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1
00:00:13,994 --> 00:00:15,825
What are you looking at,
monkey boy?
2
00:00:15,896 --> 00:00:17,022
Ow!
3
00:00:17,097 --> 00:00:18,257
Ow! Ow! Reese!
4
00:00:18,332 --> 00:00:19,765
What are you doing?
5
00:00:19,833 --> 00:00:21,323
Help! Ow! Help!
6
00:00:21,401 --> 00:00:22,425
Mom!
7
00:00:22,502 --> 00:00:24,231
Cut it out. Cut it out.
8
00:00:24,304 --> 00:00:25,236
Ow! Help!
9
00:00:25,305 --> 00:00:26,329
It hurts! Ow!
10
00:00:26,406 --> 00:00:28,101
Knock it off, you little...
11
00:00:28,175 --> 00:00:29,699
Reese, what the heck are you doing?
12
00:00:29,776 --> 00:00:34,338
You can't leave that kid alone
for five minutes without picking on him!
13
00:00:34,414 --> 00:00:35,904
Reese:
I didn't do anything, Mom.
14
00:00:35,982 --> 00:00:37,574
I gave him that.
15
00:00:37,651 --> 00:00:41,087
? Yes, no, maybe ?
16
00:00:41,154 --> 00:00:43,622
? I don't know ?
17
00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:46,955
? Can you repeat the question? ?
18
00:00:47,027 --> 00:00:49,222
? You're not the boss of me now ?
19
00:00:49,296 --> 00:00:51,628
? You're not the boss of me now ?
20
00:00:51,698 --> 00:00:53,996
? You're not the boss of me now ?
21
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:56,058
? And you're not so big ?
22
00:00:56,136 --> 00:00:58,570
? You're not the boss of me now ?
23
00:00:58,638 --> 00:01:00,572
? You're not the boss of me now ?
24
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,074
? You're not the boss of me now ?
25
00:01:03,143 --> 00:01:05,873
? And you're not so big ?
26
00:01:05,946 --> 00:01:09,780
? Life is unfair. ?
27
00:01:14,955 --> 00:01:16,889
Honey, which juice don't I like--
28
00:01:16,957 --> 00:01:18,390
apple or grape?
29
00:01:18,458 --> 00:01:20,892
- You don't like either.
- Oh, right.
30
00:01:20,961 --> 00:01:23,486
Malcolm, what is all this stuff
from your teacher?
31
00:01:23,563 --> 00:01:25,997
That woman sends home
two or three fliers every day.
32
00:01:26,066 --> 00:01:27,328
She says she wants the parents...
33
00:01:27,401 --> 00:01:29,494
to be as involved as possible
with the children.
34
00:01:29,569 --> 00:01:32,163
At school?
It's the only break I get.
35
00:01:32,239 --> 00:01:35,003
What exactly is
''Personal Fulfillment Week''?
36
00:01:35,075 --> 00:01:36,542
Square dancing.
37
00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:38,976
That's right, square dancing.
38
00:01:39,045 --> 00:01:40,239
You should see it.
39
00:01:40,313 --> 00:01:42,247
The Krelboynes dance
on the tetherball courts...
40
00:01:42,315 --> 00:01:43,646
in front of the whole school.
41
00:01:43,717 --> 00:01:44,843
We laugh our asses off.
42
00:01:46,653 --> 00:01:47,449
Excuse me?
43
00:01:47,521 --> 00:01:48,453
Butts.
44
00:01:48,522 --> 00:01:49,887
We laugh our butts off.
45
00:01:51,391 --> 00:01:53,188
Open.
46
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:54,420
Swish.
47
00:01:54,494 --> 00:01:56,052
Spit.
48
00:01:56,129 --> 00:01:57,721
This tastes like crap.
49
00:01:57,798 --> 00:01:58,992
Reese is right.
50
00:01:59,065 --> 00:02:01,056
This class is turning me
into a total weirdo.
51
00:02:01,134 --> 00:02:02,123
You are not a weirdo.
52
00:02:02,202 --> 00:02:03,294
You are gifted.
53
00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:06,737
And if gifted kids are supposed to
square-dance, then you'll do it.
54
00:02:06,807 --> 00:02:08,069
Probably teaches you geometry.
55
00:02:09,209 --> 00:02:10,574
Don't forget to mail these bills.
56
00:02:10,644 --> 00:02:11,633
They're late.
57
00:02:11,711 --> 00:02:12,643
Two blues, one pink.
58
00:02:12,712 --> 00:02:13,644
We're doing better.
59
00:02:13,713 --> 00:02:14,771
Don't get cocky.
60
00:02:14,848 --> 00:02:17,442
They're hot until
I deposit my paycheck.
