All language subtitles for Monarch Of The Glen s03e01.eng

Katrina: What time is the woman
from the bank getting here?

Anytime now. I've got
Duncan on guard duty.

Is that wise? First
impressions and all that.

Are you the lassie
from London?

Katrina: It'll be a relief when
I don't have to do this anymore.

I'm sick of this journey. Not to mention
the poxy job at the other end of it.

Never mind, soon we'll be running
the old homestead together.

That'll be great,
won't it?

All thanks to you. You've
handled the bank brilliantly.

Not just me. I had your
political nous behind me.

You're pulling
my leg aren't you?

I wouldn't mind.
( chuckles )

Sorry.
I was only joking.

- There's no other way around?
- 15 miles by the hill.

( clears throat )

Look, she's here.

Good morning!

Katrina:
How long is she staying?

Long enough to wave
the white flag

and hand over the check
for the bridge.

I can't wait
for that either.

I've had just about
enough of this thing.

- Take care.
- Duncan: Chocks away!

Hello, I'm Katrina Finlay.
Sorry we couldn't meet properly,

but I gather you're
only here for the day.

No, I'm going to be here
for quite some time.

Unfortunately.

If this is how you greet
your customers, Mr. MacDonald,

I can see why your business
badly needs some expertise.

Welcome to Glenbogle.

Hmmm.

( theme music playing )

Hector,
where are you going?

Isn't it obvious? I'm
off to practice my skiing.

I thought with Archie
running everything now,

and the two of us
in our twilight years,

we might spend a little
more time together.

Doing what?
Practicing crochet?

Golf! and the only way
to achieve that, I thought,

- is to join the wretched club myself.
- Molly!

So we could play together,
driving, putting, sharing a bunker.

Molly!
I've told you before.

Golf is not a game
for the ladies.

It's a cruel,
demanding pursuit.

It requires a lifetime
of dedication,

and the patience
of a saint.

- A bit like being married
to you then, Hector. - Quite-

( engine whines )

So Ms. Finlay is?

My girlfriend.

I see. Is she an employee of the estate?

Not yet. She's supply
teaching in Inverness.

Just a stopgap thing. Once
we get the bridge repaired,

we'll be running
the estate together.

How lovely for you.

What are these?

It's transport
to the house.

( engine starts )

Fun isn't it?

So who was the maniac
who wrecked the bridge?

- ( shouts )
- ( tires squeal )

Sorry, teeing off in
10 minutes. Tally-ho.

Father, wait!

That's my father. He's
a wonderful character.

Oh, how he
makes us laugh.

I bet.

Ah!

You're late.

I was held up
by a troublesome harpy,

masquerading
as my wife.

But now, thank heavens, I am safe.

Gracious greens,

softly undulating
fairways,

the reassuring hiss

of a state-of-the-art
sprinkler system.

Ah, yes indeed.
At least here,

a chap can find a bit
of peace and quiet.

( ladies laughing )

- what the- women!
- ( Kilwillie groans )

My family have lived in this
spot since the 14th century.

Of course, there was
once a stone keep here,

but the english soon burned
it down after Culloden.

Mr. MacDonald,
I have seen "Braveheart. "

Now let's get down
to business, shall we?

Right.

Oh, mother,

this is Stella from Lascelles.
My mother Molly.

- How nice. Stella...
- Moon.

Stella Moon.
What a lovely name.

I'm sorry my hands
are rather sticky.

I've just been milking
the sap from this tree.

Why exactly?

I found this recipe for homemade
vodka. Rots the guts by all accounts.

But if it helps keep the offy
bill down to four figures-

perhaps you'd like
to wash your hands?

Just my luck.
The bore has gone.

Has he?

- ( gun cocks )
- A word of advice, lass,

everybody lies.
It doesn't really matter

because nobody listens.

( gun clinks )

- Lexie: fore.
- ( pans rattle )

Nice one, girl.

