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1
00:00:03,988 --> 00:00:06,910
So, you gotta work at the
radio station on Christmas Eve?
2
00:00:06,951 --> 00:00:08,705
God, it's like,
doesn't anyone respect
3
00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:10,624
the sanctity of that holy night?
4
00:00:10,666 --> 00:00:12,061
We were gonna get
drunk and fool around
5
00:00:12,085 --> 00:00:14,757
behind your dad's manger scene.
6
00:00:14,798 --> 00:00:16,634
But this is my first
shot at deejaying.
7
00:00:16,676 --> 00:00:19,431
If I do well, Hot Donna
could be the regular DJ
8
00:00:19,472 --> 00:00:23,562
on Tuesdays from
1:00 to 5:00 a.m.
9
00:00:23,604 --> 00:00:26,108
Every insomniac and burn-out
in town is gonna know who I am.
10
00:00:26,149 --> 00:00:28,779
Well, say hello to
your target audience.
11
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:31,700
Play more Zeppelin.
12
00:00:32,993 --> 00:00:35,122
You guys, I've got
some terrible news.
13
00:00:35,163 --> 00:00:37,085
I've just been kicked off
the cheerleading squad.
14
00:00:37,126 --> 00:00:38,670
Oh, my gentle Jesus!
Oh, no!
15
00:00:38,712 --> 00:00:41,006
Oh, why?
16
00:00:41,048 --> 00:00:44,178
Jackie, I know how you feel. I
once got kicked off a cheerleader.
17
00:00:46,642 --> 00:00:48,686
Well, I need to get
back on that squad.
18
00:00:48,728 --> 00:00:50,898
They might be a bunch of
pom-pom waving bitches,
19
00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,860
but they're all I know.
20
00:00:52,902 --> 00:00:56,324
Steven, you've gotta take me to the
Christmas Eve dance tomorrow night.
21
00:00:56,365 --> 00:00:58,535
Uh, no.
22
00:00:58,577 --> 00:01:01,165
I can either dance with you or
spend Christmas Eve with you.
23
00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:02,751
Cannot do a combo.
24
00:01:02,793 --> 00:01:05,714
Steven, they will never take me
back if I don't show up all proud.
25
00:01:05,756 --> 00:01:07,132
If you could just see No.
26
00:01:07,174 --> 00:01:08,611
That this is something that's
really important to me, No.
27
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,363
Then you'd understand that,
as my boyfriend, you should go.
28
00:01:10,387 --> 00:01:11,640
No!
Fine.
29
00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:13,392
Please?
30
00:01:14,854 --> 00:01:16,063
Fine.
Okay.
31
00:01:17,274 --> 00:01:18,359
Hey, shut up.
32
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,042
If I'm going,
you guys are coming with me.
33
00:01:20,070 --> 00:01:23,535
Oh, no. I cannot go
to a high-school dance.
34
00:01:23,576 --> 00:01:26,540
I'm gonna be a father soon, I
gotta start acting more mature.
35
00:01:26,581 --> 00:01:28,041
All right, orange!
36
00:01:31,798 --> 00:01:33,926
Yeah, I'm not going either.
37
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,488
The football team and I have
a little disagreement.
38
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,141
They think it's funny
to stuff me into a locker,
39
00:01:39,435 --> 00:01:41,898
and I disagree.
40
00:01:41,939 --> 00:01:44,443
Yeah, man, the day I
graduated, I promised myself
41
00:01:44,485 --> 00:01:47,281
I would never set foot in
that godforsaken place again.
42
00:01:47,949 --> 00:01:49,577
Great news, kids.
43
00:01:49,618 --> 00:01:52,790
Red's gonna be the Santa down
at the mall on Christmas Eve,
44
00:01:52,832 --> 00:01:55,628
and I've signed you all up
to be his little helpers.
45
00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:02,431
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.
46
00:02:02,472 --> 00:02:04,493
We're all going to the
Christmas Eve dance at school.
47
00:02:04,517 --> 00:02:06,103
Yeah!
