Original subtitles

Previously on "Neon Joe, Werewolf He-yump"...

He's my Elon Musk-type associate.

Moon is alive.

Yeah, we hear you. Moon is alive.

You stole my ex-wife and left her for dead!

Joe, don't leave me!

Joe, you're under arrest for the murder of Plaid Jeff.

Joe.

I got a bad feeling about this.

Don't you worry about nothin', Cleve, all right?

Joe all cool as a cucumber.

Matter of fact,

this the only evidence I need to win the case.

All rise for

the Honorable Judge Kelly Wong.

So, has the jury reached a verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

We find Neon Joe...

...guilty... - No!!

...of first-degree murder.

Very well.

The court hereby...

I'd like to make an offer.

The court recognizes

Elon Musk-type, billionaire inventor,

Vance Dontay.

Your Honor, if it please the court...

...I'd like to house Neon Joe, for free,

in my private maximum-security prison,

"Foursome Country."

Deal.

No!

No!!

Noooooo!!

No!!

The world of lycanthropic justicide

bid farewell to a legend today

as Plaid Jeff's murderer, Neon Joe,

was sentenced to life in prison.

You in Foursome Country now!

Ooh, fresh meat walkin'!

Hey.

So, uh, welcome.

I'm... I'm... I'm Terry, by the way.

That's a cool eye patch.

What happened?

What are you lookin' for? A tunnel.

Or the beginnin' of a tunnel

so I can escape, clear my name.

There are no tunnels in here.

But, uh, I could show you around the prison.

Maybe we find one.

There's no tunnels in there.

This is our wheelchair factory, very popular.

Hey, Bobby.

Hey, I got a new cell mate.

Yeah, so, no tunnels in there, either...

uh, definitely.

Hey, Gar, who's it goin'? I got a new cell mate.

Oh! Country-music star, Joshy Cashington,

is gonna be playin' one song here tonight.

Well, I've always wanted to see the man

who prefers to be exclusively clad

in midnight blue.

Oh, and tomorrow night is the big costume ball

at the lady prison down the river.

Hey, uh, why does it say "head nod" in parenthetical?

Oh, yeah.

The sign was confusing.

Yeah, we thought there was something wrong with the guy's neck,

so they put "head nod" in parentheses

to clarify that he wasn't hurt.

He's just noddin' his head

toward the lady prison down the river.

The Mexicans wanted to go in black face,

and the blacks wanted to go in Mexican face,

till everyone realized it was Big Lair's plan

to start a race war.

Who Big Lair?

That's him, with his Nazi, skinhead, doo-wop group,

White-Acca-Power.

They run the cafe's open-mic night.

Ah-bow, ah-bow, ah-bow-bow-bow-bow...

Jews run the media, Jews run the banks

Let's kill 'em all and blame it on the blacks

We gotta bring those doo-a-dang-alang

Diddy-wop-do-wop Jews to their knees

Je-e-e-ws to their knees

Whoo, ooh, ooh, ooh

Jews to their

Whoo

Knees

Big Larry might be the devil,

but he got the voice of an angel.

You got to call him "Big Lair."

Last guy to call him Big Larry was never heard from again.

Are you eyeballin' me, new meat?

No.

Just wonderin' why an Aryan named "Larry"

would call himself "Big Lair" and not "Big Larryan."

Missed opportunity for a super-cool pun.

I could kill you right now.

Don't do it, Big Lair.

You kill him, then no dance

at the ladies prison down the river,

and you don't get your jollies.

Think about your jollies, Big Lair.

Yeah.

Neon Joe, you got a visitor.

Seem like this conversation is to be... be...

a-be-bah-be-di-bop, boo-da-la-bah,

a-be-da-bah-dah-boo-dah,

shamma-lamma-continued.

Don't worry about Oahu Joe's.

I'm taking good care of her.

Oh, hey, do know

that Yuri used to be an actual cosmonaut?

Yeah, he keeps askin' somethin' about, like,

where you keep the hearts

of the werewolves you killed?