61
00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:19,212
You kids, let's get going.
62
00:02:19,286 --> 00:02:21,220
You don't want them
to do-si-do without you.
63
00:02:21,288 --> 00:02:22,721
That's it.
64
00:02:22,789 --> 00:02:25,815
For the sake of my manhood,
today I'm ditching school.
65
00:02:25,892 --> 00:02:28,087
Hey, why don't I drive you boys
to school today?
66
00:02:28,161 --> 00:02:29,526
Uh, that's okay, Dad.
67
00:02:29,596 --> 00:02:30,961
I don't mind walking.
68
00:02:31,031 --> 00:02:33,192
Oh, no, no, no.
I really want to.
69
00:02:33,266 --> 00:02:37,032
A chance to spend a few extra minutes
with my sons, enjoying their company...
70
00:02:37,103 --> 00:02:39,503
Honestly, son,
it'll be the highlight of my day.
71
00:02:39,573 --> 00:02:41,268
Come on.
72
00:02:41,341 --> 00:02:44,276
Great. Now I can't
even be mad at him.
73
00:02:47,481 --> 00:02:50,382
Aw, Stanley.
74
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:53,214
Let me show you how it's done.
75
00:02:53,286 --> 00:02:54,719
Uh-oh, eyes down.
76
00:03:03,363 --> 00:03:04,625
That was good.
77
00:03:04,698 --> 00:03:06,757
You didn't give them
any satisfaction.
78
00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:09,563
In another six months,
they'll be bored with you.
79
00:03:11,238 --> 00:03:13,934
Man ( on TV ):
...get out of this one.
80
00:03:14,007 --> 00:03:17,135
Patterson has just reversed...
81
00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:18,177
( Laughing )
82
00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:19,872
That's got to hurt.
83
00:03:19,946 --> 00:03:22,437
Mom was right.
84
00:03:22,516 --> 00:03:26,282
I do get some sick thrill
out of trouble.
85
00:03:28,455 --> 00:03:29,979
Ow!
86
00:03:30,056 --> 00:03:30,818
That skinny guy!
87
00:03:30,891 --> 00:03:31,983
Come on, get him!
88
00:03:32,058 --> 00:03:33,355
Commandant on the floor.
89
00:03:33,426 --> 00:03:35,690
Ten-hut!
90
00:03:42,569 --> 00:03:44,503
( Snarling )
91
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,907
I smell smoke.
92
00:03:48,975 --> 00:03:51,671
Who is responsible?
93
00:03:54,481 --> 00:03:55,539
Very well.
94
00:03:55,615 --> 00:03:58,049
We'll do it the hard way.
95
00:03:58,118 --> 00:03:59,710
Patton.
96
00:03:59,786 --> 00:04:01,686
( Growling )
97
00:04:04,824 --> 00:04:06,655
( Growling )
98
00:04:09,462 --> 00:04:11,726
( Barking )
99
00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:17,134
Francis, please lift up
your right foot.
100
00:04:23,476 --> 00:04:25,671
Son, you have the worst attitude...
101
00:04:25,745 --> 00:04:29,112
I've ever seen in 1 5 years
at this institution.
102
00:04:29,182 --> 00:04:32,845
You seem compelled to break every rule,
to flout every convention.
103
00:04:32,919 --> 00:04:37,515
You are never going to make it--
in the armed forces or anywhere else.
104
00:04:37,591 --> 00:04:41,652
Now, I was never fortunate
enough to serve in combat...
105
00:04:41,728 --> 00:04:44,094
but I do know what it requires.
106
00:04:44,164 --> 00:04:46,291
Look at this dog.
107
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:48,800
He is vicious, he is ungrateful...
108
00:04:48,868 --> 00:04:53,237
and yet even he understands
the importance of obedience.
109
00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:55,331
Do you hear what I am saying,
Francis?
110
00:04:55,408 --> 00:04:56,602
Yes, sir.
111
00:04:56,676 --> 00:04:58,769
I'll try to be more like
a Jack Russell terrier, sir.
112
00:05:00,947 --> 00:05:05,145
There will be no hot water
for this floor for the entire month.
113
00:05:05,218 --> 00:05:08,153
You can thank the cadet
after I leave.
114
00:05:10,523 --> 00:05:12,252
( Snarling )
115
00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:20,598
( Blow Landing )
116
00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:21,599
Francis:
Ow!
117
00:05:21,668 --> 00:05:25,468
Reese wiped his booger
on my lunch bag.
118
00:05:25,538 --> 00:05:27,335
What have we taught you
about snitching?
119
00:05:27,407 --> 00:05:29,307
''Only snitch when asked to snitch.''
