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1
00:00:06,710 --> 00:00:07,090
.
2
00:00:07,130 --> 00:00:07,670
- What's the damage?
3
00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:09,710
- It's on the house.
4
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,380
- Oh, Dad, I know
business has been slow--
5
00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:12,720
- $4.50.
6
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,010
- Keep the change.
7
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,180
- 50ยข?
8
00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:19,640
That's your tip?
9
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,220
- Well, yeah,
that's, like, 15%.
10
00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:23,640
- It's 11%.
11
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,310
I'm glad I'm not
stripping for you.
12
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,730
I'd have to go home
with change in my panties.
13
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,280
Warmer.
14
00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:47,040
[bell clanging]
15
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,420
Big tipper here!
We got a big tipper!
16
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:53,840
- * It's true *
17
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,970
* The marriage that we once
had now is through *
18
00:00:58,010 --> 00:01:01,970
* And now we're doing
all that we can do *
19
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:06,600
* To keep us all together
as a crew *
20
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,400
* Just do as we say,
not as we do *
21
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,400
* We really thought
that we were done *
22
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,780
* But we've just begun *
23
00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:20,160
[buzzer blares]
24
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,740
- And that's 14 losses
in a row
25
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,910
for the Boston Celtics,
a terrible losing streak.
26
00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:28,040
Trey Taylor,
upset on the sideline.
27
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,380
- Poor Trey.
28
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,590
- Forget Trey.
Look around!
29
00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:33,800
This losing streak is bad
for my business.
30
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,880
- Maybe if you had a TV
that was made this century.
31
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,340
- Who can afford a new TV?
32
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,890
I'm thinking about selling
the one I got.
33
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:42,260
- Whoa, Dad, no one's
gonna buy that old TV.
34
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,930
- Hey, before you go.
35
00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,270
It's 50 bucks.
36
00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:47,810
Small dent, but it's something.
37
00:01:47,850 --> 00:01:51,150
- Oh, Dad, please, that--
that money wasn't a loan.
38
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,610
It was a gift.
I don't need it back.
39
00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:56,650
- Oh! You don't need
three grand, Rockefeller?
40
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,820
Must be nice.
41
00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:00,570
I've never been in debt
in my life,
42
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,160
and it's weighing on me.
Just take it.
43
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,620
- You sold your blood?
44
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:06,080
- I donated,
and they gave me money.
45
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,500
- When you donate something
and they give you money,
46
00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:11,580
that's called
selling something.
47
00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,590
- What else am I gonna do
with my blood?
48
00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:17,090
It's just swishing around
in my arteries, doing nothing.
49
00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:18,800
- I'm not taking
your literal blood money.
50
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,470
- Take it.
I wish my body made it faster,
51
00:02:21,510 --> 00:02:23,560
but I can get you more
next week.
52
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:24,970
- Things will turn around.
53
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,270
I-if there's anything I can do,
just say the word.
54
00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:29,890
- Now that you mention it,
55
00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,190
I need Trey to do me a favor.
56
00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:33,980
- Dad, we can't ask Trey
for money.
57
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,400
- I'm not asking for money.
58
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,240
I need him to send
a player over here
59
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,320
for a meet and greet.
60
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,780
You said, "Say the word."
61
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:43,780
- Yeah, but I can't start
asking Trey for favors.
62
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,500
- You just now said,
"Say the word."
63
00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:49,410
- I should have
excluded the words
64
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:50,620
"Trey," "favor," and "ask."
65
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,500
- It'd be good for him too.
66
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:55,800
He sends a player over,
it creates community goodwill.
67
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,130
It's a win-win.
68
00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:59,970
I'd ask him myself,
but I can't go hat in hand.
69
00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:02,970
- But it's okay for me
to go hat in hand?
70
00:03:03,010 --> 00:03:04,680
- It's not you asking.
71
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:05,720
I'm asking.
72
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,270
Just put the words
in your mouth,
73
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:08,680
you go over there,
open your mouth,
74
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,730
the words come out,
and they're from me.
75
00:03:12,690 --> 00:03:13,980
- Let me think about it.
