All language subtitles for BBC Shakespeare Retold - 4 a.midsummer.nights.dream.2005.dvdrip.xvid-zoton2.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,477 --> 00:00:18,993 Serve it up Love potion number nine. 2 00:00:19,037 --> 00:00:21,073 MAN: All I know is this isn't my fault. 3 00:00:21,117 --> 00:00:23,197 WOMAN: You're blaming me because you're angry? 4 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:24,312 l'm not angry. 5 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,995 Yes, you are. l'm not. 6 00:00:26,037 --> 00:00:27,037 You are! 7 00:00:27,037 --> 00:00:30,507 Well, I am now because you're accusing me of being angry when I'm not. 8 00:00:30,557 --> 00:00:32,115 So it's my fault? 9 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,751 lt's your fault I've got two days to save a marriage 10 00:00:34,797 --> 00:00:36,310 and only me and Puck to do it. 11 00:00:36,357 --> 00:00:40,191 And me. Yes, and you are such a great help! 12 00:00:40,237 --> 00:00:42,751 Fine. lf I'm no use, do it all yourself. 13 00:00:42,797 --> 00:00:45,834 I didn't mean that. Pity. Because I did. 14 00:00:54,557 --> 00:00:57,025 Two lessons in life, mate. 15 00:00:57,077 --> 00:01:00,865 Two gold nuggets from the Bank of Puck. 16 00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:02,555 One. 17 00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:05,065 Never leave home without your love-juice. 18 00:01:06,637 --> 00:01:08,753 Two. 19 00:01:08,797 --> 00:01:12,267 Things aren't always what they appear to be. 20 00:01:12,317 --> 00:01:16,754 The eyes are the window to the soul. 21 00:01:16,797 --> 00:01:19,516 But now and again we all need a good window cleaner. 22 00:01:21,557 --> 00:01:25,675 Hold still. Don't want to have your eye out. 23 00:01:43,597 --> 00:01:45,792 All I know is this isn't my fault. 24 00:01:45,837 --> 00:01:48,397 So you're blaming me because you're angry? 25 00:01:48,437 --> 00:01:50,792 Oberon and Titania. 26 00:01:50,837 --> 00:01:52,873 King and Queen of the Fairies. 27 00:01:52,917 --> 00:01:54,794 Dance. Ritual. 28 00:01:54,837 --> 00:01:57,829 Magic. Nature. Danger. 29 00:01:57,877 --> 00:02:01,631 A right old cosmic harmony vibe going on. 30 00:02:01,677 --> 00:02:03,827 And me. Yes. Yes. 31 00:02:03,877 --> 00:02:07,233 And you are such a great help! Fine. 32 00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:09,237 lf I'm no use, 33 00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:11,193 do it all yourself. 34 00:02:11,237 --> 00:02:13,432 I didn't mean that. 35 00:02:13,477 --> 00:02:16,071 Pity, because I did. 36 00:02:17,877 --> 00:02:20,914 I told you things can look a bit different, didn't I? 37 00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:24,472 This is the gig. We bring couples here in times of need. 38 00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:27,668 We look after them when they've run into trouble, love-wise. 39 00:02:27,717 --> 00:02:30,914 Help them see each other again. Put them back on the right track. 40 00:02:30,957 --> 00:02:33,994 We're kind of like a spirituaI Relate. 41 00:02:38,357 --> 00:02:42,396 We blessed this couple's wedding 26 years ago. 42 00:02:42,437 --> 00:02:44,557 And we've brought them here to DreamPark 43 00:02:44,557 --> 00:02:47,469 to celebrate their daughter's engagement. 44 00:02:47,517 --> 00:02:50,634 James will be driving. He won't be able to text. 45 00:02:50,677 --> 00:02:53,555 Yeah, yeah. That'll be it. 46 00:02:58,117 --> 00:03:01,189 Hello there. Welcome to DreamPark. 47 00:03:01,237 --> 00:03:03,387 Do you have your booking slips, sir? Yes, indeed. 48 00:03:05,077 --> 00:03:07,397 Oh, yes, the Premium Villa. Very nice. 49 00:03:07,397 --> 00:03:10,597 lt's a very speciaI occasion, my daughter's getting engaged. 50 00:03:10,597 --> 00:03:12,394 Oh, lovely! 51 00:03:12,437 --> 00:03:14,717 That's two villas in Foxglove and one in Bluebell. 52 00:03:14,717 --> 00:03:17,515 No, no, sorry, that's not right. 53 00:03:17,557 --> 00:03:18,956 Leave this to me. 54 00:03:20,157 --> 00:03:24,196 I think you'll find everything's in order... l'd like to check, please. 55 00:03:44,317 --> 00:03:46,433 Hey! You! 56 00:03:47,157 --> 00:03:50,229 Hello? Hello? Come in! 57 00:03:50,277 --> 00:03:54,395 Over! Foxtrot? Tango? Hokey-pokey? 58 00:03:59,637 --> 00:04:03,835 Foxglove. Foxglove. Bluebell. 59 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,129 l'm no Alan Titchmarsh 60 00:04:06,129 --> 00:04:08,635 but it seems to me you've got your flowers mixed up! 61 00:04:08,635 --> 00:04:09,435 You booked in the same area? 62 00:04:09,477 --> 00:04:13,390 No. I thought it'd be fun standing here arguing with you! Yes. Three villas. 63 00:04:13,437 --> 00:04:15,428 Same area. Did you confirm by telephone? 64 00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:18,717 lt's my daughter's engagement party. I left nothing to chance. 65 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,717 Perhaps your accent confused the operator. 66 00:04:20,717 --> 00:04:23,311 As you can see, Bluebell is very close to Foxglove. 67 00:04:23,357 --> 00:04:24,995 lt's clearly at least a mile! 68 00:04:25,037 --> 00:04:27,505 I find with a larger party a little privacy is no bad thing. 69 00:04:27,557 --> 00:04:29,627 Listen, pal. I tell you what I'll do. 70 00:04:29,677 --> 00:04:33,037 Have another of our complimentary packs just to help soften the disappointment. 71 00:04:33,037 --> 00:04:35,077 Not that you should feel any disappointment 72 00:04:35,077 --> 00:04:38,865 or that DreamPark is in any way in a position to admit any liability. 73 00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:40,430 DreamPark? 74 00:04:40,477 --> 00:04:42,945 More like Nightmare Park! 75 00:04:45,597 --> 00:04:48,757 l'm the officiaI welcome party 76 00:04:48,757 --> 00:04:52,989 and I think I should give Theo a welcome that he'll never forget. 77 00:04:53,037 --> 00:04:54,709 lt's the least I can do. 78 00:04:59,077 --> 00:05:03,195 My daughter and James have known each other all their life, 79 00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:05,592 which, as they say, is a lifetime. 80 00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:08,629 And today on this very speciaI occasion 81 00:05:08,677 --> 00:05:11,197 we look forward to welcoming him once again... 82 00:05:11,197 --> 00:05:12,186 Dad? 83 00:05:12,237 --> 00:05:14,114 Yes, what is it? 84 00:05:16,157 --> 00:05:17,749 ls this not a good time? 85 00:05:17,797 --> 00:05:19,674 No. No. lt's fine! lt's fine! 86 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:24,752 Hey. Come on, what's the problem? 87 00:05:26,197 --> 00:05:29,667 Well, I don't really know how to put this but... 88 00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:34,030 Are you OK? 89 00:05:34,077 --> 00:05:36,193 Yeah, of course I am. 90 00:05:36,237 --> 00:05:37,750 The occasion's getting to me 91 00:05:37,797 --> 00:05:41,472 because I want everything to be just right, for you and for James. 92 00:05:41,517 --> 00:05:43,473 Everything just perfect. 93 00:05:46,237 --> 00:05:49,274 When you married Mum... 94 00:05:49,317 --> 00:05:51,911 Did you know?. ln your heart? 95 00:05:51,957 --> 00:05:53,549 Did you know that she was...? (Clears throat) 96 00:05:53,597 --> 00:05:55,713 Well, did you know that...? 97 00:05:55,757 --> 00:05:57,748 What? 98 00:05:59,557 --> 00:06:01,037 Dad? Sorry. 99 00:06:01,037 --> 00:06:03,028 You were saying something about Mum. 100 00:06:05,357 --> 00:06:07,666 I know this is a bit late but... 101 00:06:09,477 --> 00:06:14,710 Well, I sometimes look at James and... 102 00:06:14,757 --> 00:06:18,033 And I look at James and... and I think that... 103 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:20,386 Dad? Are you even listening? 104 00:06:20,437 --> 00:06:23,827 Sorry, just feeling a little bit tense just now. 105 00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:29,429 Maybe later, hey, darling? Yeah. 106 00:06:29,477 --> 00:06:31,308 Sure. 107 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,917 Thanks. 108 00:06:34,957 --> 00:06:38,074 Get a grip. Get a grip. 109 00:06:40,437 --> 00:06:43,554 Well, that seemed to go all right, didn't it? 110 00:06:43,597 --> 00:06:45,189 l'd know him anywhere. 111 00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:49,594 Jeans, white trainers, climbed up the fence like it wasn't even there. 112 00:06:49,637 --> 00:06:53,596 You are sure it was a man and not a...big cat or something? 113 00:06:53,637 --> 00:06:58,392 No way. No. I could tell he wasn't a cat because of the rucksack. 114 00:06:58,437 --> 00:07:00,234 That's usually a clincher. 115 00:07:25,197 --> 00:07:30,590 My lovely husband Theo is now going to say a few words! 116 00:07:30,637 --> 00:07:33,105 A few?. That'll be a first! 117 00:07:33,157 --> 00:07:34,670 Oh, Geoff. 118 00:07:34,717 --> 00:07:37,914 Well, thank you, Polly. 119 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:43,907 Our Hermia and this fine young fellow, James Demetrius, 120 00:07:43,957 --> 00:07:47,916 have known each other quite a while. 121 00:07:47,957 --> 00:07:51,154 Well, all their lives as a matter of fact. 122 00:07:51,197 --> 00:07:53,995 And when they used to share a bath together... 123 00:07:54,037 --> 00:07:56,187 What do you mean? Used to? 124 00:07:56,237 --> 00:08:00,549 We would joke that one day... 125 00:08:00,597 --> 00:08:03,597 ..that one day they'd get married. 126 00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:09,513 And watching them grow up together and Helena too... 127 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:14,028 l've always said that Hermia isn't an only child, 128 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,194 because Helena has always been like a sister to her, 129 00:08:17,237 --> 00:08:19,626 the best sister that a girI could ever want! 130 00:08:22,597 --> 00:08:25,395 l'm never going to get this right for tomorrow, am I? 131 00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:26,950 You have to. 132 00:08:26,997 --> 00:08:29,830 lf we get it right for the engagement party, 133 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:33,836 I reckon the big-wigs are looking to make us full-time entertainers. 134 00:08:33,877 --> 00:08:36,117 Not paying us any more though, are they? 135 00:08:36,117 --> 00:08:38,187 Not yet, maybe. That's him. 136 00:08:38,237 --> 00:08:39,989 That's him! Yes! 137 00:08:40,037 --> 00:08:42,790 Oi! Hey, you! 138 00:08:42,837 --> 00:08:44,793 We're onto you! 139 00:08:48,597 --> 00:08:51,236 Come on, son! The fun's over! 140 00:08:51,277 --> 00:08:53,347 You don't want us letting the dogs out! 141 00:09:03,357 --> 00:09:05,951 Should we call for back-up? 142 00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:07,988 We are the back-up! 143 00:09:08,037 --> 00:09:10,870 Back in the forest? There's no point. 144 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,670 He knows we're on to him. He'll be halfway home by now. 145 00:09:13,717 --> 00:09:17,187 Come on, I've got to talk to Quince about the running order. 146 00:09:17,237 --> 00:09:18,750 As long as I'm not first up. 147 00:09:18,797 --> 00:09:23,712 And if I could choose a man, if I was going to choose a man 148 00:09:23,757 --> 00:09:27,750 to marry my daughter, then it would be the one that she's chosen. 149 00:09:27,797 --> 00:09:29,677 James Demetrius! 150 00:09:32,757 --> 00:09:34,668 Stop! 151 00:09:34,717 --> 00:09:35,706 Stop! 152 00:09:37,397 --> 00:09:40,070 What the hell... Don't do this! 153 00:09:41,557 --> 00:09:44,913 Stop this now! I'm begging you! 154 00:09:44,957 --> 00:09:48,347 Just don't! Please! 