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1
00:00:36,089 --> 00:00:37,822
But I don't like camel-hair
Del!
2
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:46,161
This is not camel-hair, it's genuine polyester! There you
are. That's it. Go and have a look in the mirror.
3
00:00:51,545 --> 00:00:52,345
It's 'ansome innit, eh?
4
00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:55,833
What d'you mean 'ansome?
Look, it's miles too big for me!
5
00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,539
Of course it's not, that's the
fashion innit?
6
00:00:59,515 --> 00:01:01,932
Well how come yours looks like
it's made to measure then?
7
00:01:02,266 --> 00:01:06,356
Oh, this one. Yeah, it's a bit
small for me. I saved you the best one Rodney!
8
00:01:07,836 --> 00:01:08,909
Del, it's horrible!
9
00:01:09,901 --> 00:01:18,633
Well you could at least wear it for a while, see if you get
used to it. I mean, it is a gift Rodney, it is a gift.
10
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,935
Hey you're right, Del. Once you've had it on yer for a
while it really grows on you don't it!
11
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:36,130
D'you like it then?
12
00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:41,808
Like it? I love it. I think
it's really, really smart you know. Cheers!
13
00:01:42,579 --> 00:01:44,978
I'm glad you like it. That's
a score you owe me.
14
00:01:46,445 --> 00:01:48,694
A score? You said it was a gift!
15
00:01:49,137 --> 00:01:52,384
Well it is a gift at 20 nicker.
Cost you a 180 up Bond Street!
16
00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:54,040
Yeah but...
17
00:01:54,274 --> 00:02:03,290
Alright, don't worry about the money Rodders, I'll take it
out yer wages! Well you said you liked it!
18
00:02:03,784 --> 00:02:09,789
Yeah I know, but...yeah...
yeah, cheers Del
19
00:02:10,107 --> 00:02:15,337
That's alright Rodney. That's what brothers are for...Now
listen, I want you to pop down and see that Mrs Singh.
20
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:19,259
'Cos according to the book she had a dinner service
and two Persian rugs off us last month
21
00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:21,413
and she ain't paid a penny off 'em since!
22
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:22,258
Right.
23
00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:25,646
Right. Oh, and while you're at it. See if you can get her
interested in any of this gear.
24
00:02:26,224 --> 00:02:28,134
Del, Mrs Singh's a Hindu!
25
00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:32,638
Hindus do not go about in peek
-a-boo bras and nifty knickers!
26
00:02:34,513 --> 00:02:36,590
What are you, some kind of Swami or something?
27
00:02:37,468 --> 00:02:42,117
You don't know what goes on under them
saris! Go on, I'll see you later.
28
00:02:50,663 --> 00:02:53,922
Excuse me, sorry, can you tell
me if Mrs Singh's in at all?
29
00:02:54,376 --> 00:02:58,326
Mrs Singh don't live here any more! She moved away, about
three weeks ago. I've taken her flat.
30
00:03:00,356 --> 00:03:02,794
Great! Did she say where she
was moving to!
31
00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:04,319
Bangladesh!
32
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,165
Oh good, for a moment I
thought we'd lost her!
33
00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:09,662
Can I do anything for you?
34
00:03:11,244 --> 00:03:13,016
No, no, not really.
35
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,517
It's just that Mrs Singh bought a few items off us and she's
supposed to be paying for them on the weekly.
36
00:03:17,802 --> 00:03:19,329
I see. What are you, a tally-man?
37
00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:22,285
No, no, no, I'm not a tallyman.
38
00:03:22,630 --> 00:03:26,094
It's just that every so often I manage to get
me hand on a few...'bargains' you know.
39
00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:28,107
Really, what are you selling
today?
40
00:03:28,465 --> 00:03:35,130
Women's clothing. You know
skirts, blouses, under...er, lingerie, that sort of thing.
41
00:03:35,439 --> 00:03:37,102
Bring them inside. I might be
interested.
42
00:03:39,114 --> 00:03:40,128
Yeah alright.
43
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:43,579
Are you coming in or not?
44
00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:44,840
Yeah okay...
45
00:04:12,766 --> 00:04:15,001
Bloody hell, he's a big bloke!
46
00:04:16,092 --> 00:04:16,903
Sorry, I can't hear you!
47
00:04:17,139 --> 00:04:18,201
Er, no, nothing!
