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1
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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:03,506 --> 00:00:06,875
Oh! Extra-thick gym socks?
3
00:00:06,877 --> 00:00:08,410
Thank you, Dad!
4
00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:12,681
Okay, so somebody else open a present.
5
00:00:12,683 --> 00:00:15,217
It's Christmas Eve and Momma's
got a family newsletter to write
6
00:00:15,219 --> 00:00:17,219
and a big meal to cook, so let's get this
7
00:00:17,221 --> 00:00:19,187
wonderful family tradition over with.
8
00:00:19,189 --> 00:00:22,691
And also, Merry Christmas.
9
00:00:22,693 --> 00:00:28,296
It is a Rooney custom to open one
gift on the morning of Christmas Eve.
10
00:00:28,298 --> 00:00:29,331
Yeah.
11
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,199
When Joey was five, he whined and whined
12
00:00:31,201 --> 00:00:34,002
and whined until Mom
and Dad finally let him
13
00:00:34,004 --> 00:00:36,171
open one present a day early. Hmph.
14
00:00:36,173 --> 00:00:39,508
He also whined when he was
six, seven, eight, and nine.
15
00:00:39,510 --> 00:00:46,048
And by the time I was 13, a
Christmas tradition was born.
16
00:00:46,050 --> 00:00:48,016
I've got my own tradition.
17
00:00:48,018 --> 00:00:51,420
I always get Mom a book of coupons
she can redeem for cutesy things,
18
00:00:51,422 --> 00:00:55,257
like smiles and hugs, none
of which cost me a dime.
19
00:00:55,259 --> 00:00:59,361
Christmas is a cow, and I
milk it for all it's worth.
20
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:00,729
Christmas milk.
21
00:01:00,731 --> 00:01:03,598
Feliz Navidad, mis amigos.
22
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,400
Here, Mommy! Open my present!
23
00:01:05,402 --> 00:01:06,368
No! No, no, no, no, no!
24
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,402
I wanna go next!
25
00:01:07,404 --> 00:01:09,771
I wanna see what my little bro gave me!
26
00:01:09,773 --> 00:01:13,275
Momma! Momma, pleeeeease?
27
00:01:13,277 --> 00:01:15,911
Okay, Whiney. I mean, Joey.
28
00:01:15,913 --> 00:01:17,679
(Chuckles)
29
00:01:20,349 --> 00:01:21,683
(Gasps)
30
00:01:21,685 --> 00:01:25,620
A handmade Parker Coupon Book?!
31
00:01:25,622 --> 00:01:27,089
Sickness!
32
00:01:28,458 --> 00:01:30,625
That wasn't for Joey! That was for Mom!
33
00:01:30,627 --> 00:01:32,527
I must've switched the boxes!
34
00:01:32,529 --> 00:01:34,796
- No! Joey, you got the wrong gift.
- Wait.
35
00:01:34,798 --> 00:01:37,566
Okay, hold on. A foot massage...
36
00:01:37,568 --> 00:01:41,470
a ten-second nose nuzzle...
37
00:01:41,472 --> 00:01:44,473
"Parky's Hug-tacular
Love-A-Thon"?
38
00:01:45,741 --> 00:01:47,809
What?
39
00:01:47,811 --> 00:01:50,779
You seriously gave these coupons to Joey?
40
00:01:50,781 --> 00:01:54,916
Okay, there is no way Parker gave me a book
41
00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:58,086
full of coupons for
free snuggles on purpose.
42
00:01:58,088 --> 00:02:04,126
But I am not passing up a Christmas
with Parker as my personal play toy.
43
00:02:05,962 --> 00:02:09,397
I will take the "One-Minute
Hug of Joy," please.
44
00:02:09,399 --> 00:02:12,334
Joey, I'm not doing any
of those coupons for you.
45
00:02:12,336 --> 00:02:13,802
It's a stupid, meaningless book.
46
00:02:13,804 --> 00:02:15,270
Really, Parker?
47
00:02:15,272 --> 00:02:17,405
Was it stupid and meaningless
when you gave it to me
48
00:02:17,407 --> 00:02:18,740
for the past eight years?
49
00:02:21,511 --> 00:02:24,579
Well, uh, what had...
what had happened was...
50
00:02:24,581 --> 00:02:27,749
Then you will have no problem
honoring those coupons.
51
00:02:27,751 --> 00:02:31,353
And if not... no presents
for you this Christmas.
52
00:02:31,355 --> 00:02:32,787
- What?
- (Gasps)
53
00:02:32,789 --> 00:02:34,356
Parker: Fine.