48
00:02:09,693 --> 00:02:11,905
♪ Hanging out
49
00:02:13,657 --> 00:02:15,326
♪ Down the street
50
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,124
♪ The same old thing
51
00:02:20,794 --> 00:02:23,131
♪ We did last week
52
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:28,098
♪ Not a thing to do
53
00:02:28,139 --> 00:02:32,020
♪ But talk to you
54
00:02:32,063 --> 00:02:33,690
♪ We're all all right
55
00:02:33,732 --> 00:02:35,485
♪ We're all all right
56
00:02:36,319 --> 00:02:38,155
Hello, Wisconsin!
57
00:02:46,127 --> 00:02:47,420
Don't go away, kids,
58
00:02:47,462 --> 00:02:49,548
A Year Without A Santa Claus
will be right back.
59
00:02:49,590 --> 00:02:53,097
Man, Heat Miser's badass.
60
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:55,200
So, what time are you coming
down to the station tonight?
61
00:02:55,224 --> 00:02:57,227
Let's see, the Christmas
dance starts at 8:00,
62
00:02:57,269 --> 00:02:58,981
so I'll just come as
soon as it gets lame.
63
00:02:59,023 --> 00:03:00,566
Say, uh, 8:02.
64
00:03:01,944 --> 00:03:03,404
Yeah. Hey, you know what?
65
00:03:03,446 --> 00:03:04,925
I'll even bring you
something sweet to munch on.
66
00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:06,827
Oh, and some cookies.
67
00:03:07,704 --> 00:03:09,623
What? Oh, what?
68
00:03:09,665 --> 00:03:11,334
Okay, now, please...
69
00:03:12,628 --> 00:03:14,506
Stand still.
70
00:03:14,548 --> 00:03:16,927
Nobody likes a Santa
with plumber's butt.
71
00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:19,430
Why am I doing this?
72
00:03:19,472 --> 00:03:21,810
Because I wanna
force some good cheer
73
00:03:21,852 --> 00:03:24,982
through your clogged arteries
and into your cranky heart.
74
00:03:26,108 --> 00:03:28,028
Yeah, it's like Christmas Drano.
75
00:03:30,615 --> 00:03:33,453
I can't believe you're
replacing me as Santa, Red.
76
00:03:33,495 --> 00:03:36,250
Three years and now
management says I'm too jolly.
77
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:38,795
What do you want, Bob?
78
00:03:38,837 --> 00:03:40,339
I want to be Santa.
79
00:03:40,381 --> 00:03:42,886
Well, it's Red's turn this year.
80
00:03:42,928 --> 00:03:45,639
Santa could use an elf.
81
00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:48,853
Fine, but I don't wanna sit in the
back and pretend to assemble toys.
82
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,191
I want to participate.
83
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:53,987
Yeah, Bob,
you gotta keep your dignity.
84
00:03:54,029 --> 00:03:55,656
If you're in an elf costume,
85
00:03:55,698 --> 00:03:59,495
you don't want that tiny
hammer making you look silly.
86
00:03:59,537 --> 00:04:01,415
Steven, for the
Christmas Eve dance... No.
87
00:04:01,457 --> 00:04:02,727
What do you think
about this tie? No.
88
00:04:02,751 --> 00:04:03,836
Maybe this jacket...
No.
89
00:04:03,878 --> 00:04:04,754
How about a blazer?
No.
90
00:04:04,796 --> 00:04:06,298
Fine... Bolo?
91
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:08,343
Fine.
Okay.
92
00:04:15,438 --> 00:04:17,859
Okay, Brooke,
I made a list of reasons
93
00:04:17,901 --> 00:04:20,780
why I'm gonna make a
great dad for our little baby.
94
00:04:22,158 --> 00:04:24,620
Okay, number one, I am a waiter.
95
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,503
So we'll never
run out of straws.
96
00:04:29,544 --> 00:04:32,300
See? Look,
kids love straws.
97
00:04:33,718 --> 00:04:38,017
Michael, I really appreciate
the gesture, but no thanks.
98
00:04:38,058 --> 00:04:41,396
Seriously,
I think if we just hang out,
99
00:04:41,438 --> 00:04:43,734
you'll see that I'm getting
a lot more mature.
100
00:04:43,776 --> 00:04:46,698
I mean, just the other day
I watched golf and took a nap.
101
00:04:48,116 --> 00:04:50,370
Look, Michael, if we
weren't in this situation,
102
00:04:50,411 --> 00:04:52,623
I think you'd be
a really good friend.
103
00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:55,712
I mean, you're nice,
you bring me stuff,
104
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:58,967
dogs love you.
