All language subtitles for The Split S02E03 Episode 3 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-TEPES_track3_[eng]

[music playing]

[sighs]

[Nina]
Hannah, are you awake?
I've made toast.

[birds chirping]

[cell phone buzzes]

Oh, God.

[instrumental playing]

[projector whirring]

[clicking]

How many weeks
pregnant are you?

[sighs] You know
maths was never
my strong point.

Eight, nine.

Though there was
this very sloppy
drinks thingie

which culminated
in a night with Andy
sometime past that.

Andy? What, depressed Andy?

-Yoga Andy.
-Hmm.

Before Mark.
After Rex.

Wow.

And this is what I missed.

-That doesn't mean--
-No.

-Nina.
-I'd be a crap mum.

I don't even
like kids much.

You're a 35-year-old lawyer.

Maybe this is the right time.

No. I've got
an appointment

for an abortion
this afternoon.

-Does Rose--
-No, I can't.

[sighs] It's hard
keeping a secret like that.

I-I'm not saying
you have to,

but it will weigh on you.

Not yet.

Get showered.

Nathan's coming in
for the Hansen case.

You got a...
shirt I can borrow?

Blue one, rail.

This isn't even your size.

-It's just stuff.
-Stuff?

You were arrested
last night!

Do you know
what moves I had to throw

to get you off
without even a caution,

-the lies I had to tell?
-I did thank you.

This isn't
a packet of refreshers
on the way to school.

This-- This is pathological.

You'd be struck off
for this.

My God, calm down.

This place is a tip, Nina.
You're right.

You can't
look after yourself.

We all have shit, Nina.

We all have shit.

-Please, can we stop?
-Aren't you--

[both laugh]

Aren't you close?

This is the fifth time
in 12 hours. I've nothing left,

and the doctor said
we needed to wait.

But you had
your porn face on.

I've got a porn face?
I've not got a porn face.

According to the app,

we could be ovulating
at this very second.

...a very nice Polish man--

-[Rose] No, no, no!
-Ohh!

-Get out!
-I'll tell him

you're getting dressed...

-Get out!
-or cleaning your teeth.

Please-- [winces]

Rich, Fi,
any comment on Carrie?!

You on the sofa,
mate?

Careful, yeah?

You keep looking
at that sidebar of shame,

it'll rot your brain, mate.

[car engine starts]

[cameras whirring]

Hey, you blur
my kids' faces out,

or my lawyers'll
rip you apart.

[tires squeal]

Put it away.
Screen-free zone.

I want you
in a hotel tonight.

[laughs]

Not happening.

Smile, babe.

United front.

[sighs]

[woman] Okay, first up,
live radio,

then we'll ask about Carrie,
which will kill it with love.

Good news for you
you've got Gerry,
she's geared up alongside,

We're gonna drown it out
with loads of positive coverage.

You know,
haters gonna hate.

We're just gonna keep
showing them the love.

Ali, we need
to raise the game here.

I know. I'm on it.
So you got

back-to-back calls, right,
couple of internationals,

all very, very smart,
very pro the show.

-You're a star.
-Yeah.

Uh, bit of heat
from the network.

I've reassured.
They're absolutely fine.

We just gotta hold
the party line on--

Yeah, I'll put in a call.

Fire back
with the obvious stuff.

You know,
its permanency, commitment.

It's a quality brand.

You know, show them
you can roll with the punches.

It's just gonna
fade itself out,

as long as there's
nothing more to stoke it.

Nah. We're golden.

I can't do this.

Fi, they win if you
let this crap spook you.

Richie, you're not
listening to me.

-Babe.
-Babe...

I've engaged
a solicitor.

[laughs]

You've engaged
a solicitor?

-Yes.
-No, no, no.

You've had
a couple of drinks

with a yummy mummy,
and she's got in your ear.

Yeah? So why
don't you get some air,

take one of your
rescue remedies?

Your next interview's
in 20 minutes.

-Oh.
-I'll do this week,

I'll do this show,
but then we're done.

Okay.

I'll say
when we're done.

-So should I flag down--
-No, no one.

No, no.
We're all good.

Listen, um...

find out everything
you can about, uh,
Hannah Stern,

family lawyer, NHD.

Yeah.

[drummer drumming]

[door thumps]

Morning.

Keen?

Ah. I come
bearing gifts.

Double-shot latte
and an almond croissant.

Thanks. Let him carry
his own bundles.

It's fine.

Is Nina okay?

[Hannah]
Ask me another.

Parents evening tonight.

Vinnie's got the fear.

-You forgot.
-No, I did not forget.

You forgot.

Also restaurant
booked for tomorrow.