54
00:02:34,358 --> 00:02:37,292
One "Hug of Joy" coming up.
55
00:02:37,294 --> 00:02:39,628
Father, will you time this?
56
00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:41,830
I wanna get my full 60 seconds.
57
00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:45,167
- And go.
- (Timer beeps)
58
00:02:45,169 --> 00:02:47,002
- Mm!
- (Groans)
59
00:02:49,205 --> 00:02:51,106
(Theme music playing)
60
00:02:51,108 --> 00:02:52,541
Better in stereo
61
00:02:52,543 --> 00:02:54,643
B-B-Better
in stereo
62
00:02:54,645 --> 00:02:56,678
-
I'm up with the sunshine
-
Let's go
63
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,181
-
I lace up my high-tops
-
Oh, no
64
00:02:59,183 --> 00:03:01,049
Slam dunk, ready or not
65
00:03:01,051 --> 00:03:02,784
Yeah, show me what you got
66
00:03:02,786 --> 00:03:05,287
-
I'm under the spotlight
-
Holler
67
00:03:05,289 --> 00:03:07,289
I dare you, come on and follow
68
00:03:07,291 --> 00:03:09,558
You dance to your own beat
69
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,560
I'll sing the melody
70
00:03:11,562 --> 00:03:14,196
When you
say yea-ah-ah
71
00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:16,031
I say
no-oh-oh
72
00:03:16,033 --> 00:03:18,366
When you say stop
73
00:03:18,368 --> 00:03:20,735
All I want to do is go, go, go
74
00:03:20,737 --> 00:03:23,738
You, you, the other half of me, me
75
00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:25,740
The half I'll never be-e
76
00:03:25,742 --> 00:03:29,578
The half that drives me crazy
77
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:32,380
You, you, the better half of me, me
78
00:03:32,382 --> 00:03:34,983
The half I'll always need
79
00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:36,551
But we both know
80
00:03:36,553 --> 00:03:38,787
We're better in stereo
81
00:03:40,656 --> 00:03:41,723
(Lightning cracks)
82
00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:53,802
Well, that's never happened before.
83
00:03:55,238 --> 00:03:56,671
(Beep)
84
00:03:56,673 --> 00:03:59,941
Zaydock: We meet again, SkyVolt.
85
00:03:59,943 --> 00:04:01,243
Zaydock!
86
00:04:02,378 --> 00:04:03,878
What do you want?
87
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:08,250
It's not what I want, it's what I have...
88
00:04:08,252 --> 00:04:11,086
your friend, Garrison.
89
00:04:11,088 --> 00:04:16,591
If you want him back, meet me here.
90
00:04:16,593 --> 00:04:18,426
- And cut!
- (Ringing)
91
00:04:18,428 --> 00:04:20,262
That's a wrap for the holidays.
92
00:04:21,297 --> 00:04:23,465
That was fantastic, Liv.
93
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:26,434
Ah, nothing says Christmas
like a glowing alien relic!
94
00:04:27,737 --> 00:04:30,038
Pretty sure Christmas has never said that.
95
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,374
(Sighs) Doesn't say a lot of things, kid.
96
00:04:32,376 --> 00:04:35,377
Never said I'd be spending Christmas
Eve here in Stevens Point.
97
00:04:35,379 --> 00:04:38,546
Oh, what? I thought you were
flying back to LA to see your mom.
98
00:04:38,548 --> 00:04:42,651
Ah, no flights until tomorrow, so what's
left of the crew is stuck here...
99
00:04:42,653 --> 00:04:43,818
(Chuckles)
100
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:46,221
away from friends and family.
101
00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:51,092
No! Gemma, I'm so sorry.
102
00:04:51,094 --> 00:04:52,294
(Sighs)
103
00:04:52,296 --> 00:04:54,396
Liv Rooney, look at me.
104
00:04:54,398 --> 00:04:55,897
Closer.
105
00:04:55,899 --> 00:04:58,566
Gemma will be okay.
106
00:04:58,568 --> 00:05:00,635
McCorky's 24-Hour Diner
is open, and they sell
107
00:05:00,637 --> 00:05:02,504
something called a Garbage Plate.
108
00:05:02,506 --> 00:05:06,241
Nothing says Christmas like Dumpster Fries!
109
00:05:07,310 --> 00:05:10,378
Christmas speaks way differently
to you than everyone else.
110
00:05:11,947 --> 00:05:15,483
Hey, why don't you guys
all have dinner at my house?
111
00:05:15,485 --> 00:05:16,951
Are you sure?
112
00:05:16,953 --> 00:05:18,753
I come to eat.