105
00:04:59,009 --> 00:05:02,472
I just think we should limit
our time together to
106
00:05:02,514 --> 00:05:03,892
almost none.
107
00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:07,439
Okay, how about we make a
compromise between "almost none"
108
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,069
and what I want to do,
which is "it"?
109
00:05:12,531 --> 00:05:16,204
Okay, if you want, you can
help me hang decorations tonight
110
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,123
for the library's
Christmas party.
111
00:05:18,165 --> 00:05:20,211
Spend Christmas
Eve in a library?
112
00:05:21,295 --> 00:05:23,215
Why don't you just
kick me in the 'nads?
113
00:05:32,772 --> 00:05:35,026
Okay, here comes Julie,
the head cheerleader.
114
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,862
Now, Steven, make me look good.
115
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,282
Hello, Jackie.
116
00:05:38,323 --> 00:05:39,867
Hello, Julie.
117
00:05:39,909 --> 00:05:42,453
This is my boyfriend,
Steven J. Hyde III.
118
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,458
First two are in jail.
119
00:05:47,546 --> 00:05:52,179
He pretends to be poor.
Isn't that funny?
120
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:54,266
I have to say, I thought
you'd be too embarrassed
121
00:05:54,308 --> 00:05:55,643
to show your face here tonight.
122
00:05:55,684 --> 00:05:59,023
Well, to be honest, I only
came to see your outfit,
123
00:05:59,065 --> 00:06:01,652
so I'd know what not to wear.
124
00:06:01,693 --> 00:06:03,614
Well, let me show you the back.
125
00:06:08,037 --> 00:06:10,250
If you're trying to get back
on the cheerleading squad,
126
00:06:10,292 --> 00:06:11,543
shouldn't you be nice to her?
127
00:06:11,585 --> 00:06:14,131
Bitchiness is the only language
cheerleaders understand.
128
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:15,675
These are bad girls,
129
00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:17,846
they need to be punished,
and they know it.
130
00:06:19,849 --> 00:06:23,271
Yeah, this is way better than
hanging out at the library with Brooke.
131
00:06:23,313 --> 00:06:25,358
Lot of great memories in here.
132
00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:27,527
Did it in there.
133
00:06:27,569 --> 00:06:29,990
Did it back there.
134
00:06:30,032 --> 00:06:32,619
Got caught by Miss Tompkins
doing it down there.
135
00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:37,378
Did it with Miss
Tompkins over there.
136
00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:39,047
Everyone, look for
football players.
137
00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:41,758
I cannot spend another
holiday in a locker.
138
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:45,098
And this time, if I don't
show up for two days,
139
00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:46,726
come look for me.
140
00:06:48,144 --> 00:06:50,190
Oh, my God!
Eric Forman?
141
00:06:50,232 --> 00:06:52,443
You look great,
I love your shirt.
142
00:06:52,485 --> 00:06:55,031
Really?
143
00:06:55,073 --> 00:06:58,412
I wore this shirt for four
years, and no one said a thing.
144
00:06:58,453 --> 00:07:00,498
I guess now you
really fill it out.
145
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,584
Thanks.
146
00:07:05,756 --> 00:07:08,302
I'm, like, up to 17
push-ups a night so...
147
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,807
No, I don't think that's it.
148
00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:14,312
I think it's because you're
not a high-school boy anymore.
149
00:07:14,354 --> 00:07:15,856
Yeah, you're 18 now.
150
00:07:15,898 --> 00:07:18,110
You've seen and done it all.
151
00:07:18,151 --> 00:07:20,071
No, no, I...
152
00:07:20,113 --> 00:07:21,490
Yes.
153
00:07:22,784 --> 00:07:25,247
Yes, I have.
154
00:07:25,289 --> 00:07:29,086
Hey, you need to watch out,
okay? Girls are talking to you.
155
00:07:29,128 --> 00:07:32,467
I think there might be
a practical joke in the works.
156
00:07:32,508 --> 00:07:34,845
No, man, I don't think so.
157
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,807
I think it's 'cause I graduated.
158
00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:39,060
Hyde, am I cool now?
159
00:07:39,102 --> 00:07:41,648
Well, you're cool
like margarine is butter.
160
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:44,736
Close, but there's
a little aftertaste.
