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1
00:00:05,097 --> 00:00:07,308
Hyde, new releases just
arrived at the store.
2
00:00:07,350 --> 00:00:09,060
Oh! Is that Abba?
3
00:00:14,065 --> 00:00:17,151
Oh, cool!
I love the Talking Heads.
4
00:00:17,193 --> 00:00:18,713
They have a girl in
the band and she's like
5
00:00:18,737 --> 00:00:22,448
a real musician who doesn't
have to use her sex appeal.
6
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,577
Although it wouldn't kill her
to put on some lipstick.
7
00:00:25,618 --> 00:00:29,789
Maybe pop a few zits. I mean,
you're on stage for God's sake!
8
00:00:29,831 --> 00:00:33,459
My band has a girl in it too and
we totally respect her as a musician.
9
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,962
A musician with
really big boobs.
10
00:00:38,548 --> 00:00:41,009
Hey, you know what they
should have? An all-girl band.
11
00:00:41,051 --> 00:00:42,677
Except instead of
playing instruments,
12
00:00:42,719 --> 00:00:44,888
they just dance
around and make out.
13
00:00:46,389 --> 00:00:48,516
You know, you and Karen
could totally hit it off.
14
00:00:48,558 --> 00:00:50,327
My band and I are heading up to
my parents' cabin this weekend,
15
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:51,728
if you wanna come.
16
00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:54,105
Oh, well, my dad
asked me to shave a "G"
17
00:00:54,146 --> 00:00:56,315
into his back for
the Packers game.
18
00:00:57,442 --> 00:01:01,821
So yes, I would love to come.
19
00:01:01,863 --> 00:01:06,158
Ooh, Barry Manilow. All right,
Randy, here's what I want you to do.
20
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,994
Take this record,
go back to the store.
21
00:01:08,036 --> 00:01:10,276
Anybody looks like a Manilow
fan, chuck it at their head.
22
00:01:11,957 --> 00:01:15,167
Even better, I'll
throw it at their crotch.
23
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,795
We don't want those
people reproducing.
24
00:01:19,756 --> 00:01:22,926
So, Donna. Sounds good.
25
00:01:22,968 --> 00:01:26,638
You and Randy in a cabin.
Breathing in the fresh mountain air.
26
00:01:26,679 --> 00:01:28,138
Having sex.
27
00:01:28,848 --> 00:01:31,225
What are you talking about?
28
00:01:31,267 --> 00:01:34,395
Well, you see, when a boy likes
a girl, the boy gets the girl drunk...
29
00:01:34,437 --> 00:01:35,438
Hyde.
30
00:01:37,023 --> 00:01:38,817
That's not gonna happen.
31
00:01:38,858 --> 00:01:41,503
He's not into me like that and he
knows I'm getting over a break-up.
32
00:01:41,527 --> 00:01:43,047
Come on, man. Don't
you know how guys think?
33
00:01:43,071 --> 00:01:44,405
Not really.
34
00:01:44,447 --> 00:01:45,883
The only guy I have
ever been with was Eric,
35
00:01:45,907 --> 00:01:48,660
and as far as I know,
a typical guy's thoughts are,
36
00:01:48,701 --> 00:01:51,162
"Who would win in a fight?
Bigfoot or Chewbacca?"
37
00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:58,419
All right. Here's what
a typical guy thinks about.
38
00:01:58,461 --> 00:02:01,506
Sex, beer and pinball.
39
00:02:01,547 --> 00:02:06,678
Now, if a guy can have sex while
drinking beer on a pinball machine,
40
00:02:06,719 --> 00:02:08,839
well, that's the beautiful
story of how I met my wife.
41
00:02:12,642 --> 00:02:15,353
Well, if it isn't Miss Mooch,
my unemployed roommate.
42
00:02:16,855 --> 00:02:18,314
What would you
like to mooch today?
43
00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:24,236
My cheese puffs?
My Yoo-hoo? My Oil of Olay?
44
00:02:26,072 --> 00:02:28,825
Fez, I want to find work,
but it's really hard.
45
00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:31,161
I spent all morning going
to every store in the mall.
