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1
00:00:01,591 --> 00:00:03,392
(GROANING)
2
00:00:03,393 --> 00:00:04,827
Hey!
3
00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:06,929
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
4
00:00:06,930 --> 00:00:09,398
Oh, just stretching my groin.
5
00:00:09,399 --> 00:00:10,833
Was thinking maybe I'd hit it.
6
00:00:10,834 --> 00:00:13,569
Oh, um...
7
00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:15,270
well, I need to get going to work,
8
00:00:15,271 --> 00:00:17,606
but if it's quick...
9
00:00:17,607 --> 00:00:18,974
No, I was gonna hit the road.
10
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:21,443
I-I'm finished stretching.
I was gonna ride my bike.
11
00:00:21,444 --> 00:00:25,047
Yeah, totally.
I... knew that's what you meant.
12
00:00:25,048 --> 00:00:26,815
Um, I brought you some banana bread.
13
00:00:26,816 --> 00:00:28,016
- Oh.
- Yeah.
14
00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:29,852
Lois and I baked it as a thank-you
15
00:00:29,853 --> 00:00:31,053
for baby-sitting the other night.
16
00:00:31,054 --> 00:00:32,855
Wow. That's, uh...
17
00:00:32,856 --> 00:00:35,257
That's so nice.
18
00:00:35,258 --> 00:00:38,160
You're not gonna eat it,
are you, 'cause of the gluten?
19
00:00:38,161 --> 00:00:39,828
And the refined carbs.
20
00:00:39,829 --> 00:00:42,731
Tell Lois I ate it
and it was delicious.
21
00:00:42,732 --> 00:00:43,999
- What's that?
- Oh!
22
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,034
Uh, this was on your doorstep
from CAA.
23
00:00:46,035 --> 00:00:48,270
- Mmm.
- Oh, yeah.
24
00:00:48,271 --> 00:00:49,405
I think I know what this is.
25
00:00:49,406 --> 00:00:51,173
I-I was offered the lead in a sitcom.
26
00:00:51,174 --> 00:00:53,308
Shut up! That's amazing!
27
00:00:53,309 --> 00:00:54,810
What's it about?
28
00:00:54,811 --> 00:00:56,545
No idea. Hadn't read it.
29
00:00:56,546 --> 00:00:57,880
Uh, well, would it shoot here or...
30
00:00:57,881 --> 00:00:59,681
Yeah, I think so, but I don't know
31
00:00:59,682 --> 00:01:01,316
if I want to do another show.
32
00:01:01,317 --> 00:01:02,751
'Cause then, you know,
if it's successful,
33
00:01:02,752 --> 00:01:04,386
then I'm stuck doing that for years.
34
00:01:04,387 --> 00:01:07,055
What's wrong with that?
We'd both be working on shows.
35
00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:08,590
I mean, we'd have the same hours.
36
00:01:08,591 --> 00:01:11,059
If we filmed on the same lot,
37
00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:13,162
we could drive to work together.
38
00:01:13,163 --> 00:01:14,763
And you'd be here in L.A.
39
00:01:14,764 --> 00:01:16,064
Why do you want me in L.A.?
40
00:01:16,065 --> 00:01:17,433
You know.
41
00:01:17,434 --> 00:01:20,002
'Cause we're...
42
00:01:20,003 --> 00:01:22,337
Dating?
43
00:01:22,338 --> 00:01:23,572
Yeah, dating.
44
00:01:23,573 --> 00:01:25,374
And...
45
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:27,876
You're falling in love with me?
46
00:01:27,877 --> 00:01:29,278
I don't know.
47
00:01:29,279 --> 00:01:32,481
Are you... falling in love with me?
48
00:01:32,482 --> 00:01:36,051
I think I know. I think I know, yeah.
49
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:38,253
What are you doing?
Well, you've convinced me.
50
00:01:38,254 --> 00:01:40,055
Calling my agent. I'm gonna do it.
51
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:41,451
But I thought you said
you hadn't read it.
52
00:01:41,452 --> 00:01:42,324
That doesn't help me.
53
00:01:42,325 --> 00:01:43,692
I read the pilot script
for "Breaking Bad"
54
00:01:43,693 --> 00:01:46,028
and I passed on it,
so what the hell do I know?
55
00:01:46,029 --> 00:01:48,062
But you read it.
Tell me what you think.
56
00:01:49,799 --> 00:01:51,266
It's Mark-Paul for Marcy.
57
00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:52,934
Is she in?
58
00:01:55,605 --> 00:01:56,705
Marcy!
59
00:01:56,706 --> 00:01:59,708
(MARK-PAUL CHUCKLING) I'm in!
60
00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:01,909
- Let's do it.
- Oh...
61
00:02:03,947 --> 00:02:05,380
So does this mean they were never
62
00:02:05,381 --> 00:02:06,582
really considering Larry for the part?
63
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:09,685
I don't... Mark-Paul's agent
said CBS wants a name.
64
00:02:09,686 --> 00:02:12,087
Anyone who's name is not Larry Dorf.
65
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,156
- Will you tell him?
- Why would I tell him?
66
00:02:14,157 --> 00:02:17,925
- Your boyfriend took his part.
- He didn't do it on purpose!
67
00:02:19,362 --> 00:02:22,764
Mark-Paul Gosselaar? As Larry Dorf?