120
00:05:29,376 --> 00:05:30,673
Good boy.
121
00:05:30,744 --> 00:05:33,269
So, looking forward to school?
122
00:05:33,346 --> 00:05:34,335
I guess.
123
00:05:34,414 --> 00:05:36,348
That's a shame.
124
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:39,749
'Cause we're not going to school.
125
00:05:39,819 --> 00:05:41,684
( Chuckling )
126
00:05:41,755 --> 00:05:43,484
Where are we going?
127
00:05:43,556 --> 00:05:45,990
Boys, I'm going to share
something with you...
128
00:05:46,059 --> 00:05:48,960
I hope you'll remember
for the rest of your lives.
129
00:05:49,029 --> 00:05:50,826
Now, I don't want
to spoil the surprise...
130
00:05:50,897 --> 00:05:53,388
but I've been planning this
for years.
131
00:05:53,466 --> 00:05:57,994
I just had to wait until you were
all old enough to appreciate it.
132
00:05:58,071 --> 00:05:59,698
Hookers?
133
00:05:59,773 --> 00:06:02,139
If it gets me out
of square dancing, fine.
134
00:06:02,208 --> 00:06:05,700
Just sit back
and enjoy the ride, boys.
135
00:06:05,779 --> 00:06:07,212
We're rebels.
136
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,510
We're wild men!
137
00:06:09,582 --> 00:06:11,049
( Cackling )
138
00:06:11,117 --> 00:06:12,141
Whoo!
139
00:06:12,218 --> 00:06:15,483
( ''Sukiyaki''Sung InJapanese )
140
00:06:25,632 --> 00:06:28,362
Where did I put
the damn paycheck?
141
00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:46,016
( Gasping )
142
00:06:46,086 --> 00:06:47,781
Yeah.
143
00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:50,015
Those guys are wimps.
144
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:52,957
That's not even half the size
of the one I gave you...
145
00:06:53,026 --> 00:06:54,789
just to get you out of riflery.
146
00:06:54,861 --> 00:06:57,421
Hey, thanks
for pulling them off me.
147
00:06:57,497 --> 00:06:58,486
I owe you one.
148
00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:00,863
One?
149
00:07:00,934 --> 00:07:05,303
Hey, you want to see
something very, very cool?
150
00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:09,798
Oh, boy, what have you done now?
151
00:07:11,711 --> 00:07:14,305
Francis:
Oh, isn't he beautiful?
152
00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:15,506
He only cost me $20.
153
00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:16,776
I'm calling him Otis.
154
00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:18,715
Did you listen
to anything Spangler said?
155
00:07:18,785 --> 00:07:22,118
You're already in enough trouble
as it is without bringing in a pet.
156
00:07:22,188 --> 00:07:24,247
Well, Spangler
has that oversized gerbil.
157
00:07:24,324 --> 00:07:26,485
And besides,
Otis is not a pet.
158
00:07:26,559 --> 00:07:28,288
Otis is a symbol.
159
00:07:28,361 --> 00:07:29,555
Of what?
160
00:07:29,629 --> 00:07:32,189
Of everything that is
beautiful in the world.
161
00:07:32,265 --> 00:07:33,562
Independence...
162
00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:34,964
free thought.
163
00:07:35,034 --> 00:07:37,468
I may be stuck here in
this militaristic loony bin...
164
00:07:37,537 --> 00:07:39,835
but at least some part of me
can stay connected...
165
00:07:39,906 --> 00:07:41,771
to the things
that give me my humanity.
166
00:07:41,841 --> 00:07:44,002
You're not going
to turn me in, are you?
167
00:07:44,077 --> 00:07:45,339
I don't know.
168
00:07:45,411 --> 00:07:48,403
On the one hand,
you're probably going to get caught...
169
00:07:48,481 --> 00:07:49,675
because you always do.
170
00:07:49,749 --> 00:07:52,013
Then, of course,
I'll be involved...
171
00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:54,679
even though I had
nothing to do with it.
172
00:07:54,754 --> 00:07:56,517
On the other hand...
173
00:07:57,957 --> 00:07:59,356
it's a snake.
174
00:07:59,425 --> 00:08:00,824
Good man!
175
00:08:00,894 --> 00:08:03,829
I think I'm starting
to bring out the rebel in you.
176
00:08:03,897 --> 00:08:04,761
Touching.
177
00:08:04,831 --> 00:08:06,093
Right.
178
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:07,098
Sorry.
179
00:08:07,167 --> 00:08:08,566
( Bell Ringing )
180
00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:27,443
Stock car races!
181
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,147
Oh, cool!
