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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:10,244 [LASZLO] All I was saying was, 2 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,249 ... for once, I agree with Gizmo. 3 00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:13,508 You do overuse the vampiric hypnosis. 4 00:00:13,519 --> 00:00:15,394 - What? And you don't? - I don't need to. 5 00:00:15,408 --> 00:00:19,144 I can rely on my wit and wisdom, not cheap tricks and gambits. 6 00:00:19,178 --> 00:00:20,879 Electrical audio recording. 7 00:00:20,913 --> 00:00:23,548 Testing. One, two and... 8 00:00:23,581 --> 00:00:25,916 My point being, I can wander about these humans 9 00:00:25,949 --> 00:00:27,917 without having to resort to hypnosis. 10 00:00:27,950 --> 00:00:30,185 I'm a student of the human condition, 11 00:00:30,218 --> 00:00:32,420 a psychological chameleon, one might say. 12 00:00:32,819 --> 00:00:34,271 Well, one might also say 13 00:00:34,282 --> 00:00:37,705 that you have hypnotized your best friend Sean many times. 14 00:00:37,716 --> 00:00:40,486 Yeah, to clear up your mess, but I don't say anything 15 00:00:40,497 --> 00:00:42,924 that causes Sean any kind of alarm. 16 00:00:42,975 --> 00:00:44,851 In fact, if you talk to Sean, he'll tell you 17 00:00:44,862 --> 00:00:46,857 I'm just one of the guys. 18 00:00:46,868 --> 00:00:48,209 Well, he's my friend, too. 19 00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:49,704 That's 'cause he's a nice guy, 20 00:00:49,715 --> 00:00:51,290 which makes it doubly embarrassing 21 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,134 when you say dumb shit like, 22 00:00:53,309 --> 00:00:56,840 "I am a vampire, I've lived for 2,000 years. 23 00:00:56,851 --> 00:00:58,277 "I like to suck-a the blood. 24 00:00:58,288 --> 00:00:59,956 "Oh, shit. I fucked up. 25 00:00:59,967 --> 00:01:02,869 I'll now have to hypnotize the whole fucking world." 26 00:01:04,067 --> 00:01:06,806 - I don't do that. - You do do that. 27 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,428 You just said "Doo doo." 28 00:01:08,655 --> 00:01:11,200 Touché. Can we get on with this? 29 00:01:11,666 --> 00:01:13,801 ["YOU'RE DEAD" BY NORMA TANEGA PLAYING] 30 00:01:13,934 --> 00:01:16,785 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 31 00:01:16,796 --> 00:01:19,264 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 32 00:01:19,714 --> 00:01:22,428 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 33 00:01:22,439 --> 00:01:25,141 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 34 00:01:26,389 --> 00:01:29,222 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 35 00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:32,055 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 36 00:01:32,066 --> 00:01:34,783 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 37 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,094 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 38 00:01:41,558 --> 00:01:46,557 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com - 39 00:01:46,776 --> 00:01:49,272 [NADJA] I am not imagining anything. 40 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:52,091 Something is going very tits up with my life. 41 00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,970 - In what ways? - I don't know, Colin Robinson. 42 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:58,358 How about, my nightclub got destroyed by fire? 43 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,546 - Which you set. - I was drinking 44 00:02:00,557 --> 00:02:02,908 liquor blood every day for months. 45 00:02:02,919 --> 00:02:04,147 I know, my darling, but we did all 46 00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:05,639 - tell you to slow down. - Slow down. 47 00:02:05,650 --> 00:02:07,091 - We did tell you to slow down. - [NADJA] And no one, 48 00:02:07,102 --> 00:02:09,197 none of you told me to slow down! 49 00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:12,755 - Uh... - And now, my poor, precious little dolly 50 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,256 has got her body all mangled and minced up. 51 00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,570 You did that by sitting on me. 52 00:02:17,581 --> 00:02:19,483 While you were drunk on liquor blood. 53 00:02:19,494 --> 00:02:21,128 After we told you to slow down. 54 00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:24,577 - Yes. - This is never going to end. [CRIES] 55 00:02:24,588 --> 00:02:27,498 Now, now, Nadja. There, there. It is going to end. 56 00:02:27,509 --> 00:02:29,432 And I have just the thing that's going to help you. 57 00:02:29,443 --> 00:02:32,259 Don't tell me, Nandor. Hypnosis. 58 00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:33,470 Uh... 59 00:02:33,481 --> 00:02:36,561 Hypnosis seems to be Nandor's solution to every problem. 60 00:02:36,572 --> 00:02:39,592 And as a fellow vampire, I find this artless, 61 00:02:39,603 --> 00:02:41,647 and even embarrassing. 62 00:02:41,658 --> 00:02:45,193 You plan to hypnotize my wife free of all her woes? 63 00:02:45,204 --> 00:02:47,245 - No, actually. - Really? 64 00:02:47,256 --> 00:02:49,490 What was it then? 65 00:02:49,524 --> 00:02:51,132 You know what? The atmosphere in this room 66 00:02:51,143 --> 00:02:53,191 - is not really conducive to positive... - Hey... 67 00:02:53,202 --> 00:02:54,716 ... contributions, so just forget it. 68 00:02:54,727 --> 00:02:57,541 [RUMBLING] 69 00:03:01,271 --> 00:03:02,913 - Surprise! - [GASPING] 70 00:03:02,924 --> 00:03:04,433 I'm back. 71 00:03:05,076 --> 00:03:06,703 - Were you gone? - Yes. 72 00:03:06,714 --> 00:03:08,803 I was gone for a while. 73 00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:11,038 I have been sitting over there 74 00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:12,986 at the Vampiric Council headquarters 75 00:03:12,997 --> 00:03:15,866 wondering if you guys were going to come back. 76 00:03:15,877 --> 00:03:17,948 After a while, I just decided, 77 00:03:17,959 --> 00:03:20,077 "Maybe they forgot I even exist!" 