155 00:09:48,397 --> 00:09:50,388 Call Security, Polly! 156 00:09:54,317 --> 00:09:56,228 I love you! 157 00:09:57,637 --> 00:09:59,150 He's with me. 158 00:10:00,237 --> 00:10:01,636 What?! 159 00:10:04,957 --> 00:10:06,595 He's with me. 160 00:10:06,637 --> 00:10:10,312 I mean, who is he? What is he? 161 00:10:10,357 --> 00:10:13,508 Me and Zander... 162 00:10:13,557 --> 00:10:15,277 ..love each other very much. 163 00:10:15,277 --> 00:10:16,949 Don't be stupid. You cannot... 164 00:10:16,997 --> 00:10:20,517 l'm sorry, but it's true. lf there'd been any other way of doing it... 165 00:10:20,517 --> 00:10:22,712 Oh, let me think! 166 00:10:22,757 --> 00:10:25,794 What about standing on the table and urinating in the drinks?! 167 00:10:25,837 --> 00:10:27,907 Dad! Please! What is going on here? 168 00:10:27,957 --> 00:10:30,717 She can't just change her mind like that! 169 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:34,187 I tried to tell you, and you wouldn't listen! 170 00:10:34,237 --> 00:10:38,116 Do you work with Hermia, Zander? ls that how you met? 171 00:10:38,157 --> 00:10:42,469 No, I don't work at the moment. l've not found out what I want to do. 172 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,597 Oh, let me just lie down and die right here. 173 00:10:45,597 --> 00:10:47,030 Hermia? 174 00:10:47,077 --> 00:10:48,795 James. 175 00:10:48,837 --> 00:10:52,147 l'm really sorry. I should've told you sooner. 176 00:10:52,197 --> 00:10:55,269 You can't love somebody just like that. l've known you all my life! 177 00:10:55,317 --> 00:10:58,707 l've missed her all my life. ls he on drugs? He's talking scribble! 178 00:10:58,757 --> 00:11:00,397 Just calm down, Theo. 179 00:11:00,397 --> 00:11:02,911 I love her. Anybody can say that! 180 00:11:02,957 --> 00:11:05,232 But you never did. 181 00:11:05,277 --> 00:11:08,906 That is not true! I was always telling you! 182 00:11:08,957 --> 00:11:11,471 I used to say, ''I love you''. 183 00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:14,987 And you used to say, ''Me too''. 184 00:11:17,837 --> 00:11:19,517 Hermia. 185 00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:24,671 I just wanted to do something very special just for you and James. That's all! 186 00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:27,072 Why do you want to ruin everything like this? 187 00:11:27,117 --> 00:11:30,905 I just want you to be happy for me. 188 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:34,427 You're about to make the biggest mistake of your life! How can I be happy? 189 00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:36,707 Please, Dad. I would have told you sooner 190 00:11:36,757 --> 00:11:39,317 but I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you! 191 00:11:39,357 --> 00:11:42,155 You want to kill me instead? lf I don't marry James, you'll die? 192 00:11:42,197 --> 00:11:44,757 You'll break my heart, I might as well be dead! 193 00:12:11,477 --> 00:12:14,708 Just let them go, Theo. Let them go. 194 00:12:14,757 --> 00:12:17,146 You can't bully her into loving James. 195 00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:20,828 Nobody leaves! Nobody goes anywhere! 196 00:12:20,877 --> 00:12:22,917 There will be an engagement party tomorrow 197 00:12:22,917 --> 00:12:25,147 and we will be toasting the happy couple! 198 00:12:25,197 --> 00:12:27,506 Theo, you heard her. They've split up. 199 00:12:27,557 --> 00:12:32,157 James Demetrius and Hermia Moon will be getting engaged tomorrow at noon. 200 00:12:32,157 --> 00:12:33,954 So in the meantime, 201 00:12:33,997 --> 00:12:37,956 please enjoy the holiday experience of a lifetime as per timetable. 202 00:12:42,797 --> 00:12:44,276 Oh, don't. 203 00:12:48,957 --> 00:12:51,949 One minute you're... 204 00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:54,192 or you think you're... 205 00:12:54,237 --> 00:12:56,512 and the next it's not been understood. 206 00:13:04,837 --> 00:13:07,351 She is the one thing that I want. 207 00:13:07,397 --> 00:13:10,116 She is it. 208 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,954 She's just... 209 00:13:16,197 --> 00:13:18,870 So whatever you had to say, 210 00:13:18,917 --> 00:13:20,635 it's not going to help. 211 00:13:23,037 --> 00:13:27,677 Snug. Between courses you give them card tricks and conjuring 212 00:13:27,677 --> 00:13:29,793 appropriate to the genteeI surroundings. 213 00:13:29,837 --> 00:13:33,546 David Blaine says to do magic, you make your mind go completely blank. 214 00:13:33,597 --> 00:13:35,077 lt's an engagement party 215 00:13:35,077 --> 00:13:37,637 so I'll open proceedings with Theme From The Deer Hunter, 216 00:13:37,637 --> 00:13:42,074 congratulations to the celebrants and then the highlight. 217 00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:45,348 l'll storm it! l'm talking about the juggling. 218 00:13:45,397 --> 00:13:49,072 l've mastered the diabolos and the three club chase. 219 00:13:49,117 --> 00:13:52,393 lt's a running buffet. So unicycles are persona non grata. 220 00:13:52,437 --> 00:13:53,995 Understood. 221 00:13:54,037 --> 00:13:57,029 Now, Bottom, you come on after they've had a few drinks. 222 00:13:57,077 --> 00:14:00,114 Just the clever gags. No smut. Family crowd. 223 00:14:00,157 --> 00:14:03,866 Then Flute here rounds it all off accompanied by yours truly 224 00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:06,112 on my brand-new replica Les Paul. 225 00:14:08,997 --> 00:14:11,591 You come into money? I thought I'd make the extra effort. 226 00:14:11,637 --> 00:14:13,787 lf The Rude Mechanicals are going to impress. 227 00:14:13,837 --> 00:14:16,556 l'll see you at rehearsals. And get there on time. 228 00:14:16,597 --> 00:14:18,277 Yeah, yeah. l'm on the graveyard shift tonight. 229 00:14:18,277 --> 00:14:19,637 Sure. See you later. 230 00:14:19,637 --> 00:14:22,276 Excuse me, do you want to get off those railings? 231 00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:25,516 This running order. 232 00:14:25,557 --> 00:14:28,833 There will be room for my impressions, won't there? 233 00:14:28,877 --> 00:14:33,587 l've been entrusted to put together an evening of contemporary entertainment. 234 00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:36,121 Contemporary? I do a David Brent 235 00:14:36,121 --> 00:14:37,537 now that has people roaring. 236 00:14:37,537 --> 00:14:38,597 With all due respect, 237 00:14:38,597 --> 00:14:41,589 your impressions do not always measure up to DreamPark's exacting standards. 238 00:14:43,277 --> 00:14:45,666 l'll see you at rehearsals. 239 00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:48,709 When you see my Little Britain you'll be begging for more! 240 00:14:50,517 --> 00:14:53,156 The thing that Quince doesn't understand is that 241 00:14:53,197 --> 00:14:56,826 when I played the Alhambra, Bradford, I stormed it. 242 00:14:56,877 --> 00:14:59,437 I tell you, they went to see Bernie and Schnorbitz 243 00:14:59,437 --> 00:15:01,314 but they came away talking about me! 244 00:15:01,357 --> 00:15:03,791 Who are Bernie and Schnorbitz? 245 00:15:05,997 --> 00:15:07,555 Not there! 246 00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:10,868 Best make a move, I suppose. 247 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:16,393 Hermia, I really don't think we should hang around. 248 00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:18,029 Did you bring an extra towel? 249 00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:23,349 Hey, come on. 250 00:15:23,397 --> 00:15:26,434 lt's over now. lt's behind you. 251 00:15:26,477 --> 00:15:28,354 You've got through the hardest bit. 252 00:15:30,957 --> 00:15:33,551 You'd better be worth it, buster. 253 00:15:38,157 --> 00:15:40,717 You are... 254 00:15:40,757 --> 00:15:42,634 ..so...so... 255 00:15:42,677 --> 00:15:46,989 lf you knew how much I wanted you. 256 00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:59,757 Remember me? LoyaI friend, all-round gooseberry and voice of reason? 257 00:15:59,757 --> 00:16:02,112 Hi, Helen. Helena! 258 00:16:06,637 --> 00:16:08,867 How well do you even know him? 259 00:16:10,197 --> 00:16:12,757 How come you've never mentioned him to me before? 260 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:16,233 I knew you'd stick up for James. I know how fond you are of him. 261 00:16:16,277 --> 00:16:18,916 Fonder than you by the looks of things. 262 00:16:18,957 --> 00:16:21,517 l'm not doing this to hurt James. 263 00:16:21,557 --> 00:16:25,869 l'm doing it because I've found the person I really, really love. 264 00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:28,385 Hermia. Come on! 265 00:16:30,077 --> 00:16:32,307 You think I'm making a mistake with Zander, don't you? 266 00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:35,155 No. I think you're making a terrible mistake. 267 00:16:35,197 --> 00:16:37,517 When you find someone you love as much as I love him, 268 00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:38,916 then you'll understand. 269 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,869 At least go and talk to your dad before you go. 270 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,589 No! 271 00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:45,787 You heard him. 272 00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:49,147 l've broken his heart. ln other words, you can't face him. 273 00:16:49,197 --> 00:16:52,075 He thought James and I were perfect. 274 00:16:52,117 --> 00:16:53,675 He thinks we are perfect. 275 00:16:53,717 --> 00:16:59,189 But you wouldn't have gone through with the engagement, would you? 276 00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:05,386 We have to go. Where are you going to go at this time? 277 00:17:05,437 --> 00:17:07,348 Zander's found an empty villa. 278 00:17:07,397 --> 00:17:09,592 He's going to break in! Oh, very mature. 279 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,992 I love her. So you keep saying. 280 00:17:12,037 --> 00:17:14,312 Just be happy for us, Helena. 281 00:17:20,477 --> 00:17:24,595 You're not going anywhere. You'll do something you'll regret. 282 00:17:24,637 --> 00:17:26,309 The girI clearly needs time. 283 00:17:26,357 --> 00:17:29,269 Time to run off who knows where with a 'Big lssue' seller. 284 00:17:29,317 --> 00:17:32,150 He's not a tramp. He's just unemployed. 285 00:17:32,197 --> 00:17:35,473 You say that like I should be reassured! She doesn't even know him! 286 00:17:35,517 --> 00:17:37,235 She's changed her mind. 287 00:17:37,277 --> 00:17:40,235 Charging after her like a raging bull is not going to help her change it back. 288 00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:43,952 Who is this Zander bloke anyway? lt's as if he's brainwashed her! 289 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:47,876 Maybe she just feels confused. 290 00:17:47,917 --> 00:17:50,590 Pressured. 291 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:54,755 Maybe the man she thought she loved doesn't make her heart sing anymore. 292 00:17:56,677 --> 00:17:58,077 lt does happen. 293 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,387 Yes, well, last time I looked the heart was an internaI organ. 294 00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:04,190 The chances of it singing seem remote at best. 295 00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:06,387 When you've finished mouthing off this new age drivel 296 00:18:06,437 --> 00:18:09,429 perhaps you could address yourself to the issues in hand. 297 00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:12,275 She didn't feeI she could come to us and talk about it. 298 00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:16,230 Don't you think that's what we should be worried about? 