Anniversary.
Yes. Thank you.

This is a good feeling.

Relationship goals.

Lauren used to say
I've forgotten
every year.

Not forgotten this year.
"Thank you, Nathan."

-Thank you, Nathan.
-Yeah, real smile,

-not fake smile.
-Why don't we just
do a take-away?

-It's 20 years.
-Wow.

Richie Hansen will have got
my letter this morning.

Petition will follow,
but we're on.

And, given
this morning's press,

it won't be difficult
to make a case for divorce

on the basis of his
unreasonable behavior,

including his
inappropriate relationship
with another woman.

But obviously
they're feeling the heat.

They're high profile.
It's volatile.

And all the signs are
he won't take this well.

She's keeping a record
of his coercive and
controlling behavior?

We're naturally
concerned for
her well-being.

-Naturally.
-She's obviously susceptible.

They've been together
a long time.

Our client believes,
uh, Mr. Hansen

will refuse to move
out of the family home.

He's yet
to issue a statement
denying the affair.

Well, they'll want
to preserve their brand,
reassure the network.

Talking to our media team,
this is a story that's
only gonna spiral.

There's been rumors
about them, uh, for a while.

Ah, the rumors.

Such a cliché,
women trapped
in marriages

that they don't
believe they're worthy
of getting out of,

happy to compromise on
whatever crap behavior

their spouse
throws at them.

[Nathan] Welcome
to family law.

Not just family law.
People put up with

no end of shit
in every walk of life.

If Mr. Hansen's, uh,
refusing to move out...

Well, we can make
an application for
a non-molestation order

if you're worried
about her safety.

Certainly,
if she's frightened--

We can apply
without notice.

Well,
let's have it ready,

and I can discuss it
with my client.

Do we know yet who he'll
get to represent him?

It'll be one
of the big five.

Yeah. I'd pop
for Melanie Aickman.

Ah, Melanie.

[laughs] Dear Melanie.

This is why you
brought me in so quickly.

Well, she poaches you
every time.

Sorry. I've got
another meeting.

Okay. We can have
the application ready

and in the district
judge's list
by tomorrow.

Nathan.
I thought you were here.

I hear you're
getting married.

Terrible idea.

[Zander]
And that's from a pro!

Two weeks.
I expect you there.

Invite accepted.

[Hannah sighs]

Oh, um, bottom site.

Uh, languages and science
are both in the main hall,

and, if I have
to tell you again,

we don't touch the wine.

Parents evening.

Well,
dodged that ball.

You, uh, didn't reply
to my e-mail.

Tomorrow.

There's a choice
between a party
and paintballing.

I decided she'd, uh,
hate a party more,

so-- [laughs]

Attendance is mandatory.

I mean,
I don't give a shit,

but Hannah would kill me
if you weren't there.

20 years.
China. It's china,

not as in the country,
as in the cup.

The kids
have taken control.

I'm trying not to look,

but I've
a nasty suspicion
something's gone wrong.

Last night, there was
a lot of fists punching

and gold cats delivered
by Amazon, so...

-So the country, then.
-Yeah.

Opportunities
for racial stereotyping
everywhere.

Eh, don't tell Hannah.

Hopeless
at keeping a secret.

No poker face.

Um, I'm collecting for
Hannah's anniversary present.

Ah. Uh, yeah.

[fire alarm ringing]

Oh, seriously?

What-- Every week?!

[alarm continues ringing]

Okay, everyone,
let's do this
with a smile.

[Maggie]
Everybody downstairs.

Don't use the lifts.

Assembly point is
directly opposite.

Ah, a vaper.

Yeah, well,
the hard stuff
gets you arrested.

Chill, sister.

Someone taking
an early lunch?

Could one man
get more irritating?

[alarm continues ringing]

We should be
at the assembly point.

Christie.

-What?
-[alarm stops]

[scoffs]

[sighs]

That's it?

No. No, shouldn't we
at least talk?

Oh, you want
to talk now?

Because you
seemed pretty clear
last night.

Don't be like that.
We have to work together.

W-We have to find a way
to push this on.

We have to do meetings
and interact,

and, if you behave
the way you're behaving--

-Behaving?
-You're angry, and I get that,

but-- but this is
our place of work.

Oh, my God. Did
the last three months
just not happen?

No, it happened.
I'm not denying it happened,

but it's 20 years.

It's 20 years I've been
with Nathan tomorrow.

Yeah. Add another five,
and it's 25 since
we first met.

-You wanna celebrate that?
-[sputters]

I'm-- I'm sorry.

I-I don't know
what I've been doing.

-[laughs]
-Christie.

