All language subtitles for Repligator.1998.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

(ominous music)

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(lively marching band music)

(pleasant music)

- Private Libo, I wanna
commend you on your bravery

for volunteering for this
experiment.

The Sexual Hologram Interface
Terminal

has never been tried on a human
before.

You'll be the first.

Are you ready?

- Yes, sir.

Ma'am.

Sir.

- All right, have a seat and
we'll get you strapped in.

(machinery humming)

All right, here's how the
machine works.

When I turn the power on,

a special transmitter
attached to the headset

will begin to send carefully
calibrated radio waves

directly into your libido.

You will, in turn, begin
to have sexual thoughts,

which will then travel through
the headset

and into the machine where
it's converted to video,

which we can observe on this
monitor.

Any questions?

- Will I get a woody, sir?

Ma'am.

Sir.

- Off we go then.

(electrical fizzling)
(exciting music)

Okay, soldier,

let's see what goes on in
that army brat brain of yours.

(electrical fizzling)
(exciting music)

(static buzzing)

Private Libo, I wanna
commend you on your bravery

for volunteering for this
experiment.

The Sexual Hologram Interface
Terminal

has never been tried on a human
before.

You'll be the first.

Are you ready?
(static buzzing)

(exciting music)

- I didn't program these
thoughts.

You horny little bastard.

(exciting music)

(electricity crackling)

(static fizzling)

- [Libo] Honey, I'm home on
leave.

- Hi, darling.

I'm so glad you're home.

Normally I'd have dinner
and a hot bath for you

but since this is a typical male
fantasy,

let's go right to bed.

(exciting music)

I almost forgot, my best friend
Buffy

wanted to help me walk me home.

I hope you don't.

(exciting beat music)

- God.

Men are such pigs.

(pleasant tempo music)

(electrical fizzling)

(atmosphere whooshing)

(chainsaw rumbling)

(engine rumbling)

(horn honking)

(pleasant tempo music)

(rapid gunfire popping)

(atmosphere whooshing)

(pleasant tempo music)

- I'm here to see Kildare!

- You can't just barge in here
like that.

You don't have an appointment!

- Darling, Dr. Kildare
may be accused of treason

if he can't explain this and
now!

(pleasant tempo music)

(liquid bubbling)

- Treason, Colonel?

I give you a device that
may change modern warfare

and alter the future of man's
struggle

to coexist in a world torn

by religious, economic
and territorial turmoil,

and you call me a traitor?

Blow me.

- How did my secret weapons
project

turn into be front page news!

Did you leak this?

Are you insane?

I could be court-martialed!

I could lose my free Jell-o
shots at the Officer's Club!

- The Replicator project never
was your weapon, Colonel.

Nor mine.

We lost control of it when we
let that idiot, Dr. Oliver,

create the prototype unit.

- Low bid is low bid, Kildare.

It was your job to oversee
Oliver and keep things on track.

What the hell's going on here?

And what about this news story?

- Okay, okay, chill out,
Sanders.

Don't burst the blood vessel
and bleed over my Petri dishes.

By the way, have I shown
you my latest project?

(playful music)

(gentle music)

Go ahead.

Put them on.

I got the idea for these
from an ad in a comic book.

Miss Crocker, could you
come in here for a moment?

- I'll be right there.

(liquid bubbling)

Yes, Dr. Kildare?

(ominous music)

- [Kildare] Colonel
Sanders is here to discuss

the Replicator project.

(Sanders gasping)

Would you pull that file for us,
please?

(playful music)

- I'll be right back.

- X-ray specs.

I've been trying to perfect him
for years.

So, what do you think?

- Sweet mother of God, I can't
believe it!

I mean...

(Sanders clearing throat)

Good work, Doctor.

Of course, there will be some

military application to this,
won't there?

- Absolutely.

I mean...

Well, I mean, they're
funded by taxpayers' dollars

for crying out loud.

I'm sure we'll think of
something.

- Well, you know, a device
like this could be dangerous

if it fell into the wrong hands.

I'll put this in a secure place.

Now what about the replicator,
Doctor?

For God's sakes, what's going
on?

- Didn't your cohort, Colonel
Sergeant, update you, Sanders?

He's been sticking his
big nose in this project

from the beginning, him and
that moron, General Mills.

- Sergeant and Mills?

They've been AWOL for a week.

What have they got to do with
this?

- They made a surprise
inspection

of the replicator, Sanders.

Didn't you know?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, give me
those!

- Here's the file on
the replicator, Doctor.

You need anything else?

- No, no, that'll be all.

- Hey, hey, hey!

- There, Sanders, the Replicator
Project.

Those are the latest reports
I got from Dr. Oliver

concerning his prototype.

Something went wrong.

- Wrong?

Like what?

- Are you sure you want to know?

- That's why I'm here,
Kildare, now out with it!

- This report begins

with the arrival of
your other project head,

Colonel Sergeant and General
Mills.

(military drumming music)

- General Mills!

General Mills, what a pleasant
surprise.

- Dr. Fields.
- No one said

you were coming today.

- There's a reason for that.

- We're here to look at
Dr. Oliver's project.

He's ready to test a human, are
you?

- Well, no, I'm not ready.

I need more time.

I, well, Oliver's not ready
either.

- How can you say that?

You don't even know what he's
working on.

- Well, I would say this,

my experiments in brainwashing
are every bit as important

as, say, the Replicator Project.

- We'll talk later.

- Wait, wait, wait.

Let me watch his experiments.

- What do you think?

- Couldn't hurt.

- Strictly as an observer?

- I won't open my mouth.

- Okay, come on.

(military drumming music)

- Of course, General, this
will be the first time

that such tests have been
conducted on human beings.

- The majority of our tests
have been run on lab rats.

- With success, I might add.

- Dr. Oliver, I've been
hearing good things

about this operation
from Colonel Sergeant.

- Hope I'm not too late
for the show, Dr. Oliver.

- Who invited you, Fields?

- I did, Doctor.

- Stan, I won't get in the way
at all.

I'll just be a fly on the wall

watching as your experiment
falls fiat on its face.

- I protest this, strongly.

- Fields, you said you'd be
quiet.

- You have my word.

- For what that's worth.

- Oh, Stan.

Let's be friends.

I've heard great things about
your replicator project.

