All language subtitles for Nobodies s02e05 Double Fault.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,591 --> 00:00:03,392 (GROANING) 2 00:00:03,393 --> 00:00:04,827 Hey! 3 00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:06,929 - Hey. - What are you doing? 4 00:00:06,930 --> 00:00:09,398 Oh, just stretching my groin. 5 00:00:09,399 --> 00:00:10,833 Was thinking maybe I'd hit it. 6 00:00:10,834 --> 00:00:13,569 Oh, um... 7 00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:15,270 well, I need to get going to work, 8 00:00:15,271 --> 00:00:17,606 but if it's quick... 9 00:00:17,607 --> 00:00:18,974 No, I was gonna hit the road. 10 00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:21,443 I-I'm finished stretching. I was gonna ride my bike. 11 00:00:21,444 --> 00:00:25,047 Yeah, totally. I... knew that's what you meant. 12 00:00:25,048 --> 00:00:26,815 Um, I brought you some banana bread. 13 00:00:26,816 --> 00:00:28,016 - Oh. - Yeah. 14 00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:29,852 Lois and I baked it as a thank-you 15 00:00:29,853 --> 00:00:31,053 for baby-sitting the other night. 16 00:00:31,054 --> 00:00:32,855 Wow. That's, uh... 17 00:00:32,856 --> 00:00:35,257 That's so nice. 18 00:00:35,258 --> 00:00:38,160 You're not gonna eat it, are you, 'cause of the gluten? 19 00:00:38,161 --> 00:00:39,828 And the refined carbs. 20 00:00:39,829 --> 00:00:42,731 Tell Lois I ate it and it was delicious. 21 00:00:42,732 --> 00:00:43,999 - What's that? - Oh! 22 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,034 Uh, this was on your doorstep from CAA. 23 00:00:46,035 --> 00:00:48,270 - Mmm. - Oh, yeah. 24 00:00:48,271 --> 00:00:49,405 I think I know what this is. 25 00:00:49,406 --> 00:00:51,173 I-I was offered the lead in a sitcom. 26 00:00:51,174 --> 00:00:53,308 Shut up! That's amazing! 27 00:00:53,309 --> 00:00:54,810 What's it about? 28 00:00:54,811 --> 00:00:56,545 No idea. Hadn't read it. 29 00:00:56,546 --> 00:00:57,880 Uh, well, would it shoot here or... 30 00:00:57,881 --> 00:00:59,681 Yeah, I think so, but I don't know 31 00:00:59,682 --> 00:01:01,316 if I want to do another show. 32 00:01:01,317 --> 00:01:02,751 'Cause then, you know, if it's successful, 33 00:01:02,752 --> 00:01:04,386 then I'm stuck doing that for years. 34 00:01:04,387 --> 00:01:07,055 What's wrong with that? We'd both be working on shows. 35 00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:08,590 I mean, we'd have the same hours. 36 00:01:08,591 --> 00:01:11,059 If we filmed on the same lot, 37 00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:13,162 we could drive to work together. 38 00:01:13,163 --> 00:01:14,763 And you'd be here in L.A. 39 00:01:14,764 --> 00:01:16,064 Why do you want me in L.A.? 40 00:01:16,065 --> 00:01:17,433 You know. 41 00:01:17,434 --> 00:01:20,002 'Cause we're... 42 00:01:20,003 --> 00:01:22,337 Dating? 43 00:01:22,338 --> 00:01:23,572 Yeah, dating. 44 00:01:23,573 --> 00:01:25,374 And... 45 00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:27,876 You're falling in love with me? 46 00:01:27,877 --> 00:01:29,278 I don't know. 47 00:01:29,279 --> 00:01:32,481 Are you... falling in love with me? 48 00:01:32,482 --> 00:01:36,051 I think I know. I think I know, yeah. 49 00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:38,253 What are you doing? Well, you've convinced me. 50 00:01:38,254 --> 00:01:40,055 Calling my agent. I'm gonna do it. 51 00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:41,451 But I thought you said you hadn't read it. 52 00:01:41,452 --> 00:01:42,324 That doesn't help me. 53 00:01:42,325 --> 00:01:43,692 I read the pilot script for "Breaking Bad" 54 00:01:43,693 --> 00:01:46,028 and I passed on it, so what the hell do I know? 55 00:01:46,029 --> 00:01:48,062 But you read it. Tell me what you think. 56 00:01:49,799 --> 00:01:51,266 It's Mark-Paul for Marcy. 57 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:52,934 Is she in? 58 00:01:55,605 --> 00:01:56,705 Marcy! 59 00:01:56,706 --> 00:01:59,708 (MARK-PAUL CHUCKLING) I'm in! 60 00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:01,909 - Let's do it. - Oh... 61 00:02:03,947 --> 00:02:05,380 So does this mean they were never 62 00:02:05,381 --> 00:02:06,582 really considering Larry for the part? 63 00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:09,685 I don't... Mark-Paul's agent said CBS wants a name. 64 00:02:09,686 --> 00:02:12,087 Anyone who's name is not Larry Dorf. 65 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,156 - Will you tell him? - Why would I tell him? 66 00:02:14,157 --> 00:02:17,925 - Your boyfriend took his part. - He didn't do it on purpose! 67 00:02:19,362 --> 00:02:22,764 Mark-Paul Gosselaar? As Larry Dorf? 68 00:02:22,765 --> 00:02:26,368 I mean, has there been a greater miscasting 69 00:02:26,369 --> 00:02:29,905 in the history of miscasting? 70 00:02:29,906 --> 00:02:32,541 Mark-Paul Gosselaar is, like, six-feet and good-looking. 71 00:02:32,542 --> 00:02:33,976 Great-looking. 