All language subtitles for New Girl s04e16 Oregon.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,597 --> 00:00:03,450 The guys and I are about to leave for the airport, 2 00:00:03,490 --> 00:00:05,096 and I'm so excited to see you. 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,966 - Is that Ryan? - I can't wait for you to see my hometown. 4 00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:10,136 It's going to be just like An Affair to Remember, 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,736 only instead of the Empire State Building on New Year's Eve, 6 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,906 it's going to be a winery near the Portland airport 7 00:00:14,930 --> 00:00:16,446 at my dad's wedding. 8 00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:19,776 Anyway, I love you, I miss you. 9 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,516 - (Schmidt groans) - Hello? Hello? 10 00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:23,956 Sounds like I lost you for a minute! 11 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:24,986 (chuckles) 12 00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:26,316 Are you there?! 13 00:00:26,340 --> 00:00:28,956 Where's my widdle Eng-wish man? 14 00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:31,596 And with that, Ryan walked into the River Thames 15 00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:33,356 and accepted death. 16 00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:35,596 The joke's on you, 'cause I wasn't even talking to him. 17 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,596 I was leaving a voice mail. 18 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,136 Haven't talked to him for a week. 19 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,666 Are you guys making a group face? 20 00:00:41,690 --> 00:00:42,706 - No, we're not... - No. 21 00:00:42,730 --> 00:00:43,606 - Nah. - Guys, look, 22 00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:45,206 Ryan and I are great. 23 00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:46,776 Really? 'Cause he doesn't call enough. 24 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,306 And when he does, it's in the middle of the night. 25 00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:49,676 Ryan didn't want to move to England, 26 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:50,946 he had to move to England. 27 00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:52,616 For the last couple of weeks, 28 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,710 you've been keeping Nick hours, and... and it's ugly. 29 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,616 Hey. Sorry. 30 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,456 I was talking to Ryan before he went to work 31 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:00,886 and I must have fallen asleep. 32 00:01:00,910 --> 00:01:03,896 Friend to friend, am I wearing pants? 33 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,556 The situation isn't ideal, 34 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:08,826 however, long distance is super romantic. 35 00:01:08,850 --> 00:01:10,896 Plus I don't have to shave my legs every day 36 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:11,966 which is a real plus. 37 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:13,036 You know, Fawn shaves herself 38 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:14,336 from toe to chin. 39 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,866 Every single day. 40 00:01:15,890 --> 00:01:17,876 God, I love my girlfriend. 41 00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:19,806 Hey. Oh, Cece. 42 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,206 CECE: Yeah, what? Huge news. 43 00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:23,306 Jake Apex is coming to the wedding. 44 00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:25,016 Jake Apex? 45 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,476 Who is Jake Apex? 46 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,046 Jake Apex is Cece's high school crush. 47 00:01:28,070 --> 00:01:31,916 Never did anything for me, but turned Cece to soup. 48 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:33,886 - Thanks. - Mm. Yeah. 49 00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:35,226 Is he one of them Portland hippies? 50 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,426 'Cause I hate them Portland hippies. 51 00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:37,426 CECE: He is a legend. 52 00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:38,856 Every time I spoke to him, 53 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,026 I'd have a full-blown tiny kid stroke. 54 00:01:41,050 --> 00:01:42,866 Hey, killer. 55 00:01:42,890 --> 00:01:44,866 I... d... uh... mm... 56 00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:46,336 (sputters) 57 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,936 Yeah, well, I got a bad feeling about this guy. 58 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,036 Why, because he's bomb and Cece wants some? 59 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:52,906 No. Other reasons. 60 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:56,630 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go water my succulents. 61 00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:02,616 How do you know Apex is so cute? 62 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:03,616 I just assumed. 63 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,616 Winston, stop with the look, okay? 64 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,026 Otherwise I will murder you 65 00:02:07,050 --> 00:02:08,726 and clean up your blood with your cat. 66 00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:12,696 All right? For the 50th time, I do not like Schmidt. 67 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,226 Good luck finding my cat. 68 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:16,366 You know, I haven't seen him in weeks. 69 00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:18,366 My best man suit. 70 00:02:18,390 --> 00:02:19,866 Oh. 71 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,406 I'm my dad's best man. 72 00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:23,790 He wanted a boy. My middle name's Christopher. 73 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,830 Yeah. 74 00:02:35,460 --> 00:02:37,467 ?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17? ?www.addic7ed.com? 75 00:02:37,468 --> 00:02:40,756 You're scheming on a thing, that's sabotage 76 00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:44,726 I can't stand it, I know you planned it 77 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,796 I'm-a set it straight, this Watergate... 