All language subtitles for No Tomorrow s01e05 No Regrets.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,615 --> 00:00:28,797 - Previously on No Tomorrow... - You two are seeing each other, too? 2 00:00:29,831 --> 00:00:34,210 I subscribe to the notion of ethical non-monogamy. 3 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,698 He's not as safe and vanilla as your previous boyfriends, 4 00:00:36,728 --> 00:00:38,428 and that's a good thing. 5 00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,110 I've never dated casually. 6 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,513 You know, it's really something I should try. 7 00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:42,552 - You know? - Yeah. 8 00:00:42,582 --> 00:00:44,547 - I added some dating apps. - (Wolf whistle) 9 00:00:44,548 --> 00:00:45,963 Deirdre whispered in my ear 10 00:00:45,993 --> 00:00:47,502 and something happened. 11 00:00:47,532 --> 00:00:50,300 - Are you into Deirdre? - I have an Internet girlfriend. 12 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:51,477 Who you've never actually met. 13 00:00:51,478 --> 00:00:53,578 You want to have some real fun?! 14 00:00:55,211 --> 00:00:57,055 I can't do this. 15 00:00:57,085 --> 00:00:59,745 _ 16 00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:05,494 17 00:01:08,245 --> 00:01:09,439 - You ready? - Yeah... 18 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:10,439 (Grunts) 19 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:11,790 (Muffled): Ready. 20 00:01:11,907 --> 00:01:12,906 Okay. 21 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,877 Okay, on the count of three. 22 00:01:14,878 --> 00:01:16,831 Three, two... 23 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,885 (Squealing) 24 00:01:20,886 --> 00:01:22,607 (Laughing) 25 00:01:24,873 --> 00:01:25,910 (Screams) 26 00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,264 (Gasps) 27 00:01:27,294 --> 00:01:29,427 _ 28 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:30,914 (Whooping) 29 00:01:30,915 --> 00:01:32,322 (Whoops) 30 00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:33,788 Whoo-hoo! 31 00:01:33,818 --> 00:01:37,305 = synced and corrected by Shahrazade = ... www.addic7ed.com ... 32 00:01:37,335 --> 00:01:39,032 So, what's next? 33 00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:40,946 Mm... 34 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:44,901 Number 36, spend the night in a blanket fort. 35 00:01:44,902 --> 00:01:47,855 You know, my mom always worried that I'd suffocate. 36 00:01:47,885 --> 00:01:51,213 As much as I would love to cross off number 544 on my list, 37 00:01:51,243 --> 00:01:52,889 which is, have sex in a blanket fort, 38 00:01:52,890 --> 00:01:56,309 I can't help but notice you keep on skipping over number 17. 39 00:01:56,339 --> 00:01:59,860 - Oh, Francis Fernberger. - _ 40 00:01:59,861 --> 00:02:01,709 We called her "Fern." 41 00:02:03,301 --> 00:02:05,464 (Sighs) And I think I ruined her life. 42 00:02:05,494 --> 00:02:06,885 Ah. 43 00:02:06,886 --> 00:02:09,839 Yeah, regrets are the hardest ones. 44 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,290 I'll tell you what. 45 00:02:11,471 --> 00:02:13,635 You tackle number 17, 46 00:02:13,665 --> 00:02:16,100 and I will tackle one of my hard ones. 47 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:18,238 _ 48 00:02:18,497 --> 00:02:19,553 - Yeah? - Yeah. 49 00:02:19,583 --> 00:02:21,581 So, what happened with Fernie Fernberger? 50 00:02:21,611 --> 00:02:25,253 Well, we were best friends in high school. 51 00:02:25,702 --> 00:02:28,618 Until the day before color guard co-captain tryouts. 52 00:02:28,619 --> 00:02:30,627 - I get knocked down... - Five, six, seven, eight. 53 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,469 EVIE: Little pump, little pump. 54 00:02:32,499 --> 00:02:34,631 And five, six, seven, eight. 55 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,635 One, two, three, four, 56 00:02:36,636 --> 00:02:38,593 behind, circle, down. 57 00:02:38,594 --> 00:02:40,593 Grab one, down two, 58 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:43,900 down back, circle, circle, circle... 59 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,909 That's how you do Biscuits and Gravy! 60 00:02:46,939 --> 00:02:48,392 (Whoops) 61 00:02:48,422 --> 00:02:50,922 You grew a lot this summer, but it still works. 62 00:02:50,952 --> 00:02:52,993 Gives us two levels of flags. 63 00:02:52,994 --> 00:02:54,571 Can you imagine, Fern? 64 00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:57,014 By this time tomorrow, we could be color guard co-captains! 65 00:02:57,015 --> 00:02:58,018 Ooh... 66 00:02:58,019 --> 00:03:00,027 - We got this. - (Laughs) 67 00:03:00,621 --> 00:03:01,972 Oh. 68 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:04,409 Made you a special copy of our music. 69 00:03:04,439 --> 00:03:06,018 Thank you! 70 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,136 (Music stops abruptly) 71 00:03:07,698 --> 00:03:08,997 FERN: Turds. 72 00:03:08,998 --> 00:03:10,990 The volleyball Barbies. 73 00:03:15,002 --> 00:03:18,735 Oh, they think they're so cool just because... 74 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:19,789 (Whispers): they're so cool. 75 00:03:19,790 --> 00:03:21,618 You, string bean. 76 00:03:21,648 --> 00:03:22,639 Me? 77 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:23,639 You play volleyball? 78 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,467 I mean, I have. 79 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,797 I think you could be our new spiker. 80 00:03:29,407 --> 00:03:31,579 Tryouts. Now. 81 00:03:34,661 --> 00:03:36,639 (Whispering) 82 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,702 83 00:03:46,895 --> 00:03:52,640 All that I love in a moment is gone 84 00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:55,304 I'm breaking... 85 00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:57,639 Fern never became a co-captain. 86 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,639 And without me, she was just another... 87 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,643 social leper in bright blue tights waving a flag. 88 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,977 That's why you need to do number 17 right now. 89 00:04:06,007 --> 00:04:07,664 Time is too precious for regrets. 90 00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:08,924 Okay, well, then what about you? 91 00:04:08,954 --> 00:04:11,145 I mean, what do you want to make right? 92 00:04:11,175 --> 00:04:12,245 Um... 93 00:04:12,275 --> 00:04:13,264 - (Phone chimes) - I'm starting to regr... 94 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:14,919 Sorry, that's Heartster, 95 00:04:14,949 --> 00:04:16,639 one of the dating apps Kareema installed. 96 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,802 Heartster's blowing up. 97 00:04:17,832 --> 00:04:18,856 - (Phone chimes) - (Laughs) 98 00:04:18,857 --> 00:04:20,078 - _ - Well, actually, no, 99 00:04:20,108 --> 00:04:21,043 - that one's CutieCall. - Uh-huh. 100 00:04:21,073 --> 00:04:22,777 Or maybe it's TrueSoulMate. 101 00:04:22,807 --> 00:04:23,806 I can't keep track. 102 00:04:23,807 --> 00:04:25,098 - (Phone chimes) - _ 103 00:04:25,128 --> 00:04:26,856 I'll stash it, though. Um... 104 00:04:26,857 --> 00:04:28,782 Okay, go. Your regret. 105 00:04:28,812 --> 00:04:31,144 _ 106 00:04:32,636 --> 00:04:33,929 Ah... 107 00:04:37,774 --> 00:04:39,789 - I stole my friend's - _ 108 00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:41,200 signed Frank Thomas rookie baseball card 109 00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:43,180 the summer after fifth grade. 110 00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:45,806 And then I pawned it. 111 00:04:46,090 --> 00:04:47,129 To buy nunchucks. 112 00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:48,545 (Chuckles): Nunchucks? 113 00:04:48,575 --> 00:04:50,427 It was fifth grade. I still have them. 114 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,822 So that's it? Just return a baseball card? 115 00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,144 (Sighs) 116 00:04:54,174 --> 00:04:55,789 It's a very, very, very rare... 117 00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:56,843 connection that we have. 118 00:04:56,844 --> 00:04:59,328 And now I'm starting to regret encouraging her 119 00:04:59,358 --> 00:05:01,311 to explore ethical non-monogamy in the first place. 