161
00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:56,964
♪ Women to the left of me
162
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,346
♪ And women to the right
163
00:08:01,221 --> 00:08:03,141
♪ Ain't got no gun
164
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,479
♪ Ain't got no knife
165
00:08:05,521 --> 00:08:07,731
♪ Don't you start no fight
166
00:08:10,278 --> 00:08:14,785
♪ 'Cause I'm T.N.T.,
I'm dynamite
167
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:18,500
♪ T.N.T.
and I'll win the fight
168
00:08:18,542 --> 00:08:22,422
♪ T.N.T. I'm a power load
169
00:08:22,464 --> 00:08:26,721
♪ T.N.T. watch me explode
170
00:08:36,571 --> 00:08:40,117
♪ I'm dirty,
mean and mighty unclean ♪
171
00:08:41,579 --> 00:08:43,749
You're in the middle of
a Christmas Eve rock block
172
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,837
on WFPP with me, Hot Donna.
173
00:08:50,093 --> 00:08:51,512
That was bacon.
174
00:08:53,348 --> 00:08:56,604
I recorded that
myself earlier today.
175
00:08:56,645 --> 00:08:59,775
Stay tuned for more Christmas
classics with me, Hot Donna.
176
00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:04,866
I'm sorry,
but that is just too cool.
177
00:09:09,874 --> 00:09:12,086
Okay, Mr Claus,
178
00:09:14,006 --> 00:09:16,343
let's hear your
best Santa laugh.
179
00:09:16,385 --> 00:09:17,679
Ho, ho.
180
00:09:19,432 --> 00:09:22,103
You left out a "ho", Red.
181
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,815
It's three "ho's". Did you
even read the Santa manual?
182
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:28,614
Okay, Red, I'm sure
you'll do fine.
183
00:09:28,656 --> 00:09:33,830
Just remember, Santa
is a cheerful, jolly fellow,
184
00:09:33,871 --> 00:09:35,874
who never calls
a child "dumbass".
185
00:09:38,254 --> 00:09:39,757
So, what do you
want for Christmas?
186
00:09:39,799 --> 00:09:41,384
I want a slinky.
187
00:09:41,426 --> 00:09:45,265
A slinky? Oh, you'll get
sick of a slinky in a day.
188
00:09:45,307 --> 00:09:47,603
I'm putting you
down for flash cards.
189
00:09:47,645 --> 00:09:50,148
Math, that's what you're
getting for Christmas.
190
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,609
Next.
191
00:09:52,486 --> 00:09:54,071
I want a pony.
192
00:09:54,113 --> 00:09:55,406
Ponies die.
193
00:09:56,908 --> 00:09:59,163
What you need is
a good pair of boots.
194
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:01,917
Go on, keep it moving.
195
00:10:02,918 --> 00:10:05,005
I want a flying car.
196
00:10:05,047 --> 00:10:07,593
I did, too,
when I was your age, kid.
197
00:10:07,635 --> 00:10:11,057
But then the future came
and took my dreams away.
198
00:10:12,934 --> 00:10:14,772
Just like it's gonna take yours.
199
00:10:16,775 --> 00:10:19,445
Okay, okay, little
girl, you know what?
200
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,910
I bet, if you're extra good,
you'll get your flying car one day.
201
00:10:24,036 --> 00:10:26,207
Don't listen to her.
It's a lie.
202
00:10:26,249 --> 00:10:27,375
Bad Santa.
203
00:10:33,301 --> 00:10:36,557
Yep, life after
graduation sure is sweet.
204
00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:40,229
Some days I wake
up and I'm like,
205
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:42,859
"Hey, I'm having
ice-cream for breakfast."
206
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,531
And you know what? I do.
207
00:10:46,908 --> 00:10:48,952
Wow!
208
00:10:48,993 --> 00:10:51,791
So, what have you two
been up to since graduation?
209
00:10:51,832 --> 00:10:53,752
She talked to me.
What do I do?
210
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,965
Yeah, I got
a librarian pregnant.
211
00:10:58,551 --> 00:10:59,970
Damn! Good answer!
212
00:11:01,556 --> 00:11:06,021
So, like, Eric, what are
your plans for the future?
213
00:11:06,063 --> 00:11:10,445
Well, I guess I'm just gonna
keep on keeping on, you know?
