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1
00:00:04,263 --> 00:00:07,017
Well, Miss Kitty, thank you so
much for having lunch with me.
2
00:00:07,058 --> 00:00:09,101
Well, I am always up for a salad
3
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,103
and a martini in
the middle of the day.
4
00:00:13,732 --> 00:00:16,026
You didn't have a salad.
5
00:00:18,194 --> 00:00:21,614
Well, olives and
onions are almost a salad.
6
00:00:21,656 --> 00:00:23,634
Well, I'm just glad I can come
to you with all my problems.
7
00:00:23,658 --> 00:00:27,161
Well, sure you can, Fez. You
can talk to me about anything.
8
00:00:27,203 --> 00:00:29,372
Just to double-check,
are you sure it's normal
9
00:00:29,414 --> 00:00:32,000
for one of them to hang
lower than the other?
10
00:00:34,377 --> 00:00:36,128
Well, of course, Fez!
11
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,007
Nobody's ears are
perfectly symmetrical.
12
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,221
Kitty Forman?
13
00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:48,975
Marsha Sullivan!
14
00:00:50,852 --> 00:00:53,897
How are you? And how
is that husband of yours?
15
00:00:53,939 --> 00:00:56,066
Great.
He lost 3,000 pounds,
16
00:00:58,234 --> 00:01:00,111
when I took his
Mercedes in the divorce.
17
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,573
Oh, newly divorced,
what a shame.
18
00:01:03,615 --> 00:01:05,784
And they say
fourth time's a charm.
19
00:01:08,244 --> 00:01:09,680
Well, you know what,
you should come over.
20
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:11,515
It sounds like we have
a lot of catching up to do.
21
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,917
I'd love that!
I'll bring a bottle of wine.
22
00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:16,127
Oh, well, that is terrific!
23
00:01:17,128 --> 00:01:19,130
I can't wait to see you!
24
00:01:20,799 --> 00:01:22,341
Slut.
Tight-ass.
25
00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:27,847
Ah, Mrs. Sullivan, hello!
26
00:01:27,889 --> 00:01:30,683
What can these magic hands
do for you today?
27
00:01:30,725 --> 00:01:34,228
Actually, I was thinking
of trying something new.
28
00:01:38,817 --> 00:01:41,653
Well, perhaps we
should rinse and repeat.
29
00:01:47,199 --> 00:01:48,994
♪ Hanging out
30
00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:52,497
♪ Down the street
31
00:01:54,206 --> 00:01:55,917
♪ The same old thing
32
00:01:58,003 --> 00:01:59,879
♪ We did last week
33
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:04,717
♪ Not a thing to do
34
00:02:05,468 --> 00:02:09,055
♪ But talk to you
35
00:02:09,097 --> 00:02:11,016
♪ We're all all right
36
00:02:11,057 --> 00:02:13,518
♪ We're all all right ♪
37
00:02:13,559 --> 00:02:15,394
Hello, Wisconsin!
38
00:02:24,195 --> 00:02:26,924
Donna, this is gonna be your first
birthday since breaking up with Eric.
39
00:02:26,948 --> 00:02:29,159
You know what that means,
no crappy gifts
40
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,411
to return to
the science-fiction store.
41
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,293
Yeah, I mean, I guess
it'll be kind of a relief
42
00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:38,043
not to have to give him
his birthday spanking.
43
00:02:38,084 --> 00:02:41,420
He made you spank
him on your birthday?
44
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,590
Yeah, and then he danced
around in his underwear going,
45
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,467
"Happy birthday to me!"
46
00:02:49,054 --> 00:02:50,805
Sorry to keep you from work.
47
00:02:50,847 --> 00:02:54,600
Oh, don't worry, I already called
in and said I was having sex.
48
00:02:55,393 --> 00:02:57,854
Oh. Hello.
49
00:02:57,896 --> 00:03:00,356
Oh, my God.
Fez just banged an old...