46
00:02:31,202 --> 00:02:34,580
And when I find the right
outfit, I'm gonna look for a job.
47
00:02:35,957 --> 00:02:40,086
Fez! I look fantastic!
48
00:02:43,715 --> 00:02:46,676
You know, I always give
credit where credit is due.
49
00:02:46,718 --> 00:02:51,139
So thank you, God, for
my fantastic bone structure!
50
00:02:53,058 --> 00:02:54,517
So, Christine,
what's on the agenda
51
00:02:54,559 --> 00:02:56,144
for my favorite
local talk show host?
52
00:02:56,186 --> 00:02:59,313
I mean besides
looking Fez-tastic.
53
00:02:59,355 --> 00:03:01,607
Well, today I'm off to the zoo.
54
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:04,527
It seems a baby
elephant is being born.
55
00:03:04,569 --> 00:03:07,446
And I want to be
the first thing it sees,
56
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:10,200
so it knows there's beauty
in this ugly world.
57
00:03:13,285 --> 00:03:15,038
Well, for my money,
nothing beats the time
58
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,208
you rode along with cops and
stopped the liquor store hold-up.
59
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:20,710
Well, I got lucky then.
60
00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:24,547
The day before's show I
learned to do the flamenco.
61
00:03:24,589 --> 00:03:28,885
And as it turns out, a high
dance kick doubles beautifully
62
00:03:28,927 --> 00:03:31,303
for a knock-out
blow to the face.
63
00:03:33,723 --> 00:03:35,141
Ciao, darling!
64
00:03:35,183 --> 00:03:36,809
I love it when
she says, "Ciao."
65
00:03:36,851 --> 00:03:39,011
It's like she's made up a
whole new way to say goodbye.
66
00:03:41,272 --> 00:03:43,357
Was that
Christine St. George?
67
00:03:43,399 --> 00:03:46,069
She's my idol! That's who
I should be working for!
68
00:03:46,111 --> 00:03:48,863
We could co-anchor What's
Up Wisconsin together!
69
00:03:48,905 --> 00:03:50,990
Oh, I could just picture it!
70
00:03:58,831 --> 00:04:00,959
I'm Christine St. George.
71
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,002
And I'm Jackie St. Jackie!
72
00:04:04,212 --> 00:04:06,131
And it's time to ask,
73
00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:08,133
What's Up Wisconsin?
What's Up Wisconsin?
74
00:04:12,929 --> 00:04:17,850
Coming up today,
war, famine, disease.
75
00:04:17,892 --> 00:04:24,482
But first, our top story. Jackie
St. Jackie is spectacular!
76
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:30,613
And in sports today,
I'm gorgeous!
77
00:04:30,655 --> 00:04:36,244
Oh, this just in. Jackie St.
Jackie is the greatest girl ever!
78
00:04:36,828 --> 00:04:37,954
I am!
79
00:04:37,996 --> 00:04:39,205
I know!
80
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:46,004
Jackie St. Jackie? I got breaking
news. You're freaking nuts!
81
00:04:50,633 --> 00:04:52,343
♪ Hanging out
82
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,014
♪ Down the street
83
00:04:58,016 --> 00:05:00,143
♪ The same old thing
84
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,395
♪ We did last week
85
00:05:04,981 --> 00:05:07,358
♪ Not a thing to do
86
00:05:08,985 --> 00:05:11,821
♪ But talk to you
87
00:05:12,947 --> 00:05:14,740
♪ We're all all right
88
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:17,118
♪ We're all all right ♪
89
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,786
Hello, Wisconsin!
90
00:05:31,507 --> 00:05:35,385
Oh, Jackie, you're watching
Christine St. George. I just love her!
91
00:05:38,223 --> 00:05:40,516
The other day she had
a tiger cub on her show.
92
00:05:40,558 --> 00:05:42,476
It was just the sweetest thing
you ever saw!
93
00:05:42,518 --> 00:05:45,395
Right up until it
mauled the weather man.
94
00:05:46,772 --> 00:05:48,858
Yeah, but he
probably deserved it.
95
00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:51,485
He looks like he
smells like ham.