- A joint effort with Dr. Hardy,
here.

- Dr. Har...

Hardy.

Yes,

I've read your essay on
anti-matter conversion

and dino-nuclear diffusion.

- Well, thank you, Dr. Fields.

I've read your essay on a
neo-micro synapse distortion

in frog brains.

- Yes.

Difficult working with frogs'
brains.

- I can imagine.

- Hairy little, slippery little
devils.

- Really?

- The frogs, the frogs, I mean.

- Oh, of course.

- Now that we all know
each other, Dr. Fields,

you can leave.

- I'm an invited guest.

- Gentlemen, please.

The Pentagon is spending
a fortune on this project

and I want to see what
we're spending it on.

Dr. Oliver,

proceed.

- Thank you, sir.

Keep your hands in your pockets,
Fields.

- Yeah, you break it, you buy
it.

- So this is the famed
replicator.

How does it work, Doctor?

- That's what we've come to find
out.

- Just asking, Colonel.

- An organic digital
replication double helix

genetic coding scrambler
on a 1680 wave length

with a maximum thrust
at about 40 gigacycles.

The average convergence of
the main power transformers

creates a unique just
position of the jirped mill,

aggravating the sliding
wolfomega,

and bringing the cyclonic
convergence together.

This releases a carbon mono
syllable imaging powder

to encode the fluctuating
double stranded DNA.

It is at this point that the
other half of the equation

translate to a homoduplex of
events,

reassembles the broken strands
with interferon stabilizer

into the optical hybrid.

And that, as they say, is that.

- Couldn't have said it better
myself.

- If you had said it yourself,
how would you have said it?

- Well, just for you,

do you ever watch Star Trek?

- Yeah.

- Transporter.

- Gotcha.

- [Sergeant] Can we get the
show on the road, please?

- Watson, Ripley, go get the
test subject.

Excuse me.

General, if you don't mind,
we'll fire up the replicator.

Dr. Hardy.

(ominous piano music)

It is here, General Mills,

that I'll be able to totally
control

the forces of the replicator.

- Don't you mean "transporter?"

- Whatever.

- This is private Bruno Wearing

of the 105th Artillery
Command out of Fort Sill.

- Yes, sir!

- Good, good to meet you,
soldier.

- Yes, sir!

- Do you realize this is a
highly secret military
experiment

you're about to undertake?

- Yes, sir!

- Do you realize that your
country is calling upon you

in its hour of need?

- Yes, sir!

- Do you realize it may
involve dangers and pitfalls

that may place you at mortal
risk?

- Really?

- Good man.

Good man.
- Excuse me.

- From this moment forward, you
are to follow the directions

of this civilian scientist, is
that clear?

- Yes, sir, right up to the
part about mortal risks, sir.

- He's all yours, Dr. Oliver.

- Private Wearing, step over
here.

(lively piano music)

- These are the stainless
steel anti-matter converters.

It's here that you'll be fluxed.

- Does this have anything to
do with the mortal risk thing?

- Absolutely not.

The mortal risk thing comes
when we attempt to reassemble

your atomic sub-structure
in a molecular level

somewhere on the other
side of these walls.

- Don't worry about it, soldier.

- What's happening?

In a moment, General,

the machines will be at
maximum power levels.

- What exactly does that mean,
sir?

- We're at peak load, Dr.
Oliver.

- Flux him, Dr. Hardy.

(computer chiming)

(lively tempo music)

- I gotta feeling I'm about to
see

what this mortal risk shit's all
about!

(electrical fizzling)

(atmosphere whooshing)

- Holy shit.

- It worked.

It worked!

(lively piano music)

- Prepare for phase two
of the operation, Doctor.

(computer beeping)

- If I hadn't seen it with my
own eyes,

you'd have had to order me to
believe it.

- Astounding, Dr. Oliver!

- My God, Stan, what have you
done?

Where's Private Wearing?

- He's inside that mainframe.

(suspenseful music)

Here, I can hold him in active
memory

for as long as power is
maintained.

Once secondary power has been
achieved,

I can retransmit him through
this wall

to the other side of those
doors.

- You can do this?

- Well, it's really quite
simple.

The answer's provided in
about three basic algorithms.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, right,
right, right.

- Reaching secondary peak, Dr.
Hardy.

- Peak power has been achieved,
Doctor.

- Time to replicate, Dr. Hardy.

Retransmit the stretch DNA code
now.

- Replication complete, Doctor.

- Turn off the equipment, Dr.
Hardy.

(suspenseful music)

- The replicator's been shut
down, Doctor.

- Watson, Ripley get over here.

(doors hissing)

- Private Wearing, is that you?

(atmosphere humming)

Private Wearing, this is General
Mills,

I order you to step forward at
once!

(sensual music)

- Yes, sir.

- Well, well, well, Dr. Oliver,

what can I say?

It seems you've got a little
problem.

- What the hell do you
mean, you don't know?

- I don't know.

I don't know any other way to
say this.

It's not like I know a
foreign language or anything.

I don't know.

- They go in men and they come
out women.

Are you trying to tell me you
never bothered to check that?

- We experimented on lab rats.

You want me to get you a lab
rat?

Watson, get me a lab rat!

You tell me if it's a boy or
girl.

- Do you realize that
the Pentagon has spent

over $300 million on this
project?

- They got what they paid for.

I can do what I set out to do.

I can replicate an entire
platoon of ass-kicking,

gung-ho Marines through a cement
wall

into the center of enemy
headquarters.

- Except once they get
there, they turn into bimbos!

(lively piano music)

Colonel!

We're leaving.

- Wait, General Mills!

- Not now, Fields.

- I think we need to talk.

- General Mills,

I think you should stop in

and take a look at my
experiments!

General!

General?

General!

(lively piano music)

- Well, was he mad?

- I just turned a fully
trained Special Forces Commando

into a beach bunny.

- Well drinking that won't help.

- Can't hurt.

Ugh!

Then again...

Oh!

- Dr. Fields just left with the
general,

bending his ear all the way.

- Why not?

He's got a shot at the
money we just threw away.

That's it.

During the coding process,

we stretched out the male
elements,

leaving just the female genetic
elements.

- So when he came back
together...

- He was a she.

How is Private Wearing, by the
way?

- Something ain't right here.

- I want to understand
what happened here today!