48
00:04:20,442 --> 00:04:22,997
Well what do you think?
49
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:26,556
Triffic!
50
00:04:27,202 --> 00:04:29,354
You don't think this split's
too revealing do you?
51
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,242
No! No, that's just right!
52
00:04:32,281 --> 00:04:35,199
Hey, I can't quite reach the
zip. Could you give us a hand.
53
00:04:39,887 --> 00:04:41,080
Er, what time does your husband
get home?
54
00:04:41,763 --> 00:04:43,862
He doesn't. My husband's away!
55
00:04:44,365 --> 00:04:45,300
Oh!
56
00:04:48,804 --> 00:04:50,560
Ooh, ain't you 'alf got a
strong grip!
57
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:57,929
It's all that free school milk
they keep giving us! So you're on your own then?
58
00:04:58,278 --> 00:04:59,194
No!
59
00:04:59,611 --> 00:05:00,474
Oh!
60
00:05:00,662 --> 00:05:01,891
There's my son Marcus.
61
00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:03,913
Oh right, what is he asleep in
the bedroom?
62
00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:08,521
No he's down the snooker hall!
He's 16...
63
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:20,101
I hope you don't mind me asking, but have you
been ill recently - or lost a lot of weight?
64
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,839
Oh this? No, no you know, it's
the fashion.
65
00:05:25,882 --> 00:05:32,712
Is it really? Well I'm so out of touch. I seem to spend
every hour of the day in this flat.
66
00:05:33,305 --> 00:05:35,237
What you don't know many
people round this area then?
67
00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:38,772
No. I only moved here a month
ago. I come from East London you see.
68
00:05:39,893 --> 00:05:42,603
It must get pretty gutty being
in on your own of an evening?
69
00:05:42,862 --> 00:05:46,770
Hmm, specially for someone who's used to
going out and enjoying herself all the time.
70
00:05:48,317 --> 00:05:49,680
Are there any nice places
around here?
71
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:57,134
Na! Oh there's a dinner 'n' dance place over Streatham way,
that's supposed to be really good.
72
00:05:57,976 --> 00:06:00,255
I was thinking of giving
it a try Saturday night.
73
00:06:00,584 --> 00:06:02,534
Oh I hope you and your
girlfriend enjoy yourselves.
74
00:06:02,807 --> 00:06:04,164
Oh, I haven't got a girlfriend!
75
00:06:05,059 --> 00:06:07,417
Well, what I mean to say is I
haven't got a regular one!
76
00:06:08,069 --> 00:06:09,605
Oh hundreds of casuals I bet!
77
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:15,723
Yeah, all over the place! The thing is, they're all busy
Saturday night!
78
00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:21,088
So um, you know I - I was wondering
whether you'd um, you know,
79
00:06:21,377 --> 00:06:25,859
if you're not too busy, perhaps you'd like ย
I expect you are - but if you're not ย
80
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:28,836
would you like to come with me?
81
00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:31,044
Thank you very much, it's just
that...
82
00:06:31,356 --> 00:06:33,926
Oh, no, no, it's okay, you've
made other arrangements, I understand!
83
00:06:34,188 --> 00:06:35,766
No, I haven't made other
arrangements!
84
00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:36,875
You're washing your hair!
85
00:06:37,019 --> 00:06:37,386
No!
86
00:06:37,528 --> 00:06:38,575
You're mending your bike?
87
00:06:38,739 --> 00:06:40,180
No I did that last Tuesday.
88
00:06:41,696 --> 00:06:42,843
So what is it?
89
00:06:43,225 --> 00:06:45,490
Well, how old are you?
90
00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:48,845
Well I'm not a kid if that's
what you mean! I'm 23 and a half!
91
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,537
That's what I mean! You're 23
and a half, and I'm older than you!
92
00:06:54,733 --> 00:06:55,417
So?
93
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:56,735
Well doesn't it bother you?
94
00:06:57,006 --> 00:06:58,562
No! Does it bother you?
95
00:06:58,848 --> 00:06:59,925
Well...no!
96
00:07:00,144 --> 00:07:01,527
So where's the problem?
97
00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:06,762
There isn't one! Thank you very much for the invitation,
I'd love to go out with you! See you Saturday night.
98
00:07:07,221 --> 00:07:10,467
Right at 8.30, I'll pick you
up in the va...in a mini cab!
