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1
00:00:01,399 --> 00:00:03,586
♪♪♪
2
00:00:03,610 --> 00:00:04,796
So get this...
3
00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:06,131
I got fired.
4
00:00:06,155 --> 00:00:08,133
God, I never thought
I'd say this,
5
00:00:08,157 --> 00:00:10,217
but apparently,
I'm not good enough
6
00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:11,845
for the dog food factory.
7
00:00:11,869 --> 00:00:14,889
I though you'd say that.
8
00:00:14,913 --> 00:00:16,307
Well, honey, don't worry.
9
00:00:16,331 --> 00:00:18,977
We'll get along fine
without your paycheck.
10
00:00:19,001 --> 00:00:21,395
Instead of going to the movies,
we'll watch TV.
11
00:00:21,419 --> 00:00:25,650
Instead of eating popcorn,
we'll lick salt.
12
00:00:25,674 --> 00:00:27,735
I don't know
it's like,
13
00:00:27,759 --> 00:00:29,487
why would
joanne fire me?
14
00:00:29,511 --> 00:00:31,114
Bob, she's your girlfriend.
Did she say anything?
15
00:00:31,138 --> 00:00:35,368
Eric, ix-nay
on the oanne-Jay.
16
00:00:35,392 --> 00:00:38,038
Donna, you know I don't
understand pig Latin.
17
00:00:38,062 --> 00:00:41,124
Bob, what is
joanne's problem?
18
00:00:41,148 --> 00:00:44,209
Eric, "ix-nay"
means "shut up."
19
00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,337
It's okay, honey.
I can talk about it.
20
00:00:46,361 --> 00:00:48,089
Me and joanne
broke up.
21
00:00:48,113 --> 00:00:51,240
And I didn't
see it coming.
22
00:00:53,118 --> 00:00:55,722
Bob, what did I tell you
last week?
23
00:00:55,746 --> 00:00:59,017
Don't cry
in your kitchen?
24
00:00:59,041 --> 00:01:01,186
And I didn't mean
just that day.
25
00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:03,104
I meant always.
26
00:01:03,128 --> 00:01:06,215
I'd better go, then.
27
00:01:07,507 --> 00:01:10,611
Nice going,
ackass-Jay.
28
00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:13,907
Ackass-Jay?
29
00:01:13,931 --> 00:01:17,744
Oh! Jackass.
30
00:01:17,768 --> 00:01:20,080
Well, honey, I don't think
you're a jackass.
31
00:01:20,104 --> 00:01:22,957
I think
you're a Jack-angel.
32
00:01:22,981 --> 00:01:26,086
Hey, mom, look, I know
you're worried about money,
33
00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:28,253
with dad not being
able to work,
34
00:01:28,277 --> 00:01:30,215
but I want you to know i'm
gonna get right back out there
35
00:01:30,239 --> 00:01:32,466
and get a better job,
a high-paying job.
36
00:01:32,490 --> 00:01:35,762
Oh, sure, just go down to
the bureau of high-paying jobs.
37
00:01:35,786 --> 00:01:37,722
You can't miss it.
38
00:01:37,746 --> 00:01:40,516
It's right next to
the pie-in-the-sky office.
39
00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:42,560
Jackass.
40
00:01:42,584 --> 00:01:46,689
♪♪♪
41
00:01:46,713 --> 00:01:49,943
Oh, really? Thank you.
42
00:01:49,967 --> 00:01:52,319
Well, the job search
is going great.
43
00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:54,155
I think I have a shot
at washing an old man's back
44
00:01:54,179 --> 00:01:56,056
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
45
00:01:58,225 --> 00:02:00,828
They were looking for a
waiter down at the restaurant.
46
00:02:00,852 --> 00:02:05,041
Whoa. Why'd you tell
him? I'm up for that job.
47
00:02:05,065 --> 00:02:06,667
That's why I told him.
48
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,753
No, no, no.
49
00:02:08,777 --> 00:02:11,005
Look, Eric, I need this
job way more than you do.
50
00:02:11,029 --> 00:02:12,590
You don't have
a baby on the way.
51
00:02:12,614 --> 00:02:15,301
But I do have
a family to support.
