Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,006 --> 00:00:00,123
h
2
00:00:00,004 --> 00:00:00,120
ht
3
00:00:00,111 --> 00:00:00,228
htt
4
00:00:00,229 --> 00:00:00,346
http
5
00:00:00,347 --> 00:00:00,463
http:
6
00:00:00,464 --> 00:00:00,581
http:/
7
00:00:00,582 --> 00:00:00,699
http://
8
00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:00,816
http://h
9
00:00:00,817 --> 00:00:00,933
http://hi
10
00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:01,050
http://hiq
11
00:00:01,051 --> 00:00:01,168
http://hiqv
12
00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:01,286
http://hiqve
13
00:00:01,287 --> 00:00:01,403
http://hiqve.
14
00:00:01,404 --> 00:00:01,521
http://hiqve.c
15
00:00:01,522 --> 00:00:01,639
http://hiqve.co
16
00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:01,756
http://hiqve.com
17
00:00:01,757 --> 00:00:01,874
http://hiqve.com/
18
00:00:01,875 --> 00:00:04,873
http://hiqve.com/
19
00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,689
Why would Sports
Illustrated even publish
20
00:00:07,731 --> 00:00:10,940
an issue that's
not a swimsuit issue?
21
00:00:10,982 --> 00:00:13,817
You know who should do
a swimsuit issue? Playboy.
22
00:00:16,485 --> 00:00:18,193
Why would you put clothes
on a centrefold?
23
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,818
Sometimes I get tired
of all the complete nakedness
24
00:00:20,860 --> 00:00:23,904
and I like to be
teased a little.
25
00:00:23,946 --> 00:00:28,156
Yeah, there's a lot more going
on up here than you know about.
26
00:00:28,197 --> 00:00:30,995
I think there's some stuff going on
in there that you don't know about.
27
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,159
You guys should have come
to the arboretum with us.
28
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,661
We saw plants and trees
from all over the world.
29
00:00:38,702 --> 00:00:41,745
There was a bush from Morocco.
30
00:00:41,787 --> 00:00:43,186
Smelled like
chocolate chip cookies.
31
00:00:44,454 --> 00:00:45,912
Ah, that is the perfect bush.
32
00:00:49,331 --> 00:00:51,570
Thanks for taking me to the
arboretum. It was really fun.
33
00:00:52,207 --> 00:00:53,833
Yeah, what a great day.
34
00:00:57,209 --> 00:00:58,835
What a horrible day!
35
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,044
I don't mind looking
at some trees, okay?
36
00:01:03,086 --> 00:01:05,564
But when they put little signs
on them with little Latin names,
37
00:01:06,797 --> 00:01:08,506
it makes me want to harm myself.
38
00:01:10,047 --> 00:01:12,840
So the missus took you out
for some girl fun, huh?
39
00:01:12,881 --> 00:01:14,924
See, Donna is hot,
but she is mean.
40
00:01:16,634 --> 00:01:20,093
My girlfriend Nina? Just hot.
41
00:01:20,135 --> 00:01:22,177
You know, Fez, you talk a lot
about this Nina chick,
42
00:01:22,218 --> 00:01:23,446
but none of us
have ever seen her.
43
00:01:23,470 --> 00:01:25,762
Yeah, we're actually
starting to suspect
44
00:01:25,804 --> 00:01:27,304
that she's some creepy alter ego
45
00:01:27,346 --> 00:01:29,185
you visit late at night
in front of the mirror.
46
00:01:30,139 --> 00:01:31,418
Oh, no, I don't do that anymore.
47
00:01:33,765 --> 00:01:36,433
But Nina is the real deal.
Kelso saw her at the DMV.
48
00:01:36,475 --> 00:01:39,267
There were a lot of girls there.
49
00:01:39,309 --> 00:01:42,147
She could have been the one with
the lazy eye that does the vision test.
50
00:01:43,977 --> 00:01:47,479
Lazy-eye Lizzie? No way.