- Yes, sir.

- I'm holding you personally
responsible for this mess,

Colonel!

- Sir?

- You heard me, shit rolls
downhill

and you don't have a
pair of boots tall enough

to remain in the clear.

- Sir, you authorized all the
funding.

- A fact that will be totally
irrelevant

at your court-martial, Colonel,

unless you figure out a way
to close this place down

and be done with it!

(pleasant music)

- My dear, about ready to begin.

Are you ready?

- It's your nickel.

- Place this on your head.

Don't be alarmed.
- What the hell is this?

- Just relax.

Nothing to worry about.

(computer beeping)

Ah, it's starting.

In just a moment, she'll no
longer be a woman of the night.

She'll be the girl next door.

She will be the virgin
of the eternal spring

who has loved me all of her
life.

- Are are you sure this
is the right thing to do?

- Oh, West, you are such a pain.

The Pentagon may be paying
for these experiments,

but I'm the one that
has to make them work.

(computers beeping)

(electrical fizzling)

(somber saxophone music)

- Darling?

(pleasant music)

Darling.

- Oh my God.

It works.

- Where's my 50 bucks?

- But you've loved me all your
life.

- Yeah, yeah, whatever, mister.

But first, 50 bucks!

- Dr. Oliver.

- Yes.

- Private Wearings in the
conference room.

He, she wants to talk to you.

- I wonder why.

Find Watson, set up the medical
lab.

We're gonna have to
run a battery of tests.

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, Ripley.
- Sir?

- You test the batteries.

Private Wearing.

- Doc, I've got a serious
problem here.

- I understand, I understand.

Please, have a chair.

Go ahead, sit down.

- It's hard to explain.

- Do the best you can.

- I feel as though something has
changed.

I can't put my finger on what.

- Well how do you feel?

- I mean, I'm not one of those
guys

who likes to take warm showers
with other guys, you know,

but what I'm trying to say is
that...

- Yes?

- I find you very attractive,
for a man, I mean.

- Private Wearing, let
me ask you a question.

- Anything, Doc.

- Have you noticed any
particular changes in...

your body language?

- Such as?

- Oh,

certain formations that
may or may not have been

present prior to the
moment of replication.

- You mean the mortal risk
thing.

- Well, I think we can forget
about the mortal risk thing.

I'm thinking more in terms
of, say, a sexual thing.

- Not at all, Doc,

I'm still the same horny rascal
I was

before I joined the army.

- No, you're not.

- Dr. Oliver!

- Dr. Hardy,

I'm glad you're here.

We need to run the blood
tests, it's very important.

Blood tests on the Private
Wearing, here,

and work with her on the
mechanics
of making a urine sample.

I don't think she fully grasps
it.

I'll leave it in your capable
hands, I've got things to do.

- You have a problem, Colonel.

- More thank you know, Dr.
Fields.

- Take a look at my project.

The psychotronic input

of brainwaves into a target
subject

resulting in the total
subjugation of the...

- Not you too.

- Brainwashing, Colonel.

Brainwashing.

Something as simple as this,

from you into a target subject.

Think of it.

Input these instructions
directly into their brains,

they become your slave.

They, you can make them into a
spy,

or an assassin,

or perhaps even a dutiful wife.

- Your experiments haven't
exactly been

bringing the house down, Dr.
Fields.

- Well, that will change...

with your help.

As the general said, you've got
a problem,

I'm your solution.

- How so?

- Give me control of the
replicator.

- Are you mad?

- Dr. Oliver has found a way
to break down the human body

and digitize it into
its binary equivalence

and store them in active memory.

- But they turn into
women when they come back.

I don't know about you but
I'd call that a minor flaw.

- Well, that can be fixed.

In the meantime, why not create
an army of killer females

all ready to do your bidding?

- You're crazy.

- You were there, you saw Oliver
do it.

He replicated a human being,
and my research proves

that I can electronically
brainwash a human.

All I lack is the delivery
system.

- You think the replicator is
it.

- Of course, Dr. Oliver mixes
a person into a genetic soup.

All I have to do is to mix
in my own secret sauce.

- It might work.

What do you need?

Complete control over
the Replicator Project.

- Dr. Oliver won't like that.

I don't think...
- Well, just let him testify

at your court-martial, then.

Look, we already have the test
subject.

Private Wearing, that
poor woman, man, whatever.

Who's to say if we put her
back in the replicator,

she won't come out the other
side a man?

- I hadn't thought of that.

Okay, how soon can you be ready?

- Well, how soon can you tell
Oliver I need his machine?

- How does 10 minutes sound?

- Sounds good to me.

- Mind control?

Oh, for God's sakes,
the FBI, CIA and Amway

have been trying that for years.

It's never worked.

What are you trying to
accomplish, Doctor?

- Fields' project is only one of
many

experimental mind control
projects, Colonel.

A few years ago,

we targeted a group of
low intelligence Americans

with an early mind
control radio frequency.

The result,

"the Macarena."

So you see, it can be effective.

- We have limited budget
for these kind of projects!

Were there any other secret
activities

going on at Oliver's facility?

- Well.

- In addition to the replicator

and Fields' mind control
experiment?

- Well.

- Have you never heard of the
word budget?

- Okay.

Okay.

Dr. Goodbody did have a
project in development,

but it was top, top secret.

Even Oliver and Fields weren't
in on it.

- [Sanders] What was it?

- It was called...

the Sexual Hologram Interface
Terminal.

- [Sanders] You mean?

- This project was secret.

(pleasant tempo music)

- Private Libo, I wanna
commend you on your bravery

for volunteering for this
experiment.

The Sexual Hologram Interface
Terminal

has never been tried on a human
before.

You'll be the first.

Are you ready?

- Yes, sir.

Ma'am.

Sir.

- All right, have a seat and
we'll get you strapped in.

All right, here's how the
machine works.

When I turn the power on,

a special transmitter
attached to the headset

will begin to send carefully
calibrated radio waves

directly into your libido.

You will, in turn, begin
to have sexual thoughts,

which will then travel through
the headset

and into the machine where
it's converted to video,

which we can observe on this
monitor.

Any questions?

- Will I get a woody, sir?

Ma'am.

Sir.

- Off we go then.

(electrical fizzling)

(exciting music)

Okay, soldier, let's see what
goes on

in that army brat brain of
yours.

