All language subtitles for No Tomorrow s01e12 Like the Present.eng

I'm Xavier, with an "X."
I gotta live life while I can.

- What does that mean?
- Humankind only has

eight months and 12 days left on Earth.

- You're serious?
- Yeah, the apocalypse is, um, nigh.

This is my apocalyst. This is
every last thing I want to do

before things go kaput.

- (Xavier whooping)
- (Squealing happily)

Previously on No Tomorrow...

Oh!

Oh, there's a big story here.

The math isn't your story.

This Xavier guy is.

So you just... you just
want a... a hit piece?

XAVIER: Tyra DeNeil
Fields is the most popular

astrophysicist in the world.

She's just the sort of person

who could not only validate my theory,

but alert the general public.

Can you toss this for me, please?

I've decided to put all my money

in space tourism.

Yeah!

If that thing is coming,

then I've got to find a way to stop it,

because I want to spend
a lifetime with you.

Choose carefully, we're
getting close to the end.

Every move you make is crucial.

You're not getting
into my head, Covington.

And that's... how it's done.

- Okay.
- _

(Nervous chuckles)

XAVIER (in distance): Bollocks!

(Gasps)

How's it going?

No matter how I simulate a solution...

missile strike, solar sails,
kinetic interceptors...

(sighs) the asteroid still
comes crashing into Earth.

Well, you want to maybe
switch gears for a bit?

Our Iceland trip is in three days,

and we have a ton to plan.

You know, hotels,
landmarks we want to see,

caribou rides we want to take.

I need to finish this
test set, all right?

Can we make plans to
make plans tomorrow?

Sure.

You know, I wanted you to start thinking

about the future, and now you are.

Mwah.

- I'll see you later.
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay...
- (Door closes)

(Computer beeping)

Come on, miss, miss, miss.

- Miss!
- (Computer alarm beeping)

No, no, no, no.

Aw, come on!

- (Buzzer sounding)
- _

= synced and corrected by Shahrazade =
... www.addic7ed.com ...

(Shouts in frustration)

Hey, what's going on?

Cory Casey's here.

Apparently he's got
some big, exciting news.

(Dramatic music playing)

(Music stops)

Oh, salutations, Cybermart-ians
of the Seattle branch.

I am so excited to be with you all

on this beautiful Monday
to share with you the news

that you all are going
on an amazing adventure!

- Whoo!
- (Other exclaiming)

Because we're... dissolving
this branch of Cybermart,

and absorbing its modest
resources elsewhere.

All of you are being
reassigned to other branches.

So pack up all those
big bags of enthusiasm

and all your personal belongings,

'cause you'll need to be out of here

by the end of the week.

Uh, branch reassignments are posted,

and decisions are final, so...

don't come and talk to me about it.

Adventure...

(Chuckles)

... awaits!

You're reassigning me to Phoenix?

That's close to the
Sunset Crater volcano.

The government claims
it's not gonna erupt,

but I don't want to take that chance.

Detroit? I can't go to Michigan.

That state's shaped like a mitten.

It's way too adorable.

Tacoma! But th-that's...

That's only 30 miles
from here, actually.

But no, it's gonna add a
solid 20 minutes to my commute.

40, if you count there and back.

But whatever, no, we have to fix this.

We can't just let them split us up.

I bet Deirdre can help us.

(Blender whirring)

Well, this is troubling.

I cannot help you.

I was informed of the branch closing

mere minutes before you.

I'm getting shipped off to Siberia.

What?! Siberia?

Like, actual Russian Siberia?

The village of Yakutsk.

You may know it by its nickname,

"the coldest city on Earth"? Hmm?

Anyway, Phoenix, Detroit, Yakutsk.

We're all getting rogered on this one.

Well... all except Evie.

The Getters & Givers program has done

so well that she's getting
a title bump and a raise.

- I am?
- DEIRDRE: Yes.

And they will expect you
to hit the ground running,

so your vacation will have
to wait till next year.

Wait, really?

Welcome to life as a manager.

I would like to be alone now.

(Door closes)

Siberia?

It's an undeniable blow

to our recently reignited love fire.

I've tried long-distance before

with the guitarist from Tonic

during their '90s tour with Smash Mouth.

