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1
00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:05,437
(alarm ringing)
2
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:12,644
♪
3
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,781
Both:
Happy birthday, khia!
4
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,649
Wait. Why are
you already awake?!
5
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:21,920
Because you guys wake me up at
3:19 on my birthday every year
6
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:23,655
And it is terrifying.
7
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,658
So, I decided to skip
the heart attack this time.
8
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,060
How else are we supposed
to celebrate your birthday
9
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:29,461
Down to the exact minute?
10
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,529
Maybe you could just not.
11
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,331
Absurd.
It's a pham fam tradition.
12
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,466
- Alright.
- Yeah.
13
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,101
Ow. Ow.
14
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,403
Say "cheese".
15
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,736
Both:
Cheese.
16
00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:40,538
Ah, good!
17
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:44,009
(yawning)
can I go back to bed now?
18
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,811
Khia, the traditional
recounting of the birth
19
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:50,148
Must occur at the exact
anniversary of said birth,
20
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,683
Down to the second.
21
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,852
Fine,
but I'm lying down.
22
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:58,223
Okay.
Let me take you back 16 years.
23
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,559
I was eight days overdue.
24
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,827
I was cranky af.
25
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,230
And your dad was
at the grocery store
26
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,765
When I lost
my mucous plug.
27
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,832
Oh, mom!
28
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,501
How does the story get grosser
29
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,036
Every time you tell it?!
30
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,638
Wait until you hear the part
about me pooping on the doctor.
31
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,006
Oh, it's true. She did.
32
00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,175
And so did you, actually.
33
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:20,111
So, we were on
our way to the hospital
34
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,247
And there was so much traffic.
35
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:26,051
(singing)
36
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:28,320
Aw, hell yeah! Leo!
37
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,322
You wanna help me
make some frosting?
38
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,858
Not now!
I'm wrapping my present!
39
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:33,925
(andrew imitating air horn)
40
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:36,795
Wait a second! Does this mean--
41
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,999
♪ your girl passed her test
your girl passed her test ♪
42
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:42,801
Camille: Oh, my god.
It's going to be so amazing
43
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,136
When you're fully licensed.
44
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,737
She could do costco runs!
45
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,472
Oh, and take leo
to swimming lessons.
46
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,407
Whatever, I will do
your stupid errands.
47
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:51,309
Just gimmie the keys!
48
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,444
Whoa!
Pump your brakes, ricky bobby.
49
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:54,813
Before I put you on the streets,
50
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,015
I gotta teach you
about the streets.
51
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,883
Of rockridge?
52
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,752
I'm not sure if you're aware,
but there's a very negative
53
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,754
Stereotype out there about...
54
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,756
(whispering)
asian drivers.
55
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,492
Yes, you've mentioned it
a few times.
56
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,094
I've spent my whole life trying
to prove those stereotypes wrong
57
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,097
And avoid all the racist crap
I saw my parents put up with,
58
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,700
Especially on the road.
59
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,636
Okay, but your mom
is actually a bad driver.
60
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,838
Some bad drivers are asian,
61
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,774
But not all asians
are bad drivers!
62
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,110
Sam: Hey, hey, hey!
63
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,611
- (gasping)
- happy birthday, babe!
64
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,047
- Hi!
- (laughing)
65
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:30,515
Thank you, sam!
66
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,050
Uh, whoa, excuse me.
67
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:34,452
Have you forgotten
the phamily birthday gift rule?
68
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,520
No pressies until after cake.
69
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,122
Oh.
70
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:39,858
Okay.
Dad, can we do a lesson today?
71
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,594
Rock and roll.
72
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,729
It felt right.
73
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:44,796
Yes! I'm going to go change.
74
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:48,800
Whoa, what are you doing?!
75
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,835
I'm just vetting sam's gift.
76
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:54,406
I love you, but last year you
gave leo a teeth whitening kit.
77
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,743
Okay, a birthday gift
is a very sacred thing
78
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,011
Between giver
and receiver.