78 00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:48,326 The Co-Pays are awesome. 79 00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:50,496 I can't believe they're also pharmacists. 80 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,896 I'm-a Buddy Rich when I fly off the handle 81 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,806 What could it be? It's a mirage 82 00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:58,306 You're scheming on a thing, that's sabotage. 83 00:02:58,330 --> 00:02:59,836 MAN: That's really good. 84 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:00,976 (applauding, whooping) 85 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,176 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 86 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,516 This is a nice place. 87 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,346 I mean, it's not the best vineyard in Portland. 88 00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:08,816 - Here we go. - That's Bartleby Cellars, of course. 89 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,286 How would you even know that? 90 00:03:10,310 --> 00:03:12,016 Whenever Coach goes to a new city, 91 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,656 he learns all about it, like a real weirdo. 92 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,186 I was an army brat, all right? 93 00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:18,256 I moved a lot. Assimilating was key. 94 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,156 Oh, and by the way, 95 00:03:19,180 --> 00:03:20,696 calling somebody weird in Portland 96 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,596 is actually a compliment, so thank you, Nick. 97 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,936 Hey, oh. 98 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,366 It's just... Oh. 99 00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:26,966 Sorry, I thought I heard my phone ringing. 100 00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:29,206 Ryan's supposed to call me before he gets on the plane. 101 00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:31,606 - Oh! Sorry. - Jess, just take your phone out. 102 00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:33,276 No, Nick, I want to be here with you guys. 103 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,206 I want to... Sorry. 104 00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:36,276 I just want to... 105 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,276 Sorry. 106 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,876 Does anybody else hear buzzing? 107 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,386 - No. - No, 'cause it's not buzzing. 108 00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:42,486 No, honey, but, you know, he's going to be here soon, okay? 109 00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:43,486 Yeah. 110 00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:45,516 Are you guys still touring the city? 111 00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:47,686 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 112 00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:50,296 I made about 12 drafts of this map. 113 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,726 Couldn't figure out where to go. 114 00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:54,026 Had to fit 18 years into one morning. 115 00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:55,566 So, here it is. 116 00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:57,236 Aw. I'm so excited to show him Portland, 117 00:03:57,260 --> 00:03:59,696 and my mom is so excited to meet him. 118 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,966 And I'm going to show him... 119 00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:03,336 - Jess, it's not buzzing. - It's not buzzing. 120 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,036 - I promise you it's not. - It's not buzzing. 121 00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,906 - Oh, there's my dad. - Hey, guys. 122 00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:08,346 Sounded great. You sounded great. 123 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:10,516 You look terrific, too. 124 00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:11,846 Hey! 125 00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:14,186 - Oh, there's my daughter. - Oh... 126 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:17,256 I thought we talked about you not calling me that. 127 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:18,816 Yeah, yeah. 128 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,356 Hey, how's the food? 129 00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:21,926 I haven't eaten in three weeks. 130 00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:23,556 Trying to fit into my wedding dress. 131 00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,896 (laughs) 132 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,656 Had a dream about a crouton last night. 133 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:27,896 And, um... 134 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,866 And that was the whole dream. 135 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:32,796 Ooh, before I forget, 136 00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:33,866 best man. 137 00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:34,866 (chuckles) Aw. 138 00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:36,006 The wedding rings. 139 00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:38,836 Hey, I want you to meet a bunch of relatives 140 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:40,446 that are all going to be dead in a couple of years. 141 00:04:40,470 --> 00:04:41,876 - Oh, good idea. - Oh. 142 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,246 Hey, what happened to the British guy? 143 00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:44,700 He's coming tomorrow. 144 00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:47,286 MAN: Hey, Jake. 145 00:04:47,310 --> 00:04:49,716 Jake Apex. That's him. That's him right there. 146 00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:51,556 WINSTON: I will say one thing about that man 147 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:54,626 that I've only said about Ryan Gosling... hot damn! 148 00:04:54,650 --> 00:04:55,626 What's up, Winston? 149 00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:56,726 I'm gonna just go... 150 00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:57,726 I'm gonna go talk to him, yeah. 151 00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,456 - WINSTON: You're good. - Yup. 152 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,126 - You're okay. - Gonna... 