All language subtitles for Run.the.Burbs.S02E02.1080p.WEBRip.x264-BAE[eztv.re]_track3_[eng]

Ta-da!

Welcome home, baby girl!

Dad!

I... I told you not
to make a big deal out of this.

But I had a coupon.

Plus, since I didn't
get that job,

I've got lots
of time for projects.

Alphabetizing the dvds,
colour coding my pants,

Showing my kid
how much I missed her.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Hey.

You know what they say.

"when one door closes,
make lemonade instead."

(laughing)

Stress is making you mix up
your metaphors again, huh?

Uh.

Hey, where's the pham
and the furious?

Oh, uh...

- We sold the car.
- What?!

But I was gonna learn
to drive with it!

- I know it's--
- hudson: Baby?

Baby? Baby?

Hudson.
You all right, man?

Yeah, you know,
just checkin' in and seein'

If mannix came home early
to surprise me

Because she loves me
more than her mom.

Did she?
Is she here?

Nope, just... Just me.

Excuse me.

You're a lucky man, andrew.

See you at the barbeque later?

Yeah.
It'll be me plus zero.

I'll always be your plus one.

♪

- (crying)
- it's okay.

It's okay.
It's okay.

- It's okay.
- (sobbing)

My precious little pakora!
(laughing)

You have literally
never called me that before.

I just missed you so much,
my little ladoo!

- How was the trip?
- Great.

- And the flight?
- Great.

You okay, my sweet ras malai?

I'm great.

Just jet lagged.

Gotcha.

Well, I'm making
all your favourites

For the welcome home barbeque.

Oh, and nikhil uncle is coming.

You don't have a brother.

Technically, no, he's my cousin,

But he moved to England
when you were little.

The soccer commentator.

(imitating british accent badly)
he's back and better than ever.

Now, presenting for the new
national football channel,

Strykr!

- (camille laughing)
- okay.

You think she regrets
coming home early?

Let's just give her some space.

Yeah.

I'm so excited
that nikhil is coming!

(imitating british accent badly)
it's the rematch

We've been waitin' for:
Cousin versus cousin.

So, you are gonna do
that accent the whole time?

(imitating british accent badly)
indisputably!

(sipping)

(imitating british accent)
well, I'll try my best...

(sipping)
..Not to be annoyed.

Aw, babe, I don't think you can
pull off a british accent.

♪

Really, leo?

Just need a hot minute.
I'm gonna miss having an office.

But, I made you something.

"welcome 'ome'.
Eiffel missed you."

Thanks.

So, what'd you get me?

Right.

Leonardo?

It's leo, but, more.

You went all the way to France
and got me a keychain?

Mm-hm.

Remember that time I got you
an electric toothbrush,

And I only went to the dentist?

Boy, that was free.

And you couldn't use it
'cause of your soft teeth.

So what else happened in paris?

- It was great.
- Did you eat snails?

Frog legs?

That stinky cheese
that's all mold?

(whispering)
did you smoke?

Look.
I'm tired.

Au revoir.

(sighing)
rude.

♪

Nikhil:
These aren't my arms or legs.

Ah! (laughing)
nikhil-back!

Camill-ionaire!

- (laughing)
- oh, my god!

Oh, what can I say?
We missed you.

- Makes a guy feel special.
- (laughing)

- Here.
- Oh, my gosh!

A whole box
of boston cream donuts?

You used to suck the filling
out of every one

Before I could get to it.

Oh, I only did it
to three of those.

Way to restrain yourself.

(laughing) come on.
Everyone's out back.

♪ (woman singing
in foreign language) ♪

Oh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Boy!
Oh, man.

That one looks a little crispy.

- Dawg.
- Dawg.

- Daawg.
- (laughing) you ain't get it.

- Daawg!
- It's a daawg!

- Oh, it's a crispy dog!
- My dog?!

- You my dawg?
- No, "you my dawg!"?

- No, you my dawg.
- I'm your dawg?!

- You my...
- Both: ..Dog!

- (dog barking)
- both: Dawg! (laughing)

Oh, man.
I needed that.

Same.

♪ (woman singing
in foreign language) ♪

I've been following
your chef account.

Very, uh, creative.

I'm just tryin' to have some fun
with recipes for holidays

And occasions.

Been thinking about a labour day
no-labour cheesecake.

That's awesome.

Hey, you should do something
for raksha bandhan.

Yeah!

What?

Really?
We did it when we were kids?

You made a killing.

Oh, the ceremony
where I tie the string thingy

Around your wrist and then you
have to give me money.