I think you know
exactly what you've
been doing.

I think
you always do.

I think-- I think
you're ambitious.

I think you see
something you want,

and you go for it,
Hannah.

I think you saw me,

and you saw
unfinished business.

Wow.

Is that the way
you wanna do this?

Well, is that what
you're gonna hurl now?

Wh-Why is it when a man
calls a woman ambitious,

it's-- it's delivered
with this negative--

-God.
-Yeah, I'm ambitious,

uh, for my work,
for the--

for the clients
that I serve, but...

this, th-this,
you think this was
about ambition?

Do you know
how hard this is?

You ever loved two people?

No, I-I mean really,
like, gut-wrenchingly
loved two people?

Two people so it aches
when you don't see them?

Aches when you think of them
with anyone else?

I love you.

I love you, Christie.

But Nathan won.
Nathan wins.

My life wins,
and I-I'm sorry.

Yeah.

["Your Name"playing]

♪ Whatever you gave up on

♪ I say it's different now

♪ A reason to reappear

♪ I thought you might

♪ You left some things

♪ So I wonder
if you want them back ♪

♪ Though I'm still dreaming

♪ You come to unpack

[sniffles]

♪ I try to hang on
but I'm losing ground ♪

♪ Tricks are old
and it's a tougher crowd ♪

[sobs]

[footsteps]

Moving day.

Yeah,
I'll get him.

-Oh, God.
-What? What?

This bed is
a health hazard.

The dump
won't even take it.

I think Nina was
conceived on this.

Ah, too much
information.

Makes good babies.

[chuckles]

Sorry.
Clumsy, clumsy.

They say you're born
with 2 million eggs,

at least.
One of them's bound to--

Hatch. Hmm.

We're good.
We're fine.

And I'm late
for Prof Ronnie.

You still have
a crush on him.

Purely professional.

And, for your information,

last time I saw him,

no Speedos,
fully dressed.

Aw, mother,
but what lies beneath?

Is that funny?
Is she being funny?

I never get
this girl's jokes.

Last of our post.

Anything interesting?

Bills.

Ah.

[taps cup]

Will Parker...

and his new husband.

Since when?

Since yesterday.

I thought he was
still in rehab.

He was, is.

That's where they met.
They're giddy.

Ah. That's love for you.

I'm fully on the side
of delusional.

[laughs] And I'm
guessing his mother--

Wants an annulment
and taking no prisoners.

Would you like
to burst their bubble,
or shall I?

[sighs]

[Helen]
The rules of rehab
are perfectly clear.

You've known
each other a week.

-Three months.
-They absconded.

They literally
climbed over the wall.

It's rehab,
not Strangeways, mother.

Will you
talk to him,
Hannah, please?

-We love each other.
-[Hannah] Okay.

Can we calm, please?

You are sectioned
under the Mental Health Act,
for crying out loud.

That's grounds for annulment
right there.

Actually, the section
expired two weeks
before the wedding.

[Hannah] And it
wouldn't necessarily make
the marriage voidable.

The law doesn't
prevent someone
from marrying

just because
they're sectioned.

I have a letter
from Will's psychiatrist

affirming that he
lacked the capacity
to enter into the contract,

making his marriage
null and void.

This letter
has been generated
retrospectively.

It is inadmissible,

quite possibly
criminal.

Are there no lengths
you won't go to?

Helen, you can't
just erase their
relationship.

You're angry right now.
Let's try to find
a way forward.

Well, then,
you tell his grandfather

that his only grandson
and heir

is at risk of sharing with
an intravenous drug user

he's known
precisely 12 weeks

a 7% stake in a business

with an annual turnover
of $2 billion.

Can I have a gingernut?

[snickers]

If the papers
get hold of this--

Yeah,
which they won't,

because he owns
every sleazy tabloid

that would even be
remotely interested.

-[Helen] Will--
-Haven't you ever been in love?

[sighs]

The simplest way to
protect Will's fortune
would be a postnup.

Which has
all the legal integrity
of an Amazon wish list.

-Actually, no.
-Screw you, Mother.

-Really?
-[Jordan] Stop.

Please, stop.

I'll sign it.

I-I'll sign
a postnup.

We'd advise you to get
your own representation
before you do that.

Trust me, Helen.
It really is
the best option

for everyone.
We'll draw it up,

and we'll start
with that.

[sighs]

Rose moved out today,

and I seem to be left
with a lot of dust and
a few lumpy mattresses.

And before you say,
"Downsize," don't.

Who wants to downsize?

I want bigger,
bolder, more.

I want more.

And that was always
your fault-line, Ruth.