153 00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:02,966 I didn't know that was a thing. You... 154 00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:04,820 Okay. 155 00:05:08,490 --> 00:05:09,736 (inaudible) 156 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,876 SCHMIDT: Oh, this is very hard to watch. 157 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,276 It's like when Bob Costas 158 00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:14,476 had that eye infection at the O-Lympics. 159 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,106 You mean the Olympics. 160 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:18,070 (Cece laughing hard) 161 00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,470 (whoops) 162 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:24,656 Okay. Oh, God. 163 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,956 Okay, what happened? 164 00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:27,256 Did I look cool? 165 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,256 - Uh... - Define "cool." 166 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:31,156 What happened? I don't know what hap... I blacked out. 167 00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:32,296 Okay, look, Cece... 168 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,396 I'm gonna help you. 169 00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:36,396 I'm Usher, you're Bieber. 170 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,996 And Jake Apex 171 00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:39,236 is all the hot tracks 172 00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:40,436 that we're going to make together. 173 00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:42,566 - Hey. - Hey. 174 00:05:42,590 --> 00:05:46,976 So, um... Ryan's not coming. 175 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,146 Oh, boy. 176 00:05:49,170 --> 00:05:50,446 He has to work on Monday 177 00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:51,846 and he thought, ultimately, 178 00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:53,246 it didn't make sense, which makes sense. 179 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,646 It's not a big deal. 180 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:57,116 But the tour's canceled. 181 00:05:57,140 --> 00:06:00,510 (in Southern accent): Hey, Randy, the tour's canceled. 182 00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:04,326 (in normal voice): I don't know why I did that. 183 00:06:04,350 --> 00:06:05,926 Anyway, go ahead, Nick. Go ahead. 184 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:07,796 Talk about how much this sucks. 185 00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:09,266 Tell me that Ryan's not coming 186 00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:11,166 'cause he's a blank who's a blank. 187 00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:13,036 I do have one thing to say. 188 00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:16,706 While you were away, we were all talking 189 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:19,606 about how much we wanted to go on the tour. 190 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:22,706 So don't cancel it. We'll do it with you! 191 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,316 - Really? - Yeah! 192 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,246 - Yeah! - Yes! 193 00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:26,316 Really? 194 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:27,686 - Yes! - Fired up. 195 00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:29,786 - We haven't stopped talking about... - Yeah, man. 196 00:06:29,810 --> 00:06:30,616 Couldn't be more excited. 197 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,886 All 18 places! 198 00:06:31,910 --> 00:06:33,856 - There's 18? - Wow. 199 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,656 I'm going to add a few more stops, then. 200 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,696 I definitely know you'd enjoy the Shakespeare Garden. 201 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,150 Ha-ha, great. 202 00:06:40,131 --> 00:06:43,126 Guys, Jess says she's fine, but I know she's not. 203 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:44,796 Okay? She needs cheering up. 204 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:45,996 We're in her hometown. 205 00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:47,296 I can't believe Ryan bailed. 206 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,466 I'm not happy with what Ryan's doing. 207 00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:49,966 It's, it's not cool. 208 00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:53,076 But today, it's all sunshine and smiles. 209 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,676 Hey, hey, hey, hey... Let me, let me get sunshine. 210 00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:55,846 Let me get sunshine. 211 00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:57,006 Okay, yeah, you can be sunshine. 212 00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:58,716 Yes! (laughs) 213 00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:00,376 Here she is... Sunshine and smiles! 214 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,486 (all cheering) 215 00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:03,986 - Jess! - WINSTON: Sending the sun in! 216 00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:05,086 Hi. 217 00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:06,356 So... I'm sorry this is so small. 218 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,856 It was just meant for Ryan and me. 219 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:09,856 - No worries. - No problem. - It's great. 220 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:10,856 Your shoes look super-cute. 221 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,596 - You look great. - You look great. 222 00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:14,426 - Let's see if... Ryan... - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 223 00:07:14,450 --> 00:07:17,496 Give me that purse! No more checking in with Ryan. 224 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,836 The tour starts now. 225 00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:21,020 (all cheering) 226 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,036 JESS: And there's the Italian soda shop 227 00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:26,706 where I first learning what a "not" joke was. 228 00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:27,706 Not! 229 00:07:27,730 --> 00:07:29,246 I... I learned it, actually, 230 00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:30,846 in the candle shop, next-door. 231 00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:33,040 People don't really do "not" jokes anymore. 