99
00:07:13,112 --> 00:07:16,136
There's just one thing! You'd better tell me your name,
it's gonna get a bit embarrassing
100
00:07:16,283 --> 00:07:17,909
if I keep having to call you
thingy all night.
101
00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:20,453
Sorry. Yeah, Rodney.
102
00:07:20,783 --> 00:07:21,618
Irene.
103
00:07:21,843 --> 00:07:29,177
No - Rodney. Oh sorry, sorry,
pleased to meet you Irene.
104
00:07:29,523 --> 00:07:30,900
Oh yeah.
105
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,569
Well I'd better get me suit
down the cleaners then.
106
00:07:35,606 --> 00:07:40,543
Rodney. You sure you don't
mind? People might stare.
107
00:07:41,506 --> 00:07:44,236
Let them stare! That sort of
thing don't bother me Irene.
108
00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:46,764
I went out with a Chinese
girl once!
109
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,189
Of course I missed you today.
110
00:07:56,741 --> 00:08:01,906
Yeah, I missed you yesterday, and the day before that,
and the day before that, yeah.
111
00:08:02,812 --> 00:08:12,104
Come on you know I'm thinking
about you all the time! Are you? Really? Aah!
112
00:08:15,908 --> 00:08:17,480
Yeah? I mean, yeah?
113
00:08:18,548 --> 00:08:19,831
Can I dip my bread in your egg?
114
00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:23,264
Help yourself.
115
00:08:23,429 --> 00:08:24,469
Thanks very much.
116
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,234
...No, no that's my brother.
117
00:08:30,953 --> 00:08:42,435
Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, I'll see you soon,
of course I do! I can't. There's people here!
118
00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:47,855
Yeah alright. Okay. Se you.
Bye.
119
00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:50,837
Who was that Rodney?
120
00:08:51,382 --> 00:08:53,284
Eh? Oh, er, Mickey Pearce.
121
00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:02,379
Mickey Pearce?
122
00:09:04,957 --> 00:09:06,841
Del, I want your advice. I've
got a bit of a problem.
123
00:09:07,189 --> 00:09:11,104
I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know.
I'd rather die in ignorance!
124
00:09:13,108 --> 00:09:16,265
There's never been anything like that in our
family.
125
00:09:17,843 --> 00:09:20,501
Hey hang about Mickey Pearce is on holiday in
France ain't he?
126
00:09:21,389 --> 00:09:24,849
Oh yeah! Well it wasn't him
actually, it was a girl.
127
00:09:28,053 --> 00:09:32,635
Don't you ever do that to me again Rodney.
I'll be up all night with heartburn...
128
00:09:34,096 --> 00:09:36,687
So you've got a bird have you?
Ah, well, that explains it!
129
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:37,865
Explains what?
130
00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:41,832
It explains why you've been lolloping about
so much for the last week or so!
131
00:09:42,492 --> 00:09:44,563
You wanna pull your socks up my son,
it's beginning to affect business!
132
00:09:44,879 --> 00:09:46,001
How can it affect business?
133
00:09:46,384 --> 00:09:47,436
I'll tell you shall I?
134
00:09:47,751 --> 00:09:53,229
Look a tart in here called - Irene Macky right ย
she's had 17 quid's worth of clothes off you.
135
00:09:53,436 --> 00:09:56,367
And you're letting her pay you back at 25 pence a
week right.
136
00:09:57,150 --> 00:09:59,626
That means you've got to go round there every
week for a year!
137
00:10:02,089 --> 00:10:03,197
Yeah, I know.
138
00:10:08,286 --> 00:10:11,063
Oh I geddit, Rodney's got a mystery!
139
00:10:12,217 --> 00:10:18,061
Irene's not a mystery! We've just been seeing a lot of each
other and well, we've become quite close!
140
00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:20,969
Promise me you won't laugh?
141
00:10:22,214 --> 00:10:23,418
No of course I won't!
142
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:25,080
I think I'm in love.
143
00:10:29,364 --> 00:10:31,092
Oh, do us a favour Rodney.
144
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:35,474
Only a month ago you was in
love with that skinny bird from the dry-cleaners.
145
00:10:36,223 --> 00:10:39,062
Now along comes another little girl and
you're away again!
146
00:10:40,174 --> 00:10:44,659
Marguerite from the dry cleaners was just an
infatuation! This is the real thing!
147
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,689
And Irene is not a little girl - she happens to
be a woman!