299 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,276 I suppose. 300 00:18:23,597 --> 00:18:25,906 She's a headstrong girl, 301 00:18:25,957 --> 00:18:27,868 that's for certain. 302 00:18:29,837 --> 00:18:32,305 And we both know where she gets that from. 303 00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:40,113 Have you got any idea what's going on out there? lt's falling apart! 304 00:18:40,157 --> 00:18:41,795 Theo and Polly need us! 305 00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:45,227 And I'm sure that you and that ruffian Puck are coping. 306 00:18:45,277 --> 00:18:47,837 He seemed very eager to impress you. 307 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,435 And what about you? 308 00:18:49,477 --> 00:18:52,389 l'll be very active just as soon as I hear your apology. 309 00:18:52,437 --> 00:18:55,076 Apology? Apology! I am the King! 310 00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:57,267 So start acting like one. 311 00:18:57,317 --> 00:19:00,275 I am. And I command you to get your act together 312 00:19:00,317 --> 00:19:02,353 and help me save Polly and Theo! 313 00:19:02,397 --> 00:19:04,547 You don't command me. 314 00:19:04,597 --> 00:19:06,588 Nobody commands me. 315 00:19:06,637 --> 00:19:10,550 I think you'll find that the King can, and that happens to be me. 316 00:19:10,597 --> 00:19:13,031 So I command you to get your finger out! 317 00:19:13,077 --> 00:19:14,795 And why should I obey? Why?! 318 00:19:16,357 --> 00:19:20,350 lt is tradition! Oh, yes, tradition. 319 00:19:20,397 --> 00:19:25,232 The place we like to hide when we have lost the argument. 320 00:19:26,197 --> 00:19:29,189 lll met by moonlight, Titania. 321 00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:31,592 I am King of the Fairies. 322 00:19:33,717 --> 00:19:35,230 Of course you are. 323 00:19:37,397 --> 00:19:39,228 Anybody can see that. 324 00:19:39,277 --> 00:19:43,065 That's right. Your regaI bearing. 325 00:19:43,117 --> 00:19:45,551 Your authority. 326 00:19:45,597 --> 00:19:47,269 Your eloquence. 327 00:19:47,317 --> 00:19:50,593 Well, it's in the blood, that's true. 328 00:19:50,637 --> 00:19:53,390 You don't need courtiers or servants or staff 329 00:19:53,437 --> 00:19:55,314 to tell the world you're a King. 330 00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:04,313 You...just need to make an entrance and everyone feels inclined to bow. 331 00:20:04,357 --> 00:20:06,234 Agreed? 332 00:20:06,277 --> 00:20:09,269 Agreed. 333 00:20:09,317 --> 00:20:11,877 You don't need anyone. 334 00:20:13,437 --> 00:20:17,112 That's right. So you don't need me. 335 00:20:17,157 --> 00:20:20,069 I would stop this, if I were you, Titania. 336 00:20:20,117 --> 00:20:22,108 Or I will make you regret it! 337 00:20:22,157 --> 00:20:23,670 l'm getting bored. 338 00:20:25,237 --> 00:20:27,705 So what are we going to do now?. Cancel? 339 00:20:27,757 --> 00:20:29,270 No. 340 00:20:29,317 --> 00:20:32,195 No. lt'll be fine. You're joking, aren't you? 341 00:20:32,237 --> 00:20:36,549 Every time you two meet, you frighten the pixies! How can you help anyone? 342 00:20:36,597 --> 00:20:38,588 You just keep an eye on the mortals. 343 00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:41,754 l'm going to find a way to teach my Queen a lesson! 344 00:20:47,157 --> 00:20:51,275 My advice to these two is move away from the forest. 345 00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:53,148 Make a clean start. 346 00:20:53,197 --> 00:20:57,031 Because there's something about this place that does your head in. 347 00:20:57,077 --> 00:21:00,513 lt's, like, all this nature, it's... 348 00:21:00,557 --> 00:21:02,468 Well, it's unnatural. 349 00:21:02,517 --> 00:21:04,075 lsn't it? 350 00:21:04,117 --> 00:21:06,631 A double whisky. No extras. 351 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,716 There you go, sir. 352 00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:18,155 Pour it like you mean it. 353 00:21:28,557 --> 00:21:29,990 Do I...? 354 00:21:31,437 --> 00:21:34,110 I know you from somewhere, don't I? 355 00:21:34,157 --> 00:21:37,547 Stockport Registry Office. 1 979. 356 00:21:39,117 --> 00:21:41,506 I was at your wedding. Really? 357 00:21:41,557 --> 00:21:45,186 You don't remember? Were you a friend of Polly's family? 358 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:48,115 Not a guest in the traditionaI sense. 359 00:21:48,157 --> 00:21:51,706 But remember, you were having one or two last-minute doubts 360 00:21:51,757 --> 00:21:53,588 so I talked to you about love. 361 00:21:55,157 --> 00:21:59,275 Right. What are you doing here? 362 00:21:59,317 --> 00:22:01,547 You don't know?. 363 00:22:01,597 --> 00:22:03,588 Hasn't Puck been to see you? 364 00:22:03,637 --> 00:22:05,992 The weird, scruffy looking guy? 365 00:22:06,037 --> 00:22:08,107 PracticaI joker fella, yeah. 366 00:22:08,157 --> 00:22:12,867 I thought I was seeing things again. No, he's as reaI as I am. 367 00:22:12,917 --> 00:22:15,226 And that's what I'm driving at. 368 00:22:15,277 --> 00:22:17,188 I didn't think you were real. 369 00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:21,117 I mean, no disrespect but I was pretty off my head at the wedding. 370 00:22:21,117 --> 00:22:26,032 Yeah, well, no, we were really there. 371 00:22:26,077 --> 00:22:28,671 Blessing your nuptials. 372 00:22:28,717 --> 00:22:30,708 And we brought you here too. 373 00:22:30,757 --> 00:22:33,874 See, it's an obligation, Theo, a duty. 374 00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:36,989 Spread peace and love. 375 00:22:37,037 --> 00:22:39,870 And happiness. 376 00:22:39,917 --> 00:22:44,229 So it's come to this. The only man who'll drink with me is a hallucination! 377 00:22:44,277 --> 00:22:46,437 I am not an hallucination. 378 00:22:46,437 --> 00:22:50,271 OK, OK. You're my fairy godmother. 379 00:22:50,317 --> 00:22:55,517 You know, I could really mess with your head, so less of the godmother. 380 00:22:55,517 --> 00:22:57,997 All right? But you're a fairy, right? 381 00:22:57,997 --> 00:23:01,228 Oh, I'm King of the Fairies, Theo. 382 00:23:01,277 --> 00:23:03,950 OK. 383 00:23:03,997 --> 00:23:06,352 So where are all the other fairies? 384 00:23:06,397 --> 00:23:09,867 You should ask my lovely Queen about that. 385 00:23:09,917 --> 00:23:13,990 Don't tell me the King of the Fairies has maritaI difficulties? 386 00:23:14,037 --> 00:23:17,427 Why do you think the weather's so weird nowadays? 387 00:23:17,477 --> 00:23:19,433 You think it's globaI warming? 388 00:23:19,477 --> 00:23:21,786 No chance. lt's me and Titania. 389 00:23:21,837 --> 00:23:23,429 Really? 390 00:23:23,477 --> 00:23:26,867 Yeah. Nature's got a way of biting back, you know what I mean? 391 00:23:28,477 --> 00:23:32,834 No, not really. Nature has a way of... 392 00:23:34,077 --> 00:23:37,547 She has a way of teaching us lessons. 393 00:23:37,597 --> 00:23:39,986 Of course she has! 394 00:23:48,717 --> 00:23:52,790 l've got it. I know how to sort out Titania. 395 00:23:52,837 --> 00:23:55,146 Something tells me it's not counselling. 396 00:23:55,197 --> 00:23:57,586 l'm going to need you to get me some love juice. 397 00:23:58,997 --> 00:24:01,431 Top plan. How much are we talking? 398 00:24:01,477 --> 00:24:04,787 That way whatever Titania looks at when she wakes up, 399 00:24:04,837 --> 00:24:06,677 she'll be in love with. 400 00:24:06,677 --> 00:24:08,474 And that's you, right? 401 00:24:08,517 --> 00:24:11,357 You remember that stuff I used the night I heard the mermaids sing? 402 00:24:11,357 --> 00:24:13,473 Those mermaids! 403 00:24:13,517 --> 00:24:16,111 We had a wobble on that night! 404 00:24:16,157 --> 00:24:22,551 ln maiden meditation, fancy-free yet marked where the bolt of Cupid fell. 405 00:24:22,597 --> 00:24:25,397 I can sort you for love-juice, no danger. 406 00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:28,517 lt fell upon a little western flower, 407 00:24:28,517 --> 00:24:32,351 before milk-white, now purple with love's wounds. 408 00:24:32,397 --> 00:24:35,787 And maidens called it Love ln ldleness. 409 00:24:35,837 --> 00:24:39,466 Do you want the bleeding love-juice or what? 410 00:24:41,517 --> 00:24:42,877 James! 411 00:24:42,877 --> 00:24:44,947 Please! 412 00:24:44,997 --> 00:24:47,909 Why don't you stay and try and make a weekend of it? 413 00:24:47,957 --> 00:24:50,266 My fiancee has just walked out on me 414 00:24:50,317 --> 00:24:53,707 and you think I can get over it with a swim and a game of ping-pong? 415 00:24:53,757 --> 00:24:57,113 Not suggesting you'd get over it, just...l'd like you to stay. 416 00:24:57,157 --> 00:24:59,997 Why would anyone want to spend the weekend with dull, dumped James? 417 00:24:59,997 --> 00:25:01,749 You're not dull. 418 00:25:07,477 --> 00:25:10,230 Well, who's she going to choose? 419 00:25:10,277 --> 00:25:14,111 Plain James or the glamorous smoothie who can do the love talk? 420 00:25:14,157 --> 00:25:17,069 Hey, words aren't everything. 421 00:25:17,117 --> 00:25:18,186 Yes, they are. 422 00:25:18,237 --> 00:25:21,912 And I should have said them when I had the chance. 423 00:25:21,957 --> 00:25:24,994 What sort of things? 424 00:25:25,037 --> 00:25:27,756 That I need her. 425 00:25:27,797 --> 00:25:30,914 That I can't live without her. 426 00:25:30,957 --> 00:25:32,754 That would have been nice. 427 00:25:32,797 --> 00:25:34,708 What's the point? 428 00:25:34,757 --> 00:25:36,509 I can't turn the clock back. 429 00:25:36,557 --> 00:25:39,435 lt's not over yet. Well, that's just it. 430 00:25:39,477 --> 00:25:41,547 lt's very much over. 431 00:25:41,597 --> 00:25:44,987 What if I told you that... 432 00:25:45,037 --> 00:25:48,712 ..I might be able to find her and that you could say those things? 433 00:25:51,637 --> 00:25:57,872 Tender is the night Lying by your side 434 00:25:57,917 --> 00:26:03,787 Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much 435 00:26:03,837 --> 00:26:06,590 Tender is the day... 436 00:26:06,637 --> 00:26:11,313 lt's not much further, OK? Yeah. 437 00:26:11,357 --> 00:26:16,556 Lord, I need to find someone who can heaI my mind 438 00:26:16,597 --> 00:26:23,275 Come on, come on, come on Get through it 439 00:26:23,317 --> 00:26:26,992 Come on, come on, come on 440 00:26:27,037 --> 00:26:31,872 Love's the greatest thing that we have 441 00:26:31,917 --> 00:26:38,186 I'm waiting for that feeling to come. 442 00:26:46,957 --> 00:26:49,073 I couldn't find her anywhere! 443 00:26:49,117 --> 00:26:51,836 Completely disappeared! 444 00:26:51,877 --> 00:26:55,506 Nice to see you took my words of wisdom to heart. 445 00:26:55,557 --> 00:26:58,637 Have you just been sitting here all this time? 446 00:26:58,637 --> 00:27:01,868 She could be miles away by now! lf she's got any sense she will be. 447 00:27:01,917 --> 00:27:04,351 Well, she can pay the full balance on her villa. 448 00:27:04,397 --> 00:27:07,628 That way she might learn that being a grown-up doesn't come cheap. 449 00:27:07,677 --> 00:27:10,037 There are more important things than money. 450 00:27:10,037 --> 00:27:11,026 Oh, yeah? 451 00:27:11,077 --> 00:27:15,036 Let's see how easy it is for you to set up your flotation studio without James's help. 452 00:27:15,077 --> 00:27:18,237 I can't make Hermia get married to a man she doesn't love 453 00:27:18,237 --> 00:27:20,592 just so I can have a sympathetic investor. 454 00:27:21,877 --> 00:27:25,074 l'll just have to find another way. ''l'll just have to find another way''! 