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1
00:00:04,096 --> 00:00:08,601
Steven, why is there lingerie
behind my canned goods?
2
00:00:10,102 --> 00:00:12,564
Oh, sorry, that's Sam's.
3
00:00:12,605 --> 00:00:14,500
Before we split up, our
love life got a little boring
4
00:00:14,524 --> 00:00:16,776
so we decided to branch out
and try some new locations.
5
00:00:18,611 --> 00:00:21,280
By the way,
this is a good, sturdy table.
6
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,951
Oh, Steven!
7
00:00:27,537 --> 00:00:29,330
Good morning.
8
00:00:29,372 --> 00:00:31,499
Hi, Red. You're up early.
9
00:00:31,541 --> 00:00:34,419
You're retired.
You should be sleeping in.
10
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:37,714
Yeah, well, I was awoken
by the pleasant sound of birds
11
00:00:37,756 --> 00:00:40,174
chirping outside my window.
12
00:00:40,216 --> 00:00:43,344
And now that I don't have to work,
I finally have time to poison them.
13
00:00:45,304 --> 00:00:47,974
I feed those birds bread
every day.
14
00:00:48,016 --> 00:00:49,308
Good. That'll make it easier.
15
00:00:51,436 --> 00:00:54,731
Red, I don't think you have
embraced retirement yet.
16
00:00:54,773 --> 00:00:56,942
What you need to do
is get yourself a robe,
17
00:00:56,983 --> 00:00:59,110
go sit out on the porch,
then shake your fists
18
00:00:59,151 --> 00:01:01,112
and yell stuff like,
"Dagnabit! Why I ought to..."
19
00:01:02,405 --> 00:01:05,116
I have to say,
I looked forward to retirement
20
00:01:05,157 --> 00:01:08,745
as much as I looked forward
to playing catch with my son.
21
00:01:08,787 --> 00:01:11,122
And both of them have left me
bitterly disappointed.
22
00:01:13,165 --> 00:01:16,878
Well, you know,
we could take a trip.
23
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,547
When Amy O'Brian's
husband retired,
24
00:01:19,589 --> 00:01:22,717
they went to see the nutcracker
museum in Rhode Island.
25
00:01:22,759 --> 00:01:24,928
We don't have to go
anywhere that fancy,
26
00:01:24,970 --> 00:01:29,474
but there is that cave in West
Virginia I've been wanting to see.
27
00:01:29,515 --> 00:01:31,619
That's a good idea, Red.
You and Kitty you should travel.
28
00:01:31,643 --> 00:01:32,852
You know, see the world.
29
00:01:32,894 --> 00:01:35,229
I saw the world when I was
in the Navy. It shot at me.
30
00:01:37,189 --> 00:01:40,944
I don't know. West Virginia is
supposed to be pretty nice.
31
00:01:42,194 --> 00:01:45,073
It is the Ohio of
the Atlantic states.
32
00:01:47,199 --> 00:01:48,576
Well, if you need
something to do,
33
00:01:48,618 --> 00:01:50,996
you can always come down
to help me at the record store.
34
00:01:51,037 --> 00:01:53,498
There's a light switch
that keeps shocking people.
35
00:01:53,539 --> 00:01:57,877
Although on the upside, the jolts
seem to be making Leo remember stuff.
36
00:01:57,919 --> 00:02:01,589
Yeah, sure, I'll help you out. It'll
be good to get out of the house.
37
00:02:01,631 --> 00:02:05,468
If I have to listen to Phil
Donahue, tell one more housewife
38
00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:07,887
that it isn't her fault
that her life is messed up,
39
00:02:07,929 --> 00:02:10,609
I'm going to drive to Chicago and
hit him in the head with a hammer.
40
00:02:16,479 --> 00:02:19,858
Okay, Donna, I have something to
admit to you but it's really embarrassing.
41
00:02:19,899 --> 00:02:21,317
You read a book for pleasure?
42
00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:27,032
Um...