120 00:05:01,341 --> 00:05:03,243 But I'd be a hypocrite to say that, because 121 00:05:03,273 --> 00:05:05,814 it's directly contradicting my own philosophy. 122 00:05:05,844 --> 00:05:07,008 You're being a wuss. 123 00:05:07,038 --> 00:05:08,277 I am not being a wuss. 124 00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:10,293 - You're being a wuss. - I'm not being a wuss. 125 00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:11,783 You're being a wuss, man. 126 00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:13,314 And... 127 00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:14,779 I get it. 128 00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:18,297 It's risky business caring deeply for someone. 129 00:05:18,298 --> 00:05:21,698 I can't tie her down when she's just starting to explore. 130 00:05:21,728 --> 00:05:24,335 You can't just sit back like an asshat 131 00:05:24,336 --> 00:05:26,277 and watch her date other guys if it's, 132 00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:27,604 if it's killing you. 133 00:05:27,634 --> 00:05:29,243 Sure I can. 134 00:05:29,244 --> 00:05:30,800 Her journey 135 00:05:31,128 --> 00:05:32,306 is her journey. 136 00:05:32,307 --> 00:05:34,301 Love doesn't work like that, my friend. 137 00:05:34,302 --> 00:05:36,251 It'll break your heart, steal your car 138 00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:37,946 and kick you in the beans. 139 00:05:37,976 --> 00:05:40,071 HANK: Mocha chocolate latte with whipped cream. 140 00:05:40,101 --> 00:05:42,851 Thank you, Hank. Please place it on my desk. 141 00:05:48,373 --> 00:05:50,301 One more thing. 142 00:05:50,302 --> 00:05:53,248 I can't seem to find my sticky notes. 143 00:05:55,850 --> 00:05:57,318 Found 'em. 144 00:05:57,319 --> 00:05:59,627 You always pick out such beautiful colors. 145 00:05:59,657 --> 00:06:02,297 I like lavender the best. It's so vivid. 146 00:06:02,298 --> 00:06:05,314 So, what's on your social calendar this evening? 147 00:06:05,315 --> 00:06:06,894 Practicing holding my breath. 148 00:06:06,924 --> 00:06:08,630 In case of a chemical attack. 149 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,884 Oh, sounds fun. 150 00:06:09,914 --> 00:06:11,453 Know what else is fun? 151 00:06:12,321 --> 00:06:15,240 (In slow motion): Salsa dancing. 152 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,302 (Exhales) 153 00:06:23,355 --> 00:06:25,318 EVIE: Lavender's a good color on you. 154 00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:27,239 - True. - Hey, favor? 155 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,306 Not really my thing. 156 00:06:28,307 --> 00:06:30,297 I need help finding a friend from high school... 157 00:06:30,298 --> 00:06:32,306 Francis "Fern" Fernberger. 158 00:06:32,307 --> 00:06:34,314 She's a ghost on social media. 159 00:06:34,315 --> 00:06:35,613 Try Google. 160 00:06:35,643 --> 00:06:36,830 I get a thousand pages 161 00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:38,306 for a veggie restaurant chain, 162 00:06:38,307 --> 00:06:39,755 Fernburgers. 163 00:06:39,785 --> 00:06:42,239 So you want me to see if she's ordered anything from Cybermart? 164 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,873 Ugh. Fine, I'll do it. 165 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,264 But only because it's against company policy. 166 00:06:46,265 --> 00:06:47,298 - (Kareema typing) - (Phone chimes) 167 00:06:47,328 --> 00:06:48,828 Found Your SoulMate! 168 00:06:49,264 --> 00:06:50,297 So how's the prowl? 169 00:06:50,298 --> 00:06:53,285 Oh, it is a dude buffet. 170 00:06:53,286 --> 00:06:56,569 Outdoorsy guys, bankers, bikers, gamers, 171 00:06:56,599 --> 00:06:59,264 one guy who makes his own cheese. 172 00:06:59,265 --> 00:07:03,285 You know, all these acronyms... ISO, LTR, DTF... 173 00:07:03,286 --> 00:07:04,869 which I figure is Downtown Friend... 174 00:07:04,899 --> 00:07:06,558 - Something like that. - (Computer beeps) 175 00:07:06,588 --> 00:07:07,909 Oh, found your Fernberger. 176 00:07:07,939 --> 00:07:09,759 She is a Cybermart customer. 177 00:07:09,789 --> 00:07:13,239 - Tell me everything. - Um, it's totally confidential, so... 178 00:07:13,269 --> 00:07:15,019 what do you want to know? 179 00:07:15,148 --> 00:07:17,797 What did... what did she last order? 180 00:07:18,344 --> 00:07:19,982 Let's see. 181 00:07:20,012 --> 00:07:23,740 Oh, 400 pounds of Hungry Whiskers Cat Food. 182 00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:25,289 I knew it. 183 00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:26,963 Crazy cat lady. 184 00:07:27,221 --> 00:07:28,227 (Sighs) 185 00:07:28,257 --> 00:07:30,297 Her life is a clich? and it's all my fault. 186 00:07:30,298 --> 00:07:31,479 I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 187 00:07:31,509 --> 00:07:32,996 And by bathroom, I mean smoke a joint. 188 00:07:33,026 --> 00:07:34,910 And If I accidentally keep your friend's info up, 189 00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:37,285 I can't prevent you from accidentally seeing it. 190 00:07:37,286 --> 00:07:39,244 - Thank you. - No problem. 191 00:07:41,575 --> 00:07:43,102 I'm tellin' you, T-Cakes, 192 00:07:43,132 --> 00:07:45,089 Douglas is gettin' vibes. 193 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,712 Deirdre's majorly into us. 194 00:07:46,742 --> 00:07:48,602 - Uh, Douglas? - My manhood. 195 00:07:48,632 --> 00:07:49,631 It's a family name. 196 00:07:49,632 --> 00:07:50,956 She knows when she whispers, 197 00:07:50,986 --> 00:07:52,818 it drives him loco. 198 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:55,572 She's playin' some sort of sadistic sex game with us. 199 00:07:55,573 --> 00:07:56,711 It can't happen. 200 00:07:56,741 --> 00:07:57,943 I mean, I'm her assistant. 201 00:07:57,973 --> 00:08:00,364 And plus, I'm in a very serious relationship 202 00:08:00,394 --> 00:08:01,734 with my Internet girlfriend. 203 00:08:01,764 --> 00:08:02,997 Who may not exist. 204 00:08:03,027 --> 00:08:06,066 @WinnieCooper534 is real! 205 00:08:06,096 --> 00:08:09,356 And I've been catfished enough times to know. 206 00:08:09,357 --> 00:08:10,957 This does not smell like catfish. 207 00:08:10,987 --> 00:08:12,939 You know, maybe this whole Deirdre situation 208 00:08:12,969 --> 00:08:16,558 is a sign that you and, uh, "Winnie" 209 00:08:16,588 --> 00:08:19,617 need to upgrade your relationship to IRL. 210 00:08:20,048 --> 00:08:22,221 - You're right. It's time. - Yeah. 211 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,735 Luckily, we have procedures 212 00:08:23,765 --> 00:08:26,086 - already in place. - _ 213 00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,665 You okay? You're grabbing your back and... 214 00:08:31,695 --> 00:08:33,205 Yeah, um... 215 00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,404 it's Bianca. 216 00:08:35,434 --> 00:08:37,670 - Mm. Purple hair? - Purple hair. Wrestling. 217 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,478 She's into something called "sex combat." 218 00:08:40,508 --> 00:08:43,952 Whoa... 219 00:08:44,289 --> 00:08:45,977 no... 220 00:08:45,978 --> 00:08:49,269 no, you need to be careful with that, T-Zone. 221 00:08:49,924 --> 00:08:51,989 (Whispering): Sh-She punched me in the pe... 222 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,951 I didn't hear you. Can you speak up? 223 00:08:53,952 --> 00:08:56,177 - Punched me in the... - What? 224 00:08:56,207 --> 00:08:58,685 - She punched me in the penis! - She punched you in the penis? 225 00:08:58,715 --> 00:09:00,108 Shh... 226 00:09:00,436 --> 00:09:01,939 Did it hurt? 227 00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:02,947 Yeah. 228 00:09:02,948 --> 00:09:03,956 Was it, like, a straight... 229 00:09:03,957 --> 00:09:05,348 did she jab it, or was it, like, 230 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,389 a left hook, or... 231 00:09:06,390 --> 00:09:07,669 It's har... I was fast asleep. 232 00:09:07,699 --> 00:09:09,623 - I just woke up in pain. - Oh... 233 00:09:09,653 --> 00:09:11,356 Anyway, that's why I'm filling out 234 00:09:11,357 --> 00:09:12,397 this TrueSoulMate app. 235 00:09:12,398 --> 00:09:13,682 - Oh. - Mm. 236 00:09:13,712 --> 00:09:15,208 Instead of matching you with a bunch of randoms, 237 00:09:15,238 --> 00:09:17,414 it just finds "the one." 238 00:09:17,415 --> 00:09:19,377 For you. 239 00:09:19,378 --> 00:09:21,356 All you got to do is upload a photo. 