All language subtitles for Monarch Of The Glen s03e10.eng

And...

fetch!

( dog barks )

I'll explain it
once more.

Now when I throw the ball-
see, made of rubber, round-

that's the ball.
When I throw it over there

you run after it, pick it up,
bring it back to me.

All right?
Quite simple.

And...

fetch.

You see, fetching
is what dogs do.

It's a service performed
by canus familiaris,

that's latin for "dog. "
It's what you do-

you've always done since all
of us lived in caves together.

It's quite simple. Don't
think about it, just do it.

Do it.

( dog whimpers )

And... fetch.

- I can see you're going to be trouble.
- ( whimpers )

( theme music playing )

( coughing )

( tires squeal )

I think we should
tell them. don't you?

No, the moment is
just us, you know?

Doesn't belong
to anyone else.

I like that.

Yeah, but I want
the whole world to know.

How do you think
they'll take it?

They'll be thrilled to
bits. How could they not be?

Okay.

Let's do it.

( Hector, garbled )
... now also like that

and you drop it.

All right,
did you get that?

- Hector, come inside.
- ( dog whimpers )

Archie's got some sort
of announcement to make.

( mumbling )
In a minute.

( continues to mumble )

...like that.

Well, I solved the problem
of what to call you.

Come on then, "Useless. "

( whimpers and barks )

I hope this is not
going to take too long.

I've got a map to pick
up from the library.

I give a talk
to the golf club ladies

on a new approach
to sand wedge design.

And I am going
fishing with "Useless. "

I've got something to do as
well. It's quite important.

Well, shouldn't take
too long, should it?

To say just seven words.

- Eight.
- What?

- Archie: the thing is-
- ( honking )

No, it can't be.
It is.

- Hector, it's Joe.
- Hector: Hell.

Will you excuse me?
There's something

more interesting
happening outside.

"Lexie and I are
going to get married. "

You're right,
it is eight words.

Joe!

Joe!

My lovely,
lovely Joe!

Sweet,
sweet sister.

It's wonderful to see you. I
can't believe it. Can you, Hector?

- Unbelievable.
- Hello, "what the heck"?

Still got the jerk in
the casting arm, have we?

- Who is it?
- My uncle Jolyon.

Fresh from the hills of East
Africa by the looks of it.

Molly: What are you doing here?
You haven't been back in years.

- No, decades.
- Come to see you, what else?

Can't be-
Archibald.

Uncle Joe,
welcome.

You've come
at a very good time.

I'd like you to meet-

could you be careful
of those, young lad?

Let me take that
for you.

Thank you.

Very interesting uniforms
your staff wear these days.

( clucking )

My butler
was Moses Elijah.

He nursed me when
I had "Onjamin Tummy. "

Protected me
from rogue merchants

and rogue elephants.

No thanks, I'm not hungry. But Hector,

- ( crystal rings )
- I'm a bit thirsty.

You always were, Jolyon.
That is my recollection of you.

Speaking
of servants, Molly,

why is it that your staff

appears to be taking
lunch with us?

Joe, they're our friends.

This is Golly, Duncan,
and Lexie.

How extraordinary.

- Are you staying long?
- Hector?

I don't like to think of his plantation
going to wrack and ruin in his absence.

They're about as big
as Luxembourg, are they?

It's Denmark, actually.

A chap should come home and
see his loved ones quite often.

I can give Archie
a bit of help,

seeing as you've been
put out to grass.

Thank you very much.

How pleasant to be in the
capacious bosom of one's family.

I've actually got
a toast myself...

concerning...

the capacious whatsit
of one's family.

Lexie and I
are going to be married.

Here's my engagement ring
to prove it.

Isn't this where
you're all supposed to say-

"congratulations, hope
you'll both be very happy"?

Er...

you're joking,
aren't you?

Darlings, darlings,
this is-

what, son and heir
marrying the housemaid?

Please, Lexie is
my fianc�e.

And a very good friend
of everyone here.

Well, father?

Archie, Lexie,
this is a grave mistake.

I fear it can only
end in tears.

