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Serve it up Love potion number nine.
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MAN: All I know is this isn't my fault.
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WOMAN: You're blaming me because you're angry?
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l'm not angry.
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Yes, you are. l'm not.
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You are!
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Well, I am now because you're accusing me of being angry when I'm not.
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So it's my fault?
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lt's your fault I've got two days to save a marriage
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and only me and Puck to do it.
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And me. Yes, and you are such a great help!
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Fine. lf I'm no use, do it all yourself.
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I didn't mean that. Pity. Because I did.
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Two lessons in life, mate.
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Two gold nuggets from the Bank of Puck.
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One.
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Never leave home without your love-juice.
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Two.
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Things aren't always what they appear to be.
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The eyes are the window to the soul.
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But now and again we all need a good window cleaner.
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Hold still. Don't want to have your eye out.
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All I know is this isn't my fault.
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So you're blaming me because you're angry?
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Oberon and Titania.
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King and Queen of the Fairies.
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Dance. Ritual.
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Magic. Nature. Danger.
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A right old cosmic harmony vibe going on.
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And me. Yes. Yes.
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And you are such a great help! Fine.
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lf I'm no use,
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do it all yourself.
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I didn't mean that.
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Pity, because I did.
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I told you things can look a bit different, didn't I?
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This is the gig. We bring couples here in times of need.
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We look after them when they've run into trouble, love-wise.
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Help them see each other again. Put them back on the right track.
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We're kind of like a spirituaI Relate.
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We blessed this couple's wedding 26 years ago.
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And we've brought them here to DreamPark
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to celebrate their daughter's engagement.
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James will be driving. He won't be able to text.
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Yeah, yeah. That'll be it.
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Hello there. Welcome to DreamPark.
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Do you have your booking slips, sir? Yes, indeed.
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Oh, yes, the Premium Villa. Very nice.
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lt's a very speciaI occasion, my daughter's getting engaged.
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Oh, lovely!
51
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That's two villas in Foxglove and one in Bluebell.
52
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No, no, sorry, that's not right.
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Leave this to me.
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I think you'll find everything's in order... l'd like to check, please.
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Hey! You!
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Hello? Hello? Come in!
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Over! Foxtrot? Tango? Hokey-pokey?
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Foxglove. Foxglove. Bluebell.
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l'm no Alan Titchmarsh
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but it seems to me you've got your flowers mixed up!
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You booked in the same area?
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No. I thought it'd be fun standing here arguing with you! Yes. Three villas.
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Same area. Did you confirm by telephone?
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lt's my daughter's engagement party. I left nothing to chance.
65
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Perhaps your accent confused the operator.
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As you can see, Bluebell is very close to Foxglove.
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lt's clearly at least a mile!
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I find with a larger party a little privacy is no bad thing.
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Listen, pal. I tell you what I'll do.
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Have another of our complimentary packs just to help soften the disappointment.
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Not that you should feel any disappointment
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or that DreamPark is in any way in a position to admit any liability.
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DreamPark?
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More like Nightmare Park!
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l'm the officiaI welcome party
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and I think I should give Theo a welcome that he'll never forget.
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lt's the least I can do.
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My daughter and James have known each other all their life,
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which, as they say, is a lifetime.
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And today on this very speciaI occasion
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we look forward to welcoming him once again...
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Dad?
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Yes, what is it?
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ls this not a good time?
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No. No. lt's fine! lt's fine!
86
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Hey. Come on, what's the problem?
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Well, I don't really know how to put this but...
88
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Are you OK?
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Yeah, of course I am.
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The occasion's getting to me
91
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because I want everything to be just right, for you and for James.
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Everything just perfect.
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When you married Mum...
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Did you know?. ln your heart?
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Did you know that she was...? (Clears throat)
96
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Well, did you know that...?
97
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What?
98
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Dad? Sorry.
99
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You were saying something about Mum.
100
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I know this is a bit late but...
101
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Well, I sometimes look at James and...
102
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And I look at James and... and I think that...
103
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Dad? Are you even listening?
104
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Sorry, just feeling a little bit tense just now.
105
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Maybe later, hey, darling? Yeah.
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Sure.
107
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Thanks.
108
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Get a grip. Get a grip.
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Well, that seemed to go all right, didn't it?
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l'd know him anywhere.
111
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Jeans, white trainers, climbed up the fence like it wasn't even there.
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You are sure it was a man and not a...big cat or something?
113
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No way. No. I could tell he wasn't a cat because of the rucksack.
114
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That's usually a clincher.
115
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My lovely husband Theo is now going to say a few words!
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A few?. That'll be a first!
117
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Oh, Geoff.
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Well, thank you, Polly.
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Our Hermia and this fine young fellow, James Demetrius,
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have known each other quite a while.
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Well, all their lives as a matter of fact.
122
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And when they used to share a bath together...
123
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What do you mean? Used to?
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We would joke that one day...
125
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..that one day they'd get married.
126
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And watching them grow up together and Helena too...
127
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l've always said that Hermia isn't an only child,
128
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because Helena has always been like a sister to her,
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the best sister that a girI could ever want!
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l'm never going to get this right for tomorrow, am I?
131
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You have to.
132
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lf we get it right for the engagement party,
133
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I reckon the big-wigs are looking to make us full-time entertainers.
134
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Not paying us any more though, are they?
135
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Not yet, maybe. That's him.
136
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That's him! Yes!
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Oi! Hey, you!
138
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We're onto you!
139
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Come on, son! The fun's over!
140
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You don't want us letting the dogs out!
141
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Should we call for back-up?
142
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We are the back-up!
143
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Back in the forest? There's no point.
144
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He knows we're on to him. He'll be halfway home by now.
145
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Come on, I've got to talk to Quince about the running order.
146
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As long as I'm not first up.
147
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And if I could choose a man, if I was going to choose a man
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to marry my daughter, then it would be the one that she's chosen.
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James Demetrius!
150
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Stop!
151
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Stop!
152
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What the hell... Don't do this!
153
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Stop this now! I'm begging you!
154
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Just don't! Please!
155
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Call Security, Polly!
156
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I love you!
157
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He's with me.
158
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What?!
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He's with me.
160
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I mean, who is he? What is he?
161
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Me and Zander...
162
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..love each other very much.
163
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Don't be stupid. You cannot...
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l'm sorry, but it's true. lf there'd been any other way of doing it...
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Oh, let me think!
166
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What about standing on the table and urinating in the drinks?!
167
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Dad! Please! What is going on here?
168
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She can't just change her mind like that!
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I tried to tell you, and you wouldn't listen!
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Do you work with Hermia, Zander? ls that how you met?
171
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No, I don't work at the moment. l've not found out what I want to do.
172
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Oh, let me just lie down and die right here.
173
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Hermia?
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James.
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l'm really sorry. I should've told you sooner.
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You can't love somebody just like that. l've known you all my life!
177
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l've missed her all my life. ls he on drugs? He's talking scribble!
178
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Just calm down, Theo.
179
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I love her. Anybody can say that!
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But you never did.
181
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That is not true! I was always telling you!
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I used to say, ''I love you''.
183
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And you used to say, ''Me too''.
184
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Hermia.
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I just wanted to do something very special just for you and James. That's all!
186
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Why do you want to ruin everything like this?
187
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I just want you to be happy for me.
188
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You're about to make the biggest mistake of your life! How can I be happy?
189
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Please, Dad. I would have told you sooner
190
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but I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you!
191
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You want to kill me instead? lf I don't marry James, you'll die?
192
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You'll break my heart, I might as well be dead!
193
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Just let them go, Theo. Let them go.
194
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You can't bully her into loving James.
195
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Nobody leaves! Nobody goes anywhere!
196
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There will be an engagement party tomorrow
197
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and we will be toasting the happy couple!
198
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Theo, you heard her. They've split up.
199
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James Demetrius and Hermia Moon will be getting engaged tomorrow at noon.
200
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So in the meantime,
201
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please enjoy the holiday experience of a lifetime as per timetable.
202
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Oh, don't.
203
00:12:48,957 --> 00:12:51,949
One minute you're...
204
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or you think you're...
205
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and the next it's not been understood.
206
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She is the one thing that I want.
207
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She is it.
208
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She's just...
209
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So whatever you had to say,
210
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it's not going to help.
211
00:13:23,037 --> 00:13:27,677
Snug. Between courses you give them card tricks and conjuring
212
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appropriate to the genteeI surroundings.
213
00:13:29,837 --> 00:13:33,546
David Blaine says to do magic, you make your mind go completely blank.
214
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lt's an engagement party
215
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so I'll open proceedings with Theme From The Deer Hunter,
216
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congratulations to the celebrants and then the highlight.
217
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l'll storm it! l'm talking about the juggling.
218
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l've mastered the diabolos and the three club chase.
219
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lt's a running buffet. So unicycles are persona non grata.
220
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Understood.
221
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Now, Bottom, you come on after they've had a few drinks.
222
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Just the clever gags. No smut. Family crowd.
223
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Then Flute here rounds it all off accompanied by yours truly
224
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on my brand-new replica Les Paul.
225
00:14:08,997 --> 00:14:11,591
You come into money? I thought I'd make the extra effort.
226
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lf The Rude Mechanicals are going to impress.
227
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l'll see you at rehearsals. And get there on time.
228
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Yeah, yeah. l'm on the graveyard shift tonight.
229
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Sure. See you later.
230
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Excuse me, do you want to get off those railings?
231
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This running order.
232
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There will be room for my impressions, won't there?
233
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l've been entrusted to put together an evening of contemporary entertainment.
234
00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:36,121
Contemporary? I do a David Brent
235
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now that has people roaring.
236
00:14:37,537 --> 00:14:38,597
With all due respect,
237
00:14:38,597 --> 00:14:41,589
your impressions do not always measure up to DreamPark's exacting standards.
238
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l'll see you at rehearsals.
239
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When you see my Little Britain you'll be begging for more!
240
00:14:50,517 --> 00:14:53,156
The thing that Quince doesn't understand is that
241
00:14:53,197 --> 00:14:56,826
when I played the Alhambra, Bradford, I stormed it.
242
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I tell you, they went to see Bernie and Schnorbitz
243
00:14:59,437 --> 00:15:01,314
but they came away talking about me!
244
00:15:01,357 --> 00:15:03,791
Who are Bernie and Schnorbitz?
245
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Not there!
246
00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:10,868
Best make a move, I suppose.
247
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:16,393
Hermia, I really don't think we should hang around.
248
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Did you bring an extra towel?
249
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Hey, come on.
250
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lt's over now. lt's behind you.
251
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You've got through the hardest bit.
252
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You'd better be worth it, buster.
253
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You are...
254
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..so...so...
255
00:15:42,677 --> 00:15:46,989
lf you knew how much I wanted you.
256
00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:59,757
Remember me? LoyaI friend, all-round gooseberry and voice of reason?
257
00:15:59,757 --> 00:16:02,112
Hi, Helen. Helena!
258
00:16:06,637 --> 00:16:08,867
How well do you even know him?
259
00:16:10,197 --> 00:16:12,757
How come you've never mentioned him to me before?
260
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:16,233
I knew you'd stick up for James. I know how fond you are of him.
261
00:16:16,277 --> 00:16:18,916
Fonder than you by the looks of things.
262
00:16:18,957 --> 00:16:21,517
l'm not doing this to hurt James.
263
00:16:21,557 --> 00:16:25,869
l'm doing it because I've found the person I really, really love.
264
00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:28,385
Hermia. Come on!
265
00:16:30,077 --> 00:16:32,307
You think I'm making a mistake with Zander, don't you?
266
00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:35,155
No. I think you're making a terrible mistake.
267
00:16:35,197 --> 00:16:37,517
When you find someone you love as much as I love him,
268
00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:38,916
then you'll understand.
269
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,869
At least go and talk to your dad before you go.
270
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,589
No!
271
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:45,787
You heard him.
272
00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:49,147
l've broken his heart. ln other words, you can't face him.
273
00:16:49,197 --> 00:16:52,075
He thought James and I were perfect.
274
00:16:52,117 --> 00:16:53,675
He thinks we are perfect.