214
00:11:12,532 --> 00:11:14,368
I'm thinking
about buying a boat.
215
00:11:16,872 --> 00:11:20,504
Okay, we're back, and if
my boyfriend's listening,
216
00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:22,924
you're late and
I'm a little worried
217
00:11:22,966 --> 00:11:25,428
you're trapped in a
snowdrift or something.
218
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:28,851
So, honey, if you're cold,
I'm with you, baby.
219
00:11:30,018 --> 00:11:31,689
Okay, so let's
take some requests.
220
00:11:31,730 --> 00:11:33,399
Hello, you're on the air.
221
00:11:33,441 --> 00:11:36,613
Hi, I'd like to dedicate He's
the Greatest Dancer by Sister Sledge
222
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:39,618
to Eric Forman, the coolest
guy at the Christmas dance.
223
00:11:42,121 --> 00:11:45,084
What? He's still at the dance?
224
00:11:45,126 --> 00:11:47,421
Sorry, I have to go. He's
telling us about his boat.
225
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,303
That sneaky bastard.
226
00:11:53,223 --> 00:11:55,978
That sneaky bastard,
Santa Claus, is on his way
227
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:58,941
with a non-stop block
of classic Christmas tunes.
228
00:12:01,695 --> 00:12:06,036
And remember, you're listening
to WFPP, with me, Hot Donna.
229
00:12:09,081 --> 00:12:11,002
You hear that, Eric Forman?
230
00:12:11,044 --> 00:12:13,924
That's not bacon, that's your
ass when I get a hold of you.
231
00:12:26,069 --> 00:12:28,321
Hey, I brought you
something sweet to munch on.
232
00:12:28,363 --> 00:12:29,950
Oh! And some cookies.
233
00:12:32,036 --> 00:12:34,791
Man, I knew that was funny.
234
00:12:34,832 --> 00:12:37,545
Man, I can't stop
thinking about Brooke.
235
00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:40,550
I mean, both you and me know
that every girl in here wants me,
236
00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:44,098
except for the couple of
weirdoes that seem to want you,
237
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,850
but I don't care
about any of them.
238
00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:48,288
Look, Kelso, are you sure you
don't just have a crush on Brooke
239
00:12:48,312 --> 00:12:50,608
because she's a librarian,
240
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:54,030
and you've seen some
librarian layout in Playboy?
241
00:12:54,072 --> 00:12:56,157
Eric, I'm sure
that's part of it.
242
00:12:58,329 --> 00:13:00,833
Whatever.
I'm going to the library.
243
00:13:00,874 --> 00:13:02,837
Whoa, that felt weird to say.
244
00:13:05,465 --> 00:13:07,928
Steven, you don't look like
you're having a good time.
245
00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:09,639
I'm not.
246
00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:12,644
I know, but I need
you to act like you are.
247
00:13:12,686 --> 00:13:14,105
Just think about
stuff you enjoy,
248
00:13:14,147 --> 00:13:17,986
like shoplifting or dirty jeans.
249
00:13:18,028 --> 00:13:22,242
Jackie, how come you never told
me you were dating an older man?
250
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:23,912
Well, I guess I was
just distracted
251
00:13:23,954 --> 00:13:26,166
by the life I lead
outside of cheerleading,
252
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,169
where I do fun and
glamorous things,
253
00:13:28,209 --> 00:13:30,213
with my older,
mysterious boyfriend.
254
00:13:32,092 --> 00:13:34,095
That's true.
Why, just last week,
255
00:13:34,137 --> 00:13:35,806
we sat on the couch
and had a fight.
256
00:13:36,766 --> 00:13:38,019
I'm jealous.
257
00:13:40,772 --> 00:13:42,316
This dance sucks.
258
00:13:44,571 --> 00:13:47,533
None of the girls remember me.
They all think I'm a waiter.
259
00:13:49,244 --> 00:13:51,916
Hey, I got an idea how you can
get these girls' attention.
260
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:55,213
Oh, boy, does it involve me
hiding in the girls' bathroom?
261
00:13:55,714 --> 00:13:56,924
No.
262
00:13:56,965 --> 00:13:58,718
Okay, we'll try your way.
263
00:14:03,727 --> 00:14:07,315
And that's what really
happened in Vietnam.
264
00:14:09,069 --> 00:14:10,696
I don't understand.
