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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,031 --> 00:00:13,671 (CLUNK) Whoa! Hmmmmm! 2 00:00:19,226 --> 00:00:21,946 (DRAWER SQUEAKS) 3 00:00:27,077 --> 00:00:29,237 (RATTLES) (SIGHS) 4 00:00:32,591 --> 00:00:35,111 (CAR CHUGS) 5 00:00:36,421 --> 00:00:38,860 Hal, did you replace that bulb? 6 00:00:38,757 --> 00:00:42,117 What does it look like I'm doing?! 7 00:00:43,122 --> 00:00:45,761 Yes no maybe 8 00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:48,449 I don't know 9 00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:51,729 Can you repeat the question? 10 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,705 You're not the boss of me now 11 00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:57,425 You're not the boss of me now 12 00:00:57,368 --> 00:01:00,407 And you're not so big 13 00:01:00,278 --> 00:01:02,718 You're not the boss of me now 14 00:01:04,644 --> 00:01:07,163 You're not the boss of me now 15 00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:09,855 And you're not so big 16 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,537 Life is unfair 17 00:01:18,085 --> 00:01:23,044 Here we are, Bernard. This is my cage. 18 00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:26,833 Are you serious? (WHISPERS) Mom? Dad? 19 00:01:26,663 --> 00:01:29,862 This is Bernard, the hamster from my class. 20 00:01:29,727 --> 00:01:33,686 It's my weekend to take care of him. This isn't a good time. 21 00:01:33,518 --> 00:01:36,677 I want you to see how good I am at taking care of him, 22 00:01:36,544 --> 00:01:39,623 and how good I'd be at taking care of a dog. 23 00:01:39,492 --> 00:01:42,931 Did I mention that all the other kids have dogs? 24 00:01:42,786 --> 00:01:45,905 Honey, your father and I need to talk. 25 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:50,612 I saw a nice one at the pet store and I could name him Jeff and - 26 00:01:50,406 --> 00:01:53,366 Go play in your room! OK. 27 00:01:57,874 --> 00:02:00,633 I'll put your cage right here, Bernard. 28 00:02:00,516 --> 00:02:04,475 Sorry I said I wanted a dog in front of you. 29 00:02:04,307 --> 00:02:07,346 Is your brain big enough to get your feelings hurt? 30 00:02:07,218 --> 00:02:10,618 Me neither. I'll take good care of you. 31 00:02:12,847 --> 00:02:15,687 Bernard? 32 00:02:21,846 --> 00:02:24,286 (SQUEAK! SQUEAK!) 33 00:02:29,276 --> 00:02:34,635 I thought you were getting a routine check-up. That's when they find it. 34 00:02:34,407 --> 00:02:38,087 Can't they do anything? Not until they get the biopsy back. 35 00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:42,868 There you are. (SQUEAK! SQUEAK!) 36 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:49,403 You can't call that a short cut! It has to be shorter! Says who?! 37 00:02:49,189 --> 00:02:53,428 Says the word! It's just when you don't use regular streets. 38 00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:57,007 If it took 150 years to cross the street, 39 00:02:56,848 --> 00:03:00,247 as long as you went through some bushes, that'd be a short cut?! 40 00:03:00,103 --> 00:03:05,022 You hate being wrong. Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. 41 00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:09,092 What is wrong with you? Look at that floor! Oh, sorry. 42 00:03:08,911 --> 00:03:12,590 How many times have I said don't track mud into this house? 43 00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:15,713 We'll clean it up. Not good enough! You're grounded for a week! 44 00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:20,573 What? You can't do that! Want it to be two weeks? Dad! 45 00:03:20,361 --> 00:03:24,320 You heard your mother. This is ridiculous! You're being unfair! 46 00:03:24,152 --> 00:03:28,071 Just because Malcolm got mud on his shoes and tracked it in the house 47 00:03:27,905 --> 00:03:31,305 doesn't mean he should be grounded. Go to your room now! 48 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:39,467 What's her problem? They're so boring they invent stuff to be upset about. 49 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:46,443 Are you the biggest idiot to ever walk this Earth? 50 00:03:46,287 --> 00:03:50,126 Good morning. What did I tell you to do, jackass? 51 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:55,122 Paint the kitchen, which I'm doing. What kind of a moron paints it white? 