Hector:
They're so slow.

What are they doing
here anyway?

- I thought Tuesday was Ladies' Day.
- It's Thursdays too now.

A concession of the new
president, silly chump.

What do you expect
when you elect

a bally greengrocer
to the top job.

- What are they doing?
- Perhaps they can't find the green.

Never have any difficulty
in locating a shop.

Ah, at last.

Can't even play the game, thus wildly
inconveniencing those those people who can.

What was that?

Your total indebtedness
to Lascelles

now stands
at �475,000.

After the sadly...

avoidable incident
at the bridge,

you applied
for a further

�100,000 loan
in order to repair it.

You calculated
that the bank

would eventually realize

that the only way it was
going to get its cash back

was by giving you more.

You were right.

We have. the bridge
will be repaired.

That's great.
So you're here to-

hand over the check, yes.
In fact, I have it here.

And I'm authorized
to give it to you.

Fantastic.
Thank you very much.

- On one condition.
- Condition?

The bank is only prepared
to help the estate

trade its way
out of its problems

- if you take a back seat.
- What?

I'm taking over.
With immediate effect.

( whistling )

Ah!

Found it.

It went
in the stream.

No, no,
it didn't, no.

Match play four.
My ball, see?

Really?

And did an obliging salmon
spit it out onto the fairway?

Are you accusing me
of cheating?

President: It went in the
pond. I saw it with my own eyes.

And that's
a one-stroke penalty.

And get a move on.
You're holding the ladies back.

Little Hitler, get back
to your fruit and veg.

What's he know
about golf?

( choking )

( Hector laughing )
Look.

He's driven straight
into the rough.

And the water.

Oh.

Hold on a minute.
You can't do this.

I have sweated blood for this place,
given it absolutely everything.

Just like the bank. We've
given you time, opportunity,

and not an inconsiderable sum of money.

And I was
making it work.

We had one piece
of bad luck.

It's not about luck.
It's about expertise.

You evidently
don't have either.

And you do? What do you know
about running a highland estate?

It's a failing business.
The principles are the same,

whether it's a burger shop
a bra factory or a brothel.

- Inputs and outputs.
- It's a business yes,

it's also a home, a community,
and I know it better than anyone.

I was born here.
I grew up here. it is my life.

Passion
- such a wonderful thing. In its right place.

- Do we have a deal?
- No, we do not. I cannot, I will not accept.

Then let me give you
some advice.

This isn't a game of
rugger, Mr. MacDonald.

It's a business. Why not
leave it to the experts?

Please have the books ready for
my inspection first thing tomorrow.

You're back early, Hector.
Feeling below par, are we?

The president...
is dead.

Oh, dear, poor man.

Was he assassinated?

The president
of the golf club.

- Oh.
- We have to elect a successor immediately.

The king is dead
and all that.

I'm thinking of allowing
my name to go forward.

- You?
- Oh, yes.

When the call
of destiny is heard

one cannot turn
a blind eye.

If you become president
of the golf club you'll never

be away from the place.
I shall never see you at all.

There'll be responsibilities, of course.

Perks too.

That little golf buggy
for a start.

I think I'll call it-

the Hector mobile.

( Hector chuckles )

( laughs majestically )

( rings )

- Hello.
- Hi, Archie, it's me.

Hi, sweetheart.
How are you?

Listen, I've just had
a call from Mary McBride.

- Mary who?
- you know, the M.P.

She chaired the working party
on land reform I was on.

- Oh, yeah?
- She's in Inverness for the evening

and she's asked me out
to dinner. do you mind?

- No, of course not.
- How is the lady with the check?

- Is she gone yet?
- yep.

I mean... not exactly.

I hope you were gentle
on her, Archie.

I tried my very best.

- Bye.
- Bye, have fun.

So, stopping long
are you?

- Maybe.
- Great.

Have you got a...
boyfriend?