240 00:09:21,357 --> 00:09:22,557 (Phone chimes) 241 00:09:24,318 --> 00:09:25,983 Just like that, I'm back on the market. 242 00:09:26,013 --> 00:09:27,381 (Phone vibrates) 243 00:09:27,382 --> 00:09:30,247 Ah. And I got a hot date. 244 00:09:30,277 --> 00:09:31,811 Oh! 245 00:09:31,841 --> 00:09:34,381 "Affirmative. Meeting protocol engaged." 246 00:09:34,382 --> 00:09:35,652 Yeah! 247 00:09:35,682 --> 00:09:37,732 - That's hot. - Yeah, that is hot. 248 00:09:37,762 --> 00:09:39,882 - Super hot. - Yeah, we're hot. 249 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,385 I'm standing outside Fern's place 250 00:09:42,386 --> 00:09:43,401 and you know what, I'm really starting 251 00:09:43,402 --> 00:09:44,920 to rethink this whole thing. 252 00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:47,192 Why don't I just do something else on my list? 253 00:09:47,222 --> 00:09:48,343 There's so much. 254 00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:50,389 Because we both need to confront our regrets 255 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,819 while we still have the chance. 256 00:09:51,849 --> 00:09:53,401 It's too much. You know, once I see her, 257 00:09:53,402 --> 00:09:55,109 I'm gonna have to own the fact 258 00:09:55,139 --> 00:09:56,368 that I turned her into 259 00:09:56,369 --> 00:09:57,397 the type of person who has a Kitty Playground sign 260 00:09:57,398 --> 00:09:58,397 on her front door. 261 00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:01,294 - Evie. You can do this. - I'm bailing. 262 00:10:03,183 --> 00:10:04,833 WOMAN: Evie Covington?! 263 00:10:06,352 --> 00:10:09,419 Hey... Fern. 264 00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:19,193 What are you doing here? 265 00:10:19,223 --> 00:10:21,990 I... just looked you up. 266 00:10:21,991 --> 00:10:24,011 I... wanted to say hi. 267 00:10:24,012 --> 00:10:26,999 Hi. Come here, let me have a look at you. 268 00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:32,217 I mean... still amazing as ever. 269 00:10:32,247 --> 00:10:34,473 You... too. 270 00:10:34,852 --> 00:10:35,969 Do you live here? 271 00:10:35,970 --> 00:10:37,290 I work here. 272 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,302 Yeah, I-I started Best Pals Animal Sanctuary 273 00:10:39,303 --> 00:10:40,492 after grad school. 274 00:10:40,522 --> 00:10:42,040 Oh. 275 00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,098 It's so fulfilling. 276 00:10:43,099 --> 00:10:44,111 Some days I wonder 277 00:10:44,112 --> 00:10:45,650 - who is rescuing whom. - (Laughs) 278 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,386 Anyway, it is so great to see you. 279 00:10:47,416 --> 00:10:49,636 Come on in, let's catch up. 280 00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:52,452 Best Pals started as a small shelter 281 00:10:52,453 --> 00:10:54,440 dedicated to neglected cats. 282 00:10:54,441 --> 00:10:56,040 You probably saw the throwback 283 00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:57,444 Kitty Playground sign on the door. 284 00:10:57,445 --> 00:10:59,906 Oh, I... no, I didn't catch that, no. 285 00:10:59,936 --> 00:11:01,398 Over the years, we've expanded 286 00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,044 our shelters to 15 countries. 287 00:11:03,074 --> 00:11:04,407 We now rescue 288 00:11:04,408 --> 00:11:06,961 just about every kind of animal in need of love 289 00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:09,465 and nurturing and antibiotics. 290 00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:11,969 Like Rosie. 291 00:11:11,999 --> 00:11:14,085 Oh! 292 00:11:14,115 --> 00:11:16,402 Hi. 293 00:11:16,403 --> 00:11:19,889 Her mom was rescued from a flood in Uruguay. 294 00:11:19,919 --> 00:11:21,444 - Wow. - Yeah. 295 00:11:21,445 --> 00:11:23,444 I never swam so hard in my life. 296 00:11:23,445 --> 00:11:24,992 (Both laugh) 297 00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:26,712 Oh, well... 298 00:11:27,212 --> 00:11:30,982 I... I can't tell you how relieved I am to see 299 00:11:31,012 --> 00:11:32,969 what a success you are, Fern. 300 00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:34,368 - Relieved? - Yeah... 301 00:11:34,398 --> 00:11:37,601 that first day of sophomore year... 302 00:11:37,877 --> 00:11:39,969 I always felt terrible about skipping out 303 00:11:39,970 --> 00:11:42,510 on our color guard cocaptain tryouts. 304 00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:44,123 I'm so sorry. 305 00:11:44,153 --> 00:11:46,497 Well, that was ages ago. 306 00:11:46,527 --> 00:11:48,961 I know. I've just been worried this whole time that 307 00:11:48,991 --> 00:11:51,719 I might've derailed your life in some way because of it. 308 00:11:51,749 --> 00:11:52,996 Do I looked derailed? 309 00:11:53,026 --> 00:11:55,694 Gosh, no. You look gorg. 310 00:11:55,724 --> 00:11:57,098 All caps. 311 00:11:57,128 --> 00:11:58,136 And you're doing everything 312 00:11:58,137 --> 00:11:59,535 that I ever dreamed of. 313 00:11:59,565 --> 00:12:01,535 - What do you mean? - Well, I'd love to travel the world, 314 00:12:01,565 --> 00:12:03,298 give back in some meaningful way, so 315 00:12:03,328 --> 00:12:04,857 I've been trying to transfer 316 00:12:04,887 --> 00:12:07,490 into my company's cyber division, CyberHugs. 317 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,523 And there's an open spot they're going to fill 318 00:12:09,524 --> 00:12:12,633 by the end of the month and I think I have a good shot. 319 00:12:12,663 --> 00:12:13,788 WOMAN: Found your soul mate! 320 00:12:13,818 --> 00:12:15,151 Oh. Ugh. 321 00:12:15,181 --> 00:12:17,815 Sorry, my friend signed me up for these dating apps. 322 00:12:17,845 --> 00:12:19,813 - Holy... - Shiatsu. Look for an envelope 323 00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:22,593 with the word "Shiatsu." It's our code word. 324 00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:25,171 Oh. 325 00:12:25,201 --> 00:12:26,527 WOMAN: Found your soul mate! 326 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,050 Oh, good lord. 327 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,248 Bingo. 328 00:12:29,278 --> 00:12:30,564 (Laughs) 329 00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:33,358 (Laughs) 330 00:12:36,112 --> 00:12:37,793 Oh... man, that's really... 331 00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,281 Unbelievable. 332 00:12:39,282 --> 00:12:40,542 This guy's my ex... 333 00:12:40,572 --> 00:12:42,953 and that's my arm he chopped out of my own photo. 334 00:12:42,983 --> 00:12:44,307 But you match. 335 00:12:44,308 --> 00:12:45,502 Maybe that's a sign you guys 336 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,382 are meant to be, after all. 337 00:12:47,635 --> 00:12:48,990 No. 338 00:12:49,248 --> 00:12:50,244 No, I mean there's always 339 00:12:50,274 --> 00:12:51,302 that part of you that has 340 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,283 a hard time letting go of an ex, but... 341 00:12:53,313 --> 00:12:55,269 I've moved on. 342 00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:57,281 Oh, why do I have to reject him again? 343 00:12:57,282 --> 00:12:59,573 It's just salt in the wound. 344 00:12:59,603 --> 00:13:01,886 Maybe you should wait for him to do it. 345 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:03,281 Yeah. 346 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,044 (Laughs) 347 00:13:05,074 --> 00:13:07,081 This is nice. 348 00:13:07,082 --> 00:13:09,769 That we can just pick right up where we left off. 349 00:13:09,799 --> 00:13:11,862 It is nice. 350 00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:14,594 I just got the most fab idea. 351 00:13:14,624 --> 00:13:17,020 If we have any positions open here... 352 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:19,070 wouldn't it be fun to make a difference, 353 00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,505 you know, together? 354 00:13:20,535 --> 00:13:23,167 Wow, that would be amazing. 355 00:13:23,197 --> 00:13:25,073 Uh, but I'd... you know, I'd have to think it through. 356 00:13:25,074 --> 00:13:26,086 Great, let's get lunch tomorrow. 