All language subtitles for That 70s Show S06E08 1080p BluRay x264-YELLOWBiRD

- Good morning.
- Try, "Good 1:30."

I'm just so worn out from
carrying around all this tip money.

There you go, Mom.

Why don't you kick up the
thermostat a couple of degrees on me?

Well, thank you, honey.

And you have been
such a big help,

working yourself
nearly to death,

I made you
your special sandwich.

Oh.

The Eric McSweetie.

It's a regular sandwich.
Hold the masculinity.

Oop, oop, oop.

It's almost time for Red's doctor's
appointment. Have to iron his underwear.

No crust? Check. Extra jelly?
Check. My mommy loves me? Check.

Eric, wow, you look beat.

Yeah, I was working
until, like, 1:00 last night.

My poor baby. I know
something that'll cheer you up.

Today, I got my first
bridal magazine.

We can spend the whole
afternoon talking about wedding stuff.

Like the groomsmen
can wear kilts.

Donna, you know how much
I'd love to spend

four or five hours talking
about the wedding,

or clothes, or clothes
for the wedding,

but, God, I'm so beat
from last night.

Okay, well, why don't you
go back to bed

and I'll crawl in
with you after class?

But this time,
sweep the bed for G.I. Joes,

'cause that last thing that
happened, that was unpleasant.

Life is a cabaret, my friend.

We didn't work until 1:00. We
got off at 10:00 and played poker.

Hyde, let's not weigh ourselves
down with the truth here.

When I started
working full-time,

I thought that my life
was gonna be a total grind,

but my mom, Donna,
they can't do enough for me.

Look at this. Heart shaped sandwiches.
Donna's giving me sexy naps.

As God as my witness, I will
never go hungry or horny again.

Will you please wear
the ironed underwear?

I have a reputation to protect.

Eric, you're driving me to my doctor's
appointment. Please put on pants.

Eric is a little tired
from working so late,

so I found someone else
to drive you.

Jump in, Smokey.
Bandit's on the move.

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

Okay, Brooke, here's the thing.

We should date.

Michael, I'm pregnant
with your child.

Pretty much the best
and worst things

about dating have already
happened to us.

Okay, but we missed out
on all the in-between, like...

Okay, we need to spice up

our illegitimate pregnancy
with a little romance.

I mean, look how much
we have in common.

You are having my baby

and I am the father
of your baby.

Okay, look, don't pretend
you wanna go out with me

just because you feel guilty.

Brooke, I wanna go out
with you because you're hot.

Okay, fine. But I'm not hot.
I've gained six pounds.

That's okay 'cause it's
mostly in your boobs.

See, nature does this to keep
us guys around

while you gals chunk out.

Okay, let's get a couple
of things straight.

I don't wanna be here.
You don't wanna be here.

I want to be here.

Fine. I don't wanna be here

and I don't care what you want.

- Okay, then,
are you buckled up?
- Yes.

Because the little blinking man
on the dashboard says you aren't.

Buckle up.

- No.
- Yes.

No. Look, start this car or
I'm gonna pack you in a crate,

take you down to the port, and trade
you for a year's supply of bananas.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You awake?

Well, if I were asleep,
there would be six of you

all making out
with yourselves, so...

I can't believe how late
you have to stay

at the restaurant.

Well, you know that grated
cheese you like so much?

Gets grated the night before.

Yeah, little thing we like
to call "prep," so...

I love it when you
use restaurant talk.

Donna, I have to warn you,
I'm exhausted,

so you're gonna have
to do all the work.

Why should today
be any different?

Okay.

I need to know what to do
on a first date

with a woman
who's carrying my child.

Hold her while she weeps.

Hey, wait, what if you guys came
to dinner with me and Brooke?

- Make it easier to find
stuff to talk about.
- No.

No, man. There's no way
I'm going on a date

with your ex-girlfriend who is now
my girlfriend, and your new girlfriend

who doesn't want
to be your girlfriend

but is pregnant with your child.

It's like hillbilly territory.

- I'll pay.
- I'm in.

Well, then, I have to go
find something to wear.

I mean, I'm happy that Brooke's
gonna have a father for her baby and all,

but I still have to look
prettier than her.

Well, I was woken

from my afternoon nap
by my girlfriend

for some afternoon delight.

After which, I took another
afternoon nap.

You know what I have
right in the palm of my hand?

