A thoroughbred like Adam
is a different breed.
645
00:38:46,349 --> 00:38:49,519
Requires special handling,
more room.
646
00:38:49,469 --> 00:38:53,514
Maurice, it was gonna collapse
sooner or later. You're obsessing.
647
00:38:53,388 --> 00:38:55,140
I mean, if you date a Vegas showgirl,
648
00:38:55,148 --> 00:38:57,526
you can't be surprised when
she runs off with the magician.
649
00:38:58,908 --> 00:39:00,826
Look at the bright side.
You're not being sued.
650
00:39:00,827 --> 00:39:02,745
You still have your reputation.
651
00:39:02,747 --> 00:39:05,541
The outside world has forgotten that the
Cicely News & World Telegram even exists.
652
00:39:05,507 --> 00:39:09,010
- There's a lot to be thankful for.
- What?
653
00:39:09,385 --> 00:39:11,304
Maurice-
654
00:39:11,745 --> 00:39:12,788
What is it, Ed?
655
00:39:13,225 --> 00:39:17,396
Well, I thought about whether
I should show you this.
656
00:39:17,385 --> 00:39:21,055
On one hand, there are
your feelings to protect.
657
00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:25,154
Well, and on the other hand, you probably
would have found out about it anyway.
658
00:39:25,664 --> 00:39:28,625
The two hands fought,
and for a while I-
659
00:39:30,583 --> 00:39:32,877
Chemical spill?
660
00:39:35,502 --> 00:39:38,505
"Residual biochemical imbalance.
661
00:39:38,461 --> 00:39:41,965
Uniquely sensitive ecosystem."
What- This is a joke, right?
662
00:39:42,901 --> 00:39:45,028
The trees were screaming for help.
663
00:39:46,741 --> 00:39:48,326
Forget about it, Maurice.
664
00:39:48,340 --> 00:39:53,095
Hey, this is- this is a coincidence,
a- a one-in-a-million shot.
665
00:39:52,979 --> 00:39:56,608
I mean, statistically, if Adam talks enough, he
has to hit on some truth every now and again.
666
00:39:56,539 --> 00:40:00,627
I mean, even a broken clock
is accurate twice a day.
667
00:40:00,658 --> 00:40:03,161
I dreamed of hooking the big one.
668
00:40:04,618 --> 00:40:06,703
Oh, I hooked that fish deep.
669
00:40:06,697 --> 00:40:08,991
Then he sounded.
670
00:40:08,977 --> 00:40:10,895
I ran out of line.
671
00:40:14,457 --> 00:40:15,875
Morning, Cicely.
672
00:40:15,896 --> 00:40:18,399
You'll be pleased to know that
that corps of army engineers...
673
00:40:18,376 --> 00:40:23,715
is arriving this morning to restore
our fragile tundra, bloody but unbowed.
674
00:40:23,575 --> 00:40:26,286
Godspeed, boys,
and tell the army...
675
00:40:26,255 --> 00:40:30,008
no more high jinks in our
fair woods, understand?
676
00:40:30,174 --> 00:40:33,761
I understand that our trees
have quit their howling.
677
00:40:34,094 --> 00:40:37,555
End of a crowd-pleasing
phenomenon for us, perhaps,
678
00:40:37,573 --> 00:40:41,077
but resumption
of business as usual for them.
679
00:40:41,412 --> 00:40:46,751
Ah, yes, life in the slow lane,
as it should be.
680
00:40:46,572 --> 00:40:48,866
You know, if our timber
were to speak again,
681
00:40:48,852 --> 00:40:52,606
I got a feeling it would probably say
something like, "Hey, people, enough. "
682
00:40:53,891 --> 00:40:56,394
You know, some things
we're not meant to tamper with.
683
00:40:56,370 --> 00:40:59,832
Some things... better left alone.
684
00:40:59,850 --> 00:41:04,688
And that's okay, because happiness
doesn't come from having things, right?
685
00:41:04,769 --> 00:41:06,896
It comes from being part of things.
686
00:41:08,408 --> 00:41:12,329
My thanks to Shelly and Holling for
giving me the space to work that one out.
687
00:41:15,288 --> 00:41:18,416
Okay. I think this is the place.
688
00:41:18,567 --> 00:41:22,238
I'm telling you, O'Connell. This whole thing
was dreamed up by some White House flack...
689
00:41:22,121 --> 00:41:24,129
to divert attention
from domestic policy debate.
690
00:41:24,087 --> 00:41:26,756
There were never any talking trees.
Quiet.
691
00:41:26,686 --> 00:41:29,188
What?
You didn't hear that?
692
00:41:29,166 --> 00:41:31,627
Hear what?
You're hallucinating.
693
00:41:31,605 --> 00:41:34,066
I mean, if-if you can hallucinate
with your ears.
694
00:41:34,045 --> 00:41:36,631
You know what, Fleischman?
You just don't want to listen.
695
00:41:36,605 --> 00:41:39,024
I don't even know what
I'm supposed to be listening for.
696
00:41:38,964 --> 00:41:42,134
Do they speak English? Esperanto? What?
697
00:41:42,084 --> 00:41:45,295
Sounds, Fleischman.
I mean, they speak sounds.
698
00:41:45,203 --> 00:41:47,580
I mean, I just can't explain it. It's-
699
00:41:50,243 --> 00:41:52,495
You're right. I'm an idiot.
700
00:41:53,323 --> 00:41:54,699
No, come on. Wait. Wait.
701
00:41:54,682 --> 00:41:57,643
You know, I have a very meaningful
experience in the woods,
702
00:41:57,562 --> 00:42:00,356
and for some stupid reason
I choose to share it with you,
703
00:42:00,401 --> 00:42:02,570
and you just can't resist
trashing it, can you?
704
00:42:02,641 --> 00:42:05,977
Okay, okay. Don't take it so personally.
Look, I'm sorry. All right?
705
00:42:05,921 --> 00:42:07,673
I'm just- I am not a child of nature.
706
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,641
I am a child of asphalt and toxic fumes,
707
00:42:11,359 --> 00:42:13,653
and I have never listened
to trees before, all right?
708
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:14,891
I mean-
709
00:42:16,759 --> 00:42:21,222
- What? What am I supposed to do?
- Just listen.
710
00:42:36,716 --> 00:42:38,385
Okay.
711
00:42:38,956 --> 00:42:40,874
You hear anything?
712
00:42:42,955 --> 00:42:44,415
No.
713
00:42:45,675 --> 00:42:48,094
Well, we'll just stay here
for a few minutes,
714
00:42:48,074 --> 00:42:50,702
and we'll move on
to another place.
715
00:42:50,874 --> 00:42:52,584
Right.
716
00:42:52,634 --> 00:42:57,184
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
60878
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.