357 00:13:26,087 --> 00:13:27,369 We'll noodle it over. 358 00:13:27,399 --> 00:13:29,760 I'd love that, but I normally eat lunch 359 00:13:29,790 --> 00:13:31,453 in our cafeteria at work. 360 00:13:31,483 --> 00:13:34,423 However, tomorrow is Tater Tot Tuesday, 361 00:13:34,453 --> 00:13:35,481 if you want to join. 362 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,071 I would love to. 363 00:13:37,101 --> 00:13:38,140 Fun Fern Fact, 364 00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,990 Tater Tots are my fave. 365 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,019 I remember. 366 00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:44,590 Okay, great, well, I will... I'll see you tomorrow then. 367 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:45,661 She plays with puppies 368 00:13:45,662 --> 00:13:48,698 all day... and, Fun Fern Fact, 369 00:13:48,699 --> 00:13:53,089 she's been to Uruguay and Cambodia and Estonia. 370 00:13:53,119 --> 00:13:55,429 You know, I guess I didn't ruin her life after all. 371 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:58,821 Brilliant. Then you can cross 17 off your list. 372 00:14:02,183 --> 00:14:04,619 Uh... come to think of it, 373 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,982 Fern never actually accepted my apology. 374 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,374 I'm so sorry. 375 00:14:08,404 --> 00:14:10,694 Well, that was ages ago. 376 00:14:10,695 --> 00:14:12,440 Yeah, but you made the apology. 377 00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:14,571 - That's what counts. - No, but my number 17 378 00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:16,998 was "Get Fern's forgiveness." 379 00:14:17,028 --> 00:14:19,178 I don't think I've done that yet. 380 00:14:20,036 --> 00:14:21,038 Maybe she didn't think 381 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,536 I was being sincere. 382 00:14:24,028 --> 00:14:27,486 Tomorrow at lunch, I am gonna apologize so hard, 383 00:14:27,487 --> 00:14:28,527 Fern won't know what hit her. 384 00:14:28,528 --> 00:14:30,486 Yeah, I like your style. 385 00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:31,511 A sincerity tsunami. 386 00:14:31,512 --> 00:14:32,540 (Chuckles) 387 00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:34,523 How's the baseball hunt going? 388 00:14:34,524 --> 00:14:36,050 Eh, good news and bad news. 389 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,494 Okay, give me the good news. 390 00:14:37,495 --> 00:14:40,540 - I found the baseball card. - That was fast. 391 00:14:40,541 --> 00:14:41,787 Actually, it wasn't that hard to track. 392 00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:44,326 The serial number was a factorial prime. 393 00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:46,019 Hot nerd alert. 394 00:14:46,049 --> 00:14:47,502 (Chuckles) Okay. 395 00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:49,168 What is the bad news? 396 00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,469 - (Whispering): We can't steal that. - _ 397 00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:58,194 (Whispering): It's already stolen, Evie. 398 00:14:58,224 --> 00:15:01,224 We're just gonna return it to its rightful owner. 399 00:15:08,444 --> 00:15:10,204 - EVIE: Ow. - XAVIER: You're on my foot. 400 00:15:10,234 --> 00:15:11,733 EVIE (Whispering): I'm just trying to get my arm... 401 00:15:11,763 --> 00:15:12,762 ow... unpinned. 402 00:15:12,763 --> 00:15:14,573 - Ow. - Shh, shh, shh. 403 00:15:14,603 --> 00:15:15,366 You okay? 404 00:15:15,396 --> 00:15:16,745 Here's the plan, all right? 405 00:15:16,746 --> 00:15:18,276 Once the museum closes, 406 00:15:18,306 --> 00:15:19,737 we're gonna slip out of here, 407 00:15:19,738 --> 00:15:22,754 we're gonna swap the Frank Thomas card for this one. 408 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,724 What? No, Frank Thomas is way better looking 409 00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:25,724 than Nolan Ryan. 410 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:26,737 Yeah, but Ryan's cards 411 00:15:26,738 --> 00:15:28,008 are more valuable. 412 00:15:28,038 --> 00:15:29,716 Museum's getting it for a steal. 413 00:15:29,717 --> 00:15:30,842 (Phone beeps) 414 00:15:31,790 --> 00:15:34,749 So, um... how's-how's the whole, um... 415 00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:37,119 ethical non-monogamy journey going? 416 00:15:37,149 --> 00:15:38,274 Good. 417 00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:39,920 - Different, you know? - Mm. 418 00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:41,210 You? Yours? 419 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,958 Yeah, you know, I'm, um... 420 00:15:44,264 --> 00:15:45,592 journeying. 421 00:15:48,143 --> 00:15:49,958 - So, um... - Yeah? 422 00:15:49,988 --> 00:15:53,034 What should we do until the museum closes? 423 00:16:05,392 --> 00:16:06,642 (Gasps) 424 00:16:06,672 --> 00:16:07,933 Busted. 425 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:08,971 (Chomps) 426 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:11,223 You're not the first couple 427 00:16:11,253 --> 00:16:13,510 to go for a home run in that locker. 428 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,933 I'm gonna have to take you in. 429 00:16:14,934 --> 00:16:15,954 No, come on, mate. 430 00:16:15,955 --> 00:16:17,318 You don't want to do that. 431 00:16:17,663 --> 00:16:18,812 I don't? 432 00:16:18,842 --> 00:16:20,829 Well, think of all the paperwork. 433 00:16:22,153 --> 00:16:23,883 Well, there might be something we can work out. 434 00:16:23,884 --> 00:16:25,594 Uh, all right, n-name it. 435 00:16:25,624 --> 00:16:27,817 A kiss... with tongue. 436 00:16:28,871 --> 00:16:31,556 (Whispering): Kissing a law officer's on my list, so... 437 00:16:31,586 --> 00:16:33,491 Okay, deal. 438 00:16:34,166 --> 00:16:36,090 No, not-not you. 439 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,172 Him. 440 00:16:38,256 --> 00:16:39,393 Oh. 441 00:16:41,575 --> 00:16:42,641 Okay. 442 00:16:42,842 --> 00:16:43,842 Okay? 443 00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:47,805 Mm. 444 00:16:54,846 --> 00:16:56,829 (Smooching) 445 00:17:07,242 --> 00:17:08,242 Mm. 446 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,808 So... do you want to... 447 00:17:11,809 --> 00:17:13,813 hit any more bases or are we good? 448 00:17:15,104 --> 00:17:16,838 Great. 449 00:17:17,207 --> 00:17:19,737 _ 450 00:17:19,767 --> 00:17:21,767 Um. 451 00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:24,976 - Win-win. - Boom! 452 00:17:25,006 --> 00:17:27,537 You have big balls for a lady. 453 00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:28,566 Say again? 454 00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:30,413 You've been shopping around. 455 00:17:30,443 --> 00:17:31,545 I just hung up 456 00:17:31,546 --> 00:17:33,137 with a Francis Fernberger. 457 00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:34,178 Fern. 458 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,505 She informed me you're to have 459 00:17:35,535 --> 00:17:37,178 lunch today to discuss a job 460 00:17:37,179 --> 00:17:39,154 at Best Pals Animal Shelter. 461 00:17:39,155 --> 00:17:40,907 Oh. No. 462 00:17:40,937 --> 00:17:43,158 Well, Fern's an old friend, 463 00:17:43,159 --> 00:17:45,141 so she mentioned a possible job, 464 00:17:45,142 --> 00:17:48,584 but in a, in a very theoretical way. 465 00:17:48,825 --> 00:17:53,162 As you know, the CyberHugs position is still up for grabs. 466 00:17:53,163 --> 00:17:55,810 Your name crossed my mind... 467 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:56,820 in a very... 468 00:17:56,850 --> 00:17:58,890 theoretical way... 469 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,128 but now I am 470 00:18:00,129 --> 00:18:01,693 tempted to put the kibosh on it. 471 00:18:01,723 --> 00:18:03,762 No, please, don't... don't kibosh it. 472 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:08,766 Luckily for you, I found Fern delightful. 473 00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:10,804 She's a remarkable woman. 474 00:18:10,805 --> 00:18:14,833 Yeah, she can execute a Peggy Spin better than anyone I know. 475 00:18:15,530 --> 00:18:17,425 It's a flag thing, just, never mind. 476 00:18:17,455 --> 00:18:20,412 I, uh, would like to probe her brain for ways 477 00:18:20,413 --> 00:18:22,937 to improve our CyberHugs program. 