232 00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:36,516 Not! They'll be in forever! 233 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,056 - Right, guys? - Not! 234 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,386 (laughs) 235 00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:40,916 JESS: And there's the dance studio 236 00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,256 where I had my first kiss 237 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,026 with the cutest/only boy in my jazz troupe. 238 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,526 Then he came out of the closet... super gay. 239 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,866 Then we kissed some more. 240 00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:50,726 Then he went to Oberlin. 241 00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:51,736 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 242 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,136 Stop in that store! 243 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,990 I'm going full Portland, people. 244 00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:59,636 I'm so Portland right now, they all staring at me 245 00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:01,546 like, "Is that the president of Portland?" 246 00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:02,646 (laughing) 247 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:04,446 I'm like, "No." 248 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:07,716 This is the very pizza place where we'd dab our pizzas 249 00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:09,586 with our napkins, to get the grease off, 250 00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:12,656 and then we'd make this kid named Joey 251 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,086 eat the napkins. 252 00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:16,326 (laughing) 253 00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:17,996 I'm not gonna lie... (forced laugh) 254 00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:19,780 I'm Joey. 255 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,466 Hmm. 256 00:08:22,490 --> 00:08:23,596 (gasping): Oh, my God. 257 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,896 CECE: Oh, no, he's here. 258 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,266 He's here. He just walked in. 259 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,606 Oh, is he a firefighter? 260 00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:30,966 Seems pretty easy in Portland, huh? 261 00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:32,436 (chuckles) Rain just does the work for you. 262 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:34,436 Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 263 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:36,906 No! Do... do not go and talk to him. 264 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:38,576 Do not go and talk to him. 265 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,616 Cece, not everything's about you, you narcissist. 266 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,746 All right, just... go to the bathroom, 267 00:08:43,770 --> 00:08:45,110 like you said you'd... 268 00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:48,426 And... he's talking to him. 269 00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:50,456 Just don't look. Just don't look. Oh, well, he's looking at you. 270 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,286 - What? What? Really? - No, like, right now, 271 00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:52,426 he's staring at you. 272 00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:53,996 Don't, don't, don't, don't look, don't look. 273 00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:55,796 Don't look. The cutest one's looking right at me. 274 00:08:55,820 --> 00:08:58,536 I don't see a "cute" or "not cute" one, Coach. 275 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:00,836 If you had to choose, which one's the cutest? 276 00:09:00,860 --> 00:09:01,890 Way to the left. 277 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:05,636 (whispering): I'm super nervous. 278 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:06,806 Now my hands are sweating. 279 00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:08,006 Then wipe 'em off. 280 00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,306 If he comes over and shakes your hand, 281 00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:10,476 - you don't want sweaty hands. - Oh, my God! 282 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,116 SCHMIDT: He said he thinks you're cute. 283 00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:14,046 CECE: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 284 00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,286 JESS: Hey, Nick, can I have my phone? 285 00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:17,040 You know what? Never mind. I don't care. 286 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,516 So this is my childhood home, 287 00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:21,986 the place of my birth. 288 00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:23,886 Thank you guys so much for doing this, 289 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:25,456 and coming on this tour with me. 290 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,726 I forgot all about... 291 00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:31,026 (with British accent): Hello, hello, hello, darling! 292 00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:33,836 ("God Save the Queen" playing) 293 00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:36,906 Where's the famous Mr. Geauxinue? 294 00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:38,536 JESS: Um... well... 295 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,406 actually, um, Ryan... 296 00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:42,646 had to cancel last-minute, so he's not coming. 297 00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:44,646 I'm so sorry. 298 00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:47,016 Oh, honey... 299 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,516 that's just awful. 300 00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:50,016 Aw... 301 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,016 Damn men. 302 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,516 Oh, I feel so bad for you. 303 00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:56,526 Hey, Mom... Mom... Oh, honey... 