She wouldn't even look at me.
51
00:01:54,398 --> 00:01:56,584
Nina, my friends don't believe
me that you're my girlfriend,
52
00:01:56,608 --> 00:01:59,942
even though I frenched you.
53
00:01:59,984 --> 00:02:03,860
Girlfriend? I don't
know if we're there yet.
54
00:02:03,901 --> 00:02:06,779
I mean, I like you
and all, it's just that
55
00:02:06,821 --> 00:02:08,862
all the guys at
the DMV seem great
56
00:02:08,903 --> 00:02:11,382
until you find them in your
apartment wearing your hot curlers.
57
00:02:12,698 --> 00:02:13,864
Warren.
58
00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:19,701
I want to get to know you
better, meet your friends,
59
00:02:19,742 --> 00:02:21,867
make sure they're not puppets.
60
00:02:22,451 --> 00:02:23,702
Warren.
61
00:02:26,495 --> 00:02:30,746
So, if they are not puppets,
then would you be my girlfriend?
62
00:02:31,664 --> 00:02:33,872
Mmm, it would definitely help.
63
00:02:35,373 --> 00:02:36,708
Are these lines open or not?
64
00:02:38,833 --> 00:02:40,124
Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
65
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:42,209
That was very unprofessional.
66
00:02:46,378 --> 00:02:47,837
♪ Hanging out
67
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,463
♪ Down the street
68
00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:55,548
♪ The same old thing
69
00:02:57,298 --> 00:02:58,881
♪ We did last week
70
00:03:00,717 --> 00:03:03,300
♪ Not a thing to do
71
00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:07,469
♪ But talk to you
72
00:03:08,511 --> 00:03:10,303
♪ We're all all right
73
00:03:10,345 --> 00:03:11,886
♪ We're all all right
74
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,639
♪ Hello, Wisconsin! ♪
75
00:03:21,683 --> 00:03:25,892
So, we're finally gonna meet the
mysterious and possibly fictional Nina.
76
00:03:27,686 --> 00:03:29,812
Fictional? Does this
hickey look fictional?
77
00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:36,272
Huh, looks too small to be from
the vacuum cleaner, like last time.
78
00:03:37,773 --> 00:03:40,232
Wait, let me see.
79
00:03:40,273 --> 00:03:43,608
Small, blotchy and uneven.
Ah, this girl's an amateur.
80
00:03:46,235 --> 00:03:49,819
Let me see. Small, blotchy and
unpleasant. Yeah, this girl's a Jackie.
81
00:03:55,112 --> 00:03:57,740
Well, Fez, I am
thrilled that you found a girl
82
00:03:57,781 --> 00:03:59,020
'cause I was starting to worry.
83
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:04,908
But you've proven me and the
experts from Reader's Digest wrong!
84
00:04:08,577 --> 00:04:11,494
When I introduce her to
everybody, I just want it to be special.
85
00:04:11,536 --> 00:04:14,371
Oh! Let's have a formal
dinner party tomorrow.
86
00:04:15,913 --> 00:04:18,097
You know, it was at a
dinner party that I first realised
87
00:04:18,121 --> 00:04:20,540
Red Forman was more
than just a boy with great hair.
88
00:04:22,624 --> 00:04:24,833
Sounds good, Miss Kitty.
89
00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:28,125
You might be a little past your
prime, but your mind is still sharp.
90
00:04:34,128 --> 00:04:36,838
Oh, actually tomorrow night's
not gonna work.
91
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,089
I thought we might
go see Laser Floyd.
92
00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:41,568
Well, you tell this fellow Floyd
that you have a dinner party.
93
00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:45,299
No,
Mom, Laser Floyd's not a guy.
94
00:04:45,341 --> 00:04:48,593
Laser Floyd is Pink
Floyd music with lasers.
95
00:04:50,886 --> 00:04:52,927
Lasers, like in Star Wars.
96
00:04:54,136 --> 00:04:56,303
Mrs. Forman, we'll be here.