78 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,000 [LAUGHS SOFTLY] 79 00:03:23,011 --> 00:03:24,670 Says here we're on track 80 00:03:24,681 --> 00:03:28,550 for a higher than usual level of precipitation this month. 81 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,418 - [NANDOR] No doubt. - Mm. 82 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,099 So, what did I miss? 83 00:03:34,226 --> 00:03:36,383 What's the old gang been up to, huh? 84 00:03:36,394 --> 00:03:39,833 Actually, I'm going to sit in that chair in a few minutes. 85 00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,412 No problemo. It's more comfortable over here. 86 00:03:42,626 --> 00:03:44,976 Any fun activities planned for tonight? 87 00:03:44,987 --> 00:03:46,830 Yes, we're off for a night on the town 88 00:03:46,841 --> 00:03:49,256 - with Sean and his friends. - Ha, ha! 89 00:03:49,267 --> 00:03:52,088 Is this like a "Come one, come all" type deal? 90 00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:53,752 Uh, not sure. 91 00:03:53,763 --> 00:03:55,558 I'll give you a ring when I get there. 92 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,259 - All right. - [DOOR CREAKS OPEN] 93 00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,262 - But you don't have a phone. - [DOOR CLOSES] 94 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:00,676 That was weird, right? 95 00:04:00,687 --> 00:04:03,362 I know it's hard to break into a vampire clique. 96 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:06,142 Oh, no. What happened to your little body? 97 00:04:06,175 --> 00:04:08,316 - She sat on me. - No. 98 00:04:08,327 --> 00:04:10,744 They've never invited me to live in the house. 99 00:04:10,755 --> 00:04:15,311 Apparently, they are not allowed to have a fifth vampire here, 100 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:18,217 due to some zoning regulation 101 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,576 that I have never heard of. 102 00:04:24,062 --> 00:04:26,503 [SEAN] I was never much of a wine guy when I was younger. 103 00:04:26,514 --> 00:04:28,663 - Same. - But that's 'cause we were drinking to get drunk. 104 00:04:28,674 --> 00:04:30,315 Now that we're older, 105 00:04:30,326 --> 00:04:33,699 you know, you can appreciate the concept of moderation. 106 00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:35,168 Or Charmaine told you you better start appreciating it 107 00:04:35,178 --> 00:04:36,812 if you don't want to keep sleeping 108 00:04:36,846 --> 00:04:38,280 on an army cot in the garage. 109 00:04:38,314 --> 00:04:40,429 - Come on. - Whoa. Why you got to bring that up? 110 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,576 Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, 111 00:04:43,675 --> 00:04:47,153 make a sage frolic, and the serious smile. 112 00:04:47,399 --> 00:04:50,424 Whoa! We got a fucking poet over here. 113 00:04:50,435 --> 00:04:51,489 Classic Laz. 114 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,980 [LASZLO] Now I'd like to claim that as my own, 115 00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:55,126 it was actually written a long time ago by Homer. 116 00:04:55,137 --> 00:04:56,494 [FRANK] Oh. Homer's great. 117 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,975 - Yeah. D'oh! - Yeah. D'oh. 118 00:04:58,986 --> 00:05:00,453 - [CHUCKLING] - Yes! 119 00:05:00,899 --> 00:05:03,883 Wine is very cool. 120 00:05:03,946 --> 00:05:05,272 Um... 121 00:05:05,283 --> 00:05:07,133 That was... Nandor. 122 00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:10,835 - Hmm. - Oh, me. But seriously, 123 00:05:10,869 --> 00:05:12,636 yeah, how come you guys never drink? 124 00:05:12,691 --> 00:05:15,233 I mean, I don't think I've ever seen you guys take a sip 125 00:05:15,244 --> 00:05:16,672 of nothing ever. 126 00:05:16,706 --> 00:05:19,057 - Uh... - Never? 127 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,775 - No? - No. 128 00:05:20,809 --> 00:05:22,109 [SEAN] What's up with that? 129 00:05:22,143 --> 00:05:26,217 Actually, uh, I drink lots of fluids. 130 00:05:26,228 --> 00:05:28,455 - Oh. - Red fluids. 131 00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:31,656 If Nandor were to engage his brain just once before speaking, 132 00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:34,359 he would not fall back on hypnosis. 133 00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:36,439 Much like your wine. 134 00:05:37,494 --> 00:05:40,437 - Except it is not wine. - [FRANK] Hmm. 135 00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:41,890 Okay. 136 00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:43,248 What is it then? 137 00:05:43,258 --> 00:05:44,409 - Um... - Um... 138 00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:46,298 I don't know why I said that. 139 00:05:46,309 --> 00:05:49,763 [LASZLO] A real vampire uses wit, wisdom and charm. 140 00:05:49,774 --> 00:05:52,353 What he's trying to say is, um, he's more 141 00:05:52,364 --> 00:05:54,433 of a Red Bull and vodka guy. 142 00:05:54,444 --> 00:05:55,883 ALL: Oh! 143 00:05:55,894 --> 00:05:57,629 - Yeah. - Yes, yes. 144 00:05:57,662 --> 00:05:59,325 The reason you don't see us drinking is, 145 00:05:59,336 --> 00:06:02,154 'cause we pre-gamed before we got here very heavily. 146 00:06:02,165 --> 00:06:03,846 There you go. Budget conscious. 147 00:06:03,857 --> 00:06:05,658 And you never see us eat anything 148 00:06:05,855 --> 00:06:07,622 'cause I don't want what's going down there 149 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:10,172 to come back up here and across your stupid faces. 150 00:06:10,183 --> 00:06:13,419 - [LAUGHTER] - Yeah! 151 00:06:14,239 --> 00:06:16,474 See? Little charm goes a long way. 152 00:06:17,221 --> 00:06:18,523 That was close. 153 00:06:19,395 --> 00:06:20,661 [NADJA] And on top of this 154 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:23,607 bag of shit things that keep happening to me, 155 00:06:23,699 --> 00:06:26,667 I've got no one to talk to about it. 156 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,330 I am here. 157 00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:31,475 Yes, yes, but you know what I mean. 158 00:06:31,486 --> 00:06:33,553 I have got absolutely 159 00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:36,922 no really close female friends anymore. 