96
00:05:51,527 --> 00:05:54,739
Oh, but you know what?
Christine handled it perfectly.
97
00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:57,825
She distracted the tiger with
the food critic's lamb chop
98
00:05:57,867 --> 00:06:02,496
and then she made a tourniquet
out of her microphone cord.
99
00:06:02,538 --> 00:06:05,457
I know, she's amazing!
Oh, oh, she's back!
100
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:09,045
That sure is one
big pumpkin, Tim!
101
00:06:10,755 --> 00:06:13,383
Coming up,
a high school marching band
102
00:06:13,423 --> 00:06:19,429
that collectively has lost
more than 400 pounds!
103
00:06:19,471 --> 00:06:23,017
You know what? I'm gonna write
Christine a letter and ask her for a job.
104
00:06:23,059 --> 00:06:26,645
Oh, no, no, no, no, you have
got to go talk to her in person.
105
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,567
Trust me, there is nothing
celebrities like more
106
00:06:28,606 --> 00:06:31,441
than people showing
up in their offices.
107
00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:42,370
Steven, you have finally
reached that point in your life
108
00:06:42,412 --> 00:06:44,830
where you're no
longer a dumb ass kid.
109
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,709
You're a dumb ass man.
110
00:06:50,628 --> 00:06:53,463
Wow. Those dumb ass
teen years just flew by.
111
00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:59,304
And now that you're married, I'm
gonna take you on a rite of passage
112
00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:01,806
to the Viking Lodge.
113
00:07:01,847 --> 00:07:04,183
Gosh, Red,
I don't know what to say.
114
00:07:04,225 --> 00:07:07,519
I guess the first thing
that comes to mind is, uh, no.
115
00:07:10,189 --> 00:07:13,692
I stripped at the Viking Lodge in
Vegas for a guy's 85th birthday.
116
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,486
He had a heart attack.
117
00:07:16,321 --> 00:07:17,738
But then
the paramedics showed up
118
00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:19,740
and they were
really good tippers.
119
00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:22,952
Come on, Steven!
120
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:25,037
You need a place
where you can hang out
121
00:07:25,079 --> 00:07:27,206
and have a beer
with other married men.
122
00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:30,584
Boy, does that sound boring.
123
00:07:30,626 --> 00:07:33,796
Hanging out in a dingy room,
drinking beer, doing nothing.
124
00:07:35,798 --> 00:07:37,758
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll be in the basement.
125
00:07:39,885 --> 00:07:42,054
All right, Red, I guess I'll go.
126
00:07:42,096 --> 00:07:44,699
You're not gonna make me wear
one of those silly Viking hats, are you?
127
00:07:44,723 --> 00:07:46,892
'Course not,
don't be ridiculous.
128
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,936
Ours have horns and chin straps,
129
00:07:48,978 --> 00:07:51,147
and your name stitched
in yarn. It's very classy.
130
00:08:01,991 --> 00:08:05,161
Wow! Nice cabin.
131
00:08:05,203 --> 00:08:10,166
It's got a cozy, mid-century,
dead carcass feel to it.
132
00:08:10,208 --> 00:08:13,878
Yeah, I like to come up here
when I really feel like roughing it.
133
00:08:13,919 --> 00:08:17,382
So, you hook up the VCR.
I'll go microwave some nachos.
134
00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:21,260
Hey, Donna.
135
00:08:21,302 --> 00:08:22,761
Did you have sex with Randy yet?
136
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,597
Would you shut up?
137
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,266
That is not what this
weekend is about.
138
00:08:27,308 --> 00:08:30,561
Oh, yeah, you're right.
139
00:08:30,602 --> 00:08:33,814
A guy invites a hot girl to a
private cabin deep in the woods.
140
00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:36,817
It can only mean one thing.
He wants you to meet his band!
141
00:08:36,859 --> 00:08:40,071
Okay, maybe it's a little
weird that they're not here.
142
00:08:40,112 --> 00:08:41,613
A little weird?
143
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,050
That's like saying
it's a little crazy
144
00:08:43,074 --> 00:08:44,594
that you're talking
to a floating head.
145
00:08:46,536 --> 00:08:49,455
Well, we are alone.
