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1
00:00:03,972 --> 00:00:06,265
Hey, Red,
I got a question for you.
2
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,643
My wife says she doesn't want
anything for Valentine's Day.
3
00:00:08,685 --> 00:00:10,729
So I'm off the hook, right?
4
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,900
Let me tell you a little
story.
5
00:00:16,943 --> 00:00:19,612
There was a woman, a newlywed.
6
00:00:19,654 --> 00:00:23,825
And she told her husband,
"Rather than waste money on gifts,
7
00:00:23,867 --> 00:00:28,038
"save for retirement." And
so he never bought her a gift.
8
00:00:28,079 --> 00:00:31,041
Not for Christmas,
birthdays, never.
9
00:00:31,082 --> 00:00:33,877
And 50 years later,
she thanked him.
10
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:38,673
And you know who
that woman was? No.
11
00:00:38,715 --> 00:00:43,595
That woman was the invisible
dancing fairy of Dumb Ass Land.
12
00:00:47,306 --> 00:00:49,099
All women want gifts.
13
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,105
Well, what do you
get a stripper anyway?
14
00:00:56,315 --> 00:00:59,485
Ooh! How about a robe
and a father who gave a damn?
15
00:01:01,071 --> 00:01:03,489
Mrs. Forman,
life's a trade-off.
16
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:07,243
If her father gave a damn, I
wouldn't have this smile on my face.
17
00:01:08,494 --> 00:01:10,663
Well, Steven,
it is important to keep
18
00:01:10,705 --> 00:01:13,332
romance alive
once you're married.
19
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,502
That's why I bought a present for
Red and I'm sure he has one for me.
20
00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:19,130
Because he loves me and
he knows what I'm capable of.
21
00:01:21,633 --> 00:01:23,802
That's right, honey! Wait
till you see what I got you!
22
00:01:29,766 --> 00:01:31,977
You romantic little devil, you.
23
00:01:32,018 --> 00:01:34,144
Not hardly.
Follow me, rookie.
24
00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:40,819
Ever since I forgot Kitty's
birthday that one year,
25
00:01:40,860 --> 00:01:44,280
I keep a stash of
gifts down here.
26
00:01:44,322 --> 00:01:47,241
That way, even if I forget,
I remember.
27
00:01:49,285 --> 00:01:50,912
Go ahead, I'll spot you one.
28
00:01:53,289 --> 00:01:57,251
Oh, hey, these wool mittens
will be perfect for Sam.
29
00:01:57,293 --> 00:02:00,296
If only they were black,
leather and a bra.
30
00:02:03,508 --> 00:02:06,761
So what are you giving Kitty?
Ah, this needlepoint.
31
00:02:06,803 --> 00:02:09,764
She'll like it because it's
fun, and I'll like it because
32
00:02:09,806 --> 00:02:12,725
it'll keep her occupied
for gigantic chunks of time.
33
00:02:17,396 --> 00:02:21,233
Jackie, dear, thank you
for booking that lovely couple
34
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:24,195
on our Fools for Love piece.
35
00:02:24,236 --> 00:02:26,447
I know, that guy was so cute.
36
00:02:26,489 --> 00:02:28,717
You know, he said no matter
where he went he always heard
37
00:02:28,741 --> 00:02:30,785
his wife's voice saying,
"I love you."
38
00:02:30,827 --> 00:02:33,788
Ah! Well, apparently
another voice in his head
39
00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:36,207
told him to push her
off a Ferris wheel.
40
00:02:38,168 --> 00:02:39,794
Oh, my God!
41
00:02:39,836 --> 00:02:41,462
Oh, no, no, no, no,
that's horrible!
42
00:02:41,504 --> 00:02:46,300
It's a tragedy! We don't have
a couple for today's show.
43
00:02:46,342 --> 00:02:50,055
You've got three hours to
find another one or you're fired!
44
00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:54,726
Oh, I'm just kidding.
45
00:02:56,394 --> 00:02:57,770
No, I'm not.
46
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:03,233
Seriously, Jackie,
just kidding about firing you.
47
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,117
Christine St. George's office.
48
00:03:11,159 --> 00:03:13,285
I wasn't kidding.
49
00:03:16,915 --> 00:03:18,833
Psst! Jackie! Come here!
50
00:03:18,875 --> 00:03:20,960
Oh, what do you want?