304 00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:58,096 Um... 305 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,096 don't get emotional, okay? 306 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,526 'Cause if you get emotional, I'll get emotional. 307 00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:04,766 Let's talk about happy stuff. 308 00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:06,196 Did you guys see the video of 309 00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:08,036 the panda farting and falling of a branch? 310 00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:09,436 (everyone laughing) 311 00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:10,906 - Pretty crazy, man. - It was funny. It was funny. 312 00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:12,006 WINSTON: It made me laugh. 313 00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:14,436 Who wants scramblies? 314 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:15,606 You know I do, Mom. 315 00:10:15,630 --> 00:10:16,870 (voice breaking): Good. 316 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,600 (crying) 317 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,256 Look, this might not be the right time 318 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,956 to say this, you guys, but, uh, 319 00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:31,796 should we take a straw poll on this whole Cosby thing? 320 00:10:31,820 --> 00:10:33,556 JESS: I just want to clarify 321 00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:36,396 to everyone here that I am fine. 322 00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:37,866 Which is why I'm fine. 323 00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:38,866 - Great! - Yeah. 324 00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:40,466 - Finer than fine. - Mm-hmm. 325 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:42,536 - COACH: Which is why I'm fine. - SCHMIDT: Fantastic! 326 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:43,566 - CECE: I'm fine, too. Everybody's great. - SCHMIDT: Perfect. 327 00:10:43,590 --> 00:10:45,106 (stifled crying) 328 00:10:45,130 --> 00:10:46,776 I'm not fine! 329 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,546 NICK: I can't do this anymore. 330 00:10:48,570 --> 00:10:50,146 It's not all smiles and sunshine. 331 00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:52,116 It's not! 332 00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:54,476 Look, Ryan bailed and that's a dick move. 333 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:55,986 And that's the truth. 334 00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:59,316 (crying): I'm fine, I'm just gonna go to my room. 335 00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:01,786 (crying): I made scones. 336 00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:03,086 (door slams) 337 00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:05,096 Was that sunshine or smiles? Hmm? 338 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,956 (rock music blaring) 339 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:09,066 Oh... 340 00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:10,796 Joanie... (chuckles) 341 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:13,496 I don't want to lie to you, so I'm not... 342 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,290 There's shells all in these eggs. 343 00:11:16,249 --> 00:11:19,476 So, Joan, how do you, uh, feel about Bob getting remarried? 344 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,046 Mm! Oh, I'm fine. 345 00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:22,586 I just feel bad for Ashley. 346 00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:23,956 I mean, let's just say 347 00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:25,616 he's a man with a healthy appetite, 348 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,986 except one thing. 349 00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:29,556 (coughing) 350 00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:30,926 Well, that's a visual. 351 00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:32,596 I don't really have a burning desire 352 00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:34,126 to stick around for the wedding, 353 00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:35,826 so I'm going on a trip 354 00:11:35,850 --> 00:11:38,096 - with some friends. - Hmm! 355 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,936 A trip I've never taken before. 356 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,160 Hmm! 357 00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:47,260 (rock music blaring) 358 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,116 Hey! You mind if I turn this down? 359 00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:54,186 (volume decreases) 360 00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,916 "AP Stat Jams." 361 00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:58,440 Advanced Placement. 362 00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:00,786 Very smart. 363 00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:03,526 How many Lilith Fairs did you go to? 364 00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:05,856 Oh, Method Man performed at that one? 365 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,366 It's Liliths Fair. 366 00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:09,826 Like "passersby..." 367 00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:11,296 or "attorneys general." 368 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,336 Well, look, I came to, uh... give you this. 369 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,306 Text Ryan as much as you want, it's none of my business. 370 00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:19,936 I just think long-distance relationships suck. 371 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,176 I once broke up with a woman who lived in Irvine, 372 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,816 and that's only 30 minutes away. 373 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,186 Mind you, I had hornets living in my car at the time, 374 00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:28,616 which was a factor, 375 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,786 but the commute was also a big part of it. 376 00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:32,186 Well, look, Nick, we're different, 377 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,456 and just because it's difficult with Ryan, 378 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:34,556 doesn't mean we're doomed. 