50
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:07,279
...smobile in
the driveway with his bike.
51
00:03:09,866 --> 00:03:11,385
Marsha, I would like you
to meet my friends.
52
00:03:11,409 --> 00:03:12,678
Friends, I would
like you to meet
53
00:03:12,702 --> 00:03:14,370
the most ferocious
lover on two legs.
54
00:03:15,538 --> 00:03:18,248
Which by the way,
was new for me.
55
00:03:24,296 --> 00:03:27,133
It's like watching somebody
kiss their grandmother.
56
00:03:28,134 --> 00:03:30,469
Ooh, my nana
don't kiss like that!
57
00:03:33,223 --> 00:03:35,808
Mrs. Sullivan,
may I ask you something?
58
00:03:36,434 --> 00:03:37,810
Was I good?
59
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:40,479
Good enough.
60
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,521
Yes!
61
00:03:43,399 --> 00:03:46,986
Nice job, Fez. Combine
two of your favorite pastimes.
62
00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:49,030
Sex and antiquing.
63
00:03:51,866 --> 00:03:55,453
You know, for years older
men have dated younger women.
64
00:03:55,494 --> 00:03:59,165
And now it's finally okay for a
younger man to date an older woman.
65
00:03:59,207 --> 00:04:01,876
I guess what I'm
trying to say is, gross!
66
00:04:03,335 --> 00:04:05,630
Say what you want,
but Mrs. Sullivan is so
67
00:04:05,671 --> 00:04:07,882
much more passionate
than girls your age.
68
00:04:07,924 --> 00:04:09,842
You kids just lie there.
69
00:04:11,761 --> 00:04:15,098
Mrs. Sullivan, she moves,
she shakes, she makes noises.
70
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,644
Are you sure she
wasn't having a stroke?
71
00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:27,693
Hey, so I was
thinking we could all go in
72
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,403
together on
a birthday present for Donna?
73
00:04:29,445 --> 00:04:31,281
But I don't know
what to get her.
74
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:35,118
Oh, cool, there's
an echo inside my head!
75
00:04:36,327 --> 00:04:37,369
Hello!
76
00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:40,456
Balls!
77
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,211
Awesome!
78
00:04:45,253 --> 00:04:49,174
You know, we could give Donna
make-up, but that would be a waste.
79
00:04:49,215 --> 00:04:51,342
Might as well just give
a dog a snow blower.
80
00:04:52,093 --> 00:04:54,720
Oh, Kelso did that once.
81
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:58,683
Oh, no, wait.
He gave his snow blower a dog.
82
00:04:58,724 --> 00:05:01,686
That was when he was in his
"machines should have pets" phase.
83
00:05:02,728 --> 00:05:04,063
Bongos!
84
00:05:05,731 --> 00:05:07,108
Ecuador!
85
00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:10,278
Is there anybody in there?
86
00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,573
Oh, my God.
The echo just said yes.
87
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:18,536
You know what?
I think I've had enough.
88
00:05:18,577 --> 00:05:23,249
You know, once I caught Donna
using lip liner on her eyebrows.
89
00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:27,628
Seriously, it's like being
best friends with Phyllis Diller.
90
00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:31,590
How about I get something and
we can all give it to Donna together?
91
00:05:32,091 --> 00:05:33,801
Together.
92
00:05:33,843 --> 00:05:35,385
Man, I'm not getting the echo.
93
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,307
Hello?
94
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,392
There it is.
95
00:05:46,396 --> 00:05:49,275
Oh, oh, oh! My friend
Marsha Sullivan is here.
96
00:05:49,317 --> 00:05:50,544
Your friend?
I thought you hated her.
97
00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:52,695
I do!
98
00:05:52,737 --> 00:05:55,405
But she has
the juiciest gossip because
99
00:05:55,447 --> 00:05:57,992
she is a filthy,
disgusting, piece of...
100
00:05:58,034 --> 00:06:00,161
Marsha!