275
00:16:53,717 --> 00:16:59,189
But you wouldn't have gone through with the engagement, would you?
276
00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:05,386
We have to go. Where are you going to go at this time?
277
00:17:05,437 --> 00:17:07,348
Zander's found an empty villa.
278
00:17:07,397 --> 00:17:09,592
He's going to break in! Oh, very mature.
279
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,992
I love her. So you keep saying.
280
00:17:12,037 --> 00:17:14,312
Just be happy for us, Helena.
281
00:17:20,477 --> 00:17:24,595
You're not going anywhere. You'll do something you'll regret.
282
00:17:24,637 --> 00:17:26,309
The girI clearly needs time.
283
00:17:26,357 --> 00:17:29,269
Time to run off who knows where with a 'Big lssue' seller.
284
00:17:29,317 --> 00:17:32,150
He's not a tramp. He's just unemployed.
285
00:17:32,197 --> 00:17:35,473
You say that like I should be reassured! She doesn't even know him!
286
00:17:35,517 --> 00:17:37,235
She's changed her mind.
287
00:17:37,277 --> 00:17:40,235
Charging after her like a raging bull is not going to help her change it back.
288
00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:43,952
Who is this Zander bloke anyway? lt's as if he's brainwashed her!
289
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:47,876
Maybe she just feels confused.
290
00:17:47,917 --> 00:17:50,590
Pressured.
291
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:54,755
Maybe the man she thought she loved doesn't make her heart sing anymore.
292
00:17:56,677 --> 00:17:58,077
lt does happen.
293
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,387
Yes, well, last time I looked the heart was an internaI organ.
294
00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:04,190
The chances of it singing seem remote at best.
295
00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:06,387
When you've finished mouthing off this new age drivel
296
00:18:06,437 --> 00:18:09,429
perhaps you could address yourself to the issues in hand.
297
00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:12,275
She didn't feeI she could come to us and talk about it.
298
00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:16,230
Don't you think that's what we should be worried about?
299
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,276
I suppose.
300
00:18:23,597 --> 00:18:25,906
She's a headstrong girl,
301
00:18:25,957 --> 00:18:27,868
that's for certain.
302
00:18:29,837 --> 00:18:32,305
And we both know where she gets that from.
303
00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:40,113
Have you got any idea what's going on out there? lt's falling apart!
304
00:18:40,157 --> 00:18:41,795
Theo and Polly need us!
305
00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:45,227
And I'm sure that you and that ruffian Puck are coping.
306
00:18:45,277 --> 00:18:47,837
He seemed very eager to impress you.
307
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,435
And what about you?
308
00:18:49,477 --> 00:18:52,389
l'll be very active just as soon as I hear your apology.
309
00:18:52,437 --> 00:18:55,076
Apology? Apology! I am the King!
310
00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:57,267
So start acting like one.
311
00:18:57,317 --> 00:19:00,275
I am. And I command you to get your act together
312
00:19:00,317 --> 00:19:02,353
and help me save Polly and Theo!
313
00:19:02,397 --> 00:19:04,547
You don't command me.
314
00:19:04,597 --> 00:19:06,588
Nobody commands me.
315
00:19:06,637 --> 00:19:10,550
I think you'll find that the King can, and that happens to be me.
316
00:19:10,597 --> 00:19:13,031
So I command you to get your finger out!
317
00:19:13,077 --> 00:19:14,795
And why should I obey? Why?!
318
00:19:16,357 --> 00:19:20,350
lt is tradition! Oh, yes, tradition.
319
00:19:20,397 --> 00:19:25,232
The place we like to hide when we have lost the argument.
320
00:19:26,197 --> 00:19:29,189
lll met by moonlight, Titania.
321
00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:31,592
I am King of the Fairies.
322
00:19:33,717 --> 00:19:35,230
Of course you are.
323
00:19:37,397 --> 00:19:39,228
Anybody can see that.
324
00:19:39,277 --> 00:19:43,065
That's right. Your regaI bearing.
325
00:19:43,117 --> 00:19:45,551
Your authority.
326
00:19:45,597 --> 00:19:47,269
Your eloquence.
327
00:19:47,317 --> 00:19:50,593
Well, it's in the blood, that's true.
328
00:19:50,637 --> 00:19:53,390
You don't need courtiers or servants or staff
329
00:19:53,437 --> 00:19:55,314
to tell the world you're a King.
330
00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:04,313
You...just need to make an entrance and everyone feels inclined to bow.
331
00:20:04,357 --> 00:20:06,234
Agreed?
332
00:20:06,277 --> 00:20:09,269
Agreed.
333
00:20:09,317 --> 00:20:11,877
You don't need anyone.
334
00:20:13,437 --> 00:20:17,112
That's right. So you don't need me.
335
00:20:17,157 --> 00:20:20,069
I would stop this, if I were you, Titania.
336
00:20:20,117 --> 00:20:22,108
Or I will make you regret it!
337
00:20:22,157 --> 00:20:23,670
l'm getting bored.
338
00:20:25,237 --> 00:20:27,705
So what are we going to do now?. Cancel?
339
00:20:27,757 --> 00:20:29,270
No.
340
00:20:29,317 --> 00:20:32,195
No. lt'll be fine. You're joking, aren't you?
341
00:20:32,237 --> 00:20:36,549
Every time you two meet, you frighten the pixies! How can you help anyone?
342
00:20:36,597 --> 00:20:38,588
You just keep an eye on the mortals.
343
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:41,754
l'm going to find a way to teach my Queen a lesson!
344
00:20:47,157 --> 00:20:51,275
My advice to these two is move away from the forest.
345
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:53,148
Make a clean start.
346
00:20:53,197 --> 00:20:57,031
Because there's something about this place that does your head in.
347
00:20:57,077 --> 00:21:00,513
lt's, like, all this nature, it's...
348
00:21:00,557 --> 00:21:02,468
Well, it's unnatural.
349
00:21:02,517 --> 00:21:04,075
lsn't it?
350
00:21:04,117 --> 00:21:06,631
A double whisky. No extras.
351
00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,716
There you go, sir.
352
00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:18,155
Pour it like you mean it.
353
00:21:28,557 --> 00:21:29,990
Do I...?
354
00:21:31,437 --> 00:21:34,110
I know you from somewhere, don't I?
355
00:21:34,157 --> 00:21:37,547
Stockport Registry Office. 1 979.
356
00:21:39,117 --> 00:21:41,506
I was at your wedding. Really?
357
00:21:41,557 --> 00:21:45,186
You don't remember? Were you a friend of Polly's family?
358
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:48,115
Not a guest in the traditionaI sense.
359
00:21:48,157 --> 00:21:51,706
But remember, you were having one or two last-minute doubts
360
00:21:51,757 --> 00:21:53,588
so I talked to you about love.
361
00:21:55,157 --> 00:21:59,275
Right. What are you doing here?
362
00:21:59,317 --> 00:22:01,547
You don't know?.
363
00:22:01,597 --> 00:22:03,588
Hasn't Puck been to see you?
364
00:22:03,637 --> 00:22:05,992
The weird, scruffy looking guy?
365
00:22:06,037 --> 00:22:08,107
PracticaI joker fella, yeah.
366
00:22:08,157 --> 00:22:12,867
I thought I was seeing things again. No, he's as reaI as I am.
367
00:22:12,917 --> 00:22:15,226
And that's what I'm driving at.
368
00:22:15,277 --> 00:22:17,188
I didn't think you were real.
369
00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:21,117
I mean, no disrespect but I was pretty off my head at the wedding.
370
00:22:21,117 --> 00:22:26,032
Yeah, well, no, we were really there.
371
00:22:26,077 --> 00:22:28,671
Blessing your nuptials.
372
00:22:28,717 --> 00:22:30,708
And we brought you here too.
373
00:22:30,757 --> 00:22:33,874
See, it's an obligation, Theo, a duty.
374
00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:36,989
Spread peace and love.
375
00:22:37,037 --> 00:22:39,870
And happiness.
376
00:22:39,917 --> 00:22:44,229
So it's come to this. The only man who'll drink with me is a hallucination!
377
00:22:44,277 --> 00:22:46,437
I am not an hallucination.
378
00:22:46,437 --> 00:22:50,271
OK, OK. You're my fairy godmother.
379
00:22:50,317 --> 00:22:55,517
You know, I could really mess with your head, so less of the godmother.
380
00:22:55,517 --> 00:22:57,997
All right? But you're a fairy, right?
381
00:22:57,997 --> 00:23:01,228
Oh, I'm King of the Fairies, Theo.
382
00:23:01,277 --> 00:23:03,950
OK.
383
00:23:03,997 --> 00:23:06,352
So where are all the other fairies?
384
00:23:06,397 --> 00:23:09,867
You should ask my lovely Queen about that.
385
00:23:09,917 --> 00:23:13,990
Don't tell me the King of the Fairies has maritaI difficulties?
386
00:23:14,037 --> 00:23:17,427
Why do you think the weather's so weird nowadays?
387
00:23:17,477 --> 00:23:19,433
You think it's globaI warming?
388
00:23:19,477 --> 00:23:21,786
No chance. lt's me and Titania.
389
00:23:21,837 --> 00:23:23,429
Really?
390
00:23:23,477 --> 00:23:26,867
Yeah. Nature's got a way of biting back, you know what I mean?
391
00:23:28,477 --> 00:23:32,834
No, not really. Nature has a way of...
392
00:23:34,077 --> 00:23:37,547
She has a way of teaching us lessons.
393
00:23:37,597 --> 00:23:39,986
Of course she has!
394
00:23:48,717 --> 00:23:52,790
l've got it. I know how to sort out Titania.
395
00:23:52,837 --> 00:23:55,146
Something tells me it's not counselling.
396
00:23:55,197 --> 00:23:57,586
l'm going to need you to get me some love juice.
397
00:23:58,997 --> 00:24:01,431
Top plan. How much are we talking?
398
00:24:01,477 --> 00:24:04,787
That way whatever Titania looks at when she wakes up,
399
00:24:04,837 --> 00:24:06,677
she'll be in love with.
400
00:24:06,677 --> 00:24:08,474
And that's you, right?
401
00:24:08,517 --> 00:24:11,357
You remember that stuff I used the night I heard the mermaids sing?
402
00:24:11,357 --> 00:24:13,473
Those mermaids!
403
00:24:13,517 --> 00:24:16,111
We had a wobble on that night!
404
00:24:16,157 --> 00:24:22,551
ln maiden meditation, fancy-free yet marked where the bolt of Cupid fell.
405
00:24:22,597 --> 00:24:25,397
I can sort you for love-juice, no danger.
406
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:28,517
lt fell upon a little western flower,
407
00:24:28,517 --> 00:24:32,351
before milk-white, now purple with love's wounds.
408
00:24:32,397 --> 00:24:35,787
And maidens called it Love ln ldleness.
409
00:24:35,837 --> 00:24:39,466
Do you want the bleeding love-juice or what?
410
00:24:41,517 --> 00:24:42,877
James!
411
00:24:42,877 --> 00:24:44,947
Please!
412
00:24:44,997 --> 00:24:47,909
Why don't you stay and try and make a weekend of it?
413
00:24:47,957 --> 00:24:50,266
My fiancee has just walked out on me
414
00:24:50,317 --> 00:24:53,707
and you think I can get over it with a swim and a game of ping-pong?
415
00:24:53,757 --> 00:24:57,113
Not suggesting you'd get over it, just...l'd like you to stay.
416
00:24:57,157 --> 00:24:59,997
Why would anyone want to spend the weekend with dull, dumped James?
417
00:24:59,997 --> 00:25:01,749
You're not dull.
418
00:25:07,477 --> 00:25:10,230
Well, who's she going to choose?
419
00:25:10,277 --> 00:25:14,111
Plain James or the glamorous smoothie who can do the love talk?
420
00:25:14,157 --> 00:25:17,069
Hey, words aren't everything.
421
00:25:17,117 --> 00:25:18,186
Yes, they are.
422
00:25:18,237 --> 00:25:21,912
And I should have said them when I had the chance.
423
00:25:21,957 --> 00:25:24,994
What sort of things?
424
00:25:25,037 --> 00:25:27,756
That I need her.