455 00:27:25,117 --> 00:27:26,869 ''Build it and they will come''. 456 00:27:26,917 --> 00:27:29,157 Good job one of us can deal with life's harsh realities. 457 00:27:29,157 --> 00:27:30,636 That's you, is it? 458 00:27:30,677 --> 00:27:32,827 There are people who make things happen 459 00:27:32,877 --> 00:27:35,630 and there are people who let things happen to them. 460 00:27:35,677 --> 00:27:38,714 And there are people who shout and get nowhere. 461 00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:42,227 I told you not to go after her! How does she know we care, eh? 462 00:27:42,277 --> 00:27:44,552 lf we don't go after her? 463 00:27:47,557 --> 00:27:49,832 They're probably hiding in a villa and laughing at me. 464 00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:52,477 Don't talk like that. Nobody's laughing at you. 465 00:27:52,477 --> 00:27:53,917 Oh, aren't they? 466 00:27:53,917 --> 00:27:57,307 You might not say much, but I'll bet you're a very deep thinker. 467 00:27:57,357 --> 00:27:58,757 Well, that's right! 468 00:27:58,757 --> 00:28:00,594 l've often worked out who did it 469 00:28:00,594 --> 00:28:02,305 in A Touch of Frost long before DeI Boy! 470 00:28:02,957 --> 00:28:05,425 And you can be funny! 471 00:28:05,477 --> 00:28:08,674 Well, you're the only one who seems to share my sense of humour. 472 00:28:09,677 --> 00:28:13,556 Well, sometimes I think people find you a bit... 473 00:28:13,597 --> 00:28:16,065 ..hard to approach. 474 00:28:16,117 --> 00:28:19,029 You just need to relax a bit. 475 00:28:19,077 --> 00:28:20,954 I can't. 476 00:28:20,997 --> 00:28:22,555 Well, you relax with me. 477 00:28:22,597 --> 00:28:26,033 That's different. You make it easy. 478 00:28:26,077 --> 00:28:28,511 You're a lot of fun to be around, James. 479 00:28:28,557 --> 00:28:30,752 Don't let anybody tell you different. 480 00:28:32,437 --> 00:28:35,827 Why can't Hermia see any of this? 481 00:28:35,877 --> 00:28:38,186 Perhaps she just doesn't know where to look. 482 00:28:44,237 --> 00:28:46,068 lf Dad could see me now he'd... 483 00:28:46,117 --> 00:28:47,914 He'd what? 484 00:28:49,437 --> 00:28:52,190 His bark's worse than his bite, right? 485 00:28:52,237 --> 00:28:55,517 I don't know. I've never seen him this angry before. 486 00:28:55,517 --> 00:28:57,557 He wouldn't really come after us, would he? 487 00:28:57,557 --> 00:28:59,309 I wouldn't put it past him. 488 00:29:00,837 --> 00:29:03,829 What was that? What? 489 00:29:03,877 --> 00:29:06,072 There was a sound outside. Like a twig breaking. 490 00:29:06,877 --> 00:29:10,586 Maybe it was a twig breaking. 491 00:29:12,797 --> 00:29:16,756 l'll always remember this. 492 00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:20,392 This will always be our sky, 493 00:29:20,437 --> 00:29:24,555 our night, our stars. 494 00:29:40,477 --> 00:29:42,593 Can I ask you something? 495 00:29:42,637 --> 00:29:45,470 Of course. 496 00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:47,757 Did you know about Hermia and Zander before tonight? 497 00:29:47,757 --> 00:29:50,066 No. I promise I didn't. 498 00:29:50,117 --> 00:29:52,836 lf I'd known I'd have told you straight away. 499 00:29:52,877 --> 00:29:55,835 Would you? Of course. 500 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:58,550 l'd never want to see you hurt. 501 00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:00,076 I care about you. 502 00:30:02,197 --> 00:30:05,234 Well, yeah, of course, and I care about you. 503 00:30:09,677 --> 00:30:11,395 Oh! Oh, no. You OK? 504 00:30:11,437 --> 00:30:12,995 Yeah. I think so. 505 00:30:13,037 --> 00:30:14,914 Let me take a look. l'm fine. 506 00:30:14,957 --> 00:30:16,797 Well, there's nothing broken, I don't think. 507 00:30:16,797 --> 00:30:18,594 l'm just clumsy. 508 00:30:31,717 --> 00:30:33,275 What are we doing? 509 00:30:33,317 --> 00:30:35,467 I don't know, 510 00:30:35,517 --> 00:30:37,348 maybe we just got carried away. 511 00:30:37,397 --> 00:30:39,194 Yeah, yeah. That must be it. 512 00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:43,355 Crossed wires, mixed signals, l'm sorry, I'm sorry. 513 00:30:50,037 --> 00:30:54,633 You didn't trip on purpose, did you? No. Of course not. 514 00:30:54,677 --> 00:30:57,794 You don't want me to get back with her, do you? 515 00:30:57,837 --> 00:31:01,466 I want you to be happy! I bet you don't even know where she is. 516 00:31:01,517 --> 00:31:04,157 I bet you just tricked me so you could throw yourself at me. 517 00:31:04,157 --> 00:31:05,636 No! That isn't true! 518 00:31:05,677 --> 00:31:08,350 l'm here because I couldn't stand to see you so hurt! 519 00:31:11,077 --> 00:31:14,706 Now let's forget what happened and just try and find Hermia, shall we? 520 00:31:14,757 --> 00:31:19,672 l'm not falling for that trick again! Don't you come anywhere near me. 521 00:31:19,717 --> 00:31:21,912 I feeI sick just to look at you. 522 00:31:28,517 --> 00:31:32,635 Right. Trick you. Yeah. 523 00:31:34,197 --> 00:31:38,668 Has this man got love-juice or has this man got love-juice? 524 00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:42,871 Take some of this. 525 00:31:42,917 --> 00:31:46,830 This young woman here is in love with a young wet who doesn't want to know. 526 00:31:46,877 --> 00:31:50,916 Yeah. Odds and Evens, been there myself. Fairies all over me. 527 00:31:50,957 --> 00:31:52,470 l'm, like, you know, girls! 528 00:31:52,517 --> 00:31:54,109 One at a time! 529 00:31:54,157 --> 00:31:56,512 Drip some of this in the young man's eyes. 530 00:31:56,557 --> 00:31:58,593 Let's make love our mission, eh? 531 00:32:00,637 --> 00:32:02,787 Puck. 532 00:32:02,837 --> 00:32:05,510 What's the plan? 533 00:32:05,557 --> 00:32:08,515 Young wet. Love juice. Eyes. 534 00:32:08,557 --> 00:32:10,707 Three steps to heaven. 535 00:32:13,677 --> 00:32:15,508 Wet bloke alert. 536 00:32:15,557 --> 00:32:19,345 Clothes drying, him still a bit damp round the edges. Result. 537 00:32:21,957 --> 00:32:24,425 lt doesn't look like he hates her 538 00:32:24,477 --> 00:32:29,471 but then he is a bloke, she is needy and a jump's a jump, I suppose. 539 00:32:49,997 --> 00:32:52,670 What you see when you wake, 540 00:32:52,717 --> 00:32:55,311 you will for your true love take. 541 00:32:57,037 --> 00:33:01,667 Splish, splash, splosh. Whoops! 542 00:33:01,717 --> 00:33:03,947 Get out of that! 543 00:33:37,957 --> 00:33:39,675 James, I've found them! 544 00:33:41,277 --> 00:33:43,950 I told you I wasn't tricking you, James! 545 00:33:43,997 --> 00:33:47,228 Hey. Come on, babe. Don't cry. 546 00:33:48,797 --> 00:33:52,790 Why would someone as beautifuI as you cry about James? 547 00:33:52,837 --> 00:33:56,386 I love him. No. You just think you love him. 548 00:33:56,437 --> 00:33:59,668 What's the difference? This. 549 00:33:59,717 --> 00:34:01,673 What are you doing? 550 00:34:01,717 --> 00:34:03,753 Just get off! 551 00:34:03,797 --> 00:34:06,027 I can't believe I didn't see it before. 552 00:34:06,077 --> 00:34:07,597 I knew you couldn't be trusted. 553 00:34:07,597 --> 00:34:10,714 How can I look at Hermia when I could be looking at you? Loving you? 554 00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:12,637 Why should I settle for second best? 555 00:34:12,637 --> 00:34:15,470 You have got some serious commitment issues. 556 00:34:15,517 --> 00:34:17,155 Get some help. 557 00:34:17,197 --> 00:34:19,427 But this is our sky! 558 00:34:19,477 --> 00:34:21,593 This is our night! 559 00:34:21,637 --> 00:34:23,628 These are our stars! 560 00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:41,754 You need a lesson, my Queen. 561 00:34:42,917 --> 00:34:45,557 You think you've got power over me. 562 00:34:45,557 --> 00:34:48,515 But I'm going to show you power. 563 00:34:49,717 --> 00:34:51,753 You think I'm too proud? 564 00:34:51,797 --> 00:34:54,834 I will show you pride. 565 00:35:10,117 --> 00:35:15,749 When you wake up, you will fall in love with the first thing you see. 566 00:35:15,797 --> 00:35:20,996 I will make you feeI so small that you won't ever dare to cross me again. 567 00:35:32,557 --> 00:35:41,465 He was beautiful 568 00:35:41,517 --> 00:35:47,911 BeautifuI to my eyes 569 00:35:47,957 --> 00:35:55,671 From the moment I saw him 570 00:35:55,717 --> 00:36:02,793 The sun filled the skies. 571 00:36:02,837 --> 00:36:06,757 You went a bit wrong there, love. Make sure you tighten up on the night. 572 00:36:06,757 --> 00:36:09,590 A man walked into a pub with a roll of green tarmac on his head. 573 00:36:09,637 --> 00:36:14,472 The barman goes, ''Don't talk to him, he's a cycle path.'' 574 00:36:14,517 --> 00:36:17,156 I don't get it. What about the clever stuff? 575 00:36:17,197 --> 00:36:19,108 This is the clever stuff! 576 00:36:19,157 --> 00:36:20,988 ln Wythenshawe, maybe. 577 00:36:21,037 --> 00:36:22,755 Was this your card? No. 578 00:36:22,797 --> 00:36:26,028 No, you're supposed to say yes. But that wasn't my card. 579 00:36:26,077 --> 00:36:29,911 You could be a bit more encouraging. You've got the patter just right. 580 00:36:29,957 --> 00:36:31,515 Excuse me, sir. 581 00:36:31,557 --> 00:36:34,469 Could I possibly relieve you of your watch? 582 00:36:35,997 --> 00:36:37,146 Hey, up. 583 00:36:39,117 --> 00:36:40,948 That's three! 584 00:36:40,997 --> 00:36:45,837 Count them, ladies and gentlemen! 585 00:36:45,837 --> 00:36:47,437 That is more like it. 586 00:36:47,437 --> 00:36:50,429 Now we're talking a top hole entertainment package 587 00:36:50,477 --> 00:36:54,868 as befitting the number one short-break destination of the discerning family. 588 00:36:54,917 --> 00:36:56,953 Now we're talking management calling and saying, 589 00:36:56,997 --> 00:36:59,597 ''Why don't The Rude Mechanicals perform the entertainment 590 00:36:59,597 --> 00:37:01,076 ''on a regular basis?'' 591 00:37:01,117 --> 00:37:04,157 lt'll be my comeback! My agent'll be kicking himself! 592 00:37:05,677 --> 00:37:08,316 I said no impressions. You'll love this. 593 00:37:08,357 --> 00:37:11,315 I'm the only gay in the village. 594 00:37:11,357 --> 00:37:13,632 What? Wait! Wait! 595 00:37:19,677 --> 00:37:23,557 Ta-da! That was a brand new watch! 596 00:37:23,557 --> 00:37:25,707 Didn't look cheap either. 597 00:37:32,797 --> 00:37:36,426 Come on, what about it? Oh, give us a minute. I know this one. 598 00:37:37,357 --> 00:37:40,747 Oh, what are you doing? Are you getting the message here? 599 00:37:40,797 --> 00:37:43,789 What you seem to forget is l've done this for a living. 600 00:37:43,837 --> 00:37:45,987 I know what plays to a live audience! 601 00:37:46,037 --> 00:37:50,155 lf you know what plays, why are you a security guard? 602 00:37:52,277 --> 00:37:54,996 Wait. Watch this one. 603 00:37:55,037 --> 00:37:56,709 That was a bit harsh. 604 00:37:56,757 --> 00:37:58,748 CrueI to be kind. 605 00:38:01,317 --> 00:38:04,707 My name is MichaeI Caine. 606 00:38:04,757 --> 00:38:08,317 My name is MichaeI Caine. 607 00:38:08,317 --> 00:38:09,796 Watch this! 608 00:38:09,837 --> 00:38:11,317 lt'll be top. 609 00:38:11,317 --> 00:38:14,753 My name is MichaeI Caine. 610 00:38:14,797 --> 00:38:18,346 My name is MichaeI Caine. 611 00:38:18,397 --> 00:38:26,157 My name is MichaeI Caine. 612 00:38:27,837 --> 00:38:30,749 My name is MichaeI Caine. 613 00:38:30,797 --> 00:38:32,947 My name is MichaeI Caine. 614 00:38:34,397 --> 00:38:36,308 That was really good, mate. 615 00:38:36,357 --> 00:38:38,951 That was really good, mate. 616 00:38:38,997 --> 00:38:40,988 You've not come to audition, have you? 617 00:38:41,037 --> 00:38:43,915 Only we've got all the impressionists we need. 618 00:38:52,877 --> 00:38:57,237 I said you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! 