97
00:04:56,345 --> 00:04:58,184
Wait. You'd rather go
to a formal dinner party?
98
00:04:58,764 --> 00:05:01,264
Sure. Sounds great.
99
00:05:01,305 --> 00:05:03,849
And don't forget, Mrs. Forman,
you can count Steven and me in.
100
00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:04,849
Yeah, I've been
looking for an excuse
101
00:05:04,891 --> 00:05:06,170
to buy him a shirt with buttons.
102
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,934
And since it's
a special occasion,
103
00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:12,227
you're all
allowed one sip of wine.
104
00:05:15,478 --> 00:05:18,187
Great! It'll be like Communion,
but without the fun of church.
105
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,398
So, Steven, you know,
I was thinking of getting you
106
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,858
a pair of beige corduroys and
maybe a blue blazer for the party.
107
00:05:28,149 --> 00:05:30,526
Oh, don't forget the
matching scarf and gloves.
108
00:05:32,735 --> 00:05:34,974
This way, I'll be nice and
toasty when hell freezes over.
109
00:05:38,863 --> 00:05:41,238
Uh-oh, Jackie.
Looks like Steven
110
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:42,946
doesn't wanna wear
his big-boy clothes.
111
00:05:46,282 --> 00:05:47,783
No, I just don't wanna go.
112
00:05:47,824 --> 00:05:49,634
You know, you should have
asked me before you said I would.
113
00:05:49,658 --> 00:05:53,493
Steven! I am your girlfriend.
I speak for you now!
114
00:05:55,494 --> 00:05:58,092
Well, then, tell yourself I said
to bite me, 'cause I'm not going.
115
00:06:01,121 --> 00:06:04,539
Oh, you are so going!
So just bite yourself!
116
00:06:07,749 --> 00:06:09,750
Man, do you believe that crap?
117
00:06:09,792 --> 00:06:11,584
Tell me about it.
118
00:06:11,626 --> 00:06:13,770
Donna wants to go to a dinner
party, we go to a dinner party.
119
00:06:13,794 --> 00:06:16,592
If she wants to go to the arboretum,
bang, I'm in a room full of trees.
120
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,961
God, I hate trees.
121
00:06:22,504 --> 00:06:24,297
So tall and arrogant.
122
00:06:25,256 --> 00:06:26,548
So why don't you just not go?
123
00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:28,633
Oh, it's just one day.
124
00:06:28,674 --> 00:06:30,091
Not for you, man.
You're engaged.
125
00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:31,592
It's Latin for
"screwed for life."
126
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,886
Oh, my God, you're right.
127
00:06:36,928 --> 00:06:38,613
And I have no choice.
I have to do what she says
128
00:06:38,637 --> 00:06:40,396
or she won't let me
touch her naughty places.
129
00:06:42,429 --> 00:06:44,555
Hyde, this is extortion!
130
00:06:44,597 --> 00:06:46,306
You're telling me?
131
00:06:46,347 --> 00:06:48,866
I'm being shaken down by a
95-pound brunette with pink toenails.
132
00:06:52,224 --> 00:06:56,143
Kitty? I know this change
of life has upset you
133
00:06:56,184 --> 00:06:57,769
but we just bought
wine the other day.
134
00:06:59,394 --> 00:07:01,553
What are you doing, brushing
your teeth with the stuff?
135
00:07:03,647 --> 00:07:05,397
Red, it's not for me.
136
00:07:06,314 --> 00:07:07,980
Well, this one is.
137
00:07:11,149 --> 00:07:13,442
We're having a dinner party
tomorrow night.
138
00:07:13,484 --> 00:07:17,568
No, can't do it. Battle of
the Network Stars is on.
139
00:07:19,986 --> 00:07:22,445
See, once a year,
they make TV stars
140
00:07:22,487 --> 00:07:24,696
compete at things
they're not good at.
141
00:07:24,738 --> 00:07:28,698
I look forward all season to watching
Ed Asner try to paddle a canoe.