425
00:25:27,797 --> 00:25:30,914
That I can't live without her.
426
00:25:30,957 --> 00:25:32,754
That would have been nice.
427
00:25:32,797 --> 00:25:34,708
What's the point?
428
00:25:34,757 --> 00:25:36,509
I can't turn the clock back.
429
00:25:36,557 --> 00:25:39,435
lt's not over yet. Well, that's just it.
430
00:25:39,477 --> 00:25:41,547
lt's very much over.
431
00:25:41,597 --> 00:25:44,987
What if I told you that...
432
00:25:45,037 --> 00:25:48,712
..I might be able to find her and that you could say those things?
433
00:25:51,637 --> 00:25:57,872
Tender is the night Lying by your side
434
00:25:57,917 --> 00:26:03,787
Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much
435
00:26:03,837 --> 00:26:06,590
Tender is the day...
436
00:26:06,637 --> 00:26:11,313
lt's not much further, OK? Yeah.
437
00:26:11,357 --> 00:26:16,556
Lord, I need to find someone who can heaI my mind
438
00:26:16,597 --> 00:26:23,275
Come on, come on, come on Get through it
439
00:26:23,317 --> 00:26:26,992
Come on, come on, come on
440
00:26:27,037 --> 00:26:31,872
Love's the greatest thing that we have
441
00:26:31,917 --> 00:26:38,186
I'm waiting for that feeling to come.
442
00:26:46,957 --> 00:26:49,073
I couldn't find her anywhere!
443
00:26:49,117 --> 00:26:51,836
Completely disappeared!
444
00:26:51,877 --> 00:26:55,506
Nice to see you took my words of wisdom to heart.
445
00:26:55,557 --> 00:26:58,637
Have you just been sitting here all this time?
446
00:26:58,637 --> 00:27:01,868
She could be miles away by now! lf she's got any sense she will be.
447
00:27:01,917 --> 00:27:04,351
Well, she can pay the full balance on her villa.
448
00:27:04,397 --> 00:27:07,628
That way she might learn that being a grown-up doesn't come cheap.
449
00:27:07,677 --> 00:27:10,037
There are more important things than money.
450
00:27:10,037 --> 00:27:11,026
Oh, yeah?
451
00:27:11,077 --> 00:27:15,036
Let's see how easy it is for you to set up your flotation studio without James's help.
452
00:27:15,077 --> 00:27:18,237
I can't make Hermia get married to a man she doesn't love
453
00:27:18,237 --> 00:27:20,592
just so I can have a sympathetic investor.
454
00:27:21,877 --> 00:27:25,074
l'll just have to find another way. ''l'll just have to find another way''!
455
00:27:25,117 --> 00:27:26,869
''Build it and they will come''.
456
00:27:26,917 --> 00:27:29,157
Good job one of us can deal with life's harsh realities.
457
00:27:29,157 --> 00:27:30,636
That's you, is it?
458
00:27:30,677 --> 00:27:32,827
There are people who make things happen
459
00:27:32,877 --> 00:27:35,630
and there are people who let things happen to them.
460
00:27:35,677 --> 00:27:38,714
And there are people who shout and get nowhere.
461
00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:42,227
I told you not to go after her! How does she know we care, eh?
462
00:27:42,277 --> 00:27:44,552
lf we don't go after her?
463
00:27:47,557 --> 00:27:49,832
They're probably hiding in a villa and laughing at me.
464
00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:52,477
Don't talk like that. Nobody's laughing at you.
465
00:27:52,477 --> 00:27:53,917
Oh, aren't they?
466
00:27:53,917 --> 00:27:57,307
You might not say much, but I'll bet you're a very deep thinker.
467
00:27:57,357 --> 00:27:58,757
Well, that's right!
468
00:27:58,757 --> 00:28:00,594
l've often worked out who did it
469
00:28:00,594 --> 00:28:02,305
in A Touch of Frost long before DeI Boy!
470
00:28:02,957 --> 00:28:05,425
And you can be funny!
471
00:28:05,477 --> 00:28:08,674
Well, you're the only one who seems to share my sense of humour.
472
00:28:09,677 --> 00:28:13,556
Well, sometimes I think people find you a bit...
473
00:28:13,597 --> 00:28:16,065
..hard to approach.
474
00:28:16,117 --> 00:28:19,029
You just need to relax a bit.
475
00:28:19,077 --> 00:28:20,954
I can't.
476
00:28:20,997 --> 00:28:22,555
Well, you relax with me.
477
00:28:22,597 --> 00:28:26,033
That's different. You make it easy.
478
00:28:26,077 --> 00:28:28,511
You're a lot of fun to be around, James.
479
00:28:28,557 --> 00:28:30,752
Don't let anybody tell you different.
480
00:28:32,437 --> 00:28:35,827
Why can't Hermia see any of this?
481
00:28:35,877 --> 00:28:38,186
Perhaps she just doesn't know where to look.
482
00:28:44,237 --> 00:28:46,068
lf Dad could see me now he'd...
483
00:28:46,117 --> 00:28:47,914
He'd what?
484
00:28:49,437 --> 00:28:52,190
His bark's worse than his bite, right?
485
00:28:52,237 --> 00:28:55,517
I don't know. I've never seen him this angry before.
486
00:28:55,517 --> 00:28:57,557
He wouldn't really come after us, would he?
487
00:28:57,557 --> 00:28:59,309
I wouldn't put it past him.
488
00:29:00,837 --> 00:29:03,829
What was that? What?
489
00:29:03,877 --> 00:29:06,072
There was a sound outside. Like a twig breaking.
490
00:29:06,877 --> 00:29:10,586
Maybe it was a twig breaking.
491
00:29:12,797 --> 00:29:16,756
l'll always remember this.
492
00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:20,392
This will always be our sky,
493
00:29:20,437 --> 00:29:24,555
our night, our stars.
494
00:29:40,477 --> 00:29:42,593
Can I ask you something?
495
00:29:42,637 --> 00:29:45,470
Of course.
496
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:47,757
Did you know about Hermia and Zander before tonight?
497
00:29:47,757 --> 00:29:50,066
No. I promise I didn't.
498
00:29:50,117 --> 00:29:52,836
lf I'd known I'd have told you straight away.
499
00:29:52,877 --> 00:29:55,835
Would you? Of course.
500
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:58,550
l'd never want to see you hurt.
501
00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:00,076
I care about you.
502
00:30:02,197 --> 00:30:05,234
Well, yeah, of course, and I care about you.
503
00:30:09,677 --> 00:30:11,395
Oh! Oh, no. You OK?
504
00:30:11,437 --> 00:30:12,995
Yeah. I think so.
505
00:30:13,037 --> 00:30:14,914
Let me take a look. l'm fine.
506
00:30:14,957 --> 00:30:16,797
Well, there's nothing broken, I don't think.
507
00:30:16,797 --> 00:30:18,594
l'm just clumsy.
508
00:30:31,717 --> 00:30:33,275
What are we doing?
509
00:30:33,317 --> 00:30:35,467
I don't know,
510
00:30:35,517 --> 00:30:37,348
maybe we just got carried away.
511
00:30:37,397 --> 00:30:39,194
Yeah, yeah. That must be it.
512
00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:43,355
Crossed wires, mixed signals, l'm sorry, I'm sorry.
513
00:30:50,037 --> 00:30:54,633
You didn't trip on purpose, did you? No. Of course not.
514
00:30:54,677 --> 00:30:57,794
You don't want me to get back with her, do you?
515
00:30:57,837 --> 00:31:01,466
I want you to be happy! I bet you don't even know where she is.
516
00:31:01,517 --> 00:31:04,157
I bet you just tricked me so you could throw yourself at me.
517
00:31:04,157 --> 00:31:05,636
No! That isn't true!
518
00:31:05,677 --> 00:31:08,350
l'm here because I couldn't stand to see you so hurt!
519
00:31:11,077 --> 00:31:14,706
Now let's forget what happened and just try and find Hermia, shall we?
520
00:31:14,757 --> 00:31:19,672
l'm not falling for that trick again! Don't you come anywhere near me.
521
00:31:19,717 --> 00:31:21,912
I feeI sick just to look at you.
522
00:31:28,517 --> 00:31:32,635
Right. Trick you. Yeah.
523
00:31:34,197 --> 00:31:38,668
Has this man got love-juice or has this man got love-juice?
524
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:42,871
Take some of this.
525
00:31:42,917 --> 00:31:46,830
This young woman here is in love with a young wet who doesn't want to know.
526
00:31:46,877 --> 00:31:50,916
Yeah. Odds and Evens, been there myself. Fairies all over me.
527
00:31:50,957 --> 00:31:52,470
l'm, like, you know, girls!
528
00:31:52,517 --> 00:31:54,109
One at a time!
529
00:31:54,157 --> 00:31:56,512
Drip some of this in the young man's eyes.
530
00:31:56,557 --> 00:31:58,593
Let's make love our mission, eh?
531
00:32:00,637 --> 00:32:02,787
Puck.
532
00:32:02,837 --> 00:32:05,510
What's the plan?
533
00:32:05,557 --> 00:32:08,515
Young wet. Love juice. Eyes.
534
00:32:08,557 --> 00:32:10,707
Three steps to heaven.
535
00:32:13,677 --> 00:32:15,508
Wet bloke alert.
536
00:32:15,557 --> 00:32:19,345
Clothes drying, him still a bit damp round the edges. Result.
537
00:32:21,957 --> 00:32:24,425
lt doesn't look like he hates her
538
00:32:24,477 --> 00:32:29,471
but then he is a bloke, she is needy and a jump's a jump, I suppose.
539
00:32:49,997 --> 00:32:52,670
What you see when you wake,
540
00:32:52,717 --> 00:32:55,311
you will for your true love take.
541
00:32:57,037 --> 00:33:01,667
Splish, splash, splosh. Whoops!
542
00:33:01,717 --> 00:33:03,947
Get out of that!
543
00:33:37,957 --> 00:33:39,675
James, I've found them!
544
00:33:41,277 --> 00:33:43,950
I told you I wasn't tricking you, James!
545
00:33:43,997 --> 00:33:47,228
Hey. Come on, babe. Don't cry.
546
00:33:48,797 --> 00:33:52,790
Why would someone as beautifuI as you cry about James?
547
00:33:52,837 --> 00:33:56,386
I love him. No. You just think you love him.
548
00:33:56,437 --> 00:33:59,668
What's the difference? This.
549
00:33:59,717 --> 00:34:01,673
What are you doing?
550
00:34:01,717 --> 00:34:03,753
Just get off!
551
00:34:03,797 --> 00:34:06,027
I can't believe I didn't see it before.
552
00:34:06,077 --> 00:34:07,597
I knew you couldn't be trusted.
553
00:34:07,597 --> 00:34:10,714
How can I look at Hermia when I could be looking at you? Loving you?
554
00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:12,637
Why should I settle for second best?
555
00:34:12,637 --> 00:34:15,470
You have got some serious commitment issues.
556
00:34:15,517 --> 00:34:17,155
Get some help.
557
00:34:17,197 --> 00:34:19,427
But this is our sky!
558
00:34:19,477 --> 00:34:21,593
This is our night!
559
00:34:21,637 --> 00:34:23,628
These are our stars!
560
00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:41,754
You need a lesson, my Queen.
561
00:34:42,917 --> 00:34:45,557
You think you've got power over me.
562
00:34:45,557 --> 00:34:48,515
But I'm going to show you power.
563
00:34:49,717 --> 00:34:51,753
You think I'm too proud?
564
00:34:51,797 --> 00:34:54,834
I will show you pride.
565
00:35:10,117 --> 00:35:15,749
When you wake up, you will fall in love with the first thing you see.
566
00:35:15,797 --> 00:35:20,996
I will make you feeI so small that you won't ever dare to cross me again.
567
00:35:32,557 --> 00:35:41,465
He was beautiful
568
00:35:41,517 --> 00:35:47,911
BeautifuI to my eyes
569
00:35:47,957 --> 00:35:55,671
From the moment I saw him
570
00:35:55,717 --> 00:36:02,793
The sun filled the skies.