68
00:02:22,765 --> 00:02:26,368
I mean, has there been
a greater miscasting
69
00:02:26,369 --> 00:02:29,905
in the history of miscasting?
70
00:02:29,906 --> 00:02:32,541
Mark-Paul Gosselaar is, like,
six-feet and good-looking.
71
00:02:32,542 --> 00:02:33,976
Great-looking.
72
00:02:33,977 --> 00:02:36,645
And I think he's 6'1",
but I'll look it up.
73
00:02:36,646 --> 00:02:38,413
(PHONE KEYPAD TICKING)
74
00:02:38,414 --> 00:02:40,549
He's not any taller than I am.
75
00:02:40,550 --> 00:02:43,118
Well, very good-looking people
appear taller.
76
00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:45,187
- BOTH: Aah!
- Oh!
77
00:02:45,188 --> 00:02:47,256
Jesus! What are you doing?
78
00:02:47,257 --> 00:02:49,458
Sorry. Oh, my God.
79
00:02:49,459 --> 00:02:51,627
The AC is on a timer or something
80
00:02:51,628 --> 00:02:54,229
and I... it just got so hot,
I couldn't sleep.
81
00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:55,797
Why were you sleeping here?
82
00:02:55,798 --> 00:02:57,432
Jen and I got in a huge fight.
83
00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:58,867
She kicked me out of the house.
84
00:02:58,868 --> 00:03:00,469
She was at the table read.
85
00:03:00,470 --> 00:03:02,671
I don't even know how
she knew about that!
86
00:03:02,672 --> 00:03:04,473
Well, why didn't you go to a hotel?
87
00:03:04,474 --> 00:03:07,175
Because I kept thinking that Jen
was gonna call me and say,
88
00:03:07,176 --> 00:03:10,112
"This is stupid. Come home,"
but she never did.
89
00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:12,114
I mean, I get that she's mad,
but what,
90
00:03:12,115 --> 00:03:13,448
does she want a divorce
'cause I called her
91
00:03:13,449 --> 00:03:15,450
a harried housewife in a script?
92
00:03:15,451 --> 00:03:19,621
I mean, am I crazy?
This is a giant overreaction.
93
00:03:19,622 --> 00:03:21,390
Is there something I'm missing?
94
00:03:21,391 --> 00:03:23,125
(WHISPERING) Schnitman!
95
00:03:23,126 --> 00:03:24,826
- What?
- What?
96
00:03:24,827 --> 00:03:26,128
Our pediatrician?
97
00:03:26,129 --> 00:03:28,030
- What?
- You just said, "Schnitman."
98
00:03:28,031 --> 00:03:29,331
That's the name of my pediatrician.
99
00:03:29,332 --> 00:03:31,433
No, I...
100
00:03:31,434 --> 00:03:35,103
I said, "Shit, man."
101
00:03:35,104 --> 00:03:37,973
'Cause you said, "Is there
something I'm missing?"
102
00:03:37,974 --> 00:03:40,242
And I was like, "Shit, man!
103
00:03:40,243 --> 00:03:44,046
Is there something he's missing?"
104
00:03:44,047 --> 00:03:46,114
"Shit, man," is right.
105
00:03:46,115 --> 00:03:48,850
I mean, this is
the worst day of my life.
106
00:03:48,851 --> 00:03:51,119
The only thing keeping me
from not killing myself
107
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,188
is that I'm gonna be the
star of a CBS sitcom.
108
00:03:56,326 --> 00:03:59,094
So, Larry, do you know
why you're here?
109
00:03:59,095 --> 00:04:01,196
I don't. They won't tell me.
110
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,298
I said I'm not gonna kill myself.
111
00:04:03,299 --> 00:04:07,436
Larry, if you're thinking about killing
yourself, please, don't do it.
112
00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:09,871
I've had so many clients
take their own life,
113
00:04:09,872 --> 00:04:12,841
and at a certain point,
it starts to make me look bad.
114
00:04:12,842 --> 00:04:16,178
My wife and I are having
some problems.
115
00:04:16,179 --> 00:04:18,380
Is that what this is about?
116
00:04:18,381 --> 00:04:20,649
You guys are concerned
about my marriage?
117
00:04:20,650 --> 00:04:22,484
That's very sweet.
118
00:04:22,485 --> 00:04:24,753
I'm touched.
119
00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:28,624
You're good friends. Great friends.
120
00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:31,159
But let's not kid ourselves here.
121
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,563
It's not all out
of the goodness of your hearts.
122
00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:37,065
I'm their meal ticket.
123
00:04:37,066 --> 00:04:39,901
I'm about to be a giant star,
and these two are a little bit
124
00:04:39,902 --> 00:04:45,240
like barnacles on a ship,
just along for a free ride,
125
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,843
clinging to the bottom of the SS Dorf
126
00:04:47,844 --> 00:04:51,813
as she sails the seas of the globe.
127
00:04:51,814 --> 00:04:54,082
That is so gross.
128
00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:56,218
Larry, you're here
because Rachel and Hugh
129
00:04:56,219 --> 00:04:58,220
have something to tell you,
and they are worried
130
00:04:58,221 --> 00:04:59,755
that you are going to fall apart.