142
00:07:30,824 --> 00:07:32,699
Makes me feel superior.
143
00:07:34,116 --> 00:07:35,867
Well, you shouldn't
feel superior, because
144
00:07:35,909 --> 00:07:37,910
you know what I
know about Ed Asner?
145
00:07:37,952 --> 00:07:39,661
Ed Asner would come
to my dinner party,
146
00:07:39,702 --> 00:07:41,141
'cause he knows
how to treat a woman.
147
00:07:42,703 --> 00:07:45,370
Did you say "dinner party"?
148
00:07:45,412 --> 00:07:47,811
See, I thought
you... Oh, screw it, I'll be there.
149
00:07:51,457 --> 00:07:54,249
What's this about a party?
150
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:58,001
Oh, well, we're having a party
tomorrow night for Fez and Nina.
151
00:07:59,752 --> 00:08:01,377
I invited all the kids.
152
00:08:01,419 --> 00:08:02,962
I'm a kid.
153
00:08:05,295 --> 00:08:08,255
Well, it's for couples only. You
can come if you bring a date.
154
00:08:08,297 --> 00:08:11,298
Well, it's too late to
find a date. I mean...
155
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,339
Yeah, I'm sweet looking,
but I'm no miracle worker.
156
00:08:17,509 --> 00:08:19,134
Well, maybe if you stop jumping
157
00:08:19,176 --> 00:08:21,010
from girl to girl,
you wouldn't be alone.
158
00:08:21,051 --> 00:08:22,928
You're no Frank Sinatra,
you know!
159
00:08:25,637 --> 00:08:28,930
You know, you used to be nice,
but you've changed, lady!
160
00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:39,100
Guys, I really
want Nina to like me,
161
00:08:39,142 --> 00:08:40,935
so, please,
avoid the following topics,
162
00:08:44,728 --> 00:08:46,562
my addiction to candy,
163
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,772
the fact that I have needs,
164
00:08:53,773 --> 00:08:56,649
and my use of
Alberto VO5 Hot Oil Treatment.
165
00:08:59,776 --> 00:09:03,610
Wait. Fez, what does she care
what you use on your hair?
166
00:09:03,652 --> 00:09:04,892
Oh, I do not use it on my hair.
167
00:09:09,446 --> 00:09:12,238
Well, heard about
your secret couples party.
168
00:09:13,698 --> 00:09:16,407
And I'm glad I'm not going,
'cause I hate parties.
169
00:09:16,449 --> 00:09:19,283
Hey, man, I'm only going
'cause Donna's making me.
170
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:20,802
At this rate, the only
way I'll see Laser Floyd
171
00:09:20,826 --> 00:09:23,025
is if they project it on a leaf
canopy at the arboretum.
172
00:09:25,285 --> 00:09:27,537
So, don't go to the party.
Act tough, Forman.
173
00:09:27,578 --> 00:09:28,912
I'm not tough.
174
00:09:28,954 --> 00:09:31,038
That's why I said "act."
175
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,581
No one's making me go,
that's for sure.
176
00:09:34,623 --> 00:09:37,040
Oh, that is it, Steven.
As your girlfriend,
177
00:09:37,081 --> 00:09:38,666
I am ordering you
to go to this party.
178
00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:42,042
And as your boyfriend,
179
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,602
I'm ordering you to take your
bossy mouth and flap it elsewhere.
180
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:48,044
If you flap it at me,
I'll go with you.
181
00:09:51,504 --> 00:09:55,047
Do you hear that, Steven? Michael
wants to go to the party with me.
182
00:09:56,131 --> 00:09:57,507
I'm not going to the party.
183
00:09:57,549 --> 00:09:59,008
Fine.
184
00:09:59,049 --> 00:10:00,943
Michael, I would love
to go to the party with you.
185
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,009
Kick-ass! I love parties!
186
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:18,473
Okay, now. These are called
after-dinner conversation cards.