571
00:36:02,837 --> 00:36:06,757
You went a bit wrong there, love. Make sure you tighten up on the night.
572
00:36:06,757 --> 00:36:09,590
A man walked into a pub with a roll of green tarmac on his head.
573
00:36:09,637 --> 00:36:14,472
The barman goes, ''Don't talk to him, he's a cycle path.''
574
00:36:14,517 --> 00:36:17,156
I don't get it. What about the clever stuff?
575
00:36:17,197 --> 00:36:19,108
This is the clever stuff!
576
00:36:19,157 --> 00:36:20,988
ln Wythenshawe, maybe.
577
00:36:21,037 --> 00:36:22,755
Was this your card? No.
578
00:36:22,797 --> 00:36:26,028
No, you're supposed to say yes. But that wasn't my card.
579
00:36:26,077 --> 00:36:29,911
You could be a bit more encouraging. You've got the patter just right.
580
00:36:29,957 --> 00:36:31,515
Excuse me, sir.
581
00:36:31,557 --> 00:36:34,469
Could I possibly relieve you of your watch?
582
00:36:35,997 --> 00:36:37,146
Hey, up.
583
00:36:39,117 --> 00:36:40,948
That's three!
584
00:36:40,997 --> 00:36:45,837
Count them, ladies and gentlemen!
585
00:36:45,837 --> 00:36:47,437
That is more like it.
586
00:36:47,437 --> 00:36:50,429
Now we're talking a top hole entertainment package
587
00:36:50,477 --> 00:36:54,868
as befitting the number one short-break destination of the discerning family.
588
00:36:54,917 --> 00:36:56,953
Now we're talking management calling and saying,
589
00:36:56,997 --> 00:36:59,597
''Why don't The Rude Mechanicals perform the entertainment
590
00:36:59,597 --> 00:37:01,076
''on a regular basis?''
591
00:37:01,117 --> 00:37:04,157
lt'll be my comeback! My agent'll be kicking himself!
592
00:37:05,677 --> 00:37:08,316
I said no impressions. You'll love this.
593
00:37:08,357 --> 00:37:11,315
I'm the only gay in the village.
594
00:37:11,357 --> 00:37:13,632
What? Wait! Wait!
595
00:37:19,677 --> 00:37:23,557
Ta-da! That was a brand new watch!
596
00:37:23,557 --> 00:37:25,707
Didn't look cheap either.
597
00:37:32,797 --> 00:37:36,426
Come on, what about it? Oh, give us a minute. I know this one.
598
00:37:37,357 --> 00:37:40,747
Oh, what are you doing? Are you getting the message here?
599
00:37:40,797 --> 00:37:43,789
What you seem to forget is l've done this for a living.
600
00:37:43,837 --> 00:37:45,987
I know what plays to a live audience!
601
00:37:46,037 --> 00:37:50,155
lf you know what plays, why are you a security guard?
602
00:37:52,277 --> 00:37:54,996
Wait. Watch this one.
603
00:37:55,037 --> 00:37:56,709
That was a bit harsh.
604
00:37:56,757 --> 00:37:58,748
CrueI to be kind.
605
00:38:01,317 --> 00:38:04,707
My name is MichaeI Caine.
606
00:38:04,757 --> 00:38:08,317
My name is MichaeI Caine.
607
00:38:08,317 --> 00:38:09,796
Watch this!
608
00:38:09,837 --> 00:38:11,317
lt'll be top.
609
00:38:11,317 --> 00:38:14,753
My name is MichaeI Caine.
610
00:38:14,797 --> 00:38:18,346
My name is MichaeI Caine.
611
00:38:18,397 --> 00:38:26,157
My name is MichaeI Caine.
612
00:38:27,837 --> 00:38:30,749
My name is MichaeI Caine.
613
00:38:30,797 --> 00:38:32,947
My name is MichaeI Caine.
614
00:38:34,397 --> 00:38:36,308
That was really good, mate.
615
00:38:36,357 --> 00:38:38,951
That was really good, mate.
616
00:38:38,997 --> 00:38:40,988
You've not come to audition, have you?
617
00:38:41,037 --> 00:38:43,915
Only we've got all the impressionists we need.
618
00:38:52,877 --> 00:38:57,237
I said you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
619
00:38:57,237 --> 00:38:59,837
Hell on earth! What have you done to yourself?
620
00:38:59,837 --> 00:39:03,197
Told you it was good, didn't I? Can you see a difference?
621
00:39:03,197 --> 00:39:06,269
Yes, but it's not funny, it's just sick!
622
00:39:06,317 --> 00:39:08,114
Change back, it's freaking me out!
623
00:39:08,157 --> 00:39:10,990
lt's supposed to be an engagement party,
624
00:39:11,037 --> 00:39:13,392
not the Edinburgh pigging Festival!
625
00:39:17,037 --> 00:39:19,426
That man shouldn't be allowed out at night.
626
00:39:21,637 --> 00:39:23,637
lt...it's only a guess.
627
00:39:23,637 --> 00:39:26,549
But is it Ruud Van Nistelrooy?
628
00:39:28,677 --> 00:39:31,510
What's the matter with you lot?
629
00:39:31,557 --> 00:39:33,707
Come back and stop mucking about!
630
00:39:35,437 --> 00:39:37,234
l'm not going after you!
631
00:39:38,797 --> 00:39:40,549
I can entertain myself.
632
00:39:42,117 --> 00:39:43,596
They'll be back.
633
00:39:57,837 --> 00:40:00,988
Strangers in the night
634
00:40:01,037 --> 00:40:06,191
Exchanging glances Wondering in the night
635
00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:11,837
What were the chances we'd be sharing love
636
00:40:11,837 --> 00:40:15,671
Before the night was through...
637
00:40:21,197 --> 00:40:22,869
We both like walking.
638
00:40:22,917 --> 00:40:24,987
We both like reading. Believe me.
639
00:40:25,037 --> 00:40:27,312
l'd prefer illiterate but sincere.
640
00:40:27,357 --> 00:40:29,427
All I'm asking for is a chance.
641
00:40:29,477 --> 00:40:31,991
You turned my best friend's life upside down!
642
00:40:32,037 --> 00:40:35,507
She fell out with her dad for you. She broke James's heart!
643
00:40:37,437 --> 00:40:39,189
Do you believe in fate?
644
00:40:39,237 --> 00:40:40,989
I believe in my judgment.
645
00:40:41,037 --> 00:40:43,471
And I never liked the look of you from the start.
646
00:40:43,517 --> 00:40:45,633
See? That's what I love about you.
647
00:40:45,677 --> 00:40:48,828
l'd rather be slagged off by you than adored by Hermia!
648
00:40:56,157 --> 00:40:58,876
Oh, you came back. Oh, thank God!
649
00:40:58,917 --> 00:41:01,829
Stay away from me! What?
650
00:41:02,837 --> 00:41:04,429
What have you done with him?
651
00:41:04,477 --> 00:41:06,433
What have you done to Zander?!
652
00:41:06,477 --> 00:41:09,275
Come on, calm down. You're hysterical. Ow!
653
00:41:09,317 --> 00:41:10,955
What did you do that for?
654
00:41:12,597 --> 00:41:15,669
lt turned out so right
655
00:41:15,717 --> 00:41:20,472
For strangers in the night.
656
00:41:30,717 --> 00:41:33,311
What nightingale's song woke me?
657
00:41:34,997 --> 00:41:36,635
lt was just me.
658
00:41:41,877 --> 00:41:43,230
My God.
659
00:41:44,797 --> 00:41:47,265
Tell me I'm not dreaming.
660
00:41:49,597 --> 00:41:51,747
You talking to me, love?
661
00:41:51,797 --> 00:41:55,676
Don't tell me with a body like yours
662
00:41:55,717 --> 00:41:58,185
you aren't used to female attention?
663
00:41:59,117 --> 00:42:02,792
Well, I've had my moments.
664
00:42:02,837 --> 00:42:05,757
You don't play second headline at the Poco a Poco Club
665
00:42:05,757 --> 00:42:09,591
without attracting your fair share of fanny.
666
00:42:09,637 --> 00:42:12,026
And when you speak,
667
00:42:12,077 --> 00:42:14,466
it's like poetry.
668
00:42:14,517 --> 00:42:18,590
That's what I've been trying to say to Quince. Gift of the gab.
669
00:42:18,637 --> 00:42:20,753
What's your name?
670
00:42:20,797 --> 00:42:22,594
Bottom.
671
00:42:22,637 --> 00:42:24,517
But you can call me Bootie.
672
00:42:26,077 --> 00:42:28,432
You like that one?
673
00:42:28,477 --> 00:42:30,832
l've got hundreds where that came from.
674
00:42:30,877 --> 00:42:32,390
What do they call you?
675
00:42:32,437 --> 00:42:36,316
Titania. l'm not surprised!
676
00:42:42,077 --> 00:42:44,671
I love a rough man.
677
00:42:44,717 --> 00:42:48,312
They don't come much rougher. Ohhh!
678
00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:50,997
You're my ideaI audience.
679
00:42:50,997 --> 00:42:53,397
What you doing hanging round here, then?
680
00:42:53,397 --> 00:42:55,069
I live here.
681
00:42:55,117 --> 00:42:57,347
l'm Queen of the Fairies.
682
00:42:57,397 --> 00:42:59,353
Oh, yeah.
683
00:42:59,397 --> 00:43:02,787
And I bet you've got gorgeous handmaidens, haven't you?
684
00:43:02,837 --> 00:43:04,793
lf that's what would please you.
685
00:43:13,877 --> 00:43:16,550
lt's bang on, is...
686
00:43:16,597 --> 00:43:18,553
..that.
687
00:43:18,597 --> 00:43:20,588
Wait on him!
688
00:43:20,637 --> 00:43:23,549
Lead him to my love palace!
689
00:43:24,557 --> 00:43:27,788
lt's not nylon sheets, is it? Because I get this rash.
690
00:43:29,637 --> 00:43:32,231
You're not doing this for some kind of bet, are you?
691
00:43:32,277 --> 00:43:34,996
Because I fell for this once before on my stag night.
692
00:43:36,477 --> 00:43:39,389
Of course I'm not married anymore.
693
00:43:39,437 --> 00:43:42,395
She ran off with the bookie.
694
00:43:42,437 --> 00:43:44,189
Love of my life.
695
00:43:44,237 --> 00:43:45,465
The bookie,
696
00:43:45,517 --> 00:43:46,996
not my wife.
697
00:43:51,317 --> 00:43:53,672
I like things to get out of hand.
698
00:43:53,717 --> 00:43:56,185
You know, ''I will lead you up and down'',
699
00:43:56,237 --> 00:43:57,909
that's like my theme tune.
700
00:43:57,957 --> 00:44:02,155
But, uh... This is all turning into a bit of a head-squeeze.
701
00:44:02,197 --> 00:44:05,587
l've got a feeling when I tell Oberon what's happened,
702
00:44:05,637 --> 00:44:07,753
it'll be me getting my head squeezed.
703
00:44:10,477 --> 00:44:12,672
Has Titania woken up?
704
00:44:12,717 --> 00:44:15,311
Oh, yes. And?
705
00:44:15,357 --> 00:44:18,155
A bit of an animaI vibe going on.
706
00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:20,108
What has she fallen in love with?
707
00:44:21,677 --> 00:44:24,589
Well, this donkey man comedian type thing.
708
00:44:26,837 --> 00:44:29,067
Good.
709
00:44:29,117 --> 00:44:30,835
Slut!
710
00:44:30,877 --> 00:44:33,072
The more humiliated, the better.
711
00:44:33,117 --> 00:44:35,506
Too right. That's what I thought.
712
00:44:37,557 --> 00:44:41,596
When he finally had the chance of having you to himself he ran away.
713
00:44:41,637 --> 00:44:44,837
He would never leave me! lt's me that'll never leave you.
714
00:44:44,837 --> 00:44:47,197
lf you have any feelings for me at all
715
00:44:47,197 --> 00:44:49,586
then you'll tell me what you've done to him!
716
00:44:49,637 --> 00:44:54,028
I wish I had hurt him. I really do.