Oh, yeah? What's the string
thing called?

Uh, fashion.

(making buzzer sound)
a rakhi.

I might have to take
your brown card back.

Okay, you used to cry
when we ate daal.

'cause it's gross.
(scoffing)

So I guess you don't do it
for your kids?

Don't do what, nikhil uncle?

Take notes.

It's a ceremony called
raksha bandhan.

It's for brothers and sisters
to celebrate their special bond,

And, sometimes,
cousins do it too

When they're close like us.

Uh, there are blessings,
sweets, money...

Money?

Why are you holding out
on me, mom?

Well, actually, it's the brother
that gives the sister money.

- Wow!
- And the sister

Gives the brother blessings.

Like, she'd have to be
nice to me?

How come we don't do it?

Well, nikhil's family moved away

And life happened,
so I guess I just forgot.

Right, right.
She'd have to be nice to me.

♪

So, nikhil, how are your folks?

Is your mom still...

..Your mom?

Yeah, she warned me
to stay clear

Of my long-haired bad boy uncle.

(laughing) oorvi's still
stuck on that, huh?

Well, you can let her know
that those days are long over.

I noticed.

I meant the bad boy part.

He said he's kidding.

He said I look like
a handsome movie star.

That's the only phrase you know.
Isn't it?

- Bingo!
- (both laughing)

- Let me have a go.
- All right.

And, finally, a game changer,
I organized my sneakers

Based on year of release,
then, colour.

I should get you
a job at strykr.

You can analyze
everyone's cleats.

(laughing)
I was actually up for a job

In community development, but,

They weren't ready
for this jelly.

Hey, something
will come up soon.

You know, no one
can hold back poppa locka.

Yo!
I forgot about that.

My young bones
were made out of crazy straws.

Yeah, your dancing
was one of the best parts

About your wedding.

Ah, my groomsmen would disagree.

They all hooked up that night.

Some with their wives
and girlfriends, but still.

Well, who didn't?
(laughing)

Troi oi!

We're in
a raptors thread together.

We shouldn't have secrets!

That is the first rule
of the raptors thread.

Who was it?
Was it a bridesmaid?

Nah, most of 'em
were your family.

That's gross. Dish!

Okay, put the spatula down.

And I'm not dishing.
Why do you even need to know?

Okay, challenge accepted.

How are you even
gonna figure it out?

I don't know, but I will.

Good things come to those
who never watch the pot boil.

That's you, son.
You're the pot.

I asked khia how paris was
and she replied "great"

At a very high pitch.

Everything okay there?

Not sure.
I'll have to check.

(sighing deeply)

I'm sensing
some dodgy-ness here.

Is everything okay with you?

Okay, yes, fine.
There's some dodgy-ness.

Talking to nikhil
made me realize something.

And that is?

Well, we basically
stopped seeing his family

After mom died.

And you totally dropped the ball
on all the indian stuff.

I supported and financed
your henna tattoos at the mall.

Dad, I don't have
any indian traditions

To pass on to my kids.

- Is that really all my fault?
- One hundred percent!

Oh, that is rich
coming from the girl

Who had the cast of friends
henna tattooed

On her lower back!

It was a thing at the time!

Ugh! Could you be
any more annoying?!

Hey.

Do you think I'm indian enough?

What?
You're more than enough!

The food, those saris you have.

I don't even have an ao dai,

But that's more of a commentary
on the lack of inclusive sizing

For thick
vietnamese boys like me.

No, I mean, I don't know
many of the customs,

Or the language really,
and I make my mom's recipes,

But, I don't do any
of the traditional things.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Says the guy who does
all the traditional viet things.

Yeah, I do love
that part of my life.

But, honestly, I can't imagine
my mom's wrath if I had stopped.

- Yeah.
- She'd probably beat me

With her shoes and a broom.

See, things would've been
different if my mom was around.

It's like my dad
just doesn't get it.

He is weird about celebrations.

Like how he said
that half-birthdays

Were "just another dirty sham"

In front of a bunch of
five-and-a-half year olds.

Hm.

I should probably go clear
things up with him.

Hm. Quick question.

Do you know who nikhil
slept with at our wedding?

Ew. No.

I'm trying to crack a cold case.

Why?

It's a good activity for hudson
to focus on right now.

- And you?
- Yes, and me.

- I am not well.
- No.

- Dad, can we just--
- yes, okay!

I could have done
a better job for you.

If you remember,
when your mother died,

We were both so sad nothing
ever felt the same again.

I remember.

Your mother was always so much
better, all these ins and outs.