148
00:10:48,722 --> 00:10:55,920
Oh a woman, eh? He's fell in love with someone who's got
the vote this time! How old is she, 20?
149
00:10:56,597 --> 00:10:58,703
No. She's about - 30.
150
00:11:00,308 --> 00:11:02,703
What d'you mean about 30? How
old is he exactly?
151
00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:03,927
40.
152
00:11:04,976 --> 00:11:07,518
40? 40?
153
00:11:10,873 --> 00:11:12,472
You're not being serious are you?
154
00:11:12,882 --> 00:11:14,495
Well what's wrong with going
out with a woman of 40?
155
00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:21,880
Nothing, nothing at all, if you happen to be 50!
Blimey she's even too old for me!
156
00:11:22,985 --> 00:11:24,928
Well I'd have to think twice!
157
00:11:27,598 --> 00:11:28,794
Shut up Grandad.
158
00:11:29,509 --> 00:11:31,092
No, he's right Rodney, he's right.
159
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:34,104
I mean, when she was drinking frothy coffee with
some Ted up the Lyceum,
160
00:11:34,418 --> 00:11:36,085
you were struggling to keep your
gripe water down!
161
00:11:37,386 --> 00:11:39,965
Oh no, bruv, this is one problem
you're gonna have to solve on your own!
162
00:11:41,069 --> 00:11:42,101
That's not the problem!
163
00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:44,066
What, something else is it?
164
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:45,785
Yeah. Her husband!
165
00:11:47,377 --> 00:11:48,789
She's not married n' all is she?
166
00:11:49,454 --> 00:11:51,738
Oh no he don't live with her.
He's away.
167
00:11:52,132 --> 00:11:53,106
Where?
168
00:11:53,285 --> 00:11:54,398
Parkhurst.
169
00:11:56,315 --> 00:12:03,336
I don't believe you! I don't believe you!
You're not going case-o with the wife of a convict are you?
170
00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:07,726
You don't 'alf jump to conclusions don't you,
I mean just 'cos he's in Parkhurst
171
00:12:07,979 --> 00:12:12,864
don't automatically mean he's a convict!
I mean he could be a warder, or even a governor!
172
00:12:14,175 --> 00:12:17,098
- And is he?
- Is he what?
173
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,765
Well a warder or the governor?
174
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,727
...Well, no, he's a convict -
but you weren't sure, were you?
175
00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:25,417
What's he in there for Rodney?
176
00:12:26,004 --> 00:12:27,259
Er, you know, this and that.
177
00:12:27,699 --> 00:12:28,862
Yeah come on, like what?
178
00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,464
Well like wounding with intent,
GBH and attempted murder.
179
00:12:35,031 --> 00:12:36,964
He's got a little bit of a
temper has he?
180
00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:40,672
Well this is why Irene's had
such an unhappy life with him.
181
00:12:41,149 --> 00:12:42,460
He used to beat her up Del!
182
00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:45,493
She's moved over this way from
the East End to get away from him.
183
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:50,055
Hang on a minute, hang on a minute. What d'you mean get
away from him? He's on the Isle of bloody Wight Rodney!
184
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:54,029
Yeah, I know that, but he's being released soon!
That's the problem.
185
00:12:54,821 --> 00:13:00,393
Look, when he comes out do you think I should go
and see him, and tell him about me and Irene, man to man?
186
00:13:07,126 --> 00:13:08,425
Well, let me put it this way.
187
00:13:09,447 --> 00:13:15,653
You know one day if you're really fed up with having
knees in the middle of your legs, you know,
188
00:13:15,859 --> 00:13:21,454
you go and see him. On the other hand, if
you've grown quite attached to them, emigrate to Vietnam -
189
00:13:22,025 --> 00:13:28,683
you stupid little plonker Rodney. What do you think this
is, Jackanory? This bloke's a killer!
190
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:31,711
Well he only got done for
attempted murder!
191
00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:38,365
Oh did he? Well, maybe that was just a bit of practice,
eh? His first big success is going to come with Rodney.
192
00:13:39,548 --> 00:13:42,777
You're just like the rest of
modern society, aren't you - frightened!
193
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:50,436
What me, frightened of them nutters there in the shadows?
Yes, oh yeah, they frighten me Rodney!
