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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,199 ♪ You never have to feel 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,240 ♪ That the night is yours alone 3 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,279 ♪ Rushing through the stars 4 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,320 ♪ Captivated by the worlds beyond 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,519 ♪ You aren't alone 6 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:25,560 ♪ It's a small world And you've grown. ♪ 7 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:38,279 - I know I've messed you about. I understand if you don't want to, 8 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,480 but I'd love it if we could go out for that drink. 9 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:44,999 You would? Oh, great. 10 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,519 - ♪ You were born with football boots and a suntanned complexion 11 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,639 ♪ You once thought that on reflection 12 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,999 ♪ You'd really got it made 13 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,039 ♪ You shrugged and smiled 14 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,559 ♪ And made the usual excuses 15 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,239 ♪ You suffered small abuses 16 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,679 ♪ And settled for the pay 17 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:09,119 ♪ You want to learn to live like an aristocrat 18 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,959 ♪ But your ex-wife's earrings Well, they soon put paid to that 19 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,279 ♪ Soon they'll hang the traitors, 20 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,559 ♪ String 'em up like drapes 21 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,759 ♪ And we'll ride around like Steve McQueen 22 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,879 ♪ In The Great Escape... ♪ 23 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:30,840 - Kenny, have you finished with this liver and onions or what? 24 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,880 No, thanks, I'll stay on me own. 25 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,319 - My Joan's thinking about taking her driving test again. 26 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:47,319 - Is she? - Her brother's been giving her lessons. He reckons she's ready. - Oh! 27 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:54,199 I know it off by heart. - You would. 28 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:58,239 She got one question wrong. 29 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:03,319 A tough one, really. - What was it? 30 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:09,799 - "What sign would you expect to see when travelling down a narrow country lane?" - What did she say? 31 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,720 - Fresh farm eggs for sale. - Oh! 32 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:18,400 - There you go, love. Call it 4.49. 33 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:24,279 Who was your dad going out with last night all done up? 34 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,999 - He was taking my mum out. - Your mum? 35 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:32,079 - Yeah. - He's not getting back with her, is he? - No, that's not what he wants. 36 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:37,999 He was burying the hatchet with her for my sake. He was inviting her to my 21st-do next week. 37 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,319 - That's kind of him. It mustn't have been easy for him. - Yeah. 38 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:47,679 She's not coming. My real dad's coming and she wouldn't be seen dead in the same room as him. 39 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:53,559 - Chance would be a fine thing. 40 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:57,119 - The poor girl's on tenterhooks, and who can blame her? 41 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:02,999 If a man promises to take you out for a drink, you don't expect to be kept waiting, do you? 42 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,560 - No. 43 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,600 - She won't wait forever, will she? 44 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,840 There you are, Eddie, love. 45 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:25,559 - What are you doing, Kenny? - I'm building a rocket ship(!) What does it look like? 46 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:31,079 I was thinking of going to the moon. Get yourself a helmet, you can come with me. 47 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:34,399 Why can't we? 48 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:39,999 - Just like your father, you are. - He had to iron his own pants as well, didn't he? 49 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:45,799 - I wish you'd give over. Leave 'em there. They'll be done when this programme's finished. 50 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:50,519 - Why, is Winnie due? - Yes. She should have been here five minutes ago. 51 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,319 - I'll do 'em myself. I don't know. 52 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,519 - You don't buy a dog and bark yourself, Kenny. 53 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:02,279 - I thought you was going to do the ironing on Sunday. - You know I never work on the Sabbath Day. 54 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,400 - Or the other bloody six! 55 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,919 Have you turned the heating off? 56 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:14,199 - Yes, I were too hot. - I'm freezing. I haven't got no pants on or have you not noticed? 57 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:18,040 - Yeah, I have. It's put me right off my Walnut Whip. 58 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:28,279 Hiya! - Hiya! Half a cider? - Please, love. Two Coke's and two Cheese and Onion. 59 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:34,559 - Kids in the car? - Yeah. - Will they be OK? - Yeah, I've popped a tape in for 'em, that'll keep 'em happy. 60 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,880 They love Chubby Brown. 