113
00:05:20,122 --> 00:05:24,626
Yeah. I mean, my mom always makes the
most amazing Christmas Eve dinner,
114
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,761
and I would love to share it
with my new Voltage family.
115
00:05:26,763 --> 00:05:28,630
Thanks, Liv!
116
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:31,966
Nothing says Christmas like
kindness and goodwill to others!
117
00:05:31,968 --> 00:05:33,668
- Was that better?
- Nailed it!
118
00:05:40,476 --> 00:05:44,479
Ho, ho, hello, Stevens Point!
119
00:05:44,481 --> 00:05:46,681
It's your ol' pal, Johnny Nimbus,
120
00:05:46,683 --> 00:05:50,518
spreading Christmas cheer here at the
Ridgewood Porcu-Present Giveaway!
121
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:51,886
Look who've I found!
122
00:05:51,888 --> 00:05:54,189
Hey there, Santa! How you feelin'?
123
00:05:58,661 --> 00:06:00,462
Christmas.
124
00:06:00,464 --> 00:06:03,631
Ha! We are crushing this
present wrapping, Maddie!
125
00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:07,369
I can feel the Christmas spirit
just oozing out of my eyeballs!
126
00:06:08,571 --> 00:06:14,743
Um... so hey... before we hand out
all these presents to the kids,
127
00:06:14,745 --> 00:06:16,745
I got you something.
128
00:06:16,747 --> 00:06:17,746
Oh!
129
00:06:20,549 --> 00:06:22,150
(Stifles laugh)
130
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,822
What is this?
131
00:06:27,824 --> 00:06:29,457
(Stifles laugh)
132
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,628
That is a lump of coal.
133
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,668
But that's what Santa gives
kids on the naughty list.
134
00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:42,203
I've been a good girl.
135
00:06:42,205 --> 00:06:43,571
Why are you giving me this?!
136
00:06:45,674 --> 00:06:47,275
(Chortles)
137
00:06:47,277 --> 00:06:49,844
W... Willow, relax.
138
00:06:49,846 --> 00:06:51,546
It's... it's
just a joke.
139
00:06:51,548 --> 00:06:52,847
- It's not your real present.
- (Scoffs)
140
00:06:52,849 --> 00:06:53,882
No.
141
00:06:53,884 --> 00:06:55,617
Jokes make you laugh and feel like you have
142
00:06:55,619 --> 00:06:57,619
an ice cream sandwich in your tummy.
143
00:06:57,621 --> 00:06:59,354
This feels like a rotten, old shoe!
144
00:07:01,090 --> 00:07:02,857
No.
145
00:07:02,859 --> 00:07:07,195
I just like you so much that I
felt comfortable giving you a gift
146
00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:11,299
with an itty-bitty mean component
to its overall hilarious makeup.
147
00:07:11,301 --> 00:07:13,902
Oh. Oh.
148
00:07:13,904 --> 00:07:16,368
Well, then let me show
you how much I like you.
149
00:07:16,399 --> 00:07:17,168
All right.
150
00:07:19,141 --> 00:07:22,944
I bought you a piece of the court
where we won the state championship.
151
00:07:23,913 --> 00:07:25,680
- Aww...
- (Mockingly) Aww...
152
00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:29,384
Get it?
153
00:07:29,386 --> 00:07:30,952
Hilarious!
154
00:07:33,422 --> 00:07:35,490
(Sighs) Here.
155
00:07:35,492 --> 00:07:36,658
Your coupon is honored.
156
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:40,028
One "This is How Much I
Love You" bulletin board.
157
00:07:41,664 --> 00:07:42,831
Karen: Oh...
158
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:46,000
I don't know how I'm
gonna get everything done.
159
00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:50,004
I haven't even started cooking Momma's
famous Christmas Eve dinner yet.
160
00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:51,072
Well...
161
00:07:51,074 --> 00:07:53,842
I'd offer you my "Draw Me a Bath" coupon...
162
00:07:53,844 --> 00:07:54,776
Oh.
163
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,945
But I kinda need it for myself.
164
00:07:56,947 --> 00:07:58,480
(Chuckles)
165
00:07:58,482 --> 00:08:01,149
Double bubble me, bro.
166
00:08:01,151 --> 00:08:04,285
You don't have to use all the
coupons in the same day, Munch.
167
00:08:04,287 --> 00:08:06,254
You're supposed to spread them out!
168
00:08:06,256 --> 00:08:08,623
Hey, I don't know if I'll be here tomorrow.
169
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,258
I could get hit by a bus.