Nothing was ever enough.

Rose was asking
about you.

Ah. [chuckles]

Does she still have
eyes like a Moomin?

Perhaps we should
give them something
to really talk about.

Are you flirting
with me, Prof Ronnie?

Always.

-Hi.
-Just one moment.

What? Is this
gonna take long?

I've been waiting
for half an hour.
Some of us have to work.

[mouthing words]

[sighs]

You know, you shouldn't
keep people waiting.

It's enough that people
have come here,

and then you
keep us waiting.

I'm sure I'm
not the only one.

Great.

Great.

[shudders]

No, I can't.

Ohh. Fuck you.

No, I'm--

Do you want
a tray for that?

Uh, yeah.

Thanks.

You feeding an army?

Yeah, something like that.

[Nathan] Your mother's
gonna meet us there,

so five-minute warning!

Coming.

You look nice.

-Richie.
-I'm not angry.

It's all calm.

We're just
going to our son's
parents' evening,

and, this morning,
I received a letter

informing me
that my wife intends
to divorce me.

Look...

I don't want
anything from you.

Please, make it easy,
for the kids.

Book into a hotel.
Stay wherever you want.

I found you.

I found you.

I gave you a sound,
and you were still crap.

[scoffs] We're toxic.

Living with you is toxic.

I like that.

I like it when
you're more forceful.

Why aren't you like that
more often, Fi? Hmm?

It's a turn-on.

You know,
you're turning me on.

We're not divorced yet.

[Liv] Me costaran
los tiempos verbales

más de lo que deberían.

Me cuestan
los tiempos.

-[laughs]
-[Hannah] Sorry.

Tranquila.
No nos conocemos aún.
Soy Mateo Lopez.

Oh, sorry, no.
Useless with
languages.

Eh, por otro lado,

uh, soy los cojones del perro en español.

My husband
deludes himself

that he
can speak Spanish.

Oh, I was just saying
Liv's great,

like really great.

Because I know you
found things a little
tough earlier this year,

a difficult time.

Yeah. Uh,
things weren't great.

Predicted grades.
I think we'd love to know
Liv's predicted grades.

Yeah.

El capo
was annoying.

-He was just--
-Being annoying.

Did you know
her grades
were slipping?

Not in Spanish.

Yeah, well, having
a doe-eyed Latino

who looks 12
might have something
to do with it.

If it's improving
her languages, who cares?

Could one of my children
please just become
a neurosurgeon?

Is that too much to ask?

Um, I'm going to try
and catch Fi Hansen.

Shit.
Don't leave me alone.

It's awkward enough.

[Nathan] Fine.
I'm starving.

Do they never
have proper food
at these things?

You see any pretzels,
do your bit.

I been trying to
call you this afternoon.

I wasn't sure if you'd
be here. You okay?

I'm scared.

We've prepared
a non-molestation order.

That's just
a precaution,

but, on your word,
we present it
to the court

and turn around
in less than
24 hours.

And, if you're
really scared,

then you have
my number on speed-dial,

and I suggest you
also call the police.

He won't move out.
I've tried.

The network
are getting edgy.

Everyone's
running around,

trying to dampen down
the Carrie stuff.

That bloody show
goes out again
in less than a week.

You know,
there are penalties

for bringing them
into disrepute?

There's a whole list
of recommendations,
apparently.

Like what?

Well, as ambassadors
of the network,

it's our job
to promote the values
of the company.

No one
can hold you to account

for wanting
a divorce, Fi.

Kids have
read everything.

You can do this.

You can do this.

[toilet flushes]

-Hey.
-Oh.

Did Hannah tell you
I got those tickets?

Next Saturday,
you, me, the boys.

Yeah, it's a great offer,
but sadly I'm gonna
have to decline.

You know, I always hoped
you weren't a prick.

Uh, English literature
is queuing round the block,

so Vinnie and Tilly
have moved on to German.

Ah, good move.
Callum, why don't you,
uh, go wait with Vinnie.

-Hey, uh...
-What do you--

thanks for
your letter.

Nothing like
the personal touch.

This is not the place.

This is
exactly the place.

We're both parents.

Both do anything
for our kids.

I don't know what voodoo
you do around my wife,

but it's gonna take
a lot more than a sheet

of headed notepaper
to intimidate--

Intimidate? Oh, really?

Look, this is finished.

Only just begun.

Hannah, uh,
Vinnie's waiting.

Don't ever
touch my wife again,

or I will do more than
drag you through court.

[scoffs]

[vacuum whirring]

[raps on door]

I thought Tyler and I
were the only ones still here.

-[chuckles] Well...
-Drink?