He did bring wine.
146
00:08:51,332 --> 00:08:55,086
Wait a minute! Maybe you're
right! Maybe he wants to get it on!
147
00:08:55,127 --> 00:08:57,796
Did somebody say get it on?
148
00:08:59,465 --> 00:09:01,133
Fez, will you get out of here?
149
00:09:01,175 --> 00:09:03,010
Yeah, Fez, beat it!
150
00:09:03,052 --> 00:09:04,762
Ow! Why you...
151
00:09:07,139 --> 00:09:08,849
Son of a bitch!
152
00:09:14,439 --> 00:09:17,275
Hi, I'm here to see
Christine St. George.
153
00:09:17,316 --> 00:09:18,943
Do you have an appointment?
154
00:09:18,984 --> 00:09:22,405
No, but I am her biggest fan and
I would love to be her co-anchor.
155
00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:25,575
Okay, have a seat and a
psychiatrist will be right with you.
156
00:09:27,368 --> 00:09:30,955
Oh, please, miss, couldn't you
just let us in for two minutes?
157
00:09:30,996 --> 00:09:34,833
I got a better idea. How about
if I let you in for no minutes?
158
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,502
Please? Please,
could you let us in?
159
00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:38,170
I know I have what it
takes to be on TV
160
00:09:38,212 --> 00:09:40,923
and I just need to demonstrate
my talents to Christine.
161
00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:44,552
Oh, and I just want an
autograph. Or a souvenir.
162
00:09:46,137 --> 00:09:50,349
She made cheesecake on
yesterday's show. Is that around?
163
00:09:50,391 --> 00:09:51,976
You really want to get in, huh?
164
00:09:52,017 --> 00:09:54,186
Okay, I'm thinking of a
number between one and 10.
165
00:09:54,228 --> 00:09:55,521
Six.
You got it!
166
00:09:55,563 --> 00:09:57,815
Wait. So does that
mean we can go in?
167
00:09:57,856 --> 00:10:01,693
No. That's the number of cops
I'm gonna call if you don't beat it.
168
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,238
But I'm supposed
to be her co-anchor!
169
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:08,659
And I'm supposed to be
Brooke Shields. Ain't life a bitch?
170
00:10:22,006 --> 00:10:25,176
So, Steven, this is the Viking
Lodge. What do you think?
171
00:10:25,217 --> 00:10:27,678
I can see why you got that
CPR poster in the hallway.
172
00:10:29,221 --> 00:10:30,389
Red!
173
00:10:31,557 --> 00:10:34,977
It's great to see you!
Who's the new guy?
174
00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:38,314
Murph, Smitty, this is
my friend Steven. Hey.
175
00:10:38,356 --> 00:10:40,358
Steven just got married.
176
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:42,568
My condolences.
177
00:10:43,819 --> 00:10:45,696
Listen, I've been
married for 40 years
178
00:10:45,737 --> 00:10:48,073
and I'm half
the man I used to be.
179
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:51,702
But it evens out. My wife is
twice the woman she used to be.
180
00:10:52,662 --> 00:10:54,539
He's saying she's fat.
181
00:10:56,165 --> 00:10:57,708
Big woman.
182
00:10:59,043 --> 00:11:00,878
You know, pretty soon
your wife will be
183
00:11:00,919 --> 00:11:04,048
nagging at you about doing
one chore or another.
184
00:11:04,089 --> 00:11:06,592
You know,
taking out the garbage,
185
00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:09,094
mowing the lawn.
Making love to her.
186
00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:14,808
Wait till she starts finishing
your sentences for you.
187
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,768
Or in my case, my pizzas.
188
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,649
You know, I used
to think it was cute
189
00:11:21,691 --> 00:11:23,984
when my wife
finished my sentences.
190
00:11:24,026 --> 00:11:26,987
You know what I want her
to finish now? Living!
191
00:11:31,492 --> 00:11:34,828
See, that's
the thing about marriage.
192
00:11:34,870 --> 00:11:37,915
No one tells you
about the three rings.
193
00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:41,586
There's the engagement ring,
the wedding ring, and the suffering.