52
00:02:15,325 --> 00:02:17,386
And if I don't keep
the booze flowing,
53
00:02:17,410 --> 00:02:19,430
they're gonna get violent.
54
00:02:19,454 --> 00:02:22,267
Well, look,
55
00:02:22,291 --> 00:02:23,517
the only way Brooke
is gonna let me be
56
00:02:23,541 --> 00:02:26,146
a part of my kid's
life is if I prove to her
57
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:27,814
that I'm responsible,
and a promotion
58
00:02:27,838 --> 00:02:29,565
at the restaurant
would impress her.
59
00:02:29,589 --> 00:02:33,885
I mean, busboy's a job,
but waiter is a career.
60
00:02:35,553 --> 00:02:37,490
Okay, well,
then you know what?
61
00:02:37,514 --> 00:02:39,533
We'll just both
go down there, apply,
62
00:02:39,557 --> 00:02:40,827
and may
the best man win.
63
00:02:40,851 --> 00:02:42,578
No, I want it.
64
00:02:42,602 --> 00:02:44,998
♪♪♪
65
00:02:45,022 --> 00:02:50,211
♪ hangin' out ♪
66
00:02:50,235 --> 00:02:53,965
♪ down the street ♪
67
00:02:53,989 --> 00:02:57,927
♪ the same old thing ♪
68
00:02:57,951 --> 00:03:01,097
♪ we did last week ♪
69
00:03:01,121 --> 00:03:05,768
♪ not a thing to do ♪
70
00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:09,105
♪ but talk to you ♪
71
00:03:09,129 --> 00:03:11,024
♪ we're all all right ♪
72
00:03:11,048 --> 00:03:12,942
♪ we're all all right ♪♪
73
00:03:12,966 --> 00:03:16,385
Man: Hello, Wisconsin!
74
00:03:21,432 --> 00:03:22,785
♪♪♪
75
00:03:22,809 --> 00:03:25,330
Laurie!
76
00:03:25,354 --> 00:03:28,499
Well, look what
the whore dragged in.
77
00:03:28,523 --> 00:03:31,376
Herself.
78
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,254
Need I remind you
that you are married?
79
00:03:33,278 --> 00:03:34,672
Oh, that's okay.
80
00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:37,157
The guy from last night
was married, too.
81
00:03:38,616 --> 00:03:40,386
What is your problem?
82
00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:43,181
Are you two
at it again?
83
00:03:43,205 --> 00:03:44,724
Your green card
is on the way.
84
00:03:44,748 --> 00:03:46,726
I thought
this marriage was over.
85
00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:48,644
Laurie, I gave you $50
last week to go down
86
00:03:48,668 --> 00:03:50,730
to the courthouse
and file for divorce.
87
00:03:50,754 --> 00:03:52,481
What happened?
88
00:03:52,505 --> 00:03:55,442
Well, I had to get a new
makeup mirror and some wine.
89
00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:59,322
Tomorrow, we're going
to the courthouse.
90
00:03:59,346 --> 00:04:02,158
Hmm. The courthouse
is across town.
91
00:04:02,182 --> 00:04:04,535
I wonder if you can make
it all the way there
92
00:04:04,559 --> 00:04:06,329
without sleeping
with someone.
93
00:04:06,353 --> 00:04:09,522
I bet I can make it there
without sleeping with you.
94
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:15,213
Bitch.
95
00:04:15,237 --> 00:04:17,298
♪♪♪
96
00:04:30,043 --> 00:04:32,897
Bob...
97
00:04:32,921 --> 00:04:35,465
What are you doing here,
anyway?
98
00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:41,072
It's just something
I'm trying out.
99
00:04:41,096 --> 00:04:43,616
How's it going?
100
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,143
It's a little
uncomfortable.
101
00:04:47,769 --> 00:04:51,040
I thought it would be better
than sitting home alone.
102
00:04:51,064 --> 00:04:53,483
It's not.
103
00:04:57,946 --> 00:05:00,007
Oh, my poor dad.
104
00:05:00,031 --> 00:05:03,469
Wish there was something I
could do to make him feel better.
