Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,477 --> 00:00:04,578
So I really want to ask
what's in the box, but, uh,
2
00:00:04,614 --> 00:00:06,492
it'll ignite a whole Seven thing.
3
00:00:06,517 --> 00:00:09,070
"What's in the box? What's in the box?"
4
00:00:09,095 --> 00:00:11,162
"Repeat, John Doe has the upper hand."
5
00:00:11,187 --> 00:00:12,486
I have got to see this movie.
6
00:00:12,521 --> 00:00:14,802
You guys make it sound so hilarious.
7
00:00:14,827 --> 00:00:17,379
Anyway, my former
boss, Principal Foster,
8
00:00:17,404 --> 00:00:19,959
survived a real dicey safari in Africa.
9
00:00:19,984 --> 00:00:23,326
His takeaway was that material
possessions mean nothing.
10
00:00:23,351 --> 00:00:25,131
Including his collection
11
00:00:25,156 --> 00:00:27,529
of super fancy, old-ass wine.
12
00:00:27,554 --> 00:00:29,982
The lions came at night.
13
00:00:30,661 --> 00:00:33,120
That put everything in perspective.
14
00:00:33,145 --> 00:00:35,098
Everything, dawg.
15
00:00:35,239 --> 00:00:36,705
Ooh.
16
00:00:36,730 --> 00:00:39,145
Jess, thank you. This is perfect.
17
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,620
Cece and I are completely
moved into Jaipur Aviv.
18
00:00:41,645 --> 00:00:43,778
So tonight, we'll be
doing it for the first time
19
00:00:43,803 --> 00:00:45,644
on our first night in our first house.
20
00:00:45,669 --> 00:00:47,464
And I'm going to Aly's tonight. Yeah.
21
00:00:47,489 --> 00:00:49,756
Gonna be doing it for the 10,000th time
22
00:00:49,781 --> 00:00:51,590
on our 1,000th night
23
00:00:51,615 --> 00:00:53,495
in her... 100th apartment?
24
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,159
You think Aly's lived in 100 apartments?
25
00:00:55,184 --> 00:00:57,183
I hadn't, I hadn't
crunched the numbers on it.
26
00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:59,808
So, Reagan's out of town till tomorrow.
27
00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:01,253
What are you and Nick gonna do tonight?
28
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:03,542
What makes you assume
I'm hanging out with Nick?
29
00:01:03,567 --> 00:01:05,854
I'm sorry. What are you doing tonight?
30
00:01:05,879 --> 00:01:06,964
(mumbles): Picking out clothes for Nick.
31
00:01:06,989 --> 00:01:08,144
What? I can't hear you.
32
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,909
I'm helping Nick pick out an outfit.
33
00:01:09,934 --> 00:01:12,823
I... we have to nail down
his look for SOCALYALCON 6.
34
00:01:12,848 --> 00:01:15,414
Wow, SOCALYALCON 6. Wow.
35
00:01:15,439 --> 00:01:17,456
I can't believe it's been
a whole year since the last
36
00:01:17,481 --> 00:01:20,049
Southern California Young
Adult Literature Conference.
37
00:01:20,074 --> 00:01:21,347
NICK: You're a 12-year-old girl.
38
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:24,034
You spent $35 to meet me.
39
00:01:24,059 --> 00:01:26,183
Is this what you want me to look like?
40
00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:30,362
I got two questions: uh,
where'd I get $35 from,
41
00:01:30,387 --> 00:01:33,021
and also, can my name be Daphne?
42
00:01:34,084 --> 00:01:35,500
43
00:01:35,525 --> 00:01:37,602
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:01:38,124 --> 00:01:40,312
And I read that authors
should all have a strong look,
45
00:01:40,337 --> 00:01:43,359
so I found four authors with
strong looks, and I combined them.
46
00:01:43,384 --> 00:01:45,101
Tom Wolfe: white suit.
47
00:01:45,126 --> 00:01:47,031
Hunter S. Thompson: yellow sunglasses.
48
00:01:47,056 --> 00:01:49,023
David Foster Wallace: bandana.
49
00:01:49,048 --> 00:01:52,218
Toni Morrison: The
Presidential Medal of Freedom.
50
00:01:52,243 --> 00:01:53,625
Here you go.
51
00:01:53,650 --> 00:01:55,023
Well, that's perfect, Jess.
52
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,148
Well, it was easy. You have very
few clothing items in your closet.
53
00:01:58,173 --> 00:02:00,054
Also, are those your tax returns?
54
00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:01,554
And why are you drying beef?
55
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,234
Because I don't have a file cabinet,
56
00:02:03,259 --> 00:02:05,726
and because I couldn't eat
all the meat in one night.
57
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,211
- Now...
- That's gross.
58
00:02:07,236 --> 00:02:09,684
- ... how do I look?
- What you need is a navy blazer.
59
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:12,461
Do you have a navy blazer
or just the pit boss special?
60
00:02:12,496 --> 00:02:16,083
What kind of a man
owns multiple blazers?
61
00:02:16,108 --> 00:02:17,520
(snickering)
62
00:02:17,545 --> 00:02:19,786
SCHMIDT: Ha! There's
so many places for sex!
63
00:02:20,426 --> 00:02:21,603
(moans)
64
00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:23,404
(panting): All right.
65
00:02:23,429 --> 00:02:24,740
That makes it official.
66
00:02:24,765 --> 00:02:26,732
Houses are way better than apartments.
67
00:02:26,757 --> 00:02:29,006
Now that we're out of closets,
watch out laundry room.
68
00:02:29,031 --> 00:02:30,697
- (chuckles)
- (exhales)
69
00:02:30,722 --> 00:02:31,975
- Know what that sound is?
- Hmm?
70
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,301
That is the absence of Nick.
71
00:02:34,803 --> 00:02:36,185
The lack of Winston.
72
00:02:36,210 --> 00:02:37,504
(knocking on door)
73
00:02:37,685 --> 00:02:39,521
- What was that?
- Someone's hitting our house.
74
00:02:39,546 --> 00:02:41,428
It sounded like, like,
a, like, knocking.