379 00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:36,186 We're star-crossed lovers. 380 00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:38,326 We're like Kate and Leo... 381 00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:41,626 or... Claire and Leo, or... 382 00:12:41,650 --> 00:12:44,496 whatever blonde Leo is taking on boats. 383 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,966 They're all doomed. 384 00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:47,636 Leo ain't gonna settle down... He ain't ready. 385 00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:51,376 I'm a hopeless romantic, and I always have been. 386 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,236 Which is why... 387 00:12:53,260 --> 00:12:55,806 I mean, it's a nice notion, it's just... 388 00:12:55,830 --> 00:12:58,316 from 1994 to 2001, 389 00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,886 I believed that Jordan Catalano 390 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,486 was gonna show up in my driveway 391 00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:03,986 after a dirt bike accident, 392 00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:07,326 all scruffy and... beautiful... 393 00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:10,356 and he would need a bath and some... 394 00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,996 medical attention. 395 00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,896 You think that little boy is driving a dirt bike? 396 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,196 He looks a lot like you. 397 00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:18,196 That's me, that's Jordan Catalano. 398 00:13:18,220 --> 00:13:19,666 I honestly couldn't tell the difference. 399 00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:21,206 I swear to God. I'm not trying to be mean. 400 00:13:21,230 --> 00:13:23,266 You know what the problem with Jordan Catalano is? 401 00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:25,536 Yeah... an undiagnosed learning disability. 402 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,446 Oh, I didn't know the boy had mental problems... 403 00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:28,776 I wouldn't be teasing him, but... 404 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,616 No, it's that he's fake. 405 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,616 The only thing that matters 406 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,910 is if the guy is there for you when you need him. 407 00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:42,126 Otherwise, you're dating a wall. 408 00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:44,356 I have to get to my dad's wedding. I didn't... 409 00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:46,356 I didn't come in here trying to be harsh, I'm ju... 410 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:48,426 I was trying to be helpful and it's not working 411 00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:49,766 and I apologize. 412 00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:52,160 I was coming in as a friend, Je... 413 00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:58,060 I'm sure that's just her. 414 00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:02,906 Well, the dream's dead. 415 00:14:02,930 --> 00:14:04,476 Apparently, Jake Apex has to work, 416 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,376 so he's not gonna come to the wedding. 417 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,046 I'm wearing the craziest underwear for nothing. 418 00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:11,316 Okay, look, Cece, you know what we do? We regroup. 419 00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:12,886 No, it's fine, Schmidt. I'm over it. 420 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:15,286 It is not fine. 421 00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:17,650 Look, Cece, you're the most amazing woman I ever met. 422 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,826 If you want Jake Apex, 423 00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:23,936 I'm gonna help you get Jake Apex. 424 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,590 I'm never gonna stop trying to make you happy, Cece. 425 00:14:28,630 --> 00:14:30,436 I promise you, for the rest of my... 426 00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:31,806 (phone ringing) 427 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,336 Oh, look at that, it's Fawn. 428 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,776 Hello, Councilwoman Moscato. 429 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,806 (quietly): Oh, yeah. 430 00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:38,576 (panting): Guys! 431 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,346 I forgot the rings at the house. 432 00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:42,186 They're in my purse in my room. 433 00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:43,916 And now I have to go get my dad ready. 434 00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:46,256 Apparently, he's wearing some kind of a male corset. 435 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,126 All right, Coach and I will get the rings... 436 00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:49,356 You don't have a car. 437 00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:51,496 All right. Okay. 438 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,196 Wait! 439 00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:54,626 All right. 440 00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:56,266 Let's do this. 441 00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:57,966 (chuckles): Yeah. 442 00:14:57,990 --> 00:14:58,966 Okay. Okay. 443 00:14:58,990 --> 00:15:00,860 - Okay, ready? - Yep, yep. 444 00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:03,306 Go easy. I'm not on! 445 00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:06,506 - You're not?! - I'm not on! I'm not on! 446 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,106 You don't have the rings?! 447 00:15:08,130 --> 00:15:09,546 - Well, Dad, hold on... - You don't have the rings?! 448 00:15:09,570 --> 00:15:11,616 Oh! Damn it, no! That's... 449 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:12,716 No, this is bad. 450 00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,116 We're doomed! 451 00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:15,486 You look beautiful, but we are doomed. 