187
00:10:19,057 --> 00:10:20,391
Let's try one.
188
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,309
"If you were a bird, where
would you fly?" Donna?
189
00:10:27,977 --> 00:10:30,061
Um... South?
190
00:10:33,437 --> 00:10:35,636
I don't know. I'm nervous.
I feel like I'm on Jeopardy!
191
00:10:37,814 --> 00:10:40,024
If I were a bird,
I'd fly to Laser Floyd.
192
00:10:41,816 --> 00:10:45,067
I'd fly to Tahiti, 'cause the
girls there don't wear tops!
193
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,569
Wait, but then I'd want
to change back into myself
194
00:10:49,610 --> 00:10:51,778
because no lady wants
to make it with a bird.
195
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,697
Wait, can I be a monkey?
196
00:11:01,365 --> 00:11:02,491
Okay.
197
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,075
Nina!
198
00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:08,076
I'd fly to my
favourite place, the DMV.
199
00:11:11,745 --> 00:11:13,746
I was just going to say that.
200
00:11:16,454 --> 00:11:18,622
Red, we haven't
heard a peep out of you.
201
00:11:19,831 --> 00:11:22,081
If I was a bird,
I'd fly into a ceiling fan.
202
00:11:30,711 --> 00:11:34,378
Steven, you came,
just like I thought you would.
203
00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:35,588
You buckled!
204
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:37,087
No, I got hungry.
205
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,505
You're in my seat.
206
00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:45,258
Damn, Hyde, now
everyone knows it's a clip-on!
207
00:11:49,927 --> 00:11:52,093
Since you two work at the DMV,
208
00:11:53,386 --> 00:11:55,721
how about you make this
parking ticket disappear?
209
00:11:58,263 --> 00:12:00,639
We can't fix this.
You parked in a fire lane.
210
00:12:00,681 --> 00:12:02,181
Oh, Nina, please.
211
00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:07,141
We're his guests. I'll
take care of it, little buddy.
212
00:12:09,475 --> 00:12:11,100
No, Fez, he broke the law.
213
00:12:11,142 --> 00:12:12,269
Broke the law?
214
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:13,603
I was just getting some milk.
215
00:12:13,644 --> 00:12:15,686
But what if there was a fire?
216
00:12:16,896 --> 00:12:19,103
Then I'd pour my milk on it.
217
00:12:22,397 --> 00:12:24,231
Okay.
218
00:12:24,273 --> 00:12:26,608
Okay, let's try another card.
219
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,569
"If you could be anyone's
shoe, whose shoe would you be?"
220
00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:36,337
I wouldn't want to
be Red's shoe, 'cause
221
00:12:36,361 --> 00:12:38,111
I think it's about to
go in someone's ass.
222
00:12:41,697 --> 00:12:45,407
That's it! I'm watching
Battle of the Network Stars.
223
00:12:45,449 --> 00:12:47,490
I'm with you.
Have fun with Mr. Clip-on.
224
00:12:49,075 --> 00:12:50,867
Yeah, you know what? Me, too.
225
00:12:50,909 --> 00:12:52,117
Wait, you're leaving?
226
00:12:52,158 --> 00:12:53,910
There are lasers
going off right now!
227
00:12:54,911 --> 00:12:56,453
Perfectly synchronised lasers!
228
00:12:56,494 --> 00:12:59,996
And all of a sudden,
you're like Lady Dinner Roll,
229
00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:01,597
shaking me down with
her naughty places!
230
00:13:03,581 --> 00:13:05,290
I'm going, too.
231
00:13:05,331 --> 00:13:07,889
Apparently we can eat a man's
food, but we cannot fix his ticket!
232
00:13:10,292 --> 00:13:13,209
Well, what happened
to my dinner party?
233
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,126
I'm sorry, Mrs. Forman,
but Marilu Henner
234
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:16,687
only gets on
the trampoline once a year
235
00:13:16,711 --> 00:13:18,587
and I'm not gonna miss it.