52 00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:58,702 Wanna see all the dirt? What'd they teach you in college? 53 00:03:58,541 --> 00:04:03,340 I'm a high school dropout and I used the paint that you left for me. 54 00:04:03,137 --> 00:04:06,536 I moved that paint so you could get to the green, idiot. 55 00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:10,031 Do it over, even if you're here all night! What? 56 00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:13,515 That paint you wasted is coming out of your pay. 57 00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:16,641 I should paint it the colour of your dye job. 58 00:04:21,518 --> 00:04:23,558 What? He didn't say anything. 59 00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:29,019 I said maybe I should paint it the same colour as your dye job, 60 00:04:28,832 --> 00:04:33,232 you sagging, leathery, hatchet-faced, dried-up old hag. 61 00:04:33,926 --> 00:04:38,925 Alright, college boy, you want it? You got it! I'm gonna kick your ass! 62 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:43,591 Excuse me? I'm kickin' your ass. Don't ever disrespect me like that. 63 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:47,023 You can't challenge her to a fight. I didn't challenge anybody. 64 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,508 Hey, Lavernie's fightin' college boy! 65 00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:53,476 (CHEERS) We've got an opening Sunday at two before Mass. 66 00:04:53,303 --> 00:04:56,462 Sunday. Two o'clock. Your ass, my foot. 67 00:04:56,328 --> 00:04:58,927 There's no way I'm fighting a woman! 68 00:04:58,817 --> 00:05:03,136 If I don't mind, why should you? Oooooo! (ALL LAUGH) 69 00:05:02,953 --> 00:05:08,393 See what she did? She called him a woman. It's gonna be a blood bath! 70 00:05:25,011 --> 00:05:29,330 You're right, Dewey. When was the last time we played ball? 71 00:05:29,147 --> 00:05:34,146 I don't know. Sometimes life gets away from you 72 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,973 and you forget the things that are really important. 73 00:05:36,844 --> 00:05:39,084 AAARGH!! Egh! 74 00:05:40,099 --> 00:05:45,258 This is crazy. I have enough on my mind without worrying about you! 75 00:05:45,039 --> 00:05:49,278 But, Mom - Don't leave this room. I don't want to see or hear you. 76 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:53,898 I don't want to sense your presence. For crying out loud, Reese, 77 00:05:53,694 --> 00:05:56,413 there's a mirror right there! 78 00:05:56,298 --> 00:06:00,378 Believe me, I am going to watch that door like a hawk. 79 00:06:03,344 --> 00:06:06,943 What's her problem? This can't be about mud. 80 00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:09,510 Something's going on. What've you done lately? 81 00:06:09,395 --> 00:06:13,394 The Richardsons' fire, the windshield, the Sampsons' fire, 82 00:06:13,224 --> 00:06:17,543 the Jacksons' fire. Nothing she knows about. This sucks! 83 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,119 Well, if you can't do the time, 84 00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:22,802 don't do the crime. See ya Monday. 85 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:27,162 Hey, moron, do you know what tomorrow night is? Christine Matson's party! 86 00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:31,851 That's this weekend? Yeah, and her sister's bringing her friends. 87 00:06:31,644 --> 00:06:35,003 They tongue kiss whether they like you or not! 88 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:39,740 It's shaking hands to them. It's a cultural thing. We have to go! 89 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:43,732 Reese, if I show you a way we can go, 90 00:06:43,554 --> 00:06:47,713 do you promise never to let anyone find out even though you're an idiot? 91 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:50,337 I swear. OK. 92 00:06:51,941 --> 00:06:55,380 I was saving this for a life or death emergency... 93 00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,753 ..or a really good party. 94 00:06:57,646 --> 00:07:00,406 Tell me! 95 00:07:04,578 --> 00:07:09,137 No way. We're not hitting Mom with that! Reese, tomorrow night, 96 00:07:08,943 --> 00:07:13,382 we take out the floorboard and sneak outside through the crawl space. 