79
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,747
Where is the little
scamp anyway?
80
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,147
Supposed to be taking
him to a play place.
81
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,417
Yeah, about that,
are you using our son
82
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,553
To try and meet cute
single parents or something?
83
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,153
(laughing)
84
00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,623
What, I can't hang out with my
godson without ulterior motives?
85
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:12,691
You're not his godmother.
86
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,492
Not yet.
87
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,928
♪
88
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,062
- ♪ there was a time... ♪
- (sighing)
89
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,633
(tapping)
90
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,536
♪ now I'm so lost... ♪
91
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,770
Some weather we're having.
92
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:26,838
Hm.
93
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,174
It's been grayer
than usual.
94
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,976
You guys need anything else?
95
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,310
No, thank you, cathy.
96
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,647
Your food tastes
grayer than usual.
97
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,516
Okay! Alright, cathy, cathy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
98
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,518
Let-- let's just talk
over here. Let's go.
99
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,523
Okay, you probably noticed
that ramesh is having
100
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:46,792
A hard time with
the barb break up.
101
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:47,726
Yeah, everyone's noticed.
102
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,127
I'm trying to get him to talk,
103
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,062
But I know he won't feel
better until he talks it out.
104
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,397
People just have
a hard time talking.
105
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,865
Like me trying to get you
to open up about your mom?
106
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,133
Let it go.
107
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:57,269
Us emotionally advanced find
108
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,404
Indirect ways of
channelling our emotions.
109
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,207
Sports, road rage, mall walks.
110
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,009
Emotionally advanced
or emotionally repressed?
111
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:07,279
He's not just gonna say
his feelings like some chump.
112
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:10,616
Unless he doesn't know
he's talking about his feelings.
113
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,017
- I gotta go to my office.
- No.
114
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:13,351
- Grab something.
- No.
115
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,353
I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
116
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:15,754
No, no, no!
Do it somewhere else! No!
117
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,023
Woo! Let's go, baby!
118
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,024
It's happening so fast.
119
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,959
Whoa, now.
120
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:23,995
Hold up.
What do you think you're doing?
121
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,430
Learning to drive.
122
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,832
Not without an evi.
123
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:27,833
What?
124
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:30,068
Exterior visual inspection.
125
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:33,705
As we know, van diesel
sustained a mystery injury.
126
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,573
A good reminder of the hazards
127
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,042
You'll likely
encounter on the road.
128
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,711
First step,
you gotta knock on the hood--
129
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,446
(knocking)
130
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,848
--To make sure there's no cats
hiding in the undercarriage.
131
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,718
Cats! That's why you do that!
132
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,953
Yeah, they like to curl
up there to stay warm
133
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,455
But if you start the car--
(meowing)
134
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,923
(whispering)
cat murderer.
135
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:52,890
Oh, god.
136
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,793
Violent... Okay.
137
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,861
Cat check.
(knocking)
138
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,463
Check.
139
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,599
Next, we gotta make sure your
tail pipe is clear of bananas.
140
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:02,633
What?
141
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,738
Leo: Part-time nun pulls out
a machine gun from under
142
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,074
Her robes
and takes out a pirate ship!
143
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,076
And your parents
let you watch this?
144
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,879
Only the first five seasons.
Then it gets dark.
145
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,547
Sam, hey.
146
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:16,748
Xavier, hi.
147
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,352
Okay, buddy. Have fun out there.
148
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,753
I'm good.
149
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:26,424
Winnie, do you remember
sam from a couple weeks ago?
150
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,127
- And...
- My darling son, leo.
151
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,930
Aw, you can go play. Go.
152
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,298
(chuckling)
153
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,700
Sam, I am so glad
you could hang out.
154
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:38,770
There are not a lot of moms
our age in this industry.
155
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:41,506
It's just so nice that
we don't have to explain
156
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:42,574
Everything to each other.
157
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,543
Yeah. Exactly.