(exciting music)

(static fizzling)

- Private Libo, I wanna
commend you on your bravery

for volunteering in this
experiment.

The Sexual Hologram Interface
Terminal

has never been tried on a human
before.

You'll be the first.

Are you ready?

(exciting music)

- I didn't program these
thoughts.

You horny little bastard.

(exciting music)

(electricity crackling)

(static fizzling)

- [Libo] Honey, I'm home on
leave.

- Hi, darling.

I'm so glad you're home.

Normally I'd have dinner
and a hot bath for you

but since this is a typical male
fantasy,

let's go right to bed.

(exciting music)

I almost forgot, my best friend
Buffy

wanted to help me walk me home.

I hope you don't.

(exciting beat music)

- God.

Men are such pigs.

- How does this tie into
the replicator, Kildare?

- I'm just trying to
fill in the big picture.

It may help you to understand
how

the Replicator Project
ended up the way it did.

We had a lot of irons in the
fire.

- West!

- Yes, sir?

- Clear these machines, man.

I've got to run a new program.

- Well, but, but sir,

these machines are running the
entire...

- Did I ask you for excuses?

Did I ask you for complaints,
man?

Did I?

God, you were such a small
thinker.

For months I have been
looking for the perfect system

to input my brainwashing
experiments,

and not 100 yards from here,

that idiot, Stanley Oliver,
has stumbled onto it.

But not for long.

I have got the tools,
I've got the test subject

and I've got the system,

and when I have that replicator
project under my control,

nothing will stop me, do you
understand?

- Well, yes sir,

I do.
- Then get to work!

- Yes, sir.

(Fields laughing)

- Are you kidding, that idiot?

- Your replicator is
a failure, Dr. Oliver.

Maybe parts of it work but
I need a whole solution.

- But Dr. Fields and his
stupid brainwashing idea?

Don't be a fool, Colonel.

- Doc,

I hate to break the news to you,

but the military establishment
doesn't really have

a practical use for an
assault force made up

of genetically altered
women with large breasts.

- Are you kidding?

The invasion of Normandy
would've been a snap.

50,000 blondes charging the
beach in bikinis with beer.

We could have shortened
that war by two years.

We're onto something here,
Colonel.

- Private Wearing will be
run back through the machine

with Dr. Fields in
charge of the operation.

Maybe we'll get lucky and
she'll come back a man.

- That's not gonna happen.

Dr. Hardy and I have
figured out what went wrong

and we can fix it.

- I haven't got time to fix it.

My ass is on the line here.

Dr. Fields is in charge!

- So, how long have you known
Dr. Oliver?

- Why do you ask?

- Is he married?

- No, he's not.

- Do you think he'd like
a roll in the hay with me?

- Private Warren,

we are scientists here.

We do not engage in
such primitive behavior.

- Doc, you need to back
away from those test tubes

for a couple of months.

- Do you realize what has
happened to you here today?

- Sure, Doc, I was thinking
what stud I was last night,

except now I've got these and
I'm feeling

all kind of warm and
fuzzy over Dr. Oliver.

What's his first name anyway?

- Three hours ago, you were a
man.

We ran you through the
replicator
and now you're a woman.

What do you see?

- Are you kidding?

I could really use some color,

especially around these cheeks.

You could use some yourself,
huh, Doc?

- I beg your pardon.

- And that wood tick on your
face.

- That is a beauty mark.

- Not on you.

Look Doc, if it's so important,

why not run me through the
machine, turn me back into a
man?

- The replicator only
produces female results.

- Oh yeah?

When I was a man, what'd I look
like?

- Well, you were large and
mean-looking.

- Did you ever wonder what I'd
look like

without my clothes on?

- No, it never crossed my mind.

- What about now?

- It still hasn't crossed my
mind.

- So I went in looking like
Bigfoot,

came out looking like Barbie.

Maybe you should take a
trip to the machine yourself

huh, Doc?

(atmosphere humming)

- Dr. Oliver.

Here to assist, I see.

- I'm against this, Fields.

You have no idea what you're
doing.

- And you do.

- What is this, what's he doing?

- It's very simple, Doctor.

Making a simple addition to your
system.

- Your brainwashing experiments.

- Very observant.

Colonel, where's our test
subject?

- Go get Private Wearing.

- Go ahead.

- Well, I suppose I should
ask you how all this works.

- It's got problems, Doctor,
and if you had any ethics,

you'd let me fix it before you
started.

- Ethics.

Ethics may play to the rubs in
Peoria,

but you and I, where
professionals,

we both know the value of an
experiment,

especially one that's gonna
pay off in the billions.

- Dr. Oliver, give him
the basic run through.

- Okay.

Excuse me.

Essentially, what we got here
is...

(somber music)

- Colonel Sergeant wants
Private Wearing, Doctor.

- I'll get her, go back to the
office

and tell then we're coming.

- You know, Dr. Fields
has taken over, don't you?

- I guessed as much.

Private Wearing, sir.

- Hiay, Doc.

- Where does she go?

- Dr. Hardy, take her out,

put him where she, he belongs.

- What you doing, Doc?

- We're gonna run you
through a second time,

Private Wearing.

- I can only get better.

- That you will, my dear.

All right, Dr. Oliver.

If you'll be so kind,

fire this up.

- Excuse me.

(ominous piano music)

- We're at peak level, Dr.
Oliver.

- Flux her, Dr. Hardy.

(electronic fizzling)

(thunder rumbling)

- Dr. Fields,

I'm amazed!

- Oh, shut up, you worm, you'll
be next.

- Oh, you can't talk to me that
way.

- What do you mean, I
can't talk to you that way?

Who the hell do you think you
are anyway?

- Dr. Fields, I was just joking!

- Yeah, come on!

- Stop!

Don't go over there!

- No, no!
- Oh yeah!

Oh, it's time to get in touch
with your feminine side.

- No, no!

Billy!

(thunder rumbling)

- Stanley!

(thunder rumbling)

(computer beeping)
(suspenseful piano music)

- My God!

What have you done?

- The same thing you
were doing an hour ago,

testing my ideas on a human
being!

- Don't be an idiot!
(Fields laughing)

- Fool!

Don't you realize what's going
on here?

(electrical fizzling)

Overload!

Watson, come here, I need you!

