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1
00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:08,009
Hmm, blonde.
More fun.
2
00:00:09,511 --> 00:00:11,387
Everything is more fun.
3
00:00:13,849 --> 00:00:17,519
Donna, if you only knew what I'd
like to do with you and your new hair,
4
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,605
you would beat
the crap out of me.
5
00:00:20,647 --> 00:00:22,625
You know, I might just beat
the crap out of you anyway.
6
00:00:22,649 --> 00:00:23,775
Yes.
7
00:00:25,318 --> 00:00:27,320
So now that Donna's
not Big Red anymore,
8
00:00:27,362 --> 00:00:29,922
I guess we have to go back to
what we called her when she was 12.
9
00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:31,156
Jugs-a-popping.
10
00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:34,327
Man, I hated Jugs-a-popping.
11
00:00:34,369 --> 00:00:36,997
Well, you shouldn't have
had popping jugs.
12
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,957
Speaking of objectifying women,
13
00:00:38,999 --> 00:00:41,393
Jackie, there's a Take Back
the Night rally tonight at the park.
14
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:42,836
Do you wanna go?
15
00:00:42,878 --> 00:00:45,338
Oh, and be with your deep-voiced
gal pals? Mmm! No, thank you.
16
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:47,716
This is important.
17
00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:49,610
Women should be able to
walk through the park at night
18
00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:51,594
without being harassed
by weirdo men.
19
00:00:51,636 --> 00:00:52,971
Hey, that was one time!
20
00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:57,684
I'll go.
Really?
21
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,420
You'd be, like,
the only guy there.
22
00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:04,858
Although, there is some
question about Shirley.
23
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:07,944
No, it'll be great. Why don't you
come by when Hyde's dad is here?
24
00:01:07,986 --> 00:01:09,404
We'll go over there after that.
25
00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:10,906
Yeah, it's my Steven's
big night.
26
00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:13,950
He finally decided he
wants to meet his real daddy.
27
00:01:13,992 --> 00:01:15,177
I kept hearing
this voice telling me,
28
00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:17,495
"Meet your father.
Meet your father."
29
00:01:17,537 --> 00:01:19,998
I finally said okay,
Jackie shut the hell up.
30
00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:23,292
I did, it's a true story.
31
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,170
Get off the phone!
32
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,967
Okay, any minute now,
Brooke is going into labor.
33
00:01:31,009 --> 00:01:33,320
All right? And I gave her the number
of all the places I was gonna be.
34
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:34,763
I cannot miss this call.
35
00:01:37,432 --> 00:01:39,726
Looking good there, Big Red.
36
00:01:39,768 --> 00:01:41,394
We're going with
Jugs-a-popping again.
37
00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:45,065
Oh, that's a good one.
38
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,901
And it's as true now as it
was the first day of fifth grade.
39
00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:51,613
That was a popping summer.
40
00:01:57,118 --> 00:02:01,998
Steven, I am so happy we
finally found your real father.
41
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,043
Here. I framed the
blood test results for you.
42
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:08,713
Now, I spoke to him
this morning,
43
00:02:08,755 --> 00:02:10,757
and I told him how your
parents abandoned you
44
00:02:10,799 --> 00:02:12,174
and we took you in,
45
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,929
and it's hard for you
to say it out loud,
46
00:02:15,971 --> 00:02:18,139
but that you love me
because I saved your life.
47
00:02:19,474 --> 00:02:20,642
Kitty, I'm not sure...
48
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:21,963
He would be dead on the streets.
49
00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:24,687
Okay, he's here.
50
00:02:24,729 --> 00:02:26,064
Now, Steven, fix your hair.
51
00:02:26,106 --> 00:02:28,483
Eric, don't mumble. Red,
don't yell at Eric if he mumbles.
52
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,154
Hi, is this the Formans'?
53
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,453
You know, I'm sorry, I
told your friend last week,
54
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:42,872
we don't want a subscription
to Ebony magazine.
55
00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:47,293
No, no, no, no.