72 00:02:33,977 --> 00:02:36,645 And I think he's 6'1", but I'll look it up. 73 00:02:36,646 --> 00:02:38,413 (PHONE KEYPAD TICKING) 74 00:02:38,414 --> 00:02:40,549 He's not any taller than I am. 75 00:02:40,550 --> 00:02:43,118 Well, very good-looking people appear taller. 76 00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:45,187 - BOTH: Aah! - Oh! 77 00:02:45,188 --> 00:02:47,256 Jesus! What are you doing? 78 00:02:47,257 --> 00:02:49,458 Sorry. Oh, my God. 79 00:02:49,459 --> 00:02:51,627 The AC is on a timer or something 80 00:02:51,628 --> 00:02:54,229 and I... it just got so hot, I couldn't sleep. 81 00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:55,797 Why were you sleeping here? 82 00:02:55,798 --> 00:02:57,432 Jen and I got in a huge fight. 83 00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:58,867 She kicked me out of the house. 84 00:02:58,868 --> 00:03:00,469 She was at the table read. 85 00:03:00,470 --> 00:03:02,671 I don't even know how she knew about that! 86 00:03:02,672 --> 00:03:04,473 Well, why didn't you go to a hotel? 87 00:03:04,474 --> 00:03:07,175 Because I kept thinking that Jen was gonna call me and say, 88 00:03:07,176 --> 00:03:10,112 "This is stupid. Come home," but she never did. 89 00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:12,114 I mean, I get that she's mad, but what, 90 00:03:12,115 --> 00:03:13,448 does she want a divorce 'cause I called her 91 00:03:13,449 --> 00:03:15,450 a harried housewife in a script? 92 00:03:15,451 --> 00:03:19,621 I mean, am I crazy? This is a giant overreaction. 93 00:03:19,622 --> 00:03:21,390 Is there something I'm missing? 94 00:03:21,391 --> 00:03:23,125 (WHISPERING) Schnitman! 95 00:03:23,126 --> 00:03:24,826 - What? - What? 96 00:03:24,827 --> 00:03:26,128 Our pediatrician? 97 00:03:26,129 --> 00:03:28,030 - What? - You just said, "Schnitman." 98 00:03:28,031 --> 00:03:29,331 That's the name of my pediatrician. 99 00:03:29,332 --> 00:03:31,433 No, I... 100 00:03:31,434 --> 00:03:35,103 I said, "Shit, man." 101 00:03:35,104 --> 00:03:37,973 'Cause you said, "Is there something I'm missing?" 102 00:03:37,974 --> 00:03:40,242 And I was like, "Shit, man! 103 00:03:40,243 --> 00:03:44,046 Is there something he's missing?" 104 00:03:44,047 --> 00:03:46,114 "Shit, man," is right. 105 00:03:46,115 --> 00:03:48,850 I mean, this is the worst day of my life. 106 00:03:48,851 --> 00:03:51,119 The only thing keeping me from not killing myself 107 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,188 is that I'm gonna be the star of a CBS sitcom. 108 00:03:56,326 --> 00:03:59,094 So, Larry, do you know why you're here? 109 00:03:59,095 --> 00:04:01,196 I don't. They won't tell me. 110 00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,298 I said I'm not gonna kill myself. 111 00:04:03,299 --> 00:04:07,436 Larry, if you're thinking about killing yourself, please, don't do it. 112 00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:09,871 I've had so many clients take their own life, 113 00:04:09,872 --> 00:04:12,841 and at a certain point, it starts to make me look bad. 114 00:04:12,842 --> 00:04:16,178 My wife and I are having some problems. 115 00:04:16,179 --> 00:04:18,380 Is that what this is about? 116 00:04:18,381 --> 00:04:20,649 You guys are concerned about my marriage? 117 00:04:20,650 --> 00:04:22,484 That's very sweet. 118 00:04:22,485 --> 00:04:24,753 I'm touched. 119 00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:28,624 You're good friends. Great friends. 120 00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:31,159 But let's not kid ourselves here. 121 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,563 It's not all out of the goodness of your hearts. 122 00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:37,065 I'm their meal ticket. 123 00:04:37,066 --> 00:04:39,901 I'm about to be a giant star, and these two are a little bit 124 00:04:39,902 --> 00:04:45,240 like barnacles on a ship, just along for a free ride, 125 00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,843 clinging to the bottom of the SS Dorf 126 00:04:47,844 --> 00:04:51,813 as she sails the seas of the globe. 127 00:04:51,814 --> 00:04:54,082 That is so gross. 128 00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:56,218 Larry, you're here because Rachel and Hugh 129 00:04:56,219 --> 00:04:58,220 have something to tell you, and they are worried 130 00:04:58,221 --> 00:04:59,755 that you are going to fall apart. 131 00:04:59,756 --> 00:05:02,424 But I want you to know this is a safe space, 132 00:05:02,425 --> 00:05:05,527 and I can and will rebuild you. 133 00:05:05,528 --> 00:05:07,529 Rachel, Hugh, why don't you go ahead 134 00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:09,965 and tell Larry the bad news? 135 00:05:09,966 --> 00:05:12,401 Oh! Um... 136 00:05:12,402 --> 00:05:15,037 we were actually hoping you would do it. 137 00:05:15,038 --> 00:05:16,571 Well, we all hope for things, Rachel. 138 00:05:16,572 --> 00:05:19,474 I'm sure you were hoping for less Semitic features. 139 00:05:19,475 --> 00:05:22,477 I know what it is. It's my teeth. 