717
00:44:54,077 --> 00:44:56,068
But I haven't. I didn't.
718
00:44:57,637 --> 00:45:00,390
Will you help me to find him, then? Just let him go.
719
00:45:00,437 --> 00:45:03,907
We're better off without him! There is no we!
720
00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:11,511
Welcome to the Globe Diner, sir.
721
00:45:18,557 --> 00:45:21,230
Did you drug this man?
722
00:45:21,277 --> 00:45:23,074
No.
723
00:45:23,117 --> 00:45:25,472
I drugged the young wet bloke. Like you said.
724
00:45:25,517 --> 00:45:28,357
This is the wet bloke I was talking about!
725
00:45:28,357 --> 00:45:30,712
ls it?
726
00:45:30,757 --> 00:45:33,954
But he's dry as a bone. That's not the kind of wet I meant!
727
00:45:33,997 --> 00:45:37,990
ls Puck short for Puck-up? This man is still in love with the wrong woman!
728
00:45:38,037 --> 00:45:40,835
All right, all right. Mistake, you know. No need to...
729
00:45:42,397 --> 00:45:45,275
You give me some more love-juice, or I will give you
730
00:45:45,317 --> 00:45:48,593
a midsummer night's dream where the moon doesn't shine.
731
00:45:50,157 --> 00:45:55,868
l'll handle him. You get the girl, get the boy, and get it sorted.
732
00:45:57,437 --> 00:45:58,916
Now!
733
00:46:08,277 --> 00:46:12,907
Now this will help you see...
734
00:46:16,997 --> 00:46:19,955
..who your true love really is.
735
00:46:22,197 --> 00:46:27,555
lt's just a ride, it's just a ride No need to run, no need to hide
736
00:46:27,597 --> 00:46:29,588
lt'll take you round and round
737
00:46:29,637 --> 00:46:32,595
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
738
00:46:32,637 --> 00:46:34,517
lt's just a ride, it's just a ride...
739
00:46:34,517 --> 00:46:36,473
No-one gets hurt, Puck.
740
00:46:37,957 --> 00:46:42,747
lt may feeI so reaI inside But don't forget it's just a ride.
741
00:46:44,317 --> 00:46:48,469
The thing about the old love-juice, it's a ride, man.
742
00:46:48,517 --> 00:46:51,031
lt's a regular rollercoaster.
743
00:46:54,597 --> 00:46:57,757
lt all makes sense. Don't you see? lt's perfect.
744
00:46:57,757 --> 00:47:01,545
I don't know what you're getting out of this but I'd like it to stop, right now.
745
00:47:01,597 --> 00:47:03,508
James loves her and doesn't love you.
746
00:47:03,557 --> 00:47:05,229
Zander!
747
00:47:05,277 --> 00:47:09,190
What are you doing here? Where did you go? Why did you leave me alone?
748
00:47:09,237 --> 00:47:11,751
I had better things to do.
749
00:47:11,797 --> 00:47:14,516
What? So you're in on it too?
750
00:47:14,557 --> 00:47:17,276
What's going on? Oh, very good, Hermia.
751
00:47:17,317 --> 00:47:19,911
What is it about you that always needs an audience?
752
00:47:19,957 --> 00:47:23,711
What gives you the right to treat me like this?
753
00:47:23,757 --> 00:47:26,874
Will somebody please tell me what's going on?
754
00:47:28,557 --> 00:47:30,309
I love Helena.
755
00:47:30,357 --> 00:47:32,587
And she loves me!
756
00:47:33,677 --> 00:47:35,508
Don't be ridiculous.
757
00:47:37,277 --> 00:47:39,632
Helena? I don't love Zander.
758
00:47:39,677 --> 00:47:41,986
You know I don't. That's right.
759
00:47:43,317 --> 00:47:46,468
Because she loves me. She always has.
760
00:47:46,517 --> 00:47:48,553
Haven't you?
761
00:47:50,397 --> 00:47:53,912
And I've always known it, sort of, somehow, and now I see it.
762
00:47:53,957 --> 00:47:55,185
Oh, I see it.
763
00:47:55,237 --> 00:47:56,795
Hands off. Go back to Hermia!
764
00:47:56,837 --> 00:47:58,395
Zander! lt's you that I want.
765
00:47:58,437 --> 00:48:01,110
Are you following this?
766
00:48:01,157 --> 00:48:03,796
I feeI like I'm wrestling a sackfuI of monkeys here.
767
00:48:03,837 --> 00:48:06,192
When did this remarkable change of heart come about?
768
00:48:06,237 --> 00:48:08,671
I think I first realised it at the youth club.
769
00:48:08,717 --> 00:48:11,675
That time we kissed. That was 1 2 years ago!
770
00:48:11,717 --> 00:48:13,196
Why are you dragging that up?
771
00:48:13,237 --> 00:48:16,309
lt was before Hermia. But part of me knew even then.
772
00:48:16,357 --> 00:48:20,145
But it's taken till now for me to see what my heart has always known...
773
00:48:20,197 --> 00:48:22,037
..what YOUR heart has always known!
774
00:48:22,037 --> 00:48:24,357
Why do you want to talk to me like this?
775
00:48:24,357 --> 00:48:26,557
He's a right old poet when he gets going.
776
00:48:26,557 --> 00:48:28,991
You could write some of this on a card and sell it!
777
00:48:29,037 --> 00:48:31,312
Get off my girlfriend!
778
00:48:32,397 --> 00:48:36,151
All this time you were Miss Butter Wouldn't Melt with your nose in a book.
779
00:48:36,197 --> 00:48:37,755
Friend!
780
00:48:37,797 --> 00:48:41,790
Some friend. I don't know what he sees in you!
781
00:48:41,837 --> 00:48:45,432
ls it your big brain and your sensible shoes?
782
00:48:45,477 --> 00:48:48,787
Perhaps he felt he needed a decent conversation every now and again.
783
00:48:49,877 --> 00:48:54,951
You two-faced conniving little bitch!
784
00:49:03,157 --> 00:49:04,829
Helena!
785
00:49:07,557 --> 00:49:08,672
Wasn't me.
786
00:49:12,717 --> 00:49:15,026
She's mine!
787
00:49:19,037 --> 00:49:20,993
The kid's fast.
788
00:49:21,037 --> 00:49:23,028
I wanted to see a punch-up.
789
00:49:23,077 --> 00:49:24,749
You wanted to see a punch-up.
790
00:49:24,797 --> 00:49:28,267
But Oberon's got this old ''nobody gets hurt'' thing going on.
791
00:49:28,317 --> 00:49:30,917
What you gonna do?
792
00:49:43,077 --> 00:49:46,786
Some people are made for each other
793
00:49:46,837 --> 00:49:50,273
Some people can love one another for life...
794
00:49:50,317 --> 00:49:52,706
Where did you learn to make love like that?
795
00:49:52,757 --> 00:49:57,069
Dedication. I've studied lots of books and videos over the years.
796
00:50:02,117 --> 00:50:05,393
Peaseblossom, l've got a pain in me neck.
797
00:50:05,437 --> 00:50:07,553
You wouldn't mind, would you?
798
00:50:16,477 --> 00:50:18,707
I don't know what I've done to deserve this.
799
00:50:18,757 --> 00:50:21,635
But to tell you the truth,
800
00:50:21,677 --> 00:50:23,713
what I'd really like is a nice carrot.
801
00:50:27,637 --> 00:50:29,593
I need a shave. I know that much.
802
00:50:29,637 --> 00:50:32,868
No! Don't change a thing.
803
00:50:32,917 --> 00:50:35,795
You're perfect.
804
00:50:35,837 --> 00:50:37,793
Give over!
805
00:50:44,557 --> 00:50:45,956
We must sleep now.
806
00:50:45,997 --> 00:50:49,990
No. I don't want to sleep. This is the best night of my life.
807
00:50:50,037 --> 00:50:51,868
I don't want it to end. Sshhh!
808
00:51:14,317 --> 00:51:15,909
I give up.
809
00:51:18,077 --> 00:51:20,591
I give up.
810
00:51:20,637 --> 00:51:23,595
You were right.
811
00:51:23,637 --> 00:51:25,309
l've gone about this all wrong.
812
00:51:26,877 --> 00:51:28,390
Come here.
813
00:51:29,637 --> 00:51:31,787
You did your best.
814
00:51:31,837 --> 00:51:35,273
You did what you thought was right.
815
00:51:35,317 --> 00:51:38,627
lt's just nerves. That's all it is.
816
00:51:38,677 --> 00:51:40,793
I think if I could make her see that...
817
00:51:40,837 --> 00:51:46,230
Maybe marrying her first love was never the best of ideas.
818
00:51:46,277 --> 00:51:48,393
lt worked for us, didn't it?
819
00:51:49,957 --> 00:51:51,913
Yeah, it did.
820
00:51:53,477 --> 00:51:56,355
But maybe she needs to find her own way.
821
00:51:56,397 --> 00:51:59,070
She'll be all right, you know.
822
00:51:59,117 --> 00:52:01,506
She WlLL be all right.
823
00:52:01,557 --> 00:52:03,513
Have you seen Helena anywhere?
824
00:52:03,557 --> 00:52:06,025
l'll bet she would know something!
825
00:52:06,077 --> 00:52:10,275
Helena will be enjoying the vast and extensive facilities,
826
00:52:10,317 --> 00:52:13,115
like you could be enjoying mine.
827
00:52:14,837 --> 00:52:17,431
What do you think you're doing?
828
00:52:18,517 --> 00:52:20,508
Just what I always do.
829
00:52:21,717 --> 00:52:24,106
Thinking of your own gratification.
830
00:52:25,117 --> 00:52:27,995
No. I'm thinking about you.
831
00:52:29,557 --> 00:52:31,707
Thinking, ''How can I distract you?
832
00:52:31,757 --> 00:52:34,032
''How can I make you feeI better?
833
00:52:34,077 --> 00:52:37,149
''How can I make you happy?''
834
00:52:37,197 --> 00:52:40,507
Oh, don't go putting yourself out on my account.
835
00:52:40,557 --> 00:52:42,946
You know what?
836
00:52:42,997 --> 00:52:44,555
l'm sick of this.
837
00:52:44,597 --> 00:52:47,191
Join the club. No.
838
00:52:47,237 --> 00:52:50,547
I mean, I'm sick of your sarcasm.
839
00:52:50,597 --> 00:52:55,432
And I'm sick of the fact that you never listen to me or anybody else!
840
00:52:55,477 --> 00:52:57,707
I always listen to you. You don't listen!
841
00:52:57,757 --> 00:53:01,272
You just stand there and wait for me to stop talking! I'm sick of it.
842
00:53:01,317 --> 00:53:05,390
And I'm sick of you having to control every second of every waking day!
843
00:53:05,437 --> 00:53:08,395
What's got into you? I'm the angry one. You're the calm one.
844
00:53:08,437 --> 00:53:14,148
Well, maybe after 26 years, it's MY turn to be the angry one!
845
00:53:14,197 --> 00:53:17,477
Because guess what? lnside I'm angry too!
846
00:53:17,477 --> 00:53:19,397
Except I've got to bottle it up
847
00:53:19,397 --> 00:53:22,594
because you're so irritable all the time we have to tiptoe around you.
848
00:53:22,637 --> 00:53:24,877
Why do you think your daughter nearly got married
849
00:53:24,877 --> 00:53:26,708
to a man she didn't even love?
850
00:53:26,757 --> 00:53:28,713
Because of your temper, that's why!
851
00:53:28,757 --> 00:53:32,955
And that's why she's out there now in the middle of nowhere with a stranger.
852
00:53:32,997 --> 00:53:35,192
lt's your fault and nobody else's!
853
00:53:35,237 --> 00:53:37,114
Cos here is the news!
854
00:53:37,157 --> 00:53:39,113
We all feeI angry!
855
00:53:39,157 --> 00:53:41,432
We all feeI disappointed!
856
00:53:41,477 --> 00:53:43,866
But most of us just get on with it!
857
00:53:50,677 --> 00:53:52,793
Helena?
858
00:53:57,477 --> 00:53:59,468
Zander!
859
00:54:03,117 --> 00:54:04,869
Let's talk!