182
00:08:29,222 --> 00:08:30,246
That's right, boys.
183
00:08:30,323 --> 00:08:31,756
The real field of dreams--
184
00:08:31,825 --> 00:08:34,316
only with concrete
instead of all that grass.
185
00:08:34,394 --> 00:08:36,988
? I don't want to work... ?
186
00:08:37,063 --> 00:08:38,155
Here we go.
187
00:08:38,231 --> 00:08:39,493
Excuse us, please.
188
00:08:39,566 --> 00:08:40,863
Oh, boys, boys.
189
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:42,663
You see that blue car down in front?
190
00:08:42,735 --> 00:08:44,032
- Number 1 6?
- Yeah.
191
00:08:44,103 --> 00:08:45,661
That is Rusty Malcolm.
192
00:08:45,738 --> 00:08:48,707
Greatest man
in the history of the sport.
193
00:08:48,775 --> 00:08:50,333
Maybe the greatest man ever.
194
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:52,401
1 5 NASCAR titles.
195
00:08:52,478 --> 00:08:53,536
Six world records.
196
00:08:53,613 --> 00:08:55,911
Inventor of the in-car
urination system.
197
00:08:55,982 --> 00:08:57,449
The list is endless.
198
00:08:57,517 --> 00:09:01,476
And he came from nothing,
just like you boys.
199
00:09:01,554 --> 00:09:03,419
You see,
this is Rusty's last race ever.
200
00:09:03,489 --> 00:09:04,717
He's retiring.
201
00:09:04,791 --> 00:09:06,816
So, I wanted to share him
with you before he went...
202
00:09:06,893 --> 00:09:11,455
so that you can see for yourselves how
much you can accomplish in this world...
203
00:09:11,531 --> 00:09:13,590
with a little persistence
and determination.
204
00:09:13,666 --> 00:09:17,534
Did you read that article in People
about him getting a divorce?
205
00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:19,765
Shut your filthy mouth.
206
00:09:26,446 --> 00:09:28,505
You know, you were named
after Rusty, Malcolm.
207
00:09:28,581 --> 00:09:30,515
I was?
208
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:31,607
Yessiree, Bob.
209
00:09:31,684 --> 00:09:34,244
Took me two kids
to win that argument.
210
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,412
Announcer:
And there they go.
211
00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:38,984
Whoo!
212
00:09:40,493 --> 00:09:44,862
Gentlemen, start your excitement,
because here they come!
213
00:09:44,931 --> 00:09:46,193
( Whooping )
214
00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:50,134
He won!
215
00:09:50,203 --> 00:09:51,670
Rusty Malcolm won!
216
00:09:51,738 --> 00:09:52,966
No, sweetheart.
217
00:09:53,039 --> 00:09:54,700
That was just the pace lap.
218
00:09:54,774 --> 00:09:56,401
How many laps are there?
219
00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:57,773
Oh, hundreds.
220
00:09:57,844 --> 00:10:00,074
We've got four hours of this.
221
00:10:00,146 --> 00:10:01,738
Four hours?!
222
00:10:01,814 --> 00:10:02,940
Uh-huh.
223
00:10:03,016 --> 00:10:05,280
Do we at least get
to see any flaming wrecks?
224
00:10:05,351 --> 00:10:06,841
Reese, it's not about that.
225
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,684
See, it's about
strategy and technique.
226
00:10:09,756 --> 00:10:12,782
It's about the melding
of man and machine.
227
00:10:12,859 --> 00:10:15,419
The wrecks are just sort of a bonus.
228
00:10:15,495 --> 00:10:16,860
Dewey...
229
00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:19,330
you can keep track of the laps.
230
00:10:47,961 --> 00:10:50,191
Can we go get sodas?
231
00:10:50,263 --> 00:10:52,424
What? Already?
232
00:10:52,498 --> 00:10:53,863
Well, okay.
233
00:10:53,933 --> 00:10:56,902
Guess it can't be a special day
without sodas, huh?
234
00:10:56,970 --> 00:10:58,562
Here.
235
00:10:58,638 --> 00:11:00,401
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
236
00:11:00,473 --> 00:11:02,236
Get your dad a beer.
237
00:11:02,308 --> 00:11:03,935
Take my I.D.
238
00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:05,443
Come on, Rusty!
239
00:11:05,511 --> 00:11:08,446
( Vacuum Cleaner Running )
240
00:11:14,754 --> 00:11:16,517
Firecrackers.
241
00:11:16,589 --> 00:11:18,352
Malcolm.
242
00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:22,857
( Vacuum Cleaner Stops )
243
00:11:22,929 --> 00:11:24,362
( Chuckles )
244
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:26,193
I'm going to say Reese.