478 00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:27,591 I could be swayed to unkibosh my recommendation 479 00:18:27,621 --> 00:18:30,296 should you choose to set up a lunch for Fern and myself. 480 00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:33,411 You... you want to eat Tater Tots with us? 481 00:18:33,441 --> 00:18:35,029 Your attendance is optional. 482 00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:37,050 (Gasps) 483 00:18:47,725 --> 00:18:48,838 I'm supposed to be here alone. 484 00:18:48,868 --> 00:18:50,937 Get... get back to your bench. 485 00:18:50,967 --> 00:18:52,332 - I'm breaking protocol. - Stop it. 486 00:18:52,362 --> 00:18:54,041 I'm bored. 487 00:18:54,272 --> 00:18:56,020 Oh, oh, oh! 488 00:18:56,629 --> 00:18:57,816 Go time. 489 00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:59,441 TIMOTHY: What? She's, like, 90. 490 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:00,520 HANK: With polymer 491 00:19:00,521 --> 00:19:02,312 latex prosthetics, Winnie could look any age. 492 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,342 - (Phone chimes) - _ 493 00:19:05,751 --> 00:19:07,147 Bianca still hittin' you up? 494 00:19:07,177 --> 00:19:09,354 Yeah. She wants to "chokeslam" me. 495 00:19:09,355 --> 00:19:10,383 I'm starting to get worried 496 00:19:10,384 --> 00:19:12,362 about your sex wrestling, tea bag. 497 00:19:12,363 --> 00:19:14,383 Yeah. Me, too. 498 00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:17,383 The Boston Crab isn't nearly as fun as it sounds. 499 00:19:17,384 --> 00:19:19,179 Well, that doesn't sound fun at all. 500 00:19:19,209 --> 00:19:21,212 WOMAN: Your soul mate is waiting. 501 00:19:21,213 --> 00:19:22,213 Damn! 502 00:19:22,652 --> 00:19:26,241 You still haven't pulled the trigger on Evie? 503 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,566 I just... 504 00:19:28,944 --> 00:19:30,478 I just keep thinking that... 505 00:19:30,508 --> 00:19:32,460 You know, maybe it's a sign... 506 00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:35,220 that we should still be together. 507 00:19:35,221 --> 00:19:38,183 Here's a sign. Wake up and reject her 508 00:19:38,184 --> 00:19:39,427 before she rejects you. 509 00:19:39,457 --> 00:19:40,785 Again. 510 00:19:40,815 --> 00:19:41,815 All right. 511 00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,233 I'm sorry. 512 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,900 Just... tough love. 513 00:19:45,930 --> 00:19:47,417 No. No, I get it. 514 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,191 I get it. 515 00:19:49,758 --> 00:19:51,947 Oh, hey, look, a food vendor. 516 00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:56,195 Shall I order you the catfish? 517 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,167 518 00:20:00,162 --> 00:20:01,593 She's real. 519 00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:04,033 Hey, um, yesterday in your office, 520 00:20:04,063 --> 00:20:05,587 I think there was some confusion. 521 00:20:05,617 --> 00:20:07,641 I wasn't trying to get a new job, 522 00:20:07,642 --> 00:20:10,466 so when you called my boss, I mean, it kind of, uh, 523 00:20:10,496 --> 00:20:12,424 it kind of got me in hot water. 524 00:20:12,425 --> 00:20:14,279 Evie, I feel terrible. 525 00:20:14,309 --> 00:20:15,948 It was just a standard reference check. 526 00:20:15,978 --> 00:20:17,358 I guess I got excited at the prospect 527 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,625 of working with a friend. 528 00:20:19,655 --> 00:20:20,763 I'm so sorry. 529 00:20:20,793 --> 00:20:25,291 That's okay. I totally forgive you. 530 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,308 And again, I want to reiterate 531 00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,337 how genuinely sorry I am 532 00:20:29,338 --> 00:20:32,308 about what happened back in high school. 533 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,855 Oh, is that Deirdre? 534 00:20:37,296 --> 00:20:39,267 Yeah. It is. 535 00:20:40,267 --> 00:20:41,324 WES: This is unreal. 536 00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:42,515 What brings the X-man 537 00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:44,337 to my Wesylum? 538 00:20:44,338 --> 00:20:49,963 Well, I came across something of yours. 539 00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:55,358 (Chuckling) 540 00:20:55,789 --> 00:20:57,324 Where did you find it, bro? 541 00:20:57,325 --> 00:20:59,313 Uh, in a case. 542 00:21:00,595 --> 00:21:03,358 An old Color Me Badd CD case, probably yours. 543 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,603 Well, thank you for bringing it back, man. 544 00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:08,324 Oh, that is absolutely my pleasure, man. 545 00:21:08,325 --> 00:21:11,304 Um, well, this has been great catching up, but... 546 00:21:11,305 --> 00:21:13,274 Hey, hey, hey, you know what's funny? 547 00:21:13,275 --> 00:21:15,312 Our cleaning lady growing up, Mrs. Barnes, 548 00:21:15,313 --> 00:21:17,371 she got fired over this. 549 00:21:18,061 --> 00:21:18,992 What? 550 00:21:19,022 --> 00:21:20,556 Yeah, we figured she was the one who took it, 551 00:21:20,586 --> 00:21:22,486 so my dad friggin' axed her. 552 00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:28,150 Do you know what happened to her? 553 00:21:28,180 --> 00:21:29,343 Who knows? 554 00:21:29,877 --> 00:21:32,814 Relax, bro, it's, uh, it's not the end of the world. 555 00:21:32,844 --> 00:21:36,284 Yeah... pretend like it is. 556 00:21:37,733 --> 00:21:40,719 Well, uh, she kept sending me birthday cards every year. 557 00:21:40,749 --> 00:21:42,525 I could dig 'em up, see if there's a return address. 558 00:21:42,555 --> 00:21:43,782 That would be great. 559 00:21:43,812 --> 00:21:45,316 That would be beyond great. 560 00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:46,987 (Laughter) 561 00:21:47,017 --> 00:21:48,983 And then, in ninth grade, 562 00:21:48,984 --> 00:21:51,008 Evie snarted in Brent Wellman's minivan 563 00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:52,587 after soccer practice. 564 00:21:52,617 --> 00:21:56,249 Oh, wait, back up. What's a snart? 565 00:21:56,279 --> 00:21:57,505 (Sneezes, flatulence) 566 00:21:57,535 --> 00:21:59,016 (Laughter) 567 00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,028 I've never laughed this hard sober. 568 00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:02,966 Evie, why have you been 569 00:22:02,967 --> 00:22:05,826 keeping Fern from us all this time? 570 00:22:05,856 --> 00:22:08,283 Oh, you know, friends drift apart. 571 00:22:08,313 --> 00:22:09,983 Yeah, Evie joined the volleyball team, 572 00:22:09,984 --> 00:22:11,634 so we both made new friends. 573 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:16,033 David... oh, Michael. Guys, can I eat? 574 00:22:16,743 --> 00:22:19,004 Fun Fern Fact, those lunches 575 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,978 inspired me to start Best Pals Animal Sanctuary. 576 00:22:21,979 --> 00:22:24,746 Because a bond with an animal 577 00:22:24,776 --> 00:22:27,041 is a bond for life. 578 00:22:27,042 --> 00:22:30,091 That's like the saddest best story ever. 579 00:22:30,121 --> 00:22:32,095 Animals, if properly neutered and cleaned, 580 00:22:32,125 --> 00:22:33,149 can have value. 581 00:22:33,150 --> 00:22:35,360 We had a pet turkey named Pretzel 582 00:22:35,390 --> 00:22:36,552 when I was a child. 583 00:22:36,582 --> 00:22:38,783 And he, of course, was slaughtered 584 00:22:38,813 --> 00:22:40,370 one year for Thanksgiving. 585 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,657 To this day, I can't bring myself to eat pretzels. 586 00:22:45,121 --> 00:22:47,120 I can't eat pretzels either. 587 00:22:47,121 --> 00:22:50,858 - It's a gluten thing. - CyberHugs does not yet have 588 00:22:50,888 --> 00:22:54,148 an animal rescue branch, but it certainly should. 589 00:22:54,178 --> 00:22:58,212 And I think someone with your experience should launch it. 590 00:22:59,313 --> 00:23:03,137 Well, Fern has a lot on her plate with her own organization. 591 00:23:03,138 --> 00:23:05,471 But if it were a consulting thing... 592 00:23:05,501 --> 00:23:06,851 Terrific. 593 00:23:06,881 --> 00:23:09,962 You can vet each animal charity 594 00:23:09,992 --> 00:23:12,949 to determine the ones most worthy of CyberHugs' donation. 