105
00:05:03,493 --> 00:05:05,721
Well, once when I was sad
about Michael cheating on me,
106
00:05:05,745 --> 00:05:07,307
I got flowers
from a secret admirer,
107
00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:08,975
and they cheered me
right up.
108
00:05:08,999 --> 00:05:10,476
I mean, sure,
I sent them to myself,
109
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,853
but it's the thought
that counts.
110
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,397
Those flowers were
from you?
111
00:05:14,421 --> 00:05:17,233
You let me go
on and on about how
112
00:05:17,257 --> 00:05:19,944
they were from me.
113
00:05:19,968 --> 00:05:23,364
God, try a little
honesty.
114
00:05:23,388 --> 00:05:25,408
Wait. That's actually
not a bad idea.
115
00:05:25,432 --> 00:05:27,160
If my dad thought
somebody else liked him,
116
00:05:27,184 --> 00:05:30,371
he wouldn't be so bummed
about joanne.
117
00:05:30,395 --> 00:05:32,373
But men don't really
like flowers, do they?
118
00:05:32,397 --> 00:05:35,484
No, they remind us
of bees.
119
00:05:36,943 --> 00:05:38,796
Oh, I'll send him fudge.
120
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,215
He loves fudge. I know
because one time, he got some,
121
00:05:41,239 --> 00:05:43,217
and I asked
if I could have a piece,
122
00:05:43,241 --> 00:05:45,219
and he quickly changed
the subject.
123
00:05:45,243 --> 00:05:47,512
Well, let me tell them
what to write on the card.
124
00:05:47,536 --> 00:05:49,140
I'm good at that.
125
00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:51,142
When I sent myself
those flowers
126
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:54,145
and read how much I loved me,
I felt so much better.
127
00:05:54,169 --> 00:05:56,605
♪♪♪
128
00:05:56,629 --> 00:05:59,775
Hey, Roy. Remember me?
I'm Eric forman.
129
00:05:59,799 --> 00:06:01,526
Oh, hey, how are you?
130
00:06:01,550 --> 00:06:03,528
I'm here to apply
for the waiter position.
131
00:06:03,552 --> 00:06:06,366
Roy, that's the guy
I was telling you about.
132
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,909
Oh!
133
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,911
Well, I don't think
we can hire a waiter
134
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:15,166
who's got a disease that
spreads through food.
135
00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:17,793
Roy, he really doesn't
like to talk
136
00:06:17,817 --> 00:06:20,569
about
his death-a-food-a-spread-itis.
137
00:06:22,113 --> 00:06:25,676
Death-a-food-a-spreada what?
Who are you, Elmer Fudd?
138
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:30,014
All right, fine. He
doesn't have a disease.
139
00:06:30,038 --> 00:06:32,557
I just... I really
want the job, Roy.
140
00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:34,477
Well, I wish I could
give it to both of you.
141
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:37,271
Eric's got that zippy
personality, and kelso's all man.
142
00:06:37,295 --> 00:06:39,399
I know what
we should do.
143
00:06:39,423 --> 00:06:40,733
We should make it
a competition.
144
00:06:40,757 --> 00:06:43,592
That way, there's the
fun of someone losing.
145
00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:49,158
♪♪♪
146
00:06:49,182 --> 00:06:52,370
Okay, everybody, let's put
some smiles on those faces.
147
00:06:52,394 --> 00:06:54,396
We're going to get divorced.
148
00:06:56,231 --> 00:06:58,251
What the hell's this?
149
00:06:58,275 --> 00:07:00,068
Looks like a box.
150
00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,340
I know it's a box.
151
00:07:04,364 --> 00:07:07,301
Hey, what's with the attitude?
I'm just making conversation.
152
00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:09,303
Looks like a box.
It is a box.
153
00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:11,538
This is how
real people talk, man.
154
00:07:19,254 --> 00:07:21,232
Oh, it's a present.
155
00:07:21,256 --> 00:07:24,777
Oh, it's a wedding
present from aunt Martha!
156
00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:27,363
You told her
about the marriage?
157
00:07:27,387 --> 00:07:30,741
We agreed never to speak
of this evil to anyone.