452 00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:16,716 (groans) 453 00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:18,716 Oh, yeah. 454 00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:20,686 (sighs) 455 00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:22,386 I wish these were filled with ground beef. 456 00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:23,726 (ringtone playing) 457 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,626 Oh, wait, this is Nick! Nick's calling! 458 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:27,466 He's probably walking in the door. Here. 459 00:15:27,490 --> 00:15:28,466 Hey. 460 00:15:28,490 --> 00:15:29,496 I found the purse, 461 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,036 but your mom has the rings. 462 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,396 What? (chuckles) 463 00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:33,666 Can you ask her for them? 464 00:15:33,690 --> 00:15:35,806 Yeah, it's a little hard right now. 465 00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:38,636 Remember she said she was going on a trip? 466 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,160 (women laughing, howling) 467 00:15:47,540 --> 00:15:49,146 It's gonna be a hair longer. 468 00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:51,110 It's acid, isn't it? 469 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,246 What is taking them so long? 470 00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:58,686 (laughs): Hi! 471 00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:01,816 Um... so the wedding will begin shortly. 472 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,786 (crowd sighs) But first, 473 00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:06,926 I'm gonna start you off with a crowd-pleasing, 474 00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:09,296 nondenominational... 475 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,426 Something in it for everyone... (chuckles) 476 00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:12,850 "Ave Maria." 477 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:19,190 Ah... 478 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,830 (continues holding note) 479 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,716 Ve... 480 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:30,386 (continues holding note) 481 00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:31,546 Joan, I need you to focus. 482 00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:33,016 I need you to help me 483 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,586 find those rings. (grunts) 484 00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:35,826 We have the rings. 485 00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:37,226 They all... all of you... We all have the rings. 486 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,826 Everyone's got the ring. Come into the womb. 487 00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:41,226 - Come into the womb. - I don't want to come in the womb. 488 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,066 - Come into the womb. - I'm not a womb guy! I'm not a womb guy! 489 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:46,636 Mari... 490 00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:48,966 (continues holding note) 491 00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:50,706 - Show me the rings! - The womb. 492 00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:51,706 WOMEN (chanting): Reverse. Birth. 493 00:16:51,730 --> 00:16:53,376 Can I just see that? 494 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,876 Reverse. Birth. 495 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:56,006 That's not it. 496 00:16:56,030 --> 00:17:00,100 Ah... 497 00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:03,716 Ah... 498 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:05,186 - WOMEN (chanting): Reverse. Birth. - Here we go! 499 00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:06,916 This is a real Portland experience! 500 00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,416 Ah, hippie hair in my mouth! 501 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,656 Hippie hair in my mouth! 502 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,526 (squeaking chatter) 503 00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:14,156 And with that message from Beaker, 504 00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:17,326 all of the Muppets have wished Bob and Ashley 505 00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:19,396 a very happy wedding. 506 00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:20,936 (growling voice): Except for me. 507 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,336 (normal voice): Cookie Monster, is that you? 508 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,366 Now, I understand, Cookie Monster, 509 00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:29,346 you've got a very special song to sing for us. 510 00:17:29,370 --> 00:17:32,546 (growling voice): Yes, I do! 511 00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:35,376 Ah... 512 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,086 Ve... 513 00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:40,456 Mari... 514 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,786 (fire alarm wailing) 515 00:17:42,810 --> 00:17:45,086 There are a lot of ways to stall a wedding, okay? 516 00:17:45,110 --> 00:17:46,256 And you just happened to... 517 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:47,926 Go talk to him. 518 00:17:47,950 --> 00:17:50,650 Yeah. Talk to the guy you like. 519 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,536 Hey, killer. 520 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,076 Hey, so, uh... 521 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:00,406 I'd love to see you again before you leave. 522 00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:02,106 To be honest with you, Cece, 523 00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:04,576 I've always had a crush on you. 524 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,546 Oh, God. 525 00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:09,740 Okay, so I've never said this out loud before, but... 526 00:18:11,770 --> 00:18:14,956 I'm... 527 00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:16,926 in love with someone else. 528 00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:19,226 It's kind of complicated because he has a girlfriend, 529 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:20,926 so I can't tell anybody. 530 00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:23,396 I mean, Winston knows, but you, you don't know Winston. 531 00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,596 I got to get back to the truck soon. 532 00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:27,096 Power steering's out again. 