61 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,280 - That's 3.90, please, Deb. 62 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:48,919 Tanya not coming in? I've not seen her all week. - She'll be in in a bit. 63 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,040 I'll just get that. 64 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,959 - All right, love, is everything OK? 65 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:03,159 - Yeah, it's fine. - Who's in then, just the usual extras from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest?! - Yeah. 66 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:08,599 - I know Debbie's in, I've just seen her car. - Yeah, yeah, she's in. - Is she on her own? 67 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:12,239 - Yeah. - Oh, well, you can cope. 68 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,880 - She's meeting Tanya in a bit. 69 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,479 - Yeah, well, I might just wander down in a bit. 70 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,079 - You don't have to on my account. I can cope. 71 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,719 - Yeah, I know. I'll see, anyway. 72 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,000 - Right. See you. 73 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:39,039 - I'm getting a quick bath, Mam. - Right. Do you want me to put an outfit out on your bed? 74 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,880 I shall be dressing myself tonight! 75 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:50,199 - Hiya. - Guinness, Joe? - Please, Mel. I'm gagging. 76 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:54,559 You don't know the latest about Duffy, do you? - What? - His Mrs is back. 77 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,839 - No! - Honestly. He rang me up at work to tell me. 78 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:02,399 - Did he? - Yeah. - That's a turnaround. What's brought that on? 79 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:07,759 - She's doing it for the kids more than anything else. - You can understand that, can't you? 80 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:11,719 - Being away started to get to them. - Missing their Dad, were they? 81 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,319 - No, it was more their schoolmates. 82 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,959 She's giving him another chance. That's the main thing. 83 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:22,239 - It's good news though, isn't it? 84 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,279 - Oh, I'll say, yeah. 85 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,560 TELEPHONE RINGS 86 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,679 - Hello. Hi, Dean. 87 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:34,919 - Hey, Joe, I've got some information you might find interesting. 88 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:40,439 - It's not about the dog that found the World Cup, is it? - What, Pickles? No, it's about Ken. 89 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:45,039 - What, about him fancying Tanya? Everybody knows that. - Does he? - Yeah. 90 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,319 - I told you that, Eddie. 91 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,159 - Aye, you did, my love, yeah. 92 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,839 Everybody knows that, Joe. 93 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,079 Anyway, what were you telling me? 94 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,399 - No, you were telling me something about Ken. 95 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:04,239 Being in the Marx Brothers this. 96 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:10,079 He's after packing it in. 97 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:15,919 - That's the rumour. - Blimey! 98 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,319 - Eddie told me. - Tommy told me. 99 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,919 - It's true. Debbie told me. - Mm. 100 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,119 - Tommy told me. - Eddie told me. 101 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:27,240 - I'll have to suss this out. I'll make a few enquiries. Mel! 102 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:33,679 Is your Dad throwing the towel in or what? - Who's told you? 103 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,199 - Joan told me. - Eddie told me. - Tommy told me. 104 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,359 - Debbie told me. - Tanya told me. 105 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:43,039 - Tanya? She can't keep anything to herself, that one. 106 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,359 - So is it true or what? 107 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:52,039 - Well, I know he's thinking about it. But he doesn't like talking about it, he just changes the subject. 108 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,439 It's the brewery's fault. They're never off his back. 109 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,719 - The days are numbered for pubs like this now. 110 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:04,360 They probably wanna turn it into a fun-pub. - Fun-pub! - They'll have to evict Tommy first. 111 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,879 - I'm not going anywhere. I've been sat at this table for 42 years. 112 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,159 - You'd better get off home, your tea'll be burnt. 113 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:17,679 Is my seat and I'm sticking to it. 114 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:23,199 Pants for 42 years either. - Piss off! 115 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,799 - At least we've had good news about Duffy and his wife. 116 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:32,159 - Its good news for him, not her. - I'm pleased for him. I can't wait to see him. 117 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:36,919 He'll wanna play it down for a while, 118 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,719 until the dust has settled and he's sure she's stopping. 119 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,959 - Oh, yeah, you're right. He will, won't he? 120 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,639 - Woo-oo! 121 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:51,199 ♪ Oh, baby, give me one more chance To show me that you love me 122 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,199 ♪ Won't you please let me 123 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,479 ♪ Back in your heart 124 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:00,279 ♪ Darling, I was blind to let you go Let you go, baby 125 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,079 ♪ Now that I see you in his arms 126 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,359 ♪ I want you back Yes, I do now I want you back 127 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:11,399 ♪ Ooh, baby, I want you back. ♪ - Hell fire! He's pathetic, isn't he? 128 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:18,199 News, Duffy! I'm delighted for you. 129 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,439 - 'What a great first date that was, Tanya. 130 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,759 'Like you said, "It was just perfect". 