236
00:13:25,048 --> 00:13:26,274
Where the hell does Eric get off
237
00:13:26,298 --> 00:13:28,091
acting like I make him do stuff?
238
00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:29,400
I mean,
it's not like I wanted us
239
00:13:29,424 --> 00:13:31,092
to come to this
dinner party either.
240
00:13:31,132 --> 00:13:33,801
I only did because,
241
00:13:33,842 --> 00:13:35,761
well, you're all menopausey
now and you scare me!
242
00:13:36,302 --> 00:13:38,470
Right, you came for me.
243
00:13:38,511 --> 00:13:41,554
Just like I slaved over
a pot roast for all of you.
244
00:13:41,596 --> 00:13:43,679
You want a definition of hell?
245
00:13:43,721 --> 00:13:46,180
Try opening a 400-degree oven
while you're having a hot flash.
246
00:13:48,015 --> 00:13:50,682
We're all here for someone else.
247
00:13:50,724 --> 00:13:53,267
And you know why? It's
right there in front of us, girls.
248
00:13:53,309 --> 00:13:54,893
Women are giving.
249
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,060
I'm not giving!
250
00:13:57,894 --> 00:13:59,561
I'm here for me.
251
00:13:59,603 --> 00:14:02,186
Steven is the one who
should think about others.
252
00:14:02,228 --> 00:14:03,938
I mean, how could
he just ditch me?
253
00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:05,372
Well, Jackie, it might
have something to do
254
00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:06,981
with you trying
to boss him around
255
00:14:07,022 --> 00:14:08,262
and then showing up with Kelso.
256
00:14:08,522 --> 00:14:09,983
She's right.
257
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:13,067
I know she's right.
258
00:14:13,109 --> 00:14:14,125
But you're not
a part of the group,
259
00:14:14,149 --> 00:14:15,428
and I don't like you, so zip it!
260
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:23,237
Man, look at you guys,
all forced to hide
261
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,758
in the basement
because of your women.
262
00:14:26,363 --> 00:14:28,906
Hey, I'm not hiding from anyone.
263
00:14:28,948 --> 00:14:30,490
I finally set Donna straight.
264
00:14:30,531 --> 00:14:33,158
Alls you did was babble about
lasers and naughty places.
265
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:38,201
Man, I thought you
were having a stroke.
266
00:14:38,243 --> 00:14:40,452
Whatever, man. You
caved just like Jackie wanted.
267
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,287
I didn't cave.
268
00:14:43,328 --> 00:14:44,806
Just wanted to make sure
Don Juan el Tardo here
269
00:14:44,830 --> 00:14:46,830
kept his hands off her.
270
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,205
Then how do you
explain the necktie?
271
00:14:50,247 --> 00:14:51,832
I just came from
a business meeting.
272
00:14:54,541 --> 00:14:57,835
At least he's putting up
a fight. You just gave up.
273
00:14:58,584 --> 00:15:00,127
Like France.
274
00:15:04,211 --> 00:15:06,838
Oh, get off his back, little
buddy. You were at the party, too.
275
00:15:08,463 --> 00:15:11,798
Hey, I fought
the good fight for 30 years.
276
00:15:13,214 --> 00:15:15,133
Now I just agree with what Kitty
277
00:15:15,174 --> 00:15:17,175
wants to do,
so I can go to sleep.
278
00:15:21,510 --> 00:15:23,053
And I'm not your
"little buddy."
279
00:15:25,595 --> 00:15:27,972
Yeah, you're all doomed.
That's funny.
280
00:15:29,681 --> 00:15:31,472
No, we're not all doomed.
281
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,182
One man here still has a chance.
282
00:15:34,223 --> 00:15:37,391
One man can take
a stand for all of us.
283
00:15:37,433 --> 00:15:40,143
And that man's name is...
284
00:15:40,184 --> 00:15:43,185
Well, we can't pronounce his
real name, so we call him Fez!