619 00:38:57,237 --> 00:38:59,837 Hell on earth! What have you done to yourself? 620 00:38:59,837 --> 00:39:03,197 Told you it was good, didn't I? Can you see a difference? 621 00:39:03,197 --> 00:39:06,269 Yes, but it's not funny, it's just sick! 622 00:39:06,317 --> 00:39:08,114 Change back, it's freaking me out! 623 00:39:08,157 --> 00:39:10,990 lt's supposed to be an engagement party, 624 00:39:11,037 --> 00:39:13,392 not the Edinburgh pigging Festival! 625 00:39:17,037 --> 00:39:19,426 That man shouldn't be allowed out at night. 626 00:39:21,637 --> 00:39:23,637 lt...it's only a guess. 627 00:39:23,637 --> 00:39:26,549 But is it Ruud Van Nistelrooy? 628 00:39:28,677 --> 00:39:31,510 What's the matter with you lot? 629 00:39:31,557 --> 00:39:33,707 Come back and stop mucking about! 630 00:39:35,437 --> 00:39:37,234 l'm not going after you! 631 00:39:38,797 --> 00:39:40,549 I can entertain myself. 632 00:39:42,117 --> 00:39:43,596 They'll be back. 633 00:39:57,837 --> 00:40:00,988 Strangers in the night 634 00:40:01,037 --> 00:40:06,191 Exchanging glances Wondering in the night 635 00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:11,837 What were the chances we'd be sharing love 636 00:40:11,837 --> 00:40:15,671 Before the night was through... 637 00:40:21,197 --> 00:40:22,869 We both like walking. 638 00:40:22,917 --> 00:40:24,987 We both like reading. Believe me. 639 00:40:25,037 --> 00:40:27,312 l'd prefer illiterate but sincere. 640 00:40:27,357 --> 00:40:29,427 All I'm asking for is a chance. 641 00:40:29,477 --> 00:40:31,991 You turned my best friend's life upside down! 642 00:40:32,037 --> 00:40:35,507 She fell out with her dad for you. She broke James's heart! 643 00:40:37,437 --> 00:40:39,189 Do you believe in fate? 644 00:40:39,237 --> 00:40:40,989 I believe in my judgment. 645 00:40:41,037 --> 00:40:43,471 And I never liked the look of you from the start. 646 00:40:43,517 --> 00:40:45,633 See? That's what I love about you. 647 00:40:45,677 --> 00:40:48,828 l'd rather be slagged off by you than adored by Hermia! 648 00:40:56,157 --> 00:40:58,876 Oh, you came back. Oh, thank God! 649 00:40:58,917 --> 00:41:01,829 Stay away from me! What? 650 00:41:02,837 --> 00:41:04,429 What have you done with him? 651 00:41:04,477 --> 00:41:06,433 What have you done to Zander?! 652 00:41:06,477 --> 00:41:09,275 Come on, calm down. You're hysterical. Ow! 653 00:41:09,317 --> 00:41:10,955 What did you do that for? 654 00:41:12,597 --> 00:41:15,669 lt turned out so right 655 00:41:15,717 --> 00:41:20,472 For strangers in the night. 656 00:41:30,717 --> 00:41:33,311 What nightingale's song woke me? 657 00:41:34,997 --> 00:41:36,635 lt was just me. 658 00:41:41,877 --> 00:41:43,230 My God. 659 00:41:44,797 --> 00:41:47,265 Tell me I'm not dreaming. 660 00:41:49,597 --> 00:41:51,747 You talking to me, love? 661 00:41:51,797 --> 00:41:55,676 Don't tell me with a body like yours 662 00:41:55,717 --> 00:41:58,185 you aren't used to female attention? 663 00:41:59,117 --> 00:42:02,792 Well, I've had my moments. 664 00:42:02,837 --> 00:42:05,757 You don't play second headline at the Poco a Poco Club 665 00:42:05,757 --> 00:42:09,591 without attracting your fair share of fanny. 666 00:42:09,637 --> 00:42:12,026 And when you speak, 667 00:42:12,077 --> 00:42:14,466 it's like poetry. 668 00:42:14,517 --> 00:42:18,590 That's what I've been trying to say to Quince. Gift of the gab. 669 00:42:18,637 --> 00:42:20,753 What's your name? 670 00:42:20,797 --> 00:42:22,594 Bottom. 671 00:42:22,637 --> 00:42:24,517 But you can call me Bootie. 672 00:42:26,077 --> 00:42:28,432 You like that one? 673 00:42:28,477 --> 00:42:30,832 l've got hundreds where that came from. 674 00:42:30,877 --> 00:42:32,390 What do they call you? 675 00:42:32,437 --> 00:42:36,316 Titania. l'm not surprised! 676 00:42:42,077 --> 00:42:44,671 I love a rough man. 677 00:42:44,717 --> 00:42:48,312 They don't come much rougher. Ohhh! 678 00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:50,997 You're my ideaI audience. 679 00:42:50,997 --> 00:42:53,397 What you doing hanging round here, then? 680 00:42:53,397 --> 00:42:55,069 I live here. 681 00:42:55,117 --> 00:42:57,347 l'm Queen of the Fairies. 682 00:42:57,397 --> 00:42:59,353 Oh, yeah. 683 00:42:59,397 --> 00:43:02,787 And I bet you've got gorgeous handmaidens, haven't you? 684 00:43:02,837 --> 00:43:04,793 lf that's what would please you. 685 00:43:13,877 --> 00:43:16,550 lt's bang on, is... 686 00:43:16,597 --> 00:43:18,553 ..that. 687 00:43:18,597 --> 00:43:20,588 Wait on him! 688 00:43:20,637 --> 00:43:23,549 Lead him to my love palace! 689 00:43:24,557 --> 00:43:27,788 lt's not nylon sheets, is it? Because I get this rash. 690 00:43:29,637 --> 00:43:32,231 You're not doing this for some kind of bet, are you? 691 00:43:32,277 --> 00:43:34,996 Because I fell for this once before on my stag night. 692 00:43:36,477 --> 00:43:39,389 Of course I'm not married anymore. 693 00:43:39,437 --> 00:43:42,395 She ran off with the bookie. 694 00:43:42,437 --> 00:43:44,189 Love of my life. 695 00:43:44,237 --> 00:43:45,465 The bookie, 696 00:43:45,517 --> 00:43:46,996 not my wife. 697 00:43:51,317 --> 00:43:53,672 I like things to get out of hand. 698 00:43:53,717 --> 00:43:56,185 You know, ''I will lead you up and down'', 699 00:43:56,237 --> 00:43:57,909 that's like my theme tune. 700 00:43:57,957 --> 00:44:02,155 But, uh... This is all turning into a bit of a head-squeeze. 701 00:44:02,197 --> 00:44:05,587 l've got a feeling when I tell Oberon what's happened, 702 00:44:05,637 --> 00:44:07,753 it'll be me getting my head squeezed. 703 00:44:10,477 --> 00:44:12,672 Has Titania woken up? 704 00:44:12,717 --> 00:44:15,311 Oh, yes. And? 705 00:44:15,357 --> 00:44:18,155 A bit of an animaI vibe going on. 706 00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:20,108 What has she fallen in love with? 707 00:44:21,677 --> 00:44:24,589 Well, this donkey man comedian type thing. 708 00:44:26,837 --> 00:44:29,067 Good. 709 00:44:29,117 --> 00:44:30,835 Slut! 710 00:44:30,877 --> 00:44:33,072 The more humiliated, the better. 711 00:44:33,117 --> 00:44:35,506 Too right. That's what I thought. 712 00:44:37,557 --> 00:44:41,596 When he finally had the chance of having you to himself he ran away. 713 00:44:41,637 --> 00:44:44,837 He would never leave me! lt's me that'll never leave you. 714 00:44:44,837 --> 00:44:47,197 lf you have any feelings for me at all 715 00:44:47,197 --> 00:44:49,586 then you'll tell me what you've done to him! 716 00:44:49,637 --> 00:44:54,028 I wish I had hurt him. I really do. 717 00:44:54,077 --> 00:44:56,068 But I haven't. I didn't. 718 00:44:57,637 --> 00:45:00,390 Will you help me to find him, then? Just let him go. 719 00:45:00,437 --> 00:45:03,907 We're better off without him! There is no we! 720 00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:11,511 Welcome to the Globe Diner, sir. 721 00:45:18,557 --> 00:45:21,230 Did you drug this man? 722 00:45:21,277 --> 00:45:23,074 No. 723 00:45:23,117 --> 00:45:25,472 I drugged the young wet bloke. Like you said. 724 00:45:25,517 --> 00:45:28,357 This is the wet bloke I was talking about! 725 00:45:28,357 --> 00:45:30,712 ls it? 726 00:45:30,757 --> 00:45:33,954 But he's dry as a bone. That's not the kind of wet I meant! 727 00:45:33,997 --> 00:45:37,990 ls Puck short for Puck-up? This man is still in love with the wrong woman! 728 00:45:38,037 --> 00:45:40,835 All right, all right. Mistake, you know. No need to... 729 00:45:42,397 --> 00:45:45,275 You give me some more love-juice, or I will give you 730 00:45:45,317 --> 00:45:48,593 a midsummer night's dream where the moon doesn't shine. 731 00:45:50,157 --> 00:45:55,868 l'll handle him. You get the girl, get the boy, and get it sorted. 732 00:45:57,437 --> 00:45:58,916 Now! 733 00:46:08,277 --> 00:46:12,907 Now this will help you see... 734 00:46:16,997 --> 00:46:19,955 ..who your true love really is. 735 00:46:22,197 --> 00:46:27,555 lt's just a ride, it's just a ride No need to run, no need to hide 736 00:46:27,597 --> 00:46:29,588 lt'll take you round and round 737 00:46:29,637 --> 00:46:32,595 Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down 738 00:46:32,637 --> 00:46:34,517 lt's just a ride, it's just a ride... 739 00:46:34,517 --> 00:46:36,473 No-one gets hurt, Puck. 740 00:46:37,957 --> 00:46:42,747 lt may feeI so reaI inside But don't forget it's just a ride. 741 00:46:44,317 --> 00:46:48,469 The thing about the old love-juice, it's a ride, man. 742 00:46:48,517 --> 00:46:51,031 lt's a regular rollercoaster. 743 00:46:54,597 --> 00:46:57,757 lt all makes sense. Don't you see? lt's perfect. 744 00:46:57,757 --> 00:47:01,545 I don't know what you're getting out of this but I'd like it to stop, right now. 745 00:47:01,597 --> 00:47:03,508 James loves her and doesn't love you. 746 00:47:03,557 --> 00:47:05,229 Zander! 747 00:47:05,277 --> 00:47:09,190 What are you doing here? Where did you go? Why did you leave me alone? 748 00:47:09,237 --> 00:47:11,751 I had better things to do. 749 00:47:11,797 --> 00:47:14,516 What? So you're in on it too? 750 00:47:14,557 --> 00:47:17,276 What's going on? Oh, very good, Hermia. 751 00:47:17,317 --> 00:47:19,911 What is it about you that always needs an audience? 752 00:47:19,957 --> 00:47:23,711 What gives you the right to treat me like this? 753 00:47:23,757 --> 00:47:26,874 Will somebody please tell me what's going on? 754 00:47:28,557 --> 00:47:30,309 I love Helena. 755 00:47:30,357 --> 00:47:32,587 And she loves me! 756 00:47:33,677 --> 00:47:35,508 Don't be ridiculous. 757 00:47:37,277 --> 00:47:39,632 Helena? I don't love Zander. 758 00:47:39,677 --> 00:47:41,986 You know I don't. That's right. 759 00:47:43,317 --> 00:47:46,468 Because she loves me. She always has. 760 00:47:46,517 --> 00:47:48,553 Haven't you? 761 00:47:50,397 --> 00:47:53,912 And I've always known it, sort of, somehow, and now I see it. 762 00:47:53,957 --> 00:47:55,185 Oh, I see it. 763 00:47:55,237 --> 00:47:56,795 Hands off. Go back to Hermia! 764 00:47:56,837 --> 00:47:58,395 Zander! lt's you that I want. 765 00:47:58,437 --> 00:48:01,110 Are you following this? 766 00:48:01,157 --> 00:48:03,796 I feeI like I'm wrestling a sackfuI of monkeys here. 767 00:48:03,837 --> 00:48:06,192 When did this remarkable change of heart come about? 768 00:48:06,237 --> 00:48:08,671 I think I first realised it at the youth club. 769 00:48:08,717 --> 00:48:11,675 That time we kissed. That was 1 2 years ago! 770 00:48:11,717 --> 00:48:13,196 Why are you dragging that up? 771 00:48:13,237 --> 00:48:16,309 lt was before Hermia. But part of me knew even then. 772 00:48:16,357 --> 00:48:20,145 But it's taken till now for me to see what my heart has always known... 773 00:48:20,197 --> 00:48:22,037 ..what YOUR heart has always known! 774 00:48:22,037 --> 00:48:24,357 Why do you want to talk to me like this? 775 00:48:24,357 --> 00:48:26,557 He's a right old poet when he gets going. 776 00:48:26,557 --> 00:48:28,991 You could write some of this on a card and sell it! 777 00:48:29,037 --> 00:48:31,312 Get off my girlfriend! 778 00:48:32,397 --> 00:48:36,151 All this time you were Miss Butter Wouldn't Melt with your nose in a book. 779 00:48:36,197 --> 00:48:37,755 Friend! 780 00:48:37,797 --> 00:48:41,790 Some friend. I don't know what he sees in you! 781 00:48:41,837 --> 00:48:45,432 ls it your big brain and your sensible shoes? 782 00:48:45,477 --> 00:48:48,787 Perhaps he felt he needed a decent conversation every now and again. 783 00:48:49,877 --> 00:48:54,951 You two-faced conniving little bitch! 784 00:49:03,157 --> 00:49:04,829 Helena! 