170
00:08:11,694 --> 00:08:12,760
Don't tease me.
171
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,700
Hey, Mom!
172
00:08:18,702 --> 00:08:21,703
Oh, your hair looks
amazing! Merry Christmas!
173
00:08:21,705 --> 00:08:23,438
I invited Gemma and some
of the Voltage crew
174
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,772
over for dinner tonight. Is that okay?
175
00:08:24,774 --> 00:08:26,374
Did I mention your hair looks amazing?
176
00:08:26,376 --> 00:08:28,009
Please, please, please. Thank
you. I love you. Hair looks great.
177
00:08:28,011 --> 00:08:29,677
Okay.
178
00:08:29,679 --> 00:08:31,980
It's going to be tough,
but there is always room
179
00:08:31,982 --> 00:08:34,148
for more at Momma's famous
Christmas Eve dinner.
180
00:08:34,150 --> 00:08:35,884
So, now keep out of the kitchen.
181
00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:38,720
Oh, and... and tell Joey to
put out the fancy toilet paper.
182
00:08:38,722 --> 00:08:40,355
We have guests now.
183
00:08:40,357 --> 00:08:41,890
(Doorbell)
184
00:08:48,531 --> 00:08:49,831
Hello, Artie.
185
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:52,767
Your lord of leaping is here.
186
00:08:56,705 --> 00:08:57,739
What do you want?
187
00:08:57,741 --> 00:09:00,875
Well, I made you a seasonal treat.
188
00:09:00,877 --> 00:09:02,544
Minions, reveal.
189
00:09:09,051 --> 00:09:11,986
An exact replica of our future home.
190
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:19,093
A gingerbread house from
your ginger-haired suitor.
191
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:22,830
Minions, we ride!
192
00:09:22,832 --> 00:09:25,333
There are stockings to be
hung by the chimney with care
193
00:09:25,335 --> 00:09:27,835
in hopes that Liv Rooney
soon will be there.
194
00:09:31,774 --> 00:09:34,842
All right, here are your
presents, Coach Santa.
195
00:09:34,844 --> 00:09:36,444
Watch out for lap tinklers.
196
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,948
Where were you an hour go?
197
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:45,420
Uh, hey, Willow, do you mind
if you give me back that coal?
198
00:09:45,422 --> 00:09:47,455
'Cause I really wanna...
wanna give it to Liv.
199
00:09:47,457 --> 00:09:48,523
Yeah, sure.
200
00:09:48,525 --> 00:09:51,192
And after that, you can spit in her
face and say "Merry Christmas."
201
00:09:52,394 --> 00:09:54,262
Hilarious!
202
00:09:57,866 --> 00:09:59,601
The coal was right here.
203
00:10:00,603 --> 00:10:01,936
(Gasps)
204
00:10:03,706 --> 00:10:06,140
You don't think we
accidentally wrapped it, do you?
205
00:10:06,142 --> 00:10:09,877
I hope not, or some kid is gonna think
Santa's given them coal for Christmas!
206
00:10:09,879 --> 00:10:10,945
(Gasps)
207
00:10:10,947 --> 00:10:13,448
This is so bad. We gotta find it.
208
00:10:13,450 --> 00:10:14,882
'Cause, I mean, anyone
who gets a lump of coal
209
00:10:14,884 --> 00:10:16,551
is just gonna burst into tears.
210
00:10:20,956 --> 00:10:22,991
Do you even hear yourself?
211
00:10:26,829 --> 00:10:28,029
(Phone rings)
212
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,634
(Beep)
213
00:10:32,636 --> 00:10:35,536
North Pole, Liv Rooney speaking. (Chuckles)
214
00:10:37,406 --> 00:10:41,876
No. Um, we did not order
dinner from Wishnefsky's Deli.
215
00:10:42,978 --> 00:10:44,979
Okay. Thank you. Happy holidays.
216
00:10:44,981 --> 00:10:46,648
Watch out for reindeer! (Chuckles)
217
00:10:48,651 --> 00:10:50,118
Who was on the phone, honey?
218
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,953
Um, Wishnefsky's Deli.
219
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:53,154
They thought we ordered dinner from them,
220
00:10:53,156 --> 00:10:55,189
- but I told them we didn't need it.
- (Chuckles)
221
00:10:55,191 --> 00:10:57,859
Take-out from a deli on Christmas Eve?
222
00:10:57,861 --> 00:10:59,360
Who would do such a thing?
223
00:10:59,362 --> 00:11:00,923
What have you done?! Give me the phone!
224
00:11:02,364 --> 00:11:04,499
What... what...