Well, thanks. Thanks
very much, all of you.

Can I just say,
you can stuff your lunch?

I'll just go back
to the kitchen where I belong.

It was a disaster.

- Come on.
- Your uncle thought it was preposterous.

Your dad thought it was
an affront to his lineage.

- Just you leave them to me.
- Duncan thought it was a joke.

And Golly was silent
even by his standards.

Oh god,
even your mum.

The only thing that
matters is how we feel.

What people think
isn't important.

Really?
You're family.

The only real family
that I've ever had.

Our friends?
I don't think so.

( sobs )

- Hector, I'm appalled-
- so am I.

At your behavior. What on
earth were you thinking of?

- Our boy and Lexie too.
- Fiddlesticks! you've got the manners of a warthog,

and the sensitivity
of Arthur's seat.

I sometimes wonder what possessed me to
hitch my wagon to your broken old train.

I refuse to be insulted
in my house.

Would you rather be insulted
in someone else's house?

- That could be arranged.
- I'm going fishing.

- Joe: What a capital idea.
- Come on, Useless.

Coming.

Not you!
Oh, forget it.

( barking )

I think...
this is yours.

Thanks, I would have been
grieved to lose the blighter.

I shot him up
at Murchison Falls.

I was standing behind
a baobab tree-

have you any idea
of the grief I'm going to get

when this gets round
to headquarters, you maniac?

Look, dogberry,
is it?

Don't take that
high-handed tone with me.

You've asked for it.

You're coming down
to the station with me.

Can I? a word
in your ear?

This chap is Molly's
brother, Jolyon.

He's been in Africa
about 40 years.

Rich as Croesus,
but not used to our ways.

Unlike you,
Mr. MacDonald.

( chuckles )

He's a bit of a dinosaur
but quite harmless.

I can vouch for his
behavior, is that all right?

Fair enough.

Joe: I would often pop over
to Uganda and fish the Nile.

Sometimes the perch,
they get up to 90 pounds.

Wow!

Afternoon, giving your trout
a fit of the giggles?

They'll be laughing so much
at your casting you'll be

able to pick them out of the
water with a pair of tweezers.

Cats and puddles,
Kilwillie.

We'll see how your jibes
sound at the end of the day.

What's he doing
lurking around my loch?

What specimen
of muddy puddle

- do we have here, Hector?
- Pretty tame stuff.

Compared with what
you're used to, Mr. Joe.

What do you know
about it, Duncan?

You couldn't catch raindrops
with an upturned umbrella.

The beasts in this loch
aren't like those

bloated things that flop
into your nets in the tropics.

They're packed with muscle and sinew,
and sheer scots bloodymindedness.

Finest water for brown
trout in the British Isles.

And it's all mine.

Let battle commence.

I've been thinking.

So have I,
about patricide.

I know.

I could
kill them, too.

But all that's
a waste of time.

We just have to do
what's right for us.

I meant what I said.

If people here can't accept
that we love each other

and we want to get married, then we'll
just have to do it somewhere else.

Run away, you mean?
Gretna Green or something?

I know it's not
what we planned-

the church on the hill,
the fairy tale castle.

No, but you're right.

That's just
a lot of fluff.

We could get married
on the bridge

and I wouldn't care
as long as we're together.

Right.
Let's show 'em, then.

( Duncan sings )

( Duncan whistles )

Duncan, please.

This is fun. we'll soon
be needing a flashlight

to see all the fish
we're not catching.

( laughs )

Duncan, would you be so kind
as to pack up the gear?

I apologize for the paucity
of this evening's sport.

That's all right,
old son.

I've enjoyed it in a funny sort of way.

I can't understand it.
This loch was teaming

with trout of the most
remarkable quality.

Sorry, what the heck,
I think she's fished out.

Come on, Useless.

( whimpers )

I said, come on.

Uggh!

Give me that a minute.
Will you, Golly?

( grunting )

There, that's better.

You hang on
in there, laddie.

I'd like to wish the pair of
you all the luck in the world.

Thank you.