140 00:05:22,478 --> 00:05:24,046 You're both afraid to tell me 141 00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:26,481 that no one on TV has teeth like this, 142 00:05:26,482 --> 00:05:28,550 with big, giant gaps between them. 143 00:05:28,551 --> 00:05:30,052 I already know that. 144 00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:31,620 That's why I'm getting veneers. 145 00:05:31,621 --> 00:05:33,455 I've already had a consultation. 146 00:05:33,456 --> 00:05:34,623 Look. 147 00:05:34,624 --> 00:05:37,625 Larry... oh, my God! 148 00:05:39,228 --> 00:05:42,464 (HUGH) What the hell are... did you ask for extra teeth? 149 00:05:42,465 --> 00:05:44,299 Larry, it's not your teeth. 150 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,268 No, but you really should do something about 'em, 151 00:05:46,269 --> 00:05:48,270 because that's all I've been thinking about 152 00:05:48,271 --> 00:05:50,739 since you started talking today, is those teeth. 153 00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:52,941 My grandmother had the same condition. 154 00:05:52,942 --> 00:05:55,177 Fish teeth. 155 00:05:55,178 --> 00:05:57,479 Hugh? 156 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,247 Larry, um... Just tell me. 157 00:05:59,248 --> 00:06:01,650 I mean, I've already been kicked out of my home. 158 00:06:01,651 --> 00:06:03,051 It can't get any worse. 159 00:06:03,052 --> 00:06:05,420 There's literally nothing you can tell me 160 00:06:05,421 --> 00:06:07,122 that's gonna upset me. 161 00:06:07,123 --> 00:06:10,459 Unless you're about to tell me that I'm not gonna be the star of a CBS sitcom. 162 00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:12,660 You're not gonna be the star of a CBS sitcom. 163 00:06:14,764 --> 00:06:16,264 Hmm. 164 00:06:16,265 --> 00:06:18,558 (RACHEL) Larry? Larry! 165 00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:27,483 Here you go. 166 00:06:29,199 --> 00:06:31,795 And of course, you know you can stay here as long as you need. 167 00:06:41,144 --> 00:06:43,011 Mmm! Is this okay? 168 00:06:43,012 --> 00:06:45,881 I never get to drink wine anymore 'cause of Mark-Paul. 169 00:06:45,882 --> 00:06:47,716 Pour me one. I never get to drink wine anymore either 170 00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:49,550 'cause I'm always drinking Scotch. 171 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,025 Mmm. 172 00:06:57,026 --> 00:06:58,494 Poor Larry. 173 00:06:58,495 --> 00:07:01,096 Maybe that should be the new name of the show. 174 00:07:01,097 --> 00:07:03,465 (DOOR CLOSES) "Poor Larry." 175 00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,899 Hey. 176 00:07:09,372 --> 00:07:12,207 Uh, uh, Sam... what are you doing here? 177 00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:16,145 Uh, Reese broke her arm doing that airplane stunt. 178 00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:18,247 - What's going on here? - Oh. 179 00:07:18,248 --> 00:07:20,015 Uh, Larry's having a bit of a rough day. 180 00:07:20,016 --> 00:07:22,384 Oh, God. What happened? 181 00:07:22,385 --> 00:07:24,119 Kind of all of his dreams 182 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,421 are not coming true at the exact same time. 183 00:07:26,422 --> 00:07:27,856 I told him he could stay here. 184 00:07:27,857 --> 00:07:29,024 Wait, my house? 185 00:07:29,025 --> 00:07:30,959 Uh, "our" house. 186 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,694 And I thought you were in Toronto. 187 00:07:32,695 --> 00:07:35,164 Well, I'm not in Toronto anymore, 188 00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:39,868 so maybe Larry can find a different place to stay 189 00:07:39,869 --> 00:07:44,373 so I can have some time alone with my boyfriend. 190 00:07:44,374 --> 00:07:45,806 Yeah. 191 00:07:48,044 --> 00:07:50,144 - Ahh, that looks good. - Yeah. 192 00:07:53,283 --> 00:07:55,083 You're not wearing any shoes. 193 00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:56,184 Oh! 194 00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,721 I had 'em when I came here. 195 00:07:59,722 --> 00:08:03,058 Having a party too. Fun, fun. 196 00:08:03,059 --> 00:08:04,159 How are you? 197 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,594 Good. 198 00:08:05,595 --> 00:08:07,796 Um, I'm... actually, I'm great. 199 00:08:07,797 --> 00:08:10,566 I, um, I'm dating someone. He's an actor. 200 00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:11,567 Mark-Paul Gosselaar. 201 00:08:11,568 --> 00:08:13,735 Get out! I know Mark-Paul! 202 00:08:13,736 --> 00:08:15,237 Well, that's 'cause he's super famous. 203 00:08:15,238 --> 00:08:18,974 No, no, no, like, I-I-I know... him. 204 00:08:18,975 --> 00:08:21,443 We had this little thing back when I was modeling. 205 00:08:21,444 --> 00:08:25,747 I mean, it was nothing serious, but, hey, congratulations. 206 00:08:25,748 --> 00:08:27,049 Thank you. He's gorgeous. 207 00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:28,483 (WHISPERING) Gorgeous. 