43
00:02:28,658 --> 00:02:30,284
I like Fez.
44
00:02:35,373 --> 00:02:36,624
Wow.
45
00:02:38,835 --> 00:02:41,420
Well, I guess the only
thing I have to say is
46
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,049
I freaking knew it!
47
00:02:44,090 --> 00:02:47,343
Donna! Look, I know I made up
that stupid list to figure out
48
00:02:47,385 --> 00:02:49,846
who my perfect match
should be, and you were right.
49
00:02:49,888 --> 00:02:51,556
It's Fez.
50
00:02:51,597 --> 00:02:54,559
This is one of the biggest
things I've ever heard you say.
51
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,478
I know, I know.
I can't believe I like him.
52
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,105
No, you admitted I was right.
53
00:03:02,817 --> 00:03:04,485
Okay, are you sure you like Fez?
54
00:03:04,527 --> 00:03:06,278
I mean,
55
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,840
think about all the things you've
said about him over the years.
56
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,537
He's a bad... Poor...
Sweaty... Stinky... Crazy...
57
00:03:14,579 --> 00:03:18,083
Sick... Ridiculous...
Foreign... Spazoid... Weirdo.
58
00:03:19,959 --> 00:03:22,795
Okay, all right, Donna.
You busted me.
59
00:03:22,837 --> 00:03:27,550
I like a bad, poor, sweaty, stinky, crazy,
ridiculous, sick, foreign, spazoid weirdo.
60
00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:32,262
Hey, luscious ladies.
61
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,684
Hey, Fez.
62
00:03:36,726 --> 00:03:38,895
Hey, Fez. What's up?
63
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,901
Well, I made up a new way
to play Candyland
64
00:03:44,943 --> 00:03:49,155
where I will eat the appropriate
candy for each square I land on.
65
00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:52,951
So, Jackie, get ready to come home to
a candy-covered, pantsless roommate.
66
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,914
Wait. Why do you have to
take your pants off to play?
67
00:03:59,582 --> 00:04:01,126
You don't know me at all!
68
00:04:07,006 --> 00:04:09,300
There he goes, Jackie.
69
00:04:09,341 --> 00:04:11,302
Your candy-covered,
pantsless Prince Charming.
70
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,517
♪ Hanging out
71
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,313
♪ Down the street
72
00:04:23,815 --> 00:04:25,775
♪ The same old thing
73
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,320
♪ We did last week
74
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:34,033
♪ Not a thing to do
75
00:04:34,909 --> 00:04:38,621
♪ But talk to you
76
00:04:38,663 --> 00:04:40,414
♪ We're all all right
77
00:04:40,456 --> 00:04:43,001
♪ We're all all right ♪
78
00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:45,920
Hello, Wisconsin!
79
00:04:54,804 --> 00:04:56,973
Fez, now that I'm spending
so much time here,
80
00:04:57,015 --> 00:04:58,766
maybe you should get a waterbed.
81
00:04:58,808 --> 00:05:02,353
That way we won't keep
Jackie up with all the squeaking.
82
00:05:03,062 --> 00:05:05,190
Yeah, sorry about that.
83
00:05:05,231 --> 00:05:06,774
I'm a squeaker.
84
00:05:08,651 --> 00:05:11,529
Oh, Donna, I like a squeaker.
85
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:14,734
Well, what am I going to do?
86
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,536
Okay, look.
87
00:05:18,577 --> 00:05:21,622
A few years ago,
I went to see a therapist.
88
00:05:21,664 --> 00:05:24,375
Loser!
89
00:05:24,416 --> 00:05:27,295
My parents were going through
their divorce and it helped.
90
00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:30,089
Not everyone who goes to
a therapist is a loser.
91
00:05:30,131 --> 00:05:33,551
Okay, wait. So, you're saying
this therapist actually helped you?
92
00:05:33,592 --> 00:05:35,178
Yeah.
93
00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,981
Well, he must be pretty good if he
convinced you you're not a loser...