I don't like
76
00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:16,020
mixing family with...family.
77
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,570
- Hey, wait.
78
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,110
That's 3 bucks
towards the next 50.
79
00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:24,200
[upbeat rock music]
80
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,700
- Grace, dinner's here!
81
00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:27,790
You're sure you won't stay
for a slice?
82
00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:29,660
- Yeah, Dad, you can have
some of mine.
83
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:32,120
- Mm, thanks, but Dad's
watching his tummy,
84
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,710
and I'd rather not
watch it explode.
85
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:37,550
- Mom, I just beat these two
at Monopoly so bad.
86
00:03:37,590 --> 00:03:39,300
At one point, Dad had
to borrow money from me
87
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:41,090
so he could pay me rent.
- What?
88
00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:43,220
- Yes, your daughter's
quite the loan shark.
89
00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:45,300
The vig is 20%.
90
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,140
She now owns
my blue cashmere sweater.
91
00:03:47,180 --> 00:03:49,810
- So soft.
92
00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:51,690
- When I couldn't pay rent
on Marvin Gardens,
93
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:53,600
she made me bark like a dog.
94
00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:56,610
- Please be kind to each other.
95
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,280
- She's not the person
you think she is.
96
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,280
- Yes, I am.
97
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,610
Sit, Jimmy. Sit.
98
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,530
- So how's Trey holding up?
99
00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:07,700
- How do you mean?
100
00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:09,370
- Well, Celtics are
in the toilet,
101
00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:12,620
and you consoling him
has become a meme.
102
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,580
- He's fine.
103
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,960
You know,
but when he gets here,
104
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,250
let's try not to mention
the team, okay?
105
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,760
You know, don't say "Celtics,"
106
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,090
"basketball," "basket,"
or "ball."
107
00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:24,050
Don't say "lose," "lost,"
"losing," or "loss."
108
00:04:24,090 --> 00:04:26,220
Don't say "dog," "wallet,"
"keys," or "virginity"--
109
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:27,260
anything he's lost.
110
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,430
[door closes]
111
00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:31,220
And don't give him any advice.
112
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:34,440
- The coach has gotta work
on basic skills with them.
113
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:38,150
Shooting drills, passing
drills, and conditioning.
114
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:41,030
- Thank you, Jimmy,
but they're all pretty fit.
115
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:43,030
- Hey, why don't you just
get all-new players?
116
00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:48,070
- I'll give that
some thought, Grace.
117
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,910
- Why don't you two be kind,
go in the living room,
118
00:04:49,950 --> 00:04:51,620
be kind, finish your pizza,
be kind.
119
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,500
Hey, hon.
- Hi, baby.
120
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,840
- B-T-dubs,
loving that beard, bro.
121
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,340
- Thanks, homeslice.
Um...
122
00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:08,970
but it's not for style.
123
00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:10,260
It's for good juju.
124
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,970
So no shaving
125
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:14,980
until we snap
this losing streak.
126
00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,480
- I wouldn't get
too worried about it.
127
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,940
All teams have
unlucky stretches.
128
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:19,520
- And I've been praying
every night
129
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,730
that things will turn around.
130
00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:22,570
- Yeah, well, pray extra hard,
131
00:05:22,610 --> 00:05:24,900
because Boston's not happy.
132
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,490
Today, I walked
into Dunkin' Donuts,
133
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:28,740
and they just said, "Nope."
134
00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:32,080
- That shirt is
really good on you.
135
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,620
- What do you want?
136
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,920
- Look, you know that I have
137
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,540
never asked you
for anything before,
138
00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:41,670
even though I drove you home
from your colonoscopy,
139
00:05:41,710 --> 00:05:44,010
which I was glad to do,
you know, for you
140
00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:46,340
and your colon.
141
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,340
- Spit it out, Jim.
142
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,510
- Okay.
143
00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:50,140
Business has been slow
at my dad's bar,
144
00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:52,100
so he wants you to send
a player down
145
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:55,100
for a meet and greet--but hey,
it's a win for you too.
146
00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:57,690
Dad gets a Celtic,
and you get community goodwill.