(suspenseful piano music)

Okay, retransmit on my signal!

Five, four, three, we're losing
them!

Two,

one!

Retransmit now!

(electrical fizzling)

- We've burned it out!

- Jesus Christ.

- We've crashed the whole
system.

- The power's out.

- What the hell's happening?

- This lousy machine has
shut down the whole building.

- We were doing just
fine until you got here.

Yeah?

- [West] Billy, Billy!

Billy!

Billy, Billy!

(machinery humming)

- Did you get them out
before the power went down?

- I don't know.

Three subjects is an awful
lot for this machine to hold.

- Well, I would like to
take this opportunity

to apologize for any
actions that I may have had

that may have caused...

- Don't you shut up?

- Why don't you make me, you fat
pig, huh?

- Yeah, well, I'll rip your
heart out!

- [Hardy] Stanley!

(machinery humming)

- Watson!

Use the manual override
to open those doors.

- I can't, sir.

- Why not?

It's on the other side of the
door.

- Oh.

- The power!

- It's coming back on.

- It's field batteries,
they'll run for three hours.

Just enough to run essentials.

- What does that mean?

- That means until the
main power comes on,

we're stuck in here.

- Oh, he's right.

He's right, it's a security
precaution.

It's gonna red light back at the
Pentagon

as an experiment gone wrong.

They'll have a commando
team here within the hour.

- Oh, that'll look good on my
record.

I'll be shoveling moose
shit in Montana after this.

- [Stanley] Dr. Hardy?

- Stanley?

(sensual music)

Stanley.

- Holy shit.

My God.

- Stanley,

what happened?

- You went, you went
through the replicator.

My God, Laurel, you're
beautiful.

(Stanley grunting)

Dr. Hardy, what are you doing?

- I...

I...

Oh.

I...

(Laurel moaning)

Stanley, make love to me!

- What have you done, Fields?

- Go, go, go, big fella.

You see, it's the brainwashing,
Colonel.

Just as I promised.

- It works.

What did you do?

- Well, I programmed the
replicator with a little extra

rampant nymphomania.

(sensual saxophone music)

- I do like a man in uniform.

- Private Wearing,

get a hold of yourself.

- As you were, solider, I'd
rather get a hold of you.

- See, it works!

(sensual saxophone music)

Dr. West?

- I've loved you for so long,
Billy.

- You're kidding.

- Good idea, Dr. Fields.

Now, what do you suggest we do?

- All experiments need a little
work.

- I love you, Billy.

- Stan, you think you might want
to trade?

- I know right where we can go.

- I'm sure you do.

- Colonel, don't be a fool.

We have no idea what the side
effects are.

- [Colonel] I'll work on that
for you

and get back to you.

- Let's go with them.

We can have a party.

- Dr. West, just control
yourself.

- After all these months
of wanting you, Bill,

I don't think I can control
anything now.

- Freeze!

- Stan, listen,

it's the brainwashing, they're
our slaves.

- I thought you said it
was rampant nymphomania.

- No, no, no, what's, just
use your head here, okay?

What good is nymphomania

if they're willing to
ramp it with just anybody?

- You stay here until I get
back.

- You can't get out of the
building

until the power gets turned back
on.

- Oh, Stanley, stop teasing
me and make love to me.

- Dr. Hardy.

- Oh, yes, Stanley?

- You are my slave.

- Yes, Stanley.

- You will do as I say.

- Oh, you name it, you got it.

As much as you can handle.

- [Stanley] Fix it!

- [Hardy] Okay.

- Dr. Hardy?

Use tools.

- Okay.

- Dr. West?

Yo, babe?

- You talking to me?

- No, just take care of the
tools.

- Okay.

- Watson,

you guys need to go make sure

the main power gets turned back
on.

- Darn, what's happening here?

- I don't know, just get
the power turned back on.

- We really shouldn't be doing
this.

- Oh yes we should.

- Oh man.

- Not anymore.

I'm a fighting soldier who
just happens to be a woman.

You're not gonna hold
that against me, are you?

- Hold what against you?

- What you got?

- Dr. Fields.

Dr. Fields.

- When's the regular
power gonna be back on?

- What was in your brainwashing
program?

- I've already told you, you
moron, rampant nymphomania.

- Combined with?

- Oh, Stan, do I have to get up
my crayons

and scrawl you a picture?

When the power comes back on,

I'll be able to install my new
program.

- What was in the old one?

- I've already told you!

- Tell me again!

- All right, all right,

total subjugation to
the dominant male with

rampant nymphomania thrown in
just to keep it interesting.

- Not the dominant male,
but the one she loves.

In this case, Dr. West loves
you.

- Ugh.

Please, don't remind me.

- Private Wearing's been
through the machine twice.

Combine your stupid brainwashing
program with my replicator,

we may be creating a genetic
time bomb.

- Oh, you are such an idiot,
Stan.

You never did see the big
picture.

Why do you think we do this?

Huh, what, what?

To help mankind?

No, we do this to make money.

You built a replicator as
part of a military project

to send combat troops from here
to there,

and what'd you end up with?

An electronic beauty shop,
the ultimate makeover.

Take an ugly woman, put her in
one end,

and she comes out beautiful
on the other side.

But here's the best part,

with my programming in place,

you can take that beautiful
woman

and make her bend to
your every beckon call,

your every whim-
- Oh have her assassinate

a president?

Or trigger an accident
at a nuclear power plant?

- Ooh, Stan, you have an evil
mind.

- Bill, so help me.

- Hey, hey, hey, look.

It's not too late.

I can cut you in.

I don't think you see the
beauty of what you've got here.

(upbeat music)

- [Stanley] Dr. Hardy?

- My God, Stan, you got
her fixing the machine.

She's actually fixing the
machine.

- Yeah.

Now you get Dr. West to helper.

- Good idea.

Wish I'd thought of it myself.

West, wake up.

I want you to fix that...

- Oh, Billy, I love.
- Yeah, yeah.

Okay.
- I love you.

I love you, I love you.
- Right, right.

Yeah.

Help Dr. Hardy fix the machine,
would you?

- Kiss me first.

- Do I have to?

Mmmm.

Okay, okay, now fix the machine.

(Colonel screaming)

- That was Colonel Sergeant!

- All right, listen,

when you get it up and running,

install this new program, all
right?