Did you get that map?

Yep.

It's there, Archie.

It's there

by the old sawmill.

I knew it.

Get everything we need.
We'll start in the morning.

Give the bride a surprise.

Recording:
�... I shout it �

� from the highest hills... �

what are you
doing, Duncan?

Hi, Mr. Joe.

Molly told me
to put your stuff in here.

Check this out,

the music scene must have
been rubbish in the '70s.

1961, it was before
you were born.

I was a heartless lout.

I haven't heard
this in years.

This was my Mary's
favorite record.

This is fantastic.
Did you...

bag that yourself?

For 30 years, I shot
everything that moved.

Everything from water
buffalo to sacred ibis.

Yeah.

Do you know, young man,

its a beautiful paradox
that the closer

one moves toward death,

the more one sees
the preciousness of life.

Last animal I shot
was a leopard.

When I saw him
crumpled on the ground,

I felt a great sense
of grief and shame.

I haven't picked up
a rifle since.

Don't be sad, Mr. Joe.

No. well, just
for a little while, eh?

- ( knocking )
- Molly: Lexie?

Are you there? I've got
something that might interest you.

I'll just put it
under the door.

Leave you to it.
Night, night.

Full of handy hints
for the perfect wedding.

I won't say that I know
you'll be very happy

because nowadays it's said
more in hope than expectation.

But you and Archie
are different.

I know that you'll
give each other joy.

I'm very happy to have
you as my daughter-in-law.

I'd have said the same to
Archie but I can't find him.

What's gonna happen?

It'll blow over.
Usually does.

Hector'll come home happy with
a satchel full of dead fish

and bless your union.
Oh, Lexie.

By the way,
there's a lovely pattern

for a going-away dress,
page 83.

Father, I want
a word with you.

Must you?

I want an explanation for
your behavior this morning.

- I'm sorry, I'm tired...
- now.

- And upset.
- you're upset?

How do you think Lexie and I feel?
what Jolyon said was bad enough.

You won't be
criticizing him?

You stand in line to inherit
a fortune from that old devil.

I don't give a monkey's about
inheritances from you, from Jolyon,

from the queen of sheba. All
I care about now is Lexie.

You made her cry,
do you know that?

I am truly sorry for that. But I
had good reasons for what I said.

- Such as?
- I can't answer that.

They involve another person
and must remain private.

That's not good enough.
Do you hear me?

Archie don't shout,
good fellow.

Lexie and I are going to be
married, whether you like it or not.

- Do you understand?
- Archi-?

( softly )
Hell-!

That was quite
a bombshell we heard today.

Terrible. tragic.

- You think so?
- Aye, like Hector says-

- you agree with Hector?
- Aye.

That loch had some of the
best fishing in the highlands.

I'm talking about
Archie and Lexie.

Oh!

So, what do you think?

You were quite sweet
on Lexie yourself.

- Me?
- aye.

No, you've got the wrong end
of the stick there, Golly.

I mean,
she's all right.

But I never really
fancied her.

Not physically,
anyway.

You slippery, slimy

belly-wriggling worm.

Hi, Lexie,
all right?

- Don't smile, son.
- Just dandy, Dunc.

All the better for hearing
the pearls of your wisdom.

Oh that,
just my little joke.

Lucky for you that
I can take one then, eh?

See, I come down here
to chill out with my mates,

tell them about
my exciting new plans.

And what did I get?

The second betrayal
of the day.

- Listen, Lexie- - I'm not
talking to you just now.

I'm dealing with the organ
grinder's monkey here.

You and me are finished.

Golly,
this won't do at all.

We stood on that bank
for four hours

without the slightest
intimation of a trout.

- That's what Duncan said.
- I can only conclude

- your defenses were breached.
- How do you mean?

It's obvious. Poachers have
come in and hoovered up the lot.

Don't you think your highly
experienced ghillie would have noticed?

What else
could it be?

I wouldn't want you
to take this amiss,

but maybe the fault
is not with the fish...

- but with the fisherman.
- I see.

I know you have a poor
opinion of my prowess.