245
00:11:31,938 --> 00:11:35,704
Three rooms to go,
and already I have enough evidence...
246
00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:37,572
to ground them for life.
247
00:11:37,643 --> 00:11:38,735
Dewey, stay with us.
248
00:11:38,811 --> 00:11:39,869
You're going to get lost.
249
00:11:39,946 --> 00:11:41,038
No, I won't.
250
00:11:41,114 --> 00:11:43,378
Yes, you will.
You always do.
251
00:11:43,449 --> 00:11:44,711
You know you could help.
252
00:11:44,784 --> 00:11:45,716
I'm watching him.
253
00:11:45,785 --> 00:11:46,843
He's right over...
254
00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:51,218
Man, how does he do that?
255
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:52,257
Totally your fault!
256
00:11:52,325 --> 00:11:53,849
He was right in your eye line.
257
00:11:53,926 --> 00:11:55,621
You don't pay attention to anything!
258
00:11:55,695 --> 00:11:57,492
I pay attention.
259
00:11:57,563 --> 00:11:58,962
Score!
260
00:11:59,032 --> 00:12:01,626
What are you doing?
261
00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:03,669
( Muffled ):
Too slow.
262
00:12:03,736 --> 00:12:04,828
Come on.
263
00:12:04,904 --> 00:12:06,872
Let's just go find Dewey.
264
00:12:06,939 --> 00:12:08,099
This place sucks.
265
00:12:08,174 --> 00:12:09,505
It's hot, it stinks...
266
00:12:09,575 --> 00:12:12,237
nobody's T-shirts
cover their stomachs...
267
00:12:12,311 --> 00:12:14,336
and I'm bored out of my mind.
268
00:12:14,414 --> 00:12:15,676
Hey.
269
00:12:15,748 --> 00:12:17,443
Look at that.
270
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:18,779
Let's check it out.
271
00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:19,943
I don't know.
272
00:12:20,019 --> 00:12:21,577
It doesn't just say ''keep out.''
273
00:12:21,654 --> 00:12:22,916
It says ''forbidden.''
274
00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:24,980
And they wouldn't bother
making it ''forbidden''
275
00:12:25,058 --> 00:12:27,583
if it wasn't something totally bitchin'
on the other side.
276
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:30,254
Wow. I can't find
a flaw in his logic.
277
00:12:30,329 --> 00:12:31,421
Come on.
278
00:12:31,497 --> 00:12:34,432
What's the worst that could happen?
279
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,593
We didn't do anything!
280
00:12:36,669 --> 00:12:37,931
I'm a diabetic.
281
00:12:38,004 --> 00:12:39,096
I need insulin.
282
00:12:39,172 --> 00:12:40,764
Sit down!
283
00:12:42,275 --> 00:12:43,936
You are such an idiot!
284
00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:47,036
It actually was pretty bitchin'.
285
00:12:47,113 --> 00:12:50,048
And I'm totally getting
one of these for Christmas.
286
00:12:56,722 --> 00:12:58,314
( Doorbell Rings )
287
00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:00,325
What does the sign say?
288
00:13:00,393 --> 00:13:01,985
Woman:
''No soliciting.''
289
00:13:02,061 --> 00:13:03,995
Well, that includes Jesus.
290
00:13:04,063 --> 00:13:08,397
No, it's Caroline Miller,
Malcolm's teacher.
291
00:13:08,468 --> 00:13:10,698
I need to talk to you.
292
00:13:10,770 --> 00:13:13,534
Yeah, come on in.
293
00:13:14,974 --> 00:13:16,407
Oh, spring cleaning?
294
00:13:16,476 --> 00:13:17,738
Oh, ho.
295
00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:20,370
Yeah, I'm cleaning house, all right.
296
00:13:20,446 --> 00:13:22,380
I'm sorry to bother you at home...
297
00:13:22,448 --> 00:13:24,609
but when Malcolm didn't show up
for school today...
298
00:13:24,684 --> 00:13:25,616
What?
299
00:13:25,685 --> 00:13:27,084
Malcolm cut school today?
300
00:13:27,153 --> 00:13:29,519
Yeah. Actually, not just today.
301
00:13:29,589 --> 00:13:33,753
Now, your first reaction is probably
going to be one of understandable...
302
00:13:33,826 --> 00:13:35,691
Wait!
303
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:38,388
''Ditching.''
304
00:13:38,464 --> 00:13:40,523
We have a winner!
305
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,125
( Scraping Sound )
306
00:13:43,202 --> 00:13:45,796
Anyway, this week...
307
00:13:45,872 --> 00:13:48,397
we've been doing a lot of work
on folk movement...