- Okay, darling.

- And don't call me darling.

- Okay, honey.

- Okay.

(ominous music)

(Colonel gagging)

(creature growling)

What the hell is that?

- That's Private Wearing

and she just killed Colonel
Sergeant.

- Now she wants us.

(men yelping)

(suspenseful music)

(creature growling)

That wasn't Private Wearing,
that was a walking alligator.

- She's been through the machine
twice.

She went in a man, she came out
a woman.

- No, no, no, no.

The second time she came out a
woman,

and a very sexy one, I might
add.

- That's it.

The replicator stretched her DNA
again,

this time stretching
out more genetic code.

She went all the way back
to pre-human influences.

- Wait a minute,

I thought we descended
from apes or something.

- Yeah, but we started by
crawling out of the ocean.

(creature growling)

(Stanley yelping)

(suspenseful music)

- Where were we?

- Crawling out of the ocean.

- Oh yeah, okay, if that's the
case,

explain why she's a walking
alligator right now.

- I blame you for that.

- Me?

- Yeah, when you programmed
her with rampant nymphomania,

you created a sex-charged
object of desire.

She experienced a prehistoric
orgasm,

which stretched her genetic
code,

creating the creature we
now have to deal with.

Gator Babe.

- Gator Babe?

- It could happen.

(men screaming)
(creature growling)

(suspenseful music)

That should hold her.

- We gotta figure a
way to get out of here.

- When the power went down,

a security red situation was
reported to the Pentagon.

They may just flip a switch
and nuke the whole place.

- They wouldn't do that, would
they?

- We're playing God, here.

We're toying with things
best left to the Almighty.

- They wouldn't do that, would
they?

- Nah.

- Okay. We're stuck in here
until the power comes back on.

In the meantime, what do
we do about Gator Babe?

- I think we need to run her
through

the replicator a third time.

But I'm worried about side
effects.

- Side effects?

It's not exactly a skin rash
she's got there, you know?

- [Stanley] Hey, we're
pushing her to her limits.

We're stretching her color
back to the dawn of time.

- [Fields] Yeah, I'll
turn her into an amoeba

and I'll step on her.

- Here we are.

- Do you know what you're doing?

- Yeah, sure, the main
box is right in here.

Come on, follow me.

- Dr. Hardy?

Dr. Hardy,

what are you doing?

- I'm preparing the
system for further use.

- But we have no power.

- I rewired the system to run
off

the rechargeable field
batteries.

Unless, of course, the
power gets turned back on.

In which case, we'll tap into
that.

- You can do that?

- This is incredible.

- Wait a minute, the replicator
combined with my program

has increased their brain's
tenfold.

- Oh.

- Are you happy with me,
sweetie?

- Yes, it's fine, and
don't call me sweetie.

- Okay, doll face.

(creature roaring)

- That was trouble and
it's coming this way.

I need this machine running
right now.

- There it is.

- It's about time.

- You got the key?

- Uh, what key?

- The key to open up this thing.

- I didn't bring a key, I
didn't know it needed a key.

- Okay, then back out.

- I can't back out.

- Okay, so turn around and crawl
out then.

- I can't turn around.

- So why did I bring you with me
anyway?

- You were gonna show me the
box.

- So there it is.

Now, do you have a key to it?

- What key?

- Okay, do you have a
screwdriver?

- Yeah, sure, I got a
screwdriver.

- Great, let me have it.

- Well, not with me,
it's back in my toolbox.

- So how am I supposed to open
this thing

and get the power back on?

- Be my guest.

- Power's back on.

- Yes.

Here comes Gator Babe.

(Gator Babe roaring)

(suspenseful music)

- Secure this building!

I'll get to the bottom
of this soon enough.

(Gator Babe growling)
- [Fields] What do we do?

- [Stanley] Run her
through the machine again!

Here!

See if you can tricker
up between those cones.

- Wait a minute, why
do I have to trick her?

Why don't you trick her?

This was all your idea!

(Gator Babe growling)
(suspenseful music)

- Billy!

- Here, try this.

- Thanks.

- What the hell is that?

- It's a little something we
came up with

while you guys were gone.

- Hey, ugly.

(Gator Babe growling)

Say good night.

(laser fizzling)

- My God, what happened?

- It's in the replicator,
what was that thing?

- It's Private Wearing after
sex.

- Everybody stop!

Drop your weapons!

I'm here to get abreast of this
situation.

- Have two, general.

- Count four, and have a thumb
left over.

- No, wait, no!

(lasers whooshing)

- Ralph!

- Don't Ralph me.

You weasel, you never loved me.

- I know how she feels, Stanley.

- Oh, Dr. Hardy things have
changed.

- Especially since you're
looking down the barrel

of a portable replicator gun,
huh?

- I do love you, Laurel.

- Yeah, me too, I love you,
Ralph,

Dr. West.

- Your brainwashing has worn
off, Billy.

I'm not your sex slave anymore.

- What's happening?

- Give me that.
(creature growling)

- What's going on now?

(creature growling)

- Random transmission of target
subjects.

Apparently we wired something
backwards.

- Yes.

And they're having spontaneous
orgasms.

- Yeah, like I give a shit.

So the brainwashing's worn
off, right, Ralphy, babe?

- No, Billy, I love you.

- Yeah right.

(laser fizzling)

Now it's your turn, Stan.

- This is all a mistake.

You still don't get it, do you?

I'm about to create an
army of female killers,

all who will do my bidding.

- You reprogrammed the
brainwashing.

- You catch on fast for a loser.

See you in five, Dr. Oliver.
(laser fizzling)

Ah, shit.

- Well?

- I am not going back in there.

- I'll do it.

You just stay here in
case anything happens.

- Whoa.

What do I do if anything
happens?

- I'm speaking rhetorically,
Ripley.

- Rhetorically.

- Shit.

Dead!

- Oh, Stanley.

- Oh, we do not have
time for this right now.

- Stanley, oh, I just, I...

- What?

What?

- I feel all warm inside.

- You can't.

- Oh, I just feel all tingly.

- No, no you cannot do this.

- Oh, Stanley.
- If you have

a sexual experience, you will
turn into a walking alligator.

- Oh, Stanley.

Oh, Stanley.

- I command you, you will, you
will stop.

You will stop, you are my slave!