194
00:13:50,974 --> 00:13:55,348
Yeah, well, I've got a life to live right and I'm not going
to have some mindless little thug like her old man,
195
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,992
Tommy Mackay, telling me what I can do
and what I can't do!
196
00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:01,108
It's one battle I'm gonna have to
win ain't it!
197
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:04,794
Alright, alright. Go on, you
go and do that then Popeye.
198
00:14:04,932 --> 00:14:07,327
What are you gonna do? Carry a
couple of tins of spinach round with you?
199
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,919
Listen, you wanted my advice right - well
here it is.
200
00:14:12,395 --> 00:14:17,173
Steer clear of Irene Mackay otherwise sleep
with one eye open alright?
201
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:21,974
Yeah, well, I'll think about it Del. I'll see you both
later, I'm going round Irene's!
202
00:14:22,245 --> 00:14:25,026
Yeah, go on then - go on. You go round there.
Off you go - on your bike.
203
00:14:25,929 --> 00:14:29,009
I wouldn't bother to put that on 'cos
when we come to pay our last respects to you,
204
00:14:29,176 --> 00:14:35,756
you'll be wearing a concrete overcoat.
You'll be helping to support a flyover on the M26!
205
00:14:38,923 --> 00:14:40,924
What are you gonna do Del Boy?
206
00:14:43,733 --> 00:14:47,662
Nothing! I mean you know what he's like with the
birds don't you,
207
00:14:47,918 --> 00:14:50,485
falls in and out of love more times
than Starsky and Hutch.
208
00:14:51,913 --> 00:14:53,847
Anyway, they always give him the elbow
after a fortnight.
209
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,868
But in case she don't?
210
00:14:56,877 --> 00:14:59,067
I'm gonna put his name down for BUPA!
211
00:15:22,736 --> 00:15:23,926
Good morning my little pot
pouri.
212
00:15:24,161 --> 00:15:25,023
Good morning.
213
00:15:25,207 --> 00:15:30,649
Giss a Tia Maria and a pineapple juice and,
'alf a lager for lover boy will you.
214
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,547
He's on scotch and that's his
fourth!
215
00:15:32,829 --> 00:15:34,923
Is it? Alright give him one
more and that's his lot!
216
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,047
Right.
217
00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:43,189
Alright Rodders? I knocked out
all of them Georgian digital clocks.
218
00:15:43,737 --> 00:15:44,877
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
219
00:15:45,626 --> 00:15:46,462
Triffic!
220
00:15:49,389 --> 00:15:53,986
Leave that there, right. Don't
sit on it. What's the matter with you?
221
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:55,825
Nuffing!
222
00:15:56,068 --> 00:15:57,946
Now come on, don't give us
that. What's the matter now?
223
00:15:58,952 --> 00:16:00,346
It's Irene!
224
00:16:00,998 --> 00:16:04,223
Oh don't tell me. They've
turned down her free bus pass?
225
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:07,941
She's finished with me!
226
00:16:09,262 --> 00:16:12,818
Oh! Oh well, all's well that
ends well I suppose.
227
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:16,632
What d'you mean 'all's well
that ends well'? It hasn't ended well for me has it!
228
00:16:16,829 --> 00:16:18,828
Oh now, come on Rodney.
229
00:16:19,314 --> 00:16:21,604
Come on you've had a good time,
ain't yer - you know, a few drinks,
230
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,833
bit of the old Humpty
Dumpty and now it's finished ain't it, eh?
231
00:16:25,925 --> 00:16:30,832
You're a pig ain't yer? That is the pinnacle of your
aesthetic appreciation innit -
232
00:16:31,405 --> 00:16:32,985
a few drinks and a bit of
Humpty Dumpty!
233
00:16:35,068 --> 00:16:38,003
Yeah...No I was just trying to
put it into perspective that's all.
234
00:16:38,323 --> 00:16:40,904
I mean, you didn't honestly think that anything
was gonna come of it did you?
235
00:16:41,726 --> 00:16:42,972
I loved her Del!
236
00:16:46,116 --> 00:16:53,788
Now come on Rodney, believe me
bruv, it's all for the best in the end.
237
00:16:55,668 --> 00:16:57,378
I mean I know exactly what would have happened.
238
00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:03,082
You know, one day you'd have gone down
that roller disco and met some blinding 18-year-old sort
239
00:17:03,262 --> 00:17:08,981
who'd have knocked your eyes out. And she would have fell
head over heels for you, wouldn't she?
