All language subtitles for Mad About You s03e18 Purseona.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:08,033 Hey, am I losing all my hair? 2 00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,367 No. Seriously. 3 00:00:10,934 --> 00:00:12,434 Yeah. 4 00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:13,934 Seriously. 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,434 Just a little. 6 00:00:16,634 --> 00:00:18,200 Seriously. 7 00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:19,567 No, not at all. 8 00:00:19,634 --> 00:00:21,033 There you go. 9 00:00:32,734 --> 00:00:36,601 * Tell me why I love you like I do 10 00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:41,033 * Tell me who can stop my heart as much as you 11 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:44,801 * Tell me all your secrets and I'll tell you most of mine 12 00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:48,934 * They say nobody's perfect Well, that's really true this time 13 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,934 * I don't have the answers, I don't have a plan 14 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,367 * All I have is you 15 00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:56,467 * So, darling, help me understand 16 00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,367 * What we do 17 00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:00,434 * You can whisper in my ear 18 00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:02,100 * Where we go 19 00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:04,701 * Who knows what happens after here 20 00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:06,367 * Let's take each other's hand 21 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:10,400 * As we jump into the final frontier 22 00:01:10,467 --> 00:01:13,300 * I'm mad about you, baby 23 00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,534 * Yeah! 24 00:01:15,601 --> 00:01:18,167 * I'm mad about you 25 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,701 All right, tomorrow. What do you want to start with at the presentation? 26 00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,434 The print campaign or the radio spots? 27 00:01:30,501 --> 00:01:32,400 Either one. All right, print. 28 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,667 To start? 29 00:01:34,734 --> 00:01:36,801 Fine. Radio. It's up to you. 30 00:01:36,868 --> 00:01:38,434 All right, this is not gonna all fit. 31 00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:39,601 Keep trying. 32 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:40,901 How's this? 33 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,601 No. 34 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,100 See, I can take my shaving kit, 35 00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:46,367 but then I can't take my turtleneck. Keep trying. 36 00:01:46,434 --> 00:01:48,367 Where are you going? To the Yukon. 37 00:01:48,434 --> 00:01:50,000 Fine. Don't tell me. 38 00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:53,634 No, seriously a filming a dogsled race for ESPN. 39 00:01:54,801 --> 00:01:56,601 Ta-da! No. 40 00:01:58,267 --> 00:01:59,868 Hey, where's my passport? 41 00:01:59,934 --> 00:02:01,734 I put it in the safe deposit box. Why? 42 00:02:01,801 --> 00:02:03,701 So we can find it when we need it. 43 00:02:03,767 --> 00:02:05,968 But that's in the bank, and I'm here 44 00:02:06,033 --> 00:02:08,100 and I need it. See how it's not working? 45 00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:10,133 You don't really need it. It's Canada. 46 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,367 I need it if I'm gonna hire a crew. 47 00:02:12,434 --> 00:02:13,501 Is that true? Yes. 48 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,133 Really? 49 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,767 If I were going to make something up, why--why would it be that? 50 00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:18,767 Okay, fine. I'll pick it up in the morning, 51 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:21,367 I'll exchange your money to Canadian. I'll meet you back here. 52 00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:23,501 We'll pick up Fran's car. I'll take you to the airport, 53 00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:26,000 say goodbye, and I'll be back in time for our 5:00 meeting. 54 00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,667 Okay. 55 00:02:27,734 --> 00:02:30,133 But if I find out you were lollygagging in there... 56 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,968 You know, I can handle this meeting alone... 57 00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:33,300 I will be there. 58 00:02:35,767 --> 00:02:38,067 No. 59 00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:40,901 What's this? Your resume. Memorize it. 60 00:02:40,968 --> 00:02:43,334 I was personal assistant to J.D. Salinger? 61 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,734 Let them try to check. 62 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,834 James, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. 63 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,334 Fly safe. 64 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,100 This is perfect. 