785 00:49:07,557 --> 00:49:08,672 Wasn't me. 786 00:49:12,717 --> 00:49:15,026 She's mine! 787 00:49:19,037 --> 00:49:20,993 The kid's fast. 788 00:49:21,037 --> 00:49:23,028 I wanted to see a punch-up. 789 00:49:23,077 --> 00:49:24,749 You wanted to see a punch-up. 790 00:49:24,797 --> 00:49:28,267 But Oberon's got this old ''nobody gets hurt'' thing going on. 791 00:49:28,317 --> 00:49:30,917 What you gonna do? 792 00:49:43,077 --> 00:49:46,786 Some people are made for each other 793 00:49:46,837 --> 00:49:50,273 Some people can love one another for life... 794 00:49:50,317 --> 00:49:52,706 Where did you learn to make love like that? 795 00:49:52,757 --> 00:49:57,069 Dedication. I've studied lots of books and videos over the years. 796 00:50:02,117 --> 00:50:05,393 Peaseblossom, l've got a pain in me neck. 797 00:50:05,437 --> 00:50:07,553 You wouldn't mind, would you? 798 00:50:16,477 --> 00:50:18,707 I don't know what I've done to deserve this. 799 00:50:18,757 --> 00:50:21,635 But to tell you the truth, 800 00:50:21,677 --> 00:50:23,713 what I'd really like is a nice carrot. 801 00:50:27,637 --> 00:50:29,593 I need a shave. I know that much. 802 00:50:29,637 --> 00:50:32,868 No! Don't change a thing. 803 00:50:32,917 --> 00:50:35,795 You're perfect. 804 00:50:35,837 --> 00:50:37,793 Give over! 805 00:50:44,557 --> 00:50:45,956 We must sleep now. 806 00:50:45,997 --> 00:50:49,990 No. I don't want to sleep. This is the best night of my life. 807 00:50:50,037 --> 00:50:51,868 I don't want it to end. Sshhh! 808 00:51:14,317 --> 00:51:15,909 I give up. 809 00:51:18,077 --> 00:51:20,591 I give up. 810 00:51:20,637 --> 00:51:23,595 You were right. 811 00:51:23,637 --> 00:51:25,309 l've gone about this all wrong. 812 00:51:26,877 --> 00:51:28,390 Come here. 813 00:51:29,637 --> 00:51:31,787 You did your best. 814 00:51:31,837 --> 00:51:35,273 You did what you thought was right. 815 00:51:35,317 --> 00:51:38,627 lt's just nerves. That's all it is. 816 00:51:38,677 --> 00:51:40,793 I think if I could make her see that... 817 00:51:40,837 --> 00:51:46,230 Maybe marrying her first love was never the best of ideas. 818 00:51:46,277 --> 00:51:48,393 lt worked for us, didn't it? 819 00:51:49,957 --> 00:51:51,913 Yeah, it did. 820 00:51:53,477 --> 00:51:56,355 But maybe she needs to find her own way. 821 00:51:56,397 --> 00:51:59,070 She'll be all right, you know. 822 00:51:59,117 --> 00:52:01,506 She WlLL be all right. 823 00:52:01,557 --> 00:52:03,513 Have you seen Helena anywhere? 824 00:52:03,557 --> 00:52:06,025 l'll bet she would know something! 825 00:52:06,077 --> 00:52:10,275 Helena will be enjoying the vast and extensive facilities, 826 00:52:10,317 --> 00:52:13,115 like you could be enjoying mine. 827 00:52:14,837 --> 00:52:17,431 What do you think you're doing? 828 00:52:18,517 --> 00:52:20,508 Just what I always do. 829 00:52:21,717 --> 00:52:24,106 Thinking of your own gratification. 830 00:52:25,117 --> 00:52:27,995 No. I'm thinking about you. 831 00:52:29,557 --> 00:52:31,707 Thinking, ''How can I distract you? 832 00:52:31,757 --> 00:52:34,032 ''How can I make you feeI better? 833 00:52:34,077 --> 00:52:37,149 ''How can I make you happy?'' 834 00:52:37,197 --> 00:52:40,507 Oh, don't go putting yourself out on my account. 835 00:52:40,557 --> 00:52:42,946 You know what? 836 00:52:42,997 --> 00:52:44,555 l'm sick of this. 837 00:52:44,597 --> 00:52:47,191 Join the club. No. 838 00:52:47,237 --> 00:52:50,547 I mean, I'm sick of your sarcasm. 839 00:52:50,597 --> 00:52:55,432 And I'm sick of the fact that you never listen to me or anybody else! 840 00:52:55,477 --> 00:52:57,707 I always listen to you. You don't listen! 841 00:52:57,757 --> 00:53:01,272 You just stand there and wait for me to stop talking! I'm sick of it. 842 00:53:01,317 --> 00:53:05,390 And I'm sick of you having to control every second of every waking day! 843 00:53:05,437 --> 00:53:08,395 What's got into you? I'm the angry one. You're the calm one. 844 00:53:08,437 --> 00:53:14,148 Well, maybe after 26 years, it's MY turn to be the angry one! 845 00:53:14,197 --> 00:53:17,477 Because guess what? lnside I'm angry too! 846 00:53:17,477 --> 00:53:19,397 Except I've got to bottle it up 847 00:53:19,397 --> 00:53:22,594 because you're so irritable all the time we have to tiptoe around you. 848 00:53:22,637 --> 00:53:24,877 Why do you think your daughter nearly got married 849 00:53:24,877 --> 00:53:26,708 to a man she didn't even love? 850 00:53:26,757 --> 00:53:28,713 Because of your temper, that's why! 851 00:53:28,757 --> 00:53:32,955 And that's why she's out there now in the middle of nowhere with a stranger. 852 00:53:32,997 --> 00:53:35,192 lt's your fault and nobody else's! 853 00:53:35,237 --> 00:53:37,114 Cos here is the news! 854 00:53:37,157 --> 00:53:39,113 We all feeI angry! 855 00:53:39,157 --> 00:53:41,432 We all feeI disappointed! 856 00:53:41,477 --> 00:53:43,866 But most of us just get on with it! 857 00:53:50,677 --> 00:53:52,793 Helena? 858 00:53:57,477 --> 00:53:59,468 Zander! 859 00:54:03,117 --> 00:54:04,869 Let's talk! 860 00:54:06,797 --> 00:54:08,867 Please? 861 00:54:13,597 --> 00:54:17,636 Dad! Dad, it's all gone wrong! 862 00:54:31,037 --> 00:54:36,191 lt's OK. lt'll all be OK. 863 00:55:18,077 --> 00:55:19,874 Why is it...? 864 00:55:19,917 --> 00:55:22,226 I mean, how can they...? 865 00:55:24,357 --> 00:55:29,385 When you do what you think is right over the years 866 00:55:29,437 --> 00:55:31,712 and it's been wrong all along! 867 00:55:31,757 --> 00:55:36,387 Why would she want to live with it all this time if that's what she really thinks? 868 00:55:36,437 --> 00:55:38,155 Maybe she loves you. 869 00:55:38,197 --> 00:55:40,153 She doesn't even LlKE me! 870 00:55:40,197 --> 00:55:42,233 That's the strange thing about women. 871 00:55:42,277 --> 00:55:45,474 They can love us even when we're irritating the hell out of them. 872 00:55:45,517 --> 00:55:49,226 When they love you, they love you. No conditions. 873 00:55:49,277 --> 00:55:51,507 That doesn't make any sense. 874 00:55:51,557 --> 00:55:55,835 lt's not supposed to. With them, it's a force of nature. 875 00:55:55,877 --> 00:55:57,390 lt's a foreign language. 876 00:55:57,437 --> 00:55:59,029 You think YOU'VE got troubles? 877 00:55:59,077 --> 00:56:04,026 My wife... Well, she's flirting with a low-budget circus freak. 878 00:56:04,077 --> 00:56:08,036 ls it possible to ask why? 879 00:56:08,077 --> 00:56:10,033 We fought. 880 00:56:10,077 --> 00:56:12,830 She sulked, she refused to help. 881 00:56:12,877 --> 00:56:17,473 So I thought I'd make her see sense by, you know, making a fooI out of her. 882 00:56:17,517 --> 00:56:21,715 So now she's in love with a bloke who looks like a donkey. 883 00:56:21,757 --> 00:56:25,466 l'm no expert, but that doesn't sound like the best idea you've ever had. 884 00:56:25,517 --> 00:56:27,872 I thought we'd established that you know nothing about women. 885 00:56:27,917 --> 00:56:29,477 And you do, I suppose? 886 00:56:29,477 --> 00:56:31,354 Well, at least I know where your daughter is. 887 00:56:31,397 --> 00:56:33,477 What are we waiting for? No. 888 00:56:33,477 --> 00:56:35,832 She's got some things to sort out. 889 00:56:35,877 --> 00:56:38,835 She won't come to any harm. That's easy for you to say! 890 00:56:38,877 --> 00:56:41,835 She won't come to any harm. 891 00:56:41,877 --> 00:56:43,868 So I just sit here and wait? 892 00:56:43,917 --> 00:56:47,148 Well, you could use the time making it up with your wife. 893 00:56:47,197 --> 00:56:50,314 Oh! Here speaks the expert on maritaI bliss. 894 00:56:50,357 --> 00:56:54,270 Hey, just because I got it wrong doesn't mean YOU need to get it wrong too. 895 00:56:54,317 --> 00:56:55,750 You just go in there 896 00:56:55,797 --> 00:57:00,507 and you say the three magic phrases that all women love to hear. 897 00:57:00,557 --> 00:57:01,956 ''l'm sorry.'' 898 00:57:01,997 --> 00:57:03,589 ''I love you.'' 899 00:57:03,637 --> 00:57:05,275 And ''You were right.'' 900 00:57:05,317 --> 00:57:07,831 l'm not sure she deserves it. 901 00:57:07,877 --> 00:57:10,710 There was this man. 902 00:57:10,757 --> 00:57:15,911 And he lived his life always worrying that something bad was going to happen. 903 00:57:15,957 --> 00:57:19,427 He had a beautifuI wife, a wonderfuI family. 904 00:57:19,477 --> 00:57:21,195 He was rich and he was successful. 905 00:57:21,237 --> 00:57:25,992 But he couldn't enjoy it because he knew that something bad was going to happen. 906 00:57:26,037 --> 00:57:28,995 So, after a full and charmed life, 907 00:57:29,037 --> 00:57:32,825 at the age of 1 20, he realised he was dying. 908 00:57:32,877 --> 00:57:37,553 And as he lay on his death bed he looked his wife in the eye 909 00:57:37,597 --> 00:57:43,115 and he said, ''See? I told you something bad was going to happen.'' 910 00:57:43,157 --> 00:57:44,875 And that's supposed to be me? 911 00:57:46,757 --> 00:57:49,146 Well, I'm not that rich for a start. 912 00:57:49,197 --> 00:57:52,234 Just enjoy what you've got, Theo. 913 00:57:52,277 --> 00:57:55,155 Just enjoy what you've got. 914 00:57:55,197 --> 00:57:56,869 That's good coming from you. 915 00:58:14,917 --> 00:58:17,590 Look how tenderly she holds him. 916 00:58:17,637 --> 00:58:19,514 That's right. 917 00:58:19,557 --> 00:58:23,436 And tenderly strokes his big furry ears! 918 00:58:23,477 --> 00:58:25,115 This is ugly! 919 00:58:26,677 --> 00:58:28,747 This is sick! I know. 920 00:58:28,797 --> 00:58:31,789 lt's the cat's nadgers, though, isn't it? 921 00:58:31,837 --> 00:58:34,510 My anger did this. Not her. 922 00:58:34,557 --> 00:58:37,390 I did it and I want it undone. 923 00:58:37,437 --> 00:58:40,588 Oh, you're King of the Fairies. You're supposed to be angry! 924 00:58:40,637 --> 00:58:42,548 Turn the clown back to normal. 925 00:58:42,597 --> 00:58:44,872 Make him think he had a dream. 926 00:58:44,917 --> 00:58:47,909 Sort of dream you never want to wake up from. 927 00:58:47,957 --> 00:58:50,073 What did you say? 928 00:58:50,117 --> 00:58:52,347 Nothing, nothing. 929 00:59:01,477 --> 00:59:04,230 Now go and put things right with the young lovers. 930 00:59:04,277 --> 00:59:07,792 Oh, but they're funnier when they're all messed up on love juice! 931 00:59:07,837 --> 00:59:10,909 Apply the antidote to James and Zander. 932 00:59:10,957 --> 00:59:12,629 And do it properly, Puck. 933 00:59:12,677 --> 00:59:14,668 I haven't got time! lt's nearly light. 934 00:59:14,717 --> 00:59:18,551 Get this right or I'll have you turned into a novelty key ring! 935 00:59:18,597 --> 00:59:21,794 Coming up, love potion number nine. 936 00:59:26,677 --> 00:59:30,033 Serve it up 937 00:59:30,077 --> 00:59:33,752 Love potion number nine... 938 00:59:36,197 --> 00:59:39,985 A waste of perfectly good love juice. He has his reasons. 939 00:59:40,037 --> 00:59:45,509 Oberon always has his reasons, but if you ask me, he's losing his grip. 940 00:59:47,317 --> 00:59:49,626 Right. OK. 941 00:59:55,357 --> 00:59:59,316 When you wake up, you shall delight in the sight of Hermia again. 942 01:00:12,637 --> 01:00:15,026 Make your passion for Helena real. 943 01:00:16,557 --> 01:00:20,835 Jack shall have Jill. Jill shall have Jack. Blah...blah. 944 01:00:35,077 --> 01:00:36,597 l'm going to gather some mushrooms, 945 01:00:36,597 --> 01:00:39,430 have a good old boil-up and get a bit of a wobble on! 946 01:00:39,477 --> 01:00:40,910 See you in a bit. 947 01:00:47,717 --> 01:00:49,196 Well, l, erm... 948 01:00:50,757 --> 01:00:52,236 I think I should... 949 01:00:56,797 --> 01:01:01,746 I just never knew I made you feeI like that. 950 01:01:01,797 --> 01:01:04,157 The way you said I made you feel, 951 01:01:04,157 --> 01:01:08,597 always having to be the calm one while I was blowing up all the time. 952 01:01:08,597 --> 01:01:12,351 I just... I didn't realise. 