51
00:03:21,002 --> 00:03:22,879
I wanted to say don't worry.
52
00:03:22,921 --> 00:03:25,255
It'll all work out between
you and Christine.
53
00:03:26,716 --> 00:03:28,509
Oh. Well, thanks.
54
00:03:34,057 --> 00:03:35,600
Christine St. George's office.
55
00:03:35,641 --> 00:03:37,143
You're gonna get fired!
56
00:03:37,185 --> 00:03:39,687
You're gonna get fired!
57
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,360
♪ Hanging out
58
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,989
♪ Down the street
59
00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:53,868
♪ The same old thing
60
00:03:55,411 --> 00:03:56,411
♪ We did last week
61
00:03:58,873 --> 00:04:01,251
♪ Not a thing to do
62
00:04:02,919 --> 00:04:05,588
♪ But talk to you
63
00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:08,466
♪ We're all all right
64
00:04:08,507 --> 00:04:10,260
♪ We're all all right
65
00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:12,470
♪ Hello, Wisconsin! ♪
66
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:29,904
Hey, record guy. Mr. Record.
Mr. Record Breaker.
67
00:04:32,364 --> 00:04:34,784
Captain Record of
the USS Phonograph.
68
00:04:36,327 --> 00:04:38,746
Donna, Hyde's already
given me a nickname.
69
00:04:38,788 --> 00:04:40,748
It's Mrs. Lady Lovely Locks.
70
00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:47,338
Okay, Mrs. Locks, um,
71
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:52,051
I was wondering if maybe
you'd like to, I don't know,
72
00:04:52,093 --> 00:04:55,221
like do something with
me tonight, for good old VD.
73
00:04:55,263 --> 00:04:56,430
Valentine's Day!
74
00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:04,981
Not VD.
I am clean as a whistle.
75
00:05:07,275 --> 00:05:10,153
Man, it's really
nice of you to ask
76
00:05:10,195 --> 00:05:11,955
but I've already got plans
with someone else.
77
00:05:11,988 --> 00:05:13,698
Maybe a rain check?
78
00:05:13,739 --> 00:05:18,036
Sure, I love rain checks. In
fact, I love checking for rain.
79
00:05:19,578 --> 00:05:21,058
I'm gonna go check
for rain right now.
80
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,627
That's the office.
There's no rain in there.
81
00:05:30,256 --> 00:05:32,175
Clear out here too!
82
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:42,727
Ugh! Fez! I have to find a happy couple for
Christine to interview today or I'm fired.
83
00:05:42,768 --> 00:05:45,897
What about Red and Miss Kitty?
84
00:05:45,938 --> 00:05:47,624
Ugh! I might as well
just book that painting
85
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,608
of the old lady and the
geezer with the pitchfork!
86
00:05:51,069 --> 00:05:52,987
I see where you're
going with this, Jackie,
87
00:05:53,029 --> 00:05:55,405
and don't worry,
if it will save your job,
88
00:05:55,447 --> 00:05:57,116
I will pretend to
be your boyfriend.
89
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,827
We should probably practice.
90
00:05:59,869 --> 00:06:01,704
Oh! Get off me!
91
00:06:01,746 --> 00:06:02,872
I was trying to help!
92
00:06:02,914 --> 00:06:04,099
You were trying to cop a feel!
93
00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,292
You didn't let me finish.
94
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:09,628
I was trying to help myself
to a handful of your boob.
95
00:06:13,216 --> 00:06:15,176
But I would like to help.
96
00:06:15,218 --> 00:06:18,012
No, Fez, if Christine finds
out we're faking it, I'm fired.
97
00:06:18,054 --> 00:06:19,805
I can sell it, baby.
98
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,683
Besides, interracial
couples are sexy.
99
00:06:25,019 --> 00:06:26,729
Because it's illegal.
100
00:06:28,814 --> 00:06:32,110
Fez, it's not illegal for people
of two different races to date.
101
00:06:32,902 --> 00:06:34,444
It's not?
Uh-uh.
102
00:06:36,114 --> 00:06:37,615
Freaking Hyde!
103
00:06:40,826 --> 00:06:42,120
Hey.
Hey.
104
00:06:44,580 --> 00:06:46,416
Look, I just wanna
make sure you didn't get
105
00:06:46,456 --> 00:06:48,042
the wrong idea
when I asked you out,
106
00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:51,503
because I was asking
you out as like... As friends.