208 00:08:28,484 --> 00:08:30,252 Mmm! You know what? 209 00:08:30,253 --> 00:08:32,287 We should all go out. 210 00:08:32,288 --> 00:08:33,855 I can have Libby set it up. 211 00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:35,123 That'd be good. 212 00:08:35,124 --> 00:08:36,625 - So great. - Yeah. 213 00:08:36,626 --> 00:08:38,393 I'd invite Larry and his wife, but Larry looks like 214 00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,562 he should probably be in a mental hospital. 215 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,130 (HUGH) Larry, let go of the blanket! 216 00:08:42,131 --> 00:08:43,265 (LARRY) Gimme! 217 00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:45,700 He says he just needs a few seconds. 218 00:08:47,036 --> 00:08:48,303 Oh, my God! 219 00:08:48,304 --> 00:08:49,371 (RACHEL GASPS) Larry! 220 00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:50,672 (SAM SCREAMS) 221 00:08:50,673 --> 00:08:52,140 (HUGH) Larry! 222 00:08:52,141 --> 00:08:54,009 God damn it! Oh, my God! 223 00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:56,111 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 224 00:08:56,112 --> 00:08:58,947 ? Do you remember the early morning... ?? 225 00:08:58,948 --> 00:09:00,882 Ocean! 226 00:09:00,883 --> 00:09:02,651 I'm coming! 227 00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:05,120 (LARRY) Ocean, take me! 228 00:09:05,121 --> 00:09:07,022 Come at me now! 229 00:09:07,023 --> 00:09:08,957 Hugh, go back! Go back! 230 00:09:08,958 --> 00:09:11,260 - What are you doing? - I'm drowning myself! 231 00:09:11,261 --> 00:09:12,461 Do you want a drink? 232 00:09:12,462 --> 00:09:14,796 Yeah. 233 00:09:14,797 --> 00:09:16,832 Come on! Get out of here! 234 00:09:16,833 --> 00:09:19,134 No! I want to kill myself! 235 00:09:19,135 --> 00:09:20,435 I want to kill you! 236 00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:23,070 - I want to be dead! - I want you to die! 237 00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,540 (RACHEL) I just feel bad for Larry. 238 00:09:25,541 --> 00:09:27,075 Yeah. 239 00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:29,177 Well, I mean, do... do you want me to back out? 240 00:09:29,178 --> 00:09:30,879 My agent would be thrilled. 241 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,148 So how does everyone like their steaks? 242 00:09:33,149 --> 00:09:34,182 Medium, medium-well? 243 00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:35,384 Medium-rare is good for me. 244 00:09:35,385 --> 00:09:36,752 Not medium-well? 245 00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:37,819 I'm good with medium-well. 246 00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,221 Mark-Paul, you good with medium-well? 247 00:09:39,222 --> 00:09:40,822 I just like mine a little more on the rare side. 248 00:09:40,823 --> 00:09:42,891 Uh-huh, okay. 249 00:09:42,892 --> 00:09:44,960 So, speaking of beautiful women, 250 00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:48,330 I hear you used to date Hugh's girlfriend. 251 00:09:48,331 --> 00:09:49,531 Who's his girlfriend? 252 00:09:49,532 --> 00:09:52,066 - Sam Hyland. - Sam Hyland? 253 00:09:53,336 --> 00:09:56,905 Tall, blonde, model. 254 00:09:56,906 --> 00:09:58,774 (CHUCKLING) Oh, yeah. 255 00:09:58,775 --> 00:10:02,244 Sam Hyland. 256 00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:04,813 Uh, she, uh... She... 257 00:10:04,814 --> 00:10:06,748 She had weird... elbows. 258 00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:08,383 Oh, please. 259 00:10:08,384 --> 00:10:10,352 - Her elbows were weird? - Yup. 260 00:10:10,353 --> 00:10:11,853 That's her one flaw? Weird elbows? 261 00:10:11,854 --> 00:10:13,689 What's my one flaw? Everything? 262 00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:16,591 Just your insecurity. 263 00:10:16,592 --> 00:10:18,293 I'm going to the store to get more steaks. 264 00:10:18,294 --> 00:10:20,474 If you're too hungry to wait, they're in the garbage. 265 00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:24,599 You need anything? 266 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,904 Uh, maybe just, uh, if you have a pillow. 267 00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:31,206 Ooh, uh, I don't. 268 00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:33,675 That's fine. It's fine. 269 00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:35,377 Thank you for letting me stay here. 270 00:10:35,378 --> 00:10:38,246 Oh, yeah. Stay as long as you need. 271 00:10:38,247 --> 00:10:40,782 And, you know, Hugh told me not to say anything, 272 00:10:40,783 --> 00:10:44,553 but if you wanna talk, just down the hall. 273 00:10:44,554 --> 00:10:46,822 Open all night, right? 274 00:10:46,823 --> 00:10:48,724 I'm sleeping during the days now, 275 00:10:48,725 --> 00:10:50,926 so I really am around all night, so... 276 00:10:50,927 --> 00:10:53,428 Thank you. I'm sure I'll be fine. 277 00:10:53,429 --> 00:10:56,765 There's more to life than starring in a sitcom. 