147
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:02,820
Okay, it's in no way
a win for you.
148
00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:05,400
The truth is, last month,
I threw my dad
149
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,740
a few grand
to cover some bills.
150
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:08,700
It was a gift, not a loan,
151
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:10,370
but he insists
on paying me back.
152
00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:11,700
It's--it's maddening.
153
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:12,950
If we were Vikings,
I would have
154
00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:14,450
pushed him
off a cliff a long time ago.
155
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:17,620
- Jim, I just don't have
the bandwidth.
156
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:19,710
- Look, my dad has been
selling his blood.
157
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,590
And I'm not sure how much blood
he even has anymore.
158
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,720
- All right, I guess I could
send over Yuri Kobilska.
159
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,720
- There's a Celtic
named Kobilska?
160
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,800
Does he come on a roll
with mustard?
161
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,930
- He's a new guy, Slovakian.
162
00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:36,310
I was gonna send him
back to the G League,
163
00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:38,350
but you know what,
I'll keep him one more week
164
00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:39,350
just for you.
165
00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:40,770
- For my dad.
166
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:42,610
Uh, so his name again
was Yuri...
167
00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:44,070
- Kobilska.
168
00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:45,570
- [spits] Done.
169
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:57,540
.
170
00:06:57,580 --> 00:06:58,460
- That good beard juju
kicked in.
171
00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:01,460
Kobilska's led us
to eight straight wins.
172
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,170
- Yet still no shaving.
173
00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:06,500
- Obviously, if I shave now,
we'd lose again.
174
00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:08,840
I mean, that's Juju 101.
175
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,050
- Syracuse didn't offer
a degree in juju.
176
00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:12,550
[mellow rock music]
177
00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:14,390
- Yuri, you dominated tonight--
178
00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:16,810
a triple-double,
including 14 assists.
179
00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:18,770
- I think we played well
as a team,
180
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:22,020
but all glory goes to God.
181
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:24,360
- So Yuri's coming.
Dad's gonna have a big night.
182
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,440
It's Linsanity all over again.
183
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,740
- We market tested
"Yur-insanity."
184
00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,900
It looked better on paper.
185
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,700
We messed with the juju.
186
00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:41,750
- Honey, I'm sorry.
187
00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:44,580
I just wanted to kiss you
without getting lacerations.
188
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,540
- Can you not see
there's a causal connection
189
00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:48,000
between us losing last night
190
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,670
and me trimming my beard
to now resemble an Amish elder?
191
00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:54,550
- Is that thy carriage
parked outside?
192
00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:57,260
Because thy horse has pooped.
193
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,520
- It's not funny.
194
00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,720
- What's the matter with him?
195
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,730
- Trey thinks the Celtics lost
last night
196
00:08:01,770 --> 00:08:03,100
because he trimmed his beard.
197
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:05,810
- The juju's been disrupted.
198
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,320
- Don't sweat it.
It was one game.
199
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,730
- If I would have just left
the hair on my face alone,
200
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,440
there was a clear path
to a title.
201
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:14,030
But no, you wanted a kiss.
202
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,080
- I think we're gonna go.
203
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,910
Um, come on,
let's get you a donut.
204
00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:22,620
I'm buying.
- You're gonna have to buy.
205
00:08:24,790 --> 00:08:26,960
- There's three grand.
We're square.
206
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,590
- Wow, you're--
you're pulling in that much?
207
00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:29,710
- Piece of cake!
208
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,340
I got a $20 cover.
209
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,720
Drinks cost double tonight.
210
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,010
It's called dynamic pricing.
211
00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:39,180
You see, son, some people just
have a natural business sense.
212
00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:41,600
No matter what ups and downs
the economy takes,
213
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,600
they can still turn a buck.
214
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,730
And it happens to be the Kid.
215
00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:49,940
We got a problem.
216
00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:54,990
- Thank God you got that
natural business sense, Kid.
217
00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:56,950
- Yuri won't come out
of the walk-in cooler.
218
00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:58,910
If he thinks he's gonna get
a piece of the action,
219
00:08:58,950 --> 00:09:00,330
he can forget it.