It didn't end well.

Distance is what tore my parents apart.

They both worked for
my uncle's cruise line

on different ships... bad deal.

And one of them always had norovirus.

A 41-hour plane ride will
be a formidable sex moat.

In the beginning, we'll
call each other every night.

Then it's every other night.
Soon, it's once a week.

Then the visits get
further and further apart.

Eventually, we'll be visiting each other

once a year in the summer.

There is no summer in Yakutsk.

There's only a fall and three winters.

JESSE: This day is a real turd.

First, I burned a batch
of Kopi Luwak at Murray's,

and now we're out of Possum Puffs.

Hang on. Hang on, hang on, hang on.

If we launch a shuttle
with two ion-beam shepherds

in exactly... 11 days...

(Beeping)

Moment of truth.

Oh, the suspense is killing me.

(Beeps)

- I've done it.
- (Chimes)

_

I've done it.

I've figured out a way
to divert the asteroid.

I knew you could do it, cuz.

I always believed in you,
man. Let's go celebrate.

Can we check out that new
fondue place, Cheese Louise?

Celebrate? Are you kidding?

We've got 11 days to save the world.

- We don't have a moment to waste.
- Right.

Cancel fondue. Copy that.

Uh, what's our next move?

We're gonna need a lot of money.

Uh, we can crowdfund it.

I'll start a campaign online.
How much money do you need?

$1.5 billion.

HANK: That's a lot of dough.

It's a deep-dish pizza.

I figured I'd get accustomed
to Midwestern cuisine.

They didn't have any funnel
cakes or cheese curds, so...

EVIE: I still can't believe this.

There must be something we can do.

What if you all quit Cybermart
and found new jobs in Tacoma?

(Chuckles) In this job market?

I still have survivalist school loans.

Yeah, and if I was suddenly unemployed,

it would send up a major
red flag for the INS.

I can't risk Sofia's green card.

And I could never quit Cybermart.

It's the first and only
place that recognized

my innate gift for leadership.

I believe it is my destiny
to replace Casey Cory

in the event of his untimely death.

I can't give that up.

Even if it means losing
something very meaningful

and moving to a place
one guide book described

as "an unyielding
landscape of frozen doom."

We can't just let
them fork us like this!

This is my office, damn it!

Evie, this is the cafeteria.

No, I mean, this is my community.

Well, we all feel like this
is a community, but you know...

The TV shows.

I always imagined that

someday I'd have my own fun place

full of lovable characters who
know each other inside and out.

I always liked News Radio.

Look, Cory said the
decisions were final.

There's nothing we can do.

Unless the Tacoma branch

is magically struck by the plague,

and our positions open
up there, it's hopeless.

Wait.

Now, that is a good idea.

The plague! Not impossible,

but releasing trained rats is
never as simple as it seems.

Not the plague, the part about

creating job openings
at the Tacoma branch.

What if we find your counterparts there

and convince them to quit?

By making them think like
they're gonna get the plague!

Using their minds against them.

No. Look, everyone has
a secret passion, right?

Something they've
always wanted to pursue.

Well, if we can find
out what that thing is

for those three people,
we can get them new jobs

that involve those passions.

And then they'll quit.

And then we won't even
have to mention the plague.

And then maybe we can stay together.

EVIE: And they'll all
achieve their dreams.

It's a win-win-win-win...

(quietly): win-win-win...

win-win-win!

(Laughs)

I've got two killer T-shirt designs

for the crowdfunding campaign.

Which one do you think?

Oh, uh, your call, cuz.

Can you believe they just
gave me the employee list

for the Tacoma branch,
just because I said

I was bad with names?

Ha. I am great with names.

By the way, sorry, again,

for pushing our Iceland trip.

Evie, it's all good. I've
got work to do anyway.

Right. Back to it, then.

Scrooge you, Cory Casey.

I'm not letting some
eccentric billionaire

break up News Radio.

Wait a second. A crazed billionaire

involved in space tourism.

Evie, is there any chance

you can get me a meeting with this guy?

Get in line. He was hard to pin down

before he closed the Seattle branch.

Now he doesn't want to hear from anyone

until everyone's been transferred.