160 00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:38,122 None? 161 00:06:38,403 --> 00:06:41,014 Nope. Go figure. 162 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:44,025 [GUIDE] I just felt like we had gotten closer 163 00:06:44,161 --> 00:06:48,863 with the nightclub and everything, and... [SIGHS] 164 00:06:48,896 --> 00:06:50,909 So you're telling me 165 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,947 you have no close female friends? 166 00:06:55,493 --> 00:06:57,271 None at all. 167 00:07:00,343 --> 00:07:03,079 What do I got to do? [LAUGHS] 168 00:07:03,426 --> 00:07:06,086 - [SIGHS] - It's got an ass-load of terroir. 169 00:07:06,097 --> 00:07:08,151 - What the fuck do you know, terroir? - What do you mean? 170 00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,264 Nandor, uh, I don't know whether you've noticed, 171 00:07:10,275 --> 00:07:13,016 but Gizmo seems a bit odd lately. 172 00:07:13,027 --> 00:07:14,970 Yeah, I mean, he's been a bit distant lately, 173 00:07:14,981 --> 00:07:18,348 but I think it's because I haven't given him enough shit work. 174 00:07:18,359 --> 00:07:19,940 You know what it's like with familiars. 175 00:07:19,951 --> 00:07:22,625 If you don't give them enough shit work, then they have too much time 176 00:07:22,636 --> 00:07:25,257 to contemplate their own pathetic existences. 177 00:07:25,268 --> 00:07:27,003 I think it might be something else. 178 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:30,449 I have a theory, but I could just be imagining things. 179 00:07:30,864 --> 00:07:32,910 [GUILLERMO] I don't understand what's taking so long. 180 00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:34,745 How long did it take when you were made into a vampire 181 00:07:34,756 --> 00:07:37,423 to fully, you know, become a vampire? 182 00:07:37,434 --> 00:07:39,269 For me it was, like, six to eight hours, 183 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,249 but as with all things, your mileage may vary. 184 00:07:42,260 --> 00:07:44,255 It's been three weeks. Why am I not a vampire? 185 00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:45,990 - I should be a vampire by now. - Maybe you are one, 186 00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:47,369 and you just don't realize it. 187 00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:49,306 Okay, hang on. Have you tried this? 188 00:07:49,317 --> 00:07:51,490 Form of... Microchiroptera. 189 00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:54,608 [SQUEAKING] 190 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,746 [GASPS] 191 00:07:56,666 --> 00:07:58,998 No. I can't do that. If I could do that, I wouldn't be here. 192 00:07:59,009 --> 00:08:01,472 - Have you tried? - Yes, of course, I've tried. 193 00:08:01,803 --> 00:08:03,305 Try now. 194 00:08:04,013 --> 00:08:05,330 Okay. 195 00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:07,742 Bat. 196 00:08:08,577 --> 00:08:11,465 Whoa! That is some freaky shit. 197 00:08:11,476 --> 00:08:12,949 - [MAN] Hey, Derek? - Toilets! 198 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,137 - It's overflowing. - Yeah, um, I've got to... 199 00:08:15,148 --> 00:08:16,815 Hold that thought. 200 00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:18,597 - [MAN] Derek! - Coming! 201 00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:29,118 I think I have everything we need. 202 00:08:29,129 --> 00:08:30,627 For what? 203 00:08:30,638 --> 00:08:32,488 All these troubles you're having... 204 00:08:32,499 --> 00:08:34,855 I hate to say it, but I think it might be... 205 00:08:34,866 --> 00:08:36,235 a hex. 206 00:08:36,596 --> 00:08:38,734 Do you mean, like, a curse? 207 00:08:38,745 --> 00:08:42,306 No, no, curses are just supernatural excuses 208 00:08:42,339 --> 00:08:44,424 people make up for being losers. 209 00:08:44,435 --> 00:08:47,404 Hexes, on the other hand... that's a real thing. 210 00:08:47,482 --> 00:08:50,718 Targeted harassment brought on by your own past actions. 211 00:08:50,729 --> 00:08:53,098 - Right. - Let's just rule it out. 212 00:08:53,109 --> 00:08:55,638 Is there anyone in your life, 213 00:08:55,649 --> 00:08:59,285 current or past, that you have treated unkindly? 214 00:08:59,295 --> 00:09:00,730 - Nope. - No one? 215 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,145 - No. - Never? 216 00:09:02,156 --> 00:09:04,116 - No. - No one? 217 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,395 Nope. 218 00:09:06,282 --> 00:09:08,760 - Oh, that's the way. - Please stop fucking doing that. 219 00:09:08,771 --> 00:09:10,311 - Why? Why? - What's wrong with you? 220 00:09:10,322 --> 00:09:12,983 Hey, hey, hey, hey, boys. 221 00:09:12,994 --> 00:09:14,794 Why don't we just play nice? 222 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,483 No, it's bullshit. 223 00:09:16,494 --> 00:09:20,063 That's a fucking eight-dollar bottle of wine, 224 00:09:20,074 --> 00:09:21,608 and he's putting ice in it! 225 00:09:21,619 --> 00:09:24,590 That's what they do in France! 226 00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:27,464 - Come on. Marone. - Easy now, fellows. 227 00:09:27,475 --> 00:09:29,267 Mikey's right. That is what they do in France. 228 00:09:29,305 --> 00:09:32,629 What the fuck do you know from fucking France? 229 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,917 Oh! My cousin is from France. 230 00:09:34,928 --> 00:09:37,745 Your cousin is from fucking Quebec! 231 00:09:37,756 --> 00:09:40,191 - How dare you. - But I'm right, ain't I? 232 00:09:40,202 --> 00:09:41,914 - Ain't I? Huh? - Quit doing the fucking chin thing. 233 00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:43,190 - Fuck you. - Get the fuck out of... 234 00:09:43,201 --> 00:09:44,338 - [CLAMORING] - [WOMAN] Hey... stop it! 235 00:09:44,349 --> 00:09:45,749 [LASZLO LAUGHS] 236 00:09:45,782 --> 00:09:47,350 - Stop it! - Shouldn't we, uh...? 237 00:09:47,361 --> 00:09:49,035 No, I think let them just carry on. 238 00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:51,334 - They're having a great time. - [MIKEY] You know, I think 239 00:09:51,345 --> 00:09:53,064 Céline Dion is from Quebec. 