97 00:07:13,194 --> 00:07:18,833 Wow. Tunnelling out of our own room. She can't lock us in any more. 98 00:07:18,594 --> 00:07:23,834 Mom's powerless. Yeah. Now she's just a crazy old lady we live with. 99 00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:47,341 Thanks, Dewey! 100 00:07:48,311 --> 00:07:51,830 It's Dewey. Let's hurt him, fellow idiot. 101 00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:54,561 Yes. I hate him for his handsomeness. 102 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,058 Aaaarrgh! 103 00:08:13,317 --> 00:08:15,516 Hi, Dewey. Hi, Lance. 104 00:08:15,423 --> 00:08:19,302 Well, what do ya know? It's Bernard. Let me see him. 105 00:08:19,138 --> 00:08:23,097 You can't have him. That's alright. I can wait. 106 00:08:22,929 --> 00:08:25,608 Next week is my turn to have him. 107 00:08:25,495 --> 00:08:28,135 We're gonna have a lot of fun. 108 00:08:31,622 --> 00:08:35,061 You can't keep the hamster. He belongs to the class. 109 00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:38,435 He won't be safe. You take good care of him, 110 00:08:38,286 --> 00:08:42,045 but you have to share him. Lance isn't my friend. 111 00:08:41,885 --> 00:08:45,765 He tore Billy's shirt off after school and - (PHONE RINGS) 112 00:08:46,634 --> 00:08:49,393 Hello? Yes! This is he. 113 00:08:49,276 --> 00:08:51,955 He killed a frog and brought it to school. 114 00:08:51,842 --> 00:08:57,522 Dewey, I said no! Do you want to be grounded like your brothers? No. 115 00:08:59,156 --> 00:09:03,515 I've never seen her this worked up for a fight. She's done this before? 116 00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:06,809 Since I've been here, she's fought five guys. 117 00:09:06,662 --> 00:09:09,741 You're lucky you got some warning. 118 00:09:09,611 --> 00:09:11,850 Know Big Don? The guy with one ear? 119 00:09:11,755 --> 00:09:16,034 Yeah. He was going to the privvy and she dropped on him like a spider. 120 00:09:15,853 --> 00:09:20,292 What's wrong with her? We were having a stupid argument. 121 00:09:20,104 --> 00:09:22,823 How did it turn into a fight? It's how we settle things. 122 00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:26,307 There are three other fights tomorrow. Four. 123 00:09:26,154 --> 00:09:30,113 Ned cut in front of Daryl. Well, I hate to disappoint you 124 00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:33,344 but I'm not fighting Lavernia. Really? 125 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,559 Are you sure? No, he'll fight her. 126 00:09:36,417 --> 00:09:39,576 No, I won't. Thank you! 127 00:09:39,443 --> 00:09:44,802 Fellas! It looks like we're having a coward's cotillion. '(ALL CHEER)' 128 00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:47,253 I'll get the dogs ready. I'll sharpen the pig-sticker. 129 00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:49,259 What are you talking about? 130 00:09:49,169 --> 00:09:53,288 Fighting's the only entertainment here. You've seen our TV reception. 131 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:57,993 If someone cheats the boys out of a fight, there's a coward's cotillion. 132 00:09:57,786 --> 00:10:02,425 What the hell is a coward's cotillion? It's always different. 133 00:10:02,228 --> 00:10:05,187 You never know what animal the blood will attract. 134 00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:09,501 My choices are to fight a woman or the stupid cotillion thing? 135 00:10:09,313 --> 00:10:12,872 Well,... there's always the... 136 00:10:12,721 --> 00:10:14,921 ..Howdy Stranger. 137 00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:42,157 How can they make us wait another 24 hours? 138 00:10:42,054 --> 00:10:46,374 They're short-handed at the lab. Don't they realise it's your life? 139 00:10:51,589 --> 00:10:55,708 Don't worry. This is for the best. I'm setting you free. 140 00:10:55,534 --> 00:10:59,374 You won't have to worry about anyone being mean any more. 141 00:11:00,895 --> 00:11:05,215 Come on, Bernard. Run. Run like the wind. 142 00:11:10,047 --> 00:11:14,607 You have to do this, Bernard. It's for your own good. 143 00:11:15,447 --> 00:11:17,847 I'll be OK. 144 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:26,841 Go on! I don't want you any more. 145 00:11:26,706 --> 00:11:29,946 I don't like you. I never did! 146 00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:35,813 Go on! Go on, you dumb old hamster. 147 00:11:42,751 --> 00:11:44,591 Bye, Bernard. 148 00:11:55,044 --> 00:11:59,683 Booby trapped? A broom handle tied to a string of tin cans. A classic. 