It cuts me deep,

but it's only one of many
crosses I have to bear.

I only hope
that in the future,

you and others will
not judge me so harshly.

I can't come
with you, Hector.

Archie's got me
in a three-line whip.

Take this. If there
are fish in that loch,

and I'm damned sure there are,
then you'll catch them with that.

As Duncan says,
"it'll be as easy

as pulling at a 'grab a granny
night' in a disco in Wyck. "

I'm baffled
by the allusion,

but I thank you,
all the same.

Of course, I'm sad
not to be there,

but you must do
what's right for you.

So something quiet,

something not too far away...

and maybe something
by the sea

so we can hear the waves
breaking on the shore.

- Such a romantic!
- And you're not?

Not an easy thing when
you're married to Hector.

Didn't even
have a honeymoon.

To be fair, he planned one but
then there was a crisis here.

Typical.

We were going
to have one later,

but it was overtaken by a crisis
of quite a different order.

- Oh?
- There!

What do you
think of that?

That is fantastic.

- Oh, look!
- ( both sigh )

We can start
down there.

Fine. how'd you get on last
night with the old fella?

Don't ask, I've had enough.
I washed my hands of him.

You think it's gonna be as
easy as that? He's your father.

Let's get going, shall we?
Have you got everything we need?

( sighs )

( yawning )

( ducks quacking )

( quacking )

( duck squawks )

Pike!

Kilwillie.

Hector, old boy.

( honking )

My dear fellow,

I've just heard the news about
the forthcoming nuptials.

My heartiest
congratulations.

- Snake in the grass!
- What?

I have come across
some slippery,

malevolent creatures
in my time, Kilwillie,

but you are the Madagascan puff
adder to top the lot of 'em.

I haven't the faintest idea
what you're banging on about.

You couldn't bear it that I had
a better fishing ground than you,

so you destroyed it with the
nauseous touch of casual cruelty.

What fishing ground? You're not talking
about the loch of the two waters?

You put a pike in there.
A monster ate all my trout.

I did not
do this thing.

I swear to you on Badger's
life. He's big, you say?

Enormous, probably the biggest
pike in the British Isles.

The biggest pike in the
history of, well... pike!

- Really?
- Yes.

Well, well.

Yes, well...

I've got an important
appointment.

- Me too.
- Perhaps another time.

- Yes... yes.
- ( car engine starting )

Duncan: Lexie!

- Duncan?!
- Open the window!

What are you playing at?

About last night,

I knew if I
tackled you downstairs

you wouldn't talk to me.

This way,
you can't avoid it.

You can't have my death
on your conscience, can you?

Come away in,
you bampot.

About what I said
last night,

I never meant it.

I've always fancied you.

You're the most
beautiful, funniest,

most specialest girl
I've ever known.

Duncan...

I know you're fond of me

but I'm glad it's Archie.

But if he doesn't
cherish you like you deserve,

I'll stick him in butter
and fry him like a fish supper.

Aahh!

Duncan! It's fine, I've got you.

Are you okay?

This is the closest
we've ever been.

Come here, you
crispy cod fella.

- Oh Hector!
- Push off, you're trespassing.

Come on, I'm only
here to help.

I don't need any help,
thank you very much.

I've got the right rod,
look at that.

That isn't a rod. This
is a rod. ( laughs )

I won't tell you
again, Kilwillie.

Get off my land.

It's only a bit
of fun.

Quite the opposite.
This is deadly serious.

I want this beast. By
jingo, I'm going to get him.

Oh, oh, aah!

Oh-!

My dear chap!

Are you all right,
my dear old fellow?

Did you witness
that unprovoked aggression?

The enemy just sent his tanks
trundling over the Polish border.

I'm going
to need an ally.

Maybe you could
be the page boy?

( both snicker )

- What's up, Mr. Joe?
- It's no use.

Neither am I.

Here, let me
give you a hand.

You need some food
inside you.

I'm not hungry.
I'm going to the pub.

Only I can't,
'cause I'm barred.

( chuckles )

Hello, princess.