240
00:17:09,764 --> 00:17:10,470
Well...
241
00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:14,636
Yeah and then you'd have had
to go and break the news to Irene!
242
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:21,502
How do you think a 40- year-old woman would feel,
knowing that she's lost in love to a younger woman?
243
00:17:23,925 --> 00:17:28,399
She wouldn't be just losing any
man. She'd be losing you!
244
00:17:32,628 --> 00:17:34,073
I've never thought of it like
that.
245
00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:37,777
That scar would never heal!
246
00:17:39,283 --> 00:17:41,826
No! Oh poor chick!
247
00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:48,150
Exactly! It's che sara, sara as the French say.
248
00:17:50,043 --> 00:17:53,751
Anyway, her old man was released yesterday,
so it's saved you from all that didn't it.
249
00:17:54,564 --> 00:17:58,705
Yeah! You're right. Look I'm
sorry if I've bin a bit of a pain lately.
250
00:17:58,913 --> 00:18:00,082
No, of course you ain't, no!
251
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,811
Oh do leave off! Look at me -
I've been acting like a right wally!
252
00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:05,141
Oi, now I don't want you talking like that Rodney!
253
00:18:06,173 --> 00:18:12,543
Emotions that you've been experiencing are the things
that separate you from well from those morons.
254
00:18:16,447 --> 00:18:21,644
No it's alright. It just shows that you're a human being,
in the fullest sense of the word.
255
00:18:22,663 --> 00:18:29,487
You proves you've got a heart Rodney,
and them feelings deserve respect and dignity.
256
00:18:30,978 --> 00:18:35,094
Don't feel ashamed of them -
you feel proud of them.
257
00:18:37,236 --> 00:18:38,555
- Yeah!
- That's it.
258
00:18:39,273 --> 00:18:40,289
Cheers Del.
259
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,437
It's alright. I'll get our drinks, eh?
260
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,371
What's up with him?
261
00:18:47,582 --> 00:18:53,593
Oh some old tart's given him the sack ย
you know what he's like don't yer?
262
00:18:54,949 --> 00:18:58,133
Here you are. If you're looking for answers you won't
find any in the bottom of a glass!
263
00:18:58,532 --> 00:18:59,982
No, I just fancied a drink that's all!
264
00:19:00,179 --> 00:19:02,739
That's alright, that's alright - just you know,
you just lay off the bottle. Alright?
265
00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:05,514
- Right cheers then anyway.
- Cheers.
266
00:19:05,772 --> 00:19:06,676
Good luck.
267
00:19:09,394 --> 00:19:11,201
- Hello Rodney.
- Oh hello Marcus.
268
00:19:11,772 --> 00:19:13,407
This is Irene's son. This is
my brother.
269
00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:14,745
Alright Del!
270
00:19:14,899 --> 00:19:26,480
Yeah - hello son. Smart looking kid ain't he, eh?
I reckon he can pick up BBC2 on that hair.
271
00:19:29,712 --> 00:19:37,713
BBC2 on his hair...
What's the matter with you now?
272
00:19:38,248 --> 00:19:42,983
Ah, no, nothing, but how did
you know Irene's husband was released yesterday?
273
00:19:44,706 --> 00:19:46,665
Ah well you - you must have
said!
274
00:19:47,175 --> 00:19:49,181
Did I? But I didn't know!
275
00:19:50,358 --> 00:19:52,020
You must have said I mean -
how else would I have known?
276
00:19:53,343 --> 00:19:54,601
Yeah, I s'pose I must have!
277
00:19:55,656 --> 00:20:01,014
'ere well, come on, come on, let's get going. Drink up, eh,
see if we can do a bit this afternoon.
278
00:20:02,066 --> 00:20:05,511
Yeah, alright, how did Marcus
know your name?
279
00:20:08,699 --> 00:20:09,958
You introduced us didn't you,
eh?
280
00:20:10,530 --> 00:20:12,658
No I just said you was my
brother, I didn't say your name!
281
00:20:13,704 --> 00:20:15,547
Well, he must have heard it
before somewhere mustn't he?
282
00:20:15,905 --> 00:20:16,981
He's never met you before!
283
00:20:19,193 --> 00:20:22,665
Well it must have been me 'D' look. I'm wearing a big 'D'
ain't I, it's obvious me name's Del innit?
284
00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:30,820
No, that could stand for David, Daniel, Douglas.