533 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,966 I'm the only one strong enough to drive it. 534 00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,306 - Of course. - But, uh, 535 00:18:30,330 --> 00:18:31,906 I guess I'll see you around. 536 00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:33,330 Yeah, I guess. 537 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,246 (bicycle bell dings) 538 00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:38,506 - Okay, okay. - Got it. 539 00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:40,246 Oh, my God! Thank God you guys are here! 540 00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:41,516 Is my mom okay? (both panting) 541 00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:43,086 It's actually really hard 542 00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:44,846 riding one of these bikes; it's super tiring. 543 00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:46,486 I don't have a watch on. 544 00:18:46,510 --> 00:18:48,380 I don't know why I'm doing that. 545 00:18:49,450 --> 00:18:51,426 Dad, I... 546 00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:53,850 (Bob humming music) 547 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,806 (continues humming) 548 00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:05,266 Aren't they cute? 549 00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:06,730 Cute as a mute. 550 00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:09,276 That's a thing. 551 00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,476 People-people say that. 552 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,176 (sighs) 553 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,346 Love is never what you think it's gonna be, is it? 554 00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:18,446 No, it isn't. 555 00:19:18,470 --> 00:19:21,656 Hey, Nick... 556 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,056 you were right. 557 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,126 He should've been here. 558 00:19:27,150 --> 00:19:29,996 I need a guy who shows up. 559 00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:33,520 'Cause anything else just isn't real. 560 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,736 Jess, you should, uh, know something, too. 561 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:38,836 I touched 562 00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:40,076 both your mother's breasts 563 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:43,846 in a communal womb earlier today. 564 00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:46,476 I didn't do it on purpose, but there it is. 565 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,216 Thanks for telling me. I appreciate it. 566 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,146 It's a relief to get it off my shoulders. 567 00:19:50,170 --> 00:19:51,246 Thanks for being cool about it. 568 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,416 I'll leave you alone. 569 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,186 (continues humming) 570 00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:56,180 Wait, what? 571 00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:00,196 I didn't read about this place. 572 00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:03,196 That's because it's not in any guidebook, Tagliaboo. 573 00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,566 It is called Crush Pond. 574 00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:07,096 At least that's what Jess and I used to call it. 575 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,736 We used to come down here when she liked somebody. 576 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,189 We'd throw a rock in the pond, 577 00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:11,720 and we'd wish that they liked her back. 578 00:20:11,730 --> 00:20:13,360 - Huh. - I'd sit over there 579 00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:14,810 and smoke cloves while she did that. 580 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,770 I broke up with Ryan. 581 00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:23,240 - Wow. - Oh, babe, I'm sorry. 582 00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:25,640 How'd he take it? 583 00:20:25,650 --> 00:20:27,810 Actually, pretty good. 584 00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:29,650 - So you got his voice mail. - Yeah. 585 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:30,730 Sounds about right. 586 00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:34,730 Last stop on the tour. 587 00:20:34,740 --> 00:20:37,770 Um... it's Crush Pond. 588 00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:40,770 So... say a name in your head 589 00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:43,880 and throw the rock in the pond, 590 00:20:43,890 --> 00:20:47,210 and they'll love you forever. 591 00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:49,750 Um, and for the record, that's actually never worked. 592 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,690 (laughs) 593 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,360 So we're gonna do it anyways? 594 00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:54,860 JESS: Yeah. 595 00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:57,300 We're really gonna do this? 596 00:20:57,310 --> 00:20:58,930 I got a big one. 597 00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:00,770 (singsongy): I know who your rock is for. 598 00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:01,910 Winston, you better shut up 599 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,749 before I knock that fade right off your head. 600 00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:06,320 (chuckles): You don't know me like that, Cece. I swear... 601 00:21:06,330 --> 00:21:08,220 - Oh, I know you like that, trust me. - Swear to God... 602 00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:09,868 Uh, I'm gonna say Detroit Pistons. 603 00:21:09,887 --> 00:21:11,167 You're not getting it, man. 604 00:21:11,185 --> 00:21:12,286 What-what is it? 605 00:21:12,310 --> 00:21:14,202 You got to say, like, a lady's name. 606 00:21:14,221 --> 00:21:14,992 Oh. 607 00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:18,564 Gladys. 608 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,112 - A lady you know. - Oh. 609 00:21:20,136 --> 00:21:23,402 To whoever you are, can't wait to meet you. 610 00:21:23,905 --> 00:21:26,131 And I hope you live close by. 611 00:21:26,155 --> 00:21:28,784 Three, two, one. 612 00:21:28,785 --> 00:21:30,249 ?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17? ?www.addic7ed.com? 613 00:21:30,299 --> 00:21:34,849 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42721

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.