65 00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:52,467 I don't even know why I'm bothering. 66 00:02:52,534 --> 00:02:53,567 You know they're not going to hire me. 67 00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:55,667 Oh, there's the spirit. 68 00:02:55,734 --> 00:02:57,200 Hey, baby, where are my gloves? 69 00:02:57,267 --> 00:02:58,667 Which gloves? My gloves. 70 00:02:58,734 --> 00:03:00,434 The ones you said, "Why are you buying those gloves?" 71 00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:01,801 Remember, we were at Klarik's? 72 00:03:01,868 --> 00:03:03,000 LISA: The plaid ones? Yeah. 73 00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,400 The ones with the leather palms? Yeah. 74 00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:05,634 And the fur inside? Yeah. 75 00:03:05,701 --> 00:03:06,968 Have you seen them? No. 76 00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:09,934 Did you--you lend her my gloves? 77 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,567 It was snowing. All she had was a newspaper. 78 00:03:12,634 --> 00:03:14,400 Those are my Yukon gloves. 79 00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:16,934 Your Yukon gloves? My Yukon gloves. 80 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,334 Remember I specifically said, 81 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,033 "Who knows, maybe someday I'll go to the Yukon"? 82 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,434 Guess what? Now I'm going, I'm bare-handed. 83 00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:25,400 Will you please drop them off on the way to your interview tomorrow? 84 00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:27,434 What time is my interview? 10:30. 85 00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,400 I don't think so. 86 00:03:29,467 --> 00:03:30,834 All right. After your interview? 87 00:03:30,901 --> 00:03:32,667 Whatever. Can I go now? 88 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,567 I promised Harriet I'd look at her new macaw... 89 00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:36,167 Oh, gee, is that today? 90 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,400 Do you need cab fare? 91 00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,400 I'll take the subway. Not with my suit. 92 00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:42,100 Oh, please, I have PMS and a stun gun. 93 00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:43,567 Who's gonna bother me? 94 00:03:43,634 --> 00:03:45,467 Just take some tokens. 95 00:03:45,534 --> 00:03:48,133 I can take both boots but then I can't take my parka. 96 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,367 Keep trying. 97 00:03:49,434 --> 00:03:53,701 Who put this in my purse? That's mine. 98 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,667 All right, I'm gonna call you first thing in the morning. 99 00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:58,167 Okay. But not too early. Here, here, here. 100 00:03:58,234 --> 00:04:00,100 PAUL: All right. Here's the problem. 101 00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:01,834 I can take my parka and then I can't take anything else. 102 00:04:03,267 --> 00:04:04,534 Seriously. 103 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,734 Okay. But can you pee standing up? 104 00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:28,033 You know, I had such a great plan. It was all planned out. 105 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,634 I was going to land in Canada. 106 00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:31,834 I was gonna get to the hotel, take a little nap. 107 00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:33,667 I'd nap, I'd wake up, shower, shave, 108 00:04:33,734 --> 00:04:35,934 still get there in plenty of time for the opening ceremonies. 109 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,133 You can still do that. 110 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,501 No, because I'm gonna miss my plane. 111 00:04:38,567 --> 00:04:40,167 She will be here. 112 00:04:40,234 --> 00:04:42,601 Just forget the gloves. Forget the gloves. Let's go. 113 00:04:42,667 --> 00:04:44,067 Okay. 114 00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:46,634 Maybe her interview went so well they started her today. 115 00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:48,234 Yeah, that's probably it. 116 00:04:50,534 --> 00:04:51,934 Hey. 117 00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:54,300 Hey? 118 00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:56,167 Yeah. 119 00:04:56,234 --> 00:04:59,167 All right, did you bring my gloves? Mmm, sort of. 120 00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:00,767 Excuse me why do you look like this? 121 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,501 Like what? What does that mean, "sort of"? 122 00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:04,801 Tell me you didn't go to your interview like that. 123 00:05:04,868 --> 00:05:06,801 It wasn't a beauty contest. 124 00:05:06,868 --> 00:05:08,701 Can I have my gloves? I'm looking. 