Mom, Mom, Mom!
225
00:11:04,501 --> 00:11:05,967
Why are you freaking out?
226
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:07,502
Why would we order dinner from a deli
227
00:11:07,504 --> 00:11:09,337
when you're in the kitchen
with a turkey in the oven
228
00:11:09,339 --> 00:11:11,339
and gravy bubbling on the stove and...
229
00:11:11,341 --> 00:11:12,373
(Gasps)
230
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:13,741
(Clatters)
231
00:11:15,944 --> 00:11:17,879
Oh, Mother, no.
232
00:11:22,051 --> 00:11:23,651
Mother...
233
00:11:23,653 --> 00:11:25,319
where's the turkey?
234
00:11:25,321 --> 00:11:26,521
Where's the bubbling gravy?
235
00:11:26,523 --> 00:11:27,889
Why... why aren't
you cooking?
236
00:11:27,891 --> 00:11:30,692
What's going on? (Laughs nervously)
237
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:34,929
I hate to pull the curtain off
your childhood innocence, but...
238
00:11:36,298 --> 00:11:39,634
Momma's famous Christmas Eve dinner...
239
00:11:39,636 --> 00:11:40,702
isn't real.
240
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:48,876
Oh, the deli is not answering!
241
00:11:48,878 --> 00:11:50,745
The message says that they
closed early for Christmas.
242
00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:51,212
(Beep)
243
00:11:51,214 --> 00:11:53,748
Yeah, well, they probably went home
to make dinner for their families,
244
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:56,017
unlike you, you holiday hoodwinker!
245
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:59,053
Liv, I am sorry.
246
00:11:59,055 --> 00:12:01,155
There are just so many things to do
247
00:12:01,157 --> 00:12:04,225
this time of year, that
I... I always order dinner
248
00:12:04,227 --> 00:12:06,594
and pretend to cook when I'm
actually wrapping presents
249
00:12:06,596 --> 00:12:08,763
and... and writing
the family newsletter.
250
00:12:08,765 --> 00:12:13,434
Mom, but my crew is coming over for
Momma's famous Christmas Eve dinner,
251
00:12:13,436 --> 00:12:16,104
and we don't have any food
and we don't have any time
252
00:12:16,106 --> 00:12:17,572
and all the stores are closed.
253
00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:19,107
I mean, what are we gonna do, Momma?
254
00:12:19,109 --> 00:12:19,689
Oh.
255
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,009
Oh, if only there were
someone who knew their way
256
00:12:22,011 --> 00:12:23,945
around a kitchen who
would do anything for you.
257
00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:26,447
(Gasps)
258
00:12:27,783 --> 00:12:30,084
- Artie!
- No!
259
00:12:30,086 --> 00:12:33,121
- Yes!
- Wha...
260
00:12:33,123 --> 00:12:35,022
Bah humbug!
261
00:12:37,025 --> 00:12:39,360
- (Trumpets play)
-
Joy to the world
262
00:12:39,362 --> 00:12:41,596
Artie has come
263
00:12:41,598 --> 00:12:47,135
Let Liv receive her king!
264
00:12:49,905 --> 00:12:52,140
Ho, ho, ho!
265
00:12:52,142 --> 00:12:54,942
Merry Christmas!
266
00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:58,112
All right.
267
00:13:00,582 --> 00:13:01,883
So, the coal...
268
00:13:01,885 --> 00:13:03,671
is in one of those presents.
269
00:13:03,702 --> 00:13:04,819
(Willow sighs)
270
00:13:04,821 --> 00:13:06,087
What do we do?
271
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:08,122
We're gonna do what any good elf would do.
272
00:13:08,124 --> 00:13:10,825
We go out there and we take
presents away from children!
273
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,631
We need your present! (Laughs nervously)
274
00:13:16,633 --> 00:13:19,534
It's official elf business!
275
00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:23,971
Oh, no coal.
276
00:13:23,973 --> 00:13:26,207
Remote control car. Beat it.
277
00:13:27,309 --> 00:13:29,911
Ho, ho, hold it right there!
278
00:13:29,913 --> 00:13:33,581
All right, let's take a trip over
to Santa's workshop, where the...
279
00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:37,652
What in the name of Rudolph's
rosy red nose is going on here?!
280
00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:43,224
Are you stealing presents from children?!
281
00:13:44,326 --> 00:13:47,028
Santa gave me coal! (Cries)
282
00:13:50,599 --> 00:13:53,134
I didn't give anybody coal!
283
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:56,037
Maddie: No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, it wasn't... that wasn't...