953 01:01:12,397 --> 01:01:17,915 I just thought that you were better at dealing with the bad stuff. 954 01:01:20,117 --> 01:01:22,108 And I... 955 01:01:23,357 --> 01:01:25,393 ..I love you for that. 956 01:01:25,437 --> 01:01:28,509 Hell, I'm in awe of you for that. 957 01:01:30,077 --> 01:01:35,105 And now I know. Now I know it's how you feel 958 01:01:35,157 --> 01:01:41,426 and I will try not to be so angry all the time. 959 01:01:42,997 --> 01:01:44,749 And the bossing people around. 960 01:01:44,797 --> 01:01:49,473 That's just my way of looking after you and Hermia 961 01:01:49,517 --> 01:01:51,872 and I guess it must have just got out of hand. 962 01:01:52,957 --> 01:01:55,869 l'll give it up. I promise. I'll try. 963 01:01:57,437 --> 01:02:01,794 Because...I want us to be happy. 964 01:02:04,117 --> 01:02:06,915 I want you to be happy, Polly. 965 01:02:08,677 --> 01:02:11,316 Hip? 966 01:02:11,357 --> 01:02:14,030 My love hippo? Hmm? 967 01:02:14,077 --> 01:02:15,556 Hippo? 968 01:02:19,717 --> 01:02:24,393 At least give me a sign. I feeI like I'm talking to a coma victim in Holby City. 969 01:02:36,597 --> 01:02:41,307 Be as you are, see as you saw 970 01:02:41,357 --> 01:02:44,235 and awake to a new dawn. 971 01:03:05,517 --> 01:03:08,236 I dreamt that I was in love with an ass. 972 01:03:09,237 --> 01:03:10,750 And then I woke up. 973 01:03:12,437 --> 01:03:14,871 And what do you know?. I still am. 974 01:03:14,917 --> 01:03:16,873 l'm sorry. 975 01:03:16,917 --> 01:03:18,908 I love you. 976 01:03:20,517 --> 01:03:22,667 And you were right. 977 01:03:22,717 --> 01:03:25,072 What's happened? Why are you being like this? 978 01:03:25,117 --> 01:03:27,506 What if I were to tell you... 979 01:03:27,557 --> 01:03:30,355 ..no more stupid rage. 980 01:03:30,397 --> 01:03:32,592 l'd say it was a start. 981 01:03:32,637 --> 01:03:34,195 No more commands. 982 01:03:34,237 --> 01:03:36,797 I never listen to your commands anyway. 983 01:03:36,837 --> 01:03:39,032 No more jealousy. 984 01:03:40,597 --> 01:03:42,349 Why should I believe you? 985 01:03:43,357 --> 01:03:45,393 Because I've seen the damage it does. 986 01:03:47,397 --> 01:03:51,470 O, how thy worth with manners may I sing 987 01:03:51,517 --> 01:03:54,714 When thou art all the better part of me? 988 01:03:54,757 --> 01:03:58,591 Sweet love, renew thy force. 989 01:03:58,637 --> 01:04:04,109 Be it not said thy edge should blunter be than appetite. 990 01:04:04,157 --> 01:04:10,915 My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. 991 01:04:10,957 --> 01:04:14,791 The more I give to thee, the more I have, 992 01:04:14,837 --> 01:04:16,987 for both are infinite. 993 01:04:20,317 --> 01:04:22,069 How I love thee! 994 01:04:25,117 --> 01:04:26,789 How I dote on thee! 995 01:05:53,397 --> 01:05:55,467 How did we all get back here? 996 01:05:57,077 --> 01:05:58,556 I don't know. 997 01:06:01,437 --> 01:06:04,907 So you don't remember anything about last night? 998 01:06:06,397 --> 01:06:08,911 No. No. 999 01:06:08,957 --> 01:06:11,755 Not even saying I was boring? 1000 01:06:11,797 --> 01:06:14,550 I was upset. 1001 01:06:14,597 --> 01:06:17,634 lt was a strange night. 1002 01:06:19,397 --> 01:06:22,070 Do you really think I need an audience? No. 1003 01:06:22,117 --> 01:06:25,427 Well, maybe when we were younger. 1004 01:06:27,157 --> 01:06:29,077 Those times when boys were kissing me 1005 01:06:29,077 --> 01:06:31,386 and you used to stand outside the phone box. 1006 01:06:31,437 --> 01:06:33,473 And in the next seat in the cinema, yes. 1007 01:06:35,037 --> 01:06:38,666 I liked you being there because it made me feeI safe. 1008 01:06:38,717 --> 01:06:40,594 I wasn't trying to show off. 1009 01:06:40,637 --> 01:06:42,628 No. I know. 1010 01:07:04,197 --> 01:07:05,596 What's up? 1011 01:07:10,677 --> 01:07:13,032 Why are you being like this? 1012 01:07:13,077 --> 01:07:16,956 That's rich after the way you behaved last night! 1013 01:07:16,997 --> 01:07:18,510 What do you mean? 1014 01:07:18,557 --> 01:07:22,157 Oh, so you don't remember saying that you loved Helena then? 1015 01:07:22,157 --> 01:07:24,227 What?! Helena? 1016 01:07:26,957 --> 01:07:30,711 I remember going to sleep in that cabin, 1017 01:07:30,757 --> 01:07:33,555 then nothing till I woke up here. 1018 01:07:33,597 --> 01:07:35,986 So you don't remember pushing me away? 1019 01:07:36,037 --> 01:07:38,949 Of course I didn't push you away. 1020 01:07:38,997 --> 01:07:40,271 l'd never do that. 1021 01:07:41,717 --> 01:07:43,355 You must have been dreaming. 1022 01:07:44,917 --> 01:07:46,953 Maybe I was. 1023 01:07:47,997 --> 01:07:52,149 What's going on? I don't know. 1024 01:08:14,477 --> 01:08:16,945 What? THEO: Hermia? 1025 01:08:16,997 --> 01:08:19,192 Dad! 1026 01:08:24,117 --> 01:08:26,028 Whoever you choose, 1027 01:08:26,077 --> 01:08:30,229 whoever you want to be with, as long as you're happy. 1028 01:08:38,637 --> 01:08:40,707 Sorry, James. 1029 01:08:40,757 --> 01:08:43,066 That's fine. I don't love your daughter anymore, Theo. 1030 01:08:43,117 --> 01:08:44,789 Oh, I see! 1031 01:08:44,837 --> 01:08:47,032 What? Something happened. 1032 01:08:47,077 --> 01:08:49,317 I can't explain. You lot! 1033 01:08:49,317 --> 01:08:51,837 You nearly gave Theo a heart attack. And for what? 1034 01:08:51,837 --> 01:08:55,386 Polly. I know you want to be the angry one now and then, 1035 01:08:55,437 --> 01:08:56,916 but everybody's happy. 1036 01:08:58,477 --> 01:08:59,990 POLLY: Yes, they are. 1037 01:09:00,037 --> 01:09:02,710 Although I would like some sort of an explanation. 1038 01:09:02,757 --> 01:09:06,989 By some power, my love for Hermia has melted like snow. 1039 01:09:09,437 --> 01:09:12,588 Well, we better get moving, we've got a party to get ready for. 1040 01:09:14,117 --> 01:09:15,948 Your mother and l, 1041 01:09:15,997 --> 01:09:17,874 we're going to renew our vows. 1042 01:09:17,917 --> 01:09:20,117 Oh, that's fantastic! 1043 01:09:20,117 --> 01:09:21,157 Congratulations! 1044 01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:25,992 Are we? Really? Really. 1045 01:09:26,037 --> 01:09:29,632 That's if you would like to celebrate our new start and all that. 1046 01:09:29,677 --> 01:09:31,668 Yes, I would. 1047 01:09:31,717 --> 01:09:33,389 Yes, I would! 1048 01:09:33,437 --> 01:09:36,235 So when did you think of this then? 1049 01:09:36,277 --> 01:09:39,517 lf I told you a big fairy whispered it to me, would you believe me? 1050 01:09:39,517 --> 01:09:41,109 Did you get that as well? 1051 01:09:41,157 --> 01:09:45,673 There must be something in the air. (Laughs) 1052 01:09:47,637 --> 01:09:50,397 Tripping off their heads, every last one of them! 1053 01:09:50,397 --> 01:09:52,957 Maybe they've opened their eyes for the first time. 1054 01:09:52,957 --> 01:09:55,232 lt's amazing what that can do for people! 1055 01:09:56,317 --> 01:09:58,785 They can't just change their minds like that! 1056 01:09:58,837 --> 01:10:02,989 They can and they have. lt's mother and father now, not daughter and son-in-law. 1057 01:10:03,037 --> 01:10:04,550 You got a new shirt, by the way? 1058 01:10:04,597 --> 01:10:06,906 I just thought I'd make a bit of an effort. 1059 01:10:06,957 --> 01:10:08,675 lt won't be easy without Bottom. 1060 01:10:08,717 --> 01:10:11,117 He was struggling, anyway, all that animaI stuff. 1061 01:10:11,117 --> 01:10:12,630 Too alternative for this crowd. 1062 01:10:12,677 --> 01:10:14,827 Bottom's not turned up? He's run out on us. 1063 01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:18,790 Hopefully seeking psychiatric help. We're stuffed without him. 1064 01:10:18,837 --> 01:10:21,590 l'll slip in a couple of extra songs. We should pull out. 1065 01:10:21,637 --> 01:10:24,515 They'll make do with a disco and a 3-course gala dinner. 1066 01:10:24,557 --> 01:10:27,390 We can't do it without Bottom, anyway. We can't cancel! 1067 01:10:27,437 --> 01:10:29,553 lf this is cancelled I'll get the sack! 1068 01:10:29,597 --> 01:10:31,872 Nobody's gonna sack you for pulling out of a gig. 1069 01:10:31,917 --> 01:10:34,431 They are if you've already taken the fee. 1070 01:10:34,477 --> 01:10:36,911 What fee? You never said anything about any fee! 1071 01:10:36,957 --> 01:10:39,073 You said this was new duties. 1072 01:10:39,117 --> 01:10:41,187 I was going to share it out after the gig. 1073 01:10:41,237 --> 01:10:43,357 I didn't want to put any pressure on you! 1074 01:10:43,357 --> 01:10:45,517 Oh, yeah? And what paid for your new guitar? 1075 01:10:45,517 --> 01:10:47,633 And the watch! And the shirt! 1076 01:10:47,677 --> 01:10:49,997 You know what it's like when you get started on catalogues. 1077 01:10:49,997 --> 01:10:51,430 How much have you been paid? 1078 01:10:51,477 --> 01:10:52,705 300. 1079 01:10:52,757 --> 01:10:54,917 Oh. And what? 1080 01:10:54,917 --> 01:10:57,357 99. You thieving git! 1081 01:10:57,357 --> 01:10:58,756 Right. 1082 01:10:58,797 --> 01:11:01,675 That's 1 50 each. Me, Snout and Snug. 1083 01:11:01,717 --> 01:11:04,072 Otherwise... Well, we're just not going on. 1084 01:11:04,117 --> 01:11:06,677 That leaves me with less than what I started with. 1085 01:11:06,717 --> 01:11:08,673 lt's that or the sack, Quincy boy! 1086 01:11:24,797 --> 01:11:28,346 You look nice. Thanks. 1087 01:11:28,397 --> 01:11:30,991 Was there anything else? 1088 01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:32,868 A bit of cloud talk? 1089 01:11:32,917 --> 01:11:36,273 Well, the main thing I want to say, 1090 01:11:36,317 --> 01:11:43,234 the main thing you need to know is something's changed - in here. 1091 01:11:43,277 --> 01:11:45,791 What might that be? 1092 01:11:45,837 --> 01:11:48,637 I don't feeI angry or upset about Hermia anymore. 1093 01:11:49,957 --> 01:11:53,836 Because I realise that I've got you. 1094 01:11:53,877 --> 01:11:56,914 So, I'm what? The consolation prize? 1095 01:11:56,957 --> 01:11:59,676 No! No, I didn't mean it like that. 1096 01:11:59,717 --> 01:12:01,867 I meant... lt's like... 1097 01:12:01,917 --> 01:12:04,795 James, last night you humiliated me! 1098 01:12:04,837 --> 01:12:08,034 Well, there were one or two hiccups, admittedly. 1099 01:12:08,077 --> 01:12:11,069 And now you're talking to me like it never even happened. 1100 01:12:11,117 --> 01:12:13,347 But I've changed! Well, good for you. 1101 01:12:13,397 --> 01:12:17,356 Maybe I've changed too. Maybe l've stopped being such a pushover! 1102 01:12:27,117 --> 01:12:30,427 Just when you're thinking things over 1103 01:12:31,877 --> 01:12:35,347 And you need a set of vows 1104 01:12:36,557 --> 01:12:40,550 And when the sweetness you're saving 1105 01:12:40,597 --> 01:12:44,637 ls all the sweetness you doubt 1106 01:12:44,637 --> 01:12:46,992 I'm coming home 1107 01:12:47,037 --> 01:12:51,508 You look good when your heart is on fire 1108 01:12:51,557 --> 01:12:54,071 lt's a matter of taste, yeah 1109 01:12:55,197 --> 01:12:59,031 You do it fine You don't follow the line 1110 01:12:59,077 --> 01:13:01,671 Find the sun... 1111 01:13:06,317 --> 01:13:09,548 I have loved you, Polly, for as long as I've known you. 1112 01:13:09,597 --> 01:13:13,306 But somewhere... somewhere along the way, 1113 01:13:13,357 --> 01:13:16,235 I stopped telling you. 1114 01:13:16,277 --> 01:13:19,030 And that is why I'm so glad 1115 01:13:19,077 --> 01:13:25,107 that here, today, in front of our friends and our loved ones, 1116 01:13:25,157 --> 01:13:28,832 I am able to tell you exactly what is in my heart. 