194
00:11:44,754 --> 00:11:46,756
He's saying she's annoying.
195
00:11:47,508 --> 00:11:48,926
Big pain.
196
00:11:50,469 --> 00:11:52,072
Is this all you guys do?
Just stand around
197
00:11:52,096 --> 00:11:53,240
the bar and complain
about your wives?
198
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:54,764
Of course not!
199
00:11:57,226 --> 00:12:00,187
So listen, I'm having
a few drinks the other night,
200
00:12:00,229 --> 00:12:02,648
and my old lady says,
"I suppose you like
201
00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:04,567
"yourself better
when you're drunk."
202
00:12:04,609 --> 00:12:06,527
I says,
"No, I like you better."
203
00:12:08,613 --> 00:12:10,615
My wife came to me
the other day and said,
204
00:12:10,656 --> 00:12:14,076
"We don't talk anymore." And
I said, "You ruined the streak!"
205
00:12:18,163 --> 00:12:20,916
You know, I'm learning a lot
from you guys in here.
206
00:12:20,958 --> 00:12:25,129
For instance, bras.
Not just for girls.
207
00:12:29,091 --> 00:12:31,051
The steam is great.
208
00:12:32,595 --> 00:12:35,805
Time to loosen the towel
and release the hounds.
209
00:12:37,807 --> 00:12:39,727
Don't look down.
Don't look down.
210
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:42,812
I saw the hounds!
211
00:12:49,027 --> 00:12:52,615
Miss St. George, you
put the beauty in beautiful,
212
00:12:52,657 --> 00:12:56,410
the sass in sassy and what
else can I say? I love a big tip!
213
00:12:58,454 --> 00:13:01,123
And what else can I say?
I love a big kiss ass!
214
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,630
So, who's gonna be
on the show today?
215
00:13:07,672 --> 00:13:10,924
Oh, Pete Rose.
I gotta go warm up.
216
00:13:10,966 --> 00:13:14,136
I don't want my slider
to hang over the plate.
217
00:13:14,178 --> 00:13:19,141
He really took me downtown the
last time, but not today, Pete Rose!
218
00:13:20,225 --> 00:13:21,851
Not today!
219
00:13:23,479 --> 00:13:25,582
Okay, well, let me get your
hair products. I'll be right back.
220
00:13:25,606 --> 00:13:26,856
Okay, darling.
221
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,111
Hi, this is
Jackie St. Jackie,
222
00:13:31,153 --> 00:13:34,031
reporting live from Fresh Hair.
223
00:13:34,072 --> 00:13:37,785
Today's topic, ugly people
running with scissors.
224
00:13:37,827 --> 00:13:40,329
Health hazard or
community service?
225
00:13:43,791 --> 00:13:47,586
Oh, why, hello,
Christine St. George!
226
00:13:47,628 --> 00:13:50,880
Why, hello, crazy girl
talking into a hairbrush!
227
00:13:52,717 --> 00:13:54,884
Jackie! Out! Out! Out!
228
00:13:57,887 --> 00:14:00,391
I apologize,
Miss St. George.
229
00:14:00,432 --> 00:14:01,726
This is Jackie, my roommate.
230
00:14:01,767 --> 00:14:04,936
She wants to be your co-anchor
on What's Up Wisconsin.
231
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,938
Well, from what I've
seen you do so far,
232
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:10,401
Jackie, I'd say you
have what it takes.
233
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:13,445
Really?
No.
234
00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:18,743
But you seem like a dear
thing, so good luck to you. Adios!
235
00:14:21,078 --> 00:14:23,831
Adios? How does she even
come up with those?
236
00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:27,418
Oh, she forgot her
hair products. Christine!
237
00:14:27,459 --> 00:14:31,046
Wait! No, no! Fez! Wait, wait,
let me deliver them to the studio.
238
00:14:31,088 --> 00:14:33,591
They'll have to let me in
and I can talk to her.
239
00:14:33,632 --> 00:14:35,551
I don't know, Jackie.
240
00:14:35,593 --> 00:14:37,393
I'll give you a free peek
at me in the shower.
241
00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:40,222
This end is up.