131
00:04:59,756 --> 00:05:02,424
But I want you to know
this is a safe space,
132
00:05:02,425 --> 00:05:05,527
and I can and will rebuild you.
133
00:05:05,528 --> 00:05:07,529
Rachel, Hugh, why don't you go ahead
134
00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:09,965
and tell Larry the bad news?
135
00:05:09,966 --> 00:05:12,401
Oh! Um...
136
00:05:12,402 --> 00:05:15,037
we were actually hoping
you would do it.
137
00:05:15,038 --> 00:05:16,571
Well, we all hope for things, Rachel.
138
00:05:16,572 --> 00:05:19,474
I'm sure you were hoping
for less Semitic features.
139
00:05:19,475 --> 00:05:22,477
I know what it is. It's my teeth.
140
00:05:22,478 --> 00:05:24,046
You're both afraid to tell me
141
00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:26,481
that no one on TV has teeth like this,
142
00:05:26,482 --> 00:05:28,550
with big, giant gaps between them.
143
00:05:28,551 --> 00:05:30,052
I already know that.
144
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:31,620
That's why I'm getting veneers.
145
00:05:31,621 --> 00:05:33,455
I've already had a consultation.
146
00:05:33,456 --> 00:05:34,623
Look.
147
00:05:34,624 --> 00:05:37,625
Larry... oh, my God!
148
00:05:39,228 --> 00:05:42,464
(HUGH) What the hell are...
did you ask for extra teeth?
149
00:05:42,465 --> 00:05:44,299
Larry, it's not your teeth.
150
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,268
No, but you really should
do something about 'em,
151
00:05:46,269 --> 00:05:48,270
because that's all
I've been thinking about
152
00:05:48,271 --> 00:05:50,739
since you started talking today,
is those teeth.
153
00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:52,941
My grandmother had the same condition.
154
00:05:52,942 --> 00:05:55,177
Fish teeth.
155
00:05:55,178 --> 00:05:57,479
Hugh?
156
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,247
Larry, um... Just tell me.
157
00:05:59,248 --> 00:06:01,650
I mean, I've already been
kicked out of my home.
158
00:06:01,651 --> 00:06:03,051
It can't get any worse.
159
00:06:03,052 --> 00:06:05,420
There's literally nothing
you can tell me
160
00:06:05,421 --> 00:06:07,122
that's gonna upset me.
161
00:06:07,123 --> 00:06:10,459
Unless you're about to tell me that I'm
not gonna be the star of a CBS sitcom.
162
00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:12,660
You're not gonna be the
star of a CBS sitcom.
163
00:06:14,764 --> 00:06:16,264
Hmm.
164
00:06:16,265 --> 00:06:18,558
(RACHEL) Larry? Larry!
165
00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:27,483
Here you go.
166
00:06:29,199 --> 00:06:31,795
And of course, you know you can
stay here as long as you need.
167
00:06:41,144 --> 00:06:43,011
Mmm! Is this okay?
168
00:06:43,012 --> 00:06:45,881
I never get to drink wine
anymore 'cause of Mark-Paul.
169
00:06:45,882 --> 00:06:47,716
Pour me one. I never get to
drink wine anymore either
170
00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:49,550
'cause I'm always drinking Scotch.
171
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,025
Mmm.
172
00:06:57,026 --> 00:06:58,494
Poor Larry.
173
00:06:58,495 --> 00:07:01,096
Maybe that should be
the new name of the show.
174
00:07:01,097 --> 00:07:03,465
(DOOR CLOSES) "Poor Larry."
175
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,899
Hey.
176
00:07:09,372 --> 00:07:12,207
Uh, uh, Sam...
what are you doing here?
177
00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:16,145
Uh, Reese broke her arm
doing that airplane stunt.
178
00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:18,247
- What's going on here?
- Oh.
179
00:07:18,248 --> 00:07:20,015
Uh, Larry's having a bit
of a rough day.
180
00:07:20,016 --> 00:07:22,384
Oh, God. What happened?
181
00:07:22,385 --> 00:07:24,119
Kind of all of his dreams
182
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,421
are not coming true
at the exact same time.
183
00:07:26,422 --> 00:07:27,856
I told him he could stay here.
184
00:07:27,857 --> 00:07:29,024
Wait, my house?
185
00:07:29,025 --> 00:07:30,959
Uh, "our" house.
186
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,694
And I thought you were in Toronto.
187
00:07:32,695 --> 00:07:35,164
Well, I'm not in Toronto anymore,
188
00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:39,868
so maybe Larry can find
a different place to stay
189
00:07:39,869 --> 00:07:44,373
so I can have some time alone
with my boyfriend.
190
00:07:44,374 --> 00:07:45,806
Yeah.
191
00:07:48,044 --> 00:07:50,144
- Ahh, that looks good.
- Yeah.
192
00:07:53,283 --> 00:07:55,083
You're not wearing any shoes.
193
00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:56,184
Oh!
194
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,721
I had 'em when I came here.
195
00:07:59,722 --> 00:08:03,058
Having a party too. Fun, fun.
196
00:08:03,059 --> 00:08:04,159
How are you?
197
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,594
Good.
198
00:08:05,595 --> 00:08:07,796
Um, I'm... actually, I'm great.
199
00:08:07,797 --> 00:08:10,566
I, um, I'm dating someone.
He's an actor.
