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1
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:05,880
My shooting arm is shot, O'Connell.
2
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,480
You gave 150 vaccinations today.
You put in a pretty good day's work.
3
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,480
I wish they could have found
another way to show their appreciation.
4
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:17,000
Caribou pelt parka.
Maybe a nice seal gut raincoat.
5
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:21,720
They gave you a great tribute.
To them, that's a delicacy back there.
6
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,360
Fifty pounds of whale blubber?
7
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,760
I feel like I'm being wafted
to death by fish fumes.
8
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:31,440
My-My eyes are stinging.
My-My-My throat is constricting.
9
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,440
What was that?
10
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,720
Just a little turbulence, Fleischman,
like the last 87,000 times.
11
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,960
- It felt like a bird. Are you sure it wasn't a bird?
- It wasn't a bird.
12
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,440
Go ahead, laugh.
Logan Airport, 1973,
13
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,720
an entire 747, filled to capacity,
was- fell to the earth like a stone...
14
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,240
because of an-an innocent flock
of whatchamacallits.
15
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,160
Starlings. And 88 people died.
16
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,080
Please, God, let this plane land.
17
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,280
Let me sleep in my own bed
one more time...
18
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,880
in that drafty, miserable
little shack she rents me.
19
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,880
I'll never shave another stroke
off my golf game again. I promise.
20
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,840
What?
We're losing altitude.
21
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,280
Come on. That's not funny,
O'Connell. Not even as a joke.
22
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,240
This is Cessna 4423 Victor.
I'd like to declare an emergency.
23
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:19,040
Cut it out, O'Connell! I'm having
trouble maintaining altitude.
24
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,000
Unable to reach any airport.
I'm going in for an emergency landing.
25
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,640
Oh, no.
26
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:27,200
Location approximately 130 miles off
Aniakchak. V.O.R. on the 270-degree radial.
27
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:31,480
I see a clearing. Looks adequate. I'm going
in for a landing. No time to check the terrain.
28
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,840
Oh, God, O'Connell.
God! Oh, God!
29
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,074
-= www.OpenSubtitles.org =-
30
00:02:19,752 --> 00:02:21,512
Get out.
I can't open the door.
31
00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:25,832
Fleischman, just get out.
I've got to check the plane. Okay.
32
00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:29,912
Nothing seems to be broken.
No evidence of concussion.
33
00:02:29,952 --> 00:02:32,792
No apparent contusion.
My legs are here.
34
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,312
I'm alive. I'm alive!
35
00:02:36,392 --> 00:02:38,872
I'm alive! I'm alive!
We're alive, O'Connell!
36
00:02:38,952 --> 00:02:41,792
You did it! You're the most wonderful
pilot known to man and woman.
37
00:02:41,872 --> 00:02:44,632
You are a genius! Do you know that?
A fabulous, wonderful genius!
38
00:02:44,672 --> 00:02:47,832
I am grateful to you
for the rest of my life. Come here.
39
00:02:47,912 --> 00:02:51,392
Get away! Watch it! Cut it out!
This is not a picnic!
40
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:54,552
We're alive, O'Connell! We didn't perish
in a ball of flame. It's a miracle!
41
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:57,992
Yeah, well, tell that to the engine.
The engine?
42
00:02:58,072 --> 00:03:01,112
I mean, we lost power,
in case you didn't notice.
43
00:03:01,152 --> 00:03:04,312
What's wrong with it? I don't
know, Fleischman. I can't tell yet.
44
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:07,232
It's not like it's wearing a sign.
45
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,792
You think it's broken?
Very perceptive.
46
00:03:10,872 --> 00:03:14,112
Yeah, Fleischman, in all likelihood,
I think something's broken.
47
00:03:14,192 --> 00:03:16,512
I would say in all probability
something's broken.
48
00:03:16,592 --> 00:03:19,072
All right. Can you fix it?
I hope so.
49
00:03:19,152 --> 00:03:21,472
Can't you call the airplane
version of the Triple A?
50
00:03:21,552 --> 00:03:25,152
Fleischman, this isn't Central Park.
It's the Anaktuvuk Preserve.
51
00:03:25,232 --> 00:03:27,872
It's 4.2 million acres
of genuine wilderness.
52
00:03:27,952 --> 00:03:30,472
It'll take two or three days
for someone to get to us.
53
00:03:30,552 --> 00:03:33,272
And that's if the weather holds.
Two to three days?
54
00:03:33,312 --> 00:03:35,992
- If we're lucky.
- Well, what are we gonna eat?
55
00:03:36,072 --> 00:03:38,952
Where are we gonna sleep?
What if an animal visits?
56
00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:42,592
- Visits? You mean, like, unannounced?
- Yeah.
57
00:03:42,672 --> 00:03:45,672
We'll just invite him or her into the parlor
and offer them a glass of lemonade.
58
00:03:47,832 --> 00:03:51,152
Sittin'in thejaws
of the Anaktuvuk, are they?
59
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,112
Yep. Safe and sound.
60
00:03:53,152 --> 00:03:56,112
Fish and Game says it'll take a few days
to get 'em out of there though.
61
00:03:56,192 --> 00:04:00,312
I used to hunt over that way. That is,
until I gave up the great sport of killing.
62
00:04:00,392 --> 00:04:02,232
Mm.
Excellent goat country.
63
00:04:05,352 --> 00:04:09,432
- Can I help you?
- I'm looking for Shelly Tambo.
64
00:04:09,472 --> 00:04:13,512
She's over to the store just now,
but I expect her back momentarily. Oh.
65
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:15,512
Would you care to sit?
Nah.
66
00:04:15,592 --> 00:04:20,512
I've been on the road for hours,
and my buns are squished.
67
00:04:20,592 --> 00:04:22,952
Oh. Well, here she is now.
Shelly?
68
00:04:23,032 --> 00:04:27,032
Hi, babe. I got enough lard to sink a ship,
and our ant poison finally came in.
69
00:04:27,072 --> 00:04:31,112
- Shelly? Shelly Tambo?
- Cindy?
70
00:04:31,192 --> 00:04:36,472
I didn't even recognize you.
You look... so old.
71
00:04:36,552 --> 00:04:38,112
You lost weight.
72
00:04:38,192 --> 00:04:41,672
Traveling around with the guys so much,
who's got time to eat?
73
00:04:41,752 --> 00:04:44,312
The team's fifth
in the Pan-Canadian minors now.
74
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:47,992
They're letting Wayne
start. Left wing. Huh.
75
00:04:51,472 --> 00:04:54,632
- Wayne here too?
- No. Just me.
76
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:59,952
- What are you doing here?
- Well, Wayne drank a case of beer...
77
00:05:00,032 --> 00:05:02,592
after they lost to Athabasca
night before last,
78
00:05:02,672 --> 00:05:07,352
and he told me that
you and him are not divorced.
79
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:11,192
He tells me this after we've
been hitched for six months.
80
00:05:11,232 --> 00:05:14,232
You didn't even ask
to see papers or anything?
81
00:05:14,312 --> 00:05:17,192
Well, no.
I took him at his word.
82
00:05:17,272 --> 00:05:20,672
Which would've been fine, but you
know how he gets when they blow a game,
83
00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:24,072
and he drinks too much
and starts telling the truth.
84
00:05:24,152 --> 00:05:27,512
You gotta get a divorce from
Wayne, Shelly. Why should I?
85
00:05:28,872 --> 00:05:31,832
Why? Because, Shelly,
if my parents find out...
86
00:05:31,912 --> 00:05:34,832
that I'm married to a married man,
you know they're gonna have a cow.
87
00:05:34,912 --> 00:05:37,992
You were supposed to be
my best friend, Cindy.
88
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:41,512
I am your best friend, Shelly.
Wayne was my husband.
89
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:45,592
Yeah, and you left him high and dry
with that big shot astronaut,
90
00:05:45,632 --> 00:05:48,632
and now you're shacking up
with someone else anyway.
91
00:05:48,672 --> 00:05:52,392
So? You didn't even come
to my wedding party, Shelly.
92
00:05:52,472 --> 00:05:55,792
We had four kegs and a band,
and you didn't even come.
93
00:05:55,872 --> 00:05:58,872
I had too much to do.