240 00:09:53,075 --> 00:09:54,483 - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] - [LASZLO] Céline who? 241 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:55,756 Céline Dion. 242 00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:57,000 I don't know who she is. 243 00:09:57,011 --> 00:09:59,965 - Vegas showgirl, singer type. - Is she good? 244 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:02,193 Fucking bring it! 245 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,517 - [WOMAN SHRIEKS] - Fuck you! 246 00:10:04,528 --> 00:10:06,330 - That's not good. - No it's not. 247 00:10:06,341 --> 00:10:07,546 That's not good at all. 248 00:10:07,557 --> 00:10:09,692 All right, nothing to see here, everyone. 249 00:10:09,703 --> 00:10:11,839 - Maybe we should, uh, skedaddle. - Yeah. 250 00:10:11,850 --> 00:10:13,929 - Whoops. - You really got me. 251 00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:16,107 - Oh. - Sorry for the ruckus, Jimmy. 252 00:10:16,118 --> 00:10:18,122 - [WOMAN] Not my name. - We'll get this cleaned up 253 00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:19,832 and squared away in no time. 254 00:10:19,843 --> 00:10:21,871 I think she's calling the police. 255 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,638 Why don't you hypnotize them, Nandor? You're so fond of that. 256 00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:26,566 I don't think that will be necessary. 257 00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:28,700 Maybe you fellas should apologize to Jimmy. 258 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,044 - Not my name. - [SEAN] Sorry, Jimmy. 259 00:10:30,055 --> 00:10:31,844 - And offer to pay for the window. - Yo! 260 00:10:31,855 --> 00:10:33,444 - Shit. - Who the fuck's 261 00:10:33,455 --> 00:10:35,240 - this bonanza? - Oh, go, go, go! 262 00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:37,906 - What's going on here, fellas? - Officer, thank goodness. 263 00:10:37,917 --> 00:10:39,786 This window... it exploded, 264 00:10:39,797 --> 00:10:42,465 and it nearly blew the asses off these guys. 265 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:45,444 - What guys? - These guys. The, uh... 266 00:10:46,047 --> 00:10:47,563 - Uh... - You need some help? 267 00:10:47,573 --> 00:10:48,927 [NANDOR] No, I got this. 268 00:10:48,938 --> 00:10:51,309 There were these guys. This much we know. 269 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,624 But there was also this window, 270 00:10:53,635 --> 00:10:55,281 - and the, uh... - Mikey? 271 00:10:55,292 --> 00:10:58,421 - I... - Oh, fuck off, Terry. It was an accident. 272 00:10:58,432 --> 00:11:00,733 Whatever, Mikey. I'm filing a report. 273 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,463 Hold on there. Do you two fellas know each other? 274 00:11:03,474 --> 00:11:05,018 Yeah, Terry, Seany, 275 00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:06,654 Frank and I... we all went to high school together. 276 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:09,901 Oh, so this is Terry? These fellas... they speak 277 00:11:09,912 --> 00:11:11,127 very highly of you. 278 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:15,210 - This guy? Get the fuck out of here. - No. It's absolutely true. 279 00:11:15,221 --> 00:11:17,097 I've waited a long time 280 00:11:17,108 --> 00:11:20,062 to meet the world-famous Terry from high school. 281 00:11:20,073 --> 00:11:22,219 And now I have, and I'll tell you something. 282 00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:23,912 I'm not disappointed. 283 00:11:23,923 --> 00:11:24,923 - For real? - Oh, yes. 284 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,156 - Shit. That's good. - Just a bit of charm. 285 00:11:27,167 --> 00:11:28,341 And I'll wager 286 00:11:28,352 --> 00:11:30,486 not many constables could think of a creative way out 287 00:11:30,519 --> 00:11:32,292 of this particular predicament, 288 00:11:32,303 --> 00:11:34,556 and that's because they're not Terry. 289 00:11:34,830 --> 00:11:37,491 [BOTH LAUGHING] 290 00:11:38,039 --> 00:11:39,668 Sean, I don't know what you're doing down there, 291 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,515 but it doesn't look like a good idea. 292 00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,766 Hey, Terry, see you next fall. 293 00:11:43,777 --> 00:11:45,258 - Come on, book it. Let's go. - Shit. 294 00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:47,214 - All right. - Eat shit and die, Terry. 295 00:11:47,225 --> 00:11:48,365 - [SIREN WAILING] - [LAUGHING] 296 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,698 [NANDOR] Where did you get those chains? 297 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,530 - From the car. - What car? 298 00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:52,547 - Right over here! - Here. 299 00:11:52,558 --> 00:11:55,492 Get in, losers! We're going shopping! 300 00:11:55,503 --> 00:11:58,042 No, no, no, no, no, don't steal my car! 301 00:11:58,053 --> 00:12:00,595 You stole my car back in school! 302 00:12:00,606 --> 00:12:02,150 You sold me that piece of shit! 303 00:12:02,161 --> 00:12:04,713 - Drive on, motherfuckers. - [HORN HONKING] 304 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,378 - [TIRES SCREECHING] - [SIREN WAILING] 305 00:12:07,544 --> 00:12:09,646 [HORN BLARING] 306 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:12,181 [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] 307 00:12:12,389 --> 00:12:14,010 [SEAN] [OVER MEGAPHONE] Eat shit, Terry! 308 00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:15,989 [LAUGHTER OVER MEGAPHONE] 309 00:12:20,344 --> 00:12:21,626 Am I needed for this bit, 310 00:12:21,637 --> 00:12:23,331 or can I just take a nap while you do your... 311 00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:24,676 Shh! Honestly. 312 00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:26,875 It's this way? 313 00:12:26,886 --> 00:12:29,293 Is it this way? I'm listening. 