Weird.

Yuri's so funny.

He was over there the other day,

and he had a napkin on his head.

We started putting napkins on our heads too.

What the hell?

What are you, moon, huh?

Oh?

Oh, coming!

Hey!

I've been lookin' all over for you.

Joshy Cashington's about to play his one song.

Oh, well, let's go hear it.

You boys ready to hear one song?

Yeah!

I hate to add to y'all's misery, but, uh...

it seems that my bass player,

he done gone and broke his arm.

Tommy? Get on out here, Tommy!

Now, who did this to you, Tommy?

It wasn't me, right?

Right?!

So, unless one of y'all can come up here,

take Tommy's place,

I'm afraid I can't play for y'all today.

Oh, my goodness. Well, hey.

This here ain't no ordinary bass, men.

This here is the long bass.

Yeah!

All right.

It seems that we got two confident souls

think that they can play the long bass.

Let's see, now.

How about you with the eye patch?

Yeah, I like a man with a gimmick.

You come on up here. Let's hear it.

If you're as good as you think you are,

you should have no trouble keepin' up.

One, two, three, he'yow!

Ho!

That's my cell mate!

No waitin' till after the dance.

I kill him tonight.

You can't do that, Big Lair.

He's a white man like us.

Shame he ain't one of them white Jews.

Then it'd be all right.

That's it.

Convince him to convert,

and then I get my jollies all over that Jew.

Whoo! That's right!

Let's hear it! All right!

Wow!

What'd you say your name was?

Neon Joe.

Well, Joe, you just did me a solid.

Now, you let me know

if ever I can return that favor.

Well, he-yump.

Now, one more hand for Neon Joe,

the most musically-talented inmate

in all of Foursome County Prison.

Aah!

What goin' on he-yump.

Well, um, see, uh,

me and the boys were, uh, wondering...

well, hoping...

Will you help us learn the long bass?

Oh-ho!

Yeah, we put some 2x4s together and some laces

and, uh, made one.

Well, look at that.

We got off on the wrong foot.

I'd like to apologize.

I brought you my favorite book from the prison library

as a peace offering.

Your favorite book, the Torah?

Marked a couple passages that resonated with me, so...

Yeah, when I reach for scripture,

I-I go for the "Book o' Joe," psalm 69.

This is the word of God,

as told to Moses, retold,

passed down from generation to generation

for 5,000 years.

You know, it sound to me like

you tryin' to get me to convert to Judaism

so you can murder me for being a Hebrew.

Why don't you make your covenant with God

and find out?

Hey, Neon Joe.

You got a visitor.

That probably my friend Cleve.

Shalom-ya-later.

Don't think about it.

Like, when I do the long bass, it's just a thing.

Like, be-boo-be-doo, diddle-loo-do, right?

Long bass ain't for everybody.

What you doin' here?

I know you didn't kill Plaid Jeff.

Did you know that the land this prison was built on

used to be an old pretzel factory?

The very factory where you left your ex-wife to die.

In fact, your cell sits atop

the exact 6-foot-by-8-foot plot

where she perished.

Don't leave me! Aah!

How could you possibly know that?

I know many things, Neon Joe.

What's your plan, Stan?

What you schemin', demon?

Why you keep tappin' that box, Goldilocks?

Oh, just... planting seeds is all.

I want you to spend the rest of your life

haunted by the memory

of the night you abandoned your ex-wife

in her greatest hour of need.

My ex-wife and I had a deal!

- What goin' on he-yump?! - Inmate!

Sit back from the Elon Musk-type owner of this prison!

Enjoy the rest of your life.

I ain't go...

I'm not go... oh, God, wh... yem... uh, leave you.

Ahh!

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Yuh! Guh!

Don't... don't leave me! Aah!!

We had a deal. We had a deal.

Help me!

I gotta go.

Aah!

Aah! Aaaaaahhhh!

It's just a bad dream.

Bad dream?

Or bad memory?

You're the wolf that killed my dead ex-wife.