- Oh, I love it when you're
strong.

- You will obey my every
command.

- Yes, Stanley.
- You do not love me!

- I love you, Stanley.
- You do not love me!

You hate me.

(Stanley groaning)

(punch thudding)

(Stanley yelping)

Stop!

We've been married 25 years.

- What are you doing on the
floor?

Don't turn your back on me
when I'm talking to you.

You know, I should have
listened to my mother.

She always said you were a bum.

- Yes, dear.

- Don't turn your back on
me when I am talking to you.

You know, that is the one
thing that pisses me off

about you the most is you
always turn your back on me

when I am talking to you.

- Dr. Fields left his
brainwashing
program on this machine.

- Don't turn your back on
me when I am talking to you!

Do you understand that?

- Shut up and leave me alone!

- Don't you talk to me like
that!

I do not have to take this!

You always are talking to me...

- Shut up and leave me alone!

(metal thudding)

Dr. Hardy!

Are you okay?

Dr. Hardy.

Come on.

- Oh.

- Get up.

(somber music)

- I...

- Are you okay?

- I hit my head.

Where?

(Laurel gasping)

What's going on?

- Laurel.

- You haven't called me that
in a long time, Stanley.

- Do you know what has happened
here?

- Went through the replicator.

I went in and...

We have problems, don't we?

- Very much.

(ominous music)

- What is this?

- Dr. Fields has wired
up a brainwashing device

to the replicator.

You were under my control right
up

to the moment you bumped your
head.

But I think you may have
accidentally given us an answer

to the problem with the
replicator.

- How do you mean?

- Genetic memory.

Not just the DNA, but
the actual brain itself,

stores everything it never
remembered.

Using this program,

I think I can reinstall
the original genetic codes

back into the target subjects.

- Of course.

The core memory.

The entire original genetic
code would still be there.

Not as DNA but as...

- But as memory.

We've got to reinstall
this into the replicator.

We have to run everybody back
through.

- Including me?

- Laurel, I...

- Stanley,

I don't ever wanna be
that person I was before.

- Okay, no problem.

Come on, let's go.

God, what else could go wrong?

(Laurel gasping)

(silly music)

(machinery humming)

(atmosphere whooshing)

- Hey, where'd you come from?

(creature growling)

Holy!

- Stupid thing.

(Bruno moaning)

- Oh my God.

- Private Bruno!

Get on your feet, soldier!

- I can't.

I feel all special inside.

- Oh.

No, this is not good.

(creature growling)

(suspenseful music)

This isn't good.

(creatures roaring)

Stay back!

I command you!

It worked.

By God, it worked.

Back off.

As soon as the power comes back
on,

I'll be able to take over this
facility.

Then I'll call for some more
men and I'll replicate them

using my brainwashing program.

I'll be able to take over the
world!

- He's dead.

- He was dead.

Apparently the bite from a Gator
Babe

produces a zombie-like trance.

- What does he want?

- Stanley.

- He's trying to communicate.

Colonel Sergeant, what do you
want?

(silly music)

Well, maybe you should ask him.

- Ask him what?

- Stanley.

(Stanley yelping)

Come on! (Laurel yelping)

- Well, what are we supposed to
do now?

- I can install this into the
replicator.

With this, we can set
everything back to normal.

- Oh Stanley, I'm so scared.

- Don't be scared.

(Laurel gasping)

Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

(suspenseful music)

(Laurel moaning)

(Gator Babe roaring)

Oh no!

- Stanley.

- Great.

(machinery humming)

- Dr. Oliver, I presume.

- Fields, you're an idiot.

- Moi?

I'm not the one about to be
eaten alive.

All right, gator babes.

Eat him.

(gator babes growling)

There he goes, over there!

Get him!

(electricity fizzling)

What?

- I'm really getting tired of
this.

(suspenseful piano music)

- Dr. Fields, we have to
set everything straight.

- With your replicator
and my brainwashing,

I'm going to take over the
world.

Nothing can stop me!

(Fields laughing)

- Don't count on it.

Your brainwashing is only as
good

as the brains that hold it.

(suspenseful music)

(gator babe squealing)

(suspenseful piano music)

(gator babes growling)

(gator babes growling)

(electrical fizzling)

- I wish you'd get this place
rewired or something, Stan.

(suspenseful music)
(gator babes growling)

Stay back.

Stay back, I command you.

Oh, the hell with it.

(electrical fizzling)

This is really starting to piss
me off!

(gator babes growling)

- I can't do this.

- Dr. West, Dr. West,
get a hold of yourself.

- Did you put your tongue in my
mouth?

I mean, how awful.

- Dr. West, are you okay?

- Compared to what?

- Can you load this new
software into the replicator?

- I'm not putting anymore
brainwashing stuff

anywhere in any machine for
anybody.

- I think I've discovered the
process

whereby I can turn you back into
a man.

- I don't wanna be a man.

I've been a woman trapped in
a man's body for a long time.

I'm free now.

- Help me set everything
straight.

And when it's over,

I'll turn you back into a woman.

- Promise to do anything, right,
Doc?

- If you don't do this,
the next time you have sex,

you'll turn into an alligator.

- I'm gonna trust you, Doc.

- Did you and Dr. Hardy really
build this thing that fast?

- Dr. Hardy did.

She's a wiz at mechanical
things.

Me, I'm all thumbs.

- All thumbs, huh?

(gator babe growling)

Shit.

(laser fizzling)

(lively piano music)

- Five minutes.

(laser fizzling)

- Well, Stan,

looks like it's just you and me.

(Fields laughing)

Oh, shit.

- Gotcha now, you piece of shit.

(electrical fizzling)

(gator babe squealing)

- The replicator is kicking them
back

as fast as we send them in.

(suspenseful music)

We're on overload.

(lasers fizzling)

(suspenseful music)

Dr. Fields!

(silly music)

- I thought you were dead.

(silly music)

- Dr. Fields?

No, no, no, you stay back.

Stay away from me.

- Shoot him!

(Fields laughing)

Get over here, you idiot.

- I'm going to take over the
world!

(laser fizzling)

- You talk too much.

- The new software has been
installed!

- Right!

Well, if everything
works according to plan,

then Dr. Field's original
brainwashing program

will reach down into the
brain's own memory banks

and reinstall the unaltered
genetic code

into each and every one of these
people.