131 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:30,679 'When we got there and you said it was your favourite restaurant, I couldn't believe my luck. 132 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,959 'Good old Pizza Hut! 133 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:37,799 'No, I couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to come in for a coffee, 134 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:43,079 'but I'm an old-fashioned guy and I don't want to offend a classy bird like you. 135 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,319 'So if you don't mind. I'll... 136 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,279 'What did you say? 137 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,959 ' "Just stop talking and kiss me?" 138 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,480 'Come here.' 139 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,559 - ♪ Pretty soon they'll hang the traitors 140 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:59,079 ♪ String 'em up like drapes 141 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,439 ♪ We'll ride around like Steve McQueen 142 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,360 ♪ In The Great... Escape. ♪ 143 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:11,960 - Don't stay in there too long, Kenny. You know it makes your head all big and blotchy. 144 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,120 - Right, Mam. 145 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,479 - Oh, she's here. 146 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,999 - ♪ It's closer to the truth to say 147 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,599 ♪ You can't get enough 148 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:38,159 ♪ You're gonna have to face it you're addicted to love 149 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:42,239 ♪ Might as well face it You're addicted to love 150 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,439 ♪ Might as well face it You're addicted to love 151 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:50,439 ♪ Might as well face it You're addicted to love 152 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:54,319 ♪ You might as well face it You're addicted to love... ♪ 153 00:10:54,320 --> 00:11:00,239 Back is she? - Oh, she certainly is, Winnie, and who can blame her? - No, you can't blame her. 154 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:06,479 On that big house once he'd gone back to his wife, could she? 155 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,960 No matter how much stuff she pawned. 156 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,959 - Yeah, well, you know... maybe. 157 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:21,199 Anyway, how much is that round for everyone, Mel? 158 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,319 Don't forget your own, either. 159 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:28,439 There you go, Tommy. - Cheers, Duffy. Don't listen to the cleaner, son. 160 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:33,239 Your wife was always coming back to you. There was no doubt in my mind. 161 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,879 - Yeah, you're right. Thanks for that. 162 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:40,120 - Is there any chance of a packet of cheese and onion as well? 163 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,799 - All right, Winnie, love? - All right, Jean? 164 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:52,239 - Oh, I'm glad you're here, love, it gives me an excuse to stop for five minutes and have a cup of tea. 165 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,639 I've been a slave to this ironing board all day. 166 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,679 Pop the kettle on, will you? 167 00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:01,239 I'll be with you when I've got through more of this lot. 168 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:06,679 I've taken a big pile through there and hung it up. It takes forever my ironing. 169 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:12,000 - You'd get through it a bit quicker if your iron was plugged in, Jean. 170 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:29,239 For you and all, pal. 171 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:36,119 - What is it? - Some mucky Polaroid's of the mistress. - Bloody hell, Duffy! I thought you'd lost interest in her. 172 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:41,839 - Well, I had, but there's a chance I might get caught again now. It's a right bloody turn on. 173 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,120 - Go on, give us a shufty. - Good lad. Here. 174 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,640 - She's got an arse like a badly packed parachute. 175 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,399 - That's my screensaver, that. 176 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:59,959 Like that before. - Not on a Harry Potter bedspread, no. 177 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,839 - Oh, yeah, she took this one of me for a laugh. 178 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,320 See, it's meant to be a face. 179 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,759 - How did you manage to balance them sunglasses on it? 180 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:15,479 - Stuck 'em on it with Blu Tack. - It's Barry Manilow with a perm! - I know. 181 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,199 It's good, isn't it? - It's a belter. 182 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,399 - I took this one of her doing the same thing, look. 183 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,720 Hey! It's Jimmy Hill, isn't it? - Yeah. 184 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:31,159 - I was just improvising, there. 185 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,599 - It's what she keeps her teeth in. 186 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:40,799 Hey, don't knock it. - What does she look like with them out? 187 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,479 - Here. 188 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,160 - Bloody hell! 189 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:48,200 What's she laughing at? 190 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,319 - Is it like this one, Winnie? 191 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,760 - Let me have a look. 192 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:03,639 Yes, it is like that, but Tanya's is a bit bigger. - Bigger? - Yeah, AND it's got a ceiling fan. 193 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,759 - A ceiling fan, ooh. 194 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,999 Has it got a water feature? 195 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,120 - No, I don't think so. - Oh, well, never mind. 196 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:19,999 This one would look nice in there, wouldn't it? - Oh, it would. - I'd like that one. 197 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,039 She must be coming in tonight. 