Sure.

So is Tyler gonna go
through my e-mails, too?

Only the work ones.

[pours drink]

If you've
nothing to hide,

you've nothing to fear.

Well, perhaps you
should go through his.

Isn't that
what you and Ruth
are doing for me?

[chuckles]
All I'm saying is how well

can you get to know anyone
in three months?

Well, enough to know you
want to spend the rest
of your life with them.

To be honest,
I knew that the first
night I met him.

This is all
due diligence.

[sighs]

I should thank you.

If I hadn't been forced
to go to Chicago...

[chuckles]

Glad it worked out
for one of us.

So it was
an affair of the heart.

Of the heart.

Oh, yeah.

I may even have lost
my head there for a while.

We're all
guilty of that.

Yeah.

[pats desk]
Night, Zander.

[knock on door]

Hey.

What?

He seemed nice...

Señor Lopez.

You're so lame.

He's, like, 30.
That's gross.

Mm-hmm. It's ancient.

You should sleep.

I know you smoked it,

the zoot.

And I'm meant
to be the child.

It was funny.

It's funny.

Not funny?

It's bad.
It's very--

It's very, very bad.

I heard you and Dad,

giggling with him.

I'm sorry.

How can you forgive him?

How can you sit there
in the garden and do that,

just pretend what he did
doesn't matter?

[stammers] It matters.

I-It just matters
less than it did.

I-I don't know how,
but somehow it...

hurts less.

Give him a break,
Liv, hey?

It's...

Thank you...

for not being an arse.

That man is an arse.

Not a great benchmark,
but I'll take it.

Your feet
are freezing.

New moves.

I'll have
to watch that.

[birds chirping]

[Nathan]
Breakfast!

Be right down!

Proper coffee.

[gasps]
Pain au chocolat?

Found them
in the freezer.

Oh, yes.
Best before March, 2018.

Jurassic.

They improve with age.

Happy anniversary,
Mr. Stern.

Mrs. Stern.

What does it say?

Private things.

Let me see.

It's private.

It'll be
disgusting.

That's mine.

-I wasn't finished!
-Hey, get off!

[cell phone buzzes]

[Tilly] Give it to me.

It's Nina.

Where's the tool kit?

We have a tool kit?

Yeah. Well,
that's with everything.

Meet here for 8:00,
and then we'll walk round.

-Uh-huh.
-I mean it. 8:00.

8:00!

I thought
the party was tonight.

A subtle misdirection.

Hmm.

[clattering]

Why is there
living room stuff

in the boxes
marked "kitchen"?

Can't you find
something better to do?

He's lost
his Winterfell castle.

Oh.

[James] Don't come
at me for sex.

I want a night off.

I'm serious.

It's taking all
the fun out of it.

It was the most fun thing
we did together.

Oh, come on.

Why have you
got a box full
of DNA testing kits?

Say hello to Hannah.

Hello, Hannah.

-Because.
-She's very evasive.

Really? I have
precisely one hour

and then
the morning
from hell.

Ooh, James, do you
have any pliers?

Ah, at last,

someone appreciates
what I can do.

The gift
that keeps on giving.

-Nice wallpaper.
-Yeah, I thought so.

We're keeping it.
Tresretro.

So weird theory.
And stick with me
on this one.

I think
Prof Ronnie's my dad.

I only came for pliers.

So I thought
we'd just do a DNA test

-and sort this--
-Delusion.

Your word.
Or perfectly sane response out.

Uh...

Did you know...

Dad divorced Mum
on the basis of adultery?

No, still bonkers.

Prof Ronnie, Mum,
it's just weird.

Or the reason
why they split up.

Dad left Mum 14 months
after I was born because...

Their love child,
obviously.

Your wife is bonkers.

Finally.

Thank you. Okay.

Let's do this.

[knock on door]

Oh, God.

Get dressed.

Wowzer.

Good shit.

You are going to remove

all of the tags
from these clothes.

-[sighs]
-And then

you are going
to take them all to charity.

Really?
All of them?

-Yes.
-Why?

[mutters]

Baby stuff.

Um, why would you...

Why would you
take these?

Shit.

You're pregnant.

Bitch.

Wha...

[whispers]
Why am I always
the last to know?

Can I, um, look after it
while you're in prison?

[chuckles]

Bring it in
on visiting days?

-Rose.
-Yeah, I'm keeping it.

Of course
you're keeping it.

Idiot. Ah, shit.

Plaster?

Uh, bathroom.

Next to tampons.

I couldn't
go through with it.

I was a year
out of law school

and £5,000 in debt.

Nathan and I just
moved into that, uh,

attic flat, Clapton.