308
00:13:48,474 --> 00:13:52,103
and I-I think that Malcolm may be
ditching because he's afraid that...
309
00:13:52,178 --> 00:13:55,443
well, that he may
not seem... graceful.
310
00:14:00,686 --> 00:14:02,381
Oh, you're serious.
311
00:14:02,455 --> 00:14:03,683
Yes, I'm serious.
312
00:14:03,756 --> 00:14:06,224
I think he may have body issues.
313
00:14:06,292 --> 00:14:07,418
( Chuckling )
314
00:14:07,493 --> 00:14:09,586
Look, honey,
you're probably very bright...
315
00:14:09,662 --> 00:14:11,823
but you've got a lot
to learn about boys.
316
00:14:11,898 --> 00:14:16,426
First off, they're able to think maybe
three minutes into the future...
317
00:14:16,502 --> 00:14:19,369
and it's our job to make sure that
future comes crashing down on them...
318
00:14:19,438 --> 00:14:21,167
within the time limit.
319
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,935
Otherwise,
they never learn anything.
320
00:14:23,009 --> 00:14:24,033
Help lift.
321
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:30,674
Eew! What is that?
322
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:32,183
Don't be such a baby.
323
00:14:32,251 --> 00:14:33,616
I'll get the tongs.
324
00:14:35,855 --> 00:14:37,914
I'll be Kevin.
325
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:39,252
You be Clyde.
326
00:14:39,325 --> 00:14:41,054
Think you can cry?
327
00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:42,788
No. I got to feel it.
328
00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:46,459
Ooh, I got an idea.
329
00:14:46,532 --> 00:14:47,794
No!
330
00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:49,129
Just follow my lead.
331
00:14:49,202 --> 00:14:50,829
No, Reese.
Whatever it is, no!
332
00:14:54,006 --> 00:14:59,308
Well, I guess you boys had some time
to think about what you've done.
333
00:14:59,378 --> 00:15:00,538
Yes, sir.
334
00:15:00,613 --> 00:15:04,105
Look, I, uh, used to be your age...
335
00:15:04,183 --> 00:15:06,981
and I understand how tempting
a place like that can be.
336
00:15:07,053 --> 00:15:10,489
And I guess you kids
really didn't do any major harm...
337
00:15:10,556 --> 00:15:12,387
so I've decided to let you off...
338
00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:13,857
You idiot!
339
00:15:16,062 --> 00:15:17,154
Open it!
340
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:18,254
It's locked!
341
00:15:19,899 --> 00:15:23,858
Okay, I think I can cry now.
342
00:15:23,936 --> 00:15:26,234
Announcer:
...And Rusty Malcolm...
343
00:15:26,305 --> 00:15:30,901
has retaken the lead
with only 1 00 laps to go.
344
00:15:41,787 --> 00:15:43,448
Rusty:
Great beverage work, Hal!
345
00:15:43,522 --> 00:15:44,955
My pleasure, Rusty!
346
00:15:45,024 --> 00:15:46,116
( Voice Echoing )
347
00:15:46,192 --> 00:15:48,422
Here comes Rusty Malcolm
into the pits.
348
00:15:48,494 --> 00:15:50,257
It's going to be four tires...
349
00:15:50,329 --> 00:15:52,593
Hey, how about that, boys?
350
00:15:52,665 --> 00:15:54,599
( Sighs )
351
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:57,568
Well, this just plain
hurts my feelings.
352
00:15:57,637 --> 00:15:59,070
Oh, man.
353
00:16:00,339 --> 00:16:01,271
Oh, ma...
354
00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:02,500
Stanley,
I'm sorry, I...
355
00:16:02,575 --> 00:16:03,769
Wait.
356
00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:07,142
I'm trying to see if I'm inspired
by its symbolic bid for freedom.
357
00:16:07,213 --> 00:16:08,578
No. I'm just really pissed.
358
00:16:08,648 --> 00:16:10,013
Okay, don't overreact.
359
00:16:10,082 --> 00:16:11,310
It's just a snake, right?
360
00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:13,409
So, it's got to be
around here somewhere.
361
00:16:13,486 --> 00:16:14,578
No big deal.
362
00:16:14,654 --> 00:16:15,746
( Dog Barking )
363
00:16:15,821 --> 00:16:17,083
( Whimpering )
364
00:16:17,156 --> 00:16:19,090
Spangler:
Oh, my God! Patton, no!
365
00:16:19,158 --> 00:16:21,558
( Two Gunshots )
366
00:16:21,627 --> 00:16:25,324
Hi, Mom. Uh, I was just thinking
about how much I missed you guys...
367
00:16:25,398 --> 00:16:28,993
and... I was thinking I should come
for a visit, you know, like today.