284
00:13:56,039 --> 00:13:58,039
Hi. That wasn't Santa, right?
285
00:13:58,041 --> 00:14:00,007
Because, I mean, Santa would never do that!
286
00:14:00,009 --> 00:14:03,845
That... it was...
um... uh...
287
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:06,848
- It was me.
- (Gasps)
288
00:14:06,850 --> 00:14:08,349
You heard it here first!
289
00:14:08,351 --> 00:14:10,284
Maddie Rooney has ruined Christmas!
290
00:14:10,286 --> 00:14:12,086
I...
291
00:14:15,490 --> 00:14:19,093
Minions, show me what you
found in the Rooney cupboards.
292
00:14:22,297 --> 00:14:26,100
Eight cans of yellow wax beans
and a bag of oyster crackers?
293
00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:30,137
For shame, Mrs. Rooney!
294
00:14:30,139 --> 00:14:31,239
(Clicks)
295
00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:33,708
Holiday newsletter. No time to listen.
296
00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:35,476
Liv, when did they offer you Voltage?
297
00:14:35,478 --> 00:14:37,178
Was it September or August?
298
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:40,581
And when did I buy that dead guy suit
that turned Joey cool for a day?
299
00:14:45,053 --> 00:14:48,923
So, Artie, do you think that you
could pull off Christmas Eve dinner?
300
00:14:48,925 --> 00:14:53,327
Well, this is a tall order
and I'm a short man...
301
00:14:55,230 --> 00:14:59,133
but there is one thing that
would put a lift in my shoes...
302
00:15:00,535 --> 00:15:03,905
a holiday card picture with you on my arm.
303
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:10,511
We can look back on it fondly years
from now... when we're married.
304
00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:12,780
Fine.
305
00:15:12,782 --> 00:15:15,116
- She said yes!
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
306
00:15:15,118 --> 00:15:19,086
To the... to the one... the one photo.
Not the... not the marriage.
307
00:15:19,088 --> 00:15:22,089
Well, I have a holiday miracle to make.
308
00:15:22,091 --> 00:15:23,157
Taylor Minion.
309
00:15:24,293 --> 00:15:27,295
Go to my root cellar and get me everything
we don't need for New Year's Eve.
310
00:15:27,297 --> 00:15:29,463
Joel Minion.
311
00:15:29,465 --> 00:15:33,634
Fetch me the finest
turkey in Stevens Point.
312
00:15:33,636 --> 00:15:35,436
Other one.
313
00:15:35,438 --> 00:15:37,171
Nudge Liv a little closer.
314
00:15:41,043 --> 00:15:45,446
Hark, the herald angels sing
315
00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:49,717
Liv and Artie gonna do this thing!
316
00:15:53,555 --> 00:15:54,956
(Doorbell)
317
00:15:59,227 --> 00:16:01,095
Merry Christmas, Liv's brother!
318
00:16:01,097 --> 00:16:03,130
Season's greetings, Liv's director!
319
00:16:03,132 --> 00:16:04,432
(Both chuckle)
320
00:16:04,434 --> 00:16:08,069
Oh, you guys are in for such a treat!
321
00:16:09,638 --> 00:16:17,078
I just cashed in a coupon for "Parker's
Christmas Candy Cane Cavalcade"!
322
00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:23,217
I have no idea what you're
taking about, but I am in.
323
00:16:24,186 --> 00:16:25,319
Parker!
324
00:16:26,822 --> 00:16:28,155
It's showtime.
325
00:16:31,426 --> 00:16:33,160
(Jazz holiday music plays)
326
00:16:50,345 --> 00:16:51,379
(Doorbell)
327
00:16:51,381 --> 00:16:52,780
Oh. Huh.
328
00:16:52,782 --> 00:16:55,683
Well, who could that be?
329
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,387
(Gasps)
330
00:17:01,823 --> 00:17:03,124
What?!
331
00:17:03,126 --> 00:17:09,330
I invited the girls from your class to
come watch you dance whilst dressed
332
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:11,265
like a cute, little candy cane!
333
00:17:12,334 --> 00:17:13,401
(Giggling)
334
00:17:13,403 --> 00:17:14,735
Joey!
335
00:17:14,737 --> 00:17:19,373
I am not dancing in front of Kristin Alvez!
336
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:20,541
Hey, Kristin.
337
00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:25,112
Nothing under that tree is
worth humiliating myself.
338
00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:34,555
(Crying)
339
00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:39,593
Hey, little girl... don't be sad.
340
00:17:39,595 --> 00:17:42,296
But Santa gave me coal.
341
00:17:43,698 --> 00:17:46,200
Um... you know what?