158
00:07:30,765 --> 00:07:34,828
Well, I had
to tell a few people,
159
00:07:34,852 --> 00:07:37,998
because I never thought
I'd be able to say,
160
00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:40,334
"Laurie got married"
without adding,
161
00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:42,360
"and the baby
came early."
162
00:07:46,281 --> 00:07:50,386
Ooh, look
at the paper sparkle.
163
00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:52,138
I wonder what it is.
164
00:07:52,162 --> 00:07:54,890
Well, keep wondering, 'cause
this package is going right back.
165
00:07:54,914 --> 00:07:56,350
But daddy!
166
00:07:56,374 --> 00:07:59,645
But daddy.
167
00:07:59,669 --> 00:08:01,897
No, no,
I am just curious.
168
00:08:01,921 --> 00:08:04,150
Aunt Martha's well-to-do,
so you have to figure
169
00:08:04,174 --> 00:08:07,945
it's a pretty nice present.
Don't you wanna just peek?
170
00:08:07,969 --> 00:08:10,030
No, I wanna go
to the courthouse.
171
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,365
Now get moving.
172
00:08:11,389 --> 00:08:13,200
Whatever's in this package
might make you happy
173
00:08:13,224 --> 00:08:14,785
for a day,
174
00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:17,770
but a divorce is a gift
that lasts a lifetime.
175
00:08:20,815 --> 00:08:23,544
Guess what, girls.
176
00:08:23,568 --> 00:08:25,463
I got fudge.
177
00:08:25,487 --> 00:08:27,714
Fudge?
178
00:08:27,738 --> 00:08:29,800
What a surprise!
179
00:08:29,824 --> 00:08:31,677
Who's it from?
180
00:08:31,701 --> 00:08:34,555
It doesn't say,
but there's a poem.
181
00:08:34,579 --> 00:08:36,807
"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
182
00:08:36,831 --> 00:08:40,043
Fudge is sweet.
Here's some fudge."
183
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,007
Well,
they rushed me.
184
00:08:47,676 --> 00:08:49,236
I wonder who it's from,
185
00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:51,905
'cause this sounds like
someone likes you.
186
00:08:51,929 --> 00:08:55,493
I hope it's a lady.
187
00:08:57,977 --> 00:09:00,164
Hello.
188
00:09:00,188 --> 00:09:03,000
Oh, hi, joanne.
189
00:09:03,024 --> 00:09:04,585
It's joanne.
190
00:09:04,609 --> 00:09:06,962
Really?
191
00:09:06,986 --> 00:09:09,465
Well, I think it's
a little late to talk
192
00:09:09,489 --> 00:09:11,551
about getting back
together.
193
00:09:11,575 --> 00:09:13,743
Turns out
I'm very desirable.
194
00:09:15,245 --> 00:09:17,181
So I think
this is good-bye.
195
00:09:17,205 --> 00:09:19,642
Oh, and I want my
Barry white albums back
196
00:09:19,666 --> 00:09:21,292
and my body paints.
197
00:09:26,715 --> 00:09:29,151
Oh, my god.
198
00:09:29,175 --> 00:09:31,761
I know. They painted
each other! Ugh!
199
00:09:33,638 --> 00:09:35,199
Eric, you're first.
200
00:09:35,223 --> 00:09:37,368
I'm gonna test you on the
skills every waiter should have.
201
00:09:37,392 --> 00:09:39,412
Roy,
I want you to know
202
00:09:39,436 --> 00:09:41,455
that because of my extensive
background in crafts,
203
00:09:41,479 --> 00:09:43,666
I can fold a napkin
into a Rose, a swan
204
00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:46,377
and the rarely seen
x-wing fighter.
205
00:09:46,401 --> 00:09:49,255
Cool.
206
00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:51,215
Okay, I'm gonna place
a difficult order.
207
00:09:51,239 --> 00:09:54,176
And you'll relay it to Steven
in the kitchen. Here goes.
208
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,969
I'll have the surf
and turf, no seafood,
209
00:09:55,993 --> 00:09:57,971
meat... nice and pink, mashed
potatoes not mashed,
210
00:09:57,995 --> 00:09:59,890
sliced into wedges
and fried up.