314 00:12:29,508 --> 00:12:30,727 No, no. Oh. 315 00:12:30,761 --> 00:12:32,461 Oh, oh, oh, oh. 316 00:12:32,588 --> 00:12:35,423 It's here. [GASPS LOUDLY, YELLS] 317 00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:37,852 [GASPS] 318 00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:40,589 - Is this yours? - No, 319 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,902 but, no, I know this woman. 320 00:12:42,913 --> 00:12:45,688 This is Yiaya Neikia. In Antipaxos, 321 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,733 this is a very bad-luck woman. 322 00:12:47,744 --> 00:12:49,647 A real shit-stirrer. 323 00:12:49,658 --> 00:12:52,281 How did this get here? 324 00:12:52,588 --> 00:12:55,478 [BLOWS] That ought to do it. 325 00:12:55,489 --> 00:12:56,690 [GUIDE CLEARS THROAT] 326 00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:58,171 Oh, my. 327 00:12:59,324 --> 00:13:00,600 What?! 328 00:13:00,611 --> 00:13:03,392 - Oh. - This shriveled bitch! 329 00:13:03,403 --> 00:13:05,296 [RIPPING PHOTO] 330 00:13:06,444 --> 00:13:08,920 Now that really ought to do it. [LAUGHS] 331 00:13:08,931 --> 00:13:10,827 Um... 332 00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,312 - Oh, my... - [NADJA] What?! 333 00:13:13,323 --> 00:13:14,523 [PANTING] 334 00:13:16,817 --> 00:13:18,918 Ew-kay. [CHUCKLES] 335 00:13:19,026 --> 00:13:22,403 This is a little bit really bad, isn't it? 336 00:13:29,859 --> 00:13:31,401 [LAZLO] Didn't feel a thing. 337 00:13:31,412 --> 00:13:33,296 [SEAN] Think I went out of bounds. 338 00:13:33,307 --> 00:13:35,619 - [COUGHING] - Jesus. 339 00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:36,805 [SEAN] Everybody good? 340 00:13:36,838 --> 00:13:39,473 - Holy shit. - Hey, look, I didn't even spill my wine. 341 00:13:39,484 --> 00:13:42,786 - Nice. - That was some GTA5 shit. 342 00:13:42,797 --> 00:13:44,811 Yo, yo, Mikey, Mikey, you got a little cut. 343 00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:46,478 That's gonna be a good scar in the morning. 344 00:13:46,511 --> 00:13:48,468 - Yeah. Go ahead. - [LASZLO] Say, boys. 345 00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,002 I've got a great idea. 346 00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:52,782 What say we... call it a night? 347 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,517 [NANDOR] Laszlo makes a good point. Maybe we should all just 348 00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:58,565 - go home and go to bed? - [MIKEY] Oh! Look what I found! 349 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,120 - Look what I found. - ALL: Oh! 350 00:14:00,153 --> 00:14:02,692 - Nice! - Breaker 1-9, Breaker 1-9. 351 00:14:02,703 --> 00:14:04,022 This is Rubber Duck. 352 00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:05,753 - That's a good reference. - Yeah. 353 00:14:05,764 --> 00:14:07,161 - 10-4, yeah. - [FRANK] That's nothing. 354 00:14:07,172 --> 00:14:08,381 Look what I found. 355 00:14:08,392 --> 00:14:09,691 - Whoa. - [LAUGHS] 356 00:14:09,702 --> 00:14:11,217 [LASZLO] Why don't you put that back in the car? 357 00:14:11,228 --> 00:14:12,309 [SEAN] Laz is right. 358 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,193 We got to tell Terry about that. 359 00:14:14,204 --> 00:14:16,131 Cop's not supposed to lose his gun. 360 00:14:16,142 --> 00:14:18,274 It's real bad. I saw it in a movie once. 361 00:14:18,285 --> 00:14:19,889 Yeah, we should leave the gun, 362 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,874 - go home and go to bed. - [SEAN] Empty the bullets, dipshit. 363 00:14:22,885 --> 00:14:24,739 You know, that's a felony... to have a loaded weapon? 364 00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:27,187 - [GUNSHOTS] - [CLAMORING] 365 00:14:27,506 --> 00:14:29,599 - Very loud. - What the fuck are you doing? 366 00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:31,122 You told me to get rid of the bullets. 367 00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:33,682 - I said, empty the clip! - That's what I'm doing! 368 00:14:34,104 --> 00:14:36,615 - [SIREN WAILING] - See? Now it's empty, 369 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,722 - idiot. - [SEAN] Oh, shit. Terry snitched. 370 00:14:38,733 --> 00:14:40,699 - Oh. Shit. - We got to hit the bricks. 371 00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:43,483 Go, go, go. Come on, boys, let's go! 372 00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,385 [SIREN WAILING] 373 00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:48,086 You're not coming? 374 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,046 Well, if you want to be a coward, Nandor. 375 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,743 - [COP] Freeze! - [COP 2] Put your hands up. 376 00:14:51,754 --> 00:14:53,646 - Hands where we can see them. - Uh, no, not really. I just thought maybe 377 00:14:53,657 --> 00:14:55,069 it's what you wanted to do. Hi. 378 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,387 - Shit. There's a lot of them. - Stay there, stay there. 379 00:14:56,398 --> 00:14:58,245 - Evening. - Evening, gentlemen. 380 00:14:58,256 --> 00:14:59,550 I'm sure you're wondering 381 00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:01,985 what are those two chaps doing with one of our cars? 382 00:15:01,996 --> 00:15:03,753 Firstly, there were these guys. 383 00:15:03,764 --> 00:15:05,276 - Ah. - This much we know. 384 00:15:05,287 --> 00:15:08,166 But, also, there was this window. 385 00:15:09,106 --> 00:15:10,444 Uh... 386 00:15:10,455 --> 00:15:12,860 - Nandor, would you mind if I dealt with this? - Would you? 387 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,579 Now, tell me something, fellas. 388 00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:18,529 Is it true what they say about Staten Island policemen? 389 00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,508 - [LOCK BUZZES] - [DOOR CLANGS] 390 00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:24,049 - Well. - Well. 391 00:15:24,636 --> 00:15:27,000 - You tried. - Yup. 392 00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:29,180 Not one of my finest moments. 