You lucky you dead, or I'd kill you again.

I didn't kill your ex-wife.

Your ex-wife killed me.

My dead ex-wife killed you?

She's not your dead ex-wife.

She's your alive ex-wife.

My ex-wife ain't dead?

Then, she ain't my ex-wife.

She's still my wife.

There's only one way out.

Which is?

I'm not telling you, wolf hunter.

Looks like you'll spend the rest of your life

haunted by the memory

of the night you abandoned your ex-wife.

Haunted by the memory

of the night you abandoned your ex-wife.

Planting seeds...

Legend has it,

werewolf need his heart to get to the other side.

You help me bust out of here,

I'll get you the eternal rest you crave.

Good night, Yuri.

Good night, Cleve.

I like Ashley's new tattoo.

Yeah, she clearly wanted tattoos like Neon Joe

because she's so into him.

Anyways, thanks for helpin' out around here.

All right, bye.

Where are those werewolf hearts?

Hey.

Mm.

Think, Yuri!

Maybe Joe hid hearts...

behind dusty, old decoys.

Werewolf heart.

Ha-ha-ha, the decoys are decoys!

What's that, Big Lair?

It's a kippah,

or in Yiddish, "yarmulke."

So, Neon Joe puts a yarmulke on his head,

cuts himself, and then bleeds to death.

He ain't wearin' it.

I am.

When I see Neon Joe,

I'm gonna use it to slit his throat.

L'hitra'ot.

That's "see you later" in Hebrew.

How do I look?

Terry, is dat you?

Uh-huh.

I fear that I have

succumbed to the prison flu.

I won't be able to partake

in the big dance down the river.

Ah.

Oh, hey, Big Lair.

Have fun at the dance. I'm sick.

See?

When I get back,

you're a dead man, boychik.

Have fun at the dance, Terry.

I'm gonna miss you.

Hey, uh, Jake!

Why don't you stop slappin' them cards,

get on down here, slap this long bass?

I'd love to, Neon Joe,

but I don't want to get into any trouble.

You the only guard on duty!

Ain't nobody gonna know!

And I bet you didn't think about none of that

long tush you gonna get

when you slappin' this long bass.

Am I right?

You know what?

I hadn't.

Oh-ho, yeah!

Well, then, why don't you, uh, get on down here?

Let's play some bass, man!

Can't wait to taste some of that long tush.

I'll tell you that.

All right, so, which way that sewer?

This way or this way?

It's this way. Let's do it.

I knew you were faking.

What are you, some kind of Hebrew for Hitler now?

I'm an Ashke-Nazi.

Pretty good pun.

Don't make up for droppin' the ball on Big Larryan,

but, uh, yeah, that was pretty good.

The more I studied the Torah,

the more I knew that the Jews are the chosen people,

and it's the non-Jews who should all die.

And now I'm gonna send you to Hell!

But the Jews don't believe in the afterlife.

Talmudic Rabbis have long argued

about what happens to us,

but they all agree

that it's what we do here that's most important!

Yeah?

Well, how did the Torah feel about a Jew killin' a Jew?

It's against it!

Then, you better drop that kippah,

'cause I too have converted to Judaism.

You're a liar.

Allow me to show you

my covenant with God.

Wow.

I've never seen a more perfect cut.

Choke on it.

Ohh, I'chaim!

Oh, he-yump.

He-yump. He-yump.

When did you have time to convert? I didn't.

A werewolf did that.

Now let's get the he-yump outta here.

It's a long-bass injury!

We got a prison break!

Seems like you makin' me go this way on purpose.

I did.

It's right up here.

Is it close?

About 500 yards.

I'm gonna he-yump.

Just follow the stink.

He-yow!

Joshy.

"Taking a sick day.

Be back soon. Yuri."

Looks like I'm workin' twice as hard today.

Hey.

Where did the ducks go?

I've never seen Big Lair look so peaceful.

Must have found solace right before he died.

Mm.

I'll oy what he's veying.

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