211
00:09:59,914 --> 00:10:02,017
Okay, so steak, medium
rare and French fries.
212
00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:03,977
Okay, I'm gonna need
a number 4, still kickin',
213
00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:06,606
hold the guppy
and send it to France.
214
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:09,799
And that is how
you do that.
215
00:10:10,883 --> 00:10:13,404
I'll have the surf
and turf, no seafood,
216
00:10:13,428 --> 00:10:15,322
meat... nice and pink, mashed
potatoes not mashed,
217
00:10:15,346 --> 00:10:17,866
sliced into wedges
and fried up.
218
00:10:17,890 --> 00:10:20,869
One cheeseburger.
219
00:10:20,893 --> 00:10:22,913
It's very important
that a waiter can deal
220
00:10:22,937 --> 00:10:24,749
with difficult customers.
221
00:10:24,773 --> 00:10:26,875
Steven and I are gonna play
a married couple.
222
00:10:26,899 --> 00:10:29,169
I'm not so into this,
Roy.
223
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:32,632
Excuse me,
waiter. This wine is no good.
224
00:10:32,656 --> 00:10:34,258
It's our anniversary,
225
00:10:34,282 --> 00:10:37,928
and I want everything
to be perfect.
226
00:10:37,952 --> 00:10:39,179
God knows,
227
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:42,182
it's hard enough just
to get him out of the house.
228
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,184
Oh, I'm very sorry,
madame.
229
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,895
If you'll allow me to bring
you a complimentary bottle
230
00:10:46,919 --> 00:10:49,231
of our finest wine,
I'd be most obliged.
231
00:10:49,255 --> 00:10:51,400
Most obliged.
232
00:10:51,424 --> 00:10:52,925
That's Shakespeare.
233
00:10:54,803 --> 00:10:57,490
Waiter, it's our anniversary,
234
00:10:57,514 --> 00:10:59,533
and this wine is no good.
235
00:10:59,557 --> 00:11:02,995
Hey, you got a lot more
problems than the wine.
236
00:11:03,019 --> 00:11:05,498
You are
one ugly broad.
237
00:11:05,522 --> 00:11:08,751
I do not appreciate
your tone.
238
00:11:08,775 --> 00:11:11,778
My tone? Dude,
your wife's a bitch.
239
00:11:13,655 --> 00:11:15,633
Okay, work your way
around the tables
240
00:11:15,657 --> 00:11:17,468
with a tray full of dishes
without spilling
241
00:11:17,492 --> 00:11:19,094
or dropping anything.
242
00:11:19,118 --> 00:11:22,455
And for god's sakes,
watch out for the baby.
243
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:30,397
Go!
244
00:11:30,421 --> 00:11:32,775
10 bucks says his skinny little
wrist snaps under the weight.
245
00:11:32,799 --> 00:11:34,527
I'll take that bet.
246
00:11:34,551 --> 00:11:37,886
He's scrawny, but
strong, like the viet cong.
247
00:11:42,809 --> 00:11:46,706
So, like, when
does this test start?
248
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:49,458
Oh, what's this?
249
00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:51,418
Roy, I think you might
have left a $20 bill
250
00:11:51,442 --> 00:11:52,877
tucked in my sleeve.
251
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:56,256
I'm always
losing stuff.
252
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,425
No, Roy, that was...
253
00:11:58,449 --> 00:11:59,950
And go!
254
00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:04,581
Ha ha ha!
255
00:12:13,964 --> 00:12:17,319
Well, Eric,
you're hired.
256
00:12:17,343 --> 00:12:19,363
Oh, really?
257
00:12:19,387 --> 00:12:21,532
Roy,
this is like a dream,
258
00:12:21,556 --> 00:12:24,768
a really mediocre dream.
259
00:12:30,565 --> 00:12:32,042
♪♪♪
260
00:12:32,066 --> 00:12:33,377
All right, everybody,
261
00:12:33,401 --> 00:12:35,379
only 12 signatures
to the end
262
00:12:35,403 --> 00:12:38,947
of what I like to call
"the shame."