75
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,876
Yeah, but the-the door is that way.
76
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,459
Oh, my God, I totally forgot.
77
00:02:44,484 --> 00:02:45,676
We have a back door.
78
00:02:45,701 --> 00:02:47,780
BOTH: Houses have a back door.
79
00:02:47,816 --> 00:02:49,382
(laughs)
80
00:02:49,826 --> 00:02:52,021
What kind of person
comes to a back door?
81
00:02:52,057 --> 00:02:53,739
- Jeremy.
- On behalf of the neighborhood,
82
00:02:53,764 --> 00:02:56,365
may I be the first to say, welcome, sir.
83
00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:59,137
"A Guide to Your New
Neighborhood by Jeremy."
84
00:02:59,162 --> 00:03:01,942
- I didn't know you lived nearby.
- I don't. But I will someday.
85
00:03:01,967 --> 00:03:04,137
Just as I will do everything
that you have done.
86
00:03:04,162 --> 00:03:05,163
(grunts)
87
00:03:05,188 --> 00:03:06,911
That's the tone that
we talked about, Jeremy.
88
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,202
No, thank you.
89
00:03:08,237 --> 00:03:10,146
I can't wait to have
a servants' entrance.
90
00:03:10,171 --> 00:03:11,817
- Let's not call it that.
- Two points of entry.
91
00:03:11,842 --> 00:03:13,575
Very well done, sir.
92
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,904
Cece, I just thought of another reason
93
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,482
why houses are better than apartments.
94
00:03:17,507 --> 00:03:20,808
- Now we can enjoy two points of entry!
- CECE: No, thanks!
95
00:03:20,844 --> 00:03:22,271
I'm talking about the doors.
96
00:03:22,295 --> 00:03:23,395
I-I didn't mean...
97
00:03:23,430 --> 00:03:25,043
ALY: So a lion scares
98
00:03:25,068 --> 00:03:27,232
Jess's old boss in Nigeria,
99
00:03:27,267 --> 00:03:31,102
and we get so drunk we have
sex on a dresser in America.
100
00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:34,043
What a world.
101
00:03:34,068 --> 00:03:36,374
- It's all connected, baby.
- (chuckles)
102
00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:39,377
And the broken dresser, that's my fault.
103
00:03:39,413 --> 00:03:40,835
I'm all haunch.
104
00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:42,922
- I'll buy you a new one.
- You don't have to.
105
00:03:42,947 --> 00:03:45,086
Because guess who has two dressers.
106
00:03:45,111 --> 00:03:46,878
- Rip Torn.
- No. Me.
107
00:03:46,903 --> 00:03:48,269
I mean, you and Rip Torn.
108
00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,360
Stop talking about Rip Torn.
109
00:03:49,385 --> 00:03:50,788
- You have a backup dresser?
- Yeah.
110
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,516
Just when I thought you
couldn't get any more perfect.
111
00:03:53,541 --> 00:03:54,836
It's in my...
112
00:03:56,096 --> 00:03:58,063
ugh, my storage unit.
113
00:03:58,389 --> 00:03:59,597
I-I'll get it tomorrow.
114
00:03:59,633 --> 00:04:01,037
A dresser's pretty
big; I could help you.
115
00:04:01,062 --> 00:04:02,584
That's okay. I'll just get it tomorrow.
116
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:04,743
- I mean, my day is wide open...
- I said no!
117
00:04:04,768 --> 00:04:07,035
(quietly): Okay.
118
00:04:07,405 --> 00:04:10,059
"A Guide to Your New
Neighborhood by Jeremy"
119
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,428
is very comprehensive.
120
00:04:11,453 --> 00:04:13,428
Yes, the fact that we're
in between a raisin house
121
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:14,662
and a toothbrush house,
122
00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:16,694
makes me feel very
confident about Halloween.
123
00:04:17,201 --> 00:04:18,727
Crime statistics?
124
00:04:18,752 --> 00:04:19,918
We have crime?
125
00:04:19,953 --> 00:04:22,709
Crime that warrants statistics?
126
00:04:22,734 --> 00:04:25,280
Oh, my God. It says there were
14 home invasions last year.
127
00:04:25,305 --> 00:04:27,364
Up six percent from 2015?
128
00:04:27,389 --> 00:04:28,576
Okay, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
129
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,466
W-we're just gonna get
worked up about nothing.
130
00:04:31,491 --> 00:04:33,064
Right? There are only
two ways into this place,
131
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,833
the front door and the back
door and we've locked them both.
132
00:04:34,868 --> 00:04:36,101
- We're good, we're good.
- We're good.
133
00:04:36,136 --> 00:04:37,147
- Yeah, we're good.
- Yeah, no. It's fine.
134
00:04:37,172 --> 00:04:38,280
- Yeah. We're fine.
- I just...
135
00:04:38,305 --> 00:04:40,092
- Yeah. Okay.
- Okay.
136
00:04:42,008 --> 00:04:43,575
At the risk of sounding clich?,
137
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:45,477
should we have sex in the bedroom?
138
00:04:45,512 --> 00:04:47,161
I think that's a great idea.
139
00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:48,592
- (chuckles)
- (clattering)
140
00:04:48,617 --> 00:04:50,017
- (gasps, shrieks)
- The hell was that?!
141
00:04:50,042 --> 00:04:51,460
Are you the criminals?!
142
00:04:51,485 --> 00:04:52,969
From the statistics?!
143
00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:54,560
(Nick groaning)
144
00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,352
- (shouts)
- Oh, what are you doing?
145
00:04:56,377 --> 00:04:58,102
I almost hit you with this
brushed steel modern lamp.
146
00:04:58,127 --> 00:04:59,469
- Really?
- I am sorry we broke in,
147
00:04:59,494 --> 00:05:01,170
but I'm also pretty impressed with us.
148
00:05:01,195 --> 00:05:03,028
What kind of taco meat you bitches have?
149
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,624
(Nick and Jess laugh)
150
00:05:04,649 --> 00:05:06,420
SCHMIDT: I told you, if
we locked both the doors,
151
00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:07,842
our guests would know...