Duncan
- it is Duncan, isn't it?

At your service.
Any time of the day-

or night.

Actually, there is
something you can do for me-

Duncan.

Can you get me across
the zambezi some other way?

Where are you
staying, Stella?

Some pokey little
B & B.

The woman sounded
very strange on the phone.

Oh, who is it?

Miss Elizabeth Logan.

That's my auntie Liz.

She's smart as
a box of frogs.

( humming )

"Hector Naismith MacDonald

presidential campaign
strategy. "

( clock chimes )

"One-"

"get votes. "

- Dear boy.
- Ah, Kilwillie,

what a wonderful
surprise.

Come in, come in,
my dear fellow.

Can I tempt you
to a tincture?

I thought we might try this.
It's my distillery's new line.

Splendid, you're a generous
old mucker, you know that.

Oh, Hector,
I should be thanking you,

all the help and support
you given me over the years.

Please, don't speak of it.
What are pals for?

- Indeed.
- ( Hector laughs )

- Both: Speaking
of which- - sorry.

- No, you first.
- Please, you're my guest.

That's very kind.
It's about the presidency.

Ah, very glad
you raised the matter.

- It's a crucial appointment.
- Yes.

Especially now that
our sacred greens

are being invaded
by alien females.

Yes, Hector.
Yes, hole in one.

That's it.

- So-
- so...

vital that the right man
gets the job this time.

And I think we both know
who that is, don't we?

Well, I think we do.

- ( Hector laughs )
- Thank you, Hector.

Your support for my candidacy
will be invaluable.

Absolute-

your candidacy?!

I'd rather help a rabid dog
to become president-

you haven't a hope
in hades, you know?

- Or a baboon with profound
learning difficulties.

You can't even play
the bally game.

Or... a woman!

You'd struggle
with the crazy golf

on the promenade
at Franklin-On-Sea.

Get off my land-

before I take a sand wedge
to your unfortunate anatomy.

You'll regret this,
Hector.

Just mark my perfectly
enunciated words.

The last time I saw
a face like yours,

- a midwife was slapping it.
- Oh, shut up!

( Hector snarls,
blows raspberry )

Arch, you've hardly
touched your dinner.

Dafty.

I'm sorry about
that Stella woman.

So unfeeling, yeah?

I just wanted
to tell her to go

and jump in the loch,
but I couldn't.

You could have,
in a nice Archie-type way.

Anyway, I think
she's bluffing.

- Do you?
- Testing you out.

Seeing how determined
you are to get through it,

if you were to roll with
the first sign of pressure.

- So if I tough it out?
- She'll back down.

Isn't that what Molly
and Hector think?

I haven't told them.

I want them to enjoy
their retirement together

quietly, without upset.

And Katrina?

I haven't told
her either.

She's out
talking politics tonight.

Mmmm, nice for her.

You'll think over
what I said?

Mary, I'm really flattered, but
there's nothing to think over.

You'd rather be
a laird's wife?

It's not like that.
He's not like that.

- We're not married.
- Okay, I don't know the man.

He might be
St. Francis of Assisi.

Or he might be
Saddam Hussein.

But consider this, what
you seem to be proposing,

smart, funny, talented
girl that you are,

is not having a career
of your own.

No, more than that, not
having a life of your own.

I need someone
like you to keep me

in touch with how
things really are.

We could be
a great team.

It'd only be the beginning
for you, believe me.

- But there's-
- think it over.

And remember,
your country needs you.

( Molly disguises voice ) Meet
me at the sawmill at 10:00 a. m.

And you will hear something
to your advantage.

I'll be the willowy
mysterious creature.

Carrying a rolled up copy

of "the Strathbogle Gazette. "

( hangs up phone )

- Katrina: she has got to be joking.
- I don't think so.

I'm going over there now
to set her straight.

Don't bother, I'll talk to her in
the morning. Anyway, it's my fight.