198 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,279 - Who, Tanya? How do you know? 199 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:29,959 - He's up to his bathroom antics again. He's in there trying to make himself look beautiful. 200 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,559 - Has he got a surgeon in there with him? Oh, hello, Ken. You look nice. 201 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:38,639 - Thanks, Winnie. - I thought it was Hugh Hefner walking in. 202 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:44,679 He's never out of his dressing gown. Every time you see him he's got his bloody dressing gown on. 203 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:50,679 - He's never out of bed with his harem. He's a disgusting old man. 204 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:56,119 - At his age, the only thing that'll get him up of a night is four or five pisses. 205 00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:00,799 - Ron's the same - in and out of bed all night. He's like a leaky tap. 206 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:05,639 - What about my Mam, she was up sleepwalking. - Oh, was you, Jean? 207 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:10,919 - I can't remember it. - Tuesday night it was. I couldn't be bothered with After Time, 208 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:16,919 so I went to bed. She was rooting through my drawers. I turned the light on and she jumped. 209 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:21,399 All she kept saying, "Where am I?". 210 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,519 - Oh, that's funny, isn't it? 211 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,999 Who knows the workings of the human mind, eh, Ken? 212 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,639 - You thought it was the first time it'd happened. - I did. 213 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:36,920 - I found out it'd happened two nights previous, sleepwalking back to her room with our Melanie's handbag. 214 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:49,040 - Why, what's up? 215 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:55,800 - Keep it to yourself, won't you, but we've been having a few problems recently? - How d'you mean? 216 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:01,239 - She told me the other night that I wasn't satisfying her any more. 217 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:07,599 - No, in the bedroom area. 218 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:13,679 Not standing to attention, then? 219 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:20,239 - He stands to attention, he just fires off all his ammunition as soon as he gets into battle. 220 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,639 - Oh, right, I see. 221 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:28,319 Ejaculation? - No, I love it. It's her that's suffering. 222 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,719 - Well, that's nowt to be ashamed of. It happens to a lot of blokes. 223 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,879 - Has it happened to you, Duffy? - Has it balls! 224 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,719 Don't spread crap around about me like that, Ben Johnson. 225 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,879 - Cheers, pal. Thanks for the vote of confidence. 226 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:47,279 - You've got to think of something else to take your mind off it, 227 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:51,399 you know like counting back from 100 or here's a good one, 228 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:56,919 see if you can think of the England players who won The World Cup in '66. - And does that work? 229 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:01,839 Winton, then it just makes it worse. 230 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,120 - Release those balls! 231 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,840 Give us another one. - Look at that! 232 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:18,999 - ♪ You hung around too long Your mother read your letters 233 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,319 ♪ You grinned like a go-getter That'd come and got and gone 234 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:28,359 ♪ In time the morning slips, blends into the wallpaper 235 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:33,279 ♪ Once you could escape her But where did you go wrong? 236 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,479 ♪ And if the whole world came crashing 237 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,839 ♪ Down around your ears 238 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:44,519 ♪ You'd dream of Stucco wallpaper and crystal chandeliers 239 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,079 ♪ Soon they'll hang the traitors 240 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,000 ♪ String 'em up like drapes 241 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:53,479 ♪ And we'll ride around like Steve McQueen 242 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,519 ♪ In The Great Escape. ♪ 243 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,960 ALL: YEAH! 244 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,199 Hey, look, it's Wyatt Earp! 245 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,279 - The Milky Bars are on Ken! - Bloody Hell! It's Hopalong Cassidy. 246 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,759 Are you going on a shoot-out with the brewery? 247 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:18,719 - What's all the fuss? It's just casual wear. - Oh, aye, yeah. It's casual wear if you're John Wayne. 248 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:23,559 - Was the ten-gallon hat too small for you? - Don't you bloody start! 249 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,919 - Shite! This is all I need. 250 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:30,079 - That'll be the magnificent six looking for you. 251 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,119 - ♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy 252 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:36,039 ♪ Riding out on a horse in a star spangled rodeo... ♪ 253 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:41,999 there's a new sheriff in town. 254 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,560 - Oh, no, not you and all. - I didn't realise it was fancy dress, Ken. 255 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,279 - The usual lads, a beer and a coke? 256 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,480 - Yeah. Set 'em up, bar tender. 257 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:02,040 - He's the good, the bad and the ugly all rolled into one. 258 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:09,239 - Oh, Joe, we saw your wife in Sainsbury's again, while we were looking at the papers. 