263
00:12:44,495 --> 00:12:46,473
It's still there,
264
00:12:46,497 --> 00:12:49,017
and it calls to me,
265
00:12:49,041 --> 00:12:53,003
like a box with
something mysterious in it.
266
00:12:55,214 --> 00:12:58,778
There's nothing like a present
wrapped in beautiful paper.
267
00:12:58,802 --> 00:13:02,698
It's like Cary Grant
in a tuxedo.
268
00:13:02,722 --> 00:13:04,933
I just wanna rip it off!
269
00:13:06,810 --> 00:13:09,329
Don't touch it.
270
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,373
I'm not.
271
00:13:11,397 --> 00:13:13,316
I'm smelling it.
272
00:13:15,318 --> 00:13:18,321
Ooh! What does it
smell like?
273
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,826
A box.
274
00:13:25,161 --> 00:13:27,180
I hope it's
a sewing machine.
275
00:13:27,204 --> 00:13:28,641
I hope it's a TV.
276
00:13:28,665 --> 00:13:31,584
I hope
it's a chocolate TV.
277
00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:37,900
There could be
perishables in there.
278
00:13:37,924 --> 00:13:41,469
Oh, my god.
What if it's a puppy?
279
00:13:43,346 --> 00:13:44,615
We have to open it.
280
00:13:44,639 --> 00:13:47,015
I don't care
if Eric's in there.
281
00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:50,078
It's going back.
282
00:13:50,102 --> 00:13:52,372
Now let's get
these signed.
283
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:54,667
Look, right here.
Paper's ripped.
284
00:13:54,691 --> 00:13:56,877
Oh, my gosh.
You're right.
285
00:13:56,901 --> 00:14:01,381
Hmm. I see part
of a word. "More."
286
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,676
And under that,
something "crow."
287
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:06,470
"More crow."
"More crow."
288
00:14:06,494 --> 00:14:08,722
It's a kenmore
microwave!
289
00:14:08,746 --> 00:14:11,642
I win! I win!
290
00:14:13,209 --> 00:14:15,562
♪♪♪
291
00:14:15,586 --> 00:14:17,105
Hey, Hyde,
292
00:14:17,129 --> 00:14:18,774
where's table seven's
fish?
293
00:14:18,798 --> 00:14:20,567
Oh, I got that for you,
Eric.
294
00:14:20,591 --> 00:14:23,696
Here is
your filet of sole.
295
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,555
Burn!
296
00:14:29,141 --> 00:14:31,561
All right, Eric, here's
the pea soup you ordered.
297
00:14:33,897 --> 00:14:37,042
You peed in the soup,
didn't you?
298
00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:40,170
No, I'm done trying
to screw you over.
299
00:14:40,194 --> 00:14:42,882
It's not your fault
you got the job.
300
00:14:42,906 --> 00:14:46,468
Some people are busboys,
and some people are waiters.
301
00:14:46,492 --> 00:14:50,514
And I guess i'm
just an extremely...
302
00:14:50,538 --> 00:14:52,749
Handsome busboy.
303
00:14:56,335 --> 00:14:58,856
Roy...
304
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,649
That extremely handsome
busboy
305
00:15:00,673 --> 00:15:03,092
just broke my heart.
306
00:15:05,302 --> 00:15:08,240
I really don't think
he peed in the soup, Eric.
307
00:15:08,264 --> 00:15:10,242
Couldn't you find
another waiter job for him?
308
00:15:10,266 --> 00:15:12,244
He needs a break.
He's got a baby on the way.
309
00:15:12,268 --> 00:15:14,955
Well, there might be
a job opening up
310
00:15:14,979 --> 00:15:16,749
'cause jeanie said
she'd quit
311
00:15:16,773 --> 00:15:18,733
if I didn't stop
asking her out.
312
00:15:20,234 --> 00:15:23,380
Come on. I'm not gonna
stop asking her out.
313
00:15:23,404 --> 00:15:25,966
So look,
314
00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:27,927
if I really
work hard with kelso,
315
00:15:27,951 --> 00:15:29,762
you'll give him
another tryout?
316
00:15:29,786 --> 00:15:31,221
Sure.