94
00:05:58,952 --> 00:06:00,832
So what am I supposed to do?
95
00:06:00,912 --> 00:06:03,312
Live in sin. I do.
96
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,912
I know there were
some Tic Tacs in here.
97
00:06:13,992 --> 00:06:17,112
Fleischman, if you
could just get off your butt.
98
00:06:17,192 --> 00:06:19,392
Human beings are
supposed to eat, O'Connell.
99
00:06:19,472 --> 00:06:22,872
The body is like a furnace.
No fuel, no energy, ergo, no life.
100
00:06:22,952 --> 00:06:25,112
Well, try some of that
Eskimo candy.
101
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,552
That is by no stretch
of the imagination candy.
102
00:06:27,632 --> 00:06:30,952
That is dried salmon pieces,
and it's disgusting, okay?
103
00:06:31,032 --> 00:06:32,872
Fine. Starve then.
104
00:06:32,952 --> 00:06:34,272
Ow!
Careful.
105
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:37,312
Fleischman, could you try
not to put your feet through the tent?
106
00:06:37,392 --> 00:06:39,792
Do you think you can try
and do that, please?
107
00:06:39,872 --> 00:06:41,712
What is this made of?
Nylon.
108
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:44,192
This is nothing. This is supposed
to protect us from the elements?
109
00:06:44,272 --> 00:06:46,872
If this protects us
from one element, we'll be lucky.
110
00:06:46,912 --> 00:06:49,832
This is all-weather nylon.
State of the art.
111
00:06:49,912 --> 00:06:51,752
Now, would you hand me the "B'"pole?
112
00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:54,472
To a bear, this would be
like gift wrapping.
113
00:06:54,552 --> 00:06:57,032
How do you tell
a "B" pole from an "A" pole?
114
00:06:57,112 --> 00:07:00,992
Fleischman, this urban act of yours
doesn't play in the wilderness.
115
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,352
So if you have
any interest in survival,
116
00:07:03,432 --> 00:07:07,112
you're gonna have to drop the witty banter
and hand me the damn pole.
117
00:07:07,192 --> 00:07:10,632
Thank you, Captain Bligh of the Yukon.
Let's get one thing straight, O'Connell.
118
00:07:10,712 --> 00:07:13,552
The wilderness
is not exactly my cup of tea.
119
00:07:13,632 --> 00:07:17,232
I do not seek wilderness, nor do I enjoy
being trapped out here in the middle of it.
120
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,672
I do not enjoy being trapped
out here in this entire Alaska!
121
00:07:19,712 --> 00:07:21,632
I'm being forced to remain here
against my will,
122
00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:23,512
against every fiber in my entire being.
123
00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:27,192
So the least you can do, if we're gonna be stuck
out here together, is try and be a little civil.
124
00:07:27,232 --> 00:07:29,152
Okay.
Good.
125
00:07:29,232 --> 00:07:31,992
Now which-which-which pole?
126
00:07:32,072 --> 00:07:33,912
The gold one.
127
00:07:33,992 --> 00:07:35,912
And, uh, two coffees.
128
00:07:35,992 --> 00:07:38,712
Is that it?
Yeah.
129
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:49,032
I took the liberty of fixing you
a salmon patty plate.
130
00:07:49,112 --> 00:07:52,992
I figured you might want something
more than coffee after such a long drive.
131
00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:54,912
Thanks.
132
00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:58,752
I'm Holling Vincoeur,
Shelly's... man.
133
00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:03,192
I'm Cindy.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Cindy.
134
00:08:03,272 --> 00:08:05,552
May I sit down?
Sure. Take a load off.
135
00:08:09,352 --> 00:08:11,392
Wow. You are old.
136
00:08:11,472 --> 00:08:13,872
I mean, Wayne said
you were old, but-
137
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,032
How old are you?
138
00:08:17,392 --> 00:08:19,712
Uh, well, Cindy, I'm 63.
139
00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:22,912
Wow.
I'm sorry about Shelly.
140
00:08:22,992 --> 00:08:24,912
She didn't really
mean anything by it.
141
00:08:24,952 --> 00:08:28,072
She can get real stubborn
when she sets her jaw.
142
00:08:28,152 --> 00:08:32,352
She's real P.O.'d at me, isn't she? Well,
she's pretty possessive when it comes to men.
143
00:08:32,432 --> 00:08:34,272
How do you think I feel?
144
00:08:34,352 --> 00:08:36,472
Cindy doesn't mind
taking Shelly's sloppy seconds.
145
00:08:36,512 --> 00:08:38,392
Cindy doesn't mind
picking up her strays.
146
00:08:38,432 --> 00:08:40,872
I get the guy one time.
One time!
147
00:08:40,952 --> 00:08:43,872
Not to mention the fact that
she didn't even want Wayne anymore,
148
00:08:43,952 --> 00:08:47,672
which I suppose technically makes him another sloppy
seconds as far as my track record is concerned,
149
00:08:47,712 --> 00:08:51,512
but do you see me getting all hot and
sweaty under the brassiere because of it?
150
00:08:51,552 --> 00:08:53,912
- Uh, well-
- How do your folks feel...
151
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,712
about the two of you
shacking up without a license?
152
00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,632
My parents?
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
153
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,152
- You mean about us not being married?
- Mm-hmm.
154
00:09:01,232 --> 00:09:04,152
Well, that's not really
much of a problem.
155
00:09:04,232 --> 00:09:07,152
- How come?
- They're dead.
156
00:09:09,032 --> 00:09:10,512
Bummer.
157
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:15,112
Well, my dad is this hard-line
Sergeant Rock-type dude,
158
00:09:15,192 --> 00:09:17,392
and my mom's
practically a Holy Roller.
159
00:09:17,472 --> 00:09:20,712
Boy, when they find out
Wayne is a watchamacallit-
160
00:09:20,792 --> 00:09:24,272
A bigamist?
No, not that.
161
00:09:24,312 --> 00:09:28,072
I mean one of those guys that's
married to two chicks at the same time.
162
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:32,392
I can tell you- there aren't gonna be
any more Sunday dinners at Mom's trailer.
163
00:09:33,912 --> 00:09:38,912
Well, Cindy, maybe you and Wayne
could get divorced,
164
00:09:38,992 --> 00:09:42,232
and then, when Shelly calms down
and starts looking at things differently,
165
00:09:42,272 --> 00:09:44,672
she and Wayne will get divorced,
and you two can get married.
166
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:48,832
No way. I don't care if I ever see that
snake in the grass again as long as I live.
167
00:09:48,912 --> 00:09:50,952
I don't care
ifhe is cuter than hell.
168
00:09:51,032 --> 00:09:55,312
I left him high and dry at the 7-11
and took off in his truck.
169
00:09:55,392 --> 00:09:59,352
Got his lucky stick too.
It's aluminum.
170
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,592
You know, like Gretzky.
171
00:10:01,672 --> 00:10:05,432
Winter's closing in on us.
172
00:10:08,632 --> 00:10:11,192
Come on under here,
and let me warm you up.
173
00:10:11,272 --> 00:10:13,112
I'm fat.
174
00:10:13,152 --> 00:10:17,672
Shelly, you are anything but fat.
175
00:10:18,872 --> 00:10:22,232
Look at me, Holling.
I'm as thick as a tree.
176
00:10:22,312 --> 00:10:25,392
- Where?
- Right here. See?
177
00:10:25,472 --> 00:10:27,472
I'm thickening.
178
00:10:28,832 --> 00:10:33,512
Cindy used to be thick.
And big as a house.
179
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:38,232
She thinks she's so great, traveling
around Canada with Wayne and the team.
180
00:10:38,312 --> 00:10:41,712
Like she was on tour with Whitesnake
or Metallica or somebody.
181
00:10:41,792 --> 00:10:45,992
I was the one who used to travel with the
team and watch Wayne play hockey, Holling.
182
00:10:46,072 --> 00:10:48,432
I know that, honey.
183
00:10:48,512 --> 00:10:53,112
I was the girl all the guys wanted to grope
when they got gassed after the game.
184
00:10:53,192 --> 00:10:55,992
I know.
I was the one who drove 'em crazy...