368
00:16:29,068 --> 00:16:31,502
There's a flight leaving in half an hour
and I already booked it...
369
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:33,231
so I just need
your credit card number to...
370
00:16:33,306 --> 00:16:34,739
Well, honey, here's the thing.
371
00:16:34,807 --> 00:16:38,402
Right now you are actually better off
being as far away from me as possible.
372
00:16:38,477 --> 00:16:39,466
But...
373
00:16:39,545 --> 00:16:41,012
You got to trust me
on this one, Francis...
374
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,548
or, uh, should I say...
375
00:16:43,616 --> 00:16:46,380
''Olaf Mortenson''
of Wheatville, Montana?
376
00:16:47,486 --> 00:16:49,044
( Dial Tone )
377
00:16:49,121 --> 00:16:52,955
You know, I have learned more
in two hours with you...
378
00:16:53,025 --> 00:16:55,926
than I have in six years of teaching.
379
00:16:55,995 --> 00:16:57,929
( Sighs )
So, did your life...
380
00:16:57,997 --> 00:17:00,124
turn out anything at all
like you planned?
381
00:17:00,199 --> 00:17:01,791
Oh, God, no.
382
00:17:01,867 --> 00:17:03,664
Oh, when I was a girl...
383
00:17:03,736 --> 00:17:07,069
I had all these crazy,
romantic dreams.
384
00:17:07,139 --> 00:17:10,802
I wanted to be a blackjack dealer
in an Indian reservation.
385
00:17:10,876 --> 00:17:12,810
Didn't work out.
386
00:17:12,878 --> 00:17:14,140
Stubby thumbs.
387
00:17:14,213 --> 00:17:17,273
Well, at least you have your home
and your family.
388
00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:21,116
All I come home to every night
are three howling cats and... Bob.
389
00:17:21,187 --> 00:17:22,279
Who's Bob?
390
00:17:22,355 --> 00:17:24,152
My shower head.
391
00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:33,630
Do you have anything stronger?
392
00:17:33,699 --> 00:17:35,633
I'm way ahead of you.
393
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:39,137
...and it looks like Rusty Malcolm
will win his final race!
394
00:17:39,205 --> 00:17:40,934
Rusty!
395
00:17:41,006 --> 00:17:44,498
I can't believe
they're missing this.
396
00:17:44,577 --> 00:17:47,546
Rusty Malcolm maintains the lead
high off the third turn...
397
00:17:47,613 --> 00:17:51,242
( Tires Screeching )
398
00:17:51,317 --> 00:17:53,581
What...?
399
00:17:53,652 --> 00:17:55,586
Oh, for the love of God!
400
00:17:55,654 --> 00:17:57,679
What happened? What happened?
401
00:17:58,991 --> 00:18:01,585
Rusty do something?
402
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:02,922
Missed it!
403
00:18:02,995 --> 00:18:04,826
What'd he do?
404
00:18:04,897 --> 00:18:07,491
( Metallic Squeaking )
405
00:18:07,566 --> 00:18:13,505
Men... a terrible tragedy
has befallen us.
406
00:18:13,572 --> 00:18:17,474
At approximately 1 7 00 hours...
407
00:18:17,543 --> 00:18:24,642
our beloved Patton was set upon
by a serpent and devoured.
408
00:18:24,717 --> 00:18:28,244
I, myself, fired a few rounds
as it slithered away...
409
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,289
but, hampered by a lack
of depth perception...
410
00:18:31,357 --> 00:18:33,086
my efforts were useless.
411
00:18:33,159 --> 00:18:34,490
( Sniffles )
412
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,587
Now...
after an incident such as this...
413
00:18:38,664 --> 00:18:41,428
certain questions arise.
414
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,559
Leaving aside for the moment...
415
00:18:43,636 --> 00:18:48,005
why God feels the need to
take away everything that I love...
416
00:18:48,073 --> 00:18:53,010
that leaves us with the matter
of who is responsible.
417
00:18:55,314 --> 00:18:58,408
Can you explain that, Francis?
418
00:18:58,484 --> 00:19:01,920
Yes, sir. I believe you lost that finger
trying to start the school lawn mower.
419
00:19:01,987 --> 00:19:03,750
What is in the hand?
420
00:19:03,823 --> 00:19:05,882
They appear to be Raisinettes, sir.
421
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:09,553
They are snake droppings,
found in your footlocker.
422
00:19:09,628 --> 00:19:12,597
Now, what do you
have to say for yourself?
423
00:19:12,665 --> 00:19:16,931
Sir, I'm obviously the victim
of an elaborate conspiracy to frame me.