- I'm not talking to you.
- Take no notice of me.

Who am I to pontificate
about anyone,

the mess I'm in?

Sit down. let me
take a look at you.

It's nothing,
just a measly scratch.

Sit down before
I give you a real bad turn.

Now, who did
this to you?

A large man,
in a loud checked shirt

of indifferent quality.

Beast McLauren
- he's terrible when he's got a drink in him.

Why are you picking
a fight with him?

He impugned the name
of a lady.

Called her a stupid, old-
I can't even say it.

Someone very dear
to me once.

Must be a day
for love, eh?

What was her name?

Mary Mclntyre.

I've lost her now.

( whispers )
Mary Mclntyre...?

Maybe not for too long. Duncan,
go and get the phone book.

Ow!

I've looked up
the British record for pike.

The biggest one 54 pounds
- a mere tiddling compared to ours.

I suppose we're sure
it really is a fish.

What do you think pulled me into the
water, a missing soviet submarine?

Come on,
any bright ideas?

I'm directing every particle
of brainpower at the problem.

Mmm. very reassuring.

How do you catch
a pike this big?

It's too much for my
giant iron snap tackle.

- Hmph.
- What is all this stuff?

It's Jolyon's rubbish
he brought back from Africa.

- Oh.
- Good lord.

I say,
very smart.

Yes, careful.

Well done!
Double top!

Ah!

Ah...!

Everything all right,
Monsieur Cousteau?

If I see any suspicious-looking
fins, I'll go like this-

� dum-dum, dum-dum
dum-dum... �

oh, Useless, Useless!

( barking )

Useless!

Archie? Archie?

Come on, son,
it's getting late.

We'll try again
tomorrow.

Description in the family
history might be a bit hazy

but the geological
survey wasn't.

- Right here, it said.
- We'll find it, don't worry.

- Here.
- Thanks.

Why is it-
why has it always been

that I can rely on you
more than my father?

- Come on, son.
- it's true.

Whenever I've
needed him most-

school sports day,
or after Jamie died,

or now to bless my marriage- the
most important decision in my life-

he somehow manages
to disappear.

Where is he?
What's he doing?

What could be more important
than me and Lexie?

And why does he think
we'd such be a disaster?

I'm sure he doesn't
think that.

- Okay, then why-
- look Archie,

I can't explain
your father,

what drives him,
what makes him tick.

He is what he is.
But this I do know-

he's a very proud father.

That's just it,
isn't it?

Someone else
has to tell me that.

I have to hear from you
that my father's proud of me.

It's no good, is it?

Something has
to be faced here.

- Lexie: I hope all works out.
- I won't forget this.

You've been kinder to me
than I have a right to expect.

You have fine spirit,
and a better heart.

Mary?

Mary?

Is it you?
Is it really you?

- you look well.
- Thank you.

I brought you a present.
It's our song.

I can't tell you
what it means to me

to see you after
all these years.

I was such a fool.

I never forgot you.

I never married.
You were the only one.

No one could match
your loveliness and smile.

I always knew you'd
come back one day.

I'm here.

Perhaps our story
can have a happy ending.

I said to all my friends,
one of these days,

he's going to come
for me- my Frank!

Perhaps, you and I,
we-

Frank?

Sing for me,
Mr. Sinatra.

Aha!

First the troublemaker,
now the fugitive.

I've had a call about you.

Something about
a dodgy credit card.

Bank of Kenya, was it?

I'll call round later
for a wee chat.

A pike is the freshwater
equivalent of the great white shark-

a killing machine.

Lifeless eyes, black eyes
like a doll's,

a wide mouth
and big teeth.

All it ever thinks about
is how to use them.

You put that in the loch

and it will clean the water
of all swimming things-

perch, trout, eels,

ducks, birds.

I once heard of someone caught
a pike, slit open its stomach

and found a kind
of dog foot inside.

How disgusting.

You rid us of that beast,
you'll be doing us all a service.

If indeed
it really is there.

It's there, believe me.
It's there.

Maybe.