We spoke over the phone.
56
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,935
I'm William Barnett.
I'm Steven's father.
57
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:52,924
Oh!
58
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:58,304
I mean, come in, come in.
59
00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:01,390
Everybody, I want you
to meet Steven's father.
60
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:02,725
Steven, look.
61
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:05,770
I'm looking.
62
00:03:07,147 --> 00:03:08,982
It's good to meet you, Son.
63
00:03:09,024 --> 00:03:10,900
I've really been
looking forward to this.
64
00:03:10,942 --> 00:03:13,982
I wanted to get you a card, but they
don't have one for our unique situation.
65
00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:16,739
So, here.
Happy First Communion.
66
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:19,407
Wow.
67
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:21,619
You came from him?
68
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:26,206
Yeah, I'm not sure
I see the resemblance.
69
00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:29,377
What are you talking about?
70
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:30,419
My 'fro,
71
00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:34,632
my coolness,
my suspicion of the Man.
72
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,260
This explains so much.
73
00:03:42,724 --> 00:03:44,225
♪ Hanging out
74
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,229
♪ Down the street
75
00:03:49,898 --> 00:03:51,941
♪ The same old thing
76
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,653
♪ We did last week
77
00:03:56,863 --> 00:04:00,825
♪ Not a thing to do
78
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:03,703
♪ But talk to you
79
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,455
♪ We're all all right
80
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:08,083
♪ We're all all right ♪
81
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,877
Hello, Wisconsin!
82
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:21,679
Well, Mr. Barnett, please, sit
anywhere you like on this big day.
83
00:04:21,721 --> 00:04:23,223
After all, how often does a kid
84
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:24,544
get to meet his very own father?
85
00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:28,269
So far, I'm up to twice.
86
00:04:30,105 --> 00:04:31,689
Hey, would you like a drink?
87
00:04:31,731 --> 00:04:35,276
Perhaps a cool drink
for our cool visitor?
88
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:40,364
No, thanks, but I think all
of you could use a Scotch.
89
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,535
That's crazy,
we're totally relaxed.
90
00:04:48,081 --> 00:04:49,321
Hey, you know what show I love?
91
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:51,876
The Jeffersons.
92
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:56,756
"Dy-no-mite."
Right?
93
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,094
"Dy-no-mite" is from Good Times.
94
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:06,307
Oh, well, I watch them all.
I mean, I don't discriminate.
95
00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:11,646
So father and son.
96
00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,148
Yep.
97
00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:15,191
Well, I...
98
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,401
I guess Steven must
have gotten his mother's...
99
00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:18,611
Eyes. Eyes.
100
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,241
Steven got his
mother's pretty eyes.
101
00:05:24,284 --> 00:05:25,367
Right.
102
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,411
Or as I like to say,
"Right on."
103
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,171
Okay, well, nobody's talking
about the elephant in the room,
104
00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:37,337
so I'll do it.
105
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:39,714
You're black.
106
00:05:46,639 --> 00:05:47,807
Mom!
107
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:52,352
Okay, please, Mr. Barnett,
we're very open-minded.
108
00:05:53,188 --> 00:05:55,148
Oh! Oh, no,
he's right.
109
00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:58,026
I, myself, love that
singer Art Garfunkel.
110
00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,362
Art Garfunkel's white.
111
00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,325
Really?
112
00:06:07,035 --> 00:06:09,578
Well, his name's got
the "funk" in it, so I...
113
00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:12,414
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
114
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,959
Red, who's that
black person I like?
115
00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:19,255
Martin Luther King?
Yes!
116
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,055
You know,
I'm beginning to feel like
117
00:06:27,096 --> 00:06:30,058
you haven't had a lot of
black people in this house.
118
00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:32,977
Well, I mean, it's certainly
not because we didn't want to.
119
00:06:33,019 --> 00:06:35,938
Right, right, no, it's just there
haven't been any available.
120
00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:40,860
You know, it's Wisconsin.