I was never gonna get
a buggy up those stairs.

Afterwards, we went for,
uh, curry in Brick Lane.

We've never been back there.

Why have we never
been back there?

Hannah.

Nathan couldn't
stop crying.

Said it was
the vindaloo.

Oh, my God.

It was a choice, Nina.

Do you think I'm making
the right choice?

[chuckles]

Right choice.

Tyler has debts,

sizable debts.

I know a business
failed. How much?

Well, Christie and I

are still trying to get
an exact figure,

but there will be
a substantial number
of zeroes.

Ruth.

Zander, you're
an attractive proposition
to any man,

but, to someone
in Tyler's situation,

you're a very attractive
proposition.

What are you saying?

This may not be the time
to race into a marriage.

I'll be 44 next year.

For the larger part
of the last 43,

I've been on my own.

I'm tired
of being on my own.

So a few zeroes.

I can live
with a few zeroes.

-Zander--
-Just get it sorted.

So this is
the draft paperwork.

Jordan gives up
any claim on your fortune

and that of your family
and you to his.

In the event
of a failure
of the marriage,

you'll both leave with
only what you brought
into the partnership.

Helen.
Uh, we were just--

Could I speak to my son
for a moment, please?

-Uh, yes.
-I've got nothing to say to you

-that they can't hear.
-We can just step outside.

So we were just
going over the draft
paperwork. Um...

obviously we
still need to get
a copy to Jordan.

Jordan won't
be signing his.

I informed your grandfather
of your marriage last night,

and Jordan's just accepted
a very large payment
from the family trust.

In return,
he's agreed to admit

that he was clearly
under the influence
of narcotics

during your wedding--
grounds for annulment.

You didn't.

Sweetheart--

Jordan,
can you call me,
please?

He won't be returning
your calls.

How much?

I'm sorry.

How much?

[chuckles] Wow.

That's a lot to give
a former drug addict.

It's not like
it was gonna last.

The whole thing
was pure fantasy.

Will, are you in there?

I know what
you want to do.

[stifled sob]

I know you
want to go out
and get blasted.

But, um, tomorrow,
I promise you,
you'll wake up,

and the self-hatred
will be worse.

However bad
it feels now...

I promise you
I've been there.

And none of it
makes it better.

None of it
stops the shit.

Only you can do that.

[lock slides]

[crying]

[toilet flushing]

[Nathan] This is
a terrible idea.

[laughs]
What is that thing?

This is
what state-of-the-art
looked like in 2009.

I wrote your mother
a speech

for our 10-year
anniversary party,

and I know it's
on here somewhere.

You don't think Mum
will notice if you
give the same speech?

-Ah.
-Ah, yeah.

See, this is why
we gave birth to you.

Technically Mum did.

Inter-railing,
Glastonbury,
South America.

It doesn't get tired.

You went to Glastonbury?

Before you monstrous
children came along

and ruined everything,
your mother and I

had this thing
called a life.

We went outdoors
in the evening.

On occasion,
we had actual fun.

Print. Yes.

Thank you.
Thank you.

[chuckles]
You need a shower.

[both laughing]

Don't. Don't.

-Man smell. Man smell.
-No, get off!

-Get off!
-Smell my man smell.

Smell it. Smell it!

[secretary]
Hi, can I help you?

Melanie Aickman
for Hannah Stern.

You have to see
the coat she is wearing.

It is unbelievable.

Melanie.

-Melanie Aickman.
-Mm.

She gives good coat.

I saw her talk once.

She is
truly inspirational.

Huh.

Did you speak
to Zander?

Not yet. I-I will.

Right now,
it's heads down.

Tyler's prowling
the corridors,
looking for prey.

Okay.

But I will keep doing
what I can, Maggie.

[Hannah] So obviously, uh,
we want to keep this

as straightforward
as possible, but--

We're increasingly
concerned

that Mr. Hansen's
not accepting

his wife's desire
to divorce.

Let me stop you
right there.

My client is more
than willing to cooperate.

He sees that his marriage
has reached an impasse

and that its continuation
is untenable.

So looking at the,
um, press statement--

We've made some adjustments.
Thank you.

Sadness? "With hearts
full of sadness"?

Yeah, your version
read, um, a little cold.

"It's with hearts
full of sadness

we have taken
the decision

to reflect
on our marriage."

"Reflect,"
that's too soft.

"We have
taken the decision
to end our marriage."

-Ow. [chuckles]
-There's no movement on that.

All right.

"Though it is a very
difficult decision,

we are committed
to working towards an--"

Amicable separation.