Jesse, how much have we raised so far?

Like, $74.12.

But minus the cost of these T-shirts,

so, like, negative $11.

Well, I still have the money
I made from the Nap Sack.

I can use that.

Use that for what?

HANK: Thanks for the lift.

When I'm stressed, my driving gets

a little erratic.

(Tires screech, horns blaring)

This reassignment got me all twisted.

I can't live in the desert.

You know, those hills have eyes.

- Big, creepy eyes.
- And...?

- And I can't lose Deirdre again.
- There it is.

My only hope is that Evie's
plan comes together...

Okay. You know what? Um...

I would just really
appreciate you not using

the "E" word around me.

All my big top words have "E" in them.

Like, Easter, eagle...

eagles.

- Evie. That "E" word.
- Oh.

I still believe that our
timing will line up eventually,

but for now, I just want to
focus on my work, you know?

Becoming a real force in
the world of journalism.

Oh!

- Like Hunter S. Finger!
- What?

- Yeah!
- Aah!

- Watch out!
- Come on, come on,

- (Laughs)
- come on, come on.

But yes. Exactly.

That's right, T-stop.

You've been wasting too
much time getting mixed up

with that Covington woman.

And that Xavier man.

Okay. Uh, you know what?

Let's just lose the "X"
word, while we're at it.

I never want to hear
that name ever again.

MAN: Xavier Holliday.

They want to run the
story you wrote on him

in next week's issue.

Uh, yeah. That was a hit piece.

Uh, so Marlo and I had an agreement

that we weren't gonna run it.

WOMAN: Marlo's undercover in Honduras.

She won't be back for months.

I'm Talia Chevalier,
the new editor in chief.

Marlo told me all about you.

She said you were "solid wood"

and then she punched
me hard in the thigh.

Do you have any idea
what she meant by that?

I, uh... No. Not really.

I loved your piece

on this Xavier guy. He is a model

of the typical post-election American.

Totally terrified that the
end of the world is coming

via a fiery orange nightmare
barreling straight toward us.

But we need a legitimate scientist

to officially debunk his
asteroid calculations.

Uh, yeah. It... it might be tough

to find somesoe qualified
on such short notice.

I have someone. Tyra DeNeil Fields.

Uh. (Chuckles softly) You...

You know Tyra DeNeil Fields?

Yeah. I wrote a profile on her
for Scientific American

a few years back.

We've been friends ever since.

DEIRDRE: Wow. Amazing.

This place looks completely different.

One vending machine,

and two microwaves?

This will take some getting used to.

EVIE: All right.

Our objective is to
seek out the other people

who hold your jobs,
uncover their true passions,

and convince them to quit.

Won't people think it's weird

if we're just wandering
around, showing random interest

in people's lives?

Not to worry. (Chuckles)

See, that's Craig.

He's head of HR. I
told him all four of us

were shadowing for the week,
to see how other branches work.

Deirdre,

your target is Debbie Meyers,

the Tacoma branch manager.

She has an affinity for sea otters,

and her celebrity crush is Josh Groban.

- John Grabun.
- EVIE: Kareema,

you'll talk to the lead customer
service rep, Carrie Batra.

For some reason, she's not on
any social networking sites.

- Cyberghost.
- Cyberghost.

Hank and I will talk to Frank Buckman,

quality control manager.

According to his profile
page, he's into whittling

and making his own salmon jerky.

I know a thing or two
about both salmon jerky

and interrogation techniques.

I'll be able to resist his resistance

if he's resistant.

Okay.

We can do this. I know it. Okay.

News Radio on three.

Huh... No. It's probably an overreach.

So... Totally. I get it. It's cool.

Thank you for sitting down with us,

- Frank...
- (Buzzes sound)

- Hey, Frank.
- Hi.

Really wanted to give you
this bag of salmon jerky.

Well, that would be swell...

Yeah. But my partner won't let me.

Wait. That's not true.

- What... Evie!
- What?

What... I'm the good
cop, you're the bad cop.

Why do I have to be the bad cop?

- Okay, fine. We'll switch.
- Okay.

Do you ever want to see
your family again, Frank?

Okay. No. Wait, wait. Why are
we doing good cop, bad cop?