121
00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:42,653
Well, I know
all about Wisconsin.
122
00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:43,964
The only place around here
where you'll see
123
00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:45,614
white and black together
is on a cow.
124
00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,537
That's right! Sure!
125
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,999
So, William, what
kind of work do you do?
126
00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:56,709
I own a chain of record stores.
127
00:06:56,751 --> 00:06:59,587
Record stores. That's
cool, huh? Yeah.
128
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,588
I was afraid you were
gonna be a cop or something.
129
00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:03,341
I don't like cops.
130
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,301
I don't like cops, either.
131
00:07:06,261 --> 00:07:08,637
Hey, who do you think shot JFK?
132
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:11,599
I don't know, because they
don't want me to know.
133
00:07:13,226 --> 00:07:15,270
Check it out, man. I'm
a chip off the old block.
134
00:07:16,396 --> 00:07:18,731
Man, I wish Mom
had told me about you.
135
00:07:18,773 --> 00:07:20,042
Hey, when was the
last time you saw her?
136
00:07:20,066 --> 00:07:23,736
Oh, years ago. We were
dating and she just disappeared.
137
00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:25,422
I guess she married the man
you thought was your father
138
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:28,116
and told him that you
were his baby. Yeah.
139
00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:30,597
Mom must have been pretty
relieved when I came out white, huh?
140
00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:42,713
Hello? Brooke, it's me.
Did you have the baby yet?
141
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,051
No? Are you sure?
142
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:54,100
Okay, well, I'm in
the kitchen now, so...
143
00:07:54,142 --> 00:07:57,812
No, it's the same number, but I'm
in the kitchen, so when you call...
144
00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,315
No, you just gotta think,
"Kitchen, kitchen, kitchen."
145
00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:02,150
Okay.
146
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,445
This is
so exciting. Yeah.
147
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,989
You're going to be a father,
and I'm going to be all alone.
148
00:08:10,074 --> 00:08:12,160
My clock is ticking.
149
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:14,245
I just don't want to screw
this thing up, you know?
150
00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:15,389
When that kid opens his eyes,
151
00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:16,432
I want his daddy, who loves him,
152
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:17,999
to be the first thing he sees.
153
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,726
Plus, I don't want him
to get switched at birth
154
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,790
with one of those babies
that doesn't speak English.
155
00:08:26,007 --> 00:08:27,216
Why are you here?
156
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,179
This isn't your home.
157
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,514
It still wouldn't kill you
to put up some pictures of me.
158
00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:36,809
I got it!
159
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:39,728
Hello?
160
00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,397
Charlie Schmidt!
161
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,775
I haven't talked to you
since the war.
162
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,489
You know, I wasn't even sure
they pulled you out of the water.
163
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,034
If I had known...
164
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,535
Never call here again!
165
00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:58,831
Kelso... Well, I gotta
keep the line open.
166
00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:01,083
I'm gonna kill you and
mount your head on the TV.
167
00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:06,214
And if it helps me
get better reception,
168
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:09,175
it'll do more for me than
you have in your whole life.
169
00:09:13,388 --> 00:09:17,392
Oh, Fez, Michael, meet
William Barnett, Steven's father.
170
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:18,476
Good to meet you both.
171
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:22,646
Will you look at that?
172
00:09:26,234 --> 00:09:27,485
Yeah, I'm half black, man.
173
00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:31,947
Kind of puts all the pieces of
the puzzle together, don't it?
174
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,867
Hey, I'm having a kid soon. I
wonder if mine's gonna be half black.
175
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:38,662
Is the mother black?
176
00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:40,872
No.
177
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,127
I have to say,
Mr. Barnett,
178
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,422
it's nice to see another
person of color in this town.
179
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:51,515
White people, you know
what I'm talking about?
180
00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,597
Can't say that I do.
181
00:09:57,932 --> 00:09:59,308
Oh, I hear you, brother man.
182
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,604
Eric, are you ready to go?
183
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,082
I wanna get to
the feminist rally in time
184
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:07,275
for the Hugh Hefner pinata.