278 00:10:56,766 --> 00:10:58,266 No, I don't know anything about that. 279 00:10:58,267 --> 00:11:01,069 I'm talking about this horrendous situation with you and your wife. 280 00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,205 I still can't believe Hugh and I 281 00:11:03,206 --> 00:11:06,775 saw her out with this man at the bar the other night. 282 00:11:06,776 --> 00:11:08,143 - What? - Yeah, I couldn't believe 283 00:11:08,144 --> 00:11:11,179 the way she was squeezed into that dress and... 284 00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:12,914 and then to find out that that man 285 00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:16,251 that she was zazzing it up for is your children's pediatrician, 286 00:11:16,252 --> 00:11:18,353 I just... uh, that's crazy. 287 00:11:18,354 --> 00:11:19,621 Wait, Schnitman? 288 00:11:19,622 --> 00:11:22,357 Hey, did you not know? 289 00:11:22,358 --> 00:11:24,559 Oh, that's why he was telling me not to say anything. 290 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,430 Larry, uh, I'm sorry. That's... 291 00:11:28,431 --> 00:11:30,265 Look on the bright side, though. 292 00:11:30,266 --> 00:11:32,134 He is a doctor, right? 293 00:11:32,135 --> 00:11:35,971 You can trust that he's gonna take extraordinary care 294 00:11:35,972 --> 00:11:38,873 of your estranged wife and children. 295 00:11:43,379 --> 00:11:44,379 Larry? 296 00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:45,847 Huh? 297 00:11:45,848 --> 00:11:47,849 Oh, I'm sorry. I took an opioid. 298 00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:50,118 Where did you get an opioid? Oh, I gave him one. 299 00:11:50,119 --> 00:11:52,154 Where did you get an opioid? 300 00:11:52,155 --> 00:11:53,655 Online. 301 00:11:53,656 --> 00:11:55,223 You take opioids? 302 00:11:55,224 --> 00:11:56,825 Everyone does. 303 00:11:56,826 --> 00:11:58,527 - I don't. - Do you want one? 304 00:11:58,528 --> 00:11:59,594 No. 305 00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:01,463 Am I being punished? 306 00:12:01,464 --> 00:12:05,367 Have I not been a good person, God? 307 00:12:05,368 --> 00:12:07,169 Look, do you even wanna be here? 308 00:12:07,170 --> 00:12:09,171 There can't be much to do today besides casting. 309 00:12:09,172 --> 00:12:12,307 Hugh! Insensitive. 310 00:12:12,308 --> 00:12:13,308 - I'm sorry, Larry. - Yeah. 311 00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:14,810 Maybe go back to Pat's, you know? 312 00:12:14,811 --> 00:12:17,112 - Relax. - I can't go back to Pat's. 313 00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:20,215 He just went to bed. It's like living with a hamster. 314 00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:23,118 He sleeps all day and he runs all night. 315 00:12:23,119 --> 00:12:26,688 Well, I guess this is rock bottom. 316 00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:28,523 Good thing about that? 317 00:12:28,524 --> 00:12:30,058 There's nowhere to go but up. 318 00:12:30,059 --> 00:12:32,027 - Oh, my God. - Ohh! 319 00:12:32,028 --> 00:12:33,928 My God! 320 00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:38,834 What? 321 00:12:38,835 --> 00:12:42,003 Mark-Paul Gosselaar got my part? 322 00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:43,171 Well... 323 00:12:43,172 --> 00:12:45,474 Your Mark-Paul Gosselaar! 324 00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:46,842 Did you know about this? 325 00:12:46,843 --> 00:12:48,143 Uh... 326 00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:51,112 Yeah, he did. You knew. 327 00:12:51,113 --> 00:12:53,448 I didn't know as long as you did. 328 00:12:53,449 --> 00:12:57,319 That... I... He knew and didn't say anything. 329 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,687 But you knew! 330 00:12:58,688 --> 00:13:01,423 It's your thing that you're hiding and lying about! 331 00:13:01,424 --> 00:13:02,524 That's... 332 00:13:02,525 --> 00:13:04,826 Is everybody in my life lying to me? 333 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,094 I was gonna tell you, 334 00:13:06,095 --> 00:13:08,663 but I didn't wanna rub salt in your womb. 335 00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,332 What? Womb? 336 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:12,334 - What? - Did you say "womb"? 337 00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:13,969 Yes! 338 00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:16,304 It's salt in your "wound." - No, that's the whole point. 339 00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:18,540 The womb is, like, the most sensitive part of your body, 340 00:13:18,541 --> 00:13:21,376 and then if I'm jamming salt up it, that's what you want? 341 00:13:21,377 --> 00:13:23,945 - No, it's not what I want. - That's right. 