125 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:12,000 Do you know how hard I worked to set this thing up for you? 126 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:13,167 I went... Quit that. 127 00:05:13,234 --> 00:05:14,634 Can I have my gloves, please? 128 00:05:14,701 --> 00:05:16,367 They have a dental plan. 129 00:05:16,434 --> 00:05:19,067 My teeth are fine. Look. What is that? 130 00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:21,767 What? That. That. That right there. 131 00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:23,367 That. 132 00:05:23,434 --> 00:05:27,167 Oh, he made me wait and so there was a Danish on his desk. 133 00:05:27,234 --> 00:05:29,200 So I just, you know... Gloves, gloves, gloves, gloves. 134 00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:32,534 I'm looking. Here. 135 00:05:32,601 --> 00:05:34,701 What... These--These are not my gloves. 136 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,133 Uh-huh. 137 00:05:36,734 --> 00:05:37,801 Uh-uh. 138 00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:41,868 All right, I lent them to Troy. 139 00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:43,667 Who is Troy? 140 00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:44,767 You never listen to me. 141 00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:45,868 You ate his Danish? 142 00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:47,234 I can't direct in these. 143 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,234 I got to point to Teamsters. 144 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:51,501 At least I brought something. I think that deserves a little credit. 145 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:54,701 You just ate the man's Danish? 146 00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:56,734 You want a little credit? Here's your credit. 147 00:05:56,801 --> 00:05:59,067 Use your imagination. 148 00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:00,534 You two having a fight? What? 149 00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:02,133 You're awfully crabby. 150 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,601 You know what? Forget it. That's it. Live your life. 151 00:06:04,667 --> 00:06:06,067 You're you. I'm me. 152 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,000 I'm sick of trying to fix you. Fine. 153 00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,334 I mean it. I think that's great. 154 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,767 Fine. Great. Talk to you tomorrow. 155 00:06:11,834 --> 00:06:14,467 These are going to command a lot of respect. 156 00:06:14,534 --> 00:06:17,601 Who's directing? Mitten boy. 157 00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:20,100 Is he good? Well, he's mitten boy. 158 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:22,200 And the nominees are... All right, all right. 159 00:06:22,267 --> 00:06:23,467 ...mitten boy... All right, all right, 160 00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:24,868 I will owe you for the rest of my life. 161 00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:26,734 Just please don't hark me about this. 162 00:06:26,801 --> 00:06:28,067 All right. You know what? Give me my stuff now. Give me my stuff 163 00:06:28,133 --> 00:06:30,067 and let's go get Fran's car, please. Fine. 164 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,434 (SQUEAKING) What is this? 165 00:06:33,501 --> 00:06:35,534 (STAMMERING) I don't know. It's not mine. 166 00:06:35,601 --> 00:06:37,200 Well, it ain't mine. 167 00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:39,133 Oh, my God. What? 168 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,801 She took my purse. 169 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,434 Oh, well, that figures... With your passport in it. 170 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:45,634 Hey! 171 00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:47,234 JAMIE: Lisa! 172 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,834 PAUL: Where did she go? I don't know. 173 00:06:48,901 --> 00:06:50,634 Great. I'm gonna miss Canada now. 174 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:51,767 We will find her. 175 00:06:51,834 --> 00:06:53,200 We don't even know which way she went. 176 00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:54,734 Just look at this. Look at this. What? 177 00:06:54,801 --> 00:06:56,767 Pistachio shells. 178 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,167 Still moist. 179 00:06:59,868 --> 00:07:01,534 Come on, follow them. Follow them. 180 00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:07,300 This is good. We're like Hansel and Gretel but with nuts. 181 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,200 (MAN CHATTERING ON PA) 182 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:19,167 Ah! 183 00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:25,033 PAUL: There's a pistachio. 184 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,667 All right, there's one. 185 00:07:27,601 --> 00:07:29,267 And there's one. 186 00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:31,400 Here we go. Here's a whole bunch. 187 00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:35,467 Ow! May I say "ow"? 