860
00:54:06,797 --> 00:54:08,867
Please?
861
00:54:13,597 --> 00:54:17,636
Dad! Dad, it's all gone wrong!
862
00:54:31,037 --> 00:54:36,191
lt's OK. lt'll all be OK.
863
00:55:18,077 --> 00:55:19,874
Why is it...?
864
00:55:19,917 --> 00:55:22,226
I mean, how can they...?
865
00:55:24,357 --> 00:55:29,385
When you do what you think is right over the years
866
00:55:29,437 --> 00:55:31,712
and it's been wrong all along!
867
00:55:31,757 --> 00:55:36,387
Why would she want to live with it all this time if that's what she really thinks?
868
00:55:36,437 --> 00:55:38,155
Maybe she loves you.
869
00:55:38,197 --> 00:55:40,153
She doesn't even LlKE me!
870
00:55:40,197 --> 00:55:42,233
That's the strange thing about women.
871
00:55:42,277 --> 00:55:45,474
They can love us even when we're irritating the hell out of them.
872
00:55:45,517 --> 00:55:49,226
When they love you, they love you. No conditions.
873
00:55:49,277 --> 00:55:51,507
That doesn't make any sense.
874
00:55:51,557 --> 00:55:55,835
lt's not supposed to. With them, it's a force of nature.
875
00:55:55,877 --> 00:55:57,390
lt's a foreign language.
876
00:55:57,437 --> 00:55:59,029
You think YOU'VE got troubles?
877
00:55:59,077 --> 00:56:04,026
My wife... Well, she's flirting with a low-budget circus freak.
878
00:56:04,077 --> 00:56:08,036
ls it possible to ask why?
879
00:56:08,077 --> 00:56:10,033
We fought.
880
00:56:10,077 --> 00:56:12,830
She sulked, she refused to help.
881
00:56:12,877 --> 00:56:17,473
So I thought I'd make her see sense by, you know, making a fooI out of her.
882
00:56:17,517 --> 00:56:21,715
So now she's in love with a bloke who looks like a donkey.
883
00:56:21,757 --> 00:56:25,466
l'm no expert, but that doesn't sound like the best idea you've ever had.
884
00:56:25,517 --> 00:56:27,872
I thought we'd established that you know nothing about women.
885
00:56:27,917 --> 00:56:29,477
And you do, I suppose?
886
00:56:29,477 --> 00:56:31,354
Well, at least I know where your daughter is.
887
00:56:31,397 --> 00:56:33,477
What are we waiting for? No.
888
00:56:33,477 --> 00:56:35,832
She's got some things to sort out.
889
00:56:35,877 --> 00:56:38,835
She won't come to any harm. That's easy for you to say!
890
00:56:38,877 --> 00:56:41,835
She won't come to any harm.
891
00:56:41,877 --> 00:56:43,868
So I just sit here and wait?
892
00:56:43,917 --> 00:56:47,148
Well, you could use the time making it up with your wife.
893
00:56:47,197 --> 00:56:50,314
Oh! Here speaks the expert on maritaI bliss.
894
00:56:50,357 --> 00:56:54,270
Hey, just because I got it wrong doesn't mean YOU need to get it wrong too.
895
00:56:54,317 --> 00:56:55,750
You just go in there
896
00:56:55,797 --> 00:57:00,507
and you say the three magic phrases that all women love to hear.
897
00:57:00,557 --> 00:57:01,956
''l'm sorry.''
898
00:57:01,997 --> 00:57:03,589
''I love you.''
899
00:57:03,637 --> 00:57:05,275
And ''You were right.''
900
00:57:05,317 --> 00:57:07,831
l'm not sure she deserves it.
901
00:57:07,877 --> 00:57:10,710
There was this man.
902
00:57:10,757 --> 00:57:15,911
And he lived his life always worrying that something bad was going to happen.
903
00:57:15,957 --> 00:57:19,427
He had a beautifuI wife, a wonderfuI family.
904
00:57:19,477 --> 00:57:21,195
He was rich and he was successful.
905
00:57:21,237 --> 00:57:25,992
But he couldn't enjoy it because he knew that something bad was going to happen.
906
00:57:26,037 --> 00:57:28,995
So, after a full and charmed life,
907
00:57:29,037 --> 00:57:32,825
at the age of 1 20, he realised he was dying.
908
00:57:32,877 --> 00:57:37,553
And as he lay on his death bed he looked his wife in the eye
909
00:57:37,597 --> 00:57:43,115
and he said, ''See? I told you something bad was going to happen.''
910
00:57:43,157 --> 00:57:44,875
And that's supposed to be me?
911
00:57:46,757 --> 00:57:49,146
Well, I'm not that rich for a start.
912
00:57:49,197 --> 00:57:52,234
Just enjoy what you've got, Theo.
913
00:57:52,277 --> 00:57:55,155
Just enjoy what you've got.
914
00:57:55,197 --> 00:57:56,869
That's good coming from you.
915
00:58:14,917 --> 00:58:17,590
Look how tenderly she holds him.
916
00:58:17,637 --> 00:58:19,514
That's right.
917
00:58:19,557 --> 00:58:23,436
And tenderly strokes his big furry ears!
918
00:58:23,477 --> 00:58:25,115
This is ugly!
919
00:58:26,677 --> 00:58:28,747
This is sick! I know.
920
00:58:28,797 --> 00:58:31,789
lt's the cat's nadgers, though, isn't it?
921
00:58:31,837 --> 00:58:34,510
My anger did this. Not her.
922
00:58:34,557 --> 00:58:37,390
I did it and I want it undone.
923
00:58:37,437 --> 00:58:40,588
Oh, you're King of the Fairies. You're supposed to be angry!
924
00:58:40,637 --> 00:58:42,548
Turn the clown back to normal.
925
00:58:42,597 --> 00:58:44,872
Make him think he had a dream.
926
00:58:44,917 --> 00:58:47,909
Sort of dream you never want to wake up from.
927
00:58:47,957 --> 00:58:50,073
What did you say?
928
00:58:50,117 --> 00:58:52,347
Nothing, nothing.
929
00:59:01,477 --> 00:59:04,230
Now go and put things right with the young lovers.
930
00:59:04,277 --> 00:59:07,792
Oh, but they're funnier when they're all messed up on love juice!
931
00:59:07,837 --> 00:59:10,909
Apply the antidote to James and Zander.
932
00:59:10,957 --> 00:59:12,629
And do it properly, Puck.
933
00:59:12,677 --> 00:59:14,668
I haven't got time! lt's nearly light.
934
00:59:14,717 --> 00:59:18,551
Get this right or I'll have you turned into a novelty key ring!
935
00:59:18,597 --> 00:59:21,794
Coming up, love potion number nine.
936
00:59:26,677 --> 00:59:30,033
Serve it up
937
00:59:30,077 --> 00:59:33,752
Love potion number nine...
938
00:59:36,197 --> 00:59:39,985
A waste of perfectly good love juice. He has his reasons.
939
00:59:40,037 --> 00:59:45,509
Oberon always has his reasons, but if you ask me, he's losing his grip.
940
00:59:47,317 --> 00:59:49,626
Right. OK.
941
00:59:55,357 --> 00:59:59,316
When you wake up, you shall delight in the sight of Hermia again.
942
01:00:12,637 --> 01:00:15,026
Make your passion for Helena real.
943
01:00:16,557 --> 01:00:20,835
Jack shall have Jill. Jill shall have Jack. Blah...blah.
944
01:00:35,077 --> 01:00:36,597
l'm going to gather some mushrooms,
945
01:00:36,597 --> 01:00:39,430
have a good old boil-up and get a bit of a wobble on!
946
01:00:39,477 --> 01:00:40,910
See you in a bit.
947
01:00:47,717 --> 01:00:49,196
Well, l, erm...
948
01:00:50,757 --> 01:00:52,236
I think I should...
949
01:00:56,797 --> 01:01:01,746
I just never knew I made you feeI like that.
950
01:01:01,797 --> 01:01:04,157
The way you said I made you feel,
951
01:01:04,157 --> 01:01:08,597
always having to be the calm one while I was blowing up all the time.
952
01:01:08,597 --> 01:01:12,351
I just... I didn't realise.
953
01:01:12,397 --> 01:01:17,915
I just thought that you were better at dealing with the bad stuff.
954
01:01:20,117 --> 01:01:22,108
And I...
955
01:01:23,357 --> 01:01:25,393
..I love you for that.
956
01:01:25,437 --> 01:01:28,509
Hell, I'm in awe of you for that.
957
01:01:30,077 --> 01:01:35,105
And now I know. Now I know it's how you feel
958
01:01:35,157 --> 01:01:41,426
and I will try not to be so angry all the time.
959
01:01:42,997 --> 01:01:44,749
And the bossing people around.
960
01:01:44,797 --> 01:01:49,473
That's just my way of looking after you and Hermia
961
01:01:49,517 --> 01:01:51,872
and I guess it must have just got out of hand.
962
01:01:52,957 --> 01:01:55,869
l'll give it up. I promise. I'll try.
963
01:01:57,437 --> 01:02:01,794
Because...I want us to be happy.
964
01:02:04,117 --> 01:02:06,915
I want you to be happy, Polly.
965
01:02:08,677 --> 01:02:11,316
Hip?
966
01:02:11,357 --> 01:02:14,030
My love hippo? Hmm?
967
01:02:14,077 --> 01:02:15,556
Hippo?
968
01:02:19,717 --> 01:02:24,393
At least give me a sign. I feeI like I'm talking to a coma victim in Holby City.
969
01:02:36,597 --> 01:02:41,307
Be as you are, see as you saw
970
01:02:41,357 --> 01:02:44,235
and awake to a new dawn.
971
01:03:05,517 --> 01:03:08,236
I dreamt that I was in love with an ass.
972
01:03:09,237 --> 01:03:10,750
And then I woke up.
973
01:03:12,437 --> 01:03:14,871
And what do you know?. I still am.
974
01:03:14,917 --> 01:03:16,873
l'm sorry.
975
01:03:16,917 --> 01:03:18,908
I love you.
976
01:03:20,517 --> 01:03:22,667
And you were right.
977
01:03:22,717 --> 01:03:25,072
What's happened? Why are you being like this?
978
01:03:25,117 --> 01:03:27,506
What if I were to tell you...
979
01:03:27,557 --> 01:03:30,355
..no more stupid rage.
980
01:03:30,397 --> 01:03:32,592
l'd say it was a start.
981
01:03:32,637 --> 01:03:34,195
No more commands.
982
01:03:34,237 --> 01:03:36,797
I never listen to your commands anyway.
983
01:03:36,837 --> 01:03:39,032
No more jealousy.
984
01:03:40,597 --> 01:03:42,349
Why should I believe you?
985
01:03:43,357 --> 01:03:45,393
Because I've seen the damage it does.
986
01:03:47,397 --> 01:03:51,470
O, how thy worth with manners may I sing
987
01:03:51,517 --> 01:03:54,714
When thou art all the better part of me?
988
01:03:54,757 --> 01:03:58,591
Sweet love, renew thy force.
989
01:03:58,637 --> 01:04:04,109
Be it not said thy edge should blunter be than appetite.
990
01:04:04,157 --> 01:04:10,915
My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep.
991
01:04:10,957 --> 01:04:14,791
The more I give to thee, the more I have,
992
01:04:14,837 --> 01:04:16,987
for both are infinite.
993
01:04:20,317 --> 01:04:22,069
How I love thee!
994
01:04:25,117 --> 01:04:26,789
How I dote on thee!
995
01:05:53,397 --> 01:05:55,467
How did we all get back here?
996
01:05:57,077 --> 01:05:58,556
I don't know.
997
01:06:01,437 --> 01:06:04,907
So you don't remember anything about last night?
998
01:06:06,397 --> 01:06:08,911
No. No.
999
01:06:08,957 --> 01:06:11,755
Not even saying I was boring?
1000
01:06:11,797 --> 01:06:14,550
I was upset.
1001
01:06:14,597 --> 01:06:17,634
lt was a strange night.
1002
01:06:19,397 --> 01:06:22,070
Do you really think I need an audience? No.