317
00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:35,183
But I really don't think
he can handle it.
318
00:15:35,207 --> 00:15:38,103
And my standards for
food service are really low.
319
00:15:38,127 --> 00:15:41,130
I haven't washed
my hands in four days.
320
00:15:49,346 --> 00:15:50,699
Dad...
321
00:15:50,723 --> 00:15:52,576
Too late.
I finished it.
322
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:57,330
So I was trying to figure
out who sent me the fudge.
323
00:15:57,354 --> 00:16:00,375
And I thought it could be
the lady at the pharmacy,
324
00:16:00,399 --> 00:16:03,128
which is nice because
she's seen my prescriptions,
325
00:16:03,152 --> 00:16:05,822
so we can skip
that awkward conversation.
326
00:16:08,449 --> 00:16:11,386
Or it could be
the mail lady.
327
00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,973
Dad, I have to
tell you something.
328
00:16:13,997 --> 00:16:17,309
Jackie and I
sent you the fudge.
329
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:19,436
What?
330
00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:22,064
Well, you seemed so sad, and
we wanted to cheer you up.
331
00:16:22,088 --> 00:16:24,274
But then, we screwed up
your chances
332
00:16:24,298 --> 00:16:26,151
for getting back
together with joanne, so...
333
00:16:26,175 --> 00:16:28,886
So nobody likes me.
334
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,556
We like you.
335
00:16:33,641 --> 00:16:35,434
Eh.
336
00:16:36,936 --> 00:16:38,747
We're really sorry, dad.
337
00:16:38,771 --> 00:16:41,249
I guess it's not so bad.
338
00:16:41,273 --> 00:16:44,086
I mean, I haven't thought
about joanne all day.
339
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:46,254
Well, if you want, we can
all do something today.
340
00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:48,715
I can take you
to the model train shop.
341
00:16:48,739 --> 00:16:51,301
Some of the tiny trees
in pinciotti town
342
00:16:51,325 --> 00:16:53,804
are looking
pretty ratty.
343
00:16:53,828 --> 00:16:55,973
No, I'm gonna go down
344
00:16:55,997 --> 00:16:58,350
and talk to the girl
at the pharmacy.
345
00:16:58,374 --> 00:17:02,021
She's got a better keister
than the mail lady.
346
00:17:02,045 --> 00:17:04,356
You'd think,
with all that walking...
347
00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:07,216
Hey, guess you either
got it or you don't.
348
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:11,488
♪♪♪
349
00:17:11,512 --> 00:17:14,116
Eric, give it up. I'm not
gonna be able to do this.
350
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:15,241
Hey.
351
00:17:15,265 --> 00:17:17,452
Now that's not
the kelso I know.
352
00:17:17,476 --> 00:17:20,039
A lot of people said you
couldn't fit 73 cherry bombs
353
00:17:20,063 --> 00:17:21,832
into a toilet,
and who proved them wrong?
354
00:17:21,856 --> 00:17:26,211
I did.
355
00:17:26,235 --> 00:17:27,546
That's right,
and a lot of people said
356
00:17:27,570 --> 00:17:30,049
you couldn't make out with
both of the ziegler twins
357
00:17:30,073 --> 00:17:32,051
in the same night,
and who proved them wrong?
358
00:17:32,075 --> 00:17:34,243
I did.
359
00:17:35,953 --> 00:17:38,348
And I also brushed
their mom's boob
360
00:17:38,372 --> 00:17:40,392
at a bake sale, so
actually, it was a three-fer.
361
00:17:40,416 --> 00:17:43,062
Exactly. You are
Michael kelso, right?
362
00:17:43,086 --> 00:17:45,022
You make
the impossible happen.
363
00:17:45,046 --> 00:17:47,649
Now come on.
Let's do this.
364
00:17:47,673 --> 00:17:49,234
Okay, ready,
365
00:17:49,258 --> 00:17:50,944
get set...
366
00:17:50,968 --> 00:17:52,762
Kelso!
367
00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:57,283
What?!
368
00:17:57,307 --> 00:17:59,852
Good luck.