188 00:07:35,534 --> 00:07:37,000 What did you do? 189 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:39,067 I couldn't even explain it right now. 190 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:41,033 Give me a token give me a token, please. 191 00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:48,100 Come on, come on, come on. 192 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,767 She doesn't have any. Give me some money. 193 00:07:49,834 --> 00:07:52,000 It's all in your purse. Hold this. 194 00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:56,634 Come on, come on, come on. Wait, wait, wait. She's got change. 195 00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:06,767 1, 2, 196 00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:09,901 3... 197 00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:13,501 4... MAN: What the hell? 198 00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:15,634 We're not enjoying this either. 199 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:42,334 MAN ON PA: 72nd Street. Next stop is 72nd Street. 200 00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:46,000 Gum? 201 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,868 I'm hungry. 202 00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,868 Where are we even going? Uptown. 203 00:08:56,934 --> 00:08:59,400 Good. 80% of the country is uptown. 204 00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:01,601 What? Did she have, like, an appointment book in there or something? 205 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,701 I'm telling you she's probably just going home to mope. Are you sure? 206 00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:07,067 Trust me. We'll get to her apartment, exchange purses 207 00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,400 and we'll get you to the airport. 208 00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,801 She doesn't even have, like, a stick of gum in here. 209 00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:12,601 Let me look at that, please. 210 00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:14,968 Oh! 211 00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:16,834 You--You look. 212 00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:22,667 Help an old man. Spare change, ma'am. 213 00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,834 (MAN CHATTERING ON PA) 214 00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:33,133 Her apartment is two blocks away. 215 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,901 We'll run in, we'll run out. 216 00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:36,067 You'll be on your way. 217 00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:37,434 We don't even know she's there. 218 00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:39,934 She's there. She's there. Oh, God. 219 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,434 What? She's not there. 220 00:09:42,501 --> 00:09:44,701 How do you know? I found her appointment book. 221 00:09:46,801 --> 00:09:49,167 Thursday, 1:00, Dr. Wallach. 222 00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:51,334 Who is Dr. Wallach? Her shrink. 223 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,033 Why would Lisa need a shrink? 224 00:09:57,634 --> 00:09:59,667 Ow! Ow! Ow! 225 00:10:04,801 --> 00:10:06,934 Oh, good, someone's in there. 226 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,734 Wait, wait, wait. What if it's not Lisa? 227 00:10:14,801 --> 00:10:16,601 I can't hear a thing. 228 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,701 Well? 229 00:10:28,767 --> 00:10:30,634 I can hear people eating egg salad at the beach. 230 00:10:32,868 --> 00:10:34,000 Well? 231 00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,501 I'm not sure. 232 00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:38,968 Is your sister obsessed with Glenn Ford? 233 00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,234 She very well could be. 234 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:42,901 Well, what do you want to do? Knock. 235 00:10:42,968 --> 00:10:44,267 You knock. It's your passport. 236 00:10:44,334 --> 00:10:46,167 It's your sister. Oh, God. 237 00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:48,567 Excuse me. Hi, I'm so sorry. 238 00:10:48,634 --> 00:10:49,701 Is it her? It's not her. 239 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:51,467 Sorry. 240 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,033 Sorry. Please go on now. 241 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,701 You were saying about Pocketful of Miracles... 242 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,000 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 243 00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:57,434 I'm sorry. Sorry, it's us again. 244 00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:58,934 I'm in a session. I understand. 245 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,567 We're looking for your last session. 246 00:11:00,634 --> 00:11:02,334 Well, that person just left. 247 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,267 Well, we figured that. We're just wondering if you know where she went. 248 00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:05,634 Why? JAMIE: Because we need to know. 249 00:11:05,701 --> 00:11:06,767 Why? Because we do. 250 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:07,934 Why? Because we do, okay? 251 00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:11,901 Oh, you must be Jamie. 