393 00:15:29,217 --> 00:15:30,754 I think this could be a situation 394 00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,482 where hypnosis is warranted. 395 00:15:32,955 --> 00:15:34,723 I think you're right. 396 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,805 Go ahead. 397 00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:39,843 No, well, you see, there's a problem there. 398 00:15:39,854 --> 00:15:41,689 Um... 399 00:15:42,249 --> 00:15:44,017 I'm not very good at hypnosis. 400 00:15:45,046 --> 00:15:47,685 - Sorry. I didn't catch that. - I said, I'm not very good at hypnosis. 401 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:50,885 I never have been good at it, and I don't think I ever will be. 402 00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:53,184 - Nonsense. - Well, it's not. 403 00:15:53,195 --> 00:15:56,297 I mean, I can hypnotize Sean, but only with your help. 404 00:15:56,882 --> 00:15:58,850 And only 'cause his brain's fucked. 405 00:15:58,861 --> 00:16:02,689 I should also admit that I've been envious of your skills, 406 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,738 which I think is the reason why I take the piss out of you. 407 00:16:06,311 --> 00:16:08,280 Much as it pains me to say this, 408 00:16:08,415 --> 00:16:10,342 if anyone can get us out of this situation, Nandor, 409 00:16:10,375 --> 00:16:12,212 I think it will be you. 410 00:16:13,382 --> 00:16:14,883 Okay, then. 411 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,581 I will fix. 412 00:16:18,239 --> 00:16:19,901 Guards! 413 00:16:22,510 --> 00:16:26,417 [NADJA] So... I am hexed, which... is not great. 414 00:16:26,428 --> 00:16:29,120 There is writing on the hex picture, 415 00:16:29,131 --> 00:16:30,999 but I haven't read the Antipaxon language 416 00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:32,511 in hundreds of years, so... 417 00:16:32,522 --> 00:16:34,191 [SPEAKING GREEK] 418 00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:35,909 [STAMMERING] 419 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,430 I am a little bit rusty. [LAUGHS] 420 00:16:38,441 --> 00:16:40,602 Could you maybe help translate this picture 421 00:16:40,629 --> 00:16:43,085 - using your gray box? - Sure. 422 00:16:43,096 --> 00:16:44,465 [NADJA] So I had to get Colin Robinson 423 00:16:44,498 --> 00:16:46,562 to help me translate on his computer machine. 424 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:49,724 And he told me something, which, quite frankly, 425 00:16:49,735 --> 00:16:51,723 blew my mind apart. 426 00:16:51,734 --> 00:16:54,142 Or you could just walk down to Little Antipaxos 427 00:16:54,153 --> 00:16:56,275 and have someone translate it for you. 428 00:16:56,286 --> 00:16:59,710 Wh-Which? There is a Little Antipaxos? What? 429 00:16:59,721 --> 00:17:03,144 Oh, yeah, not too far from here, just above Little Italy. 430 00:17:03,177 --> 00:17:06,097 That's the great melting pot of America for you. 431 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,600 - The broad mosaic. - No, no, shut up. 432 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,789 Are you saying there is a Little Antipaxos 433 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,502 right here on Staten Island? 434 00:17:12,513 --> 00:17:16,741 It's only, like, a four-block-by-two-block area, but it's there. 435 00:17:16,752 --> 00:17:17,767 [LAUGHS] 436 00:17:18,034 --> 00:17:20,322 ♪ ♪ 437 00:17:20,355 --> 00:17:23,524 [SPEAKING GREEK] 438 00:17:24,341 --> 00:17:26,660 So much cheap crap and old fish. 439 00:17:26,983 --> 00:17:29,806 It's like looking out the window of my childhood home. 440 00:17:29,817 --> 00:17:31,529 There is, in Staten Island, 441 00:17:31,563 --> 00:17:34,907 a neighborhood known as "Little Antipaxos"! 442 00:17:34,918 --> 00:17:35,967 [SPEAKING GREEK] 443 00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:37,606 It is where all the Antipaxons 444 00:17:37,617 --> 00:17:39,586 who come to America work and live 445 00:17:39,597 --> 00:17:40,891 and laugh and love. 446 00:17:40,902 --> 00:17:41,905 I'm Nadja. 447 00:17:41,916 --> 00:17:44,684 [SPEAKS GREEK] 448 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,846 Three for joy. 449 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,230 Look! This is the beach of Voutoumi! 450 00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:52,273 I tried to lose my virginity here so many times. 451 00:17:52,284 --> 00:17:54,218 Souvlaki. Stifado! 452 00:17:54,229 --> 00:17:55,964 The food of my youth! 453 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,873 Of course the Greeks stole it from us, 454 00:17:57,884 --> 00:17:59,090 and claimed it as their own, 455 00:17:59,101 --> 00:18:00,559 but the real heads know 456 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:03,903 - that it originally came from Antipaxos. - [BOTH SPEAK GREEK] 457 00:18:03,914 --> 00:18:07,114 I mean, it would be wrong not to just try a little bit. 458 00:18:08,486 --> 00:18:09,513 Mmm. 459 00:18:09,524 --> 00:18:12,639 [LOUD RETCHING] 460 00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:14,885 [GURGLES, COUGHS] 461 00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:16,133 So worth it. 462 00:18:16,144 --> 00:18:17,476 You can still sell that, I think. 463 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:18,554 [LAUGHS] Thank you. 464 00:18:18,648 --> 00:18:21,016 Oh, this place. [SNIFFS] 465 00:18:22,178 --> 00:18:24,268 - [GRUNTS] - How fucking long have we lived here, 466 00:18:24,278 --> 00:18:25,656 and you never thought to tell me 467 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,516 there was a Little Antipaxos neighborhood, 468 00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:29,362 like, half a mile from our house?! 469 00:18:29,373 --> 00:18:30,540 You never asked. 470 00:18:30,551 --> 00:18:32,237 [SPEAKS GREEK] 471 00:18:33,898 --> 00:18:35,113 Oh, look. 472 00:18:35,124 --> 00:18:38,277 A shitty diner just like my theía used to run. 473 00:18:38,288 --> 00:18:39,809 Come on. 474 00:18:39,989 --> 00:18:42,246 [WOMAN SPEAKING GREEK] 475 00:18:42,763 --> 00:18:45,826 [LAUGHTER] 476 00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:49,743 - [LAUGHTER] - [SPEAKING GREEK] 477 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,455 What did he say? What did he say? 478 00:18:51,466 --> 00:18:53,735 It is an Antipaxon thing. 