107
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,298
Well, I'm glad you
consider me a friend,
108
00:06:53,339 --> 00:06:56,008
because when I said I had plans
earlier, I actually have a date.
109
00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:58,052
Oh.
110
00:06:58,094 --> 00:07:00,114
And I was thinking maybe you could
help me out and give me some advice.
111
00:07:00,138 --> 00:07:02,140
You know, from the
female perspective.
112
00:07:02,181 --> 00:07:06,644
I'd ask my cousin but she's
kind of into me. It's weird.
113
00:07:06,685 --> 00:07:08,896
Sure, yeah. I mean,
what do you have planned?
114
00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:13,901
I was thinking, we start sweet
with strawberry wine.
115
00:07:13,943 --> 00:07:17,529
Then, we get a tad naughty
with dirty word Mad Libs.
116
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,367
And then, hold on, what's this?
117
00:07:21,409 --> 00:07:24,454
Tickets to the Monster
Truck Mud Mayhem!
118
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,541
Wow, Randy, that sounds
like a great idea,
119
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,710
if you're dating Granny from
The Beverly Hillbillies.
120
00:07:33,838 --> 00:07:36,466
It's just there's something I
don't like about the usual roses,
121
00:07:36,507 --> 00:07:38,801
fancy dinner and
theater tickets.
122
00:07:38,843 --> 00:07:41,137
It's so expensive.
123
00:07:43,806 --> 00:07:46,684
Hey, Leo, what's your
idea of a romantic date?
124
00:07:48,353 --> 00:07:49,937
November 13th.
125
00:07:53,065 --> 00:07:55,526
But this year it's ruined,
man. I gotta go to the dentist.
126
00:08:01,532 --> 00:08:06,537
Well, I hope you two lovebirds are ready
to tell us all about your relationship.
127
00:08:06,578 --> 00:08:08,789
We sure are.
We've been dating so long,
128
00:08:08,831 --> 00:08:10,082
we finish each other's...
129
00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:12,584
Sentences.
130
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,586
Well, I was going to say
sandwiches, but whatever.
131
00:08:15,587 --> 00:08:17,256
Okay, here we go.
132
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:24,096
What's Up Wisconsin?
133
00:08:24,138 --> 00:08:29,185
It's time for our annual Fools for
Love segment, and with me today
134
00:08:29,227 --> 00:08:34,565
is my assistant, Jackie
Burkhart, and her boyfriend, Fez...
135
00:08:36,234 --> 00:08:38,652
How do you pronounce
your last name?
136
00:08:38,694 --> 00:08:41,364
Oh, the first five
K's are silent.
137
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:46,869
See how they look at each other!
138
00:08:46,911 --> 00:08:50,915
It's just the way Sonny used to look
at me while Cher was in make-up.
139
00:08:52,291 --> 00:08:54,585
So, tell us how you two met.
140
00:08:56,254 --> 00:08:57,380
Well, um...
141
00:08:57,422 --> 00:09:00,091
I'll take this one, baby.
142
00:09:00,132 --> 00:09:03,553
It was the third grade. Jackie
came to school with pink eye.
143
00:09:03,594 --> 00:09:07,598
All the kids teased her, so I
rubbed her eye and infected myself,
144
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,935
so she wouldn't be alone.
145
00:09:10,976 --> 00:09:15,606
I guess you can say it was love
at first sight! Pink sight, that is.
146
00:09:17,442 --> 00:09:22,488
Well, I'm sure my viewers are dying
to know the secret of your happiness.
147
00:09:23,155 --> 00:09:25,408
It's very simple.
148
00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:29,745
We make out every chance
we get. Kiss me, baby!
149
00:09:29,787 --> 00:09:34,542
No! No, no, baby, baby,
I have a cold sore.
150
00:09:34,584 --> 00:09:37,669
Well, baby, that wouldn't be the first
time I got a disease from you, baby.
151
00:09:39,464 --> 00:09:41,882
No, no, baby, I just...
I ate some garlic bread.
152
00:09:41,924 --> 00:09:44,343
Oh, baby, that's perfect!
I just ate spaghetti, baby!
153
00:09:44,385 --> 00:09:46,262
Oh, baby!
Baby?
154
00:09:46,304 --> 00:09:47,346
Baby!