158
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,712
Hey, I heard your firm just
landed that big telecom account.
159
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,315
- Congratulations!
- Yeah. Aw.
160
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,183
Telecom, am I right ?
161
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,685
(xavier laughing)
162
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,053
What are you
up to these days?
163
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,189
Um, just freelancing mostly.
164
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:01,593
And hanging out with this scamp.
(chuckling)
165
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:03,194
That is so nice.
166
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,195
And you're how old?
167
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,330
Twelve. Skipped a few grades
168
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,600
'cause my iq is off the charts.
169
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:12,003
They actually studied me
to make a new chart.
170
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,605
Oh, wow!
171
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,941
Your mom
must be so proud.
172
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,876
Are you, mother?
173
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,845
Mm! Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
174
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,682
Fasten your seatbelt,
depress the brake,
175
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,952
Press the button,
release the parking brake,
176
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,854
Check your rear-view mirror,
your side mirror,
177
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,423
Check your blind spots, check
your rear-view mirror again.
178
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,391
Then, and only then
may you gradually
179
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,560
And slowly ease
into the roadway.
180
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,495
Okay, but you're not
going to do the whole rigmarole
181
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,030
Every single time you drive!
182
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,498
I do!
183
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:41,633
Well, what if you're trying
to escape a hoard of zombies?!
184
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,367
Camille,
we've talked about this.
185
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,837
Those movies with
fast zombies aren't realistic.
186
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,305
We got time.
187
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,242
All I'm saying is that part
of driving is being flexible.
188
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,444
While also being
hypervigilant and alert!
189
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,178
The tiniest mistake and bam!
190
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:57,649
You're a bad asian driver!
191
00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,150
Yeah,
because people are the worst,
192
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:01,252
But it's not her
responsibility to make
193
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,154
Racist jerks
not be racist jerks!
194
00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:04,990
But if you had the choice
between her dealing with that
195
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,724
And not dealing with that,
what would you choose?
196
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,526
That's not a choice we have!
That's the world we live in!
197
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:12,130
Anyways, since when is being
a good driver ever a bad thing?
198
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,466
Just tell me who
I should listen to, okay?
199
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:16,902
Okay.
200
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,135
- Okay.
- Um...
201
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:19,337
How about this?
202
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,806
We'll both teach you
using our own approach
203
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:22,940
And see which one works.
204
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:26,711
Oh! Driving teacher battle.
205
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,480
It's on!
206
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:30,348
Time for some music.
207
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,083
(sighing)
208
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,418
- (music playing)
- that's--
209
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,888
No! No music!
That was a test!
210
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:39,524
You need access to
all your senses at all times!
211
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,526
I'll drive us to a lot
where you can practice!
212
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,028
Oh, my god.
213
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,366
Andrew:
Vehicles are weapons.
214
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:51,169
The power of life and death
is in your hands.
215
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,639
You're always one tiny mistakes
away from complete catastrophe.
216
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,208
Seatbelt, ignition,
217
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,110
Brake, parking brake,
218
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,378
Shift gears,
219
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,580
Side view mirror,
rear-view mirror,
220
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,716
Blind spots.
221
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,450
Um, and rear-view.
222
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,052
(clapping)
alright.
223
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:11,188
Now take your foot off the brake
and give it a little gas.
224
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,593
Brake!
225
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:15,860
(horn honking)
226
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,929
You're learning.
227
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,196
Next time just--
228
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:20,164
(horn honking)
229
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,165
What do I do?!
230
00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:22,199
Just follow the steps--
231
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:23,134
Seatbelt--
232
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,869
(horn honking)
233
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:29,140
She is learning to drive,
you monster!
234
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,742
See?
All drivers are nightmares!
235
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,477
They're all trying to kill you!
236
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,813
Okay, dad. I--
237
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,881
I need a change of energy.
Mom, you're up!
238
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,783
Just out.
239
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:45,423
And they just have
the most delicious macarons.
240
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,491
Oh, yeah. It's incredible.