He's wearing one of your coats.
285
00:20:31,322 --> 00:20:34,484
I know that - I know that, we're all wearing them ain't
we, eh? Look it's the fashion, ain't it eh?
286
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,521
Come on - come on let's go!
287
00:20:37,791 --> 00:20:40,180
Oi Marcus! How did you know
his name?
288
00:20:40,858 --> 00:20:43,364
I met him on Thursday when he
took Mum out for a drink!
289
00:20:49,646 --> 00:20:51,002
You took Irene out?
290
00:20:54,221 --> 00:21:00,092
Now look Rodney, it's not what
you think. I just wanted to talk to her about you.
291
00:21:00,612 --> 00:21:01,955
Me? What did you tell her
about me?
292
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:08,015
I didn't tell her anything about you. I was - I just - I
just told her a few home truths, that's all.
293
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:15,785
I just - I just said, you know, if she
thought anything of you, she ought to leave you alone!
294
00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:23,285
Thanks Del! Where would I be
without you, eh? Happy maybe!
295
00:21:23,487 --> 00:21:26,746
Now come here Rodney. Now Rodney, just a minute.
Look, I did it for you.
296
00:21:27,508 --> 00:21:29,008
I mean, what
do you wanna do - end up dead?
297
00:21:29,169 --> 00:21:34,377
No! But it's nice to have a choice innit. One of these
days Del - just one of these days!
298
00:21:34,558 --> 00:21:36,380
Rodney, come - Rodney, I did
it for you.
299
00:21:54,952 --> 00:21:56,659
That's the thanks I get!
300
00:22:01,614 --> 00:22:05,882
Oh yes, it was made for Ahmed my son.
301
00:22:06,112 --> 00:22:07,208
It's too big man!
302
00:22:07,517 --> 00:22:14,155
No, no, no, it isn't. No, that is the fashion. Let's have a
look at the back. Oh that's beautiful that is.
303
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:16,857
Yours isn't too big!
304
00:22:17,046 --> 00:22:18,467
Ah but - this is small on me!
305
00:22:19,010 --> 00:22:25,117
Anyway, I reserved the best one for you Ahmed my son. Now
come on at 25 nicker you can't go wrong, can you, eh?
306
00:22:25,617 --> 00:22:26,915
Alright man, I'll take it.
307
00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:31,058
That's it. You know it makes sense! Now, d'you want to pay
now or do you want it on the old...
308
00:22:31,878 --> 00:22:33,048
I'll pay you two pounds a week
Del.
309
00:22:33,339 --> 00:22:34,937
- Alright. I'll see you next week.
- Alright.
310
00:22:35,458 --> 00:22:36,738
You won't catch cold in that.
311
00:22:46,616 --> 00:22:48,159
Oi, what's your game!
312
00:22:48,434 --> 00:22:54,431
Take it easy man, you might hurt yourself! There's someone
here who's been dying to meet you.
313
00:22:54,813 --> 00:22:56,419
Oh yeah - who's that then?
314
00:22:57,014 --> 00:23:02,861
Me! Mackays the name. Tommy
Mackay. Ring a bell does it?
315
00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:06,749
Yeah, I think I've heard of it
before.
316
00:23:08,018 --> 00:23:10,640
You bet you're life you've
heard it before sunshine!
317
00:23:12,114 --> 00:23:16,642
You've been seen out with my
wife Trotter! Guilty or not guilty?
318
00:23:17,122 --> 00:23:19,151
Oh no, it was jut only a
friendly dink!
319
00:23:19,435 --> 00:23:24,134
But I'm not a friendly geezer.
And that kind of thing makes me very 'angry'!
320
00:23:25,767 --> 00:23:29,645
I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll
remember for the ret of your life, Rodney my old son!
321
00:23:30,107 --> 00:23:36,810
Now listen, listen now, let's
not be hasty, er? Rodney? Did you say Rodney?
322
00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:39,834
Yeah that's right, Rodney
Trotter, that's you innit?
323
00:23:48,027 --> 00:23:50,742
Yeah, yeah, I'm Rodney Trotter
yeah.
324
00:23:51,235 --> 00:23:54,355
Good! Okay Leroy give him some air.
325
00:24:11,548 --> 00:24:15,331
Now look what you've made me
do! That was a brand-new coat that was.
326
00:25:19,866 --> 00:25:23,615
Rodders. Guess what I've done
for you Rodders?