259 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,080 - Guess what she's doing now. - What? 260 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,999 - A dinner party. - What? - You're joking. - Bloody hell! 261 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,919 - That's nice. Whose birthday is it? 262 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,479 - Nobody's, that's just it. - Eh? 263 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,679 - She's invited some friends from work, 264 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:30,479 - Will you have enough trays, Joe? 265 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,039 - No, in the dining room, at the table. 266 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,839 - What, you're sat around eating food, with no telly on? - That's the plan. 267 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,919 - It'll end in tears. - D'you have to help out? 268 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,439 - Yeah. - Are you buttering the bread? 269 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:49,039 - What's going on, Joe? 270 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:53,239 - Haven't you met any of these people that she's inviting before? 271 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,399 - No, they've just relocated to her works. 272 00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:02,039 To be fair, that's why she's doing it, to help them all settle in. - Where've they come from? 273 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:06,719 - London. - ALL: Oh-h! - That explains it. - You should have said. 274 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,359 - I heard her on the phone to them. 275 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:14,199 She said "Come round at half past six, we'll have drinks and nibbles." 276 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:20,399 When she came off, I said, "Nibbles!? Nibbles? What's with the nibbles business? 277 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,999 "You've never said nibbles before." 278 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:29,679 - Oh, it's a southern expression, Joe. I've seen it on Morse one time. It means crisps and/or nuts. 279 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,079 - I know. I'm just saying, she's gone too far this time. 280 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:38,839 You'll be out of your depth. - I know. That's what I'm worried about. 281 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:43,759 - You'll be OK, Joe. Just be yourself, but with a few airs and graces. 282 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:48,679 Course, pretend you like the wine. 283 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,439 If there's rice pudding, offer the skin to your guests. 284 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:57,840 - Why don't you go round, Gordon Ramsay, and open some Fray Bentos pies for them? 285 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:03,319 - There you go lads, 20p a go. - Again? What's it in aid of this time? 286 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,839 - It's for Eddie and Joan. They can't pay a big phone bill. 287 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:11,279 - I thought that was sorted. You said you'd given it to him last week. 288 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:16,279 He rang everybody up to thank 'em. 289 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:20,399 He's got another one now, the dozy sod. - Bloody hell! 290 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:26,519 - Yeah, it's all work, work, work, with my Mrs nowadays and she's working overtime every night as well. 291 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:31,879 - That's no good! - It's not me, I don't mind. I'm concerned about the kids. 292 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:36,639 - How d'you mean? - They've got to stay in the after-school club now. 293 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,879 They've got to stay in there until she's finished working late. 294 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,279 - Oh, dear me. - And they hate it. 295 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:48,799 They sit by that window breaking their little hearts everyday, just waiting to be picked up. 296 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,280 They'll be there now. 297 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,919 - Eh up, here's the Sundance Kid now. 298 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,279 - Should we have a word with him about whether he's leaving? 299 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:05,960 - I do, yeah. We're the ones who drink in here, aren't we? We deserve to know. Come on. 300 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:15,039 - Mel will be with you in a minute, lads. - It's not Mel we've come to see, Ken, it's you. - Oh, aye. 301 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,719 - Are you throwing the towel in? - I could be. Will you miss me? 302 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:23,719 - Is the brewery messing you about? 303 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,799 - They never stop messing me about. I'm sick of it. - You don't want that. 304 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:32,999 Headless chickens for a few more punters. - It's not on. 305 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:37,399 - The Oak's man's run himself into the ground. - He would, the creeping get. 306 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,879 - Phil and Nige were telling me what he's doing. - What? Go on. 307 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,439 - A Miss Wet T-shirt contest. - Bloody hell! 308 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:51,479 - It's scraping the bottom of the barrel. I thought we'd seen the last of that crap in the Eighties. 309 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,639 We're going bloody backwards. 310 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,040 It's sad, isn't it, lads? 311 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:04,679 Bloody hell! - Dad, I'm getting off in a minute, if that's OK? 312 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:09,280 I said I'd meet Dean. - No problem. - I don't want to be a gooseberry. 313 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:14,279 - What do you mean? - You know what I mean, Buffalo Bill. 314 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:18,919 - Oh, right. You don't think I'm making a fool of myself, do you? 315 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:25,319 There's no fool like an old fool. - No, I think you should go for it. - Do you think so, love? - Yeah, I do. 316 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,399 - Oh, good. I was worried about what you might think. 