- Whoa, whoa, Dad, Dad.
220
00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:02,120
I'll--I'll talk to him.
- I'lltalk to him.
221
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,000
I'm not afraid
of some 6'3" Slovakian.
222
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,420
- He's 6'11".
223
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:09,130
- Better you go alone.
224
00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:14,300
- Oh. Hey, there.
225
00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:17,470
Um, hope I'm not interrupting.
226
00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:19,470
Uh, we haven't officially met.
227
00:09:19,510 --> 00:09:21,140
Uh, I'm Jim Kearney.
228
00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:22,970
My dad owns the bar.
229
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:26,310
Uh, wonder if I could have
a quick word with you, Yuri.
230
00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:27,940
Oh, may I call you Yuri?
231
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,650
Your--your fans are
really excited to see you.
232
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:35,320
Uh, they--they love you.
233
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,820
- When I score.
234
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:39,120
But last night, I blow game.
235
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,660
We lost because of me.
236
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:42,490
I began to believe
those who say,
237
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,870
"Yuri is a baller.
238
00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:45,960
Yuri is the shizzle."
239
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,620
And you see what happened?
240
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,540
I let God down.
241
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:51,880
- Oh, no, pfft.
God's not let down.
242
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,170
God's fine.
[chuckles]
243
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:54,800
God's got other stuff
on his mind.
244
00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:58,470
- Before I come to America,
245
00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,760
I was studying
to become a priest.
246
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,010
But in the seminary
intramural league,
247
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,600
I discovered hidden ability
to play.
248
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:06,810
- Uh, I don't know
about "hidden."
249
00:10:06,850 --> 00:10:08,770
Uh, you're very tall.
250
00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:11,400
- When I start
to have success in NBA,
251
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,480
I lose sight of God.
252
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,030
I have failed.
253
00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:16,360
- Oh, no, no.
254
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,240
You--you didn't fail.
255
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,370
Look, you know, we all--
we all love the big guy.
256
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:24,910
You know, uh, I mean, he--
he turned water into wine,
257
00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:26,660
and, uh...
[strains]
258
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,870
That whole parting
of the Red Sea thing,
259
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,630
that was, uh--
that was pretty cool.
260
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:33,880
Um...
261
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,630
uh, bubonic plague
was a misstep.
262
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:40,550
But he bounced back
with the Matterhorn--
263
00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:43,260
both the mountain and the ride.
264
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,930
- God is so amazing.
265
00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:47,890
- Yes, and he gets plenty
of praise and attention for it.
266
00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:50,440
Uh, uh, temples,
mosques, churches,
267
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,610
Chick-fil-A is closed
on Sunday, all for him.
268
00:10:54,650 --> 00:10:56,070
And you honor him too.
269
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,740
Uh, What do you say
in your postgame interviews?
270
00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:59,030
- Glory goes to God.
271
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:01,240
- Yeah, right.
So what happens to you
272
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,070
is part of God's plan.
273
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,990
Those free throws you ganked
the other night?
274
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,290
That's on him, not you.
275
00:11:08,330 --> 00:11:10,290
- I never think
like this way before.
276
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:13,460
- Well, start thinking
like this way, my friend.
277
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,670
It's all a part of his plan.
278
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:19,130
- You are very wise,
Jim Kearney.
279
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:21,340
Can we speak more
about this sometime?
280
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,890
- Uh, sure we can, out there,
281
00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:24,720
uh, after we meet,
uh, and greet,
282
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,470
which are, admittedly,
the same thing.
283
00:11:26,510 --> 00:11:28,180
Um, so let's get you out there
284
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,640
and meeting
your adoring public.
285
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,650
So--oh, oh, goodness. Okay.
286
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:33,900
Um...
287
00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:38,150
- Even your head
is like basketball.
288
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,360
[crowd cheering]
289
00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:48,450
- Who's the Kid now?
290
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,250
- Thank you, son.
291
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,250
- Hey, Yuri,
what happened last night?
292
00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:58,420
You were the opposite
of clutch.
293
00:11:58,460 --> 00:11:59,840
- I do not like to lose,
294
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,220
but sometimes losing is
a part of God's plan.