242
00:14:46,854 --> 00:14:48,814
Well, it took a while,
but the rugged
243
00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:50,566
outdoorsman finally
got the fire going.
244
00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:54,945
Lucky for us he was hiking by.
245
00:14:58,657 --> 00:15:00,534
Well, Randy.
Here we are.
246
00:15:00,576 --> 00:15:04,204
All alone. In front
of a nice roaring fire.
247
00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:08,333
This has worked out perfectly.
248
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:11,336
The only thing you forgot
is I'm not a stupid bimbo!
249
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,506
What?
250
00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:18,469
This whole act may work on
your little groupies, but not me.
251
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:21,555
So find another groupie to
grope, you gross groupie-groper!
252
00:15:24,349 --> 00:15:25,469
Donna, how can you say that?
253
00:15:26,852 --> 00:15:29,271
I mean, literally, that
sounded really hard to say!
254
00:15:31,356 --> 00:15:34,234
This whole night has been
one long set-up to get me alone!
255
00:15:34,276 --> 00:15:36,528
"Oops, my friends didn't
make it." What's next?
256
00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:40,449
"Oops, I spilled wine on your
blouse. Oops, we're naked!
257
00:15:40,491 --> 00:15:43,577
"Oops, I made an ice-cream
sundae on your boobs!"
258
00:15:46,705 --> 00:15:48,373
Donna, meet my band.
259
00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:51,961
The band is here!
260
00:15:55,506 --> 00:15:59,259
Band, meet Donna.
Believe it or not, she's sober.
261
00:16:01,303 --> 00:16:03,013
I'll help you guys
unload the van.
262
00:16:04,181 --> 00:16:09,102
Um, Randy, I feel
like such a moron.
263
00:16:09,144 --> 00:16:10,855
I thought you were
trying to hit on me.
264
00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:13,273
Donna, I wouldn't do that.
265
00:16:13,315 --> 00:16:15,901
I'm pretty old-fashioned
when it comes to romance.
266
00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:19,613
We're talking flowers,
candy, love poems.
267
00:16:19,655 --> 00:16:22,533
And, well, you haven't
given me any of those things.
268
00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:30,081
I mean, this is gonna
be really hard to say,
269
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,001
but I'm sorry that I
called you a groupie...
270
00:16:32,042 --> 00:16:34,920
A gross
groupie... I can't even say it.
271
00:16:39,884 --> 00:16:41,677
Wait, you two
aren't going to do it?
272
00:16:41,719 --> 00:16:44,262
No. You guys were wrong.
273
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,224
And since I control you,
I can make you do this!
274
00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:54,523
Donna, stop it!
275
00:16:55,691 --> 00:16:58,151
Gross, man,
what did you eat for lunch?
276
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:05,116
Christine St. George?
Hi, Jackie Burkhart.
277
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,953
Yes, the roving
hairbrush reporter.
278
00:17:08,996 --> 00:17:11,122
How did you get past reception?
279
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,791
Well, I really
wanted to talk to you,
280
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:15,044
so I asked Fez if I could
deliver your hair products.
281
00:17:15,085 --> 00:17:19,130
Oh. Oh! Well,
I'm glad you did.
282
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:23,510
Because now that I see you
standing in a television studio,
283
00:17:23,552 --> 00:17:27,389
I think you have
a solid career ahead of you.
284
00:17:27,431 --> 00:17:33,144
As a delivery girl.
Can I validate your parking?
285
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,706
But Miss St. George, please. If
you would just give me a chance.
286
00:17:35,731 --> 00:17:38,442
Look, I know I have
what it takes to be on TV.
287
00:17:38,483 --> 00:17:44,448
I own three of them! I also
know everything about you.
288
00:17:44,489 --> 00:17:47,117
What you like, what you
don't like. What you wear.
289
00:17:48,452 --> 00:17:51,496
Dear, these are skills
I could teach a monkey.
290
00:17:52,873 --> 00:17:57,127
And as a matter of fact,
I did. Episode 427.
291
00:18:00,089 --> 00:18:01,506
Oh.
292
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:07,304
But here's the good news.
I like you. You've got spirit.