Baby!
155
00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,014
Baby?
Baby!
156
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:53,018
Oh, come on, Jackie. Give
your man a Valentine's Day kiss!
157
00:10:01,652 --> 00:10:04,696
Whoo!
Call the fire department!
158
00:10:06,407 --> 00:10:08,659
You can't fake
passion like that.
159
00:10:09,452 --> 00:10:11,287
We'll be right back.
160
00:10:14,706 --> 00:10:18,752
Wow! Well,
that was terrific.
161
00:10:18,794 --> 00:10:21,088
Jackie, thank you.
You outdid yourself, darling.
162
00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:25,301
And Fez, as usual, I didn't
understand a word you said.
163
00:10:28,513 --> 00:10:31,890
Fez! We did it!
Oh, you totally saved my job.
164
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:36,061
Yes, and you totally were not kidding
when you said you ate garlic bread.
165
00:10:43,194 --> 00:10:45,737
Oh! There's my valentine.
166
00:10:47,615 --> 00:10:50,868
Oh!
See, now, the card is a heart.
167
00:10:50,909 --> 00:10:53,162
Actually, it's your heart,
and it's saying,
168
00:10:53,204 --> 00:10:55,122
"Hi, Red, remember
when I attacked you?"
169
00:10:57,542 --> 00:11:01,504
It's a reminder to cut back
on fatty, fried foods.
170
00:11:01,546 --> 00:11:04,798
Well, that's real cute.
I'll tell you what.
171
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,092
You close your eyes
and start counting
172
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,614
and I'll be right
back with your gift!
173
00:11:10,346 --> 00:11:14,058
One, two, three, four...
174
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:20,730
What the hell?
175
00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:26,736
Oh, no!
176
00:11:28,406 --> 00:11:33,244
...23, 24, 25, 26,
177
00:11:34,786 --> 00:11:39,291
27, 28, 29, 30,
178
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:42,961
31, 32, 33...
179
00:11:59,811 --> 00:12:00,811
Huh?
180
00:12:03,107 --> 00:12:05,526
Miss St. George,
are you okay?
181
00:12:05,568 --> 00:12:09,821
Yes, this happens
to me every Valentine's Day.
182
00:12:11,282 --> 00:12:14,159
I see a couple in
love and it reminds me
183
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,828
that I am missing the one thing
184
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:20,790
that every woman needs
to feel good about herself.
185
00:12:20,832 --> 00:12:22,834
A friend that's fatter then you?
186
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:29,049
Love! I sacrificed
love for my career
187
00:12:30,842 --> 00:12:33,803
and sometimes I think I
maybe did the wrong thing.
188
00:12:34,972 --> 00:12:36,806
Have a drink with me.
189
00:12:40,478 --> 00:12:41,811
Really?
190
00:12:41,853 --> 00:12:44,607
Tell me all about yourself.
191
00:12:44,649 --> 00:12:46,858
Who you are,
what makes you tick.
192
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,696
Well, um...
No!
193
00:12:52,364 --> 00:12:53,907
Let's go back to me.
194
00:12:56,285 --> 00:12:59,204
I was born in a small hamlet
195
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:02,916
just outside a little place
I like to call New York.
196
00:13:06,044 --> 00:13:10,549
And so I returned
safely to base camp,
197
00:13:11,801 --> 00:13:14,844
that half-frozen
Sherpa on my back.
198
00:13:17,055 --> 00:13:19,933
There's a famous
Tibetan folksong about it.
199
00:13:22,186 --> 00:13:23,771
Wow. You're incredible.
200
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:25,731
So are you.
201
00:13:27,232 --> 00:13:29,067
Here's to you, dear.
202
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,111
No, to you,
Miss St. George.
203
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,864
Well, that's what I meant.
204
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,287
Why on God's green earth
would I drink to you?
205
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,749
You're cut off.
206
00:13:49,338 --> 00:13:51,048
So do I look okay?
207
00:13:51,089 --> 00:13:54,510
I just wanna make sure my outfit doesn't
send the wrong message to my date.
208
00:13:54,552 --> 00:13:57,179
Okay, well, what message
are you trying to send?
209
00:13:57,221 --> 00:14:00,516
I'd like it to say,
"Hi, my name's Randy.
210
00:14:00,558 --> 00:14:04,478
"I'm a fun-loving yet
slightly naughty guy.