94
00:05:44,436 --> 00:05:46,689
Wow, man. Impressive.
95
00:05:46,731 --> 00:05:49,399
Yeah. Mr. Forman is really
good at fixing stuff.
96
00:05:49,441 --> 00:05:51,986
No, six across. "Impressive."
97
00:05:54,446 --> 00:05:57,407
No, wait, that's
more than three letters.
98
00:06:01,287 --> 00:06:02,412
There you go.
99
00:06:02,454 --> 00:06:04,916
Oh, nice job, Red.
100
00:06:04,957 --> 00:06:08,336
Only problem is now I can
see how dirty everything is.
101
00:06:08,378 --> 00:06:09,670
I got to do
something about that.
102
00:06:11,881 --> 00:06:14,175
There you go.
103
00:06:14,217 --> 00:06:16,802
All right, man, thanks.
Guess I'll see you later.
104
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:20,014
Actually I thought I'd fix
that wobbly chair before I left.
105
00:06:20,056 --> 00:06:21,933
Take a hike, cop-head.
106
00:06:25,311 --> 00:06:27,230
Hey, quiet!
107
00:06:28,064 --> 00:06:29,439
Oh, sorry, it's quilt.
108
00:06:31,109 --> 00:06:32,110
Sorry.
109
00:06:36,364 --> 00:06:39,909
I'm just saying I can't believe
I'm in a therapist's office.
110
00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:42,536
I mean, there is no way I'll
be able to talk for a whole hour.
111
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:49,459
Well, thank you, Dr. Hammond.
112
00:06:52,504 --> 00:06:54,673
You're right.
113
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,551
I am pretty and I am special.
114
00:07:08,146 --> 00:07:09,480
And I am in the wrong office.
115
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,989
Wow, that was a tough hour.
116
00:07:19,073 --> 00:07:20,532
Come on in, girls.
117
00:07:22,243 --> 00:07:24,495
Have a seat, huh. Excuse me.
118
00:07:26,705 --> 00:07:28,540
Hello?
119
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,335
Oh, hello, Helen.
120
00:07:32,378 --> 00:07:35,214
Fine!
I'll heat up my own dinner.
121
00:07:35,256 --> 00:07:39,135
God knows you haven't heated
up anything in our home in months.
122
00:07:40,178 --> 00:07:41,512
But have a great time, huh.
123
00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:50,062
So. Donna,
nice to see you again.
124
00:07:50,104 --> 00:07:51,230
How are your folks?
125
00:07:51,272 --> 00:07:54,525
Oh, you know, still crazy.
126
00:07:54,566 --> 00:07:57,320
You're telling me,
they paid for my watch.
127
00:07:59,989 --> 00:08:01,782
And you must be Jackie.
128
00:08:01,824 --> 00:08:04,952
Yeah. Oh, but before you think
there is anything wrong with me,
129
00:08:04,994 --> 00:08:06,871
you see, I'm only here
because I like this boy
130
00:08:06,912 --> 00:08:09,207
and I don't want
to like him, so...
131
00:08:09,248 --> 00:08:11,101
You know, if you could just
write a prescription for that,
132
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,543
I'll be on my way.
133
00:08:14,586 --> 00:08:17,131
Do you see how messed up she is?
134
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,468
Still eating your cuticles?
135
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:25,973
No.
136
00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:30,936
Jackie, first tell me
about some of the other men
137
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,981
that you had feelings for.
138
00:08:34,023 --> 00:08:38,027
Okay. Well, there's Michael,
who cheated on me.
139
00:08:38,069 --> 00:08:39,862
And then there's Steven,
140
00:08:39,904 --> 00:08:43,491
who would rather vandalize a
car than commit to a relationship.
141
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:44,992
And now there's Fez,
142
00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:48,287
who's been after me for years
and is really very sweet,
143
00:08:48,329 --> 00:08:51,916
but I never paid any attention to
him 'cause, you know, he's foreign.
144
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:55,836
Wow. He seems like a fine man.