241
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:47,825
Some of the best
french food I've ever had.
242
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:50,161
It can't be better
than that place in paris.
243
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,429
Right, mom?
244
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,232
Where did we have
that perfect café crème?
245
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,033
Ooh!
You've been to France?
246
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,135
Oui.
247
00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,505
Super!
Quel était ton café préféré?
248
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,474
(laughing in exaggerated
french accent)
249
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,411
I have an identical
twin brother.
250
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,246
I'm the good looking one.
251
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,714
(laughing)
252
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,016
Luca is his name.
253
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,184
Leo and luca,
that's us.
254
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,753
For real twins.
255
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,421
- Leo, what are you doing here?
- Leo: Jojo?
256
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,723
Who's this?
257
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,660
Um... My mother!
258
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,129
That's not your--
259
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,930
(whispering) blink twice if
you need me to call someone.
260
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:30,535
♪
261
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:33,438
Cricket? Really?
262
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,740
Don't these games
usually last days?
263
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,075
Yup! Five beautiful days
of yelling out our emotions.
264
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,346
Chris hawthorne's last test
match before he retires.
265
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,548
Announcer: This is going to
be a monumental occasion.
266
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:47,152
The most beloved
cricketer in recent memory.
267
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,153
He is beloved,
but everything's gotta come
268
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,288
To an end sooner or later,
you know?
269
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,289
And it's important to talk
about those things when they do.
270
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:53,425
So, you do.
271
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,627
He plays
with his whole heart.
272
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:59,564
If only everyone
could say the same.
273
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,766
Tell me about it.
274
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,035
No, seriously though,
like, tell me about it.
275
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,470
(clearing throat)
276
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,038
Announcer: Here comes the ball.
It's a spin to--
277
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,506
Oh, he hits it!
He flicks it over midwicket!
278
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:12,510
And it-- no! It's caught.
Oh no!
279
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,245
How very disappointing.
280
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,514
Disappointing, indeed.
281
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:20,585
I mean he had all his hopes
and dreams for today.
282
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,086
All dashed away.
283
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:27,525
How does that make you feel?
'cause I feel pretty bad.
284
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,861
It does make one think.
285
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:33,531
I, too, had hoped and dreamed
286
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,934
For a chocolate croissant.
287
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,601
Cathy, do you have one?
288
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:38,937
Coming up.
289
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,872
Announcer:
What a take indeed.
290
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,076
Thought you said
this would work.
291
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,811
- Never said that.
- Well, it didn't.
292
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,680
Now, we just gotta
get in there and dig deep.
293
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:49,747
- No. No, we don't.
- Yup.
294
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:50,948
Oh, oh!
295
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,617
We can role-play.
296
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,719
- No.
- Yes, yes.
297
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,020
Come on, cathy.
You gotta jump on board.
298
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,155
You gotta do this.
It's for meshy. Meshy needs us.
299
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,157
- Fine.
- Yes!
300
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,658
But I'm not calling him "meshy."
301
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,160
Okay, okay. Fine.
302
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:05,162
Camille: So, my approach
is more intuitive.
303
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:09,033
You have to see yourself
as an extension of the car.
304
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,903
Person and machine,
together as one.
305
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,304
How you feel?
306
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,406
Like I should stick
to taking the bus.
307
00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:16,841
I don't want you to be afraid.
308
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,709
I want you to be brave.
309
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:21,312
Like a fearless road warrior.
310
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,313
Andrew: Ooh!
311
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:25,382
(both laughing)
312
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:27,152
Oh, hell no. Okay.
313
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,186
- No.
- I've got this.
314
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,388
What? Dad! N-no!
315
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:34,792
Hey! It's my daughter's
sixteenth birthday
316
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,393
And she's learning how to drive.
317
00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:38,463
I'd like you to think
back to the first time
318
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,198
You did something,
and how you'd feel
319
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:42,266
If someone was laughing at you.
320
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:46,938
I think both of y'all got
some work to do on your empathy!