252 00:11:13,534 --> 00:11:15,000 Yes, yes, she is. 253 00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:17,767 See, she has my passport and we really need to find her. 254 00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:20,300 So if you could just tell us where she... How did you know who I was? 255 00:11:20,367 --> 00:11:22,000 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to... 256 00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:24,100 See, I--I have a flight to catch... "Oh, you must be Jamie." 257 00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,968 What is that supposed to mean? 258 00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,400 I'm shooting a thing for ESPN. 259 00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:28,968 Did she say something about me? 260 00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:30,901 Okay, actually, it's ESPN 2, if you want to... 261 00:11:30,968 --> 00:11:32,667 I'm sorry, but as you can see... 262 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:35,267 No, we're not asking you to tell us how she feels about where she went. 263 00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:36,634 We just want to know where she went. 264 00:11:36,701 --> 00:11:38,601 If you could just shut the door. 265 00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,901 Maybe you could tell us without telling her. 266 00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,534 You know how you people do that all the time? 267 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:44,667 You give a clue, you guide us there, let us find it ourselves. 268 00:11:44,734 --> 00:11:47,200 She went to Klarik's to replace her gloves. Okay? 269 00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:49,367 Something like that. Thank you very much. 270 00:11:49,434 --> 00:11:51,300 "Oh, you must be Jamie." 271 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,033 Oh, I'm so sorry. 272 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,934 Now where were we... Sorry again. 273 00:11:58,033 --> 00:11:59,367 If I can... Can I just use your phone for one second? 274 00:11:59,434 --> 00:12:00,534 I am not gonna make my flight. 275 00:12:00,601 --> 00:12:03,934 I just gotta really apologize. 276 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,400 Do you understand what I'm doing here? 277 00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:07,567 Yes, yes, absolutely. Very familiar with the thing. 278 00:12:07,634 --> 00:12:09,968 I'll just... I'll be very fast. Look, see, I'm almost done. 279 00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,367 She blames me, doesn't she? 280 00:12:11,434 --> 00:12:12,934 If you'd like to arrange an appointment. 281 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,934 Hi, I'm on flight 185 at 3:00. 282 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,567 I need to push it back. 283 00:12:16,634 --> 00:12:19,868 Uh, yeah, that's Buchman, Paul. Thank you. 284 00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:21,133 Did she tell you about the prom? 285 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,000 PAUL: 4:15, that will be great. 286 00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:26,100 Now is that an aisle? I'm not the one who told her to rent a horse. 287 00:12:26,167 --> 00:12:28,467 Because I would prefer the aisle. 288 00:12:28,534 --> 00:12:30,367 I can fit you in early next week. 289 00:12:30,434 --> 00:12:32,300 PAUL: Oh, great. Thank you very much. 290 00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,667 Sorry again. Thank you. 291 00:12:36,634 --> 00:12:37,968 (SIGHING) 292 00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:40,834 Let's see what we can learn from this situation. 293 00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:42,601 Wow, really last time. 294 00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,501 Okay. I... 295 00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:45,968 Could we just borrow a couple of bucks for the subway? 296 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,100 Big favor to ask, no question about it. 297 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,067 It's just that we have been... 298 00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,234 Thanks. 299 00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:05,033 Cool. 300 00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:29,100 Do you have a tissue? No. 301 00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:35,067 All right. Fine. 302 00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:37,300 Oh. 303 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,601 (BLOWING NOSE) 304 00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:43,300 (COUGHING) 305 00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:46,501 What? 306 00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:48,234 Nothing. 307 00:13:50,601 --> 00:13:51,901 So if I get on the 4:15... 308 00:13:51,968 --> 00:13:54,334 I can land in Canada, get to the hotel. 