342 00:13:23,946 --> 00:13:25,447 (GROANING) 343 00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,415 Larry, they just wanted a name. 344 00:13:27,416 --> 00:13:29,117 - They wanted anybody famous. - Yeah! 345 00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:30,585 Like a good-looking guy! 346 00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:32,953 No one was gonna watch with you on it. 347 00:13:35,558 --> 00:13:38,393 It's a shitty business that, if any of us had any brains, 348 00:13:38,394 --> 00:13:40,327 we would not be a part of it. 349 00:13:41,831 --> 00:13:43,798 You know what? 350 00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:45,867 Maybe this is good news. 351 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,737 Now we're all the same. 352 00:13:48,738 --> 00:13:50,438 We're all just writers again 353 00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:52,107 like we were on "The Fartlemans." 354 00:13:52,108 --> 00:13:54,042 I mean, I don't know how you guys did it. 355 00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,044 I mean, if the roles were reversed 356 00:13:56,045 --> 00:13:59,581 and one of you were an actor in this and I was just a writer, 357 00:13:59,582 --> 00:14:01,449 I really think I'd kill myself. 358 00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:04,185 There are my hot-shot writers. Bang, bang, bang. 359 00:14:04,186 --> 00:14:06,254 I got some good news. Tell me you're ready. 360 00:14:06,255 --> 00:14:08,723 - I am ready, yes. - Okay. 361 00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:11,459 It's an old picture, but here it is. 362 00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:14,763 Oh, my God! What? 363 00:14:14,764 --> 00:14:15,964 (DAVE) I just got off the phone with CBS 364 00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,499 and they loved you at the table read. 365 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,167 Congratulations, you're the neighbor 366 00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,802 to Mark-Paul Gosselaar. 367 00:14:20,803 --> 00:14:22,336 Your life's about to change. 368 00:14:29,424 --> 00:14:30,958 Are we not even gonna go to dinner after this? 369 00:14:30,959 --> 00:14:34,395 No, he's doing some macrobiotic meal delivery service. 370 00:14:34,396 --> 00:14:36,363 Jeez, my God. 371 00:14:36,364 --> 00:14:38,165 And no alcohol? 372 00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:39,433 (GASPS) Hey! 373 00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:42,369 (ALL) Hey! 374 00:14:42,370 --> 00:14:45,439 I'm not in love with Walter Schnitman. 375 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,409 I just want to be appreciated. 376 00:14:48,410 --> 00:14:50,744 I want to be noticed. 377 00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:51,945 I want to be seen as more than 378 00:14:51,946 --> 00:14:54,181 the harried housewife in sweatpants! 379 00:14:54,182 --> 00:14:56,250 I just feel like I'm invisible to Larry, 380 00:14:56,251 --> 00:14:59,152 and all he cares about is his career and himself. 381 00:15:01,122 --> 00:15:02,256 Larry? 382 00:15:02,257 --> 00:15:04,191 I just don't get it. 383 00:15:04,192 --> 00:15:05,693 I created that show. 384 00:15:05,694 --> 00:15:07,728 It's based on my life. 385 00:15:07,729 --> 00:15:09,430 Hugh's not even an actor. 386 00:15:09,431 --> 00:15:11,031 He hasn't acted since Groundlings. 387 00:15:11,032 --> 00:15:12,900 I'm the actor! 388 00:15:12,901 --> 00:15:15,069 Me! I! 389 00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:16,904 I can't just accept this. 390 00:15:16,905 --> 00:15:18,504 I can't just move on. 391 00:15:19,774 --> 00:15:21,642 - What? Jen! - Don't follow me! 392 00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:23,043 But... 393 00:15:23,044 --> 00:15:24,978 (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) 394 00:15:24,979 --> 00:15:26,547 She doesn't get it. 395 00:15:26,548 --> 00:15:28,816 I know I don't give her enough attention, 396 00:15:28,817 --> 00:15:31,018 but that's not because of her, that's because of me. 397 00:15:31,019 --> 00:15:32,553 I am the problem. 398 00:15:32,554 --> 00:15:34,621 Who wants to be married to a man 399 00:15:34,622 --> 00:15:36,223 who has to live with his in-laws? 400 00:15:36,224 --> 00:15:38,158 Nobody. 401 00:15:38,159 --> 00:15:39,560 I want her to be proud of me. 402 00:15:39,561 --> 00:15:41,428 I want her to be able to say to her friends, 403 00:15:41,429 --> 00:15:43,497 "That's my husband, Larry Dorf, 404 00:15:43,498 --> 00:15:45,365 star of a CBS sitcom." 405 00:15:45,366 --> 00:15:47,434 I want to be able to say, "I'm Larry Dorf, 406 00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,436 star of a CBS sitcom." 407 00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:53,840 Or Fox or, you know, NBC, one of the big ones. 408 00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:58,946 You know what I mean? 409 00:15:58,947 --> 00:16:01,348 I'm sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention. 410 00:16:01,349 --> 00:16:03,484 Why don't you start over? 411 00:16:03,485 --> 00:16:05,018 (MARK-PAUL) I know this isn't champagne, 412 00:16:05,019 --> 00:16:06,320 but this is a celebration, right? 