101
00:06:00,203 --> 00:06:02,914
Hello, Kitty.
Hello, Red.
102
00:06:02,955 --> 00:06:06,292
Here, Kitty, I brought us
some heavenly camomile tea.
103
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,419
Oh, yeah. Tea's nice.
104
00:06:11,421 --> 00:06:15,051
You said you were
gonna bring wine.
105
00:06:15,093 --> 00:06:18,846
She also said, "Till death do us
part." Look how that worked out.
106
00:06:20,472 --> 00:06:22,432
Red, don't you have
something to do in the garage?
107
00:06:23,101 --> 00:06:24,434
I can go to the garage?
108
00:06:29,023 --> 00:06:30,440
So, Marsha.
109
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,571
Tell me what is going on in
that adventurous life of yours?
110
00:06:35,613 --> 00:06:39,284
Well, actually, Kitty, I have
a wonderful new boyfriend.
111
00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:41,744
He's delicious, and quite young.
112
00:06:42,954 --> 00:06:44,914
Young? How young?
113
00:06:45,748 --> 00:06:47,083
Forty?
114
00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:50,002
Younger.
115
00:06:50,044 --> 00:06:51,503
Thirty-nine?
116
00:06:52,838 --> 00:06:54,799
Younger.
117
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,385
Well, for heaven's sake,
Marsha, what's younger then 39?
118
00:06:59,178 --> 00:07:01,806
Kitty, I'm not gonna tell you.
I don't want to shock you.
119
00:07:01,847 --> 00:07:03,266
Nineteen.
120
00:07:04,934 --> 00:07:08,646
Well, I just don't believe
this. I have a son who is 19.
121
00:07:08,687 --> 00:07:11,607
Oh, that's right.
I forgot about Eric.
122
00:07:11,649 --> 00:07:14,277
Where is that handsome
son of yours these days?
123
00:07:14,319 --> 00:07:16,028
Oh. Don't you
even think about it.
124
00:07:16,070 --> 00:07:19,240
He is in Africa, with the
lions, where he's safe.
125
00:07:22,243 --> 00:07:24,495
Well, he's gotta
come back sometime.
126
00:07:24,536 --> 00:07:26,205
Touch him and I'll
kill you in your sleep.
127
00:07:27,790 --> 00:07:28,790
Oh.
128
00:07:37,425 --> 00:07:40,511
Well, another day, another
romp with Mrs. Sullivan.
129
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,475
Actually, it was three romps,
but who's counting?
130
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:48,519
It was four.
131
00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:52,898
Hey, guys, I got
Donna's birthday present.
132
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,566
It's a little
wrinkled and musty,
133
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,648
but so is Fez's girlfriend
and he seems to like her.
134
00:07:59,364 --> 00:08:00,865
"My parents went
to Lake Michigan
135
00:08:00,906 --> 00:08:02,992
"and all I got was
this lousy T-shirt."
136
00:08:04,118 --> 00:08:05,870
I can relate, too.
137
00:08:05,911 --> 00:08:08,539
My mom once went to Lake
Michigan. All I got was a half-brother.
138
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:13,752
T-shirt?
What a lousy present.
139
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:16,422
It even says so,
right on the present.
140
00:08:16,464 --> 00:08:18,090
Hey, if you guys
don't like the present,
141
00:08:18,132 --> 00:08:21,219
you can steal her
something better.
142
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,555
Okay, well, what kind of
stuff is Donna into anyway?
143
00:08:25,139 --> 00:08:27,558
I don't know. Beef?
144
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,271
No, seriously,
Donna is a cool girl.
145
00:08:32,313 --> 00:08:34,399
I think we should
get her something cool.
146
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,942
Why, because you wanna
have sex with her?
147
00:08:38,944 --> 00:08:41,489
No, I'd do the same thing
for you if it were your birthday.
148
00:08:41,531 --> 00:08:43,574
Oh, so you want to
have sex with me?