321
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,572
Stupid skater boys!
322
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:53,277
Oh, my gosh. Launch me into
the core of the sun.
323
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,280
Okay, well, now that
your dad has had his moment,
324
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,081
- Let's get out of here.
- Andrew: Whoa!
325
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,817
I don't know.
326
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,851
No.
You are a road warrior!
327
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,688
You're perpetrating
a hate crime, you dinks!
328
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,025
Oh! I don't know!
You guys should drive!
329
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,527
Just believe! Road warrior!
330
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:13,364
(screaming)
331
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,501
I'm doing it!
I'm dri-- I'm driving!
332
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,170
Camille: A little tighter
on the next turn, but great!
333
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,172
Now drive us home,
birthday girl.
334
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:25,777
Yeah, so leo's biological
parents are camille and andrew,
335
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,712
But recently we formed
a platonic throuple.
336
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,848
Wherein I take on parenting
duties on the weekends.
337
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,919
So, we get leo
and his twin brother luther--
338
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,187
- Luca.
- Loofa.
339
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,123
--To call me mom,
340
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,457
Because it avoids confusion
and-and--
341
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,126
And then
I get to feel involved.
342
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,461
Right, leo?
343
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,997
I don't think
she's buying it, sam.
344
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:49,868
I mean, what even is
a mother anyway, you know?
345
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,836
It takes a village
to raise a child,
346
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,270
And mothers can
come in all forms.
347
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,141
Biological and otherwise.
I mean, have you seen pose?
348
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,477
Um, if you'll excuse me.
My actual daughter needs me.
349
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,946
What's a throuple?
350
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:07,018
♪
351
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:11,356
Oh, it's okay. I'm--
I'm getting the hang of this.
352
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,091
Honestly, I rule at this.
353
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,626
I should open
my own driving school.
354
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,162
Yeah, we should.
355
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,764
Team effort.
356
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,433
Yeah, the me in team. Eh.
357
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,468
Andrew:
Brake! Brake! Brake!
358
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:32,644
Camille! This is your fault
and yours alone!
359
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,379
Oh, no. It's just a sign.
360
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:35,846
Andrew:
Just a sign?
361
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,449
It's shaped like a child
so you don't run over it!
362
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:39,783
You told me to turn tighter!
363
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:40,985
Oh she definitely did.
364
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,920
I didn't mean that tight,
and you, cut it out.
365
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,355
Hey, I'm just pointing out
who was in the front seat
366
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,389
When this happened.
367
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:48,660
- It's just--
- oh-- oh, my god.
368
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:50,461
Oh, my gosh!
369
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:53,531
Worst birthday ever!
370
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,333
Khia! You can't flee
the scene of an accident!
371
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,736
- It's so sad.
- He broke his foot.
372
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,871
- I'm writing a note.
- It's not even a useful sign
373
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:02,873
And I'll fix it.
And I have. New sign.
374
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,879
(clearing throat)
375
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:11,148
(banging)
376
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:14,018
(groaning)
you're so stubborn!
377
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,220
It's like it's
your way or no way.
378
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:17,889
Do you even believe in me?
379
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,023
Cathy?
380
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,424
What?!
381
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:23,828
It seems like there's
been some misdirected anger.
382
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,030
When I'm in emotionally
stressful scenarios,
383
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,099
I find that role playing helps.
384
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,535
Well, I don't need help!
I'm an island!
385
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,835
She said she's an island.
386
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:34,305
No, no, no! Hey!
Let's just try it!
387
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,906
Let's just try it.
388
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:39,043
If you must know,
389
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:42,113
That was really about...
390
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,248
My mom.
391
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,050
Great, that is great.
392
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,853
Ramesh,
you mind playing her mom?
393
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,021
Oh, I really--
394
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,089
Mom!
395
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,657
All my life I feel
like I haven't
396
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,192
Lived up to your expectations.
397
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,430
Like when I dropped out
of college and moved away.