595 00:23:12,979 --> 00:23:14,298 No. 596 00:23:14,328 --> 00:23:17,027 I mean, no way. That's-that's so exciting. 597 00:23:17,057 --> 00:23:18,566 (Chuckles) 598 00:23:18,567 --> 00:23:20,291 Welcome aboard, Fern. 599 00:23:20,321 --> 00:23:22,595 XAVIER: This is starting to get out of control. 600 00:23:22,596 --> 00:23:25,554 That stupid baseball card didn't just affect my mate... 601 00:23:25,555 --> 00:23:27,587 it ruined some poor cleaning lady's life as well. 602 00:23:27,588 --> 00:23:29,562 And now I've got to go find out where she lives 603 00:23:29,563 --> 00:23:31,408 so I can apologize. Ugh! 604 00:23:31,438 --> 00:23:33,993 This was supposed to be an easy one to cross off the list. 605 00:23:34,023 --> 00:23:36,232 Heavy load, man. 606 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:39,433 How's, uh, number 1259 607 00:23:39,434 --> 00:23:41,433 on the apocalyst comin' along? 608 00:23:41,434 --> 00:23:45,433 I am still trying to be Zen on that one. 609 00:23:45,434 --> 00:23:48,441 But just the thought of Evie with other guys, 610 00:23:48,442 --> 00:23:51,954 it's just like a shiv twisting in my side. 611 00:23:51,984 --> 00:23:55,964 Okay. Time for a coffee metaphor. 612 00:23:55,994 --> 00:23:58,573 Ever have Tanzania peaberry? 613 00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:00,920 Most people can't stomach it. 614 00:24:01,458 --> 00:24:02,804 Too acidic. 615 00:24:02,834 --> 00:24:06,475 But if you drink enough, the body adapts. 616 00:24:07,302 --> 00:24:08,802 Or you get an ulcer. 617 00:24:14,123 --> 00:24:17,416 Oh, wow. I didn't know that could be pierced. 618 00:24:17,417 --> 00:24:20,449 Uh, breeds box turtles? 619 00:24:20,857 --> 00:24:24,437 Is that a thumb or, uh... 620 00:24:24,438 --> 00:24:26,496 (Speaking indistinctly) 621 00:24:29,471 --> 00:24:30,838 ... in the environmental, health, 622 00:24:30,868 --> 00:24:33,479 and educational fields... 623 00:24:34,161 --> 00:24:35,748 Nice of you to join us. 624 00:24:35,778 --> 00:24:39,616 Sorry. I didn't realize we had a meeting scheduled. 625 00:24:39,617 --> 00:24:41,244 I e-mailed everyone last night. 626 00:24:41,274 --> 00:24:42,624 Proceeds earmarked 627 00:24:42,625 --> 00:24:45,620 for the animal welfare branch will benefit 628 00:24:45,621 --> 00:24:48,923 outfits like... Purrrfect Rescue. 629 00:24:48,953 --> 00:24:51,946 (Awwing, chuckling) 630 00:24:51,976 --> 00:24:54,247 - Okay, any questions? - Ooh! 631 00:24:54,277 --> 00:24:57,574 Um, Hank. Is that the same organization 632 00:24:57,575 --> 00:24:59,005 that plays the Sarah McLachlan music? 633 00:24:59,035 --> 00:25:01,645 It isn't, Hank, but, Fun Fern Fact, 634 00:25:01,646 --> 00:25:05,397 I am helping them secure an Evanescence ballad. 635 00:25:05,427 --> 00:25:06,884 (Chuckles) 636 00:25:06,914 --> 00:25:08,982 All right, that's my spiel. 637 00:25:09,012 --> 00:25:12,033 Um, but before you go, I just wanted to thank everyone 638 00:25:12,063 --> 00:25:14,359 for making me feel so welcome. 639 00:25:14,389 --> 00:25:17,754 I've never had a job that felt so much like family. 640 00:25:17,784 --> 00:25:20,788 (Applause) 641 00:25:26,717 --> 00:25:29,758 H-Hey, uh, I-I never got your e-mail, Fern. 642 00:25:29,759 --> 00:25:31,762 Hmm, that's strange. 643 00:25:32,053 --> 00:25:35,093 Oh, I accidentally misspelled your name. 644 00:25:35,123 --> 00:25:37,215 "Evil Covington." 645 00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:39,400 I'm so sorry. 646 00:25:44,089 --> 00:25:45,783 (Scoffs) 647 00:25:46,486 --> 00:25:49,762 That bitch has it out for me. 648 00:25:51,981 --> 00:25:53,895 649 00:26:00,222 --> 00:26:01,517 (Gasps) 650 00:26:01,647 --> 00:26:03,646 For crying out loud, Evie. 651 00:26:03,647 --> 00:26:06,041 Are you trying to turn me into a snarter? 652 00:26:06,071 --> 00:26:08,055 Do you have a minute? It's-it's about Fern. 653 00:26:08,085 --> 00:26:10,046 Oh. She's tremendous. 654 00:26:10,047 --> 00:26:11,541 I just put a call into corporate. 655 00:26:11,571 --> 00:26:13,046 I don't think we're gonna have to fill 656 00:26:13,047 --> 00:26:14,620 that full-time CyberHugs position after all. 657 00:26:14,650 --> 00:26:16,758 No, but that was supposed to be my position. 658 00:26:16,788 --> 00:26:19,096 Frankly, your loyalty issues concern me. 659 00:26:19,097 --> 00:26:20,728 You took an employment interview 660 00:26:20,758 --> 00:26:21,849 - elsewhere, - No, that wasn't... 661 00:26:21,879 --> 00:26:23,105 skipped out on our animal launch meeting... 662 00:26:23,106 --> 00:26:25,063 She never sent me the e-mail. 663 00:26:25,064 --> 00:26:27,063 The animals don't want your excuses, Evie, 664 00:26:27,064 --> 00:26:28,624 and neither do I. 665 00:26:29,262 --> 00:26:30,401 EVIE: Fern won't accept 666 00:26:30,431 --> 00:26:32,088 my apology, she embarrassed me 667 00:26:32,089 --> 00:26:35,038 in front of my colleagues, and she stole my dream job. 668 00:26:35,039 --> 00:26:37,541 You know, I think she has it out for me. 669 00:26:37,571 --> 00:26:39,288 Babe, you sound more paranoid than Hank. 670 00:26:39,289 --> 00:26:41,817 Fern's awesome. Warm heart, beautiful soul... 671 00:26:41,847 --> 00:26:43,296 What did she give you? 672 00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:45,296 Her company's box seats to the hockey game. 673 00:26:45,297 --> 00:26:47,284 There's something about a man with missing teeth... 674 00:26:47,285 --> 00:26:49,285 - Never mind. - It was just a gift 675 00:26:49,315 --> 00:26:51,213 for setting her up on TrueSoulMate. 676 00:26:51,243 --> 00:26:52,832 Speaking of which, how's the bone patrol going? 677 00:26:52,862 --> 00:26:54,945 Have you PNP'd any VGLs? 678 00:26:54,975 --> 00:26:56,288 Good-ish. 679 00:26:56,289 --> 00:26:59,076 Did you know dogs can sniff out buried human remains 680 00:26:59,106 --> 00:27:01,127 better than any machine? 681 00:27:02,135 --> 00:27:03,938 Gnarliest barrel ever. Dropped in, 682 00:27:03,968 --> 00:27:05,395 got sucked up, hit the lip. 683 00:27:05,425 --> 00:27:06,518 It was like, baw! 684 00:27:06,548 --> 00:27:08,288 My doctor thinks it's allergies. 685 00:27:08,289 --> 00:27:10,861 I'm allergic to mold. A-And some pollens. 686 00:27:10,891 --> 00:27:13,313 Greek salad. Leg hair... 687 00:27:13,314 --> 00:27:16,255 Lots of fascinating folks out there. 688 00:27:16,256 --> 00:27:18,706 WOMAN: Your soul mate is still waiting. 689 00:27:21,234 --> 00:27:23,330 Why won't he do it first? 690 00:27:23,331 --> 00:27:25,296 Enough with this game of TrueSoulMate chicken. 691 00:27:25,297 --> 00:27:28,239 You already hit that, so let's quit that. 692 00:27:29,260 --> 00:27:31,331 (Sighs) 693 00:27:34,864 --> 00:27:36,250 - WOMAN: Soul mate rejected. - (Gasps) 694 00:27:36,251 --> 00:27:38,330 What's the damage, Golden-T? 695 00:27:38,331 --> 00:27:40,800 Oh. You see that? That's your sign. 696 00:27:40,830 --> 00:27:43,150 You need to quit waiting around like a chump. 697 00:27:43,180 --> 00:27:45,782 - Oh, I'm no chump. - You're damn right you're no chump. 698 00:27:45,812 --> 00:27:47,795 You're a choke-slammin', face-bustin' piledriver. 699 00:27:47,825 --> 00:27:49,726 - Hell yeah! Yeah? - Yeah! 700 00:27:49,756 --> 00:27:52,280 Quit wastin' time and get back in that ring. 701 00:27:52,281 --> 00:27:55,271 - (Groans) - Just like I'm doin' with Winnie. 702 00:27:55,892 --> 00:27:57,271 She blew you off. 703 00:27:57,272 --> 00:27:59,876 It's 'cause she's a man in the Ukraine. 704 00:27:59,906 --> 00:28:02,692 No. She knew we broke protocol. 705 00:28:02,968 --> 00:28:05,520 I think she was that old woman with the oxygen tank. 706 00:28:05,813 --> 00:28:07,296 But I got her to agree to another meet-up. 707 00:28:07,297 --> 00:28:09,826 And I know she'll show up next time. I know it. 708 00:28:10,171 --> 00:28:11,637 So come on. 709 00:28:11,667 --> 00:28:15,314 (Sighs) Okay. Here I go again. 710 00:28:26,289 --> 00:28:28,264 (Sighs) 711 00:28:30,247 --> 00:28:32,075 Hey. We need to talk. 712 00:28:32,886 --> 00:28:33,955 Everything okay? 713 00:28:33,985 --> 00:28:36,959 You wriggle into my life, steal my friends, steal my job. 714 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,896 And for what? To get even for something that happened 715 00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:40,967 in high school a decade ago? 716 00:28:40,968 --> 00:28:43,984 Well, Fun Evie Fact, I'm not gonna be bullied by you 717 00:28:43,985 --> 00:28:45,984 because I made an insensitive decision 718 00:28:45,985 --> 00:28:49,126 to join an after-school sport. So you're right, it's on! 719 00:28:49,156 --> 00:28:50,980 It's so on I might spike this ball 720 00:28:50,981 --> 00:28:53,035 into your stupid little Fern face! 721 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:54,621 DEIRDRE: Evie! 722 00:29:03,777 --> 00:29:04,984 What's all this? 723 00:29:04,985 --> 00:29:08,976 CyberHugs is donating athletic equipment to inner city schools. 