145
00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:59,715
Or at least he is now.
146
00:08:59,757 --> 00:09:02,676
Before you get your sadistic
female claws into him
147
00:09:02,718 --> 00:09:05,637
and make him forget
that he is even a man at all.
148
00:09:07,223 --> 00:09:09,141
Okay, well,
none of this matters anyway
149
00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:13,020
because, of course, now that
I like Fez, he has a girlfriend.
150
00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:18,817
Have you ever considered that
you only like unavailable men?
151
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,612
I mean, the others
were emotionally unavailable.
152
00:09:23,781 --> 00:09:27,034
But you weren't interested
in Fez until he was taken.
153
00:09:28,494 --> 00:09:30,079
Wow.
154
00:09:30,121 --> 00:09:31,956
So I don't really like Fez,
155
00:09:31,997 --> 00:09:34,625
I just think I like him
'cause he has a girlfriend?
156
00:09:37,462 --> 00:09:39,213
Do you see how
messed up she is, Doctor?
157
00:09:41,257 --> 00:09:44,343
I mean she's got
some real issues.
158
00:09:44,385 --> 00:09:47,555
I notice you dyed your hair.
159
00:09:47,597 --> 00:09:48,847
What are you running away from?
160
00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:54,019
I just want people to like me!
161
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:58,566
Jackie, just remember
that whoever you end up with,
162
00:09:58,608 --> 00:10:02,027
the key to any relationship
is good communication.
163
00:10:03,821 --> 00:10:05,323
Excuse me.
164
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,533
Hello?
165
00:10:09,327 --> 00:10:10,953
Helen!
166
00:10:10,995 --> 00:10:14,373
I told you I'd move it
as soon as Al can help me.
167
00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:18,752
Well, I wish you had more
upper body strength!
168
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,589
No, you are!
169
00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:24,675
No, you are!
170
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:28,679
Go to hell, you cow!
171
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:36,936
So...
172
00:10:37,563 --> 00:10:38,689
Yes.
173
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,609
Good communication.
174
00:10:43,152 --> 00:10:44,695
That's the key.
175
00:10:57,833 --> 00:10:59,918
Why is the closed
sign on the door?
176
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,546
Oh, Red put that up.
177
00:11:01,587 --> 00:11:03,482
He said I could either have
a closed sign on the door,
178
00:11:03,506 --> 00:11:05,716
or an open sign on my ass.
179
00:11:11,556 --> 00:11:12,740
I should never have asked him
to come down, man.
180
00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:14,724
He is bad for business.
181
00:11:14,766 --> 00:11:16,768
You think that's
bad for business?
182
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,728
I've been stealing
money for months.
183
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,401
Red?
184
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,195
Red!
185
00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:30,157
Hey, man,
why are you working so hard?
186
00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:31,885
You should be enjoying
your retirement, you know.
187
00:11:31,909 --> 00:11:35,120
Yeah, there's still
plenty to do here.
188
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:38,499
The hinge on that office door is
busted, the window needs caulking
189
00:11:38,541 --> 00:11:40,334
and that back room
is such a mess,
190
00:11:40,376 --> 00:11:43,045
you got a bunch of weeds
growing in there.
191
00:11:53,138 --> 00:11:55,116
Look, man, why don't you
just call it a day, you know?
192
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,766
You're retired, it's 2:00.
193
00:11:56,808 --> 00:11:58,603
Hey, it's almost dinner time.
194
00:12:02,398 --> 00:12:03,773
Are you kicking me out?
195
00:12:04,358 --> 00:12:06,235
No. You know...
196
00:12:08,446 --> 00:12:09,488
Yeah.
197
00:12:10,906 --> 00:12:13,659
Look, why...
Why don't you just go home.
198
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,786
I don't believe this!
199
00:12:21,292 --> 00:12:23,294
He seemed mad.
200
00:12:23,335 --> 00:12:25,015
Good thing you never have to
see him again.
201
00:12:27,839 --> 00:12:29,216
Uh-oh!