1117 01:13:30,397 --> 01:13:34,390 And this will surprise you, because it certainly surprised me. 1118 01:13:36,197 --> 01:13:37,710 l've written a poem. 1119 01:13:40,677 --> 01:13:44,465 ''Yours is the voice I hope to hear 1120 01:13:44,517 --> 01:13:48,430 ''When my phone says one missed call. 1121 01:13:48,477 --> 01:13:52,026 ''Yours are the hands I want holding my ladder 1122 01:13:52,077 --> 01:13:55,706 ''When I'm papering the stairs and the hall. 1123 01:13:55,757 --> 01:14:00,547 ''Yours is the face I long to see when I'm delayed at Waterloo. 1124 01:14:00,597 --> 01:14:04,476 ''Yours is the duvet I long to share 1125 01:14:04,517 --> 01:14:06,957 ''When my Calor Gas is through. 1126 01:14:06,957 --> 01:14:11,428 ''Yours is the sartoriaI eye that I crave 1127 01:14:11,477 --> 01:14:14,549 ''When I'm having last-minute suit-doubts. 1128 01:14:16,117 --> 01:14:18,711 ''Yours is the hand that I want to hold 1129 01:14:18,757 --> 01:14:23,228 ''During funerals and penalty shoot-outs. 1130 01:14:25,357 --> 01:14:28,190 ''Long before my mind was made up, 1131 01:14:28,237 --> 01:14:31,912 ''My heart belonged to you. 1132 01:14:31,957 --> 01:14:36,189 ''At last I'm listening to all that it says 1133 01:14:36,237 --> 01:14:40,674 ''And I hope that you are too.'' 1134 01:14:58,277 --> 01:15:00,313 You'll be all right once you get on. 1135 01:15:00,357 --> 01:15:02,917 I can't. Just try and think about the money. 1136 01:15:02,957 --> 01:15:04,709 I know I am! OK, chaps. 1137 01:15:04,757 --> 01:15:07,635 Let's get moving on the old entertainment front, shall we? 1138 01:15:07,677 --> 01:15:10,908 Yes, sure. Any moment. We do have an agreed timetable! 1139 01:15:10,957 --> 01:15:13,949 OK, fine. One second. 1140 01:15:13,997 --> 01:15:15,669 I can't do it without Bottom. 1141 01:15:15,717 --> 01:15:18,550 I could do it when he was here. You'll be fine. 1142 01:15:18,597 --> 01:15:20,508 You're not getting it, are you? 1143 01:15:20,557 --> 01:15:22,593 Bottom is not gonna turn up. 1144 01:15:22,637 --> 01:15:25,231 We will never hear his terrible gags ever again! 1145 01:15:25,277 --> 01:15:26,756 All right, Quince! 1146 01:15:26,797 --> 01:15:28,594 Or should I say, ''Wince''! 1147 01:15:28,637 --> 01:15:30,593 Bottom! Oh, mate! 1148 01:15:30,637 --> 01:15:32,229 I knew you wouldn't let us down. 1149 01:15:32,277 --> 01:15:34,154 You made it then. Where've you been? 1150 01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,313 More a case of where HAVEN'T I been. 1151 01:15:36,357 --> 01:15:38,473 l've just had the night of my life. 1152 01:15:38,517 --> 01:15:40,906 Maybe, but we better get on with the show. 1153 01:15:40,957 --> 01:15:43,027 Oh, yeah? Like a dream. 1154 01:15:43,077 --> 01:15:44,795 From start to finish. lt was... 1155 01:15:44,837 --> 01:15:46,555 Well, a dream. 1156 01:15:46,597 --> 01:15:48,508 That's the only way I can explain it. 1157 01:15:48,557 --> 01:15:50,946 So I take it there was a woman involved? 1158 01:15:50,997 --> 01:15:53,795 No. Three women! 1159 01:15:53,837 --> 01:15:55,509 There'll be time for this later. 1160 01:15:55,557 --> 01:15:57,513 They left with smiles on their faces. 1161 01:15:57,557 --> 01:16:00,754 I take it you didn't tell any jokes. Odd you should mention that. 1162 01:16:00,797 --> 01:16:03,914 I did try some material. They couldn't get enough of me. 1163 01:16:03,957 --> 01:16:06,312 Thought I was hilarious. 1164 01:16:06,357 --> 01:16:08,188 You had me believing you till then. 1165 01:16:15,797 --> 01:16:21,474 Ladies and gentlemen, our first act here is ready to bamboozle you, 1166 01:16:21,517 --> 01:16:25,635 to enchant you, to beguile you with some close-up magic. 1167 01:16:25,677 --> 01:16:27,717 lt's Mr Snug. 1168 01:16:32,077 --> 01:16:34,307 Thanks. Hi. 1169 01:16:36,357 --> 01:16:39,474 So, surely, erm... 1170 01:16:39,517 --> 01:16:45,592 this is a bottle of, er, unopened water made of glass? 1171 01:16:45,637 --> 01:16:47,229 Tell me something I don't know. 1172 01:16:49,477 --> 01:16:53,834 And, er, this is a metaI coin of the realm. 1173 01:16:55,437 --> 01:16:58,873 So, how can it be, I hear you ask... 1174 01:16:58,917 --> 01:17:01,715 ALL: How can it be? 1175 01:17:01,757 --> 01:17:05,670 How can it be that when I do this... 1176 01:17:05,717 --> 01:17:07,197 What, it makes a ringing sound? 1177 01:17:07,197 --> 01:17:08,630 No. 1178 01:17:11,437 --> 01:17:13,348 That this happens. 1179 01:17:18,477 --> 01:17:20,229 This happens... 1180 01:17:25,197 --> 01:17:27,188 Wait. 1181 01:17:41,837 --> 01:17:43,907 Thank you. 1182 01:17:46,157 --> 01:17:47,636 I thank you! 1183 01:17:47,677 --> 01:17:52,353 Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to penetrate your mind. 1184 01:18:09,997 --> 01:18:11,988 Are you all right? 1185 01:18:13,757 --> 01:18:14,985 Are you happy? 1186 01:18:15,037 --> 01:18:16,675 Couldn't be happier. 1187 01:18:16,717 --> 01:18:19,470 Good. I was worried about you. 1188 01:18:19,517 --> 01:18:20,996 Not because of you and James, 1189 01:18:21,037 --> 01:18:24,397 but because you didn't feel you could come to us, or at least me, 1190 01:18:24,397 --> 01:18:26,149 and talk about it. 1191 01:18:26,197 --> 01:18:27,915 Because you can, you know. I know. 1192 01:18:27,957 --> 01:18:30,630 And I'm sorry about the engagement party. 1193 01:18:30,677 --> 01:18:32,235 You shouldn't be. 1194 01:18:32,277 --> 01:18:36,316 Besides, if you hadn't cancelled, l wouldn't be getting another wedding day. 1195 01:18:38,037 --> 01:18:41,916 l've never seen Dad like this, all romantic. 1196 01:18:41,957 --> 01:18:43,675 He was always romantic. 1197 01:18:43,717 --> 01:18:47,869 Was he? lt just...sort of got buried. 1198 01:18:47,917 --> 01:18:50,917 But I always knew his romantic side would come back out again 1199 01:18:50,917 --> 01:18:52,748 when the time was right. 1200 01:18:52,797 --> 01:18:55,357 Are you sure that wasn't just wishfuI thinking? 1201 01:18:55,397 --> 01:18:57,437 You can't build a marriage on wishfuI thinking. 1202 01:18:57,437 --> 01:18:59,393 I thought you'd realise that by now. 1203 01:19:02,037 --> 01:19:05,029 He seems like a nice lad. He is. 1204 01:19:05,077 --> 01:19:07,193 Amazing, really, given his upbringing. 1205 01:19:07,237 --> 01:19:09,353 l'm sure. 1206 01:19:09,397 --> 01:19:13,026 All that wealth and he's come out of the other end so sussed. 1207 01:19:14,597 --> 01:19:16,076 All what wealth? 1208 01:19:18,957 --> 01:19:22,233 And I believe this is your card, sir. 1209 01:19:22,277 --> 01:19:24,108 lt is indeed! 1210 01:19:29,797 --> 01:19:31,116 Helena! 1211 01:19:36,117 --> 01:19:38,073 No marks for originality, sunshine! 1212 01:19:43,237 --> 01:19:50,473 He was beautiful... 1213 01:19:50,517 --> 01:19:52,826 You and me, we sort of belong together. 1214 01:19:54,557 --> 01:19:57,435 Why have you always hung around with Hermia and me? 1215 01:19:58,517 --> 01:19:59,996 And why did I never mind, eh? 1216 01:20:00,037 --> 01:20:02,551 So what are you trying to say here? 1217 01:20:02,597 --> 01:20:05,316 Well, basically... 1218 01:20:05,357 --> 01:20:10,067 l'm... lt's... You see, it's to do with the love thing, isn't it? 1219 01:20:10,117 --> 01:20:12,995 The love thing? Yeah. 1220 01:20:13,037 --> 01:20:15,710 You know. You and me. 1221 01:20:15,757 --> 01:20:18,066 Over the years. And now it's obvious. 1222 01:20:18,117 --> 01:20:21,507 Although with one or two hiccups. Well, maybe more than one or two. 1223 01:20:21,557 --> 01:20:25,277 And, not entirely to blame, personalities. Mix-ups. But... 1224 01:20:25,277 --> 01:20:26,426 But? 1225 01:20:28,837 --> 01:20:31,476 Well, isn't it obvious? Not really. 1226 01:20:31,517 --> 01:20:33,075 Why, I as good as said it. 1227 01:20:33,117 --> 01:20:34,914 But you DlDN'T say it. 1228 01:20:35,837 --> 01:20:37,111 I love you. 1229 01:20:38,437 --> 01:20:40,507 There! 1230 01:20:42,637 --> 01:20:44,117 I LOVE YOU ! 1231 01:20:44,117 --> 01:20:45,948 Shut up! Right. 1232 01:20:54,357 --> 01:20:56,268 Other people's families, eh? 1233 01:20:56,317 --> 01:20:58,035 Always a nightmare. 1234 01:20:58,077 --> 01:21:01,831 Oh, this is nothing compared to my lot. 1235 01:21:01,877 --> 01:21:04,869 My parents would never do anything like this. 1236 01:21:04,917 --> 01:21:08,626 Far too stuffy. Oh, I'm sure that's not true. 1237 01:21:08,677 --> 01:21:11,953 lt's all that money, you see. lt's crippled them. 1238 01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:15,034 Well, that can happen. 1239 01:21:15,077 --> 01:21:17,591 Thank goodness Grandad put my inheritance into a trust. 1240 01:21:17,637 --> 01:21:20,947 At least I can be more creative with my share. 1241 01:21:20,997 --> 01:21:24,626 Open up a gallery, maybe. Or a flotation tank studio, perhaps. 1242 01:21:24,677 --> 01:21:26,986 l'm sorry? 1243 01:21:27,037 --> 01:21:28,629 lt's art, Zander. 1244 01:21:28,677 --> 01:21:31,316 lt's just not hanging on a gallery wall. Cheers! 1245 01:21:32,917 --> 01:21:35,277 And now for some fun and frivolity, 1246 01:21:35,277 --> 01:21:39,557 DreamPark is proud to present... Mr Nicholas Bottom. 1247 01:21:46,117 --> 01:21:47,917 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 1248 01:21:47,917 --> 01:21:49,316 Good evening! 1249 01:21:49,357 --> 01:21:52,906 Aren't trousers funny when you think about it? 1250 01:21:52,957 --> 01:21:54,754 Not really! 1251 01:21:54,797 --> 01:21:57,117 Ah, I see we've got a comedian in the house. 1252 01:21:57,117 --> 01:21:58,186 That's a relief. 1253 01:21:58,237 --> 01:21:59,437 When does he come on? 1254 01:22:00,557 --> 01:22:04,675 You may be quick-witted, sir, but that can't compensate for the fact 1255 01:22:04,717 --> 01:22:08,232 you look like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle. 1256 01:22:10,557 --> 01:22:13,993 I got a job as a postman the other week. 1257 01:22:14,037 --> 01:22:18,474 lt's not very much, but, you know, it's better than walking the streets. 1258 01:22:18,517 --> 01:22:23,466 Eh? Better than walking the streets? 1259 01:22:23,517 --> 01:22:26,236 Did you ever deliver any French letters? No. 1260 01:22:26,277 --> 01:22:29,508 But I wish I'd delivered one to your father. 1261 01:22:30,477 --> 01:22:34,516 Because then he wouldn't have had you, see? 1262 01:22:35,757 --> 01:22:37,634 Does anyone like impressions? 1263 01:22:37,677 --> 01:22:40,037 As long as it's an impression of a comedian. 1264 01:22:42,917 --> 01:22:47,945 My little boy came home from schooI the other day 1265 01:22:47,997 --> 01:22:49,477 and said he'd been learning 1266 01:22:49,477 --> 01:22:51,991 about Columbus going 5,000 miles on a galleon. 1267 01:22:52,037 --> 01:22:55,837 I said, ''You don't want to believe everything you hear 1268 01:22:55,837 --> 01:22:57,597 ''about those foreign cars.'' 1269 01:23:08,357 --> 01:23:10,746 I was going down the street the other day 1270 01:23:10,797 --> 01:23:14,995 and who should I bump into but The Office's Mr David Brent. 1271 01:23:53,277 --> 01:23:57,190 I wasn't born offensive. I had to practise. 1272 01:23:57,237 --> 01:24:01,515 Some people get offended for no reason! 1273 01:24:01,557 --> 01:24:04,754 But if you did get offended, the best thing? 1274 01:24:06,317 --> 01:24:10,469 The third and finaI nugget from the Bank of Puck - 1275 01:24:10,517 --> 01:24:12,394 pretend it were a dream. 1276 01:24:12,437 --> 01:24:14,029 lt works every time. 1277 01:24:17,917 --> 01:24:19,396 Hold still. 1278 01:24:38,557 --> 01:24:40,707 All I'm saying is, 1279 01:24:40,757 --> 01:24:42,748 that if we've upset you, 1280 01:24:42,797 --> 01:24:46,346 then I can come round to yours and sort you out. 1281 01:24:46,397 --> 01:24:50,072 l'm not a liar. I really will. 1282 01:24:50,117 --> 01:24:51,596 Trust me. 97107

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