724 00:29:08,977 --> 00:29:11,246 "It's on" meant that Deirdre approved it. 725 00:29:11,276 --> 00:29:14,076 So we're all pitching in. I thought you knew. 726 00:29:15,195 --> 00:29:16,980 Fern, I'm so sorry. I promise 727 00:29:16,981 --> 00:29:19,227 - I'll-I'll... - You'll what? 728 00:29:19,710 --> 00:29:21,520 Make it up to me? 729 00:29:22,503 --> 00:29:24,803 I think you could be our new spiker. 730 00:29:26,390 --> 00:29:28,914 Tryouts. Now. 731 00:29:31,922 --> 00:29:33,338 (Quietly): I'm so sorry. 732 00:29:33,368 --> 00:29:35,921 I promise I'll make it up to you. 733 00:29:35,922 --> 00:29:37,960 734 00:29:43,939 --> 00:29:45,980 All that I love 735 00:29:45,981 --> 00:29:49,632 In a moment, is gone 736 00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:52,946 I'm breaking... 737 00:29:52,947 --> 00:29:55,942 You do hold a grudge. I knew it. 738 00:29:55,943 --> 00:29:57,193 Of course I do. 739 00:29:57,434 --> 00:30:00,284 I spent three years eating lunch with pigeons. 740 00:30:00,314 --> 00:30:01,641 - Fern, I... - And when you showed up 741 00:30:01,671 --> 00:30:05,210 on my doorstep, it was the perfect opportunity to make you suffer 742 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,190 for everything you did to me. 743 00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:08,658 But then I met all these 744 00:30:08,688 --> 00:30:11,705 cool people you work with, and they accepted me. 745 00:30:11,735 --> 00:30:13,299 I mean, this place 746 00:30:13,329 --> 00:30:16,696 is everything I always wanted in high school. 747 00:30:16,697 --> 00:30:18,738 But I thought your colleagues should have a chance 748 00:30:18,739 --> 00:30:20,087 to see your true colors. 749 00:30:20,117 --> 00:30:22,730 And now they have. 750 00:30:23,234 --> 00:30:24,738 I'm truly sorry, 751 00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:26,421 for everything. 752 00:30:26,451 --> 00:30:29,730 You keep saying that, but the truth is... 753 00:30:29,731 --> 00:30:32,705 you never made it up to me. 754 00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:34,759 Being sorry doesn't change a thing. 755 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:38,434 I'm just a shell of myself 756 00:30:38,464 --> 00:30:41,142 And I've never felt 757 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:44,689 So empty. 758 00:30:48,381 --> 00:30:50,339 759 00:30:54,333 --> 00:30:55,353 Hello, sir, um... 760 00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:57,653 - My name is... - 30 minutes late, 761 00:30:57,683 --> 00:30:59,144 you don't even have the pizza. 762 00:30:59,174 --> 00:31:00,310 Honey! 763 00:31:00,340 --> 00:31:02,644 He forgot the pizza. 764 00:31:02,645 --> 00:31:04,694 My wife? She gets a little hangry. 765 00:31:04,695 --> 00:31:07,421 (Chuckles) I-I don't have any pizza, 766 00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:09,699 Mr. Barnes. I'm here to talk to your wife about... 767 00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:11,103 Barnes? 768 00:31:11,133 --> 00:31:13,241 You must be talking about Annette Barnes. 769 00:31:13,271 --> 00:31:16,661 We bought the place from her two years back. 770 00:31:16,662 --> 00:31:19,707 Do you have any idea where she is now? 771 00:31:19,708 --> 00:31:21,653 (Thunder rumbling in distance) 772 00:31:21,654 --> 00:31:22,707 XAVIER: In conclusion, 773 00:31:22,708 --> 00:31:24,661 I just hope my behavior wasn't responsible 774 00:31:24,662 --> 00:31:26,650 in any way for your... 775 00:31:27,650 --> 00:31:29,362 uh, current condition, 776 00:31:29,392 --> 00:31:31,645 Mrs. Barnes. 777 00:31:32,671 --> 00:31:34,007 (Inhales) 778 00:31:36,371 --> 00:31:37,675 (Exhales) 779 00:31:40,164 --> 00:31:41,416 Four words. 780 00:31:41,446 --> 00:31:44,416 To sum up someone's whole life? 781 00:31:44,446 --> 00:31:45,682 Four words? 782 00:31:45,683 --> 00:31:47,670 Doesn't seem like it's enough. 783 00:31:48,216 --> 00:31:50,223 You know what? 784 00:31:50,253 --> 00:31:52,674 Words aren't enough. 785 00:31:52,675 --> 00:31:55,631 For this or for making amends. 786 00:31:57,097 --> 00:32:00,442 I think we're going about our regrets all wrong. 787 00:32:03,645 --> 00:32:05,679 I think we need to do something. 788 00:32:06,721 --> 00:32:09,695 789 00:32:11,641 --> 00:32:13,031 DEIRDRE: Hard at work. 790 00:32:13,061 --> 00:32:16,592 Like a natural born CyberHugs Team Leader. 791 00:32:16,622 --> 00:32:17,657 What's that? 792 00:32:17,658 --> 00:32:18,674 Spoke to corporate. 793 00:32:18,675 --> 00:32:19,711 We decided you're ready 794 00:32:19,712 --> 00:32:22,670 for your next phase here at Cybermart. 795 00:32:22,671 --> 00:32:23,951 (Gasps) 796 00:32:23,981 --> 00:32:25,682 I got it? 797 00:32:25,683 --> 00:32:28,678 Ooh! Yee! (Laughs) 798 00:32:28,679 --> 00:32:31,044 I find your excitement grating. 799 00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:33,545 I... Sorry. Oh! 800 00:32:33,575 --> 00:32:35,168 - Thank you! - Don't... 801 00:32:35,198 --> 00:32:36,226 thank me. 802 00:32:36,256 --> 00:32:37,176 Corporate stipulated that 803 00:32:37,206 --> 00:32:39,378 I offer the position to a full-time 804 00:32:39,408 --> 00:32:40,714 Cybermart employee, 805 00:32:40,744 --> 00:32:43,012 any Cybermart employee, 806 00:32:43,042 --> 00:32:45,442 before going to an outside contractor. 807 00:32:47,228 --> 00:32:49,399 So you wanted to hire Fern, but you can't? 808 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:52,407 Not unless you turn down the offer. 809 00:32:52,408 --> 00:32:54,110 (Gasps) 810 00:32:56,404 --> 00:32:58,404 (Sighs) 811 00:33:06,919 --> 00:33:08,378 WOMAN: Code word. 812 00:33:09,217 --> 00:33:10,407 Shiatsu! 813 00:33:10,408 --> 00:33:12,408 814 00:33:15,403 --> 00:33:17,074 You're real. 815 00:33:17,104 --> 00:33:19,386 What's real? When we're all living in a giant video-game... 816 00:33:19,387 --> 00:33:20,415 Programmed from another dimension... 817 00:33:20,445 --> 00:33:21,586 Designed to wrap us in a 818 00:33:21,616 --> 00:33:22,832 - false sense of security! - False sense of security! 819 00:33:22,862 --> 00:33:24,815 (Laughter) 820 00:33:24,816 --> 00:33:26,414 (Exhales) 821 00:33:28,828 --> 00:33:30,782 Xavier Holliday? 822 00:33:31,083 --> 00:33:32,124 Yeah. 823 00:33:32,125 --> 00:33:34,174 Did you fill out your mental health history? 824 00:33:34,175 --> 00:33:36,641 Um... well... 825 00:33:36,671 --> 00:33:38,140 I'm not actually, um... 826 00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:40,460 here for... for help. 827 00:33:41,115 --> 00:33:42,555 I'm the person that's responsible 828 00:33:42,585 --> 00:33:45,165 for ruining your mother's life. 829 00:33:45,166 --> 00:33:48,120 Well, to be honest, it was hard on us. 830 00:33:48,121 --> 00:33:50,120 Mom was helping me with law school tuition, 831 00:33:50,121 --> 00:33:52,334 so I had to drop out. 832 00:33:52,364 --> 00:33:54,603 This is what I'm talking about. I want to make amends. 833 00:33:54,633 --> 00:33:56,644 I can get you the money to finish law school. 834 00:33:56,645 --> 00:33:58,949 I don't want your money, Xavier. 835 00:33:58,979 --> 00:34:01,524 My mom got depressed after she was let go. 836 00:34:01,554 --> 00:34:04,423 I helped her through that rough patch, and in the process, 837 00:34:04,453 --> 00:34:07,104 I realized law school wasn't my passion. 838 00:34:07,134 --> 00:34:09,081 But I have an ear for other people's problems. 839 00:34:09,111 --> 00:34:10,511 And now here I am. 840 00:34:13,752 --> 00:34:15,549 Things often work out the way they should. 841 00:34:15,550 --> 00:34:16,615 (Sighs) 842 00:34:16,616 --> 00:34:19,084 Do they? 'Cause here's the thing... 843 00:34:19,114 --> 00:34:20,992 there's this girl. And I want to be 844 00:34:21,022 --> 00:34:23,544 committed to her, but I can't tell her. 845 00:34:24,107 --> 00:34:26,565 What's holding you back? 846 00:34:27,082 --> 00:34:29,941 Um... I don't know. She's having such fun 847 00:34:29,971 --> 00:34:32,549 with all these dating apps, and... and it's my fault. 