1003
01:06:22,117 --> 01:06:25,427
Well, maybe when we were younger.
1004
01:06:27,157 --> 01:06:29,077
Those times when boys were kissing me
1005
01:06:29,077 --> 01:06:31,386
and you used to stand outside the phone box.
1006
01:06:31,437 --> 01:06:33,473
And in the next seat in the cinema, yes.
1007
01:06:35,037 --> 01:06:38,666
I liked you being there because it made me feeI safe.
1008
01:06:38,717 --> 01:06:40,594
I wasn't trying to show off.
1009
01:06:40,637 --> 01:06:42,628
No. I know.
1010
01:07:04,197 --> 01:07:05,596
What's up?
1011
01:07:10,677 --> 01:07:13,032
Why are you being like this?
1012
01:07:13,077 --> 01:07:16,956
That's rich after the way you behaved last night!
1013
01:07:16,997 --> 01:07:18,510
What do you mean?
1014
01:07:18,557 --> 01:07:22,157
Oh, so you don't remember saying that you loved Helena then?
1015
01:07:22,157 --> 01:07:24,227
What?! Helena?
1016
01:07:26,957 --> 01:07:30,711
I remember going to sleep in that cabin,
1017
01:07:30,757 --> 01:07:33,555
then nothing till I woke up here.
1018
01:07:33,597 --> 01:07:35,986
So you don't remember pushing me away?
1019
01:07:36,037 --> 01:07:38,949
Of course I didn't push you away.
1020
01:07:38,997 --> 01:07:40,271
l'd never do that.
1021
01:07:41,717 --> 01:07:43,355
You must have been dreaming.
1022
01:07:44,917 --> 01:07:46,953
Maybe I was.
1023
01:07:47,997 --> 01:07:52,149
What's going on? I don't know.
1024
01:08:14,477 --> 01:08:16,945
What? THEO: Hermia?
1025
01:08:16,997 --> 01:08:19,192
Dad!
1026
01:08:24,117 --> 01:08:26,028
Whoever you choose,
1027
01:08:26,077 --> 01:08:30,229
whoever you want to be with, as long as you're happy.
1028
01:08:38,637 --> 01:08:40,707
Sorry, James.
1029
01:08:40,757 --> 01:08:43,066
That's fine. I don't love your daughter anymore, Theo.
1030
01:08:43,117 --> 01:08:44,789
Oh, I see!
1031
01:08:44,837 --> 01:08:47,032
What? Something happened.
1032
01:08:47,077 --> 01:08:49,317
I can't explain. You lot!
1033
01:08:49,317 --> 01:08:51,837
You nearly gave Theo a heart attack. And for what?
1034
01:08:51,837 --> 01:08:55,386
Polly. I know you want to be the angry one now and then,
1035
01:08:55,437 --> 01:08:56,916
but everybody's happy.
1036
01:08:58,477 --> 01:08:59,990
POLLY: Yes, they are.
1037
01:09:00,037 --> 01:09:02,710
Although I would like some sort of an explanation.
1038
01:09:02,757 --> 01:09:06,989
By some power, my love for Hermia has melted like snow.
1039
01:09:09,437 --> 01:09:12,588
Well, we better get moving, we've got a party to get ready for.
1040
01:09:14,117 --> 01:09:15,948
Your mother and l,
1041
01:09:15,997 --> 01:09:17,874
we're going to renew our vows.
1042
01:09:17,917 --> 01:09:20,117
Oh, that's fantastic!
1043
01:09:20,117 --> 01:09:21,157
Congratulations!
1044
01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:25,992
Are we? Really? Really.
1045
01:09:26,037 --> 01:09:29,632
That's if you would like to celebrate our new start and all that.
1046
01:09:29,677 --> 01:09:31,668
Yes, I would.
1047
01:09:31,717 --> 01:09:33,389
Yes, I would!
1048
01:09:33,437 --> 01:09:36,235
So when did you think of this then?
1049
01:09:36,277 --> 01:09:39,517
lf I told you a big fairy whispered it to me, would you believe me?
1050
01:09:39,517 --> 01:09:41,109
Did you get that as well?
1051
01:09:41,157 --> 01:09:45,673
There must be something in the air. (Laughs)
1052
01:09:47,637 --> 01:09:50,397
Tripping off their heads, every last one of them!
1053
01:09:50,397 --> 01:09:52,957
Maybe they've opened their eyes for the first time.
1054
01:09:52,957 --> 01:09:55,232
lt's amazing what that can do for people!
1055
01:09:56,317 --> 01:09:58,785
They can't just change their minds like that!
1056
01:09:58,837 --> 01:10:02,989
They can and they have. lt's mother and father now, not daughter and son-in-law.
1057
01:10:03,037 --> 01:10:04,550
You got a new shirt, by the way?
1058
01:10:04,597 --> 01:10:06,906
I just thought I'd make a bit of an effort.
1059
01:10:06,957 --> 01:10:08,675
lt won't be easy without Bottom.
1060
01:10:08,717 --> 01:10:11,117
He was struggling, anyway, all that animaI stuff.
1061
01:10:11,117 --> 01:10:12,630
Too alternative for this crowd.
1062
01:10:12,677 --> 01:10:14,827
Bottom's not turned up? He's run out on us.
1063
01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:18,790
Hopefully seeking psychiatric help. We're stuffed without him.
1064
01:10:18,837 --> 01:10:21,590
l'll slip in a couple of extra songs. We should pull out.
1065
01:10:21,637 --> 01:10:24,515
They'll make do with a disco and a 3-course gala dinner.
1066
01:10:24,557 --> 01:10:27,390
We can't do it without Bottom, anyway. We can't cancel!
1067
01:10:27,437 --> 01:10:29,553
lf this is cancelled I'll get the sack!
1068
01:10:29,597 --> 01:10:31,872
Nobody's gonna sack you for pulling out of a gig.
1069
01:10:31,917 --> 01:10:34,431
They are if you've already taken the fee.
1070
01:10:34,477 --> 01:10:36,911
What fee? You never said anything about any fee!
1071
01:10:36,957 --> 01:10:39,073
You said this was new duties.
1072
01:10:39,117 --> 01:10:41,187
I was going to share it out after the gig.
1073
01:10:41,237 --> 01:10:43,357
I didn't want to put any pressure on you!
1074
01:10:43,357 --> 01:10:45,517
Oh, yeah? And what paid for your new guitar?
1075
01:10:45,517 --> 01:10:47,633
And the watch! And the shirt!
1076
01:10:47,677 --> 01:10:49,997
You know what it's like when you get started on catalogues.
1077
01:10:49,997 --> 01:10:51,430
How much have you been paid?
1078
01:10:51,477 --> 01:10:52,705
300.
1079
01:10:52,757 --> 01:10:54,917
Oh. And what?
1080
01:10:54,917 --> 01:10:57,357
99. You thieving git!
1081
01:10:57,357 --> 01:10:58,756
Right.
1082
01:10:58,797 --> 01:11:01,675
That's 1 50 each. Me, Snout and Snug.
1083
01:11:01,717 --> 01:11:04,072
Otherwise... Well, we're just not going on.
1084
01:11:04,117 --> 01:11:06,677
That leaves me with less than what I started with.
1085
01:11:06,717 --> 01:11:08,673
lt's that or the sack, Quincy boy!
1086
01:11:24,797 --> 01:11:28,346
You look nice. Thanks.
1087
01:11:28,397 --> 01:11:30,991
Was there anything else?
1088
01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:32,868
A bit of cloud talk?
1089
01:11:32,917 --> 01:11:36,273
Well, the main thing I want to say,
1090
01:11:36,317 --> 01:11:43,234
the main thing you need to know is something's changed - in here.
1091
01:11:43,277 --> 01:11:45,791
What might that be?
1092
01:11:45,837 --> 01:11:48,637
I don't feeI angry or upset about Hermia anymore.
1093
01:11:49,957 --> 01:11:53,836
Because I realise that I've got you.
1094
01:11:53,877 --> 01:11:56,914
So, I'm what? The consolation prize?
1095
01:11:56,957 --> 01:11:59,676
No! No, I didn't mean it like that.
1096
01:11:59,717 --> 01:12:01,867
I meant... lt's like...
1097
01:12:01,917 --> 01:12:04,795
James, last night you humiliated me!
1098
01:12:04,837 --> 01:12:08,034
Well, there were one or two hiccups, admittedly.
1099
01:12:08,077 --> 01:12:11,069
And now you're talking to me like it never even happened.
1100
01:12:11,117 --> 01:12:13,347
But I've changed! Well, good for you.
1101
01:12:13,397 --> 01:12:17,356
Maybe I've changed too. Maybe l've stopped being such a pushover!
1102
01:12:27,117 --> 01:12:30,427
Just when you're thinking things over
1103
01:12:31,877 --> 01:12:35,347
And you need a set of vows
1104
01:12:36,557 --> 01:12:40,550
And when the sweetness you're saving
1105
01:12:40,597 --> 01:12:44,637
ls all the sweetness you doubt
1106
01:12:44,637 --> 01:12:46,992
I'm coming home
1107
01:12:47,037 --> 01:12:51,508
You look good when your heart is on fire
1108
01:12:51,557 --> 01:12:54,071
lt's a matter of taste, yeah
1109
01:12:55,197 --> 01:12:59,031
You do it fine You don't follow the line
1110
01:12:59,077 --> 01:13:01,671
Find the sun...
1111
01:13:06,317 --> 01:13:09,548
I have loved you, Polly, for as long as I've known you.
1112
01:13:09,597 --> 01:13:13,306
But somewhere... somewhere along the way,
1113
01:13:13,357 --> 01:13:16,235
I stopped telling you.
1114
01:13:16,277 --> 01:13:19,030
And that is why I'm so glad
1115
01:13:19,077 --> 01:13:25,107
that here, today, in front of our friends and our loved ones,
1116
01:13:25,157 --> 01:13:28,832
I am able to tell you exactly what is in my heart.
1117
01:13:30,397 --> 01:13:34,390
And this will surprise you, because it certainly surprised me.
1118
01:13:36,197 --> 01:13:37,710
l've written a poem.
1119
01:13:40,677 --> 01:13:44,465
''Yours is the voice I hope to hear
1120
01:13:44,517 --> 01:13:48,430
''When my phone says one missed call.
1121
01:13:48,477 --> 01:13:52,026
''Yours are the hands I want holding my ladder
1122
01:13:52,077 --> 01:13:55,706
''When I'm papering the stairs and the hall.
1123
01:13:55,757 --> 01:14:00,547
''Yours is the face I long to see when I'm delayed at Waterloo.
1124
01:14:00,597 --> 01:14:04,476
''Yours is the duvet I long to share
1125
01:14:04,517 --> 01:14:06,957
''When my Calor Gas is through.
1126
01:14:06,957 --> 01:14:11,428
''Yours is the sartoriaI eye that I crave
1127
01:14:11,477 --> 01:14:14,549
''When I'm having last-minute suit-doubts.
1128
01:14:16,117 --> 01:14:18,711
''Yours is the hand that I want to hold
1129
01:14:18,757 --> 01:14:23,228
''During funerals and penalty shoot-outs.
1130
01:14:25,357 --> 01:14:28,190
''Long before my mind was made up,
1131
01:14:28,237 --> 01:14:31,912
''My heart belonged to you.
1132
01:14:31,957 --> 01:14:36,189
''At last I'm listening to all that it says
1133
01:14:36,237 --> 01:14:40,674
''And I hope that you are too.''
1134
01:14:58,277 --> 01:15:00,313
You'll be all right once you get on.
1135
01:15:00,357 --> 01:15:02,917
I can't. Just try and think about the money.
1136
01:15:02,957 --> 01:15:04,709
I know I am! OK, chaps.
1137
01:15:04,757 --> 01:15:07,635
Let's get moving on the old entertainment front, shall we?
1138
01:15:07,677 --> 01:15:10,908
Yes, sure. Any moment. We do have an agreed timetable!
1139
01:15:10,957 --> 01:15:13,949
OK, fine. One second.
1140
01:15:13,997 --> 01:15:15,669
I can't do it without Bottom.