317 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:33,559 - Well, you needn't have. I think she's lovely Tanya. - Yeah, so do I. 318 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,639 I was going to ask her out tonight, but my bottle's going now. 319 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,639 - Faint heart never won fair maiden. - You're bloody right! 320 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,959 I think I might have a few of these first though, eh? 321 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,920 - Dad... - What? - ..lose the cowboy collars, eh? 322 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,479 - Do you think so? - Well, she's not Calamity Jane, is she? 323 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,320 - Go on! Sod off! 324 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,120 There you go, Nige. - Cheers, Ken. 325 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,559 - These are getting on my nerves. 326 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:08,120 - Dad, can I have a tenner out of my wages before I go? 327 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:16,360 This much. - Go and have a good night. - Thanks, Dad. You, too. 328 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,679 - You're not spoiling her again, are you? - She's worth it. 329 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,999 The girls work hard behind this bar. I should give them a bit more. 330 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:31,799 Bit more for a while, haven't you? - Chance would be a fine thing. 331 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,679 - From what we've seen, you've got every chance. - D'you reckon? 332 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,839 - We're coppers, aren't we? We don't miss much. 333 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:43,239 - No, you don't. Is she not a bit too young for someone like me? 334 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:47,759 Do. - She sees something in you. 335 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:54,519 - I know who - Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. 336 00:24:54,520 --> 00:25:00,759 - No, Esmeralda and that fella that rings the bell. - Cheers, Nige, thanks! I know I'm no oil painting... 337 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,039 - Not unless you count Picasso. 338 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:09,359 I mean, it never stopped Paul Daniels did it, with the lovely Debbie? 339 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:14,039 That Miss World. She's half his age. 340 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:18,679 - That is playing the Generation Game. - And, "Didn't he do well?" 341 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,960 - Ken, "It could be your big night if you play your cards right! 342 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:28,119 - "Good game. - Nice to see you, to see you nice! 343 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:31,359 "Higher, higher than an eight? - All right, my love? 344 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:37,599 - "Give us a twirl! - Look at the scores! Look at the scores! - Oh, a lovely teasmade? 345 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,639 - "Oh, didn't she, didn't she do well? 346 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,960 "All right, all right, my love? Open the doors!" 347 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,719 - Another one, Nige? 348 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:58,039 - You know what they say... 349 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:03,559 To the Regiment! - I wish I was there! 350 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:07,080 - "Good game, good game. - Didn't he do well!" 351 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,399 Hiya, Joan. Hiya, Debs. Are you having one? 352 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:18,840 - No, just get your own. I'm all right. - Where's Ken? Is he out with his Mrs again? 353 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:26,960 - Hello, Tanya. I won't be a second. I'll just see to the lads. - Right. 354 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,640 INAUDIBLE SPEECH 355 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,760 - There you go, Nige. Excuse me a minute, gents. 356 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,920 Gin and slim, love? - Please, Ken. 357 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:02,959 Come in. I wanted to have a word. 358 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,000 - Actually, I wanted to have a word with you. 359 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,799 - What about? 360 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,440 - I've come in to give you a week's notice, Ken. 361 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,280 - What, you're leaving? - Yeah, that's right. 362 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,680 - Right. 363 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,720 - What did you want me for? 364 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:36,080 - Um... you've not seen the football card knocking about, have you? 365 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,560 - I haven't, no. I'm sorry. 366 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,360 - Well, it'll turn up, eh? 367 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:51,960 - OK, then. 368 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,760 - Pint of mild, please, Ken. 369 00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:01,880 - Right. 370 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,999 - ♪ You were born with football boots and a suntanned complexion 371 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,119 ♪ You once thought that on reflection 372 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:13,319 ♪ You'd really got it made 373 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,359 ♪ You once thought that on reflection 374 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:18,439 ♪ You'd really got it made 375 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,359 ♪ You once thought that on reflection, oh, yeah 376 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:24,520 ♪ I've really got it made. ♪ 377 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,999 ♪ Rushing through the stars 378 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,000 ♪ Captivated by the worlds beyond 379 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,199 ♪ So far 380 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,320 ♪ Unknown 381 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,599 ♪ Floating in a car 382 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,800 ♪ Past the gates of mustdestroy.com 383 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,159 ♪ You aren't alone 384 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:54,400 ♪ It's a small world and you've grown. ♪ 34832

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