"And would appreciate,
at this painful time,

that the press
respect our privacy

as we take time to...

heal."

Nice touch.

"We want
to reassure our fans

that though,
for now--"

Cut "for now."

"...we are going solo,

we'll always be
with the band."

-That's so cheesy.
-Agreed.

Killjoy.

[sighs] Fine.

I appreciate
that the last few days

have been
particularly difficult

for both
Mr. and Mrs. Hansen,

but you should be aware
that my client

is, uh, concerned
about her safety.

-[scoffs]
-So we have prepared

an application for
a non-molestation order,

and we'll attend court
with it tomorrow
if needed.

For that reason,
my client is willing
to relocate to a hotel.

Primarily he is focused
on the welfare

and happiness
of his children

and keeping all this
as civilized as possible.

I'm sure Mrs. Hansen
and my client

don't want any further
details of their marriage
out on public display...

details that
could potentially

be embarrassing
for both parties.

What details?

We both know
that every marriage

has corners that would
rather not be exposed
to public glare.

I'm sure Mrs. Hansen knows
what I'm talking about.

-You okay?
-Yeah.

Just know his tactics.

And we know his lawyers.

It's very typical
of Melanie.

And they're just
yanking your chain.

Promise he won't
take the kids.

He can't do that.
You're a good mother, Fi.

But, if there's
anything you think
we're missing...

[chuckles]
Couple of dodgy parties

in the mid-naughties,
but no.

I've been racking
my brains, honestly.

-We'll be in touch.
-Thanks.

She's hiding something.

Most people are.

Does, um, Maggie
seem a bit off to you?

Off how?

Just-- No,
I'm being paranoid.

Eh, that's what
secrets do to you.

Happy anniversary.

[music playing]

-Sorry!
-[keys clatter]

Give me two minutes.
Then we can go eat.

[all] Surprise!

[cheering]

[whispering]
China. Interesting.

-Go with it.
-["The Hustle"playing]

Happy anniversary.

I hate you.

I really hate you.

-Whoo!
-Whoo!

20 years.
You've set the bar high.

[dance music playing]

[dance music playing]

[Ruth laughing]

Oh.

-Mum.
-What?

What are
you wearing?

I borrowed
the tail from Tilly,

and everyone always loves
something glittery.

[laughs]

Ah, Christie.

Ruth.

Did no one bother
to dress up?

Oh, uh, made in China.

No.

-[Maggie] Oh, Christie.
-Hey.

[dance music continues]

-[Zander] Finally.
-[mutters]

[chorus singing]

Have you
heard the rumor?

Apparently he's
been having lunches.

Zander's
very curious.

But I told him
some things are
better left alone.

They're
important things,

anniversaries,
parties...

remembering.

A chance to reflect
on what's important,

who's important.

I have.

Of course you have,
Hannah.

You're not stupid.

You did
a brave thing,

even if
it's painful,

the right thing.

Your father and I
struggled to limp
past ten.

[instrumental music]

Interesting little rumor
I heard, too,

that Oscar divorced you
on the basis of adultery.

What is this fashion
for calling parents
by their first names?

I thought we left that
behind in the seventies.

Ruth.

We all have things we're
not proud of, Hannah.

If there's one thing
I hope we've all learned

from the past
few months,

is that it's never
one person to blame.

You know
your front door's open?

Prof Ronnie.

Hannah.

How nice,
a man in a suit.

-Thank you.
-[Nathan] Hannah,

Vinnie's saying
he swallowed
an ear bud.

S-Sorry.

Oh, my God.
Prof Ronnie.

-Hi!
-Rose.

Hey, James. James.

Um, this is, um...
Prof Ronnie.

Oh, right. Great.

Why you being weird?

Same hair.
Same hair.

-He's grey.
-Get his glass.

-[stammers]
-DNA.

This is not The Pink Panther.

-Oh, my God. Oh, sorry.
-Rose.

I'm so sorry,
There's a,
um, crack.

James, can you get
Ronnie some more,
uh, champagne?

I don't know.
Don't ask.

You're fine.

-Do you feel sick?
-No.

You're not ill,
it'll flush itself out. Yeah.

["Heart of Glass"playing]

It's Ronnie's.

You're crazy.

Or not so crazy,

rather brilliant
in my thinking.

If you think about it
and to repeat myself,

you and Nina
are both exceptional,

you know, academically,
sportily, "fertilityly."

-That's not a word.
-I mean, both of you.

Not a problem. Nina,
not even interested,

and then, bam, she just
slips into the whole...

"Oh, whoopsie.
I can procreate."

And whereas I,
you know...

for years. We--
We're never careful.