200
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:11,567
Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
201
00:08:11,568 --> 00:08:13,735
Get out! I know Mark-Paul!
202
00:08:13,736 --> 00:08:15,237
Well, that's 'cause he's super famous.
203
00:08:15,238 --> 00:08:18,974
No, no, no, like, I-I-I know... him.
204
00:08:18,975 --> 00:08:21,443
We had this little thing
back when I was modeling.
205
00:08:21,444 --> 00:08:25,747
I mean, it was nothing serious,
but, hey, congratulations.
206
00:08:25,748 --> 00:08:27,049
Thank you. He's gorgeous.
207
00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:28,483
(WHISPERING) Gorgeous.
208
00:08:28,484 --> 00:08:30,252
Mmm! You know what?
209
00:08:30,253 --> 00:08:32,287
We should all go out.
210
00:08:32,288 --> 00:08:33,855
I can have Libby set it up.
211
00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:35,123
That'd be good.
212
00:08:35,124 --> 00:08:36,625
- So great.
- Yeah.
213
00:08:36,626 --> 00:08:38,393
I'd invite Larry and his wife,
but Larry looks like
214
00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,562
he should probably be
in a mental hospital.
215
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,130
(HUGH) Larry, let go of the blanket!
216
00:08:42,131 --> 00:08:43,265
(LARRY) Gimme!
217
00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:45,700
He says he just needs a few seconds.
218
00:08:47,036 --> 00:08:48,303
Oh, my God!
219
00:08:48,304 --> 00:08:49,371
(RACHEL GASPS) Larry!
220
00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:50,672
(SAM SCREAMS)
221
00:08:50,673 --> 00:08:52,140
(HUGH) Larry!
222
00:08:52,141 --> 00:08:54,009
God damn it! Oh, my God!
223
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:56,111
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
224
00:08:56,112 --> 00:08:58,947
? Do you remember
the early morning... ??
225
00:08:58,948 --> 00:09:00,882
Ocean!
226
00:09:00,883 --> 00:09:02,651
I'm coming!
227
00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:05,120
(LARRY) Ocean, take me!
228
00:09:05,121 --> 00:09:07,022
Come at me now!
229
00:09:07,023 --> 00:09:08,957
Hugh, go back! Go back!
230
00:09:08,958 --> 00:09:11,260
- What are you doing?
- I'm drowning myself!
231
00:09:11,261 --> 00:09:12,461
Do you want a drink?
232
00:09:12,462 --> 00:09:14,796
Yeah.
233
00:09:14,797 --> 00:09:16,832
Come on! Get out of here!
234
00:09:16,833 --> 00:09:19,134
No! I want to kill myself!
235
00:09:19,135 --> 00:09:20,435
I want to kill you!
236
00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:23,070
- I want to be dead!
- I want you to die!
237
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,540
(RACHEL) I just feel bad for Larry.
238
00:09:25,541 --> 00:09:27,075
Yeah.
239
00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:29,177
Well, I mean, do... do you
want me to back out?
240
00:09:29,178 --> 00:09:30,879
My agent would be thrilled.
241
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,148
So how does everyone
like their steaks?
242
00:09:33,149 --> 00:09:34,182
Medium, medium-well?
243
00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:35,384
Medium-rare is good for me.
244
00:09:35,385 --> 00:09:36,752
Not medium-well?
245
00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:37,819
I'm good with medium-well.
246
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,221
Mark-Paul, you good with medium-well?
247
00:09:39,222 --> 00:09:40,822
I just like mine a little more
on the rare side.
248
00:09:40,823 --> 00:09:42,891
Uh-huh, okay.
249
00:09:42,892 --> 00:09:44,960
So, speaking of beautiful women,
250
00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:48,330
I hear you used to date
Hugh's girlfriend.
251
00:09:48,331 --> 00:09:49,531
Who's his girlfriend?
252
00:09:49,532 --> 00:09:52,066
- Sam Hyland.
- Sam Hyland?
253
00:09:53,336 --> 00:09:56,905
Tall, blonde, model.
254
00:09:56,906 --> 00:09:58,774
(CHUCKLING) Oh, yeah.
255
00:09:58,775 --> 00:10:02,244
Sam Hyland.
256
00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:04,813
Uh, she, uh... She...
257
00:10:04,814 --> 00:10:06,748
She had weird... elbows.
258
00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:08,383
Oh, please.
259
00:10:08,384 --> 00:10:10,352
- Her elbows were weird?
- Yup.
260
00:10:10,353 --> 00:10:11,853
That's her one flaw? Weird elbows?
261
00:10:11,854 --> 00:10:13,689
What's my one flaw? Everything?
262
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:16,591
Just your insecurity.
263
00:10:16,592 --> 00:10:18,293
I'm going to the store
to get more steaks.
264
00:10:18,294 --> 00:10:20,474
If you're too hungry to wait,
they're in the garbage.
265
00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:24,599
You need anything?
266
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,904
Uh, maybe just, uh,
if you have a pillow.
267
00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:31,206
Ooh, uh, I don't.
268
00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:33,675
That's fine. It's fine.
269
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:35,377
Thank you for letting me stay here.
270
00:10:35,378 --> 00:10:38,246
Oh, yeah. Stay as long as you need.