295
00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,800
- But you bricked
the two free throws.
296
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,010
That would've made
the difference.
297
00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:08,100
- Your math is correct.
298
00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:10,730
My intention is always
to score.
299
00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:12,350
But once the ball
leaves my hand,
300
00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:14,100
the outcome is not up to me.
301
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,560
So if people do not like
the outcome,
302
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,650
people should not blame me.
303
00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:21,320
You should blame God.
304
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:32,000
.
305
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,040
- Oof! Another Monopoly
beatdown, Jimmy.
306
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,040
Pennsylvania Avenue
with three houses?
307
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,130
[clicks tongue] Next game,
you're gonna owe me a thousand.
308
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:40,840
- Dad, tell her debts don't
carry over to the next game.
309
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,970
- Well, yes, they do.
310
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,800
Unless--
- I'm not barking.
311
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,300
- Jimmy, you're my brother.
312
00:12:46,340 --> 00:12:47,930
I wouldn't make you bark.
313
00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:49,310
Can you roll over?
314
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:50,390
- Mom.
315
00:12:51,890 --> 00:12:53,850
- Kids, be kind to each other.
316
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:56,810
One day, your father
and I will be dead.
317
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,360
- Such a lovely thought.
318
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,780
- Might we grab you for
a little confab in the kitchen?
319
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:04,450
- Okay, I'll take
what money you got,
320
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,610
plus you have to roll over.
321
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,660
- I'm not doing it.
- [scoffs]
322
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,070
[baby voice] Who's a good boy?
323
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,660
- Stop.
- Who's a good boy?
324
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,490
- I need to have
a word with you, bro.
325
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,460
- Why is he looking at me
like something is my fault?
326
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,460
- Because something is
your fault, Jim.
327
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:18,420
- Word has gotten out
about Mr. Kobilska's comments
328
00:13:18,460 --> 00:13:21,130
last night, and there have
been some feelings.
329
00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:23,510
- They're not
positive feelings, Jim.
330
00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:26,550
- People are not happy that
Yuri threw God under the bus.
331
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:29,510
- God is already under the bus.
332
00:13:29,550 --> 00:13:30,970
He's everywhere.
333
00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:35,640
- People are protesting
outside of TD Garden.
334
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,690
- Who the hell is protesting?
- People who believe
335
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:38,860
that God has been insulted--
336
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,940
and there's a lot of them.
337
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,360
- Well, this is America.
338
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,320
People are entitled
to their religious beliefs,
339
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,820
but that stuff has nothing
to do with me.
340
00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:47,820
- Oh, really?
341
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:50,030
Because an hour ago,
I asked Mr. Kobilska
342
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,450
how he arrived
at the conclusion
343
00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:54,200
that the Lord Almighty
is somehow to blame
344
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,870
for his laughable
free throw skills...
345
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,460
- And guess what he said?
346
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,380
- "I really should practice
my free throws"?
347
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,460
- No, he said
he received guidance
348
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,050
from his spiritual advisor.
349
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:06,470
- I was just trying
to get him out of the cooler.
350
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,390
- I should have never agreed
to send Yuri!
351
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,390
- You only kept Yuri
because I asked for the favor.
352
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:12,430
Ha!
- Ha?
353
00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:14,060
You don't get to "ha" him!
354
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,690
- I'm gonna need to re-borrow.
355
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,060
- Where the hell
did you come from?
356
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,650
- From my God-blaming bar,
357
00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,060
where people are
demanding refunds.
358
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,400
- Refunds? For what?
359
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,980
- That's what I said.
360
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,820
I told 'em, no way I'm paying
for beers they already drank.
361
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,910
They threatened to set fire
to the building.
362
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:31,490
So we compromised,
and I gave 'em refunds.
363
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:33,200
I had no choice!
364
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,540
All because this guy's
star player
365
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:38,000
is a God-blaming blasphemer!
366
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,790
- I told Yuri you'd want
to counsel him
367
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:42,420
in his time of strife.
- Uh, I'm having
368
00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:44,420
my own time of strife.