Okay, 'cause I'm trying
to build a rapport with him

so that he can divulge his
innermost secrets to us.

Okay. Why don't we just ask him?

Fine. We'll ask him.

Uh, do you have a hobby
or activity that you love,

something you wish you could
devote more of your life to?

Well, actually, I do have
a passion for candle making.

Candle making. (Chuckles)

FRANK: Yeah. I started making them

in the event of a power grid failure.

But then I just fell in
love with the process.

You know, started adding scents.

(Gasps)

This one's called Nature's Medley.

What-what part of nature?

It's delightful!

FRANK: Oh! Well, take it with you.

I got a hundred of those babies at home.

I tried selling them, but no luck.

Artisanal candle market
is a cutthroat business.

XAVIER: I don't think
this is gonna work.

Sure it will. His regular
driver said Cory Casey

will walk out of these
doors at 9:26 a.m. exactly.

So... And he doesn't make eye contact,

so he's not gonna even
notice you're a different guy.

Is that the only intel you've got?

Yeah.

Bribery rates have greatly
outpaced inflation.

(Exhales)

Plus, if things start
going south with this dude,

you always got this.

Horse tranquilizer?

Yeah. Better than chloroform.

You can slip those bad
boys into anything...

food, water, pillboxes.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Well, sell gold, buy latex.

And, uh, oh. And tell Gigi and Bella

I can't make it to Burning Man.

Right. Well, I-I know
they're gonna be disappointed,

it's disappointing.

You're not the other guy.

No. I'm the... new guy.

Nap Sack guy.

Yeah, well, uh...

- I can explain that...
- No, no, no.

No need to explain. That you
had to get a job as a chauffeur

because you blew all your
money on something dumb.

Let's hope you're wrong.

So, we discovered Frank's
passion, but I'm not sure

how much help it's gonna
be. How did you guys do?

I had a social interaction with Deborah,

and I can say, unequivocally,

the woman is a complete nightmare.

Hi!

DEIRDRE: Oh, God!

All right. Um...

Kareema, how'd it go with Carrie?

Not great.

She might be a ninja.

Oh, well. Not the best first
day, but we will keep at it.

Oh, maybe this thing smells better lit.

DEIRDRE: Evie, I recognize your aim

is noble, but I wonder if your
plan might be unachievable.

She's right. We only have
a few more days left here.

I should be looking for
leather bars in Detroit.

Oh. Come on, you guys.

We can't give up.

We've just had a few setbacks.

(Groans)

(Coughs)

HANK: Oh, man!

That smells like the
elephant room in the zoo.

I can't eat now.

- You're not the only one.
- HANK: Oh!

I can't even stress
eat around that thing.

If only I had that candle six
years ago when I divorced Pete,

or three years ago,
when I divorced Pete.

I know how we can help Frank.

CORY: So I told Musk
to stop thinking small.

Forget electric cars, how
about electric streets?

Oh, oh. Hang... Hang
on, I got to take this.

- (Beeps)
- Hello? Hello.

I just... I just said hello.

- (Beeps)
- Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Okay. I think I
just tushie-dialed myself.

Mr. Casey, I know that you're
a very busy man, but I wonder

if I could have just have a
moment of your time...

- (Beeps)
- CORY: Aaron Dubonski! Doobey! Hey!

Yeah, well, when you watch my
new shuttle Loretta arc

into the stratosphere, you'll
wish you had come work for me,

but no, no, no. You got
to impress your parents

and pick NASA, right?

(Cory chuckles)

Hey, uh, Sack guy.

Turn down Winter Street, please.

My GPS says that Plymouth is faster.

Yeah, I appreciate your input,
but I always take Winter.

CORY: Doobey, you want
to hang on a second?

Mr. Casey, look, I know
you're a very busy man,

but I have something
to discuss that I think

is gonna be of massive interest...

Slow down.

Don't say another word.

CORY: Doobey, you still there?

All right, so what is
the budget over at NASA

these days, is it $14?

Hello, Ms. Fields, this
is Timothy L. Finger

from ImPropaganda.

Talia Chevalier suggested I reach out.

Why'd you say her name like that?