271
00:10:38,247 --> 00:10:40,782
And, you know, Hugh told me
not to say anything,
272
00:10:40,783 --> 00:10:44,553
but if you wanna talk,
just down the hall.
273
00:10:44,554 --> 00:10:46,822
Open all night, right?
274
00:10:46,823 --> 00:10:48,724
I'm sleeping during the days now,
275
00:10:48,725 --> 00:10:50,926
so I really am around all night, so...
276
00:10:50,927 --> 00:10:53,428
Thank you. I'm sure I'll be fine.
277
00:10:53,429 --> 00:10:56,765
There's more to life
than starring in a sitcom.
278
00:10:56,766 --> 00:10:58,266
No, I don't know anything about that.
279
00:10:58,267 --> 00:11:01,069
I'm talking about this horrendous
situation with you and your wife.
280
00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,205
I still can't believe Hugh and I
281
00:11:03,206 --> 00:11:06,775
saw her out with this man
at the bar the other night.
282
00:11:06,776 --> 00:11:08,143
- What?
- Yeah, I couldn't believe
283
00:11:08,144 --> 00:11:11,179
the way she was squeezed
into that dress and...
284
00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:12,914
and then to find out that that man
285
00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:16,251
that she was zazzing it up for
is your children's pediatrician,
286
00:11:16,252 --> 00:11:18,353
I just... uh, that's crazy.
287
00:11:18,354 --> 00:11:19,621
Wait, Schnitman?
288
00:11:19,622 --> 00:11:22,357
Hey, did you not know?
289
00:11:22,358 --> 00:11:24,559
Oh, that's why he was telling me
not to say anything.
290
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,430
Larry, uh, I'm sorry. That's...
291
00:11:28,431 --> 00:11:30,265
Look on the bright side, though.
292
00:11:30,266 --> 00:11:32,134
He is a doctor, right?
293
00:11:32,135 --> 00:11:35,971
You can trust that he's gonna
take extraordinary care
294
00:11:35,972 --> 00:11:38,873
of your estranged wife and children.
295
00:11:43,379 --> 00:11:44,379
Larry?
296
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:45,847
Huh?
297
00:11:45,848 --> 00:11:47,849
Oh, I'm sorry. I took an opioid.
298
00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:50,118
Where did you get an opioid?
Oh, I gave him one.
299
00:11:50,119 --> 00:11:52,154
Where did you get an opioid?
300
00:11:52,155 --> 00:11:53,655
Online.
301
00:11:53,656 --> 00:11:55,223
You take opioids?
302
00:11:55,224 --> 00:11:56,825
Everyone does.
303
00:11:56,826 --> 00:11:58,527
- I don't.
- Do you want one?
304
00:11:58,528 --> 00:11:59,594
No.
305
00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:01,463
Am I being punished?
306
00:12:01,464 --> 00:12:05,367
Have I not been a good person, God?
307
00:12:05,368 --> 00:12:07,169
Look, do you even wanna be here?
308
00:12:07,170 --> 00:12:09,171
There can't be much to do
today besides casting.
309
00:12:09,172 --> 00:12:12,307
Hugh! Insensitive.
310
00:12:12,308 --> 00:12:13,308
- I'm sorry, Larry.
- Yeah.
311
00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:14,810
Maybe go back to Pat's, you know?
312
00:12:14,811 --> 00:12:17,112
- Relax.
- I can't go back to Pat's.
313
00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:20,215
He just went to bed.
It's like living with a hamster.
314
00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:23,118
He sleeps all day
and he runs all night.
315
00:12:23,119 --> 00:12:26,688
Well, I guess this is rock bottom.
316
00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:28,523
Good thing about that?
317
00:12:28,524 --> 00:12:30,058
There's nowhere to go but up.
318
00:12:30,059 --> 00:12:32,027
- Oh, my God.
- Ohh!
319
00:12:32,028 --> 00:12:33,928
My God!
320
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:38,834
What?
321
00:12:38,835 --> 00:12:42,003
Mark-Paul Gosselaar got my part?
322
00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:43,171
Well...
323
00:12:43,172 --> 00:12:45,474
Your Mark-Paul Gosselaar!
324
00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:46,842
Did you know about this?
325
00:12:46,843 --> 00:12:48,143
Uh...
326
00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:51,112
Yeah, he did. You knew.
327
00:12:51,113 --> 00:12:53,448
I didn't know as long as you did.
328
00:12:53,449 --> 00:12:57,319
That... I... He knew
and didn't say anything.
329
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,687
But you knew!
330
00:12:58,688 --> 00:13:01,423
It's your thing that you're
hiding and lying about!
331
00:13:01,424 --> 00:13:02,524
That's...
332
00:13:02,525 --> 00:13:04,826
Is everybody in my life lying to me?
333
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,094
I was gonna tell you,
334
00:13:06,095 --> 00:13:08,663
but I didn't wanna rub
salt in your womb.
335
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,332
What? Womb?
336
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:12,334
- What?
- Did you say "womb"?
337
00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:13,969
Yes!
338
00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:16,304
It's salt in your "wound."
- No, that's the whole point.
339
00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:18,540
The womb is, like, the most
sensitive part of your body,
340
00:13:18,541 --> 00:13:21,376
and then if I'm jamming salt
up it, that's what you want?
341
00:13:21,377 --> 00:13:23,945
- No, it's not what I want.