185
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,672
when I sat in the stands
wearing spandex and leather.
186
00:10:58,712 --> 00:11:01,632
I was the girl they wanted to paw.
Not Cindy. Me.
187
00:11:01,712 --> 00:11:04,472
Now Cindy's riding on the team bus...
188
00:11:04,512 --> 00:11:06,512
and staying in motels.
189
00:11:06,592 --> 00:11:09,672
Sometimes even hotels
where they have room service.
190
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:13,992
She's the one driving the boys crazy
with her skinny little thighs...
191
00:11:14,072 --> 00:11:16,792
and practically no waist.
192
00:11:18,992 --> 00:11:21,752
And I'm stuck here...
193
00:11:21,792 --> 00:11:24,352
thickening.
194
00:11:30,152 --> 00:11:34,112
- What was that?
- A wolf.
195
00:11:34,192 --> 00:11:36,592
Oh, God.
Oh, Fleischman.
196
00:11:36,672 --> 00:11:40,552
In the entire history of the Northwest,
there's never been a recorded incident...
197
00:11:40,632 --> 00:11:43,032
of a man being attacked by a wolf.
198
00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:46,712
It happens all the time in Russian novels.
Especially to newlyweds.
199
00:11:46,792 --> 00:11:50,792
They leave the wedding in a sled and are
immediately set upon by packs of voracious wolves.
200
00:11:50,872 --> 00:11:53,552
Get some sleep, Fleischman.
201
00:11:53,632 --> 00:11:56,792
What about bears? Or wolverines?
202
00:11:56,832 --> 00:11:59,312
What are wolverines anyways?
203
00:11:59,392 --> 00:12:02,592
Are they little wolves that swarm
all over you and nibble you to death?
204
00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:04,512
Sleep.
205
00:12:15,232 --> 00:12:17,872
Not to put too fine
a point on it, O'Connell,
206
00:12:17,952 --> 00:12:21,432
but has it occurred to you there
might be certain romantic implications...
207
00:12:21,472 --> 00:12:24,472
to us being stranded out here
in the middle of nowhere?
208
00:12:24,552 --> 00:12:26,712
In your dreams, Fleischman.
209
00:12:35,512 --> 00:12:38,792
Five thousand some odd years
of recorded history,
210
00:12:38,872 --> 00:12:43,712
centuries of thought and planning,
trial and error, research and development.
211
00:12:43,792 --> 00:12:47,032
Finally, indoor plumbing is perfected,
and in one fell swoop,
212
00:12:47,072 --> 00:12:50,192
I'm reduced to squatting in the woods
like a German shepherd.
213
00:12:50,272 --> 00:12:52,112
Would you hand me
the socket wrench?
214
00:12:52,192 --> 00:12:54,312
Socket wrench.
215
00:12:55,872 --> 00:12:58,232
I mean, to not even flush.
To just stand up and walk away.
216
00:12:58,312 --> 00:13:01,432
There's no sense of completion.
How's it coming?
217
00:13:01,472 --> 00:13:04,632
I don't know. I thought it was the
carburetor, but I don't see anything wrong.
218
00:13:04,672 --> 00:13:06,872
Well, that thing there looks loose.
This thing?
219
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:10,272
- Maybe if you tightened it.
- You think I should tighten it?
220
00:13:10,352 --> 00:13:13,952
- Yeah.
- Fleischman, this thing is called the butterfly.
221
00:13:14,032 --> 00:13:16,512
It controls the mixture
of the air and the gasoline.
222
00:13:16,592 --> 00:13:20,192
If I were to tighten it, as you suggest,
then there would be no air at all.
223
00:13:20,272 --> 00:13:23,032
- And that's no good?
- Fleischman, I'm trying to accomplish something here.
224
00:13:23,072 --> 00:13:25,472
Move.
225
00:13:25,552 --> 00:13:28,432
Well, when you are done there,
I have a surprise for you.
226
00:13:28,512 --> 00:13:31,752
Oh, yeah? What's that? Something
for breakfast besides seal blubber.
227
00:13:31,832 --> 00:13:34,392
No, thanks.
228
00:13:34,472 --> 00:13:36,952
I found them while
I was relieving myself out there.
229
00:13:37,032 --> 00:13:39,872
They're quite tasty. Try one.
230
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,072
No, thanks. Do you know
what those are, Fleischman?
231
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,512
Berries.
What kind of berries?
232
00:13:44,592 --> 00:13:46,152
Blueberries.
Red blueberries?
233
00:13:48,832 --> 00:13:51,192
- Yeah. What are they?
- Baneberries.
234
00:13:51,232 --> 00:13:54,432
- Baneberries? Are they poisonous?
- Only if you eat enough of them.
235
00:13:54,512 --> 00:13:58,712
Then I give you four, five minutes, tops.
236
00:14:07,152 --> 00:14:11,232
Excuse me. You don't happen to carry
any high-humidity mousse?
237
00:14:11,312 --> 00:14:13,792
- Mousse?
- You know, like a styling gel.
238
00:14:13,872 --> 00:14:15,792
Oh, no. I'm sorry, dear.
239
00:14:15,872 --> 00:14:19,032
But I do have a can
of this ozone-depleting spray.
240
00:14:19,112 --> 00:14:21,432
Hmm. My hair's real tricky.
241
00:14:21,472 --> 00:14:23,672
You just look at it wrong,
it lays down and dies.
242
00:14:23,752 --> 00:14:25,592
I think it looks perfectly fine.
243
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,392
- It's not what you got. It's what you do with it.
- I like that.
244
00:14:28,472 --> 00:14:31,152
- You've got nice hair.
- Thank you.
245
00:14:31,232 --> 00:14:34,072
Is it fussy?
I don't think so.
246
00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:36,832
- The cut's all wrong.
- Oh?
247
00:14:36,912 --> 00:14:40,632
You're an oval, like Debbie Gibson.
You need some fullness and height...
248
00:14:40,712 --> 00:14:43,552
to shorten the length of your face
and accent your cheekbones.
249
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:46,232
Oh, really?
Cut like so.
250
00:14:46,312 --> 00:14:48,952
Light body perm.
Maybe a mahogany highlight.
251
00:14:49,032 --> 00:14:51,952
Don't you think
that would do a lot for her?
252
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:55,192
Oh, that-that looks pretty good.
Are you-You're a professional?
253
00:14:55,232 --> 00:14:58,032
Mm-hmm. I have a degree from the
Saskatchewan College of Applied Arts.
254
00:14:58,112 --> 00:15:00,872
- You know it?
- Uh, I don't think so. Uh-uh.
255
00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:03,912
Well, I majored in hair,
and I had a minor in base application.
256
00:15:03,992 --> 00:15:06,072
You know, with you,
I wouldn't touch a thing.
257
00:15:06,152 --> 00:15:09,792
It fits his bone structure,
frames his face. Like Chris Robinson.
258
00:15:11,272 --> 00:15:14,072
Chris Robinson, Black Crowes.
259
00:15:14,152 --> 00:15:17,512
"Shake Your Moneymaker"?
"Hard to Handle"?
260
00:15:19,792 --> 00:15:21,592
I can't. I just- I can't.
261
00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:27,272
Fleischman, you eat sushi.
Not walrus sushi, I don't.
262
00:15:27,352 --> 00:15:29,192
If I cooked that,
it would turn to oil.
263
00:15:29,272 --> 00:15:32,232
It'd by like eating Crisco,
solid butter, a huge hunk of shmalts.
264
00:15:33,872 --> 00:15:38,392
Chicken fat. Jewish mayo. You spread it on bread
and die of a heart attack by the time you're 50.
265
00:15:38,432 --> 00:15:42,712
For your information, Fleischman, the fat and
blubber found in Arctic fish and maritime mammals...
266
00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:47,112
is completely chemically different than that
found in hamburgers, potato chips and Jewish mayo.
267
00:15:47,192 --> 00:15:50,952
In fact, it may actually help the Eskimo fight
heart disease and other southern afflictions.
268
00:15:51,032 --> 00:15:53,592
Look at it.
It's just lying there.
269
00:15:53,672 --> 00:15:56,912
Eat the spotted seal liver.
You can cook that.
270
00:15:56,952 --> 00:15:59,432
I can't. I just- I can't.