No one wants to know that.
Just wash up.

The secret of life.

You know what? I'm taking
this one step further, fellas.

I'm gonna get fat.

Yeah, I'll never be strong,

but I think I can be fat.

That's a pretty thought.

Come on, Fez,
don't be scared. Go say hi.

No, he's too fat.

I don't know where his face is.

He can't eat you.
He can't even move. Watch.

That tickles.

Something's poking me.

G.I. Joe! There you are.

Wonder what else is in there.

- Kelso!
- Kelso!

- I thought you moved away.
- I've been living on crumbs.

All right, okay, laugh
all you want. But all I see

is a guy who doesn't have to get
out of bed to go to the bathroom.

And that's beautiful.

Hey, look, there's the
Elks lodge. Pull over.

But I thought we would
celebrate the good checkup.

There's this pie
down at the coffee shop

I've been flirting with
for days.

How about this
for a celebration?

I'm going in there
with my buddies

and you wait in the car.

But that doesn't sound like fun.

Well, that's how
we celebrate in America.

Okay, let's head for home.

- So, now you're not
gonna talk?
- Why should I talk?

My feelings are obviously
of no consequence to you.

All right, maybe I stayed a
little longer than I expected.

Hey, look, how about
we stop for some pie?

- No.
- Oh, come on. Let me get you a pie.

I am not in the mood.

Oh, just let me buy you...

There will be no pie!

Wow, good pot.

There's gotta be like
four or five bucks in there.

Yeah, you guys are going
down. I got a full house.

I mean,

what do I got?

Why don't we bet a lot and see?

Kelso, I know you think
you got a full house,

but you're only
holding two cards.

So I'll raise.

This is great. It's 1:00 in
the morning, I'm not alone,

and I'm not alone.
This is great.

Guys, I don't want to brag.

My belt's getting pretty tight.

I think Operation Fat Eric
is well underway.

What the hell are you doing?

- Donna.
- You told me
you were working.

I brought you brownies because you
told me you were working your ass off.

And now it turns out that
you're spending all the time

we could have spent together
with the guys.

And I gave you daytime sex.

All right!
Who brought brownies?

Is Eric upstairs?

Just look for the lump under
the covers sucking its thumb.

- Hey, you gonna yell?
- No, I'm past yelling.

- What's past yelling?
- It's the dark side
of the moon, my friend.

It's a place so ugly,
if it was a woman,

even you wouldn't
have sex with her.

That's bad.

How can you sleep until noon
after what happened last night?

I'm exhausted from
loving you so much.

You're completely regressing.

You lie around all day
and you act

as if you'd be happy to stay
in your mother's house forever.

Look, Donna, let me
make it up to you.

There's some tip money
on the dresser.

Why don't you go
buy yourself something pretty?

- Oh, God!
- That's gotta hurt!

Don't worry.
We can still hear.

Eric, what is happening to you?

Look, Donna, I'm sorry,
but I'm not regressing.

You gotta understand, I'm
the man of this house now.

Okay, who's ready
for Spidey and a sandwich?

Me!

Mrs. Forman, your son
is a big, lazy child

because you keep babying him.

I don't baby him.

Is there crust on that sandwich?

Well, of course not.

Crusts are icky.
They make Eric sicky.

Oh, my God, I'm ruining him.

Eric, things are going to

change around here, drastically.

Tomorrow, you are getting
a sandwich with the crusts on.

And no more crazy straws.

You will be drinking
your chocolate milk

from a standard straw.

Now, who's hungry?

-I call sandwich
-I call Spidey.

I call sandwich
you haven't made yet.

Okay, Donna,

- I get it. I'm sorry.
- No, that's not gonna cut it.

I've been wearing this engagement
ring so long, it's white under there,

and a little wrinkly.

You haven't brought up
the wedding in weeks.

I stayed home from college
to be with you,

and if I knew you were gonna
act like this, I would have gone.

- You're right.
- I know.

Donna, I know that I'm lucky
to be with you.

Hell, when we go out together,
people think I'm your little brother.

That's true. They say I
shouldn't have you out so late.

You're right. No, you are
absolutely right.

And I'm really,
really sorry, okay?

So, are you still mad at me?

Well, it's kind of hard when
you keep agreeing with me.

- I agree.
- Stop it.

- You're beautiful.
- I will kick your ass.