327
00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:28,486
Well if it's another example of your so-called brotherly
love, you just forget it, right.
328
00:25:29,090 --> 00:25:31,077
As far as I'm concerned
Del you're no longer my...
329
00:25:32,433 --> 00:25:34,229
What the bloody hell's
happened to you?
330
00:25:35,501 --> 00:25:40,077
It's alright. It's alright.
No, it's just - you know, I just walked into a door.
331
00:25:42,313 --> 00:25:43,367
It did all that?
332
00:25:43,558 --> 00:25:52,232
Yeah, it was a revolving door! Listen, listen to this.
I had a bit of luck tonight.
333
00:25:53,233 --> 00:25:57,086
I bumped into Tommy Mackay.
That was lucky weren't it, eh?
334
00:25:58,124 --> 00:25:59,079
Did he do that Del?
335
00:25:59,262 --> 00:26:02,440
No, no - he didn't do it, no -
no - no, it's just that I had - you know ย
336
00:26:02,586 --> 00:26:06,135
I had one too many like, and I fell down the
stairs at Monkey Harris's house.
337
00:26:06,755 --> 00:26:07,989
He lives in a bungalow.
338
00:26:08,361 --> 00:26:11,938
Yeah, well, he's moved now ain't he, eh - he's moved.
Just shut up and listen will you.
339
00:26:13,110 --> 00:26:17,040
Well I had a chat with Tommy Mackay,
tonight you see and, um,
340
00:26:17,396 --> 00:26:22,907
I managed to do what all the psychiatrists and
social workers have failed to do! I've rehabilitated him.
341
00:26:24,399 --> 00:26:27,931
He's seen the error of his ways.
You know, he'll give you no more problems.
342
00:26:28,544 --> 00:26:31,066
I've left the path clear for you
and Irene!
343
00:26:31,838 --> 00:26:34,199
Me and Irene? Oh that's all
over Del!
344
00:26:40,695 --> 00:26:41,156
What?
345
00:26:41,936 --> 00:26:46,145
Well we both had a long chat
about it, and then we decided it was never gonna work.
346
00:26:47,930 --> 00:26:55,638
It will - it will work. I've got a box of Black
Magic in the back of the van, I've only had one of it.
347
00:26:56,146 --> 00:26:58,303
Go on, whip - go on whip it
round to her now. Go on.
348
00:26:58,696 --> 00:27:03,050
No, it's no good Del! I mean, it was just circumstances
that threw us together weren't it?
349
00:27:03,723 --> 00:27:05,858
She was lonely in a strange part of town,
350
00:27:06,066 --> 00:27:11,326
and well I was just looking for a mother- figure
I suppose, anyway you was right Del.
351
00:27:12,598 --> 00:27:14,372
No, no, no, no, I wasn't - I
wasn't.
352
00:27:15,288 --> 00:27:16,621
I don't mean about me and
Irene!
353
00:27:17,248 --> 00:27:18,306
Well what d'you mean then?
354
00:27:18,759 --> 00:27:22,403
Well, this afternoon I went
down the roller-disco and I met this bird, Zoe.
355
00:27:26,341 --> 00:27:31,337
18 she is, with a body that makes Bo Derek
look a cert for plastic surgery!
356
00:27:33,262 --> 00:27:38,304
Irene was just infatuation, but this is
love! Oi, here she is now.
357
00:27:41,769 --> 00:27:45,431
Alright babe? This is Zoe.
This is my brother, he fell down some stairs.
358
00:27:46,693 --> 00:27:47,785
Nice to meet you.
359
00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:51,819
Are we going then?
360
00:27:52,026 --> 00:27:55,844
Yeah, yeah, right I'll see yer later on Del. Alright?
You can finish that if you want it.
361
00:27:56,337 --> 00:27:59,749
Yeah! See yer Rodders...See
yer Zoe.
362
00:28:00,106 --> 00:28:02,919
Oi Del! I'd have that head
looked at if I was you!
363
00:28:04,621 --> 00:28:07,601
It's the truest bloody words
you've spoke for ages Rodney!
364
00:28:15,448 --> 00:28:16,867
What happened to you?
365
00:28:17,189 --> 00:28:22,479
Me? No, no, nothing happened
to me. Rodney got a bloody good hiding though.
366
00:28:26,724 --> 00:28:29,871
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