271
00:15:59,512 --> 00:16:01,552
Okay.
272
00:16:01,632 --> 00:16:03,992
Okay? What okay?
273
00:16:04,032 --> 00:16:07,032
Let's go.
274
00:16:07,112 --> 00:16:08,832
Go? Go where?
275
00:16:08,912 --> 00:16:10,912
Look around.
Look around for what?
276
00:16:10,992 --> 00:16:13,672
Well, water, for one thing.
We're almost completely out.
277
00:16:13,752 --> 00:16:15,832
You're walking into those woods?
You don't know what's out there.
278
00:16:15,912 --> 00:16:19,512
I have a gun. They don't know that.
They see us walking around there,
279
00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:21,632
they think we're with the Sierra Club
and that's a stick.
280
00:16:21,712 --> 00:16:23,352
- Who's they?
- I don't know.
281
00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:25,592
Wild animals.
White supremacists. Attack bugs.
282
00:16:25,672 --> 00:16:28,072
You're right, Fleischman.
You stay here.
283
00:16:28,152 --> 00:16:31,352
Wait. Wait!
284
00:16:31,432 --> 00:16:33,992
What if something unforeseen
should happen?
285
00:16:34,072 --> 00:16:35,952
Like what?
I don't know.
286
00:16:36,032 --> 00:16:39,072
Say, a moose with an attitude.
287
00:16:39,152 --> 00:16:41,912
You're absolutely right,
Fleischman. You're right.
288
00:16:41,952 --> 00:16:43,832
I am?
289
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,872
Here's a gun.
What am I supposed to do with it?
290
00:16:48,952 --> 00:16:50,792
Shoot the moose.
291
00:16:50,872 --> 00:16:53,632
Point of information, O'Connell:
I don't know how to fire a gun.
292
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:56,352
I don't know anything about guns.
293
00:16:57,592 --> 00:16:59,552
Look.
294
00:16:59,632 --> 00:17:03,352
This is the safety.
Take this off, aim and fire.
295
00:17:15,112 --> 00:17:16,912
Here's a whistle.
296
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:20,472
If you need anything, just blow.
I'll come. Hopefully, I'll be within range.
297
00:17:20,552 --> 00:17:23,352
Oh, I'll blow hard.
I'm sure you will.
298
00:17:25,792 --> 00:17:29,872
Now see how I do? I "shover" my
fingers right down into the hair.
299
00:17:29,952 --> 00:17:32,632
And up.
Shovering and up.
300
00:17:32,672 --> 00:17:36,112
Shovering and up.
"Balloonifying" the hair.
301
00:17:36,152 --> 00:17:39,672
Shovering and balloonifying.
Shovering and balloonifying.
302
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,752
See the body coming in?
303
00:17:41,832 --> 00:17:43,912
Well, will you look at that.
304
00:17:43,992 --> 00:17:46,632
Did I tell you that I'm the official
hairstylist for the Seals?
305
00:17:46,712 --> 00:17:48,952
- No.
- Wayne's hockey team.
306
00:17:49,032 --> 00:17:53,032
They're all really into rap. So we
started off with perms and buzzed sides.
307
00:17:53,112 --> 00:17:54,952
Except for Wayne.
He's the Ice Man.
308
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,712
Then they hit this eight-game
losing streak.
309
00:17:57,792 --> 00:18:00,832
I knew it was time to make
a statement, so I carved 'em.
310
00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:03,752
Carved their what, dear?
Their scalps.
311
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:05,672
She razor wrote.
312
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,312
And I wrote boldly too...
313
00:18:08,392 --> 00:18:12,272
until the league censors got wind of it and
started spot-checking their heads before each game.
314
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:15,312
I'll see you later.
Bye, Ed.
315
00:18:16,592 --> 00:18:18,672
Hi, Shelly.
Ed, what's going on?
316
00:18:18,712 --> 00:18:21,072
Cindy's giving Ruth-Anne
a makeover.
317
00:18:23,512 --> 00:18:25,472
Two gallons, not one.
318
00:18:25,552 --> 00:18:28,912
You got it. No, not that way.
Over there.
319
00:18:30,312 --> 00:18:32,352
Frank, how are ya?
320
00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:37,472
� Tiene esta camisa en azul?
321
00:18:37,552 --> 00:18:41,112
Do you have the shirt in blue?
Now you try.
322
00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:44,672
� Tiene esta camisa en azul?
323
00:18:44,752 --> 00:18:48,432
� Tiene usted mi tama�o en verde?
324
00:18:48,472 --> 00:18:50,672
Do you have my size in green?
325
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:54,592
Repeat. � Tiene usted
mi tama�o en verde?
326
00:18:54,672 --> 00:18:58,912
� Tiene usted mi tama�o en verde?
327
00:18:58,992 --> 00:19:02,232
Very good. Muy bien.
328
00:19:02,272 --> 00:19:06,032
Now let us cross to the
musical portion of our lesson.
329
00:19:06,072 --> 00:19:07,992
Be sure to sing along.
330
00:19:41,112 --> 00:19:44,432
God. Oh, God.
331
00:19:51,512 --> 00:19:54,832
What? What is it? What?
What? What happened? What?
332
00:19:54,912 --> 00:19:58,072
O'Connell.
Thank God it's you.
333
00:19:58,152 --> 00:20:01,032
- What's wrong?
- I thought you were a bear.
334
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:03,952
A bear?
You thought I was a bear?
335
00:20:04,032 --> 00:20:07,352
You know, you might as well just have called
every wild animal in the neighborhood.
336
00:20:07,392 --> 00:20:09,992
You should've just sent
an engraved invitation:
337
00:20:10,072 --> 00:20:12,792
"Come eat us.
No R.S.V.P. necessary."
338
00:20:14,912 --> 00:20:17,752
Bear. You thought I was a bear.!
339
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:25,992
Most people think Vaseline's just
for sex, but it's got lots more uses.
340
00:20:26,072 --> 00:20:28,792
Dry skin. Also the lips.
341
00:20:28,872 --> 00:20:31,792
If you rub a little bit into your
nails every night before you go to bed,
342
00:20:31,872 --> 00:20:33,912
you'll never have a problem
with cuticles.
343
00:20:33,992 --> 00:20:35,832
Okay.
And also...
344
00:20:35,912 --> 00:20:38,832
if you put a couple of drops on a
toothbrush, you can groom your eyebrows.
345
00:20:38,912 --> 00:20:41,112
Even comb them upward
for a more glamorous look.
346
00:20:41,192 --> 00:20:44,472
You've got great eyebrows.
Sort of like Paula Abdul.
347
00:20:44,552 --> 00:20:47,592
Okay. What do you think?
348
00:20:47,672 --> 00:20:50,992
They look nice.
What do you think you're doing?
349
00:20:51,072 --> 00:20:52,672
I'm giving Marilyn a "mani."
350
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:56,112
Yeah? Well, it's against
health codes, so cut it out.
351
00:20:58,552 --> 00:21:01,992
Shelly! I drive up here
almost 2,000 miles!
352
00:21:02,072 --> 00:21:05,832
Who asked you to? And all you
can talk about is health codes!
353
00:21:05,912 --> 00:21:09,352
If you don't mind,
I am trying to pee!
354
00:21:09,432 --> 00:21:13,352
What's your problem, Shelly? You've
had a bug up your butt since I got here!
355
00:21:13,432 --> 00:21:15,512
I'm mad, okay?
What?
356
00:21:15,592 --> 00:21:19,192
All right. You wanna know
why I've got a bug up my butt?
357
00:21:19,272 --> 00:21:23,992
It's because I'm mad!
M-A-D! Mad!
358
00:21:24,072 --> 00:21:27,512
At me? You see anybody
else in here to be mad at?
359
00:21:27,592 --> 00:21:32,352
Why? You come prancin' up here, and you
don't even call to warn me you're coming,
360
00:21:32,432 --> 00:21:36,592
and you don't even hardly look like you,
with your hair and your tight little buns,
361
00:21:36,632 --> 00:21:40,072
and you make me feel like
I don't even look like me anymore!
362
00:21:42,352 --> 00:21:44,672
Hello?