So, hey, maybe a good way
to break the ice

would be for everyone to tell
a few things about themselves.

I'll go first.

I like make-up and diets,

and Steven, here, likes black
things and throwing stuff at glass.

Okay. Well, I was
valedictorian of my class,

I run marathons,
and I tutor kids in Latin.

Well, I egged
the valedictorian of my class

and a marathon runner
and some kids that took Latin.

This is fun.

So, how do you guys
all know each other?

Well, Michael and I dated
for, like, three years.

Then I stole her from him.

Wait. What?

You never could have
stole her from me

if I hadn't cheated
on her first.

Okay, wait a minute.

That sounds a lot worse
than what it is.

I only cheated on her
with Eric's sister.

Well, and then the rest of the
girls were when we were on a break

'cause I annoyed her.

But none of those girls
were anybody's sister,

except for the two
that were sisters.

He brought up the sisters.

Awesome.

Okay, this was a mistake.
I think I'm gonna go.

No. Brooke, wait. Look...

I've been with a lot
of chicks. A lot.

A lot.

A lot.

Okay, that's not helping.

Okay, Brooke,
let me start over, okay?

We might not be the perfect match,
okay? But I really, really like you.

And I think maybe us having
this baby together is like

fate.

Michael, fate is when two
people meet on a train or in Paris,

not in the bathroom
at a Molly Hatchet concert.

Fate!

Man, never use a word in a fight

if you don't really,
really know what it means.

Still not speaking to me, huh?

Fine, I'll speak.

I spent all day running your
bald, grumpy ass around town

and do I get a thanks? No.

Because you're unpleasant.

You wanna know
why I'm unpleasant?

I just had a heart attack

and now I have to be driven
around like a useless dope

by the idiot
that married my daughter

and gave me the heart attack
in the first place.

But I am also unpleasant

because I just spent the
entire day cooped up in the car

breathing that mustard gas
you call cologne.

But mostly, I'm unpleasant because
that's how it works in this family.

I'm family?

Oh, crap.

Guys, everything
is totally cool.

I promise to stop acting
like such an ass

and give Donna
only presents, not cash.

And why is that?

Because presents are for
girlfriends and cash is for hookers.

- Although...
- You're so good,
I should pay you.

Thank you.

You should have
seen it coming, Forman.

'Cause when you are deeply,
truly happy,

it's a sure sign
you're doing everything wrong.

It's true.
When Steven's unhappy,

I know our relationship
is in good shape.

Well, then, we've been tip-top
since the minute I met you.

Aw.

Yeah, I couldn't be unhappier
about me and Brooke,

so I know I'm doing
the right thing,

'cause the misery is how God
lets you know you're on track.

And how. Red and I
are miserable together

and that crazy bastard
is nuts about me.

Donna, what are you doing
the day after your birthday?

Nursing a hangover.

You might wanna stick to
light beer, 'cause I was thinking

maybe we could
get married that day.

Oh, my God,
are you setting a date?

You can't set a date
in the circle.

I can and I did.

I love you.

There's no groping
in the circle.

We made that rule for Fez
but it goes for everyone.

Oh, come on, Eric, take charge.

Grab her like you mean it.
I'll do it.

- Brooke.
- Holy crap.

That's the girl
you got pregnant?

She's hot.

Do you think we could
talk alone for a minute?

Sure, I'll go, but just know, if
it doesn't work out with him,

I've got dental
for all dependents.

- You're funny.
- I love you.

Bye. Got, you know,
things to do.

Look, I don't know why
what happened happened.

I mean, it could have been fate.

It could have been the Colt 45s.

But I do know
you're being very sweet

and I could probably use a hand,

'cause, to tell you the truth,
I'm kind of scared.

That's perfect,
'cause I'm terrified.

I know. I mean, it's crazy.

- We're having a baby!
- I know!

- And we have no clue!
- None at all!

All right, so,
can I call you tomorrow?

Yes.

Before you go, I just
wanted to say I don't love you.

I just kind of get nervous
in front of women.

I blurt.

I understand.
I think it's very sweet.

I love you.

What is wrong with me?

"Hi, Roy." "Hello, Brooke."

"Hi, Roy." "Hello, Brooke."

"Hi, Roy." "Hello, Brooke."

I got this.

- Hi, Roy.
- I love you.

Excuse me.

- Roy, that's the freezer.
- I know.