For years, never, and,
the one time I'm late,

doesn't stick.

Never sticks.

-Rose--
-Maybe I don't have

the marvelous,
miraculous Defoe DNA.

Okay. Okay.

-[crying]
-Okay.

Ohh. You're great!

[sobbing]

Rose.

["September"playing]

Having
a good time there?

What is your problem?

No, seriously.

There are many other people
you could be doing this to.

There's a whole party
of people

just waiting
to be irritated by you.

[camera whirring]

Look, I just
don't like seeing

a good thing
go to waste.

I'm pregnant.

[chuckles]
Yeah.

[sighs] Pregnant.

Yeah, well,
even more reason.

["That's the Way [I Like It]"
playing]

You were good today
with Will.

It's a pity you didn't
listen to yourself.

Tyler.

Disco queen.
Whoo!

I know I look
like I love it.

It's all fake.
Whoo!

[disco music continues]

[silverware hitting glass]

[Nathan] Uh, a decade ago,
I gave a speech...

...at our 10-year
anniversary party,

and it was a lot more exciting
than this one is gonna be.

Yeah.

Back then, it was all
backpacking in Bali

and Daft Punk at Glastonbury

and, uh, up all night
at the hacienda.

Yeah.

Uh, in the decade since,

there have been
fewer adventures,

but the adventures
we have had have been,

for the most part, dreadful.

-Ohh!
-I don't know whose idea

the European road trip was.

Yours. Your--
It was all yours.

[laughter]

Yeah, six countries
in two weeks,

three kids
in the back of the car,

and no Wi-Fi.

Worst holiday ever.

[laughter]

Um, there have been chickenpox,

um, appendicitis...

[sighs] deaths,

fathers twice,

uh, mothers both...

-Be very careful.
-still very much alive.

[laughter]

There's been huge sums
spent on football kits

and leotards and--

and on take-away food.
Thank you, Jade Garden!

[cheering]

Fun times, crap times,

but, most of the time...

it's been pretty ace.

You know, I've long thought

that marriage is like a...
Lemony Snicket story.

It's a series
of unfortunate events.

[laughter]

The best
we can do is just...

to cling to one another

and hope it works out
for the best.

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Thank you.

So, to my...

Well, adjectives fail me.

To my wife, Hannah.

To Hannah.

-Hannah!
-To Hannah!

[cheering]

Congratulations!

You all right?

[overlapping chatter]

[fireworks popping]

[cheering]

[rocket fizzes]

[laughing]

Take another one.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God.

Mm.

-[gasps]
-Oh, no.

Send it.

You think?

[laughs]

[dance music playing]

Nice speech.

Oh, damn you,
don't be nice.

You can't be nice
as well.

I mean, look at you.

You won the goddamn
genetic lottery.

Shit.
Wow, that hurts.

Is that real?

I remember life
before children,

when, uh, gyms
weren't just places

you paid membership for,
but never visited.

I just swim these days.

Hannah likes swimming.

Is that so?

[chuckles]

I always envied you.

I mean, you arrived
at law school

with your stories
of your traveling,

and you knew
every lyric

to every song
by Radiohead.

[chuckles]

No, not envy. I, um...

[sighs]
I hated you.

Ah, it's harsh,
isn't it?

But it is true.

These things
need to be said.

Actually...

I want to thank you,

because you
pushed me on.

You made me
work harder.

For Hannah,

for my family.

I'm grateful.

I hope you are.

Just don't hurt her again.

You okay?

A longer conversation.

My Uber's here
in two minutes.

Why did you never
have any children?

What?

[sighs]

Wrong time, wrong person.

Probably the right choice.

That's what Hannah said

the first time
she got pregnant,

and then she went on
and had three.

You're losing me here.

I've got nothing
against abortion,

but it's
how do you know?

Hannah said
that she just did.

[rocket fizzes]

Three months after
she got married,

she knew it was the wrong
time to have a baby,
so she had an abortion.

What?

But I couldn't
go through with it.

I'm gonna do it.

[deep breath]

I am going
to have a kid.

-[car pulls up]
-[laughs]

Uh, this must be yours.

You take it.

Are you sure?

Is it true?

Nina just told me.

Three months
after your wedding?

She told you what?

You were pregnant?

-Christie--
-You didn't tell me?

You didn't give me
a chance to--

Wow. [scoffs]

It could have been mine.

Wow.

Chr-Christie. Christie.

Go away.

Go away!

♪ This is the start

♪ The ending

♪ The pull apart
where we're just friends ♪

♪ And we don't
know how to fight ♪

♪ We don't know how
to say good night ♪

♪ Let's stay here

♪ Till morning comes