185
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:10,819
Ooh! Uh, Mr. Barnett, this
is Donna. Donna, this is...
186
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,489
I'm Steven's father.
I'm black, and it's okay.
187
00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:19,703
Wow!
Whoa! Donna, please,
188
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:22,623
do not flip out on the man just
because of the color of his skin.
189
00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:27,503
I would never do that.
I would never do that.
190
00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:29,797
Okay, Donna, let's just go,
191
00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,442
and maybe in the car
we can have a little talk
192
00:10:31,466 --> 00:10:33,634
about how hurtful our
preconceived notions can be.
193
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:36,762
Power.
194
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,477
Steven, this is so exciting.
195
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:43,852
I know, I met my dad.
196
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,687
And he's rich.
197
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,583
Now, instead of waiting for you to get
off your butt and make some money,
198
00:10:47,607 --> 00:10:48,816
we can just inherit it.
199
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:53,279
Wait a minute,
you mean inherit it from me?
200
00:10:53,321 --> 00:10:54,738
No, no, no, no.
201
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,825
All she means is that
you are doing quite well.
202
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,369
When I talked to your secretary
and she put me on hold,
203
00:11:00,411 --> 00:11:02,622
there was music on the line.
204
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,332
Ha! I thought to myself,
205
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:07,376
"Well, this is a man who
can afford a thing or two!"
206
00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:11,589
I see, so you knew I had money
before you invited me here?
207
00:11:11,631 --> 00:11:13,090
Is that supposed
to mean something?
208
00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:15,259
I don't know.
209
00:11:15,301 --> 00:11:16,760
Why don't you tell me, Steven?
210
00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:20,556
What are you talking about?
211
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,268
Well, I mean,
we don't have to play games.
212
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:26,270
I can give you money,
if that's what you're after.
213
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:27,855
That's who you think I am?
214
00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:32,252
I'll see you guys later.
Steven...
215
00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,777
No, you know what?
216
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,499
I didn't need anything
from him growing up,
217
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,050
and I don't need
anything from him now.
218
00:11:41,494 --> 00:11:43,538
You know,
that was very rude of you.
219
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,915
And I can't believe I'm saying
this to someone wearing cashmere,
220
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,043
but, well, I don't think
we can be friends.
221
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,261
How could you
say that to Steven?
222
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:02,890
He doesn't want your money,
I want your money.
223
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,893
How could you think that
anybody here needs your money?
224
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,478
Look at this place.
225
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:10,648
Glass grapes,
226
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,984
pizza rolls, an organ.
227
00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:17,029
It's like Carnegie Hall.
228
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:22,535
I stand by what I said. What
else was I supposed to think?
229
00:12:22,577 --> 00:12:24,579
You're supposed to look at me
230
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:28,457
and know that
I raised fine young men.
231
00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:30,750
Even though one of them
is at a feminist rally.
232
00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,505
Mr. Barnett,
you are wrong about Steven.
233
00:12:34,547 --> 00:12:35,797
He's perfect.
234
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:36,924
I think you should go.
235
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:38,799
I agree.
236
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,304
I was gonna pack you
some leftovers,
237
00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:45,391
but that ship
has sailed, mister.
238
00:12:49,395 --> 00:12:50,770
I hope this doesn't
discourage you
239
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:53,148
from inviting a second
black person into your home.
240
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:01,990
What do we want?
A safe park!
241
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,618
And when do we want it?
Now!
242
00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:05,994
I can't hear you, ladies!
When do we want it?
243
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,079
Now!
244
00:13:09,415 --> 00:13:10,790
Take back the night!
245
00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:15,337
This feels really good, Donna.
246
00:13:15,379 --> 00:13:17,357
You know, I... Women should
be able to walk through this park
247
00:13:17,381 --> 00:13:19,133
without being afraid.
248
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,260
In fact, someday, I hope
249
00:13:21,302 --> 00:13:23,803
that I can walk through
this park without being afraid.