398
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,767
Mom?
399
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:06,137
Ah, yes. Um...
400
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:10,007
Well, I suppose that's simply
because I wanted the best
401
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,208
For your future.
402
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,943
Is that all you have
to say for yourself?
403
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,779
Um, and...
404
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:20,418
I suppose I can
be overbearing, but...
405
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,022
I have a gentle heart,
406
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:29,093
And you leaving smashed
that into a million pieces.
407
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,897
I poured so much into this
relationship and you just left!
408
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,631
Well, I had to do
what was good for me,
409
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:36,100
Even if it was hard for you.
410
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,236
You didn't even give me
a chance to win you back!
411
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,470
You want me to be happy, right?
412
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:43,107
I-- yeah, of course.
413
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:47,044
(music playing over speakers)
414
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,113
I'm still sad about barb.
415
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,548
I'm mad at my mom.
416
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,651
You see? Do you see?!
417
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:57,588
Doesn't it feel good for your
hearts to just talk about it?
418
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,124
You mad genius.
You manipulated me.
419
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,927
For your own good, I'm sorry.
420
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,062
Okay, ramesh,
421
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,598
Do you wanna talk about barb?
422
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,934
And cathy, do you want to
423
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:14,805
Talk about your mom?
Let's have a chat. Okay.
424
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:18,676
♪
425
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,011
♪ I've been talking to... ♪
426
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:24,081
Seen any giant
holes I can climb into?
427
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,350
It wasn't that bad.
428
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,753
Okay, maybe not the best
way to spend your birthday.
429
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,356
Happy birthday,
by the way.
430
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,291
Thanks.
431
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,695
Remember when we use to
fantasize about being 16?
432
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,764
Driving cars, being free?
433
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,165
The fantasy was wrong.
434
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,233
I'm sorry.
435
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:45,102
My parents had
my anxiety on 1000
436
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,171
And I can't close
my eyes without seeing
437
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,174
That gingerbread massacre.
438
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,642
They really
freaked you out, huh?
439
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,845
No, I wasn't at first.
440
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:57,448
Then dad said that
the car was a murder weapon
441
00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:01,318
And mom was like,
"you're a warrior!"
442
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,654
It was just intense!
443
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,390
Andrew and camille
intense?
444
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,592
(laughing)
445
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:08,993
I'm glad you're laughing,
446
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,795
But I'm not the one you
should be telling all this to.
447
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,464
And, you know,
if you change your mind,
448
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:17,201
I'm at a school.
It's so much better.
449
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,236
My dad tried teaching me
450
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:21,338
And we lasted
all of three minutes.
451
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,874
(both chuckling)
452
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:24,942
Thanks.
453
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,210
I hope your
birthday gets better.
454
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,813
♪
455
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,816
♪ whoa, everybody wakes up ♪
456
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,684
♪ oh ♪
457
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,986
♪
458
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:39,023
I'm sorry about
all the drama, kiddo.
459
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,758
I met xavier
last time we went bowling.
460
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,960
She's a lawyer
I really want to network with,
461
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,129
And so when she
assumed you were my kid
462
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,365
I just kind of went with it.
463
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,168
Hm. The road to hell,
am I right?
464
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:51,569
Tell me about it.
465
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,971
So, when she dm'd me about
meeting up again I thought
466
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,840
I couldn't let
the opportunity get away.
467
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,576
And I should have explained it,
but then I felt weird
468
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,044
Asking you to lie for me.
469
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,713
Next time ask.
470
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,715
I love lying.
471
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:07,284
Cool.
472
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:10,387
But I feel like I should tell
your parents that you said that.
473
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,123
You wanna get out of here?
474
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,324
Yeah.
475
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,559
Sam!
476
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:18,529
Oh, xavier. Hi.
I am so sorry. I--
477
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,797
Text me next time
you're near the office
478
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,465
And we'll grab a coffee.
479
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:25,803
Wh-- oh. Yeah.