- That's right.
342
00:13:23,946 --> 00:13:25,447
(GROANING)
343
00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,415
Larry, they just wanted a name.
344
00:13:27,416 --> 00:13:29,117
- They wanted anybody famous.
- Yeah!
345
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:30,585
Like a good-looking guy!
346
00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:32,953
No one was gonna watch with you on it.
347
00:13:35,558 --> 00:13:38,393
It's a shitty business that,
if any of us had any brains,
348
00:13:38,394 --> 00:13:40,327
we would not be a part of it.
349
00:13:41,831 --> 00:13:43,798
You know what?
350
00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:45,867
Maybe this is good news.
351
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,737
Now we're all the same.
352
00:13:48,738 --> 00:13:50,438
We're all just writers again
353
00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:52,107
like we were on "The Fartlemans."
354
00:13:52,108 --> 00:13:54,042
I mean, I don't know
how you guys did it.
355
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,044
I mean, if the roles were reversed
356
00:13:56,045 --> 00:13:59,581
and one of you were an actor
in this and I was just a writer,
357
00:13:59,582 --> 00:14:01,449
I really think I'd kill myself.
358
00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:04,185
There are my hot-shot writers.
Bang, bang, bang.
359
00:14:04,186 --> 00:14:06,254
I got some good news.
Tell me you're ready.
360
00:14:06,255 --> 00:14:08,723
- I am ready, yes.
- Okay.
361
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:11,459
It's an old picture, but here it is.
362
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:14,763
Oh, my God! What?
363
00:14:14,764 --> 00:14:15,964
(DAVE) I just got off
the phone with CBS
364
00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,499
and they loved you at the table read.
365
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,167
Congratulations, you're the neighbor
366
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,802
to Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
367
00:14:20,803 --> 00:14:22,336
Your life's about to change.
368
00:14:29,424 --> 00:14:30,958
Are we not even gonna go
to dinner after this?
369
00:14:30,959 --> 00:14:34,395
No, he's doing some macrobiotic
meal delivery service.
370
00:14:34,396 --> 00:14:36,363
Jeez, my God.
371
00:14:36,364 --> 00:14:38,165
And no alcohol?
372
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:39,433
(GASPS) Hey!
373
00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:42,369
(ALL) Hey!
374
00:14:42,370 --> 00:14:45,439
I'm not in love with Walter Schnitman.
375
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,409
I just want to be appreciated.
376
00:14:48,410 --> 00:14:50,744
I want to be noticed.
377
00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:51,945
I want to be seen as more than
378
00:14:51,946 --> 00:14:54,181
the harried housewife in sweatpants!
379
00:14:54,182 --> 00:14:56,250
I just feel like
I'm invisible to Larry,
380
00:14:56,251 --> 00:14:59,152
and all he cares about
is his career and himself.
381
00:15:01,122 --> 00:15:02,256
Larry?
382
00:15:02,257 --> 00:15:04,191
I just don't get it.
383
00:15:04,192 --> 00:15:05,693
I created that show.
384
00:15:05,694 --> 00:15:07,728
It's based on my life.
385
00:15:07,729 --> 00:15:09,430
Hugh's not even an actor.
386
00:15:09,431 --> 00:15:11,031
He hasn't acted since Groundlings.
387
00:15:11,032 --> 00:15:12,900
I'm the actor!
388
00:15:12,901 --> 00:15:15,069
Me! I!
389
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:16,904
I can't just accept this.
390
00:15:16,905 --> 00:15:18,504
I can't just move on.
391
00:15:19,774 --> 00:15:21,642
- What? Jen!
- Don't follow me!
392
00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:23,043
But...
393
00:15:23,044 --> 00:15:24,978
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
394
00:15:24,979 --> 00:15:26,547
She doesn't get it.
395
00:15:26,548 --> 00:15:28,816
I know I don't give her
enough attention,
396
00:15:28,817 --> 00:15:31,018
but that's not because of her,
that's because of me.
397
00:15:31,019 --> 00:15:32,553
I am the problem.
398
00:15:32,554 --> 00:15:34,621
Who wants to be married to a man
399
00:15:34,622 --> 00:15:36,223
who has to live with his in-laws?
400
00:15:36,224 --> 00:15:38,158
Nobody.
401
00:15:38,159 --> 00:15:39,560
I want her to be proud of me.
402
00:15:39,561 --> 00:15:41,428
I want her to be able
to say to her friends,
403
00:15:41,429 --> 00:15:43,497
"That's my husband, Larry Dorf,
404
00:15:43,498 --> 00:15:45,365
star of a CBS sitcom."
405
00:15:45,366 --> 00:15:47,434
I want to be able to say,
"I'm Larry Dorf,
406
00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,436
star of a CBS sitcom."
407
00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:53,840
Or Fox or, you know, NBC,
one of the big ones.
408
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:58,946
You know what I mean?
409
00:15:58,947 --> 00:16:01,348
I'm sorry, what?
I wasn't paying attention.
410
00:16:01,349 --> 00:16:03,484
Why don't you start over?
411
00:16:03,485 --> 00:16:05,018
(MARK-PAUL)
I know this isn't champagne,
412
00:16:05,019 --> 00:16:06,320
but this is a celebration, right?