479 00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:57,682 [SPEAKING GREEK] 480 00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:00,895 - What does the writing say? - Oh, um, 481 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,422 she says it says, "A simple act 482 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:06,135 "of kindness, compassion and friendship 483 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,382 will remove the hexes that is on top of your head." 484 00:19:09,393 --> 00:19:10,685 [SPEAKING GREEK] 485 00:19:10,715 --> 00:19:12,966 Starting now, this a new me. 486 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:16,480 Kind, welcoming, inclusive, sensitive 487 00:19:16,491 --> 00:19:18,130 to the feelings of others. 488 00:19:18,141 --> 00:19:19,442 [LAUGHTER] 489 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:20,843 What, what? 490 00:19:20,854 --> 00:19:22,146 Oh, it's very complicated. 491 00:19:22,157 --> 00:19:23,889 I-I don't think you can understand. 492 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:25,968 [NADJA LAUGHS] 493 00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:29,395 [OWL HOOTING] 494 00:19:29,406 --> 00:19:34,043 No, I cannot say I have heard of this before. 495 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:36,796 - This fellow you speak of. - Derek. Derek's friend. 496 00:19:36,807 --> 00:19:37,897 - [DEREK] Uh, you wouldn't have met him. - Yeah, 497 00:19:37,908 --> 00:19:40,119 - because he lives in Canada. - Yes. 498 00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:44,718 Ah. So, he was turned into a vampire 499 00:19:44,729 --> 00:19:48,358 by a vampire, but does not yet seem 500 00:19:48,369 --> 00:19:50,503 to be a vampire? 501 00:19:50,514 --> 00:19:52,056 Yeah, that's about the size of it, yeah. 502 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:54,041 But, um, does that happen? 503 00:19:54,052 --> 00:19:55,396 Uh... uh... 504 00:19:55,407 --> 00:19:58,242 [SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE] 505 00:20:02,304 --> 00:20:04,172 [SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE] 506 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,805 Neither of us have ever heard of such a thing. 507 00:20:09,816 --> 00:20:11,492 - Mm. - Mm. Okay. 508 00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:13,138 [SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE] 509 00:20:17,121 --> 00:20:19,976 Oh. Could work, I suppose. 510 00:20:19,987 --> 00:20:21,621 - What could work? - He says maybe 511 00:20:21,632 --> 00:20:25,558 repeat the turning process with a different vampire. 512 00:20:25,569 --> 00:20:29,119 Of course, that could make your friend a vampire-and-a-half 513 00:20:29,130 --> 00:20:30,532 or a double vampire, 514 00:20:30,543 --> 00:20:32,606 but who gives a shit? I don't know this freak. 515 00:20:32,617 --> 00:20:35,701 [LAUGHTER] 516 00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:38,515 Let us see what happens when you turn a vampire twice. 517 00:20:38,801 --> 00:20:40,915 Jonathan is my neighbor. 518 00:20:40,926 --> 00:20:43,094 He used to run his leaf blower 519 00:20:43,105 --> 00:20:45,540 all the day long while I was trying to sleep. 520 00:20:45,551 --> 00:20:48,029 So, I turned him into a vampire, and now we're all good. 521 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,973 - My Liege. - Oh. 522 00:20:49,984 --> 00:20:54,672 How sweet. Arise, Jonathan. We need your help. 523 00:20:54,683 --> 00:20:58,185 - Your wish is my command, My Liege. - Oh. Boop. 524 00:20:58,783 --> 00:21:03,708 Okay, so since I already turned Jonathan, 525 00:21:03,719 --> 00:21:06,288 I guess, uh... Yes, Derek, is it? 526 00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,708 - Uh, yes, sir. - Right. 527 00:21:07,719 --> 00:21:11,419 Bite Jonathan and drink some of his blood. Mm. 528 00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:14,700 - Okay, um... Hi. Uh, Derek. - Mm. Mm. 529 00:21:14,711 --> 00:21:18,269 - Just gonna... - Very good. 530 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:22,087 Now Jonathan, have a taste of Derek's blood. 531 00:21:22,098 --> 00:21:26,048 - Ah, okay. - [SUCKING] 532 00:21:26,059 --> 00:21:27,927 Very nice. Thank you, gentlemen. 533 00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:31,420 So... did it work? 534 00:21:31,431 --> 00:21:34,128 Ah, how are you feeling, Jonathan? 535 00:21:34,139 --> 00:21:35,930 - Uh, I feel fine. - Ah. 536 00:21:35,941 --> 00:21:38,011 I'm a little aggravated because the motor 537 00:21:38,022 --> 00:21:39,824 in this here edge trimmer keeps conking... 538 00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:48,049 So, at least now we know one way that does not work. 539 00:21:48,083 --> 00:21:49,883 [DEREK] Huh. 540 00:21:55,121 --> 00:21:57,853 [SEAN] They really just gonna let us walk out of here? 541 00:21:57,864 --> 00:22:00,189 How'd you pull that one off, Laz? 542 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,110 Actually, Sean, it was I who, um... 543 00:22:03,343 --> 00:22:06,481 At ease. It was I who convinced 544 00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,830 your good friend Laszlo 545 00:22:08,841 --> 00:22:11,424 to, uh, use his notorious charm. 546 00:22:11,435 --> 00:22:12,667 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 547 00:22:12,678 --> 00:22:14,098 Between us, Nandor, 548 00:22:14,109 --> 00:22:16,375 what did you say to them back there? 549 00:22:16,386 --> 00:22:19,393 I just said that we had solved all the crimes 550 00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:22,007 that Sean and his pals had committed. 551 00:22:22,018 --> 00:22:24,410 And, also, I got them to give their friend Terry 552 00:22:24,421 --> 00:22:26,424 - a little promotion. - Oh, really? Great. 