- Do you think it'll work?

- It has to work.

(lively piano music)

(lasers whooshing)

Install the new software!

(electricity crackling)

(suspenseful music)

It's working!

It's working!

(lasers whooshing)

Dr. West!

Dr. West.

You did it.

- Dr. Oliver, do you promise
to turn me into a woman

once I become a man again?

- Of course I do, you have my
word.

- Okay, do it.

(West screaming)

(suspenseful music)

(lasers whooshing)

(silly music)

(laser fizzling)

(suspenseful music)

- Holy shit!

(lasers whooshing)

- What the hell happened?

- Out!

Everyone out!

- What the hell?

(building rumbling)

- General, get your men out of
here!

(suspenseful music)

- Stanley!

- Laurel.

(lasers fizzling)

- What's going on here?

(building rumbling)

- Stanley!

- I'm a little busy right
now, get out of here!

(suspenseful music)

Look.

- Oh my God, Stan, what have you
done?

- Serves you right, you dog.

(suspenseful music)

(lasers whooshing)

(replicator electricity
fizzling)

(explosion rumbling)

(birds chirping)

(insects buzzing)

- Morning, General.

- Is that supposed to be
some kind of disguise?

- Are you're kidding?

You ought to see my underwear.

- I'd rather see the
contents of that briefcase.

- You and me, both.

This isn't gonna blow
up in my face, is it?

- Don't flatter yourself,
Doctor.

You're not worth killing.

Hell, even if you write a book

and go on the talk show
circuit, it helps us.

It just helps us look smarter.

Oh, by the way,

did you ever find Dr. Laurel
Hardy?

It's been over three
and a half months now.

- No.

(somber music)

(doorbell chiming)

(door creaking)

- Dr. Oliver.

- You still up for this?

- Are you serious?

- Strip.

- What are the side effects?

- Haven't tested it yet.

- Do you mean...

I'm the first?

- Are you sure this is what you
want?

- Dr. Oliver,

have you ever been a woman?

- Can't say as I have.

- It's the most wonderful
feeling in the world.

It's like being home.

Does that make sense?

- You talk too much.

(laser fizzling)

- Oh, sure, you made him a
promise

and me you turned into a woman.

- Your brainwashing machine.

You had a hidden file in it,
didn't you?

- What do you mean?

- A file to protect yourself.

When I reprogrammed
everything back to normal,

I used your brainwashing
machine.

It didn't work on you,
you came out a woman.

- You never know when the enemy

will use your own weapon against
you.

It was merely a safeguard.

You found it?

- It's gone.

- I'd like to take this
opportunity

to thank you for saving my life.

I can assure you that...

- Oh, shut up.

(laser fizzling)

(pleasant music)

Dr. Fields, he's in here.

You still want him?

- I love him.

- That answers that question.

(laser fizzling)

- For any pain and suffering

that I may have caused at
this...

This is great!

This is, this is great.

(West giggling)

- There's something very
weird about those two.

(crickets chirping)

Hi honey, I'm home.

(pleasant music)

- My God, who's there?

(somber music)

Stanley.

- Do you think I wouldn't find
you?

- Oh, please.

(laser whooshing)

(somber music)

(laser fizzling)

(laser fizzling)

(sensual music)

Stanley?

Thank you.

(Stanley groaning)

This is on inside out.

- Yeah, well,

still needs a little work.

- I'm not gonna turn
into an alligator, am I?

- Oh, I don't think
so, I fixed everything.

Listen, I've got this idea.

- Uh-huh?

- It's for a beauty shop.

The ultimate beauty shop.

- Uh-huh.

- We bring in the ugly babes,

poof, turn them into beautiful
babes.

What do you think?

- Shut up.

(sensual music)

(somber music)

- So, that's where the
report ends, Colonel Sanders.

I'm afraid Oliver's got
the money and the device.

But he seems to have
disappeared.

- Not so fast, Kildare.

Aren't you leaving something
out?

- What do you mean?

- I mean, someone else is
using the replicator doctor.

Oliver didn't do all this.

Someone close to the project.

Someone who knows how
to build a second unit.

Oliver's prototype was based
on your research, Dr. Kildare,

and now you have his files.

- A second unit?

You mean,

like this?

Guards, get in here.

I'm afraid they work for me now,
Colonel.

- So it was you.

You've sold out your country,
Kildare.

- On the contrary, I'm saving
the world.

Think about it.

Imagine you're an Iranian ground
soldier

dug into a desert foxhole,

waiting for the onrush of the
American GIs

and looking forward to meeting
Allah.

Suddenly, you see the
enemy moving towards you,

but instead of a stinking,
sweaty grunt with an M-16,

you see before you...

(electrical fizzling)

(pleasant music)

Kind of puts a little twist on
it, eh?

I don't know about you

but I think I'd surrender
immediately.

- But why change men into women?

There are already women
in the armed forces.

- Like this?

Ha.

Besides, replicator women are
different.

They retain their male
aggression.

They were just issued new
equipment to work with.

- But the replicator doesn't
work.

What about the gator babes?

She'll start to change at any
moment.

- I fixed that.

I simply changed the program

so the primordial brainstem is
bypassed

and the libido is targeted
instead.

- And the newspaper article?

- I guess they got it from my
website.

I thought I was uploading my
formula

for artificially triggered
multiple male orgasms.

Go figure.

- I can't let you get away with
this.

(suspenseful music)

(electrical fizzling)

(women groaning)

- Oh, crap!

Now look at us.

(silly music)

Oh.

Wow.

Now I can do this whenever I
want.

Hold it, what am I doing?

Kildare, you turned me back
right now!

- I never counted on this.

There's no reversal procedure
on the modified replicator.

- What?

What?

- I had planned on changing
everybody else, you jerk!

Not me.

What do I need a reversal
procedure for?

Shit.

- Well, Doctor, you're kind of
cute there.

Not that I'm gay or anything.

- Yeah.

I know what you mean.

You know, we're not in a hurry

to discover a reversal
procedure.

And since we're both
pretty incognito right now,

what do you say we go
shopping, get a pedicure

and go party tonight?

- What about this?

- What about it?

Come on.

- Let's go.

(pleasant music)

(lively tempo music)

(suspenseful music)

(pleasant carousel music)