152
00:05:07,867 --> 00:05:09,765
to come in through the windows.
153
00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:12,714
Our ground floor windows.
154
00:05:12,739 --> 00:05:14,506
You see? What started out as snark
155
00:05:14,541 --> 00:05:15,820
has become a real eye-opener.
156
00:05:15,845 --> 00:05:17,047
What did you want us to do?
157
00:05:17,072 --> 00:05:18,406
Ring the bell and wake you guys up?
158
00:05:18,431 --> 00:05:19,820
Oh, no. Thank God you didn't wake us up.
159
00:05:19,845 --> 00:05:22,563
See? I told you they'd be cool. Ask him.
160
00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:23,680
You were right.
161
00:05:23,705 --> 00:05:26,022
Schmidt, here's my question.
162
00:05:26,047 --> 00:05:27,552
Apologies.
163
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,902
My author look is missing one thing...
164
00:05:29,927 --> 00:05:32,012
Navy blue, medium weight, two button.
165
00:05:32,037 --> 00:05:34,136
I know the blazer. Nick, listen to me.
166
00:05:34,161 --> 00:05:36,746
If you ever, ever need a blazer,
167
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,627
I don't care how late it is,
168
00:05:38,652 --> 00:05:40,291
till the day I die, you wake me up.
169
00:05:40,316 --> 00:05:41,495
Thanks.
170
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,815
Okay.
171
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,502
We're gonna have a conversation.
172
00:05:44,538 --> 00:05:45,954
- I am a little concerned.
- I know.
173
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,198
What if the blazer doesn't fit?
174
00:05:47,223 --> 00:05:49,628
No. About you and Nick.
175
00:05:49,846 --> 00:05:51,393
And about how you're
being his girlfriend.
176
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:54,316
- You mean being his good friend.
- I mean being his girlfriend.
177
00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:55,647
A good friend will maybe
178
00:05:55,682 --> 00:05:57,715
drive someone to the mall in the daytime
179
00:05:57,751 --> 00:05:59,984
so that they can buy a blazer.
180
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:03,224
They don't go on a giggly
late night crime date
181
00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:04,923
so that they can steal one.
182
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:06,366
That's girlfriend stuff.
183
00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:09,647
You've been doing a lot
of girlfriend stuff lately.
184
00:06:10,074 --> 00:06:13,175
"Godfather of Soul, blank
Brown." Five letters.
185
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,663
- Bubba.
- Okay.
186
00:06:14,688 --> 00:06:16,678
Wait, you want to know
who wins in a fight
187
00:06:16,703 --> 00:06:19,288
between Winston Bishop
and Winston Churchill?
188
00:06:19,708 --> 00:06:21,917
Hey, do you know what this book's about?
189
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:23,869
Bayou n-noir.
190
00:06:23,894 --> 00:06:26,572
Uh, Pepperwood, he's a
private investigator...
191
00:06:26,597 --> 00:06:29,149
It's about a man who has
nothing, who risks everything,
192
00:06:29,174 --> 00:06:30,515
to feel something.
193
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,713
Thank you.
194
00:06:32,619 --> 00:06:33,900
None of that's girlfriend stuff.
195
00:06:33,925 --> 00:06:35,064
That's all good friend stuff.
196
00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:37,994
Okay, let me, uh, toss out
a hypothetical to you, okay?
197
00:06:38,019 --> 00:06:41,056
Nick has a piece of lint
198
00:06:41,081 --> 00:06:42,447
on his sleeve.
199
00:06:42,472 --> 00:06:45,689
Do you go, "Hey, bud, you
got some lint on your sleeve"?
200
00:06:45,999 --> 00:06:48,135
Or do you pick it off?
201
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,424
- I don't see how that's relevant.
- Yes, you do.
202
00:06:50,449 --> 00:06:52,549
Because you are a rabid
watcher of The Crown.
203
00:06:52,574 --> 00:06:54,852
- I watch a lot of shows.
- And so therefore, you know...
204
00:06:54,877 --> 00:06:57,768
that picking lint off
of a man's sleeve...
205
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,399
is the most intimate gesture.
206
00:07:00,424 --> 00:07:01,679
I just leave it there.
207
00:07:01,715 --> 00:07:03,955
A little piece of lint on his sleeve.
208
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:06,481
- I wouldn't do anything.
- What would you just want to...
209
00:07:06,506 --> 00:07:09,345
Fine! I'd want to pick
it off with my bare hands!
210
00:07:11,066 --> 00:07:12,416
Oh, my God.
211
00:07:13,636 --> 00:07:15,008
I'm the girlfriend.
212
00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:16,367
213
00:07:16,706 --> 00:07:19,691
I'm so nervous for SOCALYALCON
6 that I lost my appetite.
214
00:07:19,716 --> 00:07:21,720
But then I found my appetite, but now,
215
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,645
now that I found my
appetite, nothing sounds good.
216
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,853
Mm, sounds like you're in
a complicated way, my man.
217
00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:27,306
You know what actually does sound good?
218
00:07:27,331 --> 00:07:29,011
The cake you made on the Fourth of July.
219
00:07:29,036 --> 00:07:31,206
- Would you make it again?
- You want me to make a, uh,
220
00:07:31,231 --> 00:07:33,228
an American flag sheet cake in March?
221
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,917
Yes. It'll be fun. We'll do it together.
222
00:07:34,942 --> 00:07:37,196
- You get to wear this.
- Okay.
223
00:07:37,221 --> 00:07:38,753
My favorite apron.
224
00:07:38,778 --> 00:07:41,456
You know what, no! No,
I'm not doing this anymore.
225
00:07:41,481 --> 00:07:44,323
Anymore? We've never
made a cake together.
226
00:07:44,348 --> 00:07:45,542
Wait, have we?
227
00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:47,190
If we have, I don't remember. I drink.
228
00:07:47,215 --> 00:07:49,464
No, not... no.
229
00:07:49,489 --> 00:07:51,011
Not just this. All of it.
230
00:07:51,036 --> 00:07:53,776
All the girlfriend stuff. It's not fair.
231
00:07:56,329 --> 00:07:57,758
All right. Sorry.
232
00:07:57,783 --> 00:07:58,985
I-I didn't know you felt that way.
233
00:07:59,001 --> 00:08:01,266
No. (scoffs) I don't feel that way, I...
234
00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:03,540
- But you said unfair.
- Yeah, I did.
235
00:08:03,565 --> 00:08:05,509
I said that 'cause I...
236
00:08:05,556 --> 00:08:07,805
if... I feel it is unfair.
237
00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:09,493
To Reagan.
238
00:08:09,696 --> 00:08:11,907
She's your girlfriend,
I'm your good friend.
239
00:08:11,932 --> 00:08:13,890
She, you know, she should...
240
00:08:14,048 --> 00:08:15,848
she should get to make you sheet cake.
241
00:08:15,883 --> 00:08:17,694
Yeah, that makes sense.
242
00:08:17,719 --> 00:08:20,419
I just need to make
something clear between us.
243
00:08:20,454 --> 00:08:21,920
If that's okay.
244
00:08:22,321 --> 00:08:25,469
You're saying "sheet"
like "ghost clothes,"
245
00:08:25,494 --> 00:08:27,524
not like "in a toilet," right?
246
00:08:31,499 --> 00:08:32,698
Whoa.
247
00:08:33,386 --> 00:08:37,683
I taught English in Japan for a
couple years after college and...
248
00:08:37,815 --> 00:08:39,415
I fell in with a bad crowd.
249
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,722
It was a time in my
life I'm not proud of.
250
00:08:41,747 --> 00:08:43,876
I fell in with...
251
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:46,589
with a Japanese game show crowd.
252
00:08:46,614 --> 00:08:48,402
(speaking Japanese)
253
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,019
Which one?
254
00:08:50,044 --> 00:08:51,519
- (speaking Japanese)
- This one?
255
00:08:51,544 --> 00:08:53,277
This one or this one?
256
00:08:53,302 --> 00:08:54,855
- I don't understand you!
- (crowd chanting in Japanese)
257
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:55,979
Okay.
258
00:08:56,004 --> 00:08:57,327
(bell dinging, crowd cheering)
259
00:08:57,352 --> 00:08:59,258
(announcer speaking Japanese)
260
00:08:59,293 --> 00:09:00,392
(shouting in Japanese)
261
00:09:00,428 --> 00:09:02,269
Oh, my God, I did it!
262
00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:03,957
I did it!
263
00:09:03,982 --> 00:09:05,553
I did it!
264
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,765
(yells)
265
00:09:06,801 --> 00:09:08,183
I did it!
266
00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:10,394
I was a ten-time top master champion
267
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:13,340
on Protocol of Best Enjoyment.
268
00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:15,934
- These are the spoils.
- Question...
269
00:09:16,145 --> 00:09:17,762
is that hippo rideable?
270
00:09:17,787 --> 00:09:20,020
(whoops, laughs)
271
00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:21,129
(whoops)
272
00:09:21,154 --> 00:09:23,372
Those day laborers were right.
273
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,250
This stuff is awesome.
274
00:09:25,286 --> 00:09:27,051
Why was I so embarrassed
for you to see it?
275
00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:29,840
If this is your deep,
dark, embarrassing secret,
276
00:09:29,865 --> 00:09:31,637
then I am worried for you to see
277
00:09:31,662 --> 00:09:33,106
what's buried in my storage unit.
278
00:09:33,131 --> 00:09:35,629
I feel like I'm pretty up-to-date
on your embarrassing secrets.
279
00:09:35,654 --> 00:09:37,137
Oh, honey.
280
00:09:37,162 --> 00:09:39,598
I have chapters in my life
you know nothing about.
281
00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:41,637
- Wait, really?
- Here we go.
282
00:09:43,059 --> 00:09:45,925
I once sold knives
door-to-door in high school.
283
00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:48,910
And... Byron Allen knocked me out.
284
00:09:48,935 --> 00:09:51,801
Yeah, that was, like, the first
thing you told me when we met.
285
00:09:51,849 --> 00:09:53,473
Oh, yeah. (laughs)
286
00:09:53,498 --> 00:09:56,104
I do use that as an
icebreaker, I forgot.
287
00:09:56,533 --> 00:09:59,503
Well, here's one from
deep in the storage unit.
288
00:09:59,528 --> 00:10:00,581
Way in the back.
289
00:10:00,606 --> 00:10:03,307
I once got my foot stuck in a go-kart.
290
00:10:03,581 --> 00:10:06,386
- And I had to...
- ... Hop six laps alongside of it.
291
00:10:06,411 --> 00:10:09,041
I've been kicked out of
multiple focus groups for...
292
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,096
for crying too much.
293
00:10:10,121 --> 00:10:11,420
That happened yesterday,
and I was with you.
294
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:13,166
I fell asleep in study hall.
295
00:10:13,191 --> 00:10:15,205
Had a very loud sex dream.
296
00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:18,073
That happened to my family member,
297
00:10:18,098 --> 00:10:20,165
and I relayed the story to you.
298
00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:21,729
- I fell asleep in a bathtub.
- Knew that.
299
00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:24,018
And I once dislocated my
thumb getting off a couch.
300
00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:25,494
Okay, you got five more
minutes on that hippo,
301
00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:26,979
and then we switch.
302
00:10:29,278 --> 00:10:31,545
JESS: (groans) What was wrong with me?
303
00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:34,362
Well... (chuckles)
nothing in this picture.
304
00:10:34,395 --> 00:10:35,995
Hello, gorgeous.
305
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:38,205
Crop and keep.
306
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:39,591
(music playing nearby)
307
00:10:39,627 --> 00:10:41,151
Reagan!
308
00:10:41,362 --> 00:10:42,561
Hi.
309
00:10:42,586 --> 00:10:45,244
How do you get off a plane
and still look dewy as hell?
310
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,143
Uh, I made a deal with
the devil some time ago.
311
00:10:48,168 --> 00:10:49,237
(laughs)
312
00:10:49,262 --> 00:10:51,126
- Hey, I'm the blue words.
- Too late. We're going with it.
313
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,404
I picked you out...
314
00:10:52,439 --> 00:10:55,213
Well, welcome back! Sorry. (chuckles)
315
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,219
I don't know why I'm still shouting.
316
00:10:57,244 --> 00:10:58,821
Um, so Nick told me
317
00:10:58,846 --> 00:11:00,205
about what's been going on with you two.
318
00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:02,050
Oh, he did?
319
00:11:02,075 --> 00:11:04,010
- Listen, Reagan...
- No, you listen to me.
320
00:11:04,035 --> 00:11:06,252
The next time I find out that my man
321
00:11:06,277 --> 00:11:09,010
has been coming to you for cake...
322
00:11:09,566 --> 00:11:11,408
I'm gonna take you out...
323
00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:13,143
to dinner...
324
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:14,768
- to say thank you.
- (chuckles)
325
00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:16,526
Because I hate baking.
326
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,877
(both chuckle)
327
00:11:17,902 --> 00:11:20,623
Speaking of dinner, why wait?
Why don't we do that tonight?
328
00:11:20,858 --> 00:11:22,436
About Nick, um...
329
00:11:22,461 --> 00:11:24,027
Jess, you don't have to
change your relationship
330
00:11:24,052 --> 00:11:25,318
with Nick because of me.
331
00:11:25,343 --> 00:11:26,998
I'm not a jealous person.
332
00:11:27,584 --> 00:11:29,725
But thank you for thinking
of me. That's very nice.
333
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,416
You're a really good friend.
334
00:11:31,704 --> 00:11:34,839
And that is why... I got you this gift.
335
00:11:34,864 --> 00:11:37,209
Oh, expensive jewelry.
(chuckles nervously)
336
00:11:37,234 --> 00:11:39,623
Classic friend gift.
337
00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:40,897
Thank you, friend.
338
00:11:40,922 --> 00:11:43,089
But I don't have anything for you.
339
00:11:43,377 --> 00:11:44,968
Except this nice wink.
340
00:11:44,993 --> 00:11:46,159
And here it comes.
341
00:11:46,184 --> 00:11:47,874
And bam. (chuckles)
342
00:11:48,148 --> 00:11:49,314
Oh, you're really tense.
343
00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:50,888
Yeah, you don't have to do that.
344
00:11:50,913 --> 00:11:52,784
My-my tension's what drives me.
345
00:11:52,819 --> 00:11:54,687
- Oh, no, I want to.
- Mm-hmm.
346
00:11:54,712 --> 00:11:56,303
I don't have a lot of
friends that are girls.
347
00:11:56,328 --> 00:11:57,928
- Mm.
- Oh, my God,
348
00:11:57,953 --> 00:11:59,771
I think you're my first girlfriend.
349
00:12:01,381 --> 00:12:02,961
I'm sure you're missing someone,
350
00:12:02,996 --> 00:12:05,232
like, from high school or college.
351
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:06,654
Somebody? A cousin?
352
00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:08,631
WINSTON:
That much is true...
353
00:12:08,881 --> 00:12:11,145
SCHMIDT: All 22 points of entry locked.
354
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,920
- Good night, babe.
- Good night.
355
00:12:13,412 --> 00:12:14,671
- Mm.
- Exhausted.
356
00:12:14,707 --> 00:12:16,640
I know. I feel so safe.
357
00:12:16,675 --> 00:12:18,295
- So, here's the thing.
- (screams)
358
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,943
- Devil woman!
- How are you doing that?
359
00:12:19,968 --> 00:12:22,246
I just had a four-hour
dinner with Reagan.
360
00:12:22,271 --> 00:12:25,149
At which, we shared something
called "The Lovers' Pork."
361
00:12:25,184 --> 00:12:26,636
Cece, it's getting worse.
362
00:12:26,661 --> 00:12:29,037
I'm both their girlfriends.
363
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,809
How did you get in here, Jess?
364
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,559
- Through the doggy door.
- There's a doggy door?
365
00:12:32,584 --> 00:12:35,082
Well, it's flush with the people
door, and it's painted shut,
366
00:12:35,099 --> 00:12:36,808
so I really had to put my head into it.
367
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:39,089
God, I don't want to be
both their girlfriends.
368
00:12:39,114 --> 00:12:41,668
Why do they both need me
so much all of a sudden?
369
00:12:41,693 --> 00:12:43,043
BOTH: All of a sudden?!
370
00:12:43,068 --> 00:12:45,030
This is why you should
tell Nick how you feel.
371
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,382
Even if nothing comes of it.
372
00:12:46,407 --> 00:12:47,772
She came here to see you.
373
00:12:47,797 --> 00:12:49,054
I bet you're reading into it.
374
00:12:49,079 --> 00:12:50,177
What if I go talk to her?
375
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:51,655
So I fly you down,
376
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,600
- you are my gift to Nick.
- I'm in.
377
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:54,671
Have you talked to Reagan about this?
378
00:12:54,696 --> 00:12:56,295
I bet she'd be awesome to talk to.
379
00:12:56,335 --> 00:12:58,264
Just tell him you believe
in him and that he can do it.
380
00:12:58,289 --> 00:12:59,710
Just go talk to Reagan.
381
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:00,827
So, work it out.
382
00:13:00,852 --> 00:13:02,151
You know who you should
talk to about this,
383
00:13:02,176 --> 00:13:04,225
because he could answer
all your questions, is Nick.
384
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,561
- No. No.
- Nick!
385
00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:07,624
(gasps) Oh, my God.
386
00:13:07,776 --> 00:13:09,309
It's not all of a sudden.
387
00:13:09,345 --> 00:13:11,093
- They've needed me all along.
- SCHMIDT and CECE: Yeah.
388
00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:13,655
- Am I the only reason they're together?
- SCHMIDT and CECE: Yeah.
389
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,546
Am I the architect of my own nightmare?
390
00:13:15,571 --> 00:13:17,103
Okay, no, no, no, no, honey.
391
00:13:17,128 --> 00:13:18,335
It's not like you
introduced them or something.
392
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,818
Well, they did just get together
393
00:13:19,843 --> 00:13:21,381
because she left for jury duty.
394
00:13:21,398 --> 00:13:24,681
I've pushed those two together
like a god on Mount Olympus,
395
00:13:24,706 --> 00:13:26,171
too cheap to pay for porn.
396
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:29,018
No, no, no, it's like their
relationship is a flood
397
00:13:29,043 --> 00:13:31,210
that's about to happen and
you're the little Dutch boy
398
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,578
with your thumb in the dike.
399
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:33,779
JESS: Well, no more.
400
00:13:33,815 --> 00:13:36,649
I'm taking my thumb out of them.
401
00:13:36,684 --> 00:13:37,883
(groans)
402
00:13:37,919 --> 00:13:39,652
Is there anything other than
403
00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:41,859
Dutch boys or... god porn?
404
00:13:41,884 --> 00:13:43,789
I know, pandas. I'm a zookeeper.
405
00:13:43,825 --> 00:13:45,233
- They are my panda.
- What?
406
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,608
- What?
- Pandas wouldn't be alive
407
00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:47,638
without humans.
408
00:13:47,663 --> 00:13:49,397
They can't run, they can't growl,
409
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,497
they can't even mate without us.
410
00:13:51,532 --> 00:13:53,468
Have you been helping
Nick and Reagan mate?
411
00:13:53,493 --> 00:13:54,834
In a way, yes.
412
00:13:54,869 --> 00:13:56,068
But I'm done.
413
00:13:56,104 --> 00:13:58,504
This zookeeper is through
handing out bamboo.
414
00:13:58,539 --> 00:13:59,805
Reagan and Nick deserve
415
00:13:59,841 --> 00:14:02,045
a chance to see if they
can survive on their own.
416
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:05,733
Yes, and the zookeeper
deserves a chance to...
417
00:14:06,142 --> 00:14:09,654
be on a late night show
with hilarious animals
418
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:10,848
that...
419
00:14:10,873 --> 00:14:13,009
poop on the... host's...
420
00:14:13,034 --> 00:14:14,709
- I don't... what am I saying anymore?
- I don't know.
421
00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:15,905
I don't even know.
422
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:17,725
Look, honey, you...
423
00:14:17,826 --> 00:14:20,863
you deserve the right...
424
00:14:20,888 --> 00:14:22,621
to do what's best for you.
425
00:14:22,925 --> 00:14:24,558
Well... (sighs)
426
00:14:24,683 --> 00:14:26,049
that, too.
427
00:14:26,948 --> 00:14:28,573
I saw a lizard once,
428
00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:31,175
uh, making diarrhea on Johnny Carson.
429
00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:32,952
(Winston and Aly laughing)
430
00:14:32,977 --> 00:14:35,652
TRAMPOLINE: You are
number one supreme jumper!
431
00:14:35,677 --> 00:14:37,808
Okay, I have, like, a million questions
432
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,714
about what's going on here, but...
433
00:14:39,739 --> 00:14:42,167
TRAMPOLINE: You are
bouncer of much success!
434
00:14:42,192 --> 00:14:43,355
- Yeah, we are!
- (grunts)
435
00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,417
Could you guys stick
around for a little bit?
436
00:14:45,442 --> 00:14:47,380
- 'Cause I don't...
- TRAMPOLINE: You soar higher
437
00:14:47,405 --> 00:14:49,395
- than osprey and crane!
- Yes!
438
00:14:49,419 --> 00:14:51,629
I don't want to be alone
with Nick and Reagan.
439
00:14:51,654 --> 00:14:53,654
TRAMPOLINE: You are gravity's master!
440
00:14:53,679 --> 00:14:55,379
He weeps at your feet.
441
00:14:55,404 --> 00:14:57,471
Okay, sure, Jess.
442
00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:00,200
We don't have to be at the
station till... till, uh...
443
00:15:00,225 --> 00:15:01,978
ALY: This just says we're
ten days from a full moon.
444
00:15:02,014 --> 00:15:03,680
Yeah, it's weird, I can't
get mine out of scuba mode.
445
00:15:03,715 --> 00:15:05,645
- I don't know how to read this.
- It's 11:45.
446
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,207
- What?!
- What? Oh, no, no, no, no. Come on.
447
00:15:07,232 --> 00:15:09,049
TRAMPOLINE: Farewell,
emperors of trampoline.
448
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,254
Look, sorry, Jess,
449
00:15:10,279 --> 00:15:12,532
but we got to be at the
station in less than 15 minutes.
450
00:15:12,557 --> 00:15:15,792
Oh! I just figured out something
that you definitely do not know.
451
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,988
I blew my nose once and a bug came out.
452
00:15:18,013 --> 00:15:19,496
We were all there when that happened.
453
00:15:19,531 --> 00:15:21,340
That was at my birthday brunch.
454
00:15:21,365 --> 00:15:22,684
Hey, Jess!
455
00:15:22,709 --> 00:15:24,247
Oh, hey, guys. I can't talk;
456
00:15:24,272 --> 00:15:25,659
I have so much paper to fold.
457
00:15:25,684 --> 00:15:27,362
REAGAN: Well, you better
get it all folded tonight,
458
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:29,862
because guess where you are
being whisked away to tomorrow.
459
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,364
(chuckles) Palm Springs, California,
460
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,958
where the only thing
hotter than the weather
461
00:15:32,983 --> 00:15:34,371
are the gay senior citizens
462
00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:35,949
and SOCALYALCON 6.
463
00:15:35,974 --> 00:15:37,107
Jess, we've been talking about
464
00:15:37,132 --> 00:15:38,730
how much we appreciate your friendship
465
00:15:38,755 --> 00:15:40,285
and how close we both
feel to you, right?
466
00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:42,754
- Yeah, that's right.
- Well, I, too, have, um,
467
00:15:42,836 --> 00:15:45,353
- felt that closeness, and, um...
- That's why we got you this.
468
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,649
Oh, no.
469
00:15:46,674 --> 00:15:48,673
- That is for you now.
- No.
470
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,397
This and a necklace? (chuckles)
471
00:15:50,481 --> 00:15:53,215
Neck, neck, neck, neck,
na-neck, neck, neck
472
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,140
Neck's all loaded up.
473
00:15:55,165 --> 00:15:56,731
Uh, but seriously, I can't accept this.
474
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,696
It's-it's too, um, expensive.
475
00:15:58,721 --> 00:16:00,407
Money is no object.
476
00:16:00,432 --> 00:16:03,337
That's why we rented a custom van,
477
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:05,329
- and even got space radio.
- Satellite radio.
478
00:16:05,354 --> 00:16:06,361
No, space radio,
479
00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:07,932
the one that connects
to everything in the air.
480
00:16:07,956 --> 00:16:09,923
- There's a satellite.
- What, the satellite's in the ground?
481
00:16:09,948 --> 00:16:11,408
No, the satellite is in the air.
482
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:12,631
- Right. Space. Yeah.
- In the air.
483
00:16:12,656 --> 00:16:13,916
Satellite radio.
484
00:16:13,941 --> 00:16:15,846
And don't you worry
about accommodations,
485
00:16:15,871 --> 00:16:17,135
because we also took care of that.
486
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,559
You got your very own hotel room.
487
00:16:18,584 --> 00:16:20,651
It's adjacent to ours,
but it's very private.
488
00:16:20,676 --> 00:16:22,209
I mean, it is called a peekaboo suite,
489
00:16:22,234 --> 00:16:24,611
so there might be a
little bit of crossover.
490
00:16:24,636 --> 00:16:25,737
NICK: It's everything you like:
491
00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:27,799
it-it's kids, it's reading.
492
00:16:27,824 --> 00:16:29,790
You are gonna get so
many free bookmarks.
493
00:16:29,815 --> 00:16:31,332
Do I get a per diem?
494
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,024
Yeah. What's that?
495
00:16:33,049 --> 00:16:34,564
- All right, doggy door.
- Sealed.
496
00:16:34,589 --> 00:16:35,631
- Attic.
- Padlocked.
497
00:16:35,656 --> 00:16:36,721
- Crawlspace.
- Uncrawlable.
498
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,361
The cast of Sneakers
couldn't get into this place.
499
00:16:38,386 --> 00:16:39,401
Uh...
500
00:16:39,426 --> 00:16:41,303
Well, I guess I'm going to Palm Springs.
501
00:16:41,328 --> 00:16:42,971
I just need your big-ass hat.
502
00:16:42,996 --> 00:16:44,385
The front door.
503
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:45,979
Bye.
504
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,775
25 points of entry is
too many points of entry!
505
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,971
- (door closes)
- How? How?!
506
00:16:51,628 --> 00:16:54,941
507
00:16:59,147 --> 00:17:01,357
Wait, wait, don't tell me.
508
00:17:01,382 --> 00:17:04,249
Agent Isosceles, part geometry prodigy,
509
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:07,185
part CIA spy, all scared of girls.
510
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:09,630
- Wrong. Cadet Isosceles.
- Oh.
511
00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:12,857
It's all right. You know,
it's just, technically,
512
00:17:12,947 --> 00:17:14,446
this is just for myself...
513
00:17:14,471 --> 00:17:15,872
(voice fading)
514
00:17:21,803 --> 00:17:23,217
Wait.
515
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:26,170
Do you remember when you had
to smuggle the golden sextant
516
00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:27,717
out of the Paris Math Academy?
517
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,146
- I do.
- I have a mission for you...
518
00:17:30,303 --> 00:17:32,005
that is even more sensitive.
519
00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:33,670
(grunting)
520
00:17:33,865 --> 00:17:35,912
- Son of a...
- All right, this is the last of it.
521
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,584
Whew! Are you sure we have to do this?
522
00:17:37,609 --> 00:17:40,399
Babe, we're police officers
who almost missed a shift
523
00:17:40,424 --> 00:17:42,257
because we were busy bouncing.
524
00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:43,425
You're right.
525
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:46,238
Our capacity for joy
is just way too high.
526
00:17:46,263 --> 00:17:48,896
Okay, so I have one last secret.
527
00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:50,771
So cute that you keep
calling them secrets.
528
00:17:50,796 --> 00:17:51,990
Just hear me out.
529
00:17:52,015 --> 00:17:55,714
Um, I've lied to every
girl I said "I love you" to.
530
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,670
I mean, I thought I
loved them, but then...
531
00:17:58,695 --> 00:18:01,281
I met you and realized...
532
00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:03,468
I've never been in love before.
533
00:18:04,389 --> 00:18:05,671
I did not know that.
534
00:18:05,696 --> 00:18:07,303
Yeah, it was eating me up inside,
535
00:18:07,328 --> 00:18:10,443
so I called them each
individually and said,
536
00:18:10,468 --> 00:18:11,954
"I never loved you."
537
00:18:11,989 --> 00:18:14,161
Okay. Seems unnecessary.
538
00:18:14,186 --> 00:18:15,546
One of them took it very badly.
539
00:18:15,571 --> 00:18:17,194
Oh, one of them took it badly?
540
00:18:17,219 --> 00:18:19,614
I mean, she's okay now.
Well, sort... kinda.
541
00:18:19,639 --> 00:18:21,568
She lives at the top
of a very tall tree.
542
00:18:21,593 --> 00:18:23,647
Maybe, like, run stuff like that by me.
543
00:18:23,672 --> 00:18:25,772
Okay, let me just sign this
right here. Here you go.
544
00:18:25,797 --> 00:18:28,944
My associate asked me to
give this to one of you.
545
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,439
She had to go.
546
00:18:30,474 --> 00:18:31,921
The rest is in the note.
547
00:18:32,038 --> 00:18:34,866
Uh, it says, "I had to go. Jess."
548
00:18:34,891 --> 00:18:36,905
Did she say any...
549
00:18:38,983 --> 00:18:40,415
What's this book about?
550
00:18:40,451 --> 00:18:42,618
Uh, it's... I mean, it's...
551
00:18:42,653 --> 00:18:45,316
it's hard to exp... Reagan?
552
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,896
- Uh...
- Reagan, what is it...
553
00:18:48,426 --> 00:18:50,259
Just tell her what it's about.
554
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,888
He wrote this book.
555
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:57,976
It's about a man with nothing,
556
00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:00,936
risking everything to feel something.
557
00:19:01,539 --> 00:19:03,655
I'll take it. Can you sign it?
558
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,741
"Kill yourself." (chuckles)
559
00:19:06,526 --> 00:19:07,758
It's a joke.
560
00:19:07,783 --> 00:19:09,321
It's a reference to...
561
00:19:09,346 --> 00:19:11,013
You'll get it. (chuckles)
562
00:19:11,048 --> 00:19:14,725
Hey, so how's
SOCALYCAL... SOCALYALCON 6?
563
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:16,852
JESS: I don't know. I'm at the airport.
564
00:19:16,887 --> 00:19:19,254
- What? Where are you going?
- I don't know.
565
00:19:19,289 --> 00:19:21,266
- How long you gonna be gone for?
- I don't know.
566
00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:23,594
- What's two plus two?
- Four. I'm listening to your questions,
567
00:19:23,619 --> 00:19:25,446
I just don't know the answer to them.
568
00:19:25,471 --> 00:19:27,227
I mean, this isn't
like you; you always say
569
00:19:27,252 --> 00:19:29,164
if you had to choose
between planning a trip
570
00:19:29,189 --> 00:19:31,099
or taking a trip, you'd choose planning.
571
00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:32,367
And I stand by that.
572
00:19:32,403 --> 00:19:34,745
I just, I really need
a change of scenery.
573
00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:37,372
I'm probably just gonna
hang with my dad in Portland.
574
00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:38,540
I did what you said.
575
00:19:38,575 --> 00:19:40,137
I did what was right for me today.
576
00:19:40,162 --> 00:19:42,354
I just don't know what's
right for me tomorrow.
577
00:19:42,379 --> 00:19:45,120
I do know that the prices of the tickets
578
00:19:45,145 --> 00:19:46,525
are not going down while we yap.
579
00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:48,739
So I got to go. I love you. Bye.
580
00:19:49,637 --> 00:19:52,473
- (ringtone playing)
- Oh, Cece, I'm fine...
581
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,159
I don't know why you disappeared, Jess,
582
00:19:57,194 --> 00:20:00,495
but you know what, I'm sure you'll
fill me in back at the hotel.
583
00:20:00,531 --> 00:20:02,870
Also, when I sign a
book "Kill yourself,"
584
00:20:02,895 --> 00:20:04,434
you think they know that's a reference
585
00:20:04,459 --> 00:20:07,426
to Pepperwood's dilemma
at the fish market, right?
586
00:20:08,146 --> 00:20:11,113
Actually, you know what,
that's a question for Reagan.
587
00:20:11,138 --> 00:20:12,374
Okay, sorry.
588
00:20:12,409 --> 00:20:13,869
See you later, Jess.
589
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,223
Cece, come check this out.
590
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,083
(locks clicking)
591
00:20:21,118 --> 00:20:22,350
What?
592
00:20:22,386 --> 00:20:24,191
Did that, did that just lock everything?
593
00:20:24,216 --> 00:20:27,583
One touch secures every point
of entry in the entire house,
594
00:20:27,608 --> 00:20:29,758
bringing us convenience
and real-time peace of mind.
595
00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:30,958
Okay, can I unlock it?
596
00:20:30,983 --> 00:20:32,571
Well, unlocking it requires a pass code.
597
00:20:32,596 --> 00:20:35,434
Ours is "my beautiful
Cece," all one word.
598
00:20:35,459 --> 00:20:36,692
- Very sweet.
- (phone chimes)
599
00:20:36,717 --> 00:20:38,777
Oh, shoot. Actually, I screwed up.
600
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,569
Um, it's "my beautiful, beautiful Cece."
601
00:20:40,604 --> 00:20:42,804
- Two "beautifuls."
- Okay.
602
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,036
(phone chimes)
603
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,433
(clears throat)
604
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:47,619
Oh, you know what, I know what it is.
605
00:20:47,644 --> 00:20:49,661
Great, just put it in. I'm freezing.
606
00:20:49,686 --> 00:20:51,605
I can't. It only gives you three tries,
607
00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:53,067
then it locks you out
of the app for 12 hours.
608
00:20:53,092 --> 00:20:55,130
- For 12 hours?!
- It's fine. We'll go analog.
609
00:20:55,155 --> 00:20:56,247
Give me your key.
610
00:20:56,272 --> 00:20:59,620
Uh, I'd love to, but
it's on the counter,
611
00:20:59,645 --> 00:21:01,153
next to yours.
612
00:21:01,442 --> 00:21:03,592
It's gonna be fine.
Don't worry about a thing.
613
00:21:03,627 --> 00:21:05,208
I promise you, we'll figure this out.
614
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:06,380
- Override.
- (phone chimes)
615
00:21:06,405 --> 00:21:07,740
- My beautiful, beautiful Cece.
- (phone chimes)
616
00:21:07,765 --> 00:21:09,865
- Override. Override.
- Oh, God.
617
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,909
(coughing)
618
00:21:12,934 --> 00:21:15,337
- Were you in the chimney?
- (hacks) Yes.
619
00:21:15,372 --> 00:21:17,072
The 26th point of entry.
620
00:21:17,107 --> 00:21:18,907
- (coughing)
- Oh, my God.
621
00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:20,278
Also, we have squirrels.
622
00:21:20,303 --> 00:21:21,803
Aw, I love squirrels.
623
00:21:22,242 --> 00:21:23,411
They're not alive.
624
00:21:23,447 --> 00:21:25,164
I counted...
625
00:21:25,189 --> 00:21:26,937
at least nine of 'em.
626
00:21:29,531 --> 00:21:31,084
- Oh, my God. Cece
- (knocking)
627
00:21:31,109 --> 00:21:32,787
My beautiful, beautiful Cece!
628
00:21:32,837 --> 00:21:37,387
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
46195
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.