363
00:21:44,752 --> 00:21:48,712
We're busy.
Shelly? Cindy?
364
00:21:48,792 --> 00:21:51,592
Are you gals in there?
365
00:21:51,672 --> 00:21:53,792
Go away, Holling.
366
00:21:53,872 --> 00:21:58,072
Uh, there's a telephone call for Cindy.
367
00:21:58,112 --> 00:22:02,712
- For me? From who?
- Well, it's, uh- it's Wayne.
368
00:22:02,792 --> 00:22:06,392
Tell him we're taking a pee!
369
00:22:06,432 --> 00:22:08,512
Okay.
And, Holling,
370
00:22:08,592 --> 00:22:10,992
we need more T.P. in stall two.
371
00:22:11,072 --> 00:22:12,952
Okay.
372
00:22:16,392 --> 00:22:21,232
You know, Shel, growing up,
you were the girl that had it all.
373
00:22:21,272 --> 00:22:24,992
"D" cup, 17-inch thighs,
374
00:22:25,072 --> 00:22:29,272
perfect knees, teeth, nose.
375
00:22:29,352 --> 00:22:33,112
You were Saskatchewan's
answer to perfection.
376
00:22:33,192 --> 00:22:37,592
I know. It was really hard
being your best friend, Shelly.
377
00:22:38,952 --> 00:22:40,792
Why?
378
00:22:40,872 --> 00:22:44,712
'Cause I was always second-best.
Second-best Cindy.
379
00:22:44,792 --> 00:22:48,072
Well, you made
better grades than me, Cin.
380
00:22:48,152 --> 00:22:50,912
Yeah, sure. I made better grades,
381
00:22:50,992 --> 00:22:54,232
unless the teacher was a guy
who had the hots for you.
382
00:22:54,312 --> 00:22:57,992
I know. I went on to higher education,
and I know that means a lot.
383
00:22:58,072 --> 00:23:00,952
But do you have any idea how much pain...
384
00:23:01,032 --> 00:23:03,912
your perfect bottom put me through?
385
00:23:03,992 --> 00:23:08,552
- I swear, Cin. I had no idea.
- You couldn't read the signs?
386
00:23:09,672 --> 00:23:14,512
Look, I admit life has dealt me
a royal straight flush,
387
00:23:14,552 --> 00:23:17,752
but it hasn't been all perfect.
388
00:23:20,552 --> 00:23:24,712
- With perfection comes responsibility.
- What do you mean?
389
00:23:24,792 --> 00:23:29,232
Do you think it was easy living up
to your and everybody else's expectations?
390
00:23:29,312 --> 00:23:33,872
Always havin'to look bitchin',
walk bitchin', dress bitchin'.
391
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,592
Are my jeans too tight?
Are they not tight enough?
392
00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:38,872
Do my earrings and eyeliner match?
393
00:23:38,912 --> 00:23:40,912
Do my boobs bounce enough
but not too much?
394
00:23:40,992 --> 00:23:44,312
Are my boots as white as my teeth?
I mean, I had to set the example.
395
00:23:44,392 --> 00:23:48,152
And let me tell you-
being perfect really takes its toll.
396
00:23:48,232 --> 00:23:50,392
I never thought of it like that.
397
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,712
Nobody did.
398
00:23:52,792 --> 00:23:55,952
Nobody ever thought
to take time to think,
399
00:23:55,992 --> 00:23:59,712
"What about Shelly?
Is she all right?
400
00:23:59,792 --> 00:24:03,672
Can she carry it all
on her perfect shoulders?"
401
00:24:06,032 --> 00:24:08,952
Being perfect, Cin,
402
00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:11,872
is not all beer and roses.
403
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,872
Aw, Shel.
404
00:24:17,592 --> 00:24:20,152
I'm sorry.
405
00:24:20,232 --> 00:24:22,832
I'm hungry.
The children are hungry.
406
00:24:22,872 --> 00:24:26,832
We haven't had anything to eat but boiled
tree leaves for the past three months.
407
00:24:26,912 --> 00:24:29,392
Just one more second.
408
00:24:29,432 --> 00:24:33,432
I'm in this cave- this cave surrounded
by mastodons- and I'm eating bark.
409
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:36,472
- Okay. It's done.
- What is that supposed to be?
410
00:24:36,552 --> 00:24:39,632
- That's a hamburger.
- That is not a hamburger, Fleischman.
411
00:24:39,672 --> 00:24:42,392
The bun is too big.
There are no sesame seeds.
412
00:24:42,472 --> 00:24:44,872
And would you mind telling me
where the sliced onions are?
413
00:24:44,952 --> 00:24:47,512
- l-I forgot. - I should have
married the stud with the big club.
414
00:24:47,552 --> 00:24:49,432
He was crazy about me.
415
00:24:49,472 --> 00:24:52,432
Oh, the guy with the huge quads
and the sloping forehead?
416
00:24:52,512 --> 00:24:55,312
Yeah, well, at least he put a stegosaurus
on the table every night.
417
00:24:55,352 --> 00:24:57,152
I'm just no good at killing.
418
00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:04,992
Okay, will you take her?
Thank you.
419
00:25:06,552 --> 00:25:10,032
Okay, so you're a lousy killer.
420
00:25:10,112 --> 00:25:12,672
The truth of it is...
421
00:25:12,752 --> 00:25:17,472
I didn't have all these little mini Magnons
with you because of your slaying power.
422
00:25:17,552 --> 00:25:19,792
No?
Mm-mmm.
423
00:25:19,832 --> 00:25:22,112
Don't you get it?
424
00:25:22,192 --> 00:25:24,032
What?
425
00:25:24,112 --> 00:25:27,112
I don't care if I ever have
saut�ed iguana again,
426
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,032
as long as-
427
00:25:30,752 --> 00:25:33,632
What?
Well, you know.
428
00:25:49,152 --> 00:25:51,512
Hey.
429
00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:55,352
- Hope I'm not disturbing you.
- No. Uh, what are you doing out this late, Holling?
430
00:25:55,392 --> 00:26:00,632
- Oh, just walking.
- Something on your mind, Holling?
431
00:26:00,712 --> 00:26:04,792
With me? No, nothing.
Just... nothing, really.
432
00:26:06,712 --> 00:26:11,352
Chris, do you ever think anything
about me and, uh, Shelly?
433
00:26:11,432 --> 00:26:13,832
You're some of my favorite people,
Holling. You know that.
434
00:26:13,912 --> 00:26:17,752
No, not that. I mean about
the difference in our ages.
435
00:26:17,832 --> 00:26:20,952
You mean, like, uh, you're
old enough to be her grandfather?
436
00:26:20,992 --> 00:26:23,272
Yeah.
437
00:26:23,352 --> 00:26:25,312
- You ever think about that?
- No.
438
00:26:25,392 --> 00:26:28,592
I'm 63 years old, Chris,
439
00:26:28,632 --> 00:26:32,192
way more than 40 years
older than Shelly,
440
00:26:32,272 --> 00:26:36,352
and what with the longevity
of the males in my family,
441
00:26:36,432 --> 00:26:39,512
I never really gave it much
consideration as far as a problem.
442
00:26:39,592 --> 00:26:42,712
Problem? Unless fate intervenes, you're gonna
be keeping Shelly company a good long time.
443
00:26:42,752 --> 00:26:45,912
Yeah. It's just that...
444
00:26:47,912 --> 00:26:53,512
lately I've been seeing Shelly
in a different light.
445
00:26:53,592 --> 00:26:58,752
And, uh, to tell you the truth,
I've started to wonder...
446
00:26:58,832 --> 00:27:04,392
if there isn't something unseemly
about our love.
447
00:27:05,632 --> 00:27:07,552
I don't think it's unseemly, Holling.
448
00:27:07,632 --> 00:27:11,832
- No? Really, Chris? You don't?
- No, I don't.
449
00:27:11,872 --> 00:27:15,912
I mean, personally, I don't believe
in chronological age for one thing, Holling,
450
00:27:15,992 --> 00:27:20,512
and for another, Shelly could have an
old soul, and you could have a young soul.
451
00:27:20,592 --> 00:27:22,912
In fact, she could be
much older than you.