369
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:47,010
I do not want
to be repaid, Dad.
370
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,840
You're not allowed to repay me.
371
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:53,220
- If I have to sell a kidney,
you'll get every penny back.
372
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:57,640
- Nobody wants
your 71-year-old kidneys.
373
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,350
- You wish your pee stream
was as strong as mine.
374
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,980
I'll put a frozen rope
into that sink from right here!
375
00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:10,530
- Please don't.
376
00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:11,950
[doorbell rings]
377
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:14,370
- All right, Jim, you're up.
378
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:15,950
- He's here?
Why is he here?
379
00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:17,870
- Because there are
people protesting
380
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:20,250
outside of TD Garden!
381
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:22,960
- What am I supposed to say?
382
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,290
- Oh, bestow your wisdom
383
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,420
about the nature of God
and the universe.
384
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:27,710
- I know next to nothing
385
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,300
about the nature
of God and the universe.
386
00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:30,380
I'm a layman.
387
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,260
- Jim, this is impacting
Trey's business,
388
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:34,100
all because your father can't
accept your generosity
389
00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:36,430
like a normal human being!
390
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:39,680
- I'm not gonna take money
from my own son!
391
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,230
Well, except this check.
392
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:43,730
- Listen up, Reverend Jim.
393
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:46,650
You asked for the favor,
and you are going to fix this!
394
00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:47,980
- All right.
Here we go.
395
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,320
- Well, well, well.
396
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,740
If it isn't
the human hand grenade.
397
00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:53,070
- Not helpful, Dad.
398
00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:55,280
- Mr. Taylor said
you wanted to talk to me.
399
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,830
- Yeah.
Yeah, I--I--
400
00:15:57,870 --> 00:16:00,960
I think you may have taken
something I said yesterday
401
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
the wrong way.
402
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,830
- No, I understand completely.
403
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,590
Your message is so simple:
404
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,800
God has a plan.
405
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,930
- Jim, why don't you illuminate
us and Mr. Kobilska
406
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:14,300
about the concept of free will
407
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:18,140
and how it fits
within God's plan?
408
00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:21,770
- Yuri, my clumsy
inarticulations
409
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:25,310
have, uh, led you astray...
410
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,020
my son.
411
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,860
Uh, and as a--a good shepherd,
412
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,900
uh, who tends his flock,
413
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,370
I must bring you
back into the--
414
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:36,370
- Herd.
415
00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:41,960
- Flock.
416
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,250
Each sheep, uh, grows wool,
417
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:54,880
uh, for--
for making socks and, uh...
418
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,930
- Mittens.
- Yes, mittens.
419
00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:58,470
- People need mittens.
- Yes.
420
00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:01,640
Uh, and sometimes you--you give
your mittens to someone--
421
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,560
a family member, perhaps--
422
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,560
and they think they need
to give you those mittens back,
423
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,110
even though you repeatedly--
repeatedly--
424
00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:12,530
tell them
you do not want them back.
425
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:16,950
So you, uh, ask someone
who has, uh, an extra sheep
426
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:19,780
to--to loan you a--a sheep,
427
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:23,040
uh, so that the aforementioned
family member
428
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,960
can gather their own wool,
429
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:30,550
so they can make
their own mittens.
430
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:34,760
- So we need you, Yuri,
to clarify...
431
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:35,930
- That when you play poorly...
432
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:37,260
- It's not God's fault.
433
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:40,220
Does that make sense?
- Not really.
434
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,180
- Pray on it, and it will.
435
00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:45,270
- Job 36:11,
"If they hear and serve him,
436
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:47,980
"they will end their days
in prosperity
437
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,690
and their years in pleasures."
438
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:51,070
- I love that one.
439
00:17:51,110 --> 00:17:53,780
- 12 years of Catholic school.
[chuckles]
440
00:17:59,240 --> 00:17:59,410
.
441
00:17:59,450 --> 00:18:00,030
[mellow rock music]
442
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,450
- Trey will go first.
443
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:03,950
A quick statement
on behalf of the team,
444
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,500
and then throw it
to Mr. Kobilska.