250
00:13:25,431 --> 00:13:27,600
It helps to whistle.
251
00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:30,018
Well, I'm really
glad you came with me.
252
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,460
And I loved seeing how passionate
you got singing I Am Woman.
253
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,651
Well, I'm having
a lot of fun, Donna,
254
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:38,402
and I'm sorry,
but you look so hot.
255
00:13:39,654 --> 00:13:41,405
Your new blonde hair
shining in the light
256
00:13:41,447 --> 00:13:42,967
of the burning effigy
of that molester.
257
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:49,330
Hey, I got an idea.
258
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:52,291
Why don't we go "take back"
the area behind that bench?
259
00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:54,834
When do you want it?
Now!
260
00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:07,431
Brooke,
did you have the baby yet?
261
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:12,812
Fez?
262
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,438
No, this is your baby.
263
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:17,857
And I'm really ugly.
264
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,695
Okay, I know this is a prank,
265
00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:22,530
'cause there's no way
my baby would be ugly.
266
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:29,077
Hello?
267
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,679
Yes,
is your refrigerator running?
268
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,166
Because if it is, you
better go catch it. Burn!
269
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,877
Stop calling me!
270
00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:42,883
What?
271
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,343
Are you mad?
272
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,805
No, Fez.
273
00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:49,139
Look, you sound mad.
274
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:51,350
Well, I'm fine.
275
00:14:51,392 --> 00:14:53,686
You say the words, but I
can tell you don't mean it.
276
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:57,105
Look, just don't
call me anymore!
277
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,110
Why do you keep hanging
up on me if you're not mad?
278
00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:07,991
I'm waiting to hear from
the mother of my child!
279
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:10,494
So you are mad.
280
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,914
Curl up with the phone
so we can talk this over.
281
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,584
Fez, I'm hanging up.
282
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:17,501
Fine, just hang up, then.
283
00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:18,544
Fine.
284
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:30,388
Are you still there?
285
00:15:33,726 --> 00:15:35,143
Yeah, I'm still here.
286
00:15:36,771 --> 00:15:37,813
Hey.
287
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,189
Hey.
288
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:43,944
Thanks for not hanging up.
289
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,453
I'm just so mad at
that William Barnett.
290
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,580
I mean, thinking you wanted
something from him.
291
00:15:54,622 --> 00:15:56,415
Everyone knows
I'm all you've ever desired.
292
00:15:58,793 --> 00:16:00,335
Look, if I was in his place,
293
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,439
I probably would have thought
the same thing, you know?
294
00:16:02,463 --> 00:16:05,257
It's not a big deal. I just
wanted to meet the guy
295
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:07,979
and find out if he looked like I
imagined my father would look like.
296
00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:11,931
By the way, no.
297
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,975
Well, who needs
a father, anyway?
298
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,602
You know what?
I've been doing just fine
299
00:16:16,644 --> 00:16:18,204
since my dad disappeared
into the jungles
300
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:19,828
to bring freedom to
the grateful natives.
301
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:22,942
Jackie, your father is in prison
302
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,485
for embezzling
$60,000 from the city.
303
00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:26,933
I'm pretty, don't contradict me.
304
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,085
Bring it on, ladies.
305
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:43,378
You know what's great?
306
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,797
There's,
like, half-a-dozen women
307
00:16:44,839 --> 00:16:46,841
on the other side of that hedge
308
00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:49,009
who would kill to be
where I am right now.
309
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,722
Ow! Ow! You're on my hair.
310
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:55,349
Your beautiful blonde hair?
311
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,017
Get off me! Get off!
312
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,269
Hey, there's a woman in
trouble. Let's get him, sisters.
313
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,064
What? No, no!
314
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,692
That's right, you pervert.
No means no.
315
00:17:05,943 --> 00:17:07,945
No, ladies, please. I'm...
316
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,030
I'm one of you!
317
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,391
Let's put these
work boots to use.
318
00:17:13,951 --> 00:17:16,286
Run, Eric!