452
00:27:22,992 --> 00:27:26,312
You know, history's crawling
with May-December romances.
453
00:27:26,392 --> 00:27:28,912
Strom Thurmond.
Guy's a U.S. senator.
454
00:27:28,952 --> 00:27:32,192
Uh, Supreme CourtJustice
William O. Douglas.
455
00:27:32,272 --> 00:27:36,032
Charlie Chaplin, Fred Astaire,
uh, Jerry Lee Lewis.
456
00:27:36,112 --> 00:27:39,392
- The Nutty Professor.
- No, Jerry Lee Lewis. "Great Balls of Fire"?
457
00:27:39,472 --> 00:27:42,072
Oh, yeah. You mean-
458
00:27:42,152 --> 00:27:43,832
- Right.
- Yeah.
459
00:27:43,872 --> 00:27:45,832
His wife was 13.
460
00:27:47,272 --> 00:27:49,112
Thirteen?
461
00:27:50,872 --> 00:27:54,392
I don't know.
The hoses are intact.
462
00:27:54,472 --> 00:27:57,792
The carburetor's fine.
The spark plugs check out.
463
00:27:57,872 --> 00:27:59,992
I thought you said
it was the engine.
464
00:28:00,032 --> 00:28:04,072
Well, it probably is, but,
you know, it could be a bearing.
465
00:28:04,152 --> 00:28:07,272
It could be a blown gasket.
But there's no oil.
466
00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:10,272
You know, I was just hoping
it was something fixable.
467
00:28:10,352 --> 00:28:12,192
It could be a ring job,
468
00:28:12,272 --> 00:28:14,832
but I'm not prepared to do that
in the middle of the woods.
469
00:28:14,872 --> 00:28:16,752
A ring job?
470
00:28:16,792 --> 00:28:18,832
Forget it, Fleischman.
471
00:28:18,872 --> 00:28:21,112
This is the engine, right?
472
00:28:21,152 --> 00:28:23,152
Oh, Fleischman, please.
473
00:28:23,192 --> 00:28:25,072
Now, does this have valves?
474
00:28:25,112 --> 00:28:27,872
Well, of course it has valves.
It's an engine.
475
00:28:27,952 --> 00:28:30,272
Just stop hovering, okay?
476
00:28:32,232 --> 00:28:35,512
What do you expect me to do, O'Connell?
Stand idly by and starve to death?
477
00:28:35,592 --> 00:28:37,552
Your choice.
478
00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:40,272
I can't eat that stuff.
I told you. I tried.
479
00:28:40,312 --> 00:28:42,832
The more I chewed,
the bigger it got in my mouth.
480
00:28:42,912 --> 00:28:45,512
I'm not meant to eat blubber.
I'm from New York City.
481
00:28:45,592 --> 00:28:48,432
People from New York City
are not conditioned to eat blubber.
482
00:28:48,472 --> 00:28:51,192
Not spotted seal liver,
not-not walrus fat,
483
00:28:51,232 --> 00:28:54,192
not dried fish shards and not-
especially not blubber.
484
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:56,152
That's it. I've had it.
What?
485
00:28:56,232 --> 00:28:59,392
I am sick and tired of your blubbering about
blubber! Sick and tired! Fed up to here!
486
00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,832
- What are you doing?
- Going hunting.
487
00:29:01,912 --> 00:29:04,392
Hunting?
Yes. I'm gonna kill us some meat.
488
00:29:04,472 --> 00:29:06,352
Meat? Really?
Can you do that?
489
00:29:06,392 --> 00:29:09,232
Don't go anywhere near my plane.
Don't touch a thing.
490
00:29:09,272 --> 00:29:11,632
Fine. No problem.
And try to stay away from the fire.
491
00:29:11,672 --> 00:29:15,272
Can you not smother it this time? Huh?
Do you think you can do that, Fleischman?
492
00:29:17,272 --> 00:29:19,152
Hey, Chris.
493
00:29:19,192 --> 00:29:21,272
Hey, Shel. How you doing?
494
00:29:21,352 --> 00:29:23,792
This is Cindy.
She's my best friend from home.
495
00:29:23,872 --> 00:29:26,112
Really? Hi, Cindy.
Nice to meet you.
496
00:29:26,192 --> 00:29:29,192
Hair's kinda stringy.
Needs some body.
497
00:29:29,272 --> 00:29:32,312
Chris, I need to talk
to you for a minute.
498
00:29:32,352 --> 00:29:34,232
Okay. What's up?
499
00:29:34,272 --> 00:29:37,632
Well, I've decided
to get divorced.
500
00:29:37,712 --> 00:29:40,112
From Wayne.
501
00:29:40,152 --> 00:29:42,312
Oh. All right.
502
00:29:42,392 --> 00:29:46,632
And l-Well, we want you
to perform the divorce.
503
00:29:46,712 --> 00:29:48,632
- Me?
- Yeah.
504
00:29:48,712 --> 00:29:52,312
- Perform a divorce?
- Yeah.
505
00:29:54,192 --> 00:29:57,472
- Uh, I can't.
- Why not?
506
00:29:57,552 --> 00:30:02,952
Well, Shel, a divorce isn't performed.
It's handled, you know, by a lawyer.
507
00:30:03,032 --> 00:30:05,072
But you do marriages.
508
00:30:05,152 --> 00:30:07,112
Yeah.
509
00:30:07,192 --> 00:30:11,512
So if you can glue two people together,
how come you can't break 'em apart?
510
00:30:12,592 --> 00:30:15,072
Well, you know,
it's not the same thing.
511
00:30:15,152 --> 00:30:19,472
Well, I know it isn't,
but, um, it's not that different.
512
00:30:22,112 --> 00:30:25,952
- You're right. Okay.
- Hey, all right!
513
00:30:27,432 --> 00:30:29,992
You haven't said anything,
Fleischman, in a whole minute.
514
00:30:30,072 --> 00:30:32,152
It's beginning
to give me the creeps.
515
00:30:32,232 --> 00:30:36,152
It's just-
You know, that's a squirrel.
516
00:30:36,232 --> 00:30:39,632
I used to feed these things
peanuts in the park.
517
00:30:39,672 --> 00:30:41,912
I made eye contact
with squirrels.
518
00:30:41,992 --> 00:30:43,912
I love people like you.
519
00:30:43,992 --> 00:30:47,032
You'll eat meat and chicken,
but get a little blood on your hands-
520
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:50,752
Oh, I'm grateful. I am.
I mean, I'm impressed.
521
00:30:50,832 --> 00:30:53,272
You said you were gonna get some meat.
You went out in the woods.
522
00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:55,552
Came back with some meat.
523
00:30:55,632 --> 00:30:58,632
Is that a compliment
or some sort of trick?
524
00:30:58,712 --> 00:31:02,232
No. l-I could've lived without
the part where you skinned it.
525
00:31:02,272 --> 00:31:07,632
It's like you were taking a little
fur jacket off of a tiny baby.
526
00:31:07,712 --> 00:31:10,872
You know, it is kind of like
a baby's jacket.
527
00:31:10,952 --> 00:31:12,792
But without the zipper.
528
00:31:12,872 --> 00:31:16,632
You were pretty deft with that knife. Remind
me not to aggravate you when you're armed.
529
00:31:19,552 --> 00:31:21,912
That's startin' to smell
pretty good, isn't it?
530
00:31:21,952 --> 00:31:24,232
Mm-hmm.
Done yet?
531
00:31:24,312 --> 00:31:26,192
A few more minutes.
532
00:31:26,272 --> 00:31:31,152
I'm drooling. I'm salivating
and drooling over a squirrel.
533
00:31:33,312 --> 00:31:36,152
I used to want to be a chef.
Really?
534
00:31:36,192 --> 00:31:39,832
Mm-hmm. Well, not really
a chef. More like a baker.
535
00:31:39,872 --> 00:31:43,592
But not desserts. Just bread.
Really good bread.
536
00:31:43,672 --> 00:31:47,032
Baguettes,
little rye currant rolls...
537
00:31:47,112 --> 00:31:50,072
like you get at the Poil�ne Bakery
on the Rue de la Cherche Midi.
538
00:31:50,152 --> 00:31:52,392
In Paris.
Mm.