293
00:18:07,345 --> 00:18:12,726
No. Moxie, yes.
Wait! No, it's gumption.
294
00:18:12,768 --> 00:18:16,187
Oh, there's a word for it
and I can't think what it is.
295
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,482
Oh, well.
The point is, look,
296
00:18:18,523 --> 00:18:23,612
you have a job if you
want it, as my assistant.
297
00:18:23,654 --> 00:18:25,322
Really?
Yes.
298
00:18:25,363 --> 00:18:28,241
I'll take it! I have a
job in television! Okay.
299
00:18:28,283 --> 00:18:31,662
Oh, wait, wait, do I get to
say What's Up Wisconsin?
300
00:18:31,703 --> 00:18:34,205
You can answer the phone
any way you like.
301
00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:44,174
Oh, there is my
little Viking in training.
302
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,177
So, how was last night?
303
00:18:47,218 --> 00:18:52,474
Don't even get me started on
the hounds. Oh! The hounds.
304
00:18:54,559 --> 00:18:57,187
The hounds are
an old man's testicles.
305
00:19:00,024 --> 00:19:02,043
I don't know how I'm gonna tell
Red, but I don't wanna be a Viking.
306
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:03,318
All those guys do is sit around
307
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,320
and complain about their wives.
308
00:19:05,362 --> 00:19:08,573
Oh, Steven, no. Those
men were just kidding around.
309
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:12,119
Did Red tell the one about the
three rings? I came up with that.
310
00:19:16,581 --> 00:19:21,461
Steven! Bad news about the Viking
Lodge. They don't want you back.
311
00:19:24,214 --> 00:19:27,217
All my hopes and dreams
have been unaffected.
312
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:31,555
But you know,
just out of curiosity,
313
00:19:31,596 --> 00:19:33,306
why would they not want me back?
314
00:19:33,849 --> 00:19:36,185
It was Smitty.
315
00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:38,812
He felt that your
eyes were lingering.
316
00:19:47,571 --> 00:19:51,158
Oh, Jackie. How is the
first day of work going?
317
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,620
Terrific. I can't believe I'm in the
glamorous world of show business,
318
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,916
that I have finally arrived!
Oh, here's your coffee.
319
00:19:58,957 --> 00:20:00,042
Thank you.
320
00:20:03,212 --> 00:20:06,965
I asked for half and half.
This is milk.
321
00:20:08,926 --> 00:20:13,097
Right, but I kind of, sort of
thought they were the same thing.
322
00:20:13,138 --> 00:20:17,101
No, no, half and half is not
the same thing as milk.
323
00:20:17,809 --> 00:20:19,561
They're different.
324
00:20:19,603 --> 00:20:24,566
Just as listening to me and
not listening to me are different.
325
00:20:26,193 --> 00:20:30,363
Like happy and furious
are different!
326
00:20:30,405 --> 00:20:34,868
Like employed and fired are
different. Do we understand each other?
327
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,368
Good!
328
00:20:37,829 --> 00:20:41,374
Now get me the coffee I want
or I'll get a monkey to do it!
329
00:20:44,294 --> 00:20:46,296
Jackie! Psst! Come here!
330
00:20:49,925 --> 00:20:51,635
Don't take it so hard, sweetie.
331
00:20:51,676 --> 00:20:54,429
Sometimes Christine
flies off the handle like that.
332
00:20:54,471 --> 00:20:56,807
But most of the time
she's a real sweetheart.
333
00:20:56,848 --> 00:20:58,683
Oh. Really?
No.
334
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,311
Welcome to hell!
335
00:21:07,692 --> 00:21:11,780
Hey, the name of the show
is What's up Wisconsin.
336
00:21:11,822 --> 00:21:16,326
Why is it that every story
you write is about Minneapolis?
337
00:21:16,367 --> 00:21:19,329
All right, you know what? You're
fired. Go take a slow boat to China!
338
00:21:21,539 --> 00:21:24,126
Maybe I will.
I love boats.
339
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,218
Hey, Christine, hey, what do
you think about my new beret?
340
00:21:33,260 --> 00:21:35,220
This is what I think about it!
27528
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