I mean- it's me
she wants to demote.

But it's so unfair
after everything you've done.

And that's our plans
wrecked just like that?

- No, they're not.
- Really?

How are we going to run
the place if she's in charge?

It's never gonna happen,
as Miss Moon will discover.

She's come up here with nothing
more than a bag of hot air.

- And I am going to puncture it.
- You are?

Yes.

- So come here and tell me your news.
- What news?

You said you had some news.
Mary McBride-type news.

Oh that,

that doesn't matter.
It's not important.

Who is there?

Good morning,
Kilwillie.

Molly?

I expect you're wondering
why I asked you to meet me here.

It had crossed my mind,

leaving a rather tantalizing
vapor trail behind it.

I hope I haven't dragged you
away from important business?

My dear girl,
of course not.

Even if you have,
tish and pish who cares.

- It's only this wretched-
- golf club nonsense.

Indeed, it's a silly,
piffling business

compared to the global strategy
of Kilwillie Enterprises, Inc.

But do you know,
somehow I cannot get

my rotund little head
around it.

Your presidential
election strategy-

exactement.
That's the thing.

And a very ticklish
thing it is.

Perhaps you need...

a presidential election
strategist.

I suppose I do. But where on
earth am I to find such a person?

I don't imagine they grow on
trees, especially in Glenbogle.

I don't know, Kilwillie. Sometimes you
find things where you least expect them.

You don't mean-
no, you wouldn't.

( giggles )

You'd never work against
Hector's interests, would you?

Oh, my dear man,
whatever gave you that idea?

It's just that
living here, golly,

one remains an innocent,

unversed in politics

and the sordid
realities of the world.

Whereas?

Whereas, you golly,

are a veritable
thug in tweeds.

Thank you very much, Hector.
I love you too.

What I mean is,
you have-

a chilling flair
for when and where

to stick the dirk in.

And this time,
Kilwillie's the hit, right?

Indeed.
Send him to sleep

with the fishes,
golly.

- Electorally speaking, of course.
- Okay, boss.

- Excellent.
- Ummm...

what do I get out of it?

What- what-?

Thank you, boss.

The answer is no.

- I see.
- I simply can't see what advantage

would be gained for this
estate or indeed the bank,

- by you taking over
from me. - Uh-huh.

I'm sorry, but I think I have a
greater knowledge and experience.

I believe I am
the only person

who can put this place
back on its feet.

Right.

With all due respect
and no offense intended.

Fine.

Then I can do
no more here.

For the present.

How did it go?

Fine.

- Did you tell her?
- I most certainly did.

See, I knew it would work.

Good on you, Arch.

Lex, sometimes
a man's got to do

what a man's got to do.

Now then, Duncan,

have you got any lengths
of two by two?

Don't despair, Kilwillie,
I think I can see a way.

Molly, can you?

The smaller the electorate,
the more susceptible

- they are to pressure.
- I'm not sure I could-

the Reverend Snoddy
- exceedingly fond of the sauce.

Send him a crate
of wine.

You know McSween who
runs the hardware store?

His wife's
the most terrible snob.

- Invite them to dinner.
- Oh, I see.

And the rear admiral,
you remember, he once accused

Hector of cheating
at canasta.

- This is going to be fun, isn't it?
- Molly,

can an admiring
and deeply grateful fellow,

give you a kiss?

Let's go oil the wheels
of democracy first, shall we?

And then
said deeply grateful fellow

can offer a girl
a morsel of recompense.

You see, Kilwillie's
virtually a new boy.

I've known these lads
for years.

McCloud, Arnatt,
Old Shuggs

all of them. now I'm-

quietly confident
of my reputation.

However confident
you are, Hector,

I think you better
check these laddies out.

Just to be
on the safe side.

Very well. Meanwhile, I shall
press the flesh in person.

- Where are you going?
- 19th hole, ultimately.

Tally-ho!