Anyway, good luck
and try this bait.

Sometimes I think
it'd be easier

to just blow a pike
out of the water

rather than try and catch it
with a rod and line.

Beddy-byes, Kilwillie.
Big day tomorrow.

Right you are.
Goodbye, Golly.

Kilwillie.

What's all this?

That's stuff
for Archie's thing.

Careful, that's
plastic explosive.

Good heavens,
he's a boy, isn't he?

Yes, he is.

Maybe one day you'll get
around to telling him that.

Good man, Golly.

You wanted to see me?

I'm not sure want
is quite the right word.

Need would be
nearer the mark.

But as ever between
you and me,

this is something that I have to
do and there is no pleasure in it.

You seem rather angry.

Again, not quite
the right word.

I'm actually
rather weary.

I'm the old man. I'm the
one who should be weary.

Could you stop talking in
riddles and get to the point?

All right.

When I gathered you all
together yesterday

to tell you about
the love of my life,

I somehow knew what
would happen.

I knew ultimately
everyone else would be

thrilled for me
and Lexie.

But I also knew

that, for whatever reason,
you wouldn't.

- Can I just say- - that is
exactly how it turned out.

Because that's the way
it's always been.

With me looking
for your endorsement

and approval and never
quite getting it.

Does it really matter
what I think?

Did it matter to you what
your father thought of you?

I suppose it did.

Just for the record, I was
a grave disappointment to him.

Well, like all fathers and sons
we're stuck with each other.

Perhaps I'll always
be a problem to you.

But what I came here
to say was that

I'm just not gonna
worry about it anymore.

I'm going to leave
that up to you.

I'm 31 years old.
I'm about to get married.

And for better or worse,
I am my own man.

It's time to move on.

Good night, father.

Arch!

- What's wrong?
- Nothing, look.

I found the perfect place
to get married- in Orkney.

There's a stone circle
that's 4,000 years old

and overlooks the beach
and the Atlantic shore.

What's wrong?

Well, I've been
thinking.

Arch, I wish
you wouldn't do that.

Maybe you were right. Why should
we get married somewhere else

just because he
disapproves?

This is where we live. This
is where our friends are.

I'm sorry, but surely
you can see-

no- what I see

is that you have pushed me
into all of this.

Me and Molly have done
all this groundwork.

And I got all excited and you want
to push me into something else.

Archie, why do you
want to get married?

Is it because you love me,
or you want to spite your dad?

Or is it that now you don't
want to marry me at all?

I'm so sorry,
I was just passing.

Can I just say...

don't make
the mistake I made.

I fell in love
with a girl and I ran away

because people said
she wasn't good enough for me.

I've been lonely
my entire life.

So don't worry about what
other people say, children.

You just- hang on
to each other.

Arch, what are
we gonna do?

Golly: "sometimes I think it would be
easier to blow a pike out of the water.

Rather than try and catch
it with a rod and a line. "

Very well,
I'll come quietly.

You went to visit
my mother.

Mary?
You're Mary's son?

You told the folk
at the home

you were once her
special friend.

When?

Summer 1961.

I was born in
the spring of 1962.

I never had
a father.

Till now...

dad.

( sniffs )

- Hector...?
- Ahh!

- What are you doing?
- Looking for this.

It belonged to the boys,
do you remember?

- What are you going to do with it?
- You'll see.

I haven't finished
with you yet.

This business
with Archie and Lexie,

you've upset them both
very much, you know.

I tried telling Archie it
was nothing to do with them,

that is was related
to someone else.

Who, for heaven's sakes?

You're not making much
sense to me or anyone else.

You'd better
sit down.

You see,
it's just that-

the thing is-
it's about you-

- as it always has been.
- Me?

And me- us,
our marriage.

What about our marriage?

Molly,
when I first met you,

you were the loveliest creature
I had ever seen. You still are.

But you weren't just glamorous,
you were successful, too.

I was a model,
that's all.

No, that's not right. That Italian
chap wanted you to be in his film.