Run like Bruce Jenner!
319
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,623
Oh, crap,
he doesn't know sports.
320
00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:25,045
Open up,
it's Dr. Baby Doctor.
321
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,224
I have your baby
and he wants to talk to you.
322
00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:35,055
It's just me.
323
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:40,435
I'm not a doctor,
and I don't have your baby.
324
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:43,063
Burn!
325
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:45,690
That was a good one.
326
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:50,029
Listen, this baby stuff's, like,
really important to me, okay?
327
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,739
So I'm trying to
take it seriously.
328
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,575
Hey, say no more. My
sensitive friend, I am sorry.
329
00:17:56,911 --> 00:17:58,453
No more phone
pranks from now on.
330
00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:03,876
Learn to trust your friends.
331
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,717
Mr. Sexy's Pizza.
332
00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:19,391
Our special today is sex-a-roni.
333
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:22,728
Fez! God!
334
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:25,312
Hello?
335
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:26,899
Brooke!
336
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,818
What? Your water broke?
337
00:18:32,071 --> 00:18:33,488
What does that mean?
338
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:36,700
Oh, God, that's disgusting.
339
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:39,954
No, why would you tell me that?
340
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,750
Oh, jeez!
Okay, okay, I'm on my way.
341
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:47,628
This is it!
I'm having a baby!
342
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,129
Go get 'em, buddy!
343
00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:00,057
Mr. Sexy's Pizza.
344
00:19:02,476 --> 00:19:04,519
Our special today is sex-a-roni.
345
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:09,190
Well, it's like pepperoni,
but sexy.
346
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:18,241
You mean, you want some?
347
00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:28,459
We're closed.
348
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,684
Hey.
Hey.
349
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,979
So I was wondering if
maybe we could try this again.
350
00:19:47,021 --> 00:19:48,861
Yeah, I mean, it worked
so well the first time.
351
00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:54,653
I'm sorry about that. Thing
is, if I grew up with nothing
352
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:56,488
and found out I
had a dad with money,
353
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:58,410
I would have thought
maybe he owed me something.
354
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:01,660
Well, that's not me.
355
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:04,913
I know. But when we first met,
I thought I saw myself in you.
356
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,584
Yeah, I can see that.
357
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:13,380
You and me, it's like
looking in a mirror.
358
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,509
So you want to go
get a beer or something?
359
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:20,054
I can get you in some places
you've probably never been to.
360
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:22,806
Oh, like that cool
jazz bar off the highway?
361
00:20:22,848 --> 00:20:25,684
No, no, I'm talking about
country clubs, fancy restaurants.
362
00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:26,852
I'm rich as hell, man.
363
00:20:32,066 --> 00:20:33,901
Everything okay here, Steven?
364
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,235
Yeah, everything's fine.
365
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,863
I am so glad you're back.
366
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:41,491
I felt horrible letting you
go off without any leftovers.
367
00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:45,412
It's nice meeting you, Red.
368
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,573
And you're right. You have
raised some fine young men.
369
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:59,426
Yeah, I'm real proud of them.
370
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:02,888
They stole all my clothes.
371
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:04,389
Who?
372
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:07,226
The angry mob of feminists.
373
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,978
Man, look at you. They even
shaved off all your body hair.
374
00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:12,981
Yes.
375
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:16,317
Yes, they did.
376
00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:23,658
So Kelso has a child.
377
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,411
I cannot wait to see the smile
on that sweet little face.
378
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,080
And I'll bet
the baby's cute, too.
379
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,375
It is so cool that
Steven's father is rich.
380
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:35,587
You know, it almost makes up for
my father being locked away in...
381
00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:38,006
I mean, native land.
382
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:43,303
Eric, I'm so sorry about
what happened at the rally.
383
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:44,972
It was like watching an antelope
384
00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:46,253
get taken down on Wild Kingdom.
385
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,268
This is permanent marker, Donna.
386
00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:51,549
I don't think
this is coming off!
28513
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