( coins clinking )

Lexie: This is from my holiday fund.

I'll pay you back.
I just need some petrol money.

All right,
that's 5.25,

two Irish pence,

and 250 drachmas.

Arch- you did get the check
off of Stella, didn't you?

The check.

Okay, what are you doing?

You rejected plan A,

this is plan B.
There is no plan C.

You can't just-
Duncan, will you stop that?

You'll never sell the place
with the bridge in that state.

First, we'll declare
you bankrupt.

Then we'll have
the bridge repaired.

- Then sell the estate-
- yes, but-

all very regrettable,
of course.

But as you rejected
our very generous offer- tough.

Okay.

I'm sorry,
did you say something?

You win.

I'll never
sell Glenbogle.

- Will you just tell me what happened?
- What happened?

I'll tell you what
happened. I took your advice.

- Just about the biggest mistake of my life!
- What?

I've no idea how
horrendous the consequences

will be, or how I'm
going to live with them.

But hey, that's what
you get for being

stupid enough to listen
to you, Alexandra.

Archie, just listen to me!

I was only trying-

Katrina wasn't here
and you seemed quite low.

- Look, Lexie-
- you've disappointed me.

You really have.

You're an ungrateful,
unfeeling-

ughh!

Lexie!

So Mr. MacDonald,

how exactly would
you characterize

the state of industrial
relations here at Glenbogle?

Whew!

Golly: I'm telling you someone
is nobbling the committee.

You see old chap,
you're a Scot,

and therefore a pessimist
of the most lugubrious kind.

I can tell by their voices on the phone.

- From what they said?
- What they didn't say.

From the- what do you
call it- the subtext.

- Subtext?
- Look, look. What did I tell you?

So Old Shuggs is having a
rockery laid. That's all-

what? you're right.

There he is.

Brazen!

Old Shuggs isn't
interested in gardening.

But Ma Shuggs is.
Alpines, especially.

See Hector, she wears
the trousers, right?

So he keeps her happy
with the flowers, that way

he gets to spend more time
with a five iron in his fist.

- Cunning!
- Hmmm.

Too cunning
for Kilwillie though.

I think there's a superior
intelligence at work, golly.

I'm a bit confused
by some of these

cash-flow projections.
Perhaps you can enlighten me?

I'm not sure I can.
It's Katrina's territory.

Ah yes, the girlfriend.
Better ask her then.

You might like
to look at this.

If you can follow it.
My recovery strategy.

The executive summary
is at the front.

Hmmm.

We need to talk about exactly
how we're going to manage this.

We?

Mr. MacDonald,

this business is deeper
in debt than when you arrived,

its income lower, its
infrastructure literally crumbling.

- That is unfair.
- You don't understand basic accountancy.

You can't manage staff.

If you want to be helpful,
take a long holiday.

- Look- - you are the
weakest link. Goodbye.

Between us, Katrina and I

have all the necessary
hands-on skills.

I hope she's got
very long arms.

- Eh?
- She's off to Westminster.

This fax came through.

I thought it was for me
from the bank.

Something to do
with a new job.

I'm sorry.

She didn't tell you?

Golly: According to my canvassing,

he has three votes
in the bag.

Sheer bribery,

been showering
the glen with largess

like manure
from a muckspitter.

You've held on
to three votes yourself.

- Good lads.
- The infirm, the insane and the insensible.

Please, still makes three!
Who has the casting vote?

One Robert McFadden.

Bobby!

Marvelous chap.
Ha!

Is he still alive?

( knife peeling )

I'm sorry.

So you should be.

Stella's right.

Maybe it is time
you had a new boss.

Is it that bad?

It's not bad.
It utterly catastrophic.

Will you do me a favor
and get everyone together?

I don't think I can
say this more than once.

Look,

don't punish yourself.

It's only a job.

You've still got
your mates,

and Katrina.

- ( man snoring )
- Hector: Ouch! shhh.