149
00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:48,371
Yeah, Fez,
I want to have sex with you.
150
00:08:50,789 --> 00:08:52,666
I'd rather have a sweater.
151
00:08:55,211 --> 00:08:56,879
And it's August fourth.
152
00:09:01,592 --> 00:09:03,553
If you can't find any
gift ideas for Donna
153
00:09:03,594 --> 00:09:05,804
in here,
just give her what I do,
154
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:08,724
coupons for
15 minutes of Bob-time.
155
00:09:10,976 --> 00:09:14,813
You know, I always forget
how big Donna's room is.
156
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:18,150
It looks much smaller from
the tree across the street.
157
00:09:19,944 --> 00:09:22,488
Hey, look at this! Donna
uses the same hairspray as...
158
00:09:25,616 --> 00:09:26,951
My sister.
159
00:09:28,744 --> 00:09:31,747
Oh, look at this.
Donna's diary.
160
00:09:31,789 --> 00:09:34,459
Oh, I haven't looked
in here in like a month.
161
00:09:36,752 --> 00:09:38,754
Aw, damn, it's locked.
162
00:09:38,796 --> 00:09:43,008
The key's in one
of the desk drawers.
163
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:46,637
I'm not sure which. There's
always a branch blocking my view.
164
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,183
Okay, I'm heading out,
but I think I know
165
00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:52,726
what Donna needs
for her birthday.
166
00:09:52,768 --> 00:09:54,979
Thicker curtains and
a restraining order.
167
00:09:57,648 --> 00:09:59,733
Oh, my God, Fez,
listen to what Donna wrote.
168
00:09:59,775 --> 00:10:01,944
It's from a few weeks ago.
169
00:10:01,986 --> 00:10:05,406
"Hyde hired this new guy Randy at
the record store, and he's really cute."
170
00:10:06,698 --> 00:10:09,910
Donna thinks Randy is cute!
Can you believe this?
171
00:10:09,952 --> 00:10:12,413
Jackie, you shouldn't
be reading that.
172
00:10:13,456 --> 00:10:16,959
It's a complete
invasion of privacy.
173
00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:19,295
Oh, if I get just the
right angle on this mirror,
174
00:10:19,337 --> 00:10:21,005
I can see Donna when she sleeps.
175
00:10:26,511 --> 00:10:29,721
Here, Donna, I made you
a coupon for your birthday.
176
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:37,480
"Good for one knock-knock
joke, no 'who's there' required."
177
00:10:39,649 --> 00:10:42,485
Wow, dreams can come true.
178
00:10:44,529 --> 00:10:46,780
See that, Red?
Kids love those.
179
00:10:46,822 --> 00:10:48,699
You should have
made them for Eric.
180
00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:50,451
Yeah, I suppose I
could have given him a
181
00:10:50,493 --> 00:10:52,703
"get my foot out of
your ass free" card.
182
00:10:55,331 --> 00:10:58,959
Ladies and gentlemen, I present
to you a sinfully sweet confection
183
00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:01,086
and she is carrying a cake, too.
184
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,754
Oh, my goodness, stop it.
185
00:11:06,258 --> 00:11:08,969
Wow, Randy, look at your shirt.
186
00:11:09,011 --> 00:11:11,763
Uh, Donna, how would
you describe Randy's shirt?
187
00:11:13,015 --> 00:11:14,225
Um...
188
00:11:15,017 --> 00:11:16,519
Well buttoned?
189
00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:22,732
Cute. You would
say it's cute.
190
00:11:22,774 --> 00:11:26,195
I'm sorry, the answer we
were looking for was "adorable."
191
00:11:32,076 --> 00:11:33,661
Marsha!
192
00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:34,870
Oh, there's my lady.
193
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,753
What in the world?
194
00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:47,925
Oh, you didn't know?
195
00:11:47,966 --> 00:11:50,261
Yeah, Fez is dating
an older lady.