424
00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:18,401
It's just too perfect, sir.
425
00:19:18,471 --> 00:19:21,736
Two months!
426
00:19:21,807 --> 00:19:23,570
No hot water, no television...
427
00:19:23,642 --> 00:19:26,805
and an 8:00 p.m. curfew
for the entire academy!
428
00:19:29,148 --> 00:19:33,608
Feel free to thank the cadet
after I leave.
429
00:19:37,122 --> 00:19:38,555
Could I ask one favor?
430
00:19:38,624 --> 00:19:41,491
Send a picture to my mom
with ''I told you so'' written across it.
431
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,460
Yeah! Whoo!
432
00:19:44,864 --> 00:19:45,922
Way to go, man.
433
00:19:45,998 --> 00:19:46,987
What?
434
00:19:47,066 --> 00:19:48,897
We hated that yappy, little rat.
435
00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:50,629
Let's hear it for Francis, you guys!
436
00:19:50,703 --> 00:19:51,635
( Cheering )
437
00:19:57,076 --> 00:19:59,909
This is an improvement, right?
438
00:19:59,979 --> 00:20:01,241
Reese!
439
00:20:01,313 --> 00:20:02,905
Rusty Malcolm wins the stock car...
440
00:20:02,982 --> 00:20:05,644
Malcolm!
441
00:20:05,718 --> 00:20:06,980
( Grunts )
442
00:20:07,052 --> 00:20:08,019
Hi, Dad.
443
00:20:08,087 --> 00:20:09,987
Hi. Where are your brothers?
444
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:15,786
Oh, geez.
445
00:20:15,861 --> 00:20:17,761
Come on.
446
00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:21,789
Uh... what seems to be the trouble here,
Officer, uh... Karl?
447
00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:23,767
These your boys?
448
00:20:23,836 --> 00:20:26,134
Yes, sir, that they are.
Couldn't be prouder of them.
449
00:20:26,205 --> 00:20:29,663
These are two of the worst kids
I have ever encountered in my life.
450
00:20:29,742 --> 00:20:31,505
And I work the state fair.
451
00:20:31,577 --> 00:20:33,670
Really?
See, that must be fascinating--
452
00:20:33,746 --> 00:20:36,681
Seeing people from all over,
the different cultures...
453
00:20:36,749 --> 00:20:39,741
I don't want to be a hard case here,
but these kids physically attacked me.
454
00:20:39,818 --> 00:20:42,013
Plus, they completely destroyed
a $300 pneumatic drill...
455
00:20:42,087 --> 00:20:44,453
which someone's going to pay for.
456
00:20:44,523 --> 00:20:46,923
Well, this all sounds pretty serious.
457
00:20:46,992 --> 00:20:49,290
But don't you worry, Officer Karl.
458
00:20:49,361 --> 00:20:51,921
They are going to hear all about it
when I get them home.
459
00:20:51,997 --> 00:20:55,728
I'm just sorry that they had to put you
through all of this. That's not fair.
460
00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:58,361
And I, uh, see,
I fully intend to pay for...
461
00:20:58,437 --> 00:20:59,904
( Groans )
462
00:20:59,972 --> 00:21:01,064
Clyde, Kevin!
463
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:02,164
Get to the car!
464
00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:03,299
( Moaning )
465
00:21:03,375 --> 00:21:04,467
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
466
00:21:04,543 --> 00:21:07,512
Ooh!
467
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:09,377
( Chuckling )
468
00:21:09,448 --> 00:21:10,710
Okay.
469
00:21:10,783 --> 00:21:12,375
All right, men.
470
00:21:12,451 --> 00:21:15,978
Well, I hope you've all
learned something today, huh?
471
00:21:16,055 --> 00:21:19,684
I learned my dad is actually
capable of doing something cool.
472
00:21:19,758 --> 00:21:22,818
I'm not saying violence is cool,
but that was cool!
473
00:21:22,895 --> 00:21:25,227
I always wondered where we got it from.
474
00:21:25,297 --> 00:21:28,323
Program... tickets...
475
00:21:29,969 --> 00:21:31,231
Huh.
476
00:21:31,303 --> 00:21:32,861
Your mother's paycheck.
477
00:21:32,938 --> 00:21:36,772
Now, boys, remember,
as far as your mom knows...
478
00:21:36,842 --> 00:21:40,278
I have been at work all day.
479
00:21:40,346 --> 00:21:41,278
( Laughing )
480
00:21:41,347 --> 00:21:42,609
Okay, go on.
481
00:21:42,681 --> 00:21:44,615
All right.
482
00:21:54,226 --> 00:21:58,185
Well, at least she doesn't know
I skipped school all week.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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