342
00:17:46,202 --> 00:17:48,169
Actually, can I take a look at this?
343
00:17:49,671 --> 00:17:51,772
Uh-huh... oh.
344
00:17:51,774 --> 00:17:53,207
Wow.
345
00:17:53,209 --> 00:17:55,209
Just as I suspected.
346
00:17:55,211 --> 00:17:57,211
This is not actually coal.
347
00:17:57,213 --> 00:17:59,880
This is the...
348
00:17:59,882 --> 00:18:03,017
merry magic...
349
00:18:03,019 --> 00:18:04,518
- Christmas rock!
- (Gasps)
350
00:18:07,022 --> 00:18:08,289
What's that?
351
00:18:08,291 --> 00:18:10,191
(Chuckles) What's that?
352
00:18:10,193 --> 00:18:13,360
Obviously, it means you win a prize.
353
00:18:14,362 --> 00:18:15,696
Yeah.
354
00:18:15,698 --> 00:18:17,731
The biggest prize of all!
355
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:19,733
A prize?
356
00:18:19,735 --> 00:18:21,335
What prize?
357
00:18:22,571 --> 00:18:24,872
Both: Um...
358
00:18:26,274 --> 00:18:27,541
- It, uh, you...
- Um...
359
00:18:27,543 --> 00:18:28,809
you win a...
360
00:18:28,811 --> 00:18:30,277
- um...
- You, um...
361
00:18:30,279 --> 00:18:31,345
Both: Santa?
362
00:18:32,948 --> 00:18:39,453
Oh. Uh... uh... You get to do
the weather with Johnny Nimbus!
363
00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:42,123
Yay!
364
00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:44,492
I'm gonna make it sunny all week!
365
00:18:44,494 --> 00:18:46,594
(Chuckles) Go ahead, kid.
366
00:18:46,596 --> 00:18:48,162
I make it up all the time.
367
00:18:49,731 --> 00:18:52,500
Hello, Stevens Point!
368
00:18:52,502 --> 00:18:55,302
This is your ol' pal,
Raina, with the weather.
369
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:01,775
Hey, girls, can you hold
down the throne for a minute?
370
00:19:01,777 --> 00:19:04,111
Santa sees some cookies
with his name on it.
371
00:19:04,113 --> 00:19:05,846
Yeah. Hey, save some room
372
00:19:05,848 --> 00:19:08,816
- for Momma's famous Christmas Eve dinner!
- (Sighs)
373
00:19:08,818 --> 00:19:11,585
Ah, dinner with family and friends.
374
00:19:11,587 --> 00:19:14,321
That sounds a whole lot better
than reheating a burrito
375
00:19:14,323 --> 00:19:17,258
and acting surprised when you open
a present you gave to yourself.
376
00:19:18,493 --> 00:19:21,428
Well, Johnny, why don't you
come to my house for dinner?
377
00:19:21,430 --> 00:19:24,298
I mean, my mom always
makes the most amazing meal.
378
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,367
You'd do that for me?
379
00:19:26,369 --> 00:19:27,801
Yeah. I mean...
380
00:19:27,803 --> 00:19:29,103
I mean, it's Christmas, right?
381
00:19:29,105 --> 00:19:32,439
Oh, and Johnny, I got
you a little somethin'.
382
00:19:32,441 --> 00:19:35,442
Oh, you elves are gonna make me cry.
383
00:19:36,811 --> 00:19:38,812
This is too much.
Really, I... (Gasps)
384
00:19:38,814 --> 00:19:40,181
(Giggles)
385
00:19:41,349 --> 00:19:42,416
Coal?!
386
00:19:43,451 --> 00:19:45,386
I'm already in an emotional state!
387
00:19:45,388 --> 00:19:47,454
(Both laugh)
388
00:19:49,324 --> 00:19:50,691
I get it now!
389
00:19:50,693 --> 00:19:52,293
- It's hilarious!
- Right?!
390
00:19:58,667 --> 00:19:59,967
(Overlapping chatter)
391
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:08,542
Oh, you did it, Artie!
392
00:20:08,544 --> 00:20:10,544
Dinner looks amazing.
393
00:20:10,546 --> 00:20:14,381
I'll see you tomorrow for
our holiday card photo shoot.
394
00:20:14,383 --> 00:20:15,549
Artie, wait.
395
00:20:22,657 --> 00:20:26,093
You really saved me today...
396
00:20:26,095 --> 00:20:30,864
and I was wondering if
you might want to join
397
00:20:30,866 --> 00:20:33,267
me and my family for dinner tonight.