196
00:11:50,302 --> 00:11:53,639
Apparently, you taking him to all
those PTA meetings really paid off.
197
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:57,727
Fez is your younger man?
My Fez?
198
00:11:57,767 --> 00:11:59,604
Isn't he gorgeous?
199
00:11:59,645 --> 00:12:03,023
I think I'll keep him
for a couple of months.
200
00:12:03,065 --> 00:12:05,775
Did you hear that?
I'm booked till March.
201
00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:09,988
Fez, you can't date her.
Why not?
202
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,782
Well, in the first place,
she's so old.
203
00:12:14,493 --> 00:12:16,870
Isn't she kind of the
same age as Mrs. Forman?
204
00:12:19,123 --> 00:12:22,585
Yeah, say that louder,
that'll really help.
205
00:12:22,627 --> 00:12:28,591
How dare you dig your dirty
claws into this innocent boy?
206
00:12:28,633 --> 00:12:31,801
Wow, it's almost like she
was right in the room with us.
207
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,975
Fez, this is an atrocity.
208
00:12:38,016 --> 00:12:40,519
You two have to stop
seeing each other right now.
209
00:12:40,561 --> 00:12:42,812
You can't tell me what to
do, you're not my mother.
210
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,487
You know what? Fine!
211
00:12:49,528 --> 00:12:51,781
Then you just... You do
whatever the hell you want!
212
00:12:56,744 --> 00:12:59,455
Marsha!
It's me, Bob Pinciotti.
213
00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:05,461
I asked you out last month. I thought
you were moving to Costa Rica.
214
00:13:14,219 --> 00:13:15,763
Kitty?
215
00:13:15,805 --> 00:13:16,972
Oh, no!
216
00:13:19,849 --> 00:13:22,353
What's wrong?
Ice, margarita mix,
217
00:13:24,313 --> 00:13:26,774
the top from
a bottle of tequila.
218
00:13:28,609 --> 00:13:30,361
Good lord, she took the blender!
219
00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:35,574
She's in the dining room.
220
00:13:36,908 --> 00:13:38,452
I'll be in the garage.
Save yourselves!
221
00:13:45,626 --> 00:13:50,130
I can't believe Fez was seduced
by that cradle-robbing slut.
222
00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:54,009
You girls throw it around
like football players,
223
00:13:54,051 --> 00:13:56,094
couldn't one of you
have slept with him?
224
00:13:59,765 --> 00:14:02,476
Mrs. Forman, you need
to understand something.
225
00:14:03,435 --> 00:14:05,937
Fez is a deviant weirdo.
226
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,499
We're just glad he is
doing it with a person
227
00:14:07,523 --> 00:14:09,899
and not a couch,
a tree or my pillow.
228
00:14:11,777 --> 00:14:13,338
After all I have done
for that boy, he has
229
00:14:13,362 --> 00:14:16,574
the nerve to say,
"You're not my mother."
230
00:14:16,615 --> 00:14:20,786
If that's even what he said.
Because who can understand anything
231
00:14:20,828 --> 00:14:23,748
that comes out of that
ungrateful mush-mouth.
232
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:28,627
Wow. Fez and
an older divorced woman.
233
00:14:29,837 --> 00:14:32,256
You know, if I were
a divorced older woman,
234
00:14:32,297 --> 00:14:35,426
I would take everything
from my ex-husband.
235
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:36,844
Suffer, you cheating bastard!
236
00:14:36,886 --> 00:14:39,346
Can't
wait to be divorced.
237
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:45,060
Well, if he doesn't want me
mothering him, fine, I'm done.
238
00:14:45,102 --> 00:14:47,813
Next Christmas,
his stocking will not
239
00:14:47,855 --> 00:14:50,023
be hung by
the chimney with care.
240
00:14:50,065 --> 00:14:54,152
It will be tossed in
the garbage with hair!