202
00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:35,805
Fez! Great news!
203
00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:39,184
I have an opportunity to do something
that is going to make me incredibly happy.
204
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:41,353
- Oh, that is wonderful!
- I'm going to become a nun!
205
00:12:41,395 --> 00:12:42,605
You selfish whore!
206
00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:47,234
Listen,
I join the convent next week.
207
00:12:47,276 --> 00:12:49,570
So, I'm sorry.
208
00:12:49,612 --> 00:12:54,492
But, if it makes you feel any better,
you're the last man to ever touch me.
209
00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:56,786
Unless, I meet someone in
Italy before I take my vows.
210
00:12:57,286 --> 00:12:58,287
See you.
211
00:13:03,584 --> 00:13:05,294
Hey, Fez. What's going on?
212
00:13:06,462 --> 00:13:07,588
Hilary broke up with me.
213
00:13:08,506 --> 00:13:09,548
Oh, my God.
214
00:13:11,509 --> 00:13:14,029
Yeah, I just need someone to
hold me and tell me it's all right.
215
00:13:17,473 --> 00:13:18,766
I got to go find Hyde!
216
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,861
I am pretty.
217
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,532
I am special.
218
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,118
My casserole is not too oniony.
219
00:13:42,247 --> 00:13:43,873
Hey.
220
00:13:43,915 --> 00:13:45,959
Oh, Steven.
I need to talk to you.
221
00:13:47,336 --> 00:13:49,797
How could you kick
Red out of your store?
222
00:13:49,839 --> 00:13:51,716
I wasn't expecting
him home so early
223
00:13:51,757 --> 00:13:54,552
and he walked in on me taking
a bath without any bubbles.
224
00:13:58,222 --> 00:13:59,640
There goes the mystery!
225
00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:04,478
I'm sorry, Mrs. Forman,
he was in the way.
226
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,522
In the way?
227
00:14:06,564 --> 00:14:08,691
When your parents left you
and we took you in,
228
00:14:08,733 --> 00:14:10,609
did we say you were in the way?
229
00:14:10,651 --> 00:14:13,903
No! We fed you and loved you
230
00:14:13,945 --> 00:14:16,741
and we let you into our Sears
family portrait.
231
00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:22,037
Look, I asked him to
fix one little switch.
232
00:14:22,079 --> 00:14:24,749
The next thing I know, he is
pounding and swearing and sweating.
233
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,250
It's like
watching Fez eat a cake.
234
00:14:27,918 --> 00:14:31,963
Well, you need to find a way
to make Red feel useful.
235
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,883
And you know what
else you need to find?
236
00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:35,777
A beige cardigan, because
that's what we're wearing
237
00:14:35,801 --> 00:14:36,927
in this year's picture.
238
00:14:38,095 --> 00:14:40,138
And I don't want to hear
about how it's not cool.
239
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,642
I just want you to put the damn thing
on, smile and say freaking cheese.
240
00:14:50,065 --> 00:14:53,944
Jackie, what is it about me
that makes every woman leave?
241
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,717
I'm going to die alone with nothing
but a room full of candy and pornography
242
00:14:58,741 --> 00:15:00,117
to keep me company.
243
00:15:02,953 --> 00:15:04,872
Although, as I say that,
it sounds okay.
244
00:15:09,668 --> 00:15:13,714
Oh, okay. Look, Fez, you're
not... You're not going to die alone.
245
00:15:14,882 --> 00:15:16,550
Yes, I am.
I'm a foreign weirdo.
246
00:15:18,469 --> 00:15:22,973
No, no. You have fascinating
stories about faraway lands.
247
00:15:23,014 --> 00:15:25,601
I scare women away
with my clinginess.
248
00:15:25,643 --> 00:15:28,979
But when someone needs you,
you're always there.
249
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:30,981
People can barely
understand a word I say.
250
00:15:32,858 --> 00:15:35,694
Well, yes,
but that's a good thing,
251
00:15:35,736 --> 00:15:38,029
because sometimes
you say really stupid things.