413 00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:10,457 So, to "Open Dorf Policy" for bringing us all together. 414 00:16:10,458 --> 00:16:13,060 (CONTAINER HISSES) 415 00:16:13,061 --> 00:16:14,161 To old friends. 416 00:16:14,162 --> 00:16:15,996 (CHUCKLES) Thanks. 417 00:16:15,997 --> 00:16:18,332 Oh. New friends. 418 00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,300 Uh, thank you. 419 00:16:20,301 --> 00:16:21,535 And friends with benefits. 420 00:16:21,536 --> 00:16:23,170 Mmm, you're so hot. 421 00:16:23,171 --> 00:16:26,005 So hot. God damn! 422 00:16:27,342 --> 00:16:28,776 (HUGH) Okay, all right, yeah. 423 00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,377 (MARK-PAUL) Okay, come on, Hugh. 424 00:16:30,378 --> 00:16:32,245 Show me what you got. Yeah. 425 00:16:33,348 --> 00:16:35,182 Oh! Oh! 426 00:16:35,183 --> 00:16:37,785 - Out! - Why do I keep doing that? 427 00:16:37,786 --> 00:16:40,020 It's just your racket. The face is a little too open. 428 00:16:40,021 --> 00:16:43,323 Remember, you wanna... you wanna get low to high. 429 00:16:43,324 --> 00:16:45,692 I didn't know people really did that. 430 00:16:45,693 --> 00:16:48,529 Uh, could we just have balls? 431 00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:50,063 'Cause it's our serve. Oh, yeah, sorry. 432 00:16:50,064 --> 00:16:51,865 - Oh, sorry. - (SAM) And we're winning. 433 00:16:51,866 --> 00:16:54,301 And, um, I don't know if this will help, 434 00:16:54,302 --> 00:16:56,537 but, uh, Mark-Paul taught me a little saying. 435 00:16:56,538 --> 00:16:58,505 Ah. Um... 436 00:16:58,506 --> 00:16:59,907 Uh, what is it? 437 00:16:59,908 --> 00:17:01,909 - Control and restraint. - Okay. 438 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,977 Uh, control and restraint, 439 00:17:03,978 --> 00:17:06,713 and hit the ball to where the other guy ain't. 440 00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:10,150 (CHUCKLING) Oh... that is so clever. 441 00:17:10,151 --> 00:17:12,319 Honey, they're so cute together. 442 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,654 - Uh... - Aren't they? 443 00:17:13,655 --> 00:17:15,022 Yeah, yeah. 444 00:17:15,023 --> 00:17:17,558 (MARK-PAUL) All right, Hugh, go easy on me. 445 00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:18,958 Yeah. 446 00:17:21,396 --> 00:17:23,229 Ah, net! 447 00:17:26,034 --> 00:17:27,701 (HUGH GRUNTS) 448 00:17:27,702 --> 00:17:29,002 Double fault! 449 00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:31,872 God damn it. Love-15. 450 00:17:31,873 --> 00:17:33,941 You know what? It's okay. 451 00:17:33,942 --> 00:17:36,076 Yeah, yeah, it's okay. 452 00:17:36,077 --> 00:17:37,457 - Okay. - Of course they're okay. 453 00:17:39,547 --> 00:17:41,348 Fault! 454 00:17:41,349 --> 00:17:42,916 (HUGH GRUNTS) 455 00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:45,117 - Whoo! - Double fault. 456 00:17:46,187 --> 00:17:47,955 (GROANS) Ooh! 457 00:17:47,956 --> 00:17:49,790 Do you want me to get another can of balls? 458 00:17:49,791 --> 00:17:51,225 I got a ball. I got a ball. Let's just go! 459 00:17:51,226 --> 00:17:52,960 (MARK-PAUL) Hugh, just breathe, man. 460 00:17:52,961 --> 00:17:54,294 Just breathe. We're having fun. 461 00:17:54,295 --> 00:17:56,396 Control and restraint. No shame. 462 00:17:56,397 --> 00:17:57,965 If you need to, just lob it over. 463 00:17:57,966 --> 00:17:59,967 You know, just, like, underhand. 464 00:17:59,968 --> 00:18:02,069 Be great if everyone quit helping me. 465 00:18:02,070 --> 00:18:04,404 God! Damn it! 466 00:18:04,405 --> 00:18:06,073 Baby, breathe. Yup, yup. 467 00:18:06,074 --> 00:18:07,741 It's just a game. Yup. 468 00:18:07,742 --> 00:18:10,143 Relax. It's all good. Just a game. 469 00:18:10,144 --> 00:18:11,411 It's love-40. It's all good. 470 00:18:11,412 --> 00:18:12,713 We're all out here having fun. 471 00:18:12,714 --> 00:18:14,581 And soon, we're all gonna sit down to a, uh, 472 00:18:14,582 --> 00:18:16,850 a microbiotic salad! 473 00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:18,919 "Macrobiotic." What? 474 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,287 "Macro," you said "micro." 475 00:18:20,288 --> 00:18:22,155 - And there's a difference? - Yeah, yeah. 476 00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:23,790 Macrobiotic is like a philosophy, 477 00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:26,126 and microbiotic is where you restrict calories. 478 00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:28,495 It's essentially for people who want weight loss. 479 00:18:28,496 --> 00:18:30,430 But, you know, like, macrobiotic, 480 00:18:30,431 --> 00:18:33,834 it's all about giving foods a value of yin and yang. 481 00:18:33,835 --> 00:18:36,136 Yin and yang, it's all about the yin and yang. 482 00:18:36,137 --> 00:18:37,671 And what is that score again? 483 00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:39,973 (BOTH WOMEN) Love-40! 484 00:18:39,974 --> 00:18:41,475 Yes, love-40! 485 00:18:41,476 --> 00:18:43,709 Who could forget love-40? 