848 00:34:32,550 --> 00:34:35,350 I've... the one who told her to go buck wild. 849 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,091 Maybe she'd feel differently 850 00:34:37,121 --> 00:34:38,570 if she knew you wanted a commitment. 851 00:34:38,571 --> 00:34:41,045 But, you know, I don't want her to feel stifled 852 00:34:41,075 --> 00:34:44,343 by my feelings. That's not how ethical non-monogamy works. 853 00:34:44,373 --> 00:34:46,023 You want to be ethical? 854 00:34:46,542 --> 00:34:47,711 Then tell her the truth 855 00:34:47,741 --> 00:34:49,191 about how you feel. 856 00:34:49,358 --> 00:34:51,778 She might feel stifled or she might not. 857 00:34:51,779 --> 00:34:53,779 At least she knows her options. 858 00:34:57,546 --> 00:34:59,060 We're almost out of time. 859 00:34:59,090 --> 00:35:01,028 It's true. 860 00:35:01,058 --> 00:35:03,124 Our time is really precious. 861 00:35:03,125 --> 00:35:06,054 I mean our session is ending. 862 00:35:07,752 --> 00:35:08,752 Oh. 863 00:35:10,510 --> 00:35:12,976 _ 864 00:35:23,711 --> 00:35:24,716 You called me out here 865 00:35:24,746 --> 00:35:26,969 to prove you can still fit in your uniform? 866 00:35:26,999 --> 00:35:28,993 For one, it's so tight I can't feel my arms. 867 00:35:28,994 --> 00:35:31,773 Secondly, remember when we used to play kickball at recess? 868 00:35:31,803 --> 00:35:33,535 Every day in fourth grade. 869 00:35:33,565 --> 00:35:34,619 If the ball bounced weird 870 00:35:34,620 --> 00:35:36,569 during your turn to kick, we'd call it... 871 00:35:36,570 --> 00:35:37,569 Do-over. 872 00:35:37,570 --> 00:35:38,577 That's what I want. 873 00:35:38,578 --> 00:35:40,115 A do-over. 874 00:35:40,736 --> 00:35:41,880 No, how can I trust you? 875 00:35:41,910 --> 00:35:44,352 You just want my job at CyberHugs. 876 00:35:44,382 --> 00:35:45,589 I turned it down. 877 00:35:45,590 --> 00:35:47,577 Told Deirdre this morning 878 00:35:47,578 --> 00:35:50,378 you're the most qualified person for the job. 879 00:35:52,048 --> 00:35:53,296 Why would you do that? 880 00:35:53,326 --> 00:35:55,049 To make it up to you. 881 00:35:55,079 --> 00:35:56,581 Finally. 882 00:35:56,961 --> 00:35:58,811 And there's one more thing. 883 00:36:01,926 --> 00:36:03,557 You kept it. 884 00:36:10,571 --> 00:36:11,800 Flags up. 885 00:36:11,830 --> 00:36:13,531 We'll be singing 886 00:36:13,532 --> 00:36:14,769 - When we're winning - You got to be kidding me. 887 00:36:14,799 --> 00:36:17,453 - You know you want to. - We'll be singing 888 00:36:17,483 --> 00:36:18,954 Five, six, seven, eight! 889 00:36:18,984 --> 00:36:20,760 I get knocked down 890 00:36:20,761 --> 00:36:22,781 But I get up again, you're never gonna 891 00:36:22,782 --> 00:36:24,793 Keep me down, I get knocked down 892 00:36:24,794 --> 00:36:26,752 But I get up again 893 00:36:26,753 --> 00:36:28,218 You're never gonna keep me down 894 00:36:28,248 --> 00:36:30,793 I get knocked down, but I get up again 895 00:36:30,794 --> 00:36:32,641 You're never gonna keep me down 896 00:36:32,671 --> 00:36:35,764 I get knocked down, but I get up again 897 00:36:35,765 --> 00:36:38,827 You're never gonna keep me down 898 00:36:40,289 --> 00:36:42,819 That's what you call Biscuits and Gravy, baby! 899 00:36:42,820 --> 00:36:43,823 Yeah! Yeah! 900 00:36:43,824 --> 00:36:47,781 Yeah! Oh, yeah! 901 00:36:47,782 --> 00:36:49,757 We're still really good. 902 00:36:58,336 --> 00:37:00,969 So, what's your position on discount mattress pricing? 903 00:37:00,999 --> 00:37:03,981 The government controls it to fund cyberweapons programs. 904 00:37:03,982 --> 00:37:04,981 Yucca Mountain? 905 00:37:04,982 --> 00:37:05,981 Underground repository 906 00:37:05,982 --> 00:37:06,989 for alien technology. 907 00:37:06,990 --> 00:37:08,010 Are you sure we're not related? 908 00:37:08,011 --> 00:37:09,261 I know, right? 909 00:37:09,291 --> 00:37:10,477 - Yeah. - But there is 910 00:37:10,507 --> 00:37:12,579 something I need to know. 911 00:37:12,609 --> 00:37:13,998 What's your name? 912 00:37:13,999 --> 00:37:16,243 You can whisper it. I mean, for confidentiality. 913 00:37:16,273 --> 00:37:18,019 Don't worry... I swept the immediate vicinity. 914 00:37:18,020 --> 00:37:19,981 Yeah, you know, maybe you should still whisper it, 915 00:37:19,982 --> 00:37:21,789 you know, just to be safe. 916 00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:25,989 (Whispers) 917 00:37:25,990 --> 00:37:27,985 Hmm. 918 00:37:28,344 --> 00:37:29,944 How about the other ear? 919 00:37:30,949 --> 00:37:31,974 (Whispers) 920 00:37:33,957 --> 00:37:34,957 Huh. 921 00:37:36,295 --> 00:37:38,954 Okay, how about both at once? 922 00:37:54,011 --> 00:37:56,248 I felt like I was kissing my brother. 923 00:37:56,278 --> 00:37:58,735 Huh. I think we should just be friends. 924 00:37:58,765 --> 00:37:59,781 And battle buddies. 925 00:37:59,782 --> 00:38:01,096 When foreign forces hit our shores. 926 00:38:01,126 --> 00:38:02,143 Yeah! 927 00:38:02,173 --> 00:38:03,173 Yes! 928 00:38:05,724 --> 00:38:07,743 (Door opens) 929 00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:10,341 I broke up with my Internet girlfriend. 930 00:38:11,255 --> 00:38:12,893 Oh. 931 00:38:15,634 --> 00:38:17,346 Darling, you 932 00:38:17,376 --> 00:38:19,756 Lavender sticky notes. 933 00:38:19,757 --> 00:38:21,731 My favorite. 934 00:38:21,732 --> 00:38:23,199 May I have this dance? 935 00:38:23,229 --> 00:38:25,781 Every color of the rainbow 936 00:38:25,782 --> 00:38:28,739 Is my specialty 937 00:38:28,740 --> 00:38:30,798 Gonna make you shine 938 00:38:30,799 --> 00:38:33,855 It's like a brush to tickle you... 939 00:38:36,113 --> 00:38:38,251 WOMAN: Found your soul mate. 940 00:38:41,579 --> 00:38:43,044 Cute. 941 00:38:43,992 --> 00:38:45,596 WOMAN: Soul mate accepted! 942 00:38:51,770 --> 00:38:53,171 Oh, well, it's official. 943 00:38:53,201 --> 00:38:56,785 I finally get to cross number 17 off my list. 944 00:38:56,786 --> 00:38:59,798 That outfit makes me want to add, like, a dozen to mine. 945 00:38:59,799 --> 00:39:03,777 Oh. Well, how did it go with Violet Barnes? 946 00:39:03,778 --> 00:39:07,217 She's a very gifted therapist. 947 00:39:07,247 --> 00:39:09,241 Oof. Is that a euphemism? 948 00:39:09,271 --> 00:39:10,760 No. 949 00:39:10,761 --> 00:39:13,383 She advised me to... 950 00:39:13,413 --> 00:39:16,212 put all my cards on the table. 951 00:39:16,242 --> 00:39:17,748 About? 952 00:39:17,749 --> 00:39:20,752 This whole ethical non-monogamy thing. 953 00:39:20,753 --> 00:39:22,777 Honestly, I'm totally fine with it. 954 00:39:22,778 --> 00:39:24,777 I don't want to do it anymore. 955 00:39:25,028 --> 00:39:26,525 What? 956 00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:29,010 Look... it was perfect for me. 957 00:39:29,011 --> 00:39:31,002 For a really long time, but... 958 00:39:31,454 --> 00:39:34,593 something's different now. This is different. 959 00:39:36,127 --> 00:39:38,622 I don't want every possible option. 960 00:39:38,864 --> 00:39:40,998 I want you. 961 00:39:41,595 --> 00:39:42,985 Wow. 962 00:39:42,986 --> 00:39:44,014 (Phone dings) 963 00:39:44,015 --> 00:39:45,379 So... 964 00:39:45,793 --> 00:39:48,014 I just... I just wanted you to know that, 965 00:39:48,044 --> 00:39:51,010 - for whatever it's worth. - (Phone dings) 966 00:39:51,011 --> 00:39:53,092 And you have every right 967 00:39:53,122 --> 00:39:56,007 to carry on... journeying. 968 00:40:01,678 --> 00:40:03,161 Nah. 969 00:40:04,213 --> 00:40:05,592 I'm good. 970 00:40:06,989 --> 00:40:08,981 Oh, oh 971 00:40:08,982 --> 00:40:11,056 Oh, oh, oh 972 00:40:11,057 --> 00:40:13,019 Oh, oh 973 00:40:13,020 --> 00:40:15,206 Oh, oh, oh 974 00:40:15,236 --> 00:40:17,010 - Hey. - Yeah? 975 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,740 - I've got something to show you. - Mm-hmm? 976 00:40:23,308 --> 00:40:25,023 No, you didn't. 977 00:40:25,024 --> 00:40:27,019 I certainly did. 978 00:40:27,293 --> 00:40:29,977 - Shall we? - Oh, y... 979 00:40:30,007 --> 00:40:31,981 (Both laughing) 980 00:40:31,982 --> 00:40:33,014 Oh, oh 981 00:40:33,015 --> 00:40:36,078 Oh, oh, oh, oh 982 00:40:36,411 --> 00:40:43,877 = synced and corrected by Shahrazade = ... www.addic7ed.com ... 983 00:40:43,927 --> 00:40:48,477 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 67091

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.