If we can tie old Bobby up,
metaphorically speaking-

tomorrow we'll be celebrating
your inauguration.

Exactly.

( laughs )
Bobby, wake up, old man.

I have something of great
import to impart to you.

Nurse:
Can I help you?

Visitors are asked
to check in at reception.

This is a nursing home,

not a training ground
for aging S.A.S. Operatives.

Oh.
( chuckles )

We though we'd give
the old chap a surprise.

I'm Bobby's son.

No, you're not.
You're Hector MacDonald.

Your vehicle once
ran over my foot

when you mounted the cab
at the Masonic Hall.

You were in drink.

- Hello, golly.
- Marion.

Mr. McFadden's real son
was here a short while ago.

A most charming man.

A most generous man.

He made a substantial
donation

to the staff's
Christmas fund.

Donation?

I have the whiff of rodent
in my nostrils, golly.

His wife was charming too,
the acme of elegance.

Kilwillie with a woman?

What was she like?

Perfidious woman!

You have stabbed me
to the quick.

Snuffed out my hopes.
Oh, treachery.

Molly: Do be quiet,
Hector. It's a golf club

we're talking about,
not the throne of Scotland.

Archie: Can I have some quiet, please?

I have something
to tell you all.

What is it?

- It looks like I am going to be leaving you.
- But why?

It's the only way
the bank can be stopped

from pulling out and bringing
the whole place down.

I have made my case
to Stella

but she won't be moved and
ultimately, she has the whip hand.

This can't happen, Arch.

It's either me
or the estate.

So that's it.
I am out.

Archie?
What is it?

Archie,
I'm so sorry.

What are you
going to do?

I have absolutely no idea.

Maybe I'll come
to London with you.

This came for you.

- I know what you're thinking.
- Congratulations.

The job you've always
dreamed of.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I had no
intention of taking it.

That's not what
Mary McBride thinks.

"I know that you really want
to grab this opportunity

with both hands
and I can't wait to begin

what I'm sure will be
a great partnership. "

I thought we had
a great partnership.

Archie, will you
just shut up?

She's trying to persuade
me to take the job.

You need to be persuaded?

A few months ago, I would
have bitten her hand off,

but not now.

I've got everything
I want right here.

Yeah?

Did you think I was going to
leave you and go to London?

Especially now?

Okay.

So, what did she say when
you finally turned her down?

I haven't actually
told her yet.

You're still
thinking about it?

Yeah- well, no.

Archie, stop it.

All that I have worked for
this last year,

all that I have fought for,
have been the two things

that I care about most:
This place and us.

I'm wondering now
why I bothered.

You have no faith in
me, do you? No trust.

First sign of trouble
and you just write me off.

Thanks, Archie.

( knocking on door )

Lexie:
Molly?

We can't let this happen.

Duncan!

Dun-can!

Whew.

( giggles )
Get in there, girl.

Duncan:
This is not right.

Whose side
are you on?

Don't answer that.

Lovesick bampole.

Dun-can!

We haven't got permission
from the escape committee.

But I'm sure you'll enjoy a
little excursion, eh, Bobby?

Oh dear.

Especially in the noble cause
of democracy.

( chuckles )

Hey!

Bobby:
Oh dear.

Kilwillie: I'm sure you're
going to enjoy your day out.

( Bobby mumbles fearfully )

Have you ever traveled in one
of these things, Bobby?

- Rather marvelous beasts
- Bobby: Oh! oh!

Kilwillie: I'm afraid it'll
put that thing of yours

to shame, what?
Hector!

Ahh!

Hello again.

I've never actually
encountered a stalker before,

but on the basis
of what I've heard,

this is a pretty
weird obsession.

Ohh,

give us a break.

Lexie?

( clicking )

Oh, yes.

So?

Lexie: You might be wondering
why we put on this pantomime.

- A bit of a laugh at my expense?
- Molly: nothing so childish.