309 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,133 I can shower, I shave, forget the nap. 310 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,667 I can still... I can make it in time for opening ceremonies. 311 00:13:59,734 --> 00:14:02,234 Except for you know what? I ain't making no 4:15. 312 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,100 Please don't blame her. Oh, I don't. 313 00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:06,167 Oh, really? I blame you. 314 00:14:06,234 --> 00:14:07,334 Oh, it's her fault. 315 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,767 You gave her the bag. She took it. 316 00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:11,467 I'm starving. 317 00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,601 Hey, maybe you can borrow Ira's passport. 318 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:19,100 Well, there's a bad idea. 319 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:20,400 Why? 320 00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:22,734 'Cause, dopey, I'll end up in jail. 321 00:14:22,801 --> 00:14:26,133 So what. It's Canada. They're nice. Not the jails. 322 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,000 You ever heard stories about Canadian jails? No. 323 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,234 Oh, they're the worst jails of all the jails. What stories? 324 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,734 I heard stories. Fine. Give me one story. 325 00:14:32,801 --> 00:14:34,133 What, remember Midnight Express? 326 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,067 All right, that was Turkey and they were smuggling drugs. 327 00:14:37,133 --> 00:14:40,234 Not originally. They changed it for the movie. 328 00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,968 Don't worry about it. You're going to make it. 329 00:14:42,033 --> 00:14:43,968 Yeah. I'm gonna make... What is this? 330 00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:45,767 What? This. 331 00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:48,267 A horseshoe. Why does your sister carry a horseshoe? 332 00:14:48,334 --> 00:14:49,601 (ELECTRICITY SURGING) For luck. 333 00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:50,968 (TRAIN SQUEALING TO A HALT) 334 00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:53,868 PAUL: Aren't we lucky? 335 00:14:57,767 --> 00:14:58,834 Hi. 336 00:14:58,901 --> 00:15:00,968 Welcome to Klarik's. 337 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,434 They make me say that. 338 00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:06,501 I need some gloves. How much are these? 339 00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:07,834 Got me. 340 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,400 Ow! 341 00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:11,934 Are you okay? 342 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,901 I hate that. 343 00:15:13,968 --> 00:15:15,467 You got a file or something? 344 00:15:15,534 --> 00:15:17,567 Oh, I don't think I... 345 00:15:18,734 --> 00:15:21,601 Oh. Oh, yeah, I do. 346 00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:23,834 Thanks. 347 00:15:23,901 --> 00:15:24,901 (SIGHING) 348 00:15:24,968 --> 00:15:26,634 You ever have one of those weeks? 349 00:15:26,701 --> 00:15:28,834 Yeah, it started 12 years ago. 350 00:15:28,901 --> 00:15:31,968 This morning I woke up, my carpet was gone. 351 00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:34,501 Oh, you think that's bad. I had a job interview this morning. 352 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,100 Oh, any luck? Good Danish. 353 00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:39,033 Yeah. 354 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:41,234 You know, I think they might be hiring here. 355 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,434 You want me to write down the name of the personnel guy? 356 00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:45,000 Cool. 357 00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:46,467 You got a pen? 358 00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:47,767 Um... 359 00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:50,067 I don't think I... 360 00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,834 Oh, hey, look at that! 361 00:15:52,901 --> 00:15:55,000 (AIRPLANE FLYING OVERHEAD) 362 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,701 Hey, there's goes my flight. Hey, can I get some peanuts and a Sprite? 363 00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,834 All right, come on. 364 00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:12,701 Next. 365 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,968 Hey, this isn't my purse. 366 00:16:37,701 --> 00:16:39,701 Welcome to Klarik's. We're looking for a woman who... 367 00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:42,000 She may have been here today buying gloves. 368 00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,267 Let me see, buying gloves. 