252
00:15:40,282 --> 00:15:43,118
Uh, okay, look, Fez,
you're a great guy, okay.
253
00:15:44,495 --> 00:15:46,330
You're funny and you're cute.
254
00:15:47,998 --> 00:15:49,834
And any girl would
be lucky to have you.
255
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:52,878
Oh, Jackie, you're so sweet.
256
00:15:54,505 --> 00:15:56,674
Why can't I find
a woman like you who likes me?
257
00:16:01,553 --> 00:16:03,096
I got to go!
258
00:16:05,975 --> 00:16:08,226
Well, if I watch some TV,
I'll feel better.
259
00:16:10,395 --> 00:16:12,815
And now,
Masterpiece Theater presents
260
00:16:12,857 --> 00:16:14,316
A Lonely Foreigner.
261
00:16:26,829 --> 00:16:28,539
Hyde, I don't get it.
262
00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:30,180
We're going to
destroy Mr. Forman's house
263
00:16:30,207 --> 00:16:32,292
and that's supposed to
make him feel better?
264
00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:34,837
Yeah.
265
00:16:34,879 --> 00:16:36,964
Then he can fix everything
and feel really useful.
266
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,359
Red will be
happier than the time
267
00:16:39,383 --> 00:16:41,552
he chased off those deadheads
camping in the park.
268
00:16:43,053 --> 00:16:45,430
Well, you can't camp there, man.
269
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,098
Some bald guy chases you off.
270
00:16:54,105 --> 00:16:55,705
I just ripped this
right off the furnace.
271
00:16:55,733 --> 00:16:57,067
I busted that TV.
272
00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:02,113
I totally destroyed
the washing machine, man.
273
00:17:08,662 --> 00:17:10,539
Oh, hey, Red.
274
00:17:10,581 --> 00:17:12,851
I'm glad you're here, man. Things
are just falling apart down here.
275
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:16,086
It's freezing in my room
and the TV is broken and
276
00:17:16,127 --> 00:17:18,422
this thing just popped right
out of the washing machine.
277
00:17:21,299 --> 00:17:24,929
Jeez, I'm gone for one day
and the whole house goes to hell.
278
00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:27,770
Yeah. It's a good thing you're here,
though, so you can fix everything.
279
00:17:28,557 --> 00:17:29,934
You know what?
280
00:17:29,975 --> 00:17:31,351
I'll get to this stuff later.
281
00:17:32,394 --> 00:17:34,063
Later?
282
00:17:34,104 --> 00:17:37,983
Yeah, I was thinking about what you
said this afternoon at the record store.
283
00:17:38,025 --> 00:17:42,071
You're right. I do deserve to slow
down and enjoy my retirement.
284
00:17:42,112 --> 00:17:45,198
So, right now,
I'm going fishing.
285
00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:49,119
Yeah, but it's,
like, 10 degrees in my room!
286
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,957
Can I at least call a repairman?
287
00:17:52,998 --> 00:17:55,417
Sure.
But you're paying for it.
288
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,128
I'm on a fixed income.
289
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,130
I'm retired.
290
00:18:05,594 --> 00:18:07,679
This is bad.
291
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:10,140
We destroyed everything.
292
00:18:10,181 --> 00:18:12,935
On the bright side,
I don't live here.
293
00:18:14,895 --> 00:18:17,940
What am I going to do, man? I can't
watch TV, I can't sleep in my room.
294
00:18:19,149 --> 00:18:21,276
I guess I can
drag my bed out here.
295
00:18:21,318 --> 00:18:25,072
Hyde, man, wait till you see
what I did to your bed!
296
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,744
Okay, Donna,
I don't know what to do.
297
00:18:30,786 --> 00:18:33,330
I thought I only liked Fez
because he was unavailable.
298
00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:36,166
But now he's available
and I still like him.
299
00:18:37,292 --> 00:18:39,586
I mean, I almost kissed him!