241
00:14:57,448 --> 00:14:58,990
This place uses too much ice.
242
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:09,293
Here you go, Donna.
Happy birthday.
243
00:15:12,421 --> 00:15:15,507
I was gonna put a ribbon around
it, but you know, I barely care.
244
00:15:16,592 --> 00:15:19,637
Wow, Hyde, thanks!
245
00:15:19,678 --> 00:15:22,556
I have the same shirt from the
other lakes, but I needed this one.
246
00:15:22,598 --> 00:15:27,812
Wait. You collect these shirts?
Steven, how did you know that?
247
00:15:27,853 --> 00:15:30,898
Oh, because one time I heard
Donna say, "I collect these shirts."
248
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,819
I like when Donna wears
shirts with writing on them.
249
00:15:34,860 --> 00:15:36,654
The words just pop out at you.
250
00:15:38,864 --> 00:15:42,117
Donna, for your birthday,
I'm taking you on a journey.
251
00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:46,121
"Where," you ask?
To a Journey concert!
252
00:15:46,163 --> 00:15:49,333
"Why," you ask? 'Cause I saw you
had a poster of them in your room.
253
00:15:49,374 --> 00:15:51,376
"What was I doing in
your room," you ask?
254
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:54,755
Hey, stop asking questions,
we're going to see Journey!
255
00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:57,215
Wow, thanks!
256
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,426
Donna, I'm sorry I
didn't get you a present.
257
00:15:59,468 --> 00:16:01,720
I was gonna go shopping,
but Mrs. Sullivan
258
00:16:01,762 --> 00:16:03,013
is not gonna be around forever.
259
00:16:05,182 --> 00:16:07,267
I got to make
every moment count.
260
00:16:08,644 --> 00:16:11,062
Yeah, Fez, about that.
261
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,107
We just talked to Mrs. Forman
and we learnt a couple of things.
262
00:16:14,149 --> 00:16:15,985
First of all, you get
a few margaritas in her
263
00:16:16,026 --> 00:16:18,028
and she's a fairly
decent tap dancer.
264
00:16:19,738 --> 00:16:23,993
And also, she is really
upset about what you said.
265
00:16:24,034 --> 00:16:26,036
Yeah, Fez, she thinks
of you like a son.
266
00:16:26,077 --> 00:16:28,038
I mean,
you know, think about it.
267
00:17:26,221 --> 00:17:29,058
You know, Miss Kitty
has done a lot for me.
268
00:17:30,059 --> 00:17:31,936
Maybe I should go talk to her.
269
00:17:31,977 --> 00:17:34,897
And on the way I'll pick
up a box of chocolates.
270
00:17:34,939 --> 00:17:37,816
Good. Yeah, Fez, I
think she'd really like that.
271
00:17:37,858 --> 00:17:39,610
Oh, then I'll
pick her up one, too.
272
00:17:45,616 --> 00:17:48,118
Happy birthday!
I got you a diary.
273
00:17:50,579 --> 00:17:52,163
Well, I noticed
you needed a new one
274
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,624
when I was reading your old one.
275
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,668
You read my diary?
276
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:59,088
I didn't say that.
You just said that.
277
00:17:59,129 --> 00:18:01,423
Oh, you don't know what I said.
278
00:18:03,008 --> 00:18:07,137
But, I also noticed
you think Randy is cute.
279
00:18:07,178 --> 00:18:11,475
What? I do not, that was just
something I wrote, I barely meant it.
280
00:18:11,516 --> 00:18:14,478
Oh? Uh-huh? Really? Then why
are you going to the concert with him?
281
00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:15,854
You don't even like Journey!
282
00:18:16,814 --> 00:18:18,816
I love Journey.
283
00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:21,485
They're the Beatles
of our generation.
284
00:18:23,946 --> 00:18:26,531
Oh, come on!
Who are you kidding?
285
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,199
The only reason you
put up that poster
286
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:31,161
is to cover the hole Fez was
using to spy on you in the shower.