486 00:18:45,914 --> 00:18:47,981 Ow! Ah! 487 00:18:47,982 --> 00:18:50,350 Jesus! 488 00:18:50,351 --> 00:18:52,185 Could be the alcohol. I mean... 489 00:18:52,186 --> 00:18:54,288 He drinks a lot. 490 00:18:54,289 --> 00:18:56,623 Yeah, hold it on there. 491 00:18:56,624 --> 00:18:59,459 I'm fine, really. 492 00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,361 I'm fine. (SIGHS) 493 00:19:01,362 --> 00:19:02,429 It's cold. 494 00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:04,097 I have never done that before. 495 00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:06,733 What, hit your girlfriend? I should hope not. 496 00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:10,504 Yes, uh, but also double fault an entire service game. 497 00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:12,706 Are you bothered that I dated Mark-Paul? 498 00:19:12,707 --> 00:19:14,207 (CHUCKLING) No. 499 00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:17,577 Are you bothered that I dated Lizzie Martinez in the sixth grade? 500 00:19:17,578 --> 00:19:19,413 Depends. Was she pretty? 501 00:19:19,414 --> 00:19:21,048 Oh, very pretty and smart. 502 00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:22,816 She was the smartest kid in the whole sixth grade. 503 00:19:22,817 --> 00:19:23,984 I don't know. 504 00:19:23,985 --> 00:19:26,119 I think someone's a little bit jealous. 505 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:29,056 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 506 00:19:29,057 --> 00:19:31,391 - I'm not jealous. - You are jealous. 507 00:19:31,392 --> 00:19:34,895 I don't care who Rachel goes out with. 508 00:19:34,896 --> 00:19:37,096 I meant, are you jealous of me? 509 00:19:40,201 --> 00:19:41,400 Sam! 510 00:19:43,338 --> 00:19:44,604 Sam! 511 00:19:44,605 --> 00:19:45,738 (DOOR CLOSES) 512 00:19:46,546 --> 00:19:49,847 So 9s are limited wild. You can play any 9 on any card 513 00:19:49,848 --> 00:19:51,602 as long as you name the suit, but it's gotta 514 00:19:51,603 --> 00:19:53,183 be the same color as the previous suit. 515 00:19:53,184 --> 00:19:54,918 It can't be the same color as the 9 516 00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,353 or even the card before that. 517 00:19:56,354 --> 00:19:58,489 Got it? 518 00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,657 So you really don't have TV or the Internet? 519 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:04,528 Uh, you know, Hugh kept me kind of tied to the temporal world. 520 00:20:04,529 --> 00:20:08,732 Once he left, I was just like... 521 00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,334 (SIGHS) You know what I mean? 522 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,567 Not at all. 523 00:20:13,705 --> 00:20:16,206 Hey. Any rooms left at the inn? 524 00:20:16,207 --> 00:20:18,342 Oh, man, did you and Sam have a fight or something? 525 00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,610 Not a fight. 526 00:20:19,611 --> 00:20:21,712 One party simply told the other party, 527 00:20:21,713 --> 00:20:23,514 "Sleep elsewhere." 528 00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:26,383 Ahh, so I guess we are the same. 529 00:20:26,384 --> 00:20:28,418 Yeah, I stopped at a liquor store on the way here. 530 00:20:28,419 --> 00:20:30,287 I thought we could drown our sorrows. 531 00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:33,390 Pat, I assume you have sorrows to drown. 532 00:20:33,391 --> 00:20:35,224 You assume correctly. 533 00:20:36,961 --> 00:20:40,364 Uh, Larry, you will always be the star 534 00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:42,099 of the CBS sitcom in my heart. 535 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:45,202 (CHUCKLES) And to Pat... 536 00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:49,005 for providing this wonderful shelter. 537 00:20:58,783 --> 00:21:02,052 And seriously, Larry, if, uh... 538 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:06,223 you want me to not take the part of the neighbor, just say so. 539 00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,290 Okay, that'd be great. 540 00:21:10,995 --> 00:21:13,295 No, take the part. It's fine. 541 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,200 Have sex with my wife. What do I care? 542 00:21:17,201 --> 00:21:20,137 Nobody likes me. Having more Scotch. 543 00:21:20,138 --> 00:21:22,973 I'm gonna go put this in my room. 544 00:21:22,974 --> 00:21:25,309 Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup! 545 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,210 That's actually my room now. 546 00:21:27,211 --> 00:21:30,480 Maybe the couch or... or you can sleep in Pat's bed. 547 00:21:30,481 --> 00:21:33,449 (PAT) It is open all night, but I need it by about noon. 548 00:21:33,817 --> 00:21:40,579 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 549 00:21:40,629 --> 00:21:45,179 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38726

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