300
00:18:39,628 --> 00:18:41,171
On the mouth!
301
00:18:42,006 --> 00:18:44,133
He eats couscous
with that thing!
302
00:18:46,051 --> 00:18:49,054
Okay, before I tell you what to
do, let me just get one thing straight.
303
00:18:49,888 --> 00:18:51,348
You really like Fez?
304
00:18:52,474 --> 00:18:54,225
Fez is the one you like?
305
00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:57,187
Yes.
306
00:18:57,228 --> 00:18:59,106
So you want to go
out on dates with Fez?
307
00:19:00,357 --> 00:19:01,900
And make out with Fez?
308
00:19:03,861 --> 00:19:05,195
- Yes!
- Okay.
309
00:19:06,989 --> 00:19:08,758
Its Christmas morning, you
get up and your gift is Fez!
310
00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:11,201
- Donna!
- Sorry.
311
00:19:14,579 --> 00:19:17,290
All right, well, look, I mean,
if you really like him,
312
00:19:17,332 --> 00:19:18,917
you're going to
have to tell him.
313
00:19:20,210 --> 00:19:22,337
I know.
You're right. You're right.
314
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:24,673
Hey.
315
00:19:24,715 --> 00:19:26,175
- Hey.
- Hey.
316
00:19:26,216 --> 00:19:29,219
Hey.
So, uh, I hear you like Fez.
317
00:19:32,389 --> 00:19:36,267
What? How did you hear that?
318
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,937
Since we weren't trapped
in a soundproof lead box,
319
00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:42,566
we were able to hear your
delicate voice from across the street.
320
00:19:42,607 --> 00:19:45,569
All right. Okay, I know you
guys probably think I'm crazy
321
00:19:45,610 --> 00:19:48,072
and I'm going from guy to guy.
322
00:19:48,113 --> 00:19:51,282
But Fez has always been there for me
and he makes me feel good about myself.
323
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,243
So, go ahead,
go, go make fun of me.
324
00:19:54,536 --> 00:19:58,415
No, man. That's cool.
You know, Fez is a good guy.
325
00:19:58,456 --> 00:20:01,251
I think if he'd make you happy,
that's what you should do.
326
00:20:02,086 --> 00:20:05,172
Wow. Steven, thanks.
327
00:20:05,214 --> 00:20:08,133
And if it doesn't work out,
I hear Bob's available.
328
00:20:13,555 --> 00:20:17,142
And if that's no good,
here comes the garbage man!
329
00:20:17,184 --> 00:20:20,270
Oh, and hey, there's a garden gnome
across the street you haven't done.
330
00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:28,319
Hey, Fez, okay, we need to talk.
331
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:31,198
Yes, yes, we do. I thought about
what you said and you were right.
332
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:32,991
- I was?
- Yes.
333
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,785
Yes. Hilary did me
a big favor by leaving.
334
00:20:34,826 --> 00:20:37,829
Yes!
Yeah, okay, I think so, too.
335
00:20:37,871 --> 00:20:41,125
And what I realized is I shouldn't
be tied down to one woman!
336
00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:43,835
- Wait. What?
- Yes!
337
00:20:43,877 --> 00:20:46,296
I should be spreading my seed
all across the land.
338
00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,758
So, America, get ready,
339
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,302
'cause Fez is coming out in
action and no woman is safe!
340
00:20:53,971 --> 00:20:56,014
Except you. Nightie night!
341
00:21:07,234 --> 00:21:10,195
Don't get me
started on my home life.
342
00:21:10,237 --> 00:21:12,656
My wife and I haven't
slept together for months.
343
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:15,826
But it's not all good news.
344
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:21,248
Oh, well, looks like
our hour is almost up.
345
00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:23,333
But it seems like
you could use a drink.
346
00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:27,587
Pour one for yourself.
347
00:21:27,629 --> 00:21:29,380
Oh, no.
I never touch the stuff!
348
00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:33,384
Oh, what the hell,
doctor's orders!
26748
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