211
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,398
"The little boy in me is insecure,
but the man in me is cocky,
212
00:14:07,439 --> 00:14:11,318
"giving me a playfully heady
mix of humility and aloofness.
213
00:14:13,028 --> 00:14:14,988
"I like you. Let's party!"
214
00:14:17,408 --> 00:14:21,119
I think you are asking a little too
much from a jacket, but go have fun.
215
00:14:22,413 --> 00:14:25,332
Okay, Donna,
your valentine's here!
216
00:14:26,792 --> 00:14:29,253
I thought we'd start with
some hangman, then move into
217
00:14:29,294 --> 00:14:34,383
something that really gets
the pulse racing, like Yahtzee.
218
00:14:34,425 --> 00:14:37,511
All right, just so long as when you
get Yahtzee you don't yell, "Poopsie!"
219
00:14:38,846 --> 00:14:40,514
That's not a promise I can make.
220
00:14:42,892 --> 00:14:43,934
Ooh, pizza!
221
00:14:48,397 --> 00:14:50,524
Oh, you're back.
222
00:14:50,566 --> 00:14:53,819
Hope your car's not blocking the
driveway. We're expecting a pizza.
223
00:14:55,696 --> 00:14:59,366
Donna, will you go out with me
on a big Valentine's Day date?
224
00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:03,662
What about the other girl?
225
00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:05,790
There is no other girl.
226
00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:07,951
I just think you're hot
and I want to go out with you.
227
00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:10,167
Oh!
228
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,966
I'm her father and
I'm standing right here!
229
00:15:18,009 --> 00:15:20,596
Here, Mr. Pinciotti.
Pizza's on me.
230
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,057
Have her home by sunrise.
231
00:15:30,481 --> 00:15:31,982
Hey, Kitty.
Oh.
232
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,069
Hi, Red.
233
00:15:36,111 --> 00:15:38,572
Sorry I didn't get
around to making dinner,
234
00:15:38,614 --> 00:15:41,617
but I was too
busy counting to 956.
235
00:15:44,035 --> 00:15:47,247
Well, it's gonna be worth it,
'cause I found your gift.
236
00:15:47,289 --> 00:15:53,170
Oh! Look at that.
Pack of gum. Tire gauge.
237
00:15:55,172 --> 00:15:57,007
Actually, the gum
was for me. Red!
238
00:15:58,342 --> 00:16:00,928
Kitty, you always said
it's the thought that counts.
239
00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:02,847
Oh, I said that to
Eric when he was five
240
00:16:02,888 --> 00:16:05,056
and he gave me that
stupid macaroni frame.
241
00:16:06,642 --> 00:16:09,687
You! What did you do?
242
00:16:12,356 --> 00:16:15,734
I'm sorry, Red. I was down
there picking out a gift for Sam,
243
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,069
and she caught me and
assumed everything was for her.
244
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:21,281
And she started
kissing me everywhere,
245
00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:24,827
and I just handed everything
over to her. That's her power, man.
246
00:16:26,077 --> 00:16:29,373
Good God, Steven,
the whole stash?
247
00:16:29,414 --> 00:16:31,709
Look, I know I owe you
an apology, but can it wait?
248
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:34,920
'Cause Sam just sent me up here
to grab some whipped cream, so...
249
00:16:37,422 --> 00:16:38,716
Sorry.
250
00:16:41,927 --> 00:16:44,471
Okay, what were you
two talking about?
251
00:16:47,725 --> 00:16:52,855
Well, Kitty, I had a stash of gifts
down there for every occasion.
252
00:16:52,897 --> 00:16:57,067
That way, if I forgot to buy you
something, I'd still be covered.
253
00:16:58,276 --> 00:17:00,278
You buy my gifts in bulk?
254
00:17:02,447 --> 00:17:07,536
No, it's more of
a vast inventory of love.
255
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:17,713
Well, you're about to get a vast
inventory of my foot in your ass!
256
00:17:19,715 --> 00:17:22,259
Yeah! I can do that too!
257
00:17:34,479 --> 00:17:39,317
Wow. So this was
for me all along?
258
00:17:40,069 --> 00:17:41,737
Yeah.
259
00:17:41,779 --> 00:17:45,323
For one day I wanted to transform
this crappy little record store
260
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,200
into a crappy little bistro.