445
00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:07,750
Just read the statement
exactly as I wrote it,
446
00:18:07,790 --> 00:18:09,000
and everything will be fine.
447
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,420
- I'm quite nervous.
448
00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:13,550
- I'd like to offer a few words
to my disciple--
449
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:15,550
- No, no, no.
450
00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,880
You--I think you've said
enough, all right?
451
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,390
You're gonna be fine.
This is just a clarification.
452
00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:22,560
That's all--
to finish what you started.
453
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:25,350
- All right.
Go get 'em.
454
00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:26,980
- Hey, how's everybody doing?
455
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,730
Thank you for coming out.
456
00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:31,610
Um, good afternoon.
457
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:34,570
While the Celtics organization
respects religious freedom,
458
00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:37,570
we recognize that there
are appropriate times
459
00:18:37,610 --> 00:18:39,410
for its expression.
460
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:42,580
To that end, Mr. Kobilska has,
uh, prepared a statement.
461
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:45,660
- [clears throat]
I wish to apologize
462
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:48,830
for any offense I have caused
to the people of Boston,
463
00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:51,290
America, and around the world.
464
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:54,960
My intention was never to--
465
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:04,430
I believe God has a plan.
466
00:19:04,470 --> 00:19:06,430
But up until a few moments ago,
467
00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:09,350
I was uncertain
of my part in it.
468
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:12,110
Then my wise employer,
Mr. Taylor,
469
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:15,650
counseled me to finish
what I started.
470
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:19,610
I believe his message
is a message from God.
471
00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:23,070
So today, I am resigning
from the Celtics
472
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:27,290
to return to Slovakia to finish
my studies in the seminary.
473
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:29,660
I wish to thank
the Celtics organization
474
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,710
for the opportunity to play.
475
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,290
Glory to God.
476
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,960
[reporters clamoring]
477
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,090
- Man, you really got to watch
what you say to this guy.
478
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:43,850
[buzzer blares]
479
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:45,060
- And that'll do it.
480
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,810
Miami Heat, 123; Celtics, 102.
481
00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:49,930
And the boys in green have
once again found themselves
482
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,600
in the middle of
an embarrassing losing streak.
483
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:56,020
Dear God, could the Celtics
have used Kobilska tonight.
484
00:19:57,150 --> 00:19:58,780
- There's another 100--
485
00:19:58,820 --> 00:20:00,360
50 from donating blood,
486
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,820
and another 50
from donating more blood.
487
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,830
I found a workaround,
and I gave him a fake ID.
488
00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:09,450
- Okay, we gotta
talk about this.
489
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,120
This whole money thing never
should've even been a thing.
490
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,040
You know, and it somehow
became another thing
491
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,840
that really complicated
a bigger thing,
492
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,380
and that was not fun.
493
00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:20,220
Dad, I gave you that money
because you're my father,
494
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,510
and what's mine is yours.
495
00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:25,220
Okay.
This is a list of all the times
496
00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,390
that you paid for stuff
that you didn't need to.
497
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:30,680
- Senior prom, 80;
498
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,140
new snow tires, 250;
499
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,810
parking tickets, 150.
500
00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,980
This adds up to three grand?
501
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:39,320
- On the nose.
502
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,280
- You're a good son.
503
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,200
Three-card monte, 100 bucks?
- [chuckles]
504
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,490
- I thought it was 250.
505
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,790
- Pretty sure it was a--
a flat hundred.
506
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:53,620
Anyway, I just wanted
to square our books.
507
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,250
- It was 250.
508
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,050
- Um, well, I'm--I'm saying,
you owe me nothing, so...
509
00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:02,880
- That loan I floated you
in college,
510
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,090
that was 700, not 500.
511
00:21:06,930 --> 00:21:10,270
- Huh. Memory's a--
a funny thing, isn't it?
512
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,230
So let's just say we're square.
513
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:13,560
- [chuckles]
514
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,730
That there is an amended total.
515
00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:17,730
- This looks like--
516
00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:20,480
- You owe me 2,110.
517
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,280
- What?
- I don't need it right away.
518
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,610
End of the month is fine.
37557
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