369 00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:45,534 She's 5'7" and a half. 370 00:16:45,601 --> 00:16:47,467 128 pounds, chestnut hair. 371 00:16:47,534 --> 00:16:49,567 She has a little mole on her left cheek. Have you seen her? 372 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,901 Actually, I sent someone like that 373 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,033 over to personnel about a half an hour ago. 374 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,634 Did she go? Yes. 375 00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:56,267 Willingly? Yes. 376 00:16:56,334 --> 00:16:57,534 That's not her. That could be her. 377 00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,234 For how much? Come on. 378 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,601 Thank you, please come again. 379 00:17:06,334 --> 00:17:07,634 Next. 380 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:13,667 Resume. 381 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,300 J. D. Salinger, huh? 382 00:17:22,367 --> 00:17:23,734 Don't ask me where he lives. 383 00:17:24,801 --> 00:17:26,367 No department store experience. 384 00:17:26,434 --> 00:17:28,334 Not yet. Well, I'm sorry. 385 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,501 But we're only looking for... 386 00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:31,200 Hey, is this your dog? Yeah. 387 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,267 This is Murray. 388 00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:38,234 Aw! 389 00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:42,601 Oh, geez. 390 00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:44,067 Try in there. Try in there. 391 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,300 MAN: I liked your attitude. 392 00:17:50,367 --> 00:17:52,767 You're just the kind of employee we're looking for here. 393 00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:55,601 It's not her. 394 00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:57,033 I'll just-- I'll just take you to the airport. 395 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,968 We'll figure it out when we get there. 396 00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,567 Fine. 397 00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:02,100 We'll just stop by the apartment first. 398 00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:03,701 For what? I have my meeting. 399 00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:05,701 Sweetie... It will take two minutes. 400 00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:07,400 In fact, I'm gonna call Lisa and tell her to meet us there. 401 00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:09,334 You call and see if there's a later flight. 402 00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:14,901 Welcome to Klarik's. 403 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,567 Thank you. Thanks. 404 00:18:19,501 --> 00:18:21,934 I'm so hungry I could eat my own head. 405 00:18:23,734 --> 00:18:25,634 You're telling me there's nothing in that bag? 406 00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:27,000 Raisins? 407 00:18:28,601 --> 00:18:31,100 I'll eat in Canada. 408 00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:33,334 Oh, you know what? We should say good-bye now. 409 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,300 What? Because there won't be time at the airport. 410 00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:37,567 That's so... Seriously, let's here, let's just get it over with. 411 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,100 Bye. Bye. 412 00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:43,133 Stay warm. I'll miss you. 413 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,300 I'll miss you, too. 414 00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:47,501 Well... I got to go. 415 00:18:56,601 --> 00:18:58,400 I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to meet Jamie. 416 00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:00,901 Look. It's all right. You've sold me. Really? 417 00:19:00,968 --> 00:19:02,734 It was an excellent presentation. 418 00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:04,000 I like your style. 419 00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:05,367 If your partner's anything like you, 420 00:19:05,434 --> 00:19:08,167 it'll be just icing on the cake. Terrific. 421 00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:10,100 Mr. Boniello! I'm so glad to meet you. 422 00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:12,701 I can't tell you how excited we are at this opportunity. 423 00:19:12,767 --> 00:19:14,367 I know we're a small company 424 00:19:14,434 --> 00:19:15,767 but that just means we'll be working that much harder 425 00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:18,267 to fill your public relations needs. I'm taking your car. 426 00:19:18,334 --> 00:19:20,167 Two minutes. I know. I know. 427 00:19:20,234 --> 00:19:22,234 Don't you hate it when you sign with a certain person at a company 428 00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:24,601 and then you spend half the time talking to that person's assistant? 429 00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:26,868 Well, you won't have that trouble with us, 430 00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:28,767 because when you sign with Buchman and Devanow, you get Buchman and Devanow. 431 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,834 Nobody else. I promise you, with our experience and enthusiasm 432 00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:34,033 we can turn that franchise of yours into a national chain. 