285
00:15:46,353 --> 00:15:48,747
I don't want to take a stand, I
just want Nina to be my girlfriend
286
00:15:48,771 --> 00:15:50,480
and give me nooky!
287
00:15:52,397 --> 00:15:54,524
Fez, come on. Give it a try!
288
00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:56,899
It'll be like Battle of the
Network Stars. Think about it.
289
00:15:59,984 --> 00:16:03,944
Welcome back to the
Battle of the Gender Stars,
290
00:16:03,986 --> 00:16:06,235
where it's
the gals with 50 points!
291
00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:11,488
And the guys with zero.
292
00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:14,990
But the guys still have a chance
293
00:16:15,032 --> 00:16:19,741
'cause our final event is
conveniently worth 51 points.
294
00:16:21,283 --> 00:16:23,201
You guys are pathetic!
295
00:16:24,285 --> 00:16:27,704
Wow, that's some
tough talk, Jamie Farr.
296
00:16:27,745 --> 00:16:29,662
I'm switching to the gals' team.
297
00:16:29,704 --> 00:16:32,205
I can do that, because I
wear a dress on M.A.S.H.
298
00:16:34,831 --> 00:16:37,332
Okay, now let's
meet our contestants.
299
00:16:37,374 --> 00:16:40,249
Representing the gals,
the lovely Nina!
300
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,626
And representing the guys,
the lovely Fez!
301
00:16:50,337 --> 00:16:51,754
Fighters, go!
302
00:16:55,965 --> 00:16:58,298
Make that tart eat some mud!
303
00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:01,884
Oh, I forgot to tell you. We're
going antiquing all weekend!
304
00:17:01,925 --> 00:17:03,467
Oh, like hell we are.
305
00:17:13,555 --> 00:17:16,305
I hate antiquing.
Let's do this thing!
306
00:17:16,347 --> 00:17:19,849
That's right. Gentlemen,
let's go get our cojones back!
307
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,893
I gotta see this.
308
00:17:24,893 --> 00:17:26,226
Hey, man, you coming?
309
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,227
No, I still have my cojones.
310
00:17:31,979 --> 00:17:34,105
My lonely, lonely cojones.
311
00:17:37,231 --> 00:17:40,482
Oh, look who it is. You bake a
brownie, and the bastards come running.
312
00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:44,192
I'm afraid your brownies
are powerless now.
313
00:17:44,233 --> 00:17:46,275
Fez has something to say. Fez?
314
00:17:46,317 --> 00:17:47,442
Can I have a brownie?
315
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,944
Fez!
316
00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:52,320
Right, right, right, right.
317
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:56,155
Nina, I insist you take care of
Red's ticket because I am in charge.
318
00:17:57,780 --> 00:17:58,656
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
319
00:17:58,698 --> 00:17:59,823
Okay.
320
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,949
Man, what the hell?
321
00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:04,909
I have needs.
322
00:18:07,450 --> 00:18:09,911
Nina, if I do everything you
want, would you be my girlfriend?
323
00:18:11,161 --> 00:18:12,661
Can't say no to that!
324
00:18:13,579 --> 00:18:15,246
I cannot believe it!
325
00:18:16,413 --> 00:18:18,247
I have a girlfriend!
326
00:18:19,873 --> 00:18:21,248
So when do we do it?
327
00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:28,877
I am not speaking to you.
328
00:18:31,836 --> 00:18:34,253
Well, at least it'll be quiet
enough to go to sleep.
329
00:18:39,338 --> 00:18:42,882
Okay, Donna, when we came up
here, Fez was supposed to... Donna?
330
00:18:46,008 --> 00:18:47,258
Oh, crap.
331
00:18:48,842 --> 00:18:51,802
Hey, Steven, look.
332
00:18:51,844 --> 00:18:56,846
Remember how you said that I was
bossy? Well, I think you were right.
333
00:18:56,888 --> 00:18:59,722
So, from now on, if I want you
to do something, I'll ask first.