- What was it called,
"Blow Off"? - "Blow-Up. "

Mr. Antonioni.
"Blow-up. "

That's right.
But you married me instead.

I brought you here
in the middle of nowhere.

Shut you up in this gloomy, old
house, like Rapunzel in her tower.

And no one saw
your beauty but me.

A hopeless character,
not worthy of you at all.

And then,
you ran away.

This was a very
long time ago.

We haven't spoken
of it for years.

That hasn't stopped me
thinking about it. wondering.

Wondering about what?
I came back, didn't I?

You were pregnant with Jamie.
Perhaps you came back because of that.

A sense of duty,
not because of-

what has this got to do
with Archie and Lexie?

I hate the thought of the dear
girl being imprisoned like you.

Maybe she'll run off too,
but not come back.

Hector, listen to me.

When I ran off
I was young and foolish

and soon realized
what a mistake I had made.

Since then I have
never looked back.

There have been dark
moments in our life together,

but nothing to all the others
that shine in my memory.

I'm content,
with my husband

and my marriage
and my life.

No, more than that-

deeply content.

Are you, really?

Of course.

Now you must go and explain
everything to Archie.

I'll speak to them both
this evening.

Hector, Joe is
coming to see me.

I love him dearly
but oh, oh,

he's not an easy
house guest, is he?

He does rather breathe
my oxygen, old girl.

But if you want him to stay-
what are you painting?

You, but you can't see
it yet. It's not finished.

Would you
sit for me, Hector?

- can't darling, going fishing.
- Oh, must you?

I fear so.
You see, Molly,

I learned long ago that chaps
like me don't exactly make history.

We don't even influence
world events.

Once upon a time we did,
but not anymore.

All that's left
are small battles,

and even smaller victories-
like catching pike.

I love you
more than my life.

I'll see you later.

Don't worry, dear girl.
All will be well.

I feel like a boy
from the lower remove

summoned to see
the beak.

Come and sit, Joe.

Here by me.

It's been lovely
having you here.

- But-
- you want me to go?

No, no,

but your visit has
created certain waves.

And I was wondering

when you were
planning to return home?

Well, I can't.

I haven't a got a home.

I was kicked out
by the new owner.

Nouveau Kenyan.

He's an importer
of refrigerators.

There's a lot of money
in fridges in the tropics.

What about your money?

All your lands,
your tea plantations?

I made a foolish,
impetuous

and thoroughly
characteristic decision

to grow coffee on them.

Then I spent five years watching the
price drop as low as my self-esteem.

I lost everything
except you and Archie

and a sentimental police
constable called Callum.

So what are you
going to do now?

I suppose I'm throwing
myself on your mercy.

Good people, and I could be happy here,

do the odd thing,

give young Archie
wise counsel and advice.

Joe, dear Joe.

That would be fine.

But don't you see,
that is Hector's job?

Golly!

Golly!

- Are you mad?
- Oh, don't fuss.

Plastic explosives?

- Have you totally taken leave of your senses?
- I've read the instructions.

I wash my hands of this.
I don't want any part of it.

Kilwillie, are we to
be defeated by a fish?

If this incendiary folly is the only alternative
- then, yes.

You show
your true colors.

No spirit, no stomach
for the struggles of life.

Sometimes, Hector,
you really are too much.

Right, Useless,
fetch the boat.

Fetch the-
fetch-

oh, I'll do it.

Where have you been?

What's that?

I was reading...

one of the family histories
the other day.

I came across this reference
to my great-grandfather,

who found some small
quantities up in the river

right about the time they came
across some larger deposits

up in Sutherland.
So we went looking

and we found this.

But what is it?

It should just about
be enough for a couple of rings.

Gold?

You found gold?

Lex, I want to be
with you forever.

I love you more
than my life.

Arch.

H.M.S. Glenbogle,
do your worst.

( laughs heartily )

Useless?

Useless?

Ah...

( explosion )

Archie, son-

your dad.
It's your dad, Archie.

What's the old
fool done now?

Kilwillie:
Molly! Molly!

Kilwillie?
What do you want?

( theme music playing )

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