261
00:17:50,454 --> 00:17:51,830
Thanks.
262
00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:58,253
So, when I asked you out, why did
you pretend to have another date?
263
00:17:58,295 --> 00:18:01,423
Donna, I've wanted to
ask you out for a long time.
264
00:18:01,465 --> 00:18:03,092
And then you kind
of beat me to it
265
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:04,885
and I'm kind of
a traditional guy.
266
00:18:04,927 --> 00:18:07,471
I like to make the first move.
267
00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:12,142
But if you wanted to make the
second move, well, you're in luck.
268
00:18:14,061 --> 00:18:16,063
I'm not wearing a bra.
269
00:18:20,191 --> 00:18:22,152
That's good to know.
270
00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:33,789
Hey! I just had
the best meal, man!
271
00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:39,377
Somebody left two whole
steak dinners in there!
272
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:43,256
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
off to the monster truck show.
273
00:18:50,848 --> 00:18:52,349
Would you just listen?
274
00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:54,392
Oh, Red, I'd love to
talk to you but I have to
275
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,478
check the pressure in my tires.
276
00:19:00,315 --> 00:19:03,652
Hey, Red, Kitty told Sam
the presents weren't for her.
277
00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:05,278
Now I'm kind of in trouble.
278
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,447
So I got us each a bouquet
of flowers for our ladies.
279
00:19:09,741 --> 00:19:13,871
Kitty, I got you roses!
See how it feels, dumbass?
280
00:19:20,169 --> 00:19:22,587
Jackie, come in. Please.
281
00:19:24,048 --> 00:19:27,592
I just wanna thank you
for yesterday.
282
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:31,055
I feel we really bonded,
283
00:19:31,096 --> 00:19:34,933
as much as a star
can bond with a commoner.
284
00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:38,937
Well, I'm really
glad that we talked.
285
00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:41,314
You know, I got to see
there's a real person in there.
286
00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:44,109
Someone with hopes
and fears and emotions.
287
00:19:44,151 --> 00:19:47,404
Well, I'm only human.
288
00:19:47,445 --> 00:19:52,534
And you snuck a rare peek
behind my iron curtain, didn't you?
289
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,955
I know. You know, I really
feel like I got to know you better.
290
00:19:56,997 --> 00:19:59,875
Yes, you did,
and so you're fired.
291
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,253
Wait, what?
292
00:20:03,294 --> 00:20:08,092
I cannot have an employee
know so much about me.
293
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:13,638
And since your TV career is
finished, may I suggest bartending?
294
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,100
You pour a mean Scotch, lady.
295
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:21,772
No, no, no, this isn't fair.
I worked my butt off for you.
296
00:20:21,813 --> 00:20:24,357
Thank you.
Out you go. Go on.
297
00:20:26,151 --> 00:20:27,736
Go on.
298
00:20:27,778 --> 00:20:30,572
Okay, all right, you know
what? Nobody here likes you.
299
00:20:30,614 --> 00:20:33,784
They only pretend to like you
because you're famous.
300
00:20:33,825 --> 00:20:37,162
And I pretend to like them
because they bring me lunch.
301
00:20:38,663 --> 00:20:40,457
Oh, God!
302
00:20:40,498 --> 00:20:44,211
You are a crazy, bitter lady with
a hole where your heart should be!
303
00:20:44,253 --> 00:20:48,882
Now, is that supposed to hurt
me? I have a mug that says that.
304
00:20:53,804 --> 00:20:56,514
Those shoes are so last season!
305
00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:00,852
Rot in hell,
you worthless maggot!
306
00:21:07,442 --> 00:21:09,278
Well, I guess that's it.
307
00:21:09,319 --> 00:21:11,696
Oh, I promised
myself I wouldn't cry.
308
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:13,157
What do you know, I didn't.
309
00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:17,244
Okay, look, Christine
is obviously looking
310
00:21:17,286 --> 00:21:19,496
for a new assistant, so I
put in a good word for you.
311
00:21:19,537 --> 00:21:22,749
Really? Even though I was
so mean to you? Wow, thanks.
312
00:21:22,791 --> 00:21:24,334
Mmm-hmm.
313
00:21:29,173 --> 00:21:31,008
What's Up Wisconsin.
314
00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:34,094
I licked your phone!
I licked your phone!
24641
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