398
00:20:35,003 --> 00:20:36,403
Thank you, Liv.
399
00:20:36,405 --> 00:20:37,571
That means a lot.
400
00:20:38,673 --> 00:20:41,976
I'd love to, but I'm
not dressed for dinner.
401
00:20:44,846 --> 00:20:46,413
And now I am!
402
00:20:50,085 --> 00:20:52,253
Minions, leave us.
403
00:20:52,255 --> 00:20:54,622
We'll do Christmas bonuses
tomorrow with my family
404
00:20:54,624 --> 00:20:56,590
while opening presents in our PJs.
405
00:20:59,261 --> 00:21:01,295
(Sighs) Okay.
406
00:21:01,297 --> 00:21:03,030
Smells great, kiddies.
407
00:21:03,032 --> 00:21:05,432
Okay, now out of my way.
408
00:21:05,434 --> 00:21:07,568
I swear, I have worked so hard.
409
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:08,636
(Chuckles)
410
00:21:10,872 --> 00:21:14,675
Here comes Momma's famous
Christmas Eve dinner!
411
00:21:18,213 --> 00:21:20,247
Thanks for having us, Liv.
412
00:21:20,249 --> 00:21:21,649
Can someone please pass the gravy?
413
00:21:21,651 --> 00:21:22,783
Oh.
414
00:21:22,785 --> 00:21:25,886
I like to start with that as a base
and then pile the food on top.
415
00:21:25,888 --> 00:21:28,188
Told you. I come to eat.
416
00:21:30,325 --> 00:21:34,061
- The gravy is on its way-vy.
- Oh.
417
00:21:34,063 --> 00:21:36,630
Many thanks again for having me.
418
00:21:36,632 --> 00:21:38,766
Haven't had this much fun on Christmas Eve
419
00:21:38,768 --> 00:21:42,936
since I covered that torrential
rainstorm in Fond du Lac.
420
00:21:42,938 --> 00:21:45,172
I used to be a storm chaser.
421
00:21:45,174 --> 00:21:46,674
Tell me everything.
422
00:21:47,776 --> 00:21:50,811
Did you just ask Johnny Nimbus
to talk about the weather?
423
00:21:50,813 --> 00:21:54,481
'Cause it's 82 and sunny in Cancun,
and we can be there by New Year's.
424
00:21:57,352 --> 00:21:58,686
- Muy caliente.
- Oh.
425
00:22:03,658 --> 00:22:05,626
Weird.
426
00:22:05,628 --> 00:22:07,294
Anyway...
427
00:22:07,296 --> 00:22:10,297
I'm sorry I got so carried
away with those coupons.
428
00:22:10,299 --> 00:22:13,167
I told Mom to give you all your presents.
429
00:22:13,169 --> 00:22:14,668
Thanks, but I get it.
430
00:22:14,670 --> 00:22:17,338
I'm too old to still be
giving coupon books as gifts.
431
00:22:17,340 --> 00:22:20,040
Maybe, but I got you
something to make it up to you.
432
00:22:23,011 --> 00:22:26,380
A "Free Hugs from Joey for Life" coupon?
433
00:22:26,382 --> 00:22:27,481
Thanks.
434
00:22:27,483 --> 00:22:29,850
You wanna cash it in now?
435
00:22:31,853 --> 00:22:33,687
I do.
436
00:22:33,689 --> 00:22:35,422
Merry Christmas, Willow.
437
00:22:37,726 --> 00:22:38,792
(Gasps)
438
00:22:40,295 --> 00:22:42,629
Free Joey hugs for life?!
439
00:22:42,631 --> 00:22:45,499
God bless us, everyone!
440
00:22:45,501 --> 00:22:47,735
(Sighs dreamily)
441
00:22:50,372 --> 00:22:51,705
Let's eat.
442
00:22:57,145 --> 00:22:58,712
Liv and Artie:
Deck the halls
443
00:22:58,714 --> 00:23:00,848
With boughs of holly
444
00:23:00,850 --> 00:23:04,551
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
445
00:23:04,553 --> 00:23:08,389
'Tis the season to be jolly
446
00:23:08,391 --> 00:23:11,992
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
447
00:23:11,994 --> 00:23:15,696
Don we now our gay apparel
448
00:23:15,698 --> 00:23:19,333
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
449
00:23:19,335 --> 00:23:22,870
Troll the ancient yuletide carol
450
00:23:22,872 --> 00:23:26,673
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
451
00:23:28,676 --> 00:23:29,843
Pete: Christmas.
452
00:23:29,893 --> 00:23:34,443
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