539
00:31:52,472 --> 00:31:54,952
What happened?
What do you mean, what happened?
540
00:31:55,032 --> 00:31:57,272
To-To being a baker.
541
00:31:59,112 --> 00:32:01,792
Oh, I don't know.
Didn't you ever want to be something?
542
00:32:01,872 --> 00:32:06,232
Center fielder for the Yankees.
Yes. Before Steinbrenner.
543
00:32:08,752 --> 00:32:13,192
You know, um,
if they don't find us here,
544
00:32:13,272 --> 00:32:15,952
and, uh, we starve to death,
545
00:32:15,992 --> 00:32:18,272
I want you to know
you can eat my body.
546
00:32:18,352 --> 00:32:21,032
Okay. Yeah, well, you don't
have to agree that fast.
547
00:32:21,112 --> 00:32:25,312
I hope you at least wait till I'm dead
before you start with your carving skills.
548
00:32:27,792 --> 00:32:29,632
What?
549
00:32:29,712 --> 00:32:31,552
Nothing.
550
00:32:33,352 --> 00:32:35,632
Well, I'm just beginning to think...
551
00:32:35,672 --> 00:32:37,952
maybe we shouldn't wait
for someone to come and find us.
552
00:32:38,032 --> 00:32:40,312
I think after we eat,
I'm gonna pack out east...
553
00:32:40,392 --> 00:32:43,192
and see if I can find a way
for us to get out.
554
00:32:51,432 --> 00:32:54,072
Used to be when people
took the marriage vow,
555
00:32:54,112 --> 00:32:56,712
"till death do us part"
meant just that.
556
00:32:56,792 --> 00:32:59,512
But these days, as often as not,
people take a look at each other...
557
00:32:59,592 --> 00:33:03,672
after a few years in the marital sack
and say, "See you later, Jack."
558
00:33:03,712 --> 00:33:06,872
Maybe that's good.
I mean, wolves mate for life,
559
00:33:06,952 --> 00:33:09,112
but the human species
lives a lot longer.
560
00:33:09,152 --> 00:33:12,592
Maybe just too long
to be hitched to the same post. So-
561
00:33:12,632 --> 00:33:17,232
The views of this deejay are not necessarily
those of the owner of this station.
562
00:33:19,192 --> 00:33:22,352
Well, individual opinion aside,
divorce looks like it's here to stay.
563
00:33:22,392 --> 00:33:26,672
So instead of seeing it
as a failure or an end,
564
00:33:26,752 --> 00:33:30,672
why not celebrate divorce
as the beginning of something?
565
00:33:30,712 --> 00:33:34,472
A fresh start. Another chance to step up
to the big wheel and take another spin.
566
00:33:34,552 --> 00:33:36,392
Like Swami Bodhidharma says,
567
00:33:36,472 --> 00:33:39,472
"You can't really have a thing
until you let it go. '"
568
00:33:39,552 --> 00:33:44,032
In other words,
when things start to look really bad,
569
00:33:44,112 --> 00:33:48,112
why not step back
and have another look at 'em?
570
00:33:48,152 --> 00:33:50,432
So we're here today
to celebrate the divorce...
571
00:33:50,512 --> 00:33:54,072
of a young couple who probably
got married a little too young,
572
00:33:54,152 --> 00:33:56,512
before they really knew
what they were doing,
573
00:33:56,592 --> 00:33:58,472
and then realized
they'd made a horrible mistake.
574
00:33:58,552 --> 00:34:00,872
Hey, Wayne, you still out there?
Yeah, I'm here.
575
00:34:00,952 --> 00:34:04,632
We got WayneJones on the line here
all the way from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.
576
00:34:04,712 --> 00:34:07,192
Wayne's the starting left wing
for the Saskatoon Seals.
577
00:34:07,272 --> 00:34:10,552
And in studio we have his
soon-to-be ex-wife, Miss Shelly Tambo.
578
00:34:10,632 --> 00:34:12,592
Hey, Chris in the Morning?
Yeah Wayne-o.
579
00:34:12,672 --> 00:34:16,312
You said I could say hey to the guys
at Keticut Motor Oil?
580
00:34:16,352 --> 00:34:18,672
'Cause, you know,
they sponsor the Seals.
581
00:34:18,712 --> 00:34:21,192
That's right, Wayne. Go ahead.
Hey, guys.
582
00:34:21,272 --> 00:34:25,312
All right. Hey, Shel, you want to come
up here and have a sit at the mike.
583
00:34:25,392 --> 00:34:29,552
Why don't you go ahead and say hi
to the folks back home, Shel.
584
00:34:29,592 --> 00:34:32,792
Hi, everybody.
585
00:34:32,832 --> 00:34:35,032
Okay.
586
00:34:35,072 --> 00:34:37,632
Shelly, Wayne,
587
00:34:37,712 --> 00:34:40,432
you got married a couple of years ago,
and it didn't work out.
588
00:34:40,472 --> 00:34:43,112
But that's okay, you know?
You got your whole life ahead of you.
589
00:34:43,192 --> 00:34:46,072
You've found other people
to hook up with.
590
00:34:46,152 --> 00:34:49,432
Wayne, is there anything you'd like to
say to Shelly before I remove the cuffs?
591
00:34:49,512 --> 00:34:51,392
Shelly? Are you there?
592
00:34:51,472 --> 00:34:53,512
Yeah. I'm here.
593
00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:55,552
Are you sure about this?
594
00:34:55,632 --> 00:34:58,232
Of course I am.
Don't be stupid, Wayne.
595
00:34:58,312 --> 00:35:02,752
Anyway, you already went and got married
again, so what difference does it make?
596
00:35:02,832 --> 00:35:05,512
You just better be nicer to Cindy
than you were to me.
597
00:35:05,592 --> 00:35:08,832
Okay.
Cindy? Cindy, you there?
598
00:35:08,912 --> 00:35:10,752
Hi, Wayne.
599
00:35:10,832 --> 00:35:13,032
How's the truck?
600
00:35:13,112 --> 00:35:16,192
It had an oil leak.
Damn, Cin.!
601
00:35:16,272 --> 00:35:18,872
You make sure you add a couple quarts
in there before you head back.
602
00:35:18,952 --> 00:35:21,352
And I don't want to see one scratch on that
- Okay, Wayne.
603
00:35:21,432 --> 00:35:24,232
What do you say we just
go ahead and do this?
604
00:35:24,312 --> 00:35:28,712
Shelly Tambo, do you un-take WayneJones
as your lawfully wedded husband?
605
00:35:34,112 --> 00:35:37,272
- I do.
- Do you, WayneJones,
606
00:35:37,352 --> 00:35:40,392
un-take Shelly Tambo
as your lawfully wedded wife?
607
00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:42,512
Yeah. I guess.
608
00:35:42,592 --> 00:35:44,952
Well, then, by the power
invested in me to marry,
609
00:35:44,992 --> 00:35:47,472
I hereby undo what another
brother of the cloth has done.
610
00:35:47,552 --> 00:35:49,432
Happy divorce, everybody.
Congratulations.
611
00:35:49,472 --> 00:35:51,352
Thanks.
Thanks, Chris.
612
00:35:51,392 --> 00:35:53,672
No problem, Shelly. Wayne,
you there? Hang on a sec, hon.
613
00:35:53,752 --> 00:35:55,672
Shelly, congratulations.
614
00:35:55,752 --> 00:35:58,632
If Wayne and I ever decide
to untie the knot, I hope it's as cool.
615
00:35:58,712 --> 00:36:00,552
Thanks, Cin.
616
00:36:00,632 --> 00:36:02,992
Fleischman, you're never
gonna believe what happened.
617
00:36:03,072 --> 00:36:05,672
I saw this shack, and
I couldn't tell it was abandoned.
618
00:36:05,752 --> 00:36:09,752
So I started running towards it,
and then I fell into this sinkhole.
619
00:36:09,792 --> 00:36:11,672
Fleischman?
620
00:36:13,752 --> 00:36:15,312
Fleischman,
what do you think you're doing?
621
00:36:15,352 --> 00:36:18,112
Just a little exploratory surgery.
622
00:36:18,192 --> 00:36:20,952
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What do you think you're doing?