334
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:02,824
Well, I just...
Wait, shh, I'm talking!
335
00:19:05,557 --> 00:19:07,558
I am so sorry.
There I go again.
336
00:19:09,642 --> 00:19:10,961
Okay,
here's what I wanted to say.
337
00:19:12,393 --> 00:19:13,644
Would you like to go with me to
338
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:15,245
the Girl Scout
Alumni Pancake Breakfast?
339
00:19:20,231 --> 00:19:22,397
Jackie,
I'd rather put on a dress
340
00:19:22,439 --> 00:19:24,038
and slow dance with
Kelso on Soul Train.
341
00:19:28,358 --> 00:19:31,151
But since you
asked nicely, I'll go.
342
00:19:31,193 --> 00:19:34,069
Yay! Oh, Steven, don't
forget to bring a spatula
343
00:19:34,111 --> 00:19:35,550
because I signed
you up as a flipper.
344
00:19:38,362 --> 00:19:39,947
Hey, the flipper
better be the guy
345
00:19:39,988 --> 00:19:41,697
who judges
the Alumni Bikini Contest!
346
00:19:44,073 --> 00:19:45,281
It's not.
347
00:19:46,616 --> 00:19:47,824
Donna...
348
00:19:47,866 --> 00:19:49,909
Wait, let me guess.
349
00:19:49,951 --> 00:19:53,993
Laser Floyd, Laser Floyd,
arboretum, dinner roll, Laser Floyd.
350
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:57,494
Okay, listen.
No, you listen.
351
00:19:57,536 --> 00:19:59,037
I don't know
what's wrong with you,
352
00:19:59,079 --> 00:20:02,205
if it's genetic, or if you took a
pill from your mother's cabinet.
353
00:20:03,705 --> 00:20:06,249
But I'm through
doing stuff for you,
354
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,624
because you don't appreciate it.
355
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,709
Whoa, whoa, wait.
You're doing stuff for me?
356
00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:17,335
Yeah! I went to that dinner
party to make your mother happy,
357
00:20:17,377 --> 00:20:19,336
and I went to the arboretum
because you wanted to.
358
00:20:22,671 --> 00:20:26,298
I wanted to? All I said
was, "Look, the arboretum."
359
00:20:28,258 --> 00:20:30,549
Well, it sounded
like you wanted to go.
360
00:20:31,383 --> 00:20:33,634
I hate trees!
361
00:20:33,675 --> 00:20:36,594
I mean, "Ooh, show me trees!"
Does that sound like me?
362
00:20:40,178 --> 00:20:44,889
No. Look, I'm sorry.
363
00:20:44,930 --> 00:20:48,640
I just... I thought you were
gonna make me do girlie crap
364
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,267
for the rest of my life.
365
00:20:51,308 --> 00:20:54,101
Eric, come on. You know
me way better than that.
366
00:20:55,226 --> 00:20:58,560
Yeah, you're right.
367
00:20:58,602 --> 00:21:03,105
So, would you like to go see
Laser Floyd next weekend?
368
00:21:03,147 --> 00:21:06,314
Oh, we can't. I signed us up for
this class, Quilting for Couples.
369
00:21:13,441 --> 00:21:14,567
I'm kidding!
370
00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:17,318
It's just for men.
371
00:21:25,155 --> 00:21:29,739
And the canoeing champion for
this year's Battle of the Network Stars
372
00:21:29,781 --> 00:21:31,907
is Red Forman!
373
00:21:33,449 --> 00:21:34,492
My team!
374
00:21:35,533 --> 00:21:37,451
Thanks, Jamie Farr.
375
00:21:37,493 --> 00:21:40,327
And I'd like to give a
special thanks to Ed Asner.
376
00:21:40,368 --> 00:21:43,745
Ed, thanks for paddling
your canoe like a girl.
377
00:21:43,787 --> 00:21:46,122
Where's your spunk now,
you big pansy?
28955
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof