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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,430 --> 00:00:03,096 ALL: Road trip! 2 00:00:03,164 --> 00:00:04,030 NICK: See you guys. 3 00:00:04,098 --> 00:00:04,898 JESS: Have a good time. 4 00:00:04,965 --> 00:00:06,066 SCHMIDT: Let's go. 5 00:00:06,133 --> 00:00:07,467 We're just gonna have a chill day in. 6 00:00:07,535 --> 00:00:09,035 - WINSTON: Road trip! - NICK: Yeah! 7 00:00:09,103 --> 00:00:10,670 I said, "Chill day in..." 8 00:00:11,772 --> 00:00:13,073 but did I mean it? 9 00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:14,541 [laughs] 10 00:00:14,608 --> 00:00:16,209 Wait, I thought we were having a chill day. 11 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,877 Oh... we are... 12 00:00:17,945 --> 00:00:19,679 Oh, good... not. 13 00:00:19,747 --> 00:00:20,747 Welcome to 14 00:00:20,815 --> 00:00:22,749 your bachelorette party 2.0. 15 00:00:22,817 --> 00:00:24,084 I got... 16 00:00:24,151 --> 00:00:25,385 - the nail polish. - Mm. 17 00:00:25,453 --> 00:00:27,420 - I got comfy socks. - Okay. 18 00:00:27,488 --> 00:00:30,190 I have Canadian Broadcast Television's 19 00:00:30,257 --> 00:00:31,357 1985 masterpiece, 20 00:00:31,425 --> 00:00:33,359 Anne of Green Gables. 21 00:00:33,427 --> 00:00:34,360 Good ol' A.G.G. 22 00:00:34,428 --> 00:00:35,361 But, oh, wait... 23 00:00:35,429 --> 00:00:37,097 who invited this 24 00:00:37,164 --> 00:00:39,199 little green chimney? 25 00:00:40,201 --> 00:00:41,134 I-it's a bong. 26 00:00:41,202 --> 00:00:42,035 Yeah. 27 00:00:42,103 --> 00:00:44,388 Oh, scoot, once every ten years, 28 00:00:44,389 --> 00:00:45,865 Jessica Day likes to partake 29 00:00:45,865 --> 00:00:49,201 in what the Native Americans call cannabis. 30 00:00:49,268 --> 00:00:50,235 - That's Latin. - I like to call it 31 00:00:50,303 --> 00:00:51,303 Giggle Dirt. 32 00:00:51,370 --> 00:00:52,671 You know, we really don't 33 00:00:52,738 --> 00:00:54,005 have to do this, because every time 34 00:00:54,073 --> 00:00:55,674 you smoke weed you almost die. 35 00:00:55,741 --> 00:00:58,176 I'm gonna Jackass into these melons! 36 00:00:58,244 --> 00:00:59,277 Ah... 37 00:00:59,345 --> 00:01:00,779 Ah... 38 00:01:00,846 --> 00:01:02,781 Return of the mack 39 00:01:02,848 --> 00:01:03,782 Oh, my God 40 00:01:03,849 --> 00:01:05,350 Return of high Jess 41 00:01:05,418 --> 00:01:06,284 Here I am 42 00:01:06,352 --> 00:01:07,452 Return of high Jess 43 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:08,520 Once again 44 00:01:08,588 --> 00:01:10,622 - Return of the mack - [whoops] 45 00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:12,123 Top of the world 46 00:01:12,191 --> 00:01:13,458 Return of the mack, watch my flow... 47 00:01:13,526 --> 00:01:14,960 Anne Shirley... 48 00:01:16,862 --> 00:01:18,296 what in heck are you doing? 49 00:01:19,865 --> 00:01:21,466 Fishing for lake trout. 50 00:01:21,534 --> 00:01:22,801 - Hey. - Hmm? 51 00:01:22,868 --> 00:01:24,703 - GILBERT: For lake trout? - Remember Coach? 52 00:01:26,405 --> 00:01:27,939 - [laughing]: - Oh, yeah. 53 00:01:28,007 --> 00:01:29,608 Where is he? 54 00:01:29,675 --> 00:01:31,910 55 00:01:33,746 --> 00:01:36,081 Anne, wait, wait a minute. 56 00:01:36,148 --> 00:01:37,415 I was just down at the post office 57 00:01:37,483 --> 00:01:38,617 - to see if the Queens results... - Like, why... 58 00:01:38,684 --> 00:01:39,918 like, why... 59 00:01:39,986 --> 00:01:42,020 like why are Gilbert's lips so sexual? 60 00:01:42,088 --> 00:01:45,624 Wait a minute, you ninny, we tied for first place, 61 00:01:45,691 --> 00:01:47,092 - you and I. - Man, I... 62 00:01:47,159 --> 00:01:49,361 I-I love Schmidt, you know I love Schmidt, 63 00:01:49,428 --> 00:01:51,696 but I would throw it all away for Gilbert. 64 00:01:51,764 --> 00:01:54,032 I would just ruin my life to that boy. 65 00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,867 I'm just sorry you had to share it with me. 66 00:01:55,935 --> 00:01:57,869 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 67 00:01:57,937 --> 00:01:59,104 Wait a minute. 68 00:01:59,171 --> 00:02:00,772 The very fact that socks exist 69 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,241 is proof that shoes don't work. 70 00:02:03,309 --> 00:02:04,676 Oh, my God, I... my hearing is, 71 00:02:04,744 --> 00:02:06,745 like, so good without my glasses on. 72 00:02:06,812 --> 00:02:08,013 I'm, like... 73 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,682 a super hear-o. 74 00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:11,616 Just... 75 00:02:11,684 --> 00:02:12,617 eating up sounds 76 00:02:12,685 --> 00:02:13,852 with my ear mouths. 77 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:15,520 Oh, my God, oh, my God, 78 00:02:15,588 --> 00:02:17,188 oh, my God, oh, my God. 79 00:02:17,256 --> 00:02:20,458 Oh, my God, wait till you try that. 80 00:02:20,526 --> 00:02:22,427 - Okay. - Put them on. 81 00:02:22,495 --> 00:02:25,530 It's like my hearing is, like, what a dog hears. 82 00:02:25,598 --> 00:02:27,299 ANNE: and I was calmly waiting for it. 83 00:02:27,366 --> 00:02:29,534 I can hear the TV. 84 00:02:29,602 --> 00:02:31,303 I can hear the TV. 85 00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:32,404 I can hear the TV. 86 00:02:32,471 --> 00:02:33,905 - [sighs] - Man. 87 00:02:33,973 --> 00:02:35,073 Oh, my God. 88 00:02:35,141 --> 00:02:36,474 Okay, this stuff is really strong. 89 00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:38,476 Where did you get it? 90 00:02:38,544 --> 00:02:40,345 I know people... 91 00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:42,180 through you. 92 00:02:42,248 --> 00:02:45,684 So, it's just gonna be me and Cece, uh, but I want to, 93 00:02:45,751 --> 00:02:47,585 you know, throw a little... 94 00:02:47,653 --> 00:02:49,487 gasoline on the fire, if you know what I mean. 95 00:02:49,555 --> 00:02:52,757 I have Russian nesting doll. 96 00:02:52,825 --> 00:02:53,925 Uh-oh. 97 00:02:55,161 --> 00:02:55,927 It's grenade. 98 00:02:55,995 --> 00:02:57,028 Just looking for 99 00:02:57,096 --> 00:02:58,863 a little weed, Nadia. 100 00:02:58,931 --> 00:03:00,799 And what the heck, throw in that bag of kettle corn, too. 101 00:03:03,769 --> 00:03:05,737 [laughs] 102 00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:07,906 [knocking on door] 103 00:03:09,408 --> 00:03:10,342 Oh, scoot! 104 00:03:10,409 --> 00:03:11,910 You got me a stripper?! 105 00:03:11,977 --> 00:03:13,920 So, uh, you want me to sign my package, or... 106 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:14,854 Wait, I think 107 00:03:14,921 --> 00:03:16,147 - he's just a... - A man... 108 00:03:16,148 --> 00:03:18,148 trying to do my job for the U.S. Postal Service, 109 00:03:18,215 --> 00:03:19,249 not a stripper. 110 00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:20,417 Yes, I dance. 111 00:03:20,484 --> 00:03:22,152 Yes, I'm sexy... 112 00:03:22,219 --> 00:03:23,420 but I don't do it professionally. 113 00:03:23,487 --> 00:03:24,821 Now, could you please just sign here? 114 00:03:24,889 --> 00:03:26,423 Your calves look like a snake 115 00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:27,891 swallowed a bag of ropes. You know that, right? 116 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,159 I'm sorry for my friend 117 00:03:29,226 --> 00:03:30,493 objectifying you, 118 00:03:30,561 --> 00:03:33,830 but in her defense, you are fine as hell. 119 00:03:33,898 --> 00:03:35,165 Fine as hell! 120 00:03:35,232 --> 00:03:36,332 I know you're not a stripper, 121 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,400 but is there any way you could 122 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,435 just take your short pants off? 123 00:03:38,502 --> 00:03:39,469 Mm-hmm. 124 00:03:39,537 --> 00:03:40,537 - [chuckles] - Have a nice day. 125 00:03:40,604 --> 00:03:41,538 Om, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, 126 00:03:41,605 --> 00:03:42,772 - nom, nom, nom. - Nom, nom, nom. 127 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,374 - Sorry. - Very sorry. 128 00:03:44,442 --> 00:03:45,809 - Sorry, sorry. - But we are not sorry about that. 129 00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:47,710 - Keep walking away there! - Oh, keep... slow... 130 00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:49,446 - it down there for a second. - [whooping] 131 00:03:49,513 --> 00:03:50,447 - Ay-ay-ay. - Ooh... 132 00:03:50,514 --> 00:03:51,881 [yelling grito] 133 00:03:51,949 --> 00:03:52,782 [both catcalling] 134 00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:54,651 - Smack that! Sorry. - Ooh. 135 00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:56,886 [grunts] 136 00:03:56,954 --> 00:03:58,054 I think this is 137 00:03:58,122 --> 00:03:59,756 a gift from our registry. 138 00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:01,157 Wait, don't open it! 139 00:04:01,225 --> 00:04:02,492 What if I-inside of it 140 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,061 is us, but we're older? 141 00:04:05,129 --> 00:04:06,830 I've no clue what this is. 142 00:04:06,897 --> 00:04:09,199 You know, Schmidt handled everything from the registry. 143 00:04:10,301 --> 00:04:11,601 - [scanner beeping] - Crockpot! 144 00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:12,802 Kettle, kettle! 145 00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:13,803 Espresso maker! 146 00:04:13,871 --> 00:04:14,771 Trivet! 147 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:16,372 Melon baller! 148 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:20,043 It's a bread maker? 149 00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:21,144 From... 150 00:04:21,212 --> 00:04:22,712 oh, from Schmidt's mom. 151 00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:26,549 "Cece, this bread maker couldn't be easier to use." 152 00:04:26,617 --> 00:04:28,051 "It has one button." 153 00:04:28,118 --> 00:04:30,453 "Even you can do it with a few tries." 154 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:33,223 "Ha, ha, Louise." 155 00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:35,558 What does that mean?! 156 00:04:36,220 --> 00:04:37,987 Oh, no. 157 00:04:38,055 --> 00:04:38,988 She... 158 00:04:39,056 --> 00:04:40,657 Oh, no! 159 00:04:40,724 --> 00:04:41,925 I mean, is she trying to say 160 00:04:41,992 --> 00:04:44,108 that I can't even push one button? 161 00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:46,042 She doesn't think that I can take care 162 00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,877 of her precious, little boy. 163 00:04:47,945 --> 00:04:49,212 She doesn't like that Schmidt does 164 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:50,346 - all the cooking... - Hold up, 165 00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:52,815 hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. 166 00:04:52,883 --> 00:04:54,817 This simple bitch 167 00:04:54,885 --> 00:04:56,185 wants you to be some kind of 168 00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:57,320 June Cleaver, Betty Draper, 169 00:04:57,388 --> 00:04:59,255 Carol Brady wifey?! 170 00:04:59,323 --> 00:05:00,089 - Mm-mm. - It is the 171 00:05:00,157 --> 00:05:01,357 - 21st century! - Uh-huh. 172 00:05:01,425 --> 00:05:02,692 Fifth generation feminism! 173 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,360 - Keep going. - Work-life balance! 174 00:05:04,428 --> 00:05:05,328 - We need to rise up. - Yeah! 175 00:05:05,396 --> 00:05:08,431 22% less pay for the same job?! 176 00:05:08,499 --> 00:05:09,599 Don't tell me what to wax! 177 00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:11,267 Sideburn where my thigh turn. 178 00:05:11,335 --> 00:05:12,702 You know what we need to do to this thing?! 179 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:13,669 Bake bread in it! 180 00:05:13,737 --> 00:05:15,605 Wait, wait, wait! 181 00:05:15,672 --> 00:05:16,639 What, what?! 182 00:05:19,042 --> 00:05:21,144 You'll do a lot more damage with this. 183 00:05:21,211 --> 00:05:22,211 This is why I love you. 184 00:05:24,114 --> 00:05:26,149 Homemade bread's for Europeans! 185 00:05:26,216 --> 00:05:27,216 - That's right! - Yeah! 186 00:05:27,284 --> 00:05:28,217 U.S.A.! 187 00:05:28,285 --> 00:05:30,920 BOTH: U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 188 00:05:30,988 --> 00:05:34,257 Oh, my God, I just realized some day I'm gonna have 189 00:05:34,324 --> 00:05:36,893 to speak at my mother's funeral. 190 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,394 Wow. 191 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,908 - U.S.A.! - U.S.A.! 192 00:05:41,976 --> 00:05:42,669 - [phone ringing] - U.S.A.! - U.S.A.! 193 00:05:42,669 --> 00:05:43,283 Oh, wait... hey! 194 00:05:43,284 --> 00:05:45,053 We're coming up on the rental place right now. 195 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,454 I just got an e-mail notification 196 00:05:46,522 --> 00:05:48,623 that our first wedding gift has arrived. 197 00:05:49,636 --> 00:05:50,713 Oh, y-you did? 198 00:05:50,714 --> 00:05:51,718 Spoiler alert, 199 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:54,053 - it's a bread maker. - Bread maker. 200 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,321 Cece, do me a favor and bring it inside. 201 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,223 It's in the hallway right now. 202 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,356 Yeah, I'll-I'll go... 203 00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:58,657 I'll go get the... the bread maker 204 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,526 and bring it inside, in one piece, 205 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:01,594 safe and sound. 206 00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:02,695 I love you so much, I got to go. 207 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,196 SCHMIDT, NICK, WINSTON: Bread maker! 208 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,031 [phone beeps off] 209 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,867 This was shipped like this 210 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,035 so we are gonna need a new one. 211 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,889 You obviously broke this yourself. 212 00:06:11,922 --> 00:06:12,855 Uh... 213 00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:13,295 [laughs] 214 00:06:13,296 --> 00:06:15,334 You obviously broke it yourself. 215 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,294 Yup. 216 00:06:16,361 --> 00:06:17,461 - No. - [Jess laughs] 217 00:06:17,529 --> 00:06:18,297 You crushed it with your mind. 218 00:06:18,298 --> 00:06:20,196 - Okay, you're calling me a witch? - No, no, no, 219 00:06:20,222 --> 00:06:22,556 - a sorceress, - A sorceress. 220 00:06:22,624 --> 00:06:23,691 You just have magical powers, 221 00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:24,769 you don't like... 222 00:06:24,795 --> 00:06:26,262 I don't know how I can help you today. 223 00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:27,237 It's like that episode of... 224 00:06:27,305 --> 00:06:28,238 remember that episode? 225 00:06:28,306 --> 00:06:29,273 Yeah. 226 00:06:29,341 --> 00:06:30,574 Of that... yeah. 227 00:06:30,642 --> 00:06:31,609 [sighs] 228 00:06:37,349 --> 00:06:38,449 So... 229 00:06:38,516 --> 00:06:40,250 Okay, so, like, um... 230 00:06:40,318 --> 00:06:42,586 how-how much would it... would it be to replace it? 231 00:06:43,688 --> 00:06:45,556 It's $1,200. 232 00:06:48,326 --> 00:06:50,894 Is there a store in the mall 233 00:06:50,962 --> 00:06:55,532 that sells $1,200 for, like, $50? 234 00:06:57,205 --> 00:06:59,654 How is this thing so expensive? 235 00:07:00,195 --> 00:07:02,396 JESS: Aly! 236 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,007 What are you doing here? 237 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:04,855 Seriously? 238 00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:07,355 We just had this conversation outside the mall. 239 00:07:07,355 --> 00:07:08,422 - Hey. - JESS: Aly! 240 00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:09,307 What are you doing here? 241 00:07:09,307 --> 00:07:10,775 You don't... remember that? 242 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,929 No, no, I do, I do. 243 00:07:13,047 --> 00:07:14,815 - You don't, do you? - I don't. 244 00:07:14,883 --> 00:07:15,916 [Jess laughs] 245 00:07:15,984 --> 00:07:17,484 - I don't. - I do. 246 00:07:17,552 --> 00:07:18,747 - Really? - No. 247 00:07:18,747 --> 00:07:18,988 Okay. 248 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,601 It's Cece's bachelorette party. 249 00:07:20,644 --> 00:07:22,545 Yeah... 250 00:07:22,612 --> 00:07:24,480 It's Cece's bachelorette party. 251 00:07:24,548 --> 00:07:25,648 Oh, yeah. 252 00:07:25,715 --> 00:07:26,916 - You do remember it? - No. [laughs] 253 00:07:26,983 --> 00:07:27,750 Don't remember it? 254 00:07:27,817 --> 00:07:28,884 - Mm-mm. - Anyway... 255 00:07:28,952 --> 00:07:30,452 this is my super 256 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,121 present boyfriend, Tripp. 257 00:07:32,188 --> 00:07:33,088 I'm sorry, 258 00:07:33,156 --> 00:07:34,056 he's dealing with a very 259 00:07:34,124 --> 00:07:35,257 important work crisis 260 00:07:35,325 --> 00:07:37,393 right now, since he's an agent 261 00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:38,961 for animal actors. 262 00:07:39,029 --> 00:07:40,462 Fine, fine! 263 00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:41,964 Hire Colonel Fantastic instead of Maurice. 264 00:07:42,032 --> 00:07:43,566 You want to walk onto Alfonso Cuar?n's set 265 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,690 and tell him that he lost his lead otter, 266 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,225 be my-be my guest, okay. 267 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,759 Who's gonna get her in the water with Naomi Watts? 268 00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,261 Colonel Fantastic? 269 00:07:50,329 --> 00:07:51,646 Yeah, right. 270 00:07:51,647 --> 00:07:53,718 It's my fifth year anniversary of being a cop 271 00:07:53,744 --> 00:07:55,645 and he's supposed to make me dinner... 272 00:07:55,712 --> 00:07:57,546 if he ever gets off the phone. 273 00:07:57,614 --> 00:07:58,814 Hey, babe, 274 00:07:58,882 --> 00:08:00,316 I need a left-handed spatula, okay? 275 00:08:00,384 --> 00:08:01,984 Don't tell me it's not a thing; it's a thing. 276 00:08:03,086 --> 00:08:05,021 Soul mates do exist. 277 00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:06,022 [laughs] 278 00:08:06,089 --> 00:08:07,023 What a wang. 279 00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,190 [both chuckle] 280 00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:09,191 - You know what? - Hmm? 281 00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,359 [gasps] 282 00:08:10,427 --> 00:08:11,794 I'm gonna tell Aly that 283 00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:13,462 Winston's in love with her! 284 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:14,864 No, Winston would kill you. 285 00:08:14,931 --> 00:08:16,332 Okay, I'll just text Winston 286 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,034 and I'll get him up to speed 287 00:08:18,101 --> 00:08:19,135 on Aly and Tripp. 288 00:08:21,938 --> 00:08:24,340 [humming]: Nailed it. 289 00:08:24,408 --> 00:08:25,675 Excuse me, are you actually 290 00:08:25,742 --> 00:08:26,676 gonna buy something? 291 00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:27,877 Yeah, we need to buy another 292 00:08:27,944 --> 00:08:29,211 bread maker, 'cause you claim 293 00:08:29,279 --> 00:08:31,514 we "destroyed" this one "with a stick." 294 00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:33,315 I never said stick and we're out of stock. 295 00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:35,051 Well, maybe that's what you said. 296 00:08:35,118 --> 00:08:36,919 You destroyed this thing with the stock. 297 00:08:36,987 --> 00:08:37,920 Is that what you did? 298 00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:38,921 You beat this with a stick? 299 00:08:38,989 --> 00:08:41,090 No, I didn't, I said you said... 300 00:08:41,158 --> 00:08:42,925 - you said stick. - But I didn't say stick. 301 00:08:42,993 --> 00:08:43,859 I never said stick. 302 00:08:43,927 --> 00:08:44,760 I don't even have a stick. 303 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:46,162 I live downtown. 304 00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:48,030 Well, we're-we're out of stock, so... 305 00:08:48,098 --> 00:08:49,098 But you-you have one right there. 306 00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:50,032 - [gasps] - Oh... 307 00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,434 that's the floor model. 308 00:08:51,501 --> 00:08:52,768 - Can't sell the floor model. - Yes, you... 309 00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,067 - it's right there. - It's right there. 310 00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:56,333 We need it to sell other bread makers. 311 00:08:56,334 --> 00:08:56,936 You just said 312 00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:58,570 you don't have other bread makers. 313 00:08:58,638 --> 00:08:59,471 I don't make the rules. 314 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,772 Who makes the rules? 315 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,440 Derek. 316 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:03,742 [inhaling] 317 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,143 - Definitely too high - No, I cannot deal 318 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,612 - to talk to Derek. - with Derek right now. 319 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,183 Okay, I have a really good plan, all right? 320 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,451 We just leave this here 321 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,187 and then we go do something different. 322 00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:17,189 Jessica, that is the first thing 323 00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:19,292 that Schmidt and I own together and I ruined it. 324 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,693 I have to do something. 325 00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,462 I have to replace it. 326 00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:23,797 [sighs] 327 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,632 Okay. 328 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,076 MAN: Feel like baking love 329 00:09:37,211 --> 00:09:39,813 Feel like baking love 330 00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:44,017 What? 331 00:09:44,085 --> 00:09:47,120 How does it know we're here? 332 00:09:47,188 --> 00:09:49,756 Feel like baking love... 333 00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:51,024 - What's happening? - Feel like 334 00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:52,692 F-feel like baking 335 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,195 Feel like baking love 336 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,663 [whispering]: Psst! Hey... 337 00:09:56,731 --> 00:09:58,164 Feel like baking love 338 00:09:58,232 --> 00:09:59,199 Feel like-feel like 339 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,101 Snap out of it, snap out of it. 340 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,936 Feel like baking love, feel like 341 00:10:03,004 --> 00:10:05,472 - Get down. Snap out of it. - Feel like... feel like baking love 342 00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:08,141 343 00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:09,876 [sighs] 344 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:12,212 [grunts] Get this puppy... 345 00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:24,924 [clattering] 346 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,259 Feel like baking love 347 00:10:26,327 --> 00:10:28,361 348 00:10:28,429 --> 00:10:30,196 Should we get snacks? 349 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,601 Feel like baking love 350 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,538 Feel like baking love 351 00:10:38,606 --> 00:10:39,939 Feel like baking love 352 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,408 [whispering]: Go, go! 353 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,045 No, he won't wear glasses. 354 00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,446 Uh, because he's not 355 00:10:46,514 --> 00:10:48,248 a library owl, he's a horror movie owl. 356 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,649 Look, 357 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,618 we're gonna do your cop dinner thing tomorrow. 358 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:52,647 [sighs] 359 00:10:52,647 --> 00:10:55,611 Yeah, this is just how I wanted to celebrate a major milestone. 360 00:10:55,612 --> 00:10:57,478 [gasps] What's happening there? 361 00:10:57,546 --> 00:10:58,131 Forget it, okay? Just go. 362 00:10:58,132 --> 00:10:59,166 And I hope your owl 363 00:10:59,233 --> 00:11:00,701 chokes on a mouse. 364 00:11:00,768 --> 00:11:03,270 That is so mean. 365 00:11:03,337 --> 00:11:04,337 I've seen that happen. 366 00:11:05,673 --> 00:11:07,274 [gasps] Did they just break up? 367 00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:08,742 This is huge for Winston. 368 00:11:08,810 --> 00:11:11,078 What are you... what... Hey, Jess, move. 369 00:11:11,145 --> 00:11:12,412 Jess, move, come on. Keep moving. 370 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,414 Keep moving, keep moving, keep moving. 371 00:11:14,482 --> 00:11:16,750 Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. 372 00:11:16,818 --> 00:11:17,751 Almost there, almost there. 373 00:11:17,819 --> 00:11:18,752 - ALY: Ugh. - Oh! 374 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:19,953 Tripp just took off. 375 00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,121 What, uh... 376 00:11:21,189 --> 00:11:22,989 are... what are you guys doing? 377 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,658 - BOTH: Nothing. - Do you need help with that box? 378 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,592 - Nope. - No, we're good. 379 00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:26,626 It looks heavy, I can help you. 380 00:11:26,694 --> 00:11:27,994 No, you don't want to get involved, 381 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,096 - trust me. - Please, don't make me say it. 382 00:11:29,163 --> 00:11:30,964 Fine, I'll say it. 383 00:11:31,032 --> 00:11:33,667 I don't really want to be alone right now, and so... 384 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,336 can I please just... like, come help you guys 385 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,471 make bread or whatever? 386 00:11:37,538 --> 00:11:39,005 Aw, of course, yeah. Let's go. 387 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,140 Got to go quickly, got to go quickly. 388 00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:41,141 Yeah, yeah, let's go, let's go. 389 00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:42,776 Did you trash the display? 390 00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,581 Is that a stolen floor model? 391 00:11:45,648 --> 00:11:46,599 Back off! 392 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,700 Do these ladies look like shoplifters to you? 393 00:11:50,436 --> 00:11:53,037 Oh, no. 394 00:11:53,105 --> 00:11:54,305 What are you doing? 395 00:11:54,373 --> 00:11:55,673 This isn't how you handcuff people. 396 00:11:55,741 --> 00:11:56,674 It's mall jail. 397 00:11:56,742 --> 00:11:57,742 I only have two handcuffs. 398 00:11:57,810 --> 00:11:58,843 I'm an actual cop. 399 00:11:58,911 --> 00:11:59,844 [laughing]: Yeah, right. 400 00:11:59,912 --> 00:12:01,012 I'm a cop! 401 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,447 For the love of mack daddy, 402 00:12:02,515 --> 00:12:04,182 - why can't you be cool? - Shut it! 403 00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:05,216 You're in my house now. 404 00:12:05,284 --> 00:12:06,951 Calm down, sir, your house is clearly 405 00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,186 a lost and found. 406 00:12:08,254 --> 00:12:10,188 JESS: And it's all just baby shoes... 407 00:12:10,256 --> 00:12:11,689 and babies don't even need shoes. 408 00:12:11,757 --> 00:12:13,792 Why not put that money towards something worthwhile 409 00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:15,794 like a cute hat or a raincoat? 410 00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,695 [laughing]: A baby in a raincoat. 411 00:12:17,763 --> 00:12:20,031 It's like... just like a... 412 00:12:20,099 --> 00:12:21,966 a little baby meteorologist. 413 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:23,168 [laughs] 414 00:12:23,235 --> 00:12:24,669 Hey, so, it's this simple, okay. 415 00:12:24,737 --> 00:12:26,004 We wanted to pay for the bread maker, 416 00:12:26,071 --> 00:12:27,372 but they wouldn't let us pay for it 417 00:12:27,439 --> 00:12:28,706 because it was a floor model, 418 00:12:28,774 --> 00:12:30,408 so we had a plan... I don't care. 419 00:12:32,745 --> 00:12:34,712 [laughs] [lock clicks] 420 00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:35,914 [laughs] 421 00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:37,582 Baby in a raincoat. 422 00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:38,683 [Jess laughing] 423 00:12:40,254 --> 00:12:42,241 This is bad, you guys. This is really bad! 424 00:12:42,242 --> 00:12:43,242 He's gonna call the real cops 425 00:12:43,311 --> 00:12:44,678 and I'm gonna be in so much trouble. 426 00:12:44,746 --> 00:12:46,346 I could lose my job... 427 00:12:46,414 --> 00:12:47,814 or worse... 428 00:12:47,882 --> 00:12:48,849 [gasps] 429 00:12:48,916 --> 00:12:50,317 They put me on train duty. 430 00:12:50,385 --> 00:12:52,352 I'm so sorry we got you in this situation, okay. 431 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:54,121 I am so sorry, too. 432 00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:55,522 Okay, how do we get out of here? 433 00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:57,224 How, how? Before the cops come. 434 00:12:57,291 --> 00:12:58,258 Oh! 435 00:12:58,326 --> 00:12:59,993 Yes, okay, guys, 436 00:13:00,061 --> 00:13:01,795 here's how we get out of here. 437 00:13:01,863 --> 00:13:03,964 We dress up in the clothes from the lost and found, 438 00:13:04,032 --> 00:13:05,766 and we start crying, 439 00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:08,635 and then he comes back in and he's like, "Where are the girls?" 440 00:13:08,703 --> 00:13:11,338 This is just babies in here." 441 00:13:11,406 --> 00:13:12,739 You're incredibly high. 442 00:13:12,807 --> 00:13:14,675 No. 443 00:13:14,742 --> 00:13:16,309 - Yeah. - No. 444 00:13:16,377 --> 00:13:18,011 - Mm-hmm. - No. No. 445 00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:19,646 - Yeah. - Who? 446 00:13:19,714 --> 00:13:21,682 - You. You, babe. - How did you know? 447 00:13:21,749 --> 00:13:23,450 Oh, I knew from the first second I saw you. 448 00:13:23,518 --> 00:13:24,985 Like, literally the first second. 449 00:13:25,053 --> 00:13:26,653 Okay, ideas, you, go. 450 00:13:26,721 --> 00:13:29,460 Oh, no, no, no, I am not giving you any ideas 451 00:13:29,486 --> 00:13:32,255 because it was my idea that got us into this mess 452 00:13:32,323 --> 00:13:33,489 in the first place. 453 00:13:33,557 --> 00:13:35,158 First... 454 00:13:35,225 --> 00:13:38,294 I bashed Schmidt's $1,200 bread maker. 455 00:13:38,362 --> 00:13:39,595 - $1,200? - Yeah. 456 00:13:39,663 --> 00:13:41,264 - For a bread maker? - I know. 457 00:13:41,332 --> 00:13:43,499 That's a lot of dough. 458 00:13:45,736 --> 00:13:47,003 I'm trying to wink. 459 00:13:47,071 --> 00:13:48,171 Am I winking? 460 00:13:48,238 --> 00:13:50,606 Then I got my best friend here 461 00:13:50,674 --> 00:13:52,008 to commit a crime, 462 00:13:52,076 --> 00:13:55,144 and now you might have... train duty? 463 00:13:55,212 --> 00:13:57,547 It's like marathon duty but without the hot guys 464 00:13:57,614 --> 00:13:58,781 pooping their pants. 465 00:13:58,849 --> 00:14:00,283 What does that say about me 466 00:14:00,351 --> 00:14:03,753 if I can't even take care of a bread maker? 467 00:14:03,821 --> 00:14:05,254 What if Louise was right? 468 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,423 What if I can't take care of Schmidt? 469 00:14:07,491 --> 00:14:10,326 How can you say you don't take care of people? 470 00:14:10,394 --> 00:14:13,162 You've been taking care of me my entire life. 471 00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:14,831 You're fierce and you are strong, 472 00:14:14,898 --> 00:14:18,634 and you would stand up for anyone that you love. 473 00:14:18,702 --> 00:14:21,004 You're like a big, scary mama bear. 474 00:14:21,071 --> 00:14:23,506 I'm gonna Jackass into these melons! 475 00:14:23,574 --> 00:14:24,774 [grunting] 476 00:14:24,842 --> 00:14:25,975 JESS: Ah... 477 00:14:26,043 --> 00:14:28,678 [Jess laughing] 478 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:33,349 I'm okay. 479 00:14:33,417 --> 00:14:35,184 [sighs] 480 00:14:35,252 --> 00:14:37,520 You're my mama bear, girl. 481 00:14:37,588 --> 00:14:39,222 Oh... 482 00:14:40,228 --> 00:14:41,324 I wish I had someone 483 00:14:41,392 --> 00:14:42,892 in my life who cared about me the way 484 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,060 you guys care about each other. 485 00:14:44,128 --> 00:14:45,194 [gasps] 486 00:14:45,262 --> 00:14:46,963 [whispering]: Oh, don't. 487 00:14:47,031 --> 00:14:48,731 - [whispering]: You do. - I just... I've been a cop 488 00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:50,700 - for five years and... - You do. 489 00:14:50,768 --> 00:14:51,801 Jessica! 490 00:14:51,869 --> 00:14:52,935 I just wanted to celebrate it, 491 00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:55,215 - [mouthing] - but then Tripp had to leave 492 00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:56,775 to meet an owl for sushi. 493 00:14:57,353 --> 00:15:00,741 An owl he sent a basket of mice to at Christmas, who 494 00:15:00,742 --> 00:15:02,675 I'm pretty sure has a nicer house than me. 495 00:15:02,743 --> 00:15:04,955 [gasps] Let me tell her... please! 496 00:15:04,981 --> 00:15:06,315 - [door opens] - I'll blame it on being stoned. 497 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:07,316 Stoned? 498 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,984 You're stoned? 499 00:15:09,052 --> 00:15:10,452 That makes this a drug case. 500 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:11,420 Okay, yeah, you have no idea 501 00:15:11,488 --> 00:15:12,525 what you're talking about. 502 00:15:12,526 --> 00:15:14,214 - Wait, no, I made a mistake. - You better get 503 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,807 comfortable, you're gonna be here 504 00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,084 for a long time, lady! 505 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:17,851 A long time! 506 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,553 Oh, you little... 507 00:15:20,621 --> 00:15:22,055 power trip... 508 00:15:22,123 --> 00:15:23,356 trash guard! 509 00:15:23,424 --> 00:15:24,424 You know what? 510 00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:26,531 This is over! 511 00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:27,876 The only way you 512 00:15:27,943 --> 00:15:29,344 are gonna get to her 513 00:15:29,412 --> 00:15:31,046 is if you go through me, 514 00:15:31,113 --> 00:15:35,550 and you are not getting through me. 515 00:15:37,386 --> 00:15:40,889 [in slow motion]: Mama bear. 516 00:15:40,956 --> 00:15:43,058 - [Cece growls] - ALY: Oh... 517 00:15:46,605 --> 00:15:48,773 [in slow motion]: Oh, don't do that. No... 518 00:15:48,841 --> 00:15:51,042 Oh 519 00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:52,278 Hey, no! 520 00:15:52,345 --> 00:15:53,279 No, no, no! 521 00:15:53,346 --> 00:15:54,280 Return of the mack 522 00:15:54,347 --> 00:15:55,528 I have a system. 523 00:15:55,529 --> 00:15:57,163 - Return of the mack - [guard yells] 524 00:15:57,231 --> 00:15:58,164 Come on 525 00:15:58,232 --> 00:15:59,332 Return of the mack 526 00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:01,200 - Oh, my God - No, please. 527 00:16:01,268 --> 00:16:03,069 - Return of the mack, here I am - The shoes. 528 00:16:03,137 --> 00:16:04,237 - Return of the mack - I had those all paired off. 529 00:16:04,304 --> 00:16:05,238 Once again 530 00:16:05,305 --> 00:16:06,272 Return of the mack 531 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,707 - Top of the world - Run! 532 00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:09,342 Return of the mack 533 00:16:09,409 --> 00:16:10,676 - Watch my flow - No! 534 00:16:10,744 --> 00:16:12,145 What? 535 00:16:12,212 --> 00:16:14,680 - Return of the mack - Hey, no, wait! No! 536 00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:15,681 537 00:16:15,749 --> 00:16:17,049 Return of the mack 538 00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:18,084 Watch my flow 539 00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:19,252 Return of the mack 540 00:16:19,319 --> 00:16:20,253 Here I go... 541 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,621 Mama bear! 542 00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:23,623 That was freaking awesome! 543 00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:25,291 Aly, Winston has a crush on you! 544 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,226 - [music stops] - What? 545 00:16:27,294 --> 00:16:28,728 - Return of the mack - Bishop has a crush on me?! 546 00:16:28,796 --> 00:16:29,762 Up and down... - Run! 547 00:16:32,671 --> 00:16:34,381 Bishop has a crush on me? 548 00:16:35,485 --> 00:16:36,418 Bishop? 549 00:16:36,486 --> 00:16:37,033 Mm-hmm. 550 00:16:37,033 --> 00:16:38,533 No, I can't date my partner. 551 00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:40,202 Why not? He's the best guy! 552 00:16:40,269 --> 00:16:41,870 And you broke up with what's-his-name. 553 00:16:41,938 --> 00:16:42,871 What? No, I didn't. 554 00:16:42,939 --> 00:16:44,706 - Hmm? - No, Tripp and I are 555 00:16:44,774 --> 00:16:46,374 just... we're in a fight. 556 00:16:48,611 --> 00:16:50,045 Ah. 557 00:16:50,112 --> 00:16:51,379 Interesting 558 00:16:51,447 --> 00:16:52,581 information. 559 00:16:52,648 --> 00:16:54,649 I... 560 00:16:54,895 --> 00:16:57,196 texted Winston and told him you were single. 561 00:16:57,222 --> 00:16:58,089 - What? - Oh... 562 00:16:58,156 --> 00:16:59,323 it's fine. 563 00:16:59,391 --> 00:17:00,658 They're in Las Vegas. 564 00:17:00,726 --> 00:17:01,982 They're... 565 00:17:01,982 --> 00:17:05,651 stuffing coins into the underpanties of women. 566 00:17:09,356 --> 00:17:10,156 Oh, my God! 567 00:17:10,224 --> 00:17:11,157 CECE: What happened to you? 568 00:17:11,225 --> 00:17:12,792 We can't talk 569 00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:14,394 about it right now. We're here to help Winston with... 570 00:17:14,461 --> 00:17:15,828 Who did that to you? Where are they? I will kill them. 571 00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:17,263 Oh, uh... 572 00:17:17,331 --> 00:17:19,332 truth be told, it was a child. 573 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,500 - WINSTON: Uh, Aly. - Child? 574 00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:21,834 You're... you're here. 575 00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,369 [laughs] 576 00:17:23,437 --> 00:17:25,705 Uh, guys, you... 577 00:17:25,773 --> 00:17:27,306 - you ready? - JESS: Winston. 578 00:17:27,374 --> 00:17:29,042 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait. - No... no. 579 00:17:29,109 --> 00:17:30,176 - Mm-mm, no. - Trust me. 580 00:17:30,244 --> 00:17:31,144 - Mm-mm, mm-mm. - Don't. Mm-mm. 581 00:17:31,211 --> 00:17:35,214 Alison 582 00:17:35,282 --> 00:17:37,850 - I know this world - Aly, um, look, I really like you, 583 00:17:37,918 --> 00:17:40,053 - Is killing - and, um... 584 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,888 You, oh look, I know you just broke up with your boyfriend, 585 00:17:41,955 --> 00:17:43,951 - Alison - but... whenever you're ready, 586 00:17:43,977 --> 00:17:46,044 - I'd like to take you on a date. - [mouthing] 587 00:17:46,113 --> 00:17:48,248 A real date, you know, with food, and music... 588 00:17:48,315 --> 00:17:49,749 Bishop, I didn't... 589 00:17:49,817 --> 00:17:52,252 - My aim - I didn't break up with him. 590 00:17:52,319 --> 00:17:54,254 Oh, you've got a husband now. 591 00:17:55,523 --> 00:17:56,990 We didn't break up. 592 00:17:57,580 --> 00:17:59,415 I'm sorry, uh... 593 00:17:59,794 --> 00:18:00,761 Jess said... 594 00:18:01,095 --> 00:18:02,829 There was a miscommunication. 595 00:18:03,931 --> 00:18:05,832 It wasn't really me. 596 00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:07,500 It was high Jess. 597 00:18:07,568 --> 00:18:08,868 I missed high Jess?! 598 00:18:08,936 --> 00:18:10,503 Now I have to wait another ten years? 599 00:18:10,571 --> 00:18:12,005 I can't take it anymore. I just have to say something. 600 00:18:12,072 --> 00:18:13,740 Cece, I'm still in love with you, all right? 601 00:18:13,808 --> 00:18:15,375 Don't marry Schmidt. 602 00:18:15,443 --> 00:18:17,043 That's a big mistake, all right? You run away with me... 603 00:18:17,111 --> 00:18:18,378 - Not now, Robby. - Honestly, stop. 604 00:18:18,446 --> 00:18:20,413 Now's not the time, Robby. Okay, it makes sense, I... 605 00:18:20,481 --> 00:18:22,081 I've been in this apartment before, I'm certain of it. 606 00:18:22,149 --> 00:18:23,550 It was 1972. 607 00:18:23,617 --> 00:18:26,519 Gore Vidal, Linda Lavin, and I were all drunk 608 00:18:26,587 --> 00:18:27,922 on white port and cough syrup... 609 00:18:27,922 --> 00:18:29,255 Guys, quiet, please, 610 00:18:29,322 --> 00:18:30,255 I just... 611 00:18:30,323 --> 00:18:31,256 I need to talk to Bishop 612 00:18:31,324 --> 00:18:32,257 for a second. 613 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:35,335 I'm so sorry about this. 614 00:18:35,995 --> 00:18:38,730 That song was nice. 615 00:18:38,798 --> 00:18:42,401 Um... Aly is actually not short for Alison 616 00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:43,602 but... 617 00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:45,037 it was really good effort. Okay, cool, 618 00:18:45,105 --> 00:18:46,738 yeah, that's... [exhales] 619 00:18:46,806 --> 00:18:48,740 I'm-I'm good. I'm good, um... 620 00:18:48,808 --> 00:18:51,110 Tripp, you know, he's a very lucky guy, 621 00:18:51,177 --> 00:18:52,945 very lucky guy, but I'm fine. Don't worry about me. 622 00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:54,313 I'm just gonna go to my room 623 00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:56,381 and try to shove my face through a heating grate. 624 00:18:56,449 --> 00:18:57,649 [chuckles] 625 00:18:57,717 --> 00:18:59,985 Yeah, Jess, I will deal with you in the morning. 626 00:19:00,053 --> 00:19:02,387 You know what my Grammy always said, 627 00:19:02,455 --> 00:19:04,423 "Why put off for tomorrow-day, 628 00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:08,227 what you could say, nnn... today-day?" 629 00:19:10,096 --> 00:19:11,396 Yeah. 630 00:19:11,464 --> 00:19:13,065 Oh, Aly, um... 631 00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:14,700 Happy Copiversary. 632 00:19:15,734 --> 00:19:17,622 You've been a cop five years today, 633 00:19:17,648 --> 00:19:19,682 and I know how much that means to you, 634 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:20,998 so... 635 00:19:20,998 --> 00:19:24,434 congratulations, I am very proud of you. 636 00:19:24,502 --> 00:19:25,435 Oh, my... 637 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,247 Wait, Winston. 638 00:19:27,273 --> 00:19:30,212 Uh, something told me not to go with copiversary. 639 00:19:30,238 --> 00:19:33,259 My first choice, though, was Police Navidad. 640 00:19:33,347 --> 00:19:35,081 No, I just... 641 00:19:36,277 --> 00:19:37,544 You remembered. 642 00:19:37,612 --> 00:19:38,812 [chuckles] 643 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,547 Well, of course, I remembered. 644 00:19:40,615 --> 00:19:42,349 I mean, I'm your partner, 645 00:19:42,417 --> 00:19:43,350 why wouldn't I re... I mean, I... 646 00:19:57,198 --> 00:19:58,332 Thank you. 647 00:20:00,902 --> 00:20:02,236 [shouting in Russian] 648 00:20:02,303 --> 00:20:03,203 You! 649 00:20:03,271 --> 00:20:04,238 [Jess shouts] 650 00:20:04,305 --> 00:20:05,706 [panicked shouting, screaming] 651 00:20:12,313 --> 00:20:14,448 [gasping] 652 00:20:15,917 --> 00:20:18,419 Welcome to Russian bachelorette party! 653 00:20:18,486 --> 00:20:19,887 Oh, Nadia! Nadia, you look stunning! 654 00:20:19,954 --> 00:20:21,088 Praise Jesus! 655 00:20:21,156 --> 00:20:22,122 Now, dance, now! 656 00:20:22,190 --> 00:20:25,392 ["You Sexy Thing" intro plays] 657 00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:27,294 CECE: Whoa. 658 00:20:27,362 --> 00:20:31,098 [cheering, whooping] 659 00:20:31,166 --> 00:20:32,733 [man singing in Russian] 660 00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:34,935 Dance! You dance now! 661 00:20:36,671 --> 00:20:38,605 All of you, you dance! 662 00:20:41,643 --> 00:20:43,010 I think I'm over Cece. 663 00:20:43,077 --> 00:20:44,178 Who is that? 664 00:20:44,245 --> 00:20:45,312 [meows] 665 00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:47,314 [laughing] 666 00:20:47,382 --> 00:20:48,615 667 00:20:48,683 --> 00:20:52,119 NADIA: I spank you, dirty Nick bastard! 668 00:20:52,187 --> 00:20:54,354 Shut up, monster! 669 00:20:54,422 --> 00:20:55,956 You hear me?! 670 00:20:56,024 --> 00:20:59,460 [laughing, whooping] 671 00:20:59,527 --> 00:21:00,727 Yeah! 672 00:21:03,331 --> 00:21:04,631 Yeah! 673 00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:09,603 This is the happiest I've been in my entire life. 674 00:21:09,671 --> 00:21:11,638 I mean, look at my feet. Can't you see how happy I am? 675 00:21:11,706 --> 00:21:12,806 Okay, you know I still technically 676 00:21:12,874 --> 00:21:14,141 have a boyfriend, right? 677 00:21:14,209 --> 00:21:15,275 Oh, it's cool, I'm married. 678 00:21:15,343 --> 00:21:16,410 What? 679 00:21:16,478 --> 00:21:17,945 Oh, don't worry, it was a prank. 680 00:21:18,012 --> 00:21:19,313 What?! 681 00:21:20,081 --> 00:21:21,014 Best man. 682 00:21:21,082 --> 00:21:22,316 Maid of honor. 683 00:21:23,384 --> 00:21:24,518 [needle buzzing] 684 00:21:24,586 --> 00:21:26,153 Who gets first tattoo? 685 00:21:26,221 --> 00:21:27,321 No, thank you. 686 00:21:27,388 --> 00:21:29,156 I'll take a shamrock on my knuckle. 687 00:21:29,224 --> 00:21:31,609 [Nick screaming] 688 00:21:31,635 --> 00:21:34,945 - synced and corrected by hawken45 - - www.addic7ed.com - 689 00:21:34,995 --> 00:21:39,545 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 45293

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