553 00:22:26,435 --> 00:22:29,138 And, just for funsies, I told them 554 00:22:29,149 --> 00:22:31,818 that I was Captain Sully Sullenberger, 555 00:22:31,829 --> 00:22:35,010 and you were the gentleman with the moustache 556 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,849 in that cop show that you like. 557 00:22:36,860 --> 00:22:38,443 Thomas Selleck in Blue Bloods? 558 00:22:38,454 --> 00:22:39,956 - That's it! - Good move. 559 00:22:39,967 --> 00:22:41,686 - Look. There's Terry. - [NANDOR] Hi, Terry. 560 00:22:41,697 --> 00:22:44,820 - Terry! Captain Dumbfuck. - [LASZLO] Well done, Nandor. 561 00:22:44,854 --> 00:22:47,105 [SEAN] Reporting for duty. [SNORTS] 562 00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:49,551 [COLIN] I think I'll just have the tak... 563 00:22:49,562 --> 00:22:51,666 - Tak... tak... - Tzat... tzatziki. 564 00:22:51,677 --> 00:22:53,352 - I'll get it. Tack... - Tzat... 565 00:22:53,363 --> 00:22:57,666 Tacky. Tacky. Uh, but without the, uh, yogurt. 566 00:22:57,677 --> 00:23:01,180 [SIRENS CHIRPING] 567 00:23:01,851 --> 00:23:03,819 [TIRES SCREECHING] 568 00:23:05,362 --> 00:23:10,365 Halt! 569 00:23:10,538 --> 00:23:12,039 That was great. 570 00:23:14,807 --> 00:23:16,708 [CLEARS THROAT] 571 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:18,374 At ease. 572 00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:21,905 - At ease. At ease. - Ah. There he is. 573 00:23:21,916 --> 00:23:23,147 At ease. 574 00:23:23,180 --> 00:23:24,948 - At ease. At ease. - Hold on. 575 00:23:24,981 --> 00:23:26,239 No, no, no, I'm with them. I'm with them. 576 00:23:26,249 --> 00:23:28,016 Gizmo, I need a word with you. 577 00:23:28,211 --> 00:23:29,686 - Okay. - Coppers, fuck off. 578 00:23:29,697 --> 00:23:31,965 Yes, sir! Thank you, Mr. Selleck! 579 00:23:31,976 --> 00:23:34,193 I think it's about time you came clean. 580 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,787 - About what? - Well, the others aren't as observant as I am. 581 00:23:37,798 --> 00:23:39,632 But you've been off recently. 582 00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:41,118 And I've been watching you. 583 00:23:42,460 --> 00:23:44,027 - Uh-huh. - Yeah. 584 00:23:44,179 --> 00:23:46,429 I think we got a bit of a problem, Gizmo. 585 00:23:46,679 --> 00:23:48,406 The longer you keep it a secret, 586 00:23:48,417 --> 00:23:50,489 it's gonna remain a problem. 587 00:23:51,659 --> 00:23:53,526 I felt like I had no other choice, okay? 588 00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:56,164 I mean, Nandor's been promising to make me a vampire 589 00:23:56,175 --> 00:23:57,925 for 12 years, and it's never come true, all right? 590 00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:00,272 So, like, Derek, he was right there, he's a vampire, 591 00:24:00,283 --> 00:24:01,543 - so of course I was gonna take... Yeah. - Whoa, whoa. 592 00:24:01,554 --> 00:24:03,897 I asked Derek to make me into a vampire, but I regretted it 593 00:24:03,908 --> 00:24:06,245 - the second it happened because... - What the fuck? 594 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:08,677 - I thought you said you figured it out. - No! 595 00:24:08,688 --> 00:24:10,616 I just thought you had the shits. 596 00:24:10,627 --> 00:24:13,203 I was gonna tell you to steer clear of the breakfast burritos. 597 00:24:13,214 --> 00:24:15,349 Too much of the chilaquiles. 598 00:24:15,613 --> 00:24:17,636 You let someone, who isn't your master, 599 00:24:17,647 --> 00:24:19,253 turn you into a vampire? 600 00:24:19,318 --> 00:24:21,598 - You fucking idiot. - I know, okay, I know. 601 00:24:21,609 --> 00:24:23,443 And it seems to be taking forever to take full effect. 602 00:24:23,454 --> 00:24:26,178 And I don't know what to do, okay? So please, please don't tell Nandor. 603 00:24:26,189 --> 00:24:27,757 Tell Nandor? 604 00:24:27,768 --> 00:24:30,993 This is the greatest humiliation for any vampire. 605 00:24:31,419 --> 00:24:33,773 I don't know if he would even survive it. 606 00:24:36,841 --> 00:24:38,276 All right, I've got an idea. 607 00:24:38,287 --> 00:24:39,999 But you've got to do exactly what I tell you. 608 00:24:40,032 --> 00:24:41,812 Okay, yes, of course. 609 00:24:41,823 --> 00:24:43,531 Despite the fact that you've already been bitten 610 00:24:43,542 --> 00:24:45,938 by a vampire, I could persuade 611 00:24:45,949 --> 00:24:48,119 Nandor to bite you again. 612 00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:50,371 No one'd be any the wiser. 613 00:24:52,967 --> 00:24:54,356 I don't think that's gonna work. 614 00:24:54,367 --> 00:24:55,772 You don't? 615 00:24:56,476 --> 00:24:58,411 Well, then you're fucked. 616 00:24:59,074 --> 00:25:00,302 ["HEY! [I'M DEAD]" by Jank Sinatra playing] 617 00:25:00,313 --> 00:25:03,303 ♪ I just went to a funeral ♪ 618 00:25:03,842 --> 00:25:06,881 ♪ I just said my goodbyes ♪ 619 00:25:07,351 --> 00:25:10,252 ♪ I just felt the cold hand of death ♪ 620 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,421 ♪ Pass before my eyes ♪ 621 00:25:14,369 --> 00:25:16,004 [WOMAN SHRIEKS] 622 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,858 - ♪ Yeah, he's dead ♪ - ♪ He is dead ♪ 623 00:25:18,891 --> 00:25:20,759 ♪ He's dead, Granny ♪ 624 00:25:20,792 --> 00:25:22,394 - ♪ He's dead ♪ - ♪ Dead ♪ 625 00:25:22,427 --> 00:25:24,012 - ♪ He's dead now ♪ - ♪ Oh, he's dead ♪ 626 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:26,125 ♪ I'm in the oxygen you breathe ♪ 627 00:25:26,297 --> 00:25:29,132 ♪ And I'm in the cayenne on your sleeve ♪ 628 00:25:29,165 --> 00:25:31,800 ♪ I'm on the outside and the inside ♪ 629 00:25:31,811 --> 00:25:33,946 ♪ At the same time ♪ 630 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,837 ♪ I'm in the sunshine on your face ♪ 631 00:25:36,848 --> 00:25:39,488 ♪ I'm in a very funky place ♪ 632 00:25:39,499 --> 00:25:43,655 ♪ I'm in a dead dog's brain, rotting on the highway line ♪ 633 00:25:43,710 --> 00:25:45,143 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh. ♪ 634 00:25:45,176 --> 00:25:46,994 [WOMAN SHRIEKS] 635 00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:52,343 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com - 44138

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