Oh here, dear.
You must be cold.

- Thank you, Molly.
- We thought we'd give you a little taste

of what it'd be like if you
carry on with this foolishness.

Golly:
It's not just the house.

It's 39,000 acres of forest, moor,
and mountain that needs looking after.

- You mean?
- If Archie goes...

we all go.

( door opens )

Archie: hi.

Just packing up
some stuff.

Look, I'm sorry
about last night.

I said some things
I shouldn't have.

I can only plead
mitigating circumstances.

But you know, rows are
sometimes good for relationships.

You come through them a
stronger and better couple.

- Cobblers.
- What?

This document of hers-

the assumptions behind some
of the figures, they just seem-

is this hers?
Let's have a squint.

- Katrina, you can't.
- What's she gonna do?

Sue me for industrial
espionage?

Right, so if
you'll excuse me,

I have things to do.
Before I go,

- I've got one thing
to say to you- - yes?

I know you.
You need to win.

But just reflect
on this, lass,

you can't have everything.

I mean... if you did,

where would you put it?

Molly: You must see,
dear, this stand of ours,

anything else
wouldn't be right.

Hector: You do the dirty on my
boy and you're history, Miss Goon.

Moon!
You too, Duncan?

Well-

aye, afraid so.

You see, Stella,

anyone who knows
anything about Archie

knows what a difference
he's made around here.

His flair, his energies,

ability to get the best
out of people-

oh, yeah?
Fancy him, do you?

Archie: Good morning. How is life

at the cutting edge
of management theory?

You just missed
the worker's revolt-

- you go, they go, apparently.
- thanks, everyone, but please,

don't throw away your
futures on my account.

I have plenty of other
irons in the fire.

Yes, it would be a shame, but
it's not the end of the world.

- they can all be replaced.
- yes, so I read-

at a cost more or less equal
to the national debt of Bolivia.

Get to the point,
Mr. MacDonald.

The thing is, the coup d'etat
may have been

a total success,
and I congratulate you,

but I do think the new regime
may not last very long,

if this is
anything to go by.

Would you all leave Archie
and me for a moment, please?

Katrina stays,
she's part of this.

Okay, whatcha got?

Your figures are
all up the Swanee.

- No, they're not.
- not just wages, or the estimates

for supplies, food,
gift shop items,

even loo rolls-
all way over the top.

I can defend everything.
They're perfectly reasonable.

They would be if you made
them in an office in London,

but not for up here.
They're way too high,

which is why you've had to inflate
the income targets to match the budget.

And you'll never
meet them.

You won't last a year.
Do you want to know

- what I'd do with this?
- ( papers drop )

So you think you
can do better, do you?

I didn't say that. I'm sure you
have many excellent qualities.

Local knowledge
isn't one of them.

Well...

maybe there's a way of
synthesizing my approach with yours.

Last evening,
sitting after dinner,

a glass of armagnac
at my elbow,

musing about what I was
going to say to you lot today,

I started to think
about the relationship

between a president
and his people.

And I was
suddenly struck

by the curious parallels
between my own life

and that of Nelson Mandela.

We were both imprisoned
for many years

in the struggle
for liberation.

In my case,
from my late wife,

- a woman of uncertain temper.
- ( door opens )

Mr. Mandela is known
through out Africa

simply as "The Father. "

And perhaps you could come
to think of me like that.

As you sip these libations
provided at cost,

by Kilwillie Distilleries
and Ales Limited.

Or when you enjoy
a subsidized trip

to the next
open championship,

maybe you could just
raise a glass and say-

( snoring )

"Thank you, daddy. "

Eh, Bobby?

Uh?

Archie:
I'm sorry.

You'll have to put up
with me for a little bit longer.

- ( laughing )
- What did she say?

We'll work together.

Under her overall
authority.

But the bridge will be repaired
and we can get going again.

She's in charge
and you're the underling?