It just sucks to not know things
I feel I should know.

Ramesh: That's fair.

Although, might I remind you
that when you were a teenager

You did say you didn't want
to be indian anymore.

- I don't think that I--
- it's a direct quote.

It was on your christmas list.

Okay, well,
you try being a brown girl

In an all white school!

Oh, yeah,
perhaps that's on me too.

I was trying so hard
to fit in at the faculty

That I thought assimilation
was the best choice.

Tough times.

Pretty sure it's still tough.

I mean, it wasn't all bad.
Remember our diwali tradition?

Ethiopian takeout
and bloodsport.

(laughing)

You know, camille,
the first step

To having a tradition
is starting a tradition.

(door sliding open)

(door sliding closed)

Oh, nikhil!
Uh, when's raksha bandhan?

Today.

That's why I brought it up
in the first place.

Oh, yeah.
I knew that.

We're doing it.
So, get your butt to an atm.

I don't know if I remember
all the little details.

- Oh, uh, we'll improvise.
- Or, I can call my mom?

Ha!
Delightful.

- (laughing)
- can I pee now?

Yeah, downstairs.

Oh, and can you grab
some tea lights?

Tea lights, okay.

Andrew: As they say,

"a picture is worth
two birds in the bush."

We've narrowed it down
to these potentials.

Guys, I really need to pee.

First off--
why's my mom's photo here?

That's your mom?!
(laughing) she does not age.

Okay.

You know this is insane, right?

My friend daya.
Hell of an athlete.

And you're a big fan of sport.

♪

Next up, camille's high school
b-f-f, jennifer s.

(mouthing) jennifer s.

She's kinda mean-sarcastic,

But you might've been
into that.

Hm.

No tells yet.

Oh, looks like we got
a genuine psychopath

On our hands.

(sighing)
okay, are we done?

My bladder's gonna splatter.

(laughing menacingly)
fine.

But I see your game,

And you will trip up,
and when you do...

- Blammo!
- (mouthing) blammo.

Okay.

Oh, uh, and where are
the tea lights?

Oh, I made a basket
that says "tea lights."

I had a bit of time on my hands.

(laughing)
a bit of time?

Get outta here!
(grunting)

Why'd you let him go tinkle?
We had him on the ropes.

We don't got enough evidence.

Well, well, well.
What do we have here?

A movie.

No, it's-- oh.

- It's a...
- It's your wedding video.

It's a wedding video.

♪

So, first I mark your forehead.

That's washable, right?

We'll find out.

And then what do I do
with the rice, oorvi massi?

Oorvi (on web call):
You put it on the forehead,

But, but, it's not going
to stick to the magic marker.

Who told you
to use magic marker?

Mom, we're doing our best here.

Camille, did you get the rakhi?

- Yes.
- Oorvi: Oh my gods!

Is that twine?
Not on the left!

You tie it on the right.

- I knew that.
- Right.

Hello, oorvi.

Is that the bad boy?

Pleasant to see you
after all this time.

Where's your hair?

Where's your manners?
(laughing)

We're having fun.

Okay, uh...

Oorvi: Now, you touch her feet.

Nikhil?

And now, you bless him.

Health and happiness forever,
cuz.

(laughing)

Right.

- Namaste.
- I will stay.

- (laughing)
- both: Namaste.

Oorvi: Okay, bye.

Andrew:
Okay, where is this casanova?

Cam-cam!

Well, well, well, well, well.
Look at him, look at him.

- Andrew: Okay.
- Hudson: There you go.

Andrew, looking forward
to those sick moves.

- Hudson: Oh!
- Andrew: Uh-huh.

Hudson: Oh, look at him dancin'.

- Nikhil: Woo!
- (laughing)

When I see a love like yours...

Hudson: Oh, my lord.

(crying)

Andrew: Oh, my parents!

New daughter,
welcome to the family.

Son, you will be
a great provider.

Andrew's mom: I'm very proud of
you for not staying single

Like your sister.

(andrew laughing)

Andrew's sister: Whatever.
He got her pregnant.

I'm in med school.
What more do you want?

I need another dark and stormy.

Okay.

Cleo: Hi, my name's cleo.
Congratulations.

Yo!

I think that's
my barber's daughter.

I'm so happy for you guys.

Hudson: And there's our boy.

(laughing)
poppa lock is goin' off!

(laughing) oh, shoot.
I am so sorry.

See those vibes?
Off the vibe chart.

- Dawg!
- Dawg!

Both: Dawg!