- What?
- (Lusty): Talia Chevalier.

You got a thing for her?

What? No. I...

Um, I-I'm writing an article on a man

who has a very controversial
theory that falls

within your area of expertise.
I was hoping you could just take

a look at it. Check the math.

Well, my schedule is pretty packed,

but for Talia Chevalier,

I'll try to figure something out.

No promises.

Oh, and, Finger? Good luck.

She's a tough catch.

(Chuckles softly)

I'd like this lady to be
fleshed out a little bit more.

We need to...

XAVIER: This is promising.

I mean, it's almost too perfect.

The guy was talking to a
friend of his at NASA today.

Then why beat around the bush, cuz?

Just lock the doors and lay it on him.

No, what I need to do is
ingratiate myself with him,

gain his trust.

That way he'll want to listen to me.

(Xavier exhales)

This house is the key to it all.

Come on.

Hi. Um, my name's Xavier Holliday.

I was... I was wondering
if you know Cory Casey?

Is she an Alpha Pi?

Um... No, more like an alpha guy.

MAN (calling): Dude, these
pizza bagels are cold!

I got to go. Good luck
finding that chick.

It's 'cause you didn't preheat the oven!

You got to pre-heat the oven!

I don't know about you, but
now I'm craving pizza bagels.

Yep.

(Exhales)

Dude.

Loretta.

(Whispers): Loretta.

Dude. Cory Casey's naming his
new space shuttle Loretta.

This can't be a coincidence.

EVIE: Your passion

- is candle making, right, Frank?
- Yeah.

Unfortunately, your candles
smell like a Dumpster

filled with other, smaller,
but equally pungent Dumpsters.

HANK: Luckily,

there's a beneficial side effect.

It kills your appetite.

So, we decided to use
that as a selling tool.

I give you: Diet Candles!

"The candles that melt... away fat!"

I built the site last
night. You already have

186 preorders at 20 bucks a pop.

A hundred and eighty six?

If I keep this pace up,

I'd make more than I do here.

- I could...
- HANK: Uh-huh.

Follow your passion full-time?

And quit my job and
start my own business.

- (Laughs)
-

Well, one down, two to go.

- Phew.
- Boo...

Yah.

Okay, we got Hank a spot,
so we're down to two targets.

Oh, hey, Craig.

Just over here shadowing.

Loving it. Learning so much.

- Getting a lay of the land.
- Oh, man.

Look at all this land.

It's so outlandish.

Okay, we're on a roll, guys,

so let's keep going. Next
up, Debbie and Carrie.

Whoo-hoo!

It appears you're attracted to limbo.

- (Laughs)
- What?

Oh, no, I just put this together
for the shipping department.

Really stretches their backs.

Nice one.

You're interested in my interests?

Yeah.

Well, I don't really have any.

EVIE: Oh, come on, everybody
has something that they're into.

Naked street luge, faking your
own death, catfishing Bonnie Hunt.

You know, things people do for fun.

Competitive taxidermy,
making your own sex furniture,

selling actual grass to teenagers.

Giraffe mating videos, watching
old people eat cheesecake,

playing the nose flute,
shaving men's backs,

buying illegal fireworks,
selling illegal fireworks,

spitting off of tall buildings,

drinking ketchup, come on,
there has to be something.

Power thrusting, macaroni sex,

Celtic thunderboarding,

Embroidery?

I-23.

Excuse me, please tell me

you have a particular
affection for bingo.

Oh, no, but the employees love it.

It's such a great way
for them to unwind.

This is impossible.

All she does is organize
things for other people.

N-42.

- Bingo!
- CRAIG: Bingo!

Do we have two winners?

Mine was a... just... lightbulb moment.

I've got a plan.

I'm calling my uncle.

CORY: Well, I told him,

second rule of fight club is

bring snacks. (Chuckles)

I'll-I'll call you back.

(Beeps)

XAVIER: You miss Loretta?

How do you know about Loretta?

Well, I know she used to live there and

that she's the reason

you drive down Winter Street every day.

She must've been
someone important to you.

-

A long time ago.

Loretta lived in that house.

We were in love.

What happened?

Cybermart happened.

People saw my genius and
the business took off.