149 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:03,565 If Mom trusted us, I think she'd be pleasantly surprised. 150 00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:07,552 Yeah. We're basically good kids. She's so unreasonable. 151 00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:12,992 Are you almost ready? Just a sec. Will you come on? 152 00:12:22,195 --> 00:12:25,395 If anyone asks, I'm in junior college. 153 00:12:27,518 --> 00:12:29,958 < (SCUFFLING) 154 00:13:05,813 --> 00:13:08,293 Hi, boys. 155 00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:19,006 You don't know how lucky you are. Everything is new. 156 00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:23,032 Everything is open to you. Please, don't ever take that for granted. 157 00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:27,333 Make every moment the best you possibly can. 158 00:13:27,143 --> 00:13:31,223 God, I am so proud of all of you. 159 00:13:33,462 --> 00:13:36,742 You kids are the best thing I've ever done. 160 00:13:39,015 --> 00:13:41,735 You'll never know how much I love you. 161 00:13:44,644 --> 00:13:48,604 Maybe you're not supposed to. (SNIFFS) 162 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:53,196 Sleep well, my little angels. 163 00:13:53,069 --> 00:13:55,228 (BOOM!) Aaaaargh! Aaaaaarrrgghhh! 164 00:13:55,137 --> 00:13:58,417 Aaaaaaarrgh!! Aaaaaarrgh!! 165 00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:01,775 '(BOTH SCREAM)' 166 00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:06,924 Amazing! I made out with a sophomore. I'm so far ahead of schedule. 167 00:14:06,702 --> 00:14:10,582 Did you see the TV fly off the roof into the pool? That was me. 168 00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:18,421 I hope we get grounded next weekend. 169 00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:24,176 '(BOTH SCREAM)' 170 00:14:26,692 --> 00:14:30,331 How dare you?! How dare you defy us like that?! 171 00:14:30,177 --> 00:14:34,176 We wouldn't have if you weren't so hard over a little mud on the floor! 172 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:38,045 You two are the most ungrateful, badly behaved, inconsiderate boys 173 00:14:37,874 --> 00:14:42,513 ever born! How could you be so heartless? What's heartless 174 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:46,075 about going to a party with a bunch of slutty girls? Be cool. 175 00:14:45,916 --> 00:14:51,075 You were at a party?! While we were here worrying?! Can I have a napkin? 176 00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:55,535 I cannot believe you two! Alright. That's it! 177 00:14:55,336 --> 00:14:59,575 You're grounded for the rest of the school year! You can't do that! 178 00:14:59,396 --> 00:15:04,315 You're crazy! You do not talk to your mother that way ever! 179 00:15:04,106 --> 00:15:08,505 You'll show her the love and respect she deserves whether I'm here or not! 180 00:15:08,318 --> 00:15:12,838 This family sucks! You are ruining our lives! I wish you were dead! 181 00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:26,602 What was that all about? She usually just says, "I'm taking you with me." 182 00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:33,469 I want to tell you something. We'll talk at two. 183 00:15:33,325 --> 00:15:35,924 I'm gonna tell you this right now. 184 00:15:35,814 --> 00:15:39,933 I hate your guts. You're the most horrible person I've ever met. 185 00:15:39,758 --> 00:15:44,038 You are mean, sadistic, twisted and spiteful. And I owe you an apology. 186 00:15:45,196 --> 00:15:50,115 What I said was a cheap shot about your looks 187 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,947 and you don't deserve that. No-one deserves that. 188 00:15:53,277 --> 00:15:56,996 You're right. Thank you. 189 00:15:56,838 --> 00:16:01,037 What the hell are we doing this for anyway? This won't solve anything. 190 00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:03,898 We're just putting on a show for idiots. 191 00:16:03,769 --> 00:16:06,768 If you think you have to prove something 192 00:16:06,641 --> 00:16:10,280 because you're a woman, you don't. You came and built 193 00:16:10,126 --> 00:16:14,005 a successful business in this awful place. You have accomplished plenty. 194 00:16:13,841 --> 00:16:18,680 Oh, my God! You're coming on to me! What? 195 00:16:18,475 --> 00:16:23,594 Peddle your sugar to somebody else, cos this bee ain't buyin'. What?! 196 00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:27,375 The last thing I need is some young punk frolicking in my nethers. 