265
00:14:10,738 --> 00:14:13,117
Neither do I, kid.
Neither do I.
266
00:14:14,912 --> 00:14:17,707
Okay, little boy, time to
say goodbye to Santa.
267
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:20,378
What's an ambush?
268
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:24,385
It's a pretty bush
with yellow flowers.
269
00:14:27,306 --> 00:14:30,311
Kitty, I gotta tell you,
I'm good with kids.
270
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,316
I really taught him something.
271
00:14:33,357 --> 00:14:37,240
You know, I think I'm beginning
to feel the Christmas spirit.
272
00:14:37,282 --> 00:14:38,783
Well, I'm glad, Red.
273
00:14:38,826 --> 00:14:40,620
But let's try
telling a Christmas story
274
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,332
where nobody gets
caught in a firefight.
275
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,509
Bob, what the hell
are you doing?
276
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:52,055
You're depressing the kids.
I'm Santa now.
277
00:14:52,973 --> 00:14:55,477
Get out of my chair, Bob,
278
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:58,107
or you're gonna get a
candy cane up your chimney.
279
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:00,694
I'm not moving.
280
00:15:00,735 --> 00:15:03,782
Kitty, hold my silly red hat.
281
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:09,876
You're right, I really am funny.
282
00:15:15,384 --> 00:15:17,930
What do you think you're
doing? Eric, you never showed up.
283
00:15:17,972 --> 00:15:19,599
I was worried about you.
284
00:15:19,641 --> 00:15:21,895
Well, I'm sorry, I guess
I lost track of time.
285
00:15:21,936 --> 00:15:24,399
Maybe it's because
I am a god to these people.
286
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,571
Donna, they like this shirt.
287
00:15:27,612 --> 00:15:29,407
This is a horrible shirt.
288
00:15:30,617 --> 00:15:32,162
I gave you that shirt.
289
00:15:33,915 --> 00:15:37,003
I know. I love this shirt.
290
00:15:37,045 --> 00:15:40,008
Eric, I can't believe you let
yourself get a swelled head
291
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:42,321
just because a couple of
high-school kids think you're cool.
292
00:15:42,345 --> 00:15:45,392
Excuse me, aren't you Hot Donna?
293
00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:47,771
You were so awesome
on the radio today.
294
00:15:47,812 --> 00:15:49,106
You really think?
295
00:15:52,069 --> 00:15:54,073
Wait, what's going on?
296
00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:55,449
I think we're in for a treat.
297
00:16:11,684 --> 00:16:16,484
♪ I'll have a blue Christmas ♪
298
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,961
Nice decorations.
299
00:16:28,003 --> 00:16:30,840
I see you're using one
of the better-tasting glues.
300
00:16:33,178 --> 00:16:34,805
What are you doing here?
301
00:16:34,847 --> 00:16:37,017
Oh, I just thought,
instead of having
302
00:16:37,058 --> 00:16:39,188
a fun Christmas
Eve somewhere else,
303
00:16:39,229 --> 00:16:41,983
I'd rather have
a boring one here with you.
304
00:16:43,319 --> 00:16:46,407
But we could have some fun.
305
00:16:47,409 --> 00:16:49,620
Michael, I've told you before,
306
00:16:49,662 --> 00:16:51,308
just because you come
to the library after hours,
307
00:16:51,332 --> 00:16:53,711
does not mean I'm gonna
walk around topless.
308
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,340
But it's Christmas.
309
00:16:59,762 --> 00:17:02,683
Oh, here let me help you
with the decorations.
310
00:17:02,725 --> 00:17:05,938
Pregnant women should not
be standing on their tiptoes,
311
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:08,568
'cause the baby will
come out all cross-eyed.
312
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,992
Listen, if you think you're
gonna get me interested in you
313
00:17:13,034 --> 00:17:15,454
by being cute and
making me laugh...
314
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,045
Well, it's probably gonna work.
315
00:17:21,047 --> 00:17:22,674
But if you screw this up,
316
00:17:22,716 --> 00:17:26,264
I am gonna ruin your credit with
thousands of dollars in library fines.
317
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,308
Fair enough.
318
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:32,023
Well, what say we seal
this newfound friendship
319
00:17:32,065 --> 00:17:34,527
with a round of topless
ornament hanging?