369
00:18:02,105 --> 00:18:04,041
♪♪♪
370
00:18:04,065 --> 00:18:06,210
Ahh,
what a beautiful morning.
371
00:18:06,234 --> 00:18:08,378
The birds are singing.
The flowers are blooming.
372
00:18:08,402 --> 00:18:11,673
Divorce is in the air.
373
00:18:11,697 --> 00:18:14,384
Now let's finish this.
374
00:18:14,408 --> 00:18:16,970
Red, no one wants to get
divorced on an empty stomach.
375
00:18:18,037 --> 00:18:20,123
Ooh!
And that's breakfast.
376
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:25,562
You used the microwave.
377
00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:28,148
Red forman, I firmly
believe that god wants me
378
00:18:28,172 --> 00:18:31,151
to bake a potato
in four minutes.
379
00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:35,488
No, god wants
these two divorced
380
00:18:35,512 --> 00:18:37,657
and all evidence
of their unholy union
381
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:38,909
out of this house.
382
00:18:38,933 --> 00:18:40,953
We got
another present!
383
00:18:40,977 --> 00:18:44,623
No, no. Don't open it
'cause we're not keeping it.
384
00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:46,274
Whoa.
385
00:18:48,859 --> 00:18:52,047
Look at that saw!
386
00:18:52,071 --> 00:18:55,341
It's from Billy Schneider
down at the hardware store.
387
00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:57,677
He's had a crush on me
ever since
388
00:18:57,701 --> 00:19:02,182
I went ladder shopping
in that miniskirt.
389
00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:04,392
Okay,
just to make it clear,
390
00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:06,895
if you're buying me a gift,
I want candy.
391
00:19:06,919 --> 00:19:09,439
For my birthday,
392
00:19:09,463 --> 00:19:13,568
Christmas,
daylight savings... candy.
393
00:19:13,592 --> 00:19:15,320
Candy!
394
00:19:15,344 --> 00:19:17,387
Now you can have the saw,
red.
395
00:19:19,098 --> 00:19:20,993
No, I...
396
00:19:21,017 --> 00:19:24,621
That would be,
uh, wrong.
397
00:19:24,645 --> 00:19:26,581
Well...
398
00:19:26,605 --> 00:19:30,043
It would be wrong
if they were divorced,
399
00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:32,254
but if they stayed married,
400
00:19:32,278 --> 00:19:34,905
sending the gifts back
would be rude.
401
00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:39,493
You make a good point.
402
00:19:40,995 --> 00:19:43,473
But I want a divorce.
403
00:19:43,497 --> 00:19:46,392
I'll tell you what, honey.
We'll wait a month.
404
00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:49,712
If a riding mower hasn't
shown up by then, we'll talk.
405
00:19:51,297 --> 00:19:53,025
Okay, remember, buddy.
406
00:19:53,049 --> 00:19:55,027
The tray is like a lady.
407
00:19:55,051 --> 00:19:56,844
Dance with her.
408
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:01,098
And go!
409
00:20:35,091 --> 00:20:37,736
I did it!
410
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,696
Congratulations!
You got the job.
411
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,531
Oh, I can't wait
to tell Brooke.
412
00:20:41,555 --> 00:20:43,950
Hey, welcome to the
exclusive ranks of waiter
413
00:20:43,974 --> 00:20:46,828
at a crappy
hotel restaurant.
414
00:20:46,852 --> 00:20:49,664
I can't believe
that I did it.
415
00:20:49,688 --> 00:20:52,316
Yeah, I can't believe
the glue held.
416
00:20:56,237 --> 00:20:59,007
Yeah,
super glue kicks ass!
417
00:20:59,031 --> 00:21:00,717
You know what, kelso?
418
00:21:00,741 --> 00:21:03,262
Your first shift
is not gonna go well.
419
00:21:03,286 --> 00:21:05,495
Oh, it's gonna be
a disaster.
420
00:21:13,545 --> 00:21:16,358
"Warning. Never put metal
in the microwave."
421
00:21:16,382 --> 00:21:18,467
This isn't metal.
It's soup.
422
00:21:32,522 --> 00:21:37,486
Miss kitty,
Eric broke the microwave!
29738
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