I let our relationship fall apart.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, why not look her up, you know?

Try and talk to her?

What, so she can tell how, uh,
perfect her life is without me?

Husband, kids, two cats and a dog.

Why twist the knife?

Better just to remember what we had.

Anyway, onward and upward.

(Sighs)

(Liquid pouring)

Hey, so Tyra said that she'll
try and vet Xavier's theory

by tomorrow, but she's pretty busy.

Might not hurt to have a backup.

This is a guy at the Jet Propulsion Lab

in Pasadena. He owes me.

Cool. Oh.

I'm also gonna need
your cell phone number.

What for?

Well, it would be weird

to call your work phone to ask you out.

Are you hitting on me?

Yes.

Your boss? At work?

Correct.

All right.

Don't text me emojis or
you're dead in the water.

Okay, catch you later, all right?

Hey, um,

- hi, excuse me.
- Hi. (Gasps)

I'm sorry, I thought
that was my last meeting.

Are you here for a conference?

Not exactly, um...

your name's Loretta Stevens, right?

Yes. And your child is?

Cory Casey.

You can call us the fairy godmothers,

because we just made
another dream come true.

What? You got Debbie to quit?

- (Softly): Yeah.
- Well, Deborah was so busy

organizing fun things for other people,

we didn't think she had time
for her own passions. Right?

Yeah. that's right, baby doll.

But organizing fun things for
other people is her passion.

As soon as I realized that, I
knew the perfect job for her.

"Cruise ship activities director."

My uncle's gonna hook her up.

She can bring joy to others

all day long for some reason.

- Two down, one to go!
- (Chuckles)

KAREEMA: I'm working on that.

I figure if Carrie's so
boring during the day,

she must get into something
deviant and exciting at night.

So I found a way to keep track of her.

What way is that?

I had Hank install a
tracking device on her phone.

- You guys!
- What?

Listen, blondie, you
want to play by the rules

or you want to keep the gang together?

Well, the second one.

- There it is.
- Hoorah.

- (Phone chimes)
- Oh!

Looks like the target's on the move.

We've been following
her for over an hour

and all she's done is get a
plain bagel and buy stamps.

And now a barbershop?

I don't want to watch
this lady get a haircut.

Come on.

(Door bell jingles)

Where'd she go?

HANK: Maybe she's
more than a cyberghost.

Maybe she's a ghost ghost.

Uh, excuse me, did you see a young woman

come in here about 20 seconds ago?

What's harder to catch
the faster you run?

HANK: I love riddles.

What's harder to catch
the faster you run?

Uh... catch...

Your breath!

Ooh!

Oh, such a turn on.

(Hank laughs)

(People chattering)

Oh.

I don't see Carrie anywhere.

(People gasp)

(Drumroll)

(Stammers)

DIERDRE: Craig?

We are tonight's entertainment.

The Merry... Magic...

Makers.

KAREEMA: Oh, that's her thing.

(Applause)

- Wow.
- Wow.

No, it's in my left
hand... left hand drawer.

It's in the left hand drawer.

- Just look for it.
- (Phone chimes)

(Tires squealing)

Hey! We're going the wrong way!

What are you doing? Where are you going?

You know, I've been thinking a lot about

taking chances recently.

Stop this car right now.

About having the courage
to-to go for the long shot.

- What are you talking about?
- I mean, haven't you ever wondered

if Loretta Stevens has
been thinking about you

this whole time, too?

- Eh, well...
- I mean, maybe she's still single

- Wha...?
- and living in Seattle.

Maybe she'd love to grab a
coffee with you, and catch up,

and talk about old times.

In fact, maybe she rushed
over here after school,

got out just so she could
come to this very cafe,

and wait for you to walk in.

What on earth?

I'm just trying to show you what happens

if you take a chance on the long shot.

(Breathes sharply)

Well, maybe...

maybe don't take the
hoverboard, you know?

- Use your legs.
- Right.

Right.

-

I got your note about
some amazing opportunity.

We, uh, caught your performance
at the club last night.

I see great promise in you.

And I should know.

As, years ago, I took David
Copperfield as a lover.

- You did?
- Yep, and she's still friends with him.

And I'm almost totally fine with that.