197 00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:31,326 You don't listen t... I try to talk to you... Ew! 198 00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:37,886 Do you hear anything? Mom's still crying. 199 00:16:37,737 --> 00:16:42,856 Did she ever go to sleep? At 3 she went from sobbing to a quiet whimper. 200 00:16:42,639 --> 00:16:45,238 She's just trying to psych us out! 201 00:16:45,128 --> 00:16:50,407 I don't think so. When was the last time you heard Dad yell and Mom cry? 202 00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,902 You're right. Something weird is going on. 203 00:16:52,787 --> 00:16:56,747 They've been whispering a lot, too. I just figured it out. 204 00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:01,540 Oh, no. Oh, no! 205 00:17:05,999 --> 00:17:08,199 (CHEERING) 206 00:17:12,892 --> 00:17:15,931 I've never seen her like this. What do you expect? 207 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:18,921 The boy tried to jump in bed with her! 208 00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:21,828 Dude, she's killing you! Do something. 209 00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:25,379 I will not hit a woman. Then, here. Take this. 210 00:17:25,223 --> 00:17:28,022 What is it? A screwdriver. Jab and twist. 211 00:17:27,903 --> 00:17:30,903 I'm not using the screwd... Aaargh! 212 00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:38,738 Fight. Ugh! Back. Ugh! 213 00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:44,369 Ease up on him. His only crime was loving you. 214 00:17:44,179 --> 00:17:47,898 Ugh! You disgust me. You better run home to Mama, 215 00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:52,539 so she can kiss your tears away and make you cocoa and tell you - Ugh! 216 00:17:52,335 --> 00:17:54,574 Yeah! Yeah! (CHEERING) 217 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,239 My mother's a tormented control freak. 218 00:17:57,122 --> 00:18:00,881 It would never occur to her to make me cocoa! 219 00:18:00,722 --> 00:18:03,241 (SPITS / PING!) 220 00:18:03,135 --> 00:18:05,095 (CHEERING) 221 00:18:12,249 --> 00:18:17,848 You're going down, college boy. Bring it on, you toad. 222 00:18:17,610 --> 00:18:19,610 (CHEERING) 223 00:18:53,071 --> 00:18:55,911 Yeah! Yeah! (WHISTLING / CHEERING) 224 00:18:56,633 --> 00:19:00,593 Ned. Daryl. You're up. Somebody help me clear this floor. 225 00:19:09,461 --> 00:19:11,861 Alright. I'll get the camera. 226 00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:19,884 If anyone at school asks, your name's Bernard. 227 00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:22,684 You like carrots and having your tummy scratched. 228 00:19:25,852 --> 00:19:30,371 'No. We've been waiting for hours. Now please give us the information.' 229 00:19:30,179 --> 00:19:35,699 Negative?! Negative! That's a good one, right? Yes, thank you. 230 00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:45,326 If Mom does a load of blankets I'll bring you a friend. 231 00:19:46,569 --> 00:19:51,088 Oh! Mom. Dad. We have something to say. 232 00:19:50,897 --> 00:19:54,776 We know why you've been crying. You don't have to protect us. 233 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:58,370 We think getting a divorce is a great idea. What? 234 00:19:58,211 --> 00:20:02,530 You don't have to stay together. We've known for years it was a sham. 235 00:20:02,347 --> 00:20:04,346 Your relationship isn't working. 236 00:20:04,261 --> 00:20:08,020 Mom needs a man who'll control her and Dad needs someone younger. 237 00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:13,101 You both deserve some happiness. I think we all do. Amen to that. 238 00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:16,429 We should go to a motel with Dad. 239 00:20:16,324 --> 00:20:20,163 Our bags are packed. Mom, you're still part of our lives. 240 00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:23,161 We'll see you every other weekend. Call us any time. 241 00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:29,118 We've already discussed it. 242 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,760 I get full custody. 243 00:20:31,810 --> 00:20:36,360 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 20949

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