623
00:36:20,992 --> 00:36:24,632
Get away from the airplane!
It's only an engine, O'Connell.
624
00:36:24,712 --> 00:36:27,352
Actually, it's not
unlike the human heart.
625
00:36:27,392 --> 00:36:29,992
Did you tamper with my engine,
Fleischman? Did you?
626
00:36:30,072 --> 00:36:33,552
Did you tamper with my airplane?
You tampered with my engine!
627
00:36:33,592 --> 00:36:35,712
Fleischman, this is my engine!
628
00:36:35,792 --> 00:36:39,072
I just
- I took off this thing. That's all. What thing?
629
00:36:39,152 --> 00:36:42,072
The intake rudder?
You took it off?
630
00:36:45,632 --> 00:36:47,872
I, uh, kind of took this off
as well, but-
631
00:36:47,952 --> 00:36:50,432
The valve cover? Give me it!
632
00:36:50,512 --> 00:36:54,072
The thing is, the valve seemed stuck. It had
this gunk on it like a pulmonary stenosis.
633
00:36:54,152 --> 00:36:57,832
Give me that! The heart has a valve. It gets
stuck, and the blood doesn't move forward.
634
00:36:57,912 --> 00:37:01,912
It gets backed up, and then you have a
major problem, hence, our situation here.
635
00:37:01,992 --> 00:37:03,832
Fleischman, this is my plane.
636
00:37:03,912 --> 00:37:07,872
This is my private,
personally private-owned plane.
637
00:37:07,952 --> 00:37:11,552
It doesn't work, O'Connell. What exactly did
you think I was gonna do? Make it not work worse?
638
00:37:11,632 --> 00:37:13,912
Don't say anything.
Just don't say a word.
639
00:37:13,992 --> 00:37:17,152
- At least you can try and start it up.
- You've gotta be kidding.
640
00:37:17,232 --> 00:37:20,392
The thing was stuck.
Now it's not stuck. Maybe it works.
641
00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:22,152
Moron.
642
00:37:24,112 --> 00:37:26,072
Come on. Give it a try.
643
00:37:26,152 --> 00:37:29,072
Come on, O'Connell.
644
00:37:34,712 --> 00:37:37,232
Easy on the clutch.
645
00:37:39,112 --> 00:37:40,472
Don't flood it.
646
00:37:43,112 --> 00:37:45,632
Nothing.
647
00:37:45,712 --> 00:37:47,872
Happy, Fleischman?
648
00:37:47,952 --> 00:37:50,432
I don't understand.
It should work.
649
00:37:50,512 --> 00:37:53,272
Wait. Look. Hey, hey, look.
O'Connell!
650
00:37:53,312 --> 00:37:57,712
I disconnected this thing here.
It goes to the battery. Hold on.
651
00:37:59,312 --> 00:38:02,552
All righty! Fire it up!
652
00:38:02,632 --> 00:38:05,272
Yeah!
653
00:38:05,312 --> 00:38:07,272
Contact.!
654
00:38:11,152 --> 00:38:13,512
You did it. You did it!
655
00:38:13,592 --> 00:38:16,192
Yeah! Let's go home!
656
00:38:16,272 --> 00:38:19,352
Yeah! I did it! Me!
657
00:38:19,432 --> 00:38:24,392
What do you suppose Shelly and, uh,
her friend there are talking about?
658
00:38:25,912 --> 00:38:27,792
Oh, I don't know.
659
00:38:27,832 --> 00:38:31,752
I suppose they're talkin'
about clothes and boys and-
660
00:38:31,832 --> 00:38:33,672
and clothes.
661
00:38:34,992 --> 00:38:37,432
Nice girl, what's-her-name.
662
00:38:37,512 --> 00:38:41,872
She was down there at the Miss Northwest
Passage with Shelly. Fixed her hair.
663
00:38:41,952 --> 00:38:45,392
Old friends are nice, aren't they?
664
00:38:47,392 --> 00:38:50,432
Did a nice job, as I recall.
665
00:38:51,832 --> 00:38:53,872
But, you know,
to tell you the truth,
666
00:38:55,232 --> 00:38:58,712
I didn't hardly notice her
at all... then.
667
00:38:58,792 --> 00:39:01,672
God! Wayne and his dumb tapes.
668
00:39:01,752 --> 00:39:05,192
Poison, Motley Crue, Aerosmith!
Yeah, I know.
669
00:39:05,272 --> 00:39:08,632
I mean, there's so much going on today,
and he's living in the past.
670
00:39:08,712 --> 00:39:13,032
Yeah. I mean, Steven Tyler's cute,
but my God, he's almost 40.
671
00:39:13,112 --> 00:39:16,672
I'm sorry.
672
00:39:16,752 --> 00:39:19,352
Oh, no big deal.
673
00:39:19,432 --> 00:39:22,552
Holling's old,
but he's got a motor on him.
674
00:39:22,592 --> 00:39:26,152
- You better tell Wayne
to get some new tires.
675
00:39:26,232 --> 00:39:29,352
These are bald.
I got a spare.
676
00:39:29,432 --> 00:39:34,152
Hey, girls. Protein conditioner,
then sculpting foam.
677
00:39:34,232 --> 00:39:36,232
You got it, Cindy.
678
00:39:37,272 --> 00:39:42,192
Boys. They are kinda cute.
679
00:39:42,272 --> 00:39:45,312
Yeah.
680
00:39:47,032 --> 00:39:50,352
- You got the tuna sandwiches?
- Yeah.
681
00:39:55,912 --> 00:39:58,752
- Okay.
- Okay.
682
00:40:00,312 --> 00:40:02,152
Love ya.
683
00:40:12,192 --> 00:40:15,992
- See ya.
- Not if I see you first.
684
00:40:48,192 --> 00:40:51,552
Shel, maybe we should plan
a trip to Saskatoon.
685
00:40:51,632 --> 00:40:56,072
- What for?
- Well, you could see Cindy and your old gang.
686
00:40:58,432 --> 00:41:02,712
Mm. I don't know.
The Seals are playing Edmonton.
687
00:41:02,792 --> 00:41:05,432
Cindy's gonna send me
a pair of socks from the mall.
688
00:41:05,512 --> 00:41:08,992
- Is that right?
- It's the biggest mall in the world, you know.
689
00:41:09,072 --> 00:41:12,992
They have this whole store
that sells nothing but socks.
690
00:41:13,072 --> 00:41:15,872
You know, Shelly, honey,
691
00:41:15,952 --> 00:41:19,072
you don't have to stay here
in Cicely if you don't want to.
692
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:25,752
Oh, great. First my husband marries somebody
else, and now you don't want me either.
693
00:41:25,832 --> 00:41:29,352
Shelly, I didn't-
I didn't mean that at all.
694
00:41:30,592 --> 00:41:32,512
No?
No.
695
00:41:32,592 --> 00:41:36,512
I just want you to know that
I wouldn't want to stand in the way...
696
00:41:36,592 --> 00:41:39,272
if it would make you feel better
to be with your friends.
697
00:41:41,792 --> 00:41:43,672
Why would I want to do that?
698
00:41:43,712 --> 00:41:46,072
Well, they've been your friends
for a long time.
699
00:41:48,912 --> 00:41:54,272
A very long time.
Since we were kids.
700
00:41:54,352 --> 00:41:58,072
Might be more fun for you
to be with people your own age.
701
00:41:58,112 --> 00:42:01,712
All the parties
and the dancing and such.
702
00:42:03,832 --> 00:42:06,352
Well, that's stuff s okay.
703
00:42:09,792 --> 00:42:11,952
I do miss it sometimes.
704
00:42:14,952 --> 00:42:19,112
But- But I'd rather be here with you.
705
00:42:19,192 --> 00:42:22,792
You would?
Mm-hmm.
706
00:42:24,152 --> 00:42:29,072
Shelly, I'm sorry
if I make you feel old.
707
00:42:31,352 --> 00:42:33,832
Don't sweat it, babe.
708
00:42:33,912 --> 00:42:35,752
From now on,
709
00:42:38,272 --> 00:42:40,232
I'm making you young.
710
00:42:40,697 --> 00:42:47,075
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00:42:47,125 --> 00:42:51,675
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