1141
01:15:15,717 --> 01:15:18,550
I could do it when he was here. You'll be fine.
1142
01:15:18,597 --> 01:15:20,508
You're not getting it, are you?
1143
01:15:20,557 --> 01:15:22,593
Bottom is not gonna turn up.
1144
01:15:22,637 --> 01:15:25,231
We will never hear his terrible gags ever again!
1145
01:15:25,277 --> 01:15:26,756
All right, Quince!
1146
01:15:26,797 --> 01:15:28,594
Or should I say, ''Wince''!
1147
01:15:28,637 --> 01:15:30,593
Bottom! Oh, mate!
1148
01:15:30,637 --> 01:15:32,229
I knew you wouldn't let us down.
1149
01:15:32,277 --> 01:15:34,154
You made it then. Where've you been?
1150
01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,313
More a case of where HAVEN'T I been.
1151
01:15:36,357 --> 01:15:38,473
l've just had the night of my life.
1152
01:15:38,517 --> 01:15:40,906
Maybe, but we better get on with the show.
1153
01:15:40,957 --> 01:15:43,027
Oh, yeah? Like a dream.
1154
01:15:43,077 --> 01:15:44,795
From start to finish. lt was...
1155
01:15:44,837 --> 01:15:46,555
Well, a dream.
1156
01:15:46,597 --> 01:15:48,508
That's the only way I can explain it.
1157
01:15:48,557 --> 01:15:50,946
So I take it there was a woman involved?
1158
01:15:50,997 --> 01:15:53,795
No. Three women!
1159
01:15:53,837 --> 01:15:55,509
There'll be time for this later.
1160
01:15:55,557 --> 01:15:57,513
They left with smiles on their faces.
1161
01:15:57,557 --> 01:16:00,754
I take it you didn't tell any jokes. Odd you should mention that.
1162
01:16:00,797 --> 01:16:03,914
I did try some material. They couldn't get enough of me.
1163
01:16:03,957 --> 01:16:06,312
Thought I was hilarious.
1164
01:16:06,357 --> 01:16:08,188
You had me believing you till then.
1165
01:16:15,797 --> 01:16:21,474
Ladies and gentlemen, our first act here is ready to bamboozle you,
1166
01:16:21,517 --> 01:16:25,635
to enchant you, to beguile you with some close-up magic.
1167
01:16:25,677 --> 01:16:27,717
lt's Mr Snug.
1168
01:16:32,077 --> 01:16:34,307
Thanks. Hi.
1169
01:16:36,357 --> 01:16:39,474
So, surely, erm...
1170
01:16:39,517 --> 01:16:45,592
this is a bottle of, er, unopened water made of glass?
1171
01:16:45,637 --> 01:16:47,229
Tell me something I don't know.
1172
01:16:49,477 --> 01:16:53,834
And, er, this is a metaI coin of the realm.
1173
01:16:55,437 --> 01:16:58,873
So, how can it be, I hear you ask...
1174
01:16:58,917 --> 01:17:01,715
ALL: How can it be?
1175
01:17:01,757 --> 01:17:05,670
How can it be that when I do this...
1176
01:17:05,717 --> 01:17:07,197
What, it makes a ringing sound?
1177
01:17:07,197 --> 01:17:08,630
No.
1178
01:17:11,437 --> 01:17:13,348
That this happens.
1179
01:17:18,477 --> 01:17:20,229
This happens...
1180
01:17:25,197 --> 01:17:27,188
Wait.
1181
01:17:41,837 --> 01:17:43,907
Thank you.
1182
01:17:46,157 --> 01:17:47,636
I thank you!
1183
01:17:47,677 --> 01:17:52,353
Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to penetrate your mind.
1184
01:18:09,997 --> 01:18:11,988
Are you all right?
1185
01:18:13,757 --> 01:18:14,985
Are you happy?
1186
01:18:15,037 --> 01:18:16,675
Couldn't be happier.
1187
01:18:16,717 --> 01:18:19,470
Good. I was worried about you.
1188
01:18:19,517 --> 01:18:20,996
Not because of you and James,
1189
01:18:21,037 --> 01:18:24,397
but because you didn't feel you could come to us, or at least me,
1190
01:18:24,397 --> 01:18:26,149
and talk about it.
1191
01:18:26,197 --> 01:18:27,915
Because you can, you know. I know.
1192
01:18:27,957 --> 01:18:30,630
And I'm sorry about the engagement party.
1193
01:18:30,677 --> 01:18:32,235
You shouldn't be.
1194
01:18:32,277 --> 01:18:36,316
Besides, if you hadn't cancelled, l wouldn't be getting another wedding day.
1195
01:18:38,037 --> 01:18:41,916
l've never seen Dad like this, all romantic.
1196
01:18:41,957 --> 01:18:43,675
He was always romantic.
1197
01:18:43,717 --> 01:18:47,869
Was he? lt just...sort of got buried.
1198
01:18:47,917 --> 01:18:50,917
But I always knew his romantic side would come back out again
1199
01:18:50,917 --> 01:18:52,748
when the time was right.
1200
01:18:52,797 --> 01:18:55,357
Are you sure that wasn't just wishfuI thinking?
1201
01:18:55,397 --> 01:18:57,437
You can't build a marriage on wishfuI thinking.
1202
01:18:57,437 --> 01:18:59,393
I thought you'd realise that by now.
1203
01:19:02,037 --> 01:19:05,029
He seems like a nice lad. He is.
1204
01:19:05,077 --> 01:19:07,193
Amazing, really, given his upbringing.
1205
01:19:07,237 --> 01:19:09,353
l'm sure.
1206
01:19:09,397 --> 01:19:13,026
All that wealth and he's come out of the other end so sussed.
1207
01:19:14,597 --> 01:19:16,076
All what wealth?
1208
01:19:18,957 --> 01:19:22,233
And I believe this is your card, sir.
1209
01:19:22,277 --> 01:19:24,108
lt is indeed!
1210
01:19:29,797 --> 01:19:31,116
Helena!
1211
01:19:36,117 --> 01:19:38,073
No marks for originality, sunshine!
1212
01:19:43,237 --> 01:19:50,473
He was beautiful...
1213
01:19:50,517 --> 01:19:52,826
You and me, we sort of belong together.
1214
01:19:54,557 --> 01:19:57,435
Why have you always hung around with Hermia and me?
1215
01:19:58,517 --> 01:19:59,996
And why did I never mind, eh?
1216
01:20:00,037 --> 01:20:02,551
So what are you trying to say here?
1217
01:20:02,597 --> 01:20:05,316
Well, basically...
1218
01:20:05,357 --> 01:20:10,067
l'm... lt's... You see, it's to do with the love thing, isn't it?
1219
01:20:10,117 --> 01:20:12,995
The love thing? Yeah.
1220
01:20:13,037 --> 01:20:15,710
You know. You and me.
1221
01:20:15,757 --> 01:20:18,066
Over the years. And now it's obvious.
1222
01:20:18,117 --> 01:20:21,507
Although with one or two hiccups. Well, maybe more than one or two.
1223
01:20:21,557 --> 01:20:25,277
And, not entirely to blame, personalities. Mix-ups. But...
1224
01:20:25,277 --> 01:20:26,426
But?
1225
01:20:28,837 --> 01:20:31,476
Well, isn't it obvious? Not really.
1226
01:20:31,517 --> 01:20:33,075
Why, I as good as said it.
1227
01:20:33,117 --> 01:20:34,914
But you DlDN'T say it.
1228
01:20:35,837 --> 01:20:37,111
I love you.
1229
01:20:38,437 --> 01:20:40,507
There!
1230
01:20:42,637 --> 01:20:44,117
I LOVE YOU !
1231
01:20:44,117 --> 01:20:45,948
Shut up! Right.
1232
01:20:54,357 --> 01:20:56,268
Other people's families, eh?
1233
01:20:56,317 --> 01:20:58,035
Always a nightmare.
1234
01:20:58,077 --> 01:21:01,831
Oh, this is nothing compared to my lot.
1235
01:21:01,877 --> 01:21:04,869
My parents would never do anything like this.
1236
01:21:04,917 --> 01:21:08,626
Far too stuffy. Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
1237
01:21:08,677 --> 01:21:11,953
lt's all that money, you see. lt's crippled them.
1238
01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:15,034
Well, that can happen.
1239
01:21:15,077 --> 01:21:17,591
Thank goodness Grandad put my inheritance into a trust.
1240
01:21:17,637 --> 01:21:20,947
At least I can be more creative with my share.
1241
01:21:20,997 --> 01:21:24,626
Open up a gallery, maybe. Or a flotation tank studio, perhaps.
1242
01:21:24,677 --> 01:21:26,986
l'm sorry?
1243
01:21:27,037 --> 01:21:28,629
lt's art, Zander.
1244
01:21:28,677 --> 01:21:31,316
lt's just not hanging on a gallery wall. Cheers!
1245
01:21:32,917 --> 01:21:35,277
And now for some fun and frivolity,
1246
01:21:35,277 --> 01:21:39,557
DreamPark is proud to present... Mr Nicholas Bottom.
1247
01:21:46,117 --> 01:21:47,917
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1248
01:21:47,917 --> 01:21:49,316
Good evening!
1249
01:21:49,357 --> 01:21:52,906
Aren't trousers funny when you think about it?
1250
01:21:52,957 --> 01:21:54,754
Not really!
1251
01:21:54,797 --> 01:21:57,117
Ah, I see we've got a comedian in the house.
1252
01:21:57,117 --> 01:21:58,186
That's a relief.
1253
01:21:58,237 --> 01:21:59,437
When does he come on?
1254
01:22:00,557 --> 01:22:04,675
You may be quick-witted, sir, but that can't compensate for the fact
1255
01:22:04,717 --> 01:22:08,232
you look like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.
1256
01:22:10,557 --> 01:22:13,993
I got a job as a postman the other week.
1257
01:22:14,037 --> 01:22:18,474
lt's not very much, but, you know, it's better than walking the streets.
1258
01:22:18,517 --> 01:22:23,466
Eh? Better than walking the streets?
1259
01:22:23,517 --> 01:22:26,236
Did you ever deliver any French letters? No.
1260
01:22:26,277 --> 01:22:29,508
But I wish I'd delivered one to your father.
1261
01:22:30,477 --> 01:22:34,516
Because then he wouldn't have had you, see?
1262
01:22:35,757 --> 01:22:37,634
Does anyone like impressions?
1263
01:22:37,677 --> 01:22:40,037
As long as it's an impression of a comedian.
1264
01:22:42,917 --> 01:22:47,945
My little boy came home from schooI the other day
1265
01:22:47,997 --> 01:22:49,477
and said he'd been learning
1266
01:22:49,477 --> 01:22:51,991
about Columbus going 5,000 miles on a galleon.
1267
01:22:52,037 --> 01:22:55,837
I said, ''You don't want to believe everything you hear
1268
01:22:55,837 --> 01:22:57,597
''about those foreign cars.''
1269
01:23:08,357 --> 01:23:10,746
I was going down the street the other day
1270
01:23:10,797 --> 01:23:14,995
and who should I bump into but The Office's Mr David Brent.
1271
01:23:53,277 --> 01:23:57,190
I wasn't born offensive. I had to practise.
1272
01:23:57,237 --> 01:24:01,515
Some people get offended for no reason!
1273
01:24:01,557 --> 01:24:04,754
But if you did get offended, the best thing?
1274
01:24:06,317 --> 01:24:10,469
The third and finaI nugget from the Bank of Puck -
1275
01:24:10,517 --> 01:24:12,394
pretend it were a dream.
1276
01:24:12,437 --> 01:24:14,029
lt works every time.
1277
01:24:17,917 --> 01:24:19,396
Hold still.
1278
01:24:38,557 --> 01:24:40,707
All I'm saying is,
1279
01:24:40,757 --> 01:24:42,748
that if we've upset you,
1280
01:24:42,797 --> 01:24:46,346
then I can come round to yours and sort you out.
1281
01:24:46,397 --> 01:24:50,072
l'm not a liar. I really will.
1282
01:24:50,117 --> 01:24:51,596
Trust me.
97107
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