413
00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:10,457
So, to "Open Dorf Policy"
for bringing us all together.
414
00:16:10,458 --> 00:16:13,060
(CONTAINER HISSES)
415
00:16:13,061 --> 00:16:14,161
To old friends.
416
00:16:14,162 --> 00:16:15,996
(CHUCKLES) Thanks.
417
00:16:15,997 --> 00:16:18,332
Oh. New friends.
418
00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,300
Uh, thank you.
419
00:16:20,301 --> 00:16:21,535
And friends with benefits.
420
00:16:21,536 --> 00:16:23,170
Mmm, you're so hot.
421
00:16:23,171 --> 00:16:26,005
So hot. God damn!
422
00:16:27,342 --> 00:16:28,776
(HUGH) Okay, all right, yeah.
423
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,377
(MARK-PAUL) Okay, come on, Hugh.
424
00:16:30,378 --> 00:16:32,245
Show me what you got. Yeah.
425
00:16:33,348 --> 00:16:35,182
Oh! Oh!
426
00:16:35,183 --> 00:16:37,785
- Out!
- Why do I keep doing that?
427
00:16:37,786 --> 00:16:40,020
It's just your racket.
The face is a little too open.
428
00:16:40,021 --> 00:16:43,323
Remember, you wanna...
you wanna get low to high.
429
00:16:43,324 --> 00:16:45,692
I didn't know people really did that.
430
00:16:45,693 --> 00:16:48,529
Uh, could we just have balls?
431
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:50,063
'Cause it's our serve.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
432
00:16:50,064 --> 00:16:51,865
- Oh, sorry.
- (SAM) And we're winning.
433
00:16:51,866 --> 00:16:54,301
And, um, I don't know
if this will help,
434
00:16:54,302 --> 00:16:56,537
but, uh, Mark-Paul taught
me a little saying.
435
00:16:56,538 --> 00:16:58,505
Ah. Um...
436
00:16:58,506 --> 00:16:59,907
Uh, what is it?
437
00:16:59,908 --> 00:17:01,909
- Control and restraint.
- Okay.
438
00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,977
Uh, control and restraint,
439
00:17:03,978 --> 00:17:06,713
and hit the ball to where
the other guy ain't.
440
00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:10,150
(CHUCKLING) Oh... that is so clever.
441
00:17:10,151 --> 00:17:12,319
Honey, they're so cute together.
442
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,654
- Uh...
- Aren't they?
443
00:17:13,655 --> 00:17:15,022
Yeah, yeah.
444
00:17:15,023 --> 00:17:17,558
(MARK-PAUL) All right,
Hugh, go easy on me.
445
00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:18,958
Yeah.
446
00:17:21,396 --> 00:17:23,229
Ah, net!
447
00:17:26,034 --> 00:17:27,701
(HUGH GRUNTS)
448
00:17:27,702 --> 00:17:29,002
Double fault!
449
00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:31,872
God damn it. Love-15.
450
00:17:31,873 --> 00:17:33,941
You know what? It's okay.
451
00:17:33,942 --> 00:17:36,076
Yeah, yeah, it's okay.
452
00:17:36,077 --> 00:17:37,457
- Okay.
- Of course they're okay.
453
00:17:39,547 --> 00:17:41,348
Fault!
454
00:17:41,349 --> 00:17:42,916
(HUGH GRUNTS)
455
00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:45,117
- Whoo!
- Double fault.
456
00:17:46,187 --> 00:17:47,955
(GROANS) Ooh!
457
00:17:47,956 --> 00:17:49,790
Do you want me to get
another can of balls?
458
00:17:49,791 --> 00:17:51,225
I got a ball. I got a ball.
Let's just go!
459
00:17:51,226 --> 00:17:52,960
(MARK-PAUL) Hugh, just breathe, man.
460
00:17:52,961 --> 00:17:54,294
Just breathe. We're having fun.
461
00:17:54,295 --> 00:17:56,396
Control and restraint. No shame.
462
00:17:56,397 --> 00:17:57,965
If you need to, just lob it over.
463
00:17:57,966 --> 00:17:59,967
You know, just, like, underhand.
464
00:17:59,968 --> 00:18:02,069
Be great if everyone quit helping me.
465
00:18:02,070 --> 00:18:04,404
God! Damn it!
466
00:18:04,405 --> 00:18:06,073
Baby, breathe. Yup, yup.
467
00:18:06,074 --> 00:18:07,741
It's just a game. Yup.
468
00:18:07,742 --> 00:18:10,143
Relax. It's all good. Just a game.
469
00:18:10,144 --> 00:18:11,411
It's love-40. It's all good.
470
00:18:11,412 --> 00:18:12,713
We're all out here having fun.
471
00:18:12,714 --> 00:18:14,581
And soon, we're all gonna
sit down to a, uh,
472
00:18:14,582 --> 00:18:16,850
a microbiotic salad!
473
00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:18,919
"Macrobiotic." What?
474
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,287
"Macro," you said "micro."
475
00:18:20,288 --> 00:18:22,155
- And there's a difference?
- Yeah, yeah.
476
00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:23,790
Macrobiotic is like a philosophy,
477
00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:26,126
and microbiotic is where
you restrict calories.
478
00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:28,495
It's essentially for people
who want weight loss.