Before we get into this, here,

I saved you all the orange ones
while you were away.

I prefer frozen espresso.

But you hate coffee.

Not anymore. Can we just get
this over with?

Over with?
No wonder you're home early.

Mannix probably
told you to leave

'cause you're such a snob now.

Ugh!

I did this wrong.
Didn't I?

(sighing)

(sighing)

My little tandoori chicken?

I don't like
orange popsicles, okay?

We're not judging
your taste buds.

It's not just
the jet lag though, is it?

I'm just working
some things out.

Okay.

Well, maybe talk to leo?
Explain it to him?

Puberty is starting
to hit him pretty hard.

All the emotions.

Yeah, and he really missed you.

Why do you think he hung out
in here all the time?

♪

And here comes a dirty look from
cleo's father-slash-my-barber.

Ooh!
What do we have here?

Oh!
And we have contact.

Except that's not her father.

He was her boyfriend,
'cause a second later,

He pulled out clippers and
threatened to shave my head.

- Oh, that checks out.
- Nikhil: Yeah.

- So it's not cleo?
- Uh-uh.

- Damn it.
- (sighing)

What am I even doing?
Where am I going?

- Who am I even?
- Hey, hey.

A beautiful man,
is who you are.

You brought life to this lonely
father for one glorious day.

I just wish I was doing
community work, you know?

Why are you waiting
for permission?

You must have
projects you can do

To help the community now.

You're right.
What have I got to lose?

- I'll go rogue!
- Rogue bro!

- There he is!
- Yeah.

Nikhil:
Ah, yeah, what a great night.

Andrew: Yeah.

Nikhil:
But I had the worst hangover.

Have not been able to drink
a dark and stormy since.

Dark and stormy?

I need another dark and stormy.
(echoing)

Andrew's mother: (echoing)
single like your sister.

Andrew: Most of 'em
were your family.

That's gross. (echoing)

You boinked andrew's sister!

I was just gonna say that!

How is carol these days?

- Dog.
- Dawg!

♪

- Peace offering?
- Thanks.

Sorry I upset you.

You've just been acting so
different.

I'm home 'cause...

..Mannix and I broke up.

And I don't know
how to talk about it.

Oh, I get it now.

Hurt people
hurt people.

I saw that on a meme.

I did miss you.
You know that, right?

I gotta tell you something too.

The reason
I've been using your room is

Because I needed a fart palace.

(laughing)

You're kidding, right?

Let's go do this
brother-sister love thing

Before this escalates.

Oh, leo, you better
tell me you're kidding!

♪

And may all good things
come your way.

That your money from tet?

I'm not dipping into
my drone fund.

Okay, all done.

How come I don't bless khia?

Um...

Ah, yes, um,
I think the idea is that

You're both supposed
to protect each other.

But, how come
I don't say it to her?

I'm gonna guess
'cause of the patriarchy.

You know what?
All traditions change over time.

So, let's make this ours.

Stay blessed,
camille of fortune.

(laughing)

May you always have
a freezer full

Of frozen espresso, even though
it's super gross sounding.

(laughing)

You know what?
Let's split it.

Aw! (crying)

No.

Thank you again for today.

We cool?

Yeah!
We're fine!

We're fine.

What's goin' on between you two?

- Both: Nothing.
- We're fine.

Okay, well,
there's an open invite

To visit anytime, nikhil cage.

- Thanks.
- (laughing)

Camille, what you've started
here today is really beautiful.

I'm sorry I was so hard on you.

At least I kept
my favourite part alive.

Your mom would be so proud.

Say, if you really want to stay
connected to your heritage,

Maybe we should watch
cricket together tonight.

Hm, that sounds nice.

Live from karachi, 1:00 am?

Okay, drive safe, yeah.

(speaking with helium voice)
I think I might revitalize

That abandoned lot a block over.

(speaking with helium voice)
oh, you totally should, yeah.

- Nikhil really inspired me.
- (camille inhaling helium)

- He also slept with carol.
- What?!

(both inhaling helium)

Hey.

So...

Mannix and I broke up.

(both speaking in helium voices)
oh, no!

Are you kidding?
This is serious!

- We know, we know, we know!
- No, no, we know!

(breathing quickly)
(voice returning to normal)

I'm sorry, honey.

(speaking in normal voice) oh,
we're gonna get through this.

(laughing)

(inhaling helium)

(speaking in helium voice)
I'm really sad.

Parents: (speaking in helium
voices) me too.

(laughing)

Okay, nanny cam,
let's see what really went down.

♪

Leo!

♪

♪

♪