After your show last
night, I made a call

to Dave and, um,

well, we talked about you.

And he has agreed

to make you an apprentice.

You'd get to learn from the master.

Perform magic full-time.

Full-time?

Yes.

No, thanks.

- But magic is your passion.
- No, it's not.

Do you like '90s rock?

Because I have an in there, too.

Well, hold on, we walked
through that big closet

into the smoky club.

You were doing magic in
front of all those people.

I don't love magic.

I love Craig.

I've had a thing for him ever
since I started working here.

I kept hoping he'd notice
me. A couple months ago,

he put out a flyer looking
for someone to do magic with.

Now I spend two nights a
week doing that stupid show.

But I get to be near Craig.

Even though I haven't
told him how I feel yet.

Guess this means you're not
leaving Cybermart anytime soon.

CARRIE: And leave Craig?

Never.

Hey, Craig!

Yo.

Hi. You free for dinner tonight?

Uh, yes, uh, yeah, I am free. Yeah.

Great.

So is Carrie. You two should go.

Oh.

I'd love that.

Me, too.

Really?

Sometimes you got to take a leap.

Other times, you got to get pushed.

Yeah. Totally.

- Bye. Next week?
- Yes.

- Bye.
- Bye.

(Laughs softly)

That looked like it went well.

It couldn't have gone better.

We-we have an actual date next week.

I haven't been this
excited about the future

since Back to the Future.

Well, speaking of the future,

um, there's something I'd
like to discuss with you.

EVIE: I can't believe
we're really leaving.

- Finished.
- KAREEMA: I hate packing.

You know, it was really sweet,
what you did for Carrie.

Yeah, well,

I figured somebody should
get what they wanted today.

EVIE: I feel awful.

If only we had more time.

KAREEMA: Let's get Deirdre
and head to the bar.

Days like this were invented for booze.

You know what, why don't you guys

go ahead, I'll just...

I'll catch up.

(Giggles)

TIMOTHY: You okay?

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I was supposed to pick
up Hank from work today.

He just left with Deirdre.

They're celebrating
their move to Tacoma.

Mm.

Well, I'm glad those
two are gonna make it.

Yeah. Me, too.

How you doing?

With the branch closing and everything.

Not great. I...

helped all these people go
after their dreams this week

and I just keep putting off mine.

Well, you shouldn't.

You should be bold.

I've been trying it
out and so far, so good.

ImPropaganda is gonna run the article

I wrote on Xavier next week.

What?

As part of the fact-checking,

we sent his theory
to Tyra DeNeil Fields.

And she just got back to me.

You should take a look at her response.

The asteroid is real and it's coming.

But with your help,

we can stop it.

Well, that's completely insane.

However, a lot of people used
to say that my ideas were insane.

All right, this is a
restaurant in Houston.

The head of NASA is going to
have dinner there tomorrow,

but his dinner date is gonna cancel.

You'll show up instead
and present your theory.

This is amazing.

Thank you.

H-how do you know his...

his dinner date's gonna cancel, though?

The dinner date was
me. Give Doobey my best.

(Laughs softly)

There you are.

You're two "wodkas" behind.

Sorry I'm late,

but I've got great news.

I got you a job at the Tacoma branch!

What? How?

I mean, what? How?

You're gonna be running the
Getters & Givers program.

But, that's your job.

Not anymore.

I just quit. (Laughs)

HANK: What? You quit?

EVIE: Yes and it was the right decision.

Look at what you did this week.

Staying up all night to
build Frank a Web site,

setting up Carrie and Craig.

You didn't just do those
things to open up a position,

you did them because
you like helping people.

Okay, that's gross.

Kareema, as much as you try to deny it,

it's your passion.

It's number four on your
apocalyst, right after

(whispers): "sex on a ski lift".

I can't let you do this.

It's already done.

HANK: Wow!

Are your tear ducts functional?

It appears so.

If you tell anyone I cried about this,

I will cut you.

I will cut all of you.

- (Clears throat)
- HANK: Oh...

- Oh...
- No, get off of me now.

- Stop it.
- (Evie laughing)

Stop touching me.

- Oh.
- Oh, hello there.

Fantastic, you're back.