320
00:17:35,946 --> 00:17:38,617
Okay, fine!
Whatever you wanna do.
321
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:40,620
Topless.
322
00:17:45,878 --> 00:17:49,092
This mall is only big
enough for one Santa, Bob.
323
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:52,097
Tell you what, you name
five reindeer and I'll step down.
324
00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:55,311
I can name five toes that
are gonna be in your ass.
325
00:17:55,352 --> 00:17:57,482
Oh, for goodness' sake!
326
00:17:57,523 --> 00:18:00,653
Why don't we stop calling it
Christmas and call it "Assmas"?
327
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,201
Fine, I'll go.
328
00:18:05,243 --> 00:18:08,916
I only got worked up because
Joanne's gone, Donna's working.
329
00:18:08,958 --> 00:18:12,339
The only people I have at home
are my two friends, Egg and Nog.
330
00:18:14,175 --> 00:18:15,927
All right, fine.
331
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:18,307
You wanna be Santa, go ahead.
332
00:18:18,349 --> 00:18:19,683
Thanks, Red.
333
00:18:19,725 --> 00:18:21,312
Yeah, it's all for the best.
334
00:18:21,354 --> 00:18:25,610
I've already eaten about two
pounds of fake beard as it is.
335
00:18:25,652 --> 00:18:29,367
There he is. Santa's the one who
told me that communists hate God.
336
00:18:33,414 --> 00:18:34,791
Gotta go, Santa.
337
00:18:36,836 --> 00:18:40,133
Merry Christmas, Bob.
Mrs Claus needs a drink.
338
00:18:43,305 --> 00:18:46,143
And then I push a button,
and it sounds like bacon.
339
00:18:48,523 --> 00:18:51,694
This is so awesome.
We're like a celebrity couple.
340
00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:54,781
It's intoxicating.
341
00:18:54,823 --> 00:18:56,703
Donna, it is a heady brew.
342
00:18:58,079 --> 00:19:02,294
Hey, let's go drink beer
in front of some sophomores.
343
00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:05,508
Jackie, in light of you showing
up tonight with your boyfriend,
344
00:19:05,550 --> 00:19:08,346
who, by the way, is
totally cool and a fox...
345
00:19:08,388 --> 00:19:09,765
Big newsflash there.
346
00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:15,357
...I'd like to invite you
to rejoin the cheer squad.
347
00:19:15,399 --> 00:19:17,026
Really?
Yeah.
348
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,163
Huh.
349
00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,667
You know, I don't think I wanna
be a cheerleader anymore.
350
00:19:26,709 --> 00:19:28,503
But we hugged and jumped.
351
00:19:30,674 --> 00:19:32,885
Well, I'm gonna have to
take back that hug and jump
352
00:19:32,927 --> 00:19:34,096
with a pout and a shrug.
353
00:19:38,729 --> 00:19:41,692
Are you telling me I came
to this hellhole for nothing?
354
00:19:41,734 --> 00:19:44,112
No, not for nothing, Steven.
355
00:19:44,154 --> 00:19:46,659
I realize these girls
aren't my friends anymore.
356
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:48,495
I learned something
about myself.
357
00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:50,122
Oh, well, isn't that...
358
00:19:53,043 --> 00:19:57,343
Okay, well, if it makes you feel
any better, I get to keep the uniform.
359
00:19:57,384 --> 00:19:58,844
Yeah, that helps.
Yeah.
360
00:20:01,683 --> 00:20:04,103
You set me up! "Sing a
song, they'll all love you."
361
00:20:04,145 --> 00:20:06,231
Well, I'm gonna spend
Christmas in a locker.
362
00:20:53,768 --> 00:20:55,520
Oh, crap, I'm still on the air!
363
00:21:11,421 --> 00:21:12,965
Jigsaw puzzle.
364
00:21:16,805 --> 00:21:17,973
Baseball glove.
365
00:21:21,228 --> 00:21:22,648
Barbie doll tea set.
366
00:21:23,690 --> 00:21:24,901
Wow, you're good at this.
367
00:21:24,943 --> 00:21:26,737
Yeah, I've had
a little practice.
368
00:21:26,779 --> 00:21:27,989
Ant farm.
369
00:21:32,580 --> 00:21:33,999
It's a Lone Ranger cap gun set.
28066
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