479
00:18:28,496 --> 00:18:30,430
But, you know, like, macrobiotic,
480
00:18:30,431 --> 00:18:33,834
it's all about giving foods
a value of yin and yang.
481
00:18:33,835 --> 00:18:36,136
Yin and yang,
it's all about the yin and yang.
482
00:18:36,137 --> 00:18:37,671
And what is that score again?
483
00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:39,973
(BOTH WOMEN) Love-40!
484
00:18:39,974 --> 00:18:41,475
Yes, love-40!
485
00:18:41,476 --> 00:18:43,709
Who could forget love-40?
486
00:18:45,914 --> 00:18:47,981
Ow! Ah!
487
00:18:47,982 --> 00:18:50,350
Jesus!
488
00:18:50,351 --> 00:18:52,185
Could be the alcohol. I mean...
489
00:18:52,186 --> 00:18:54,288
He drinks a lot.
490
00:18:54,289 --> 00:18:56,623
Yeah, hold it on there.
491
00:18:56,624 --> 00:18:59,459
I'm fine, really.
492
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,361
I'm fine. (SIGHS)
493
00:19:01,362 --> 00:19:02,429
It's cold.
494
00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:04,097
I have never done that before.
495
00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:06,733
What, hit your girlfriend?
I should hope not.
496
00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:10,504
Yes, uh, but also double fault
an entire service game.
497
00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:12,706
Are you bothered
that I dated Mark-Paul?
498
00:19:12,707 --> 00:19:14,207
(CHUCKLING) No.
499
00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:17,577
Are you bothered that I dated
Lizzie Martinez in the sixth grade?
500
00:19:17,578 --> 00:19:19,413
Depends. Was she pretty?
501
00:19:19,414 --> 00:19:21,048
Oh, very pretty and smart.
502
00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:22,816
She was the smartest kid
in the whole sixth grade.
503
00:19:22,817 --> 00:19:23,984
I don't know.
504
00:19:23,985 --> 00:19:26,119
I think someone's
a little bit jealous.
505
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:29,056
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
506
00:19:29,057 --> 00:19:31,391
- I'm not jealous.
- You are jealous.
507
00:19:31,392 --> 00:19:34,895
I don't care who Rachel goes out with.
508
00:19:34,896 --> 00:19:37,096
I meant, are you jealous of me?
509
00:19:40,201 --> 00:19:41,400
Sam!
510
00:19:43,338 --> 00:19:44,604
Sam!
511
00:19:44,605 --> 00:19:45,738
(DOOR CLOSES)
512
00:19:46,546 --> 00:19:49,847
So 9s are limited wild.
You can play any 9 on any card
513
00:19:49,848 --> 00:19:51,602
as long as you name the
suit, but it's gotta
514
00:19:51,603 --> 00:19:53,183
be the same color as
the previous suit.
515
00:19:53,184 --> 00:19:54,918
It can't be the same color as the 9
516
00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,353
or even the card before that.
517
00:19:56,354 --> 00:19:58,489
Got it?
518
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,657
So you really don't have TV
or the Internet?
519
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:04,528
Uh, you know, Hugh kept me kind
of tied to the temporal world.
520
00:20:04,529 --> 00:20:08,732
Once he left, I was just like...
521
00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,334
(SIGHS) You know what I mean?
522
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,567
Not at all.
523
00:20:13,705 --> 00:20:16,206
Hey. Any rooms left at the inn?
524
00:20:16,207 --> 00:20:18,342
Oh, man, did you and Sam
have a fight or something?
525
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,610
Not a fight.
526
00:20:19,611 --> 00:20:21,712
One party simply told the other party,
527
00:20:21,713 --> 00:20:23,514
"Sleep elsewhere."
528
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:26,383
Ahh, so I guess we are the same.
529
00:20:26,384 --> 00:20:28,418
Yeah, I stopped at a liquor
store on the way here.
530
00:20:28,419 --> 00:20:30,287
I thought we could drown our sorrows.
531
00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:33,390
Pat, I assume you have
sorrows to drown.
532
00:20:33,391 --> 00:20:35,224
You assume correctly.
533
00:20:36,961 --> 00:20:40,364
Uh, Larry, you will always be the star
534
00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:42,099
of the CBS sitcom in my heart.
535
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:45,202
(CHUCKLES) And to Pat...
536
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:49,005
for providing this wonderful shelter.
537
00:20:58,783 --> 00:21:02,052
And seriously, Larry, if, uh...
538
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:06,223
you want me to not take the part
of the neighbor, just say so.
539
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,290
Okay, that'd be great.
540
00:21:10,995 --> 00:21:13,295
No, take the part. It's fine.
541
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,200
Have sex with my wife. What do I care?
542
00:21:17,201 --> 00:21:20,137
Nobody likes me. Having more Scotch.
543
00:21:20,138 --> 00:21:22,973
I'm gonna go put this in my room.
544
00:21:22,974 --> 00:21:25,309
Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup!
545
00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,210
That's actually my room now.
546
00:21:27,211 --> 00:21:30,480
Maybe the couch or... or you
can sleep in Pat's bed.
547
00:21:30,481 --> 00:21:33,449
(PAT) It is open all night,
but I need it by about noon.
548
00:21:33,817 --> 00:21:40,579
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
549
00:21:40,629 --> 00:21:45,179
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38726
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