287
00:18:33,122 --> 00:18:36,541
Okay. Fine.
I think Randy is cute.
288
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,585
But it's not a big deal.
Because...
289
00:18:38,627 --> 00:18:41,171
I have to go. Write it in your
diary, I'll read it tomorrow.
290
00:18:44,008 --> 00:18:45,550
Miss Kitty?
291
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:47,594
Oh, hi, Fez.
292
00:18:47,636 --> 00:18:49,554
I'd get up,
but my back's still sore
293
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,431
from that knife you stuck in it.
294
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,188
Listen, Tutankhamen,
295
00:18:59,898 --> 00:19:02,567
you need to fix this.
296
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:07,031
My wife has been sitting
there calm and quiet all day.
297
00:19:07,072 --> 00:19:09,533
I disarmed landmines in Korea.
298
00:19:12,202 --> 00:19:14,496
But I have never
been this nervous
299
00:19:14,538 --> 00:19:16,540
that something's
about to explode.
300
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:23,922
Miss Kitty?
301
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,761
I would like to apologize for
saying that you were not my mother.
302
00:19:29,803 --> 00:19:33,557
Why? It's the truth. Why don't
you just tell me I'm fat, too.
303
00:19:35,934 --> 00:19:39,771
See, you treated me like a
son, and I didn't mean to hurt you.
304
00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:43,358
So, if it will fix things,
305
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:47,196
I would like to take your advice
and stop seeing Mrs. Sullivan.
306
00:19:48,197 --> 00:19:50,365
Okay, look, Fez.
It's your life.
307
00:19:50,407 --> 00:19:52,910
You can do
whatever you want to do.
308
00:19:52,951 --> 00:19:55,662
See, but the problem is, that on
the one hand I want your approval
309
00:19:55,704 --> 00:19:57,372
and on the other I
want to be with women
310
00:19:57,414 --> 00:20:00,167
in ways that frankly
would turn your stomach.
311
00:20:01,752 --> 00:20:04,546
Okay. Okay, Fez.
312
00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:09,218
If you really see
me as your mother,
313
00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:12,888
then you need to do what any
good son would do in this situation.
314
00:20:14,389 --> 00:20:15,724
Lie to me.
315
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:22,313
What do you mean?
Okay, well.
316
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,859
When Eric was still here, every
Friday night he would tell me
317
00:20:25,901 --> 00:20:28,570
he's going out with his
friends to the movies.
318
00:20:28,612 --> 00:20:30,506
But we weren't at the movies,
we were drinking beer
319
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,282
and peeing from
the top of the...
320
00:20:35,326 --> 00:20:37,495
Oh...
321
00:20:39,414 --> 00:20:41,499
So, you see?
322
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:44,128
Not telling each other
what they don't want to hear
323
00:20:44,169 --> 00:20:46,421
is what being
a family is all about.
324
00:20:47,589 --> 00:20:49,340
Thank you, Miss Kitty.
325
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,138
Now if you'll excuse me,
326
00:20:54,179 --> 00:20:57,390
I'm going to not have sex with Mrs.
Sullivan on her washing machine.
327
00:20:59,643 --> 00:21:01,603
You have fun at the movies!
328
00:21:08,026 --> 00:21:12,156
Hey, Dad. I was thinking of cashing
in one of my birthday coupons.
329
00:21:12,197 --> 00:21:15,200
I'll take you up on one
free game of Bobopoly.
330
00:21:17,202 --> 00:21:19,663
Listen, Donna, I know
those are just for laughs
331
00:21:19,704 --> 00:21:22,332
but I wanted to get you
something serious, too. So here.
332
00:21:23,917 --> 00:21:28,088
Peanut brittle, huh? Boy,
I sure do love this stuff.
333
00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:33,302
You didn't even see it coming!
334
00:21:34,178 --> 00:21:36,346
Yep, just like last year!
25973
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