433 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,467 Lisa, pick up. Lisa, pick up. Lisa, pick up! 434 00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:38,167 All right, listen. 435 00:19:38,234 --> 00:19:40,934 Trans Canadian, LaGuardia flight 332, bring my purse. 436 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,801 It's been a pleasure meeting you. 437 00:19:42,868 --> 00:19:44,868 I look forward to a long and prosperous relationship. 438 00:19:46,934 --> 00:19:48,901 I don't know who that was. 439 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:57,334 How could you let me take a meeting with a raisin in my tooth? 440 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,000 All right, so if I make this plane, 441 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,100 then I don't nap, I don't shower, I don't shave, 442 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,601 I don't even go to the hotel, 443 00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,067 I can still make the closing of the opening ceremonies. 444 00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:05,534 Don't worry. You've got time. 445 00:20:05,601 --> 00:20:07,334 WOMAN ON PA: Ladies and gentlemen, 446 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,601 final boarding at this time for flight 332 to Whitehorse, Canada. 447 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,701 Or you can take the next flight. 448 00:20:12,767 --> 00:20:13,901 There is no next flight. 449 00:20:13,968 --> 00:20:15,567 How many flights to the Yukon do they need? 450 00:20:15,634 --> 00:20:17,267 You're right. You're right. You should just go. 451 00:20:17,334 --> 00:20:19,300 Go and what? I got no passport. I can't get a crew. 452 00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:20,601 What do I do? I draw the race? 453 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:23,067 Get a waiver. Get a... What--What waiver? 454 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:24,968 Whatever it is, a Canadian waiver. Just go. 455 00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:27,534 Can you give me some money, please? 456 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,434 What money? Whatever we've got left. 457 00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:32,000 I gotta get a cab or something. 458 00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:33,234 Hey, give me that. What? 459 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:34,834 That razor. At least I could shave. 460 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,033 Why would she carry an electric razor in her purse? 461 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,968 Why would she carry a puppet and a duck? I don't know. Let me shave. 462 00:20:44,234 --> 00:20:47,267 Hi. I got your message. What is he doing with my stun gun? 463 00:20:47,334 --> 00:20:48,334 Your stun gun? 464 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,400 (STUN GUN ZAPS) PAUL: Ow! 465 00:20:49,467 --> 00:20:50,834 Help me get him up. 466 00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:55,234 Honey? Honey? 467 00:20:58,100 --> 00:20:59,701 Why do I smell toast? 468 00:21:03,634 --> 00:21:06,801 WOMAN ON PA: Ladies and gentlemen, final boarding on flight 332 469 00:21:06,868 --> 00:21:08,734 to Whitehorse, Canada. Give me his passport. 470 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:09,934 Here. Here. Okay, sweetie, 471 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,567 you're gonna take the 7:40. 472 00:21:11,634 --> 00:21:14,667 So you'll get to the hotel. You'll take a shower, you don't have to shave 473 00:21:14,734 --> 00:21:18,667 and you'll be there in plenty of time for the closing ceremonies. 474 00:21:18,734 --> 00:21:20,067 Here, sweetie. Right here. 475 00:21:20,133 --> 00:21:21,367 Here we go. 476 00:21:21,434 --> 00:21:22,801 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 477 00:21:22,868 --> 00:21:25,400 There you go. I got an employee discount. 478 00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:26,801 Thank you, honey. 479 00:21:31,868 --> 00:21:33,467 An employee discount? 480 00:21:33,534 --> 00:21:34,801 Yeah, I got a job. Come here a minute. 481 00:21:34,868 --> 00:21:36,367 Stop it, stop it. Just hold still a minute. 482 00:21:36,434 --> 00:21:38,868 Would you quit it, please? Let's just go home. 483 00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,033 Hey, this isn't my bag. 484 00:21:53,934 --> 00:21:55,300 Why do you have an omelet pan? 485 00:21:55,367 --> 00:21:56,734 It's not mine. 486 00:21:58,267 --> 00:21:59,767 (SQUEAKING) What is this? 487 00:21:59,834 --> 00:22:01,033 Betsy. 488 00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:02,701 Betsy? Betsy. 489 00:22:06,567 --> 00:22:07,968 For luck. 490 00:22:08,033 --> 00:22:10,000 I thought the horseshoe was for luck. No. 491 00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:11,300 Then what's the horseshoe for? 492 00:22:11,367 --> 00:22:12,934 In case I get a horse. 493 00:22:17,501 --> 00:22:19,734 That's Scout. He's happy in there. 494 00:22:19,784 --> 00:22:24,334 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36013

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.