Okay. Great. Um...
480
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,538
I was pretty sure you'd never
want to speak to me again.
481
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:29,207
You know,
when I was starting out,
482
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:32,743
I used to try to schmooze
with lawyers at the health club.
483
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,412
Tore my achilles pretending
I knew how to play squash.
484
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,147
- (chuckling)
- I get your hustle.
485
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:38,916
It's hard out here.
486
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,418
Thank you.
487
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:42,886
Yeah. I'm always looking
for people who are willing
488
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:45,356
To go the extra mile.
489
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:46,990
Maybe you'll be
a lawyer someday.
490
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,630
How much money did you make when
you were a full time lawyer?
491
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,098
Oh, that's a rude question.
492
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,435
I know, but how much?
493
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,437
A lot, leo.
494
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,608
Camille: Do you think
the stars should be bigger?
495
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:04,709
Much bigger.
496
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,110
Okay, yeah. We're going
to have to start again.
497
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:08,312
Add more exclamation marks.
Okay, grab me the--
498
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,047
- You're home!
- Be chill.
499
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,418
You're home.
500
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,122
Khia, I'm sorry.
501
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,123
I pushed too hard.
502
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:20,958
We pushed too hard.
503
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,995
I know that you didn't mean to,
but you two made everything
504
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:26,464
A million times worse,
505
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,265
And because of that,
506
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,868
I'm-- I've decided
I'm never driving again.
507
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,135
What?! No.
508
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,139
I scratched van diesel!
509
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,173
What?!
510
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:37,875
You said it was
a mystery accident!
511
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,876
Yeah, why would you
lie about that?
512
00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:41,612
Because I didn't want to
play into the stereotype!
513
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,180
It was my first accident ever!
514
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,316
You ripped a side mirror off
going through a drive thru.
515
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:46,484
Didn't count.
Those angles are busted.
516
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:47,585
And the bumper in the snow bank?
517
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,954
But everyone makes mistakes.
518
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:54,025
The important thing is
that you get back in the car
519
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,561
And you try again.
Giving up is never the answer.
520
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,763
Your dad is right,
but there's no rush either.
521
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,699
We'll be ready
when you're ready.
522
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,835
Okay, well, when I am ready,
could you guys pitch in
523
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,670
To get me professional
driving lessons?
524
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:10,173
Yeah, of course,
we can swing that.
525
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:14,378
And because you totally
ruined my birthday,
526
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,047
Can I open presents early?
527
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,015
(chuckling)
528
00:20:19,953 --> 00:20:21,885
Ooh, from sam.
529
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,720
(chuckling)
530
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,390
(gasping)
a tiny glass.
531
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,492
Oh, khia, this is awkward,
532
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,127
But that's
actually a shot glass.
533
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,462
Oh, she's messing with us.
534
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,831
Yeah. Dad, it says
"day drunk" on it.
535
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:36,333
Thank you, auntie sam.
536
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,470
This is going away
for another three years.
537
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,805
Cake anyone?
538
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:46,410
♪
539
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,212
- I'm so excited for you.
- Me too.
540
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,214
Mannix said that this was
the best driving school.
541
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:51,482
- Oh!
- Mannix?
542
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,950
Y'all are talking again?
543
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,019
I think so? Maybe?
544
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,420
I don't know.
545
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,522
Baby steps.
Have fun, khia.
546
00:20:58,524 --> 00:20:59,690
Okay.
Oh, don't wait up!
547
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:03,694
Oh, man, he's asian?!
548
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:04,695
Andrew!
549
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:05,630
My bad.
550
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:06,897
I gotta unpack that later.
551
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:07,964
Hm.
552
00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:09,566
(knocking)
553
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,567
Good!
554
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:15,706
Aw, we really traumatized her.
555
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:16,707
Yeah.
556
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,710
Andrew:
I blame my parents.
557
00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:20,978
Oh, I blame you.
558
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,113
Yeah, that makes sense.
559
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,115
♪
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