It's not gonna be easy. In fact,
it's probably gonna be a nightmare,

but I really want
to push ahead

with everything we've
planned and win it all back.

I see your strategy.
Long game, secret war.

We shall fight her on the beaches,
we shall fight her in the hills-

- and in the kitchens.
- We shall never surrender.

Come on, Hector, you have
a public statement to make.

Hector: More fun than
running a golf club.

- You can count on me, boy.
- Duncan: Lexie?

Are we allowed to like her
as well as fight her?

Oh, shut up.

Well done, Arch.

( Kilwillie sighs )

Typical.

Can't even be bothered
to turn up.

But we do have
his address.

Perhaps golly would like
to entertain us with it.

I think we just better
wait for himself.

Come on, golly, you're not afraid
to stand on your own two feet?

All right.

( paper rustles )

Right.

"From an early age

I have been destined to
bear the burden of command.

In the nursery,
my governess, quint,

a sturdy female who had
worked for many years

in a women's prison,

instilled, by the force of
her considerable personality,

in keen appreciation
of order and discipline. "

Ah ha,
my worthy opponent.

Sorry, I just dropped round
to say I'm pulling out.

Yes!

Pressing estate business.
Terribly sorry.

Best man wins
and all that.

I couldn't compete
with you, Kilwillie.

What a generous
fellow you are.

Archie: I'd never have
done it without you.

Katrina: Yes, you would.
Maybe in a different way.

What am I going
to do, Archie?

You think I should
take the job, don't you?

I don't know.
Honestly, I don't.

Well, I'm not.

I'm staying here
with you.

Good.

I mean you're my man.
It's just a job, right?

Well, a career.

What are you thinking?

I'm just taking it all in.

I know it's the kind
of job you've dreamed of.

Giving it up for me,
it makes me feel-

I don't know. it makes me
think how lucky I am.

So?

I'm thinking
of the future too,

about us in a year,

you still supply teaching,
traveling to Inverness everyday.

Or being Mrs. Laird-

opening sports days
and church fetes.

I'm wondering if you'll
still feel the same then.

Don't say that. it sounds
like you want me to go.

No, I don't.
Believe me, I don't.

But you really
want that job.

- It's so unfair.
- what?

You spend your life...

looking for the person that's
perfect for you in every way.

And then you find them,

and it's wonderful
for a short time and then-

and then the world tells you
you can't have her.

Oh, Archie,
what are we gonna do?

Do you think
it could work?

You here and
me down there?

You've already had one
long distance relationship.

Yeah,
I've had that.

What do you think?

I feel like...

something's
quietly dying.

Is that it then?

Hector: Costly business
politics, eh, Kilwillie?

Are you sure
this is right?

Take it then.

( cheering )

- Kilwillie!
- Molly.

The girls and I congratulate
you on your great victory.

And we so look forward
to working with you

as you bend to the task of
delivering your solemn commitments.

- My what?
- Ensuring that our management committee

represents all the members
and not just the old dinosaurs,

regardless of age
and gender.

Putting and end to such

patronizing concepts
as ladies' days.

- I don't know if I can- - and all
the other conditions I imposed on you

when you asked me to help you cheat,
bully and bribe your way to the top.

But if you want to wriggle
out of them,

I'm sure your voters
will be most interested

to hear of your electoral
malpractices.

Well, of course
I managed it.

Yeah, the old trick.

I got him to cooperate
by threatening

with something much worse.

Yeah, I soon got him
kicked into line.

He's a toff. They don't
like it up them, do they?

Thank you, very much.

Bye.

- ( rope snaps )
- Oh my god.

Oh.

Duncan!

Dun-can!

No, leave her be.

That one needs to learn
the first rule of life up here.

What's that?

Come into this world,
naked, wet and cold-

all right.

And then things
really get bad.

Duncan.

Dun-can!

Duncan!

( theme music playing )

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