Sorry, I didn't know

exactly what to pack, so I just
grabbed a little of everything.

You have a ton of beanies.

Pack?

For Iceland.

I never cancelled our tickets.

We can make it if we hurry.

I thought you couldn't
get time off work.

Well, that was before I quit my job.

You quit your job?

The northern lights will
only be at peak visibility

for a few more days this year,

and I've always wanted to see them.

So have you, so, let's go!

I am taking the leap.

Evie, I can't go.

Why not?

Because I finally just
got Cory Casey's attention.

He's putting me in touch
with the head of NASA.

I'm going to Houston tomorrow.

You don't need to go to Houston.

(Sighs) Yes, I do.

No, you don't.

Timothy gave your theory

to Tyra DeNeil Fields.

He was fact-checking it for his article.

This is her response.

You were wrong, Xavier.

This can't be.

Tyra was the one person
in the whole world

you trusted to look at this.

And now she has and she says it's wrong.

It doesn't make any sense.

I know it must be hard to hear,

I know how much time
you've put into this.

But it doesn't mean you're wrong about

the way you live your life.

Can't you see, this is good news.

She must have made a mistake.

No, Xavier, please.

Just come with me.

Live in the moment, like
you always told me to.

Look, I just...

I just need a bit of time
to look at this, all right?

Just to see what it says.

I just told you what it says.

I need to look through it myself!

This can't... this can't be right.

Okay, you know what? You need to decide

what's more important to you.

Obsessing over this theory...

or us.

I am... I'm going to the airport.

And I hope you meet me there.

(Door opens, slams closed)

"After a thorough investigation,
I can say unequivocally

that this theory is
totally without merit."

(Muttering softly)

"Theta must be between zero and pi."

Oh, my God, I'm wrong.

I'm wrong.

I'm wrong.

I'm wrong...

I'm wrong! (Laughs)

I'm wrong!

Hot Crock-Pot of melted cheesiness!

You can't tell me there's
no time to celebrate, cuz.

There's no time to celebrate.

- What?
- Because I'm wrong!

- What do you mean?
- (Laughs) We've got a future.

I can spend a lifetime with Evie.

Mwah!

Oh, my God, we got
to get to the airport.

Go, go, go, get out! Get
out, get out, we got to go!

MAN (over P.A.): Flight 2354,

with service to Reykjavik, now boarding.

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

Come on, mate, put your foot down.

I'm driving as fast as
I'm comfortable with.

We're also pulling a trailer.

Plus, are you sure about this, cuz?

I don't know Tyra,

but you're the smartest
person I've ever met.

And this is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity. NASA!

Are you sure you don't want
NASA to double-check everything?

No, mate, because I
was wrong, all right?

And I let it take priority over Evie.

I just want to get to the
bloody airport on time.

Come on, mate, get out of the way!

Hey, cuz, we'll get you there, okay?

Just try and relax. Sit
back, take a deep breath.

Here, have some water.

Oh, God.

Mm, mm!

Take the left lane. Go, go, go!

_

(Chuckles)

_

_

(Chuckles)

(Yells)

Hello, Mr. Finger.

What... What are you doing here?

Who are they?

They're from a government
agency I've been working with.

And we're here because
we need your cooperation.

Hey, Jesse, man, you
just missed the exit!

You got to turn around!

We're not turning around, cuz.

What are you doing, man?

(Speaking incoherently, slurring)

(Speaking incoherently) Mog islands.

- Relax.
- (Groans)

Horses love this stuff.

XAVIER: Did you drug me?

Oh, that...

(Intercom chimes)

WOMAN (over intercom):
Ladies and gentlemen,

please turn off your electronic
devices and prepare for takeoff.

Tell me everything you know

about the asteroid theory.

Why? Uh, you... you said it was wrong.

You-you-you proved it was wrong.

I altered the math.

It was a necessary step.

I had to ensure

it wouldn't get further
traction with ImPropaganda

or anyone else.

The asteroid theory?

The math is accurate.
It's a credible threat.

Oh, good Lord.

You need to tell me
whose theory this is.

Because I need to speak
to that person immediately.

TYRA: The fate of the
world may depend on it.

(Rumbling)

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