All language subtitles for That 70s Show - S05E16 - Whole Lotta Love

Forman, why'd you have
to tell Red you got engaged?

Look at him yelling and waving.

Oh! A little spit
just landed on Bob.

Bob's so scared,
he's not even wiping it off.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. This time
Red is really gonna kill me.

My only hope is that he actually
sticks his foot so far up my ass,

he can't pull it out, and I get to
take him straight to hell with me.

Yeah, why did you tell him?
We had it all planned.

We were gonna give them wine,
get them all loose and juiced.

But you spilled the beans.

Good, because wine and beans
is not a good combo.

Hey. Toot-toot,
if you know what I mean.

Sorry I'm late!

I was cutting through
backyards on the way over here,

and the Hendersons
got a new jungle gym!

Whoa, they're still yelling?

Yeah. I'm trying to read Red's
lips, but I can't make it out.

He keeps calling me
a "stupid duck."

Ah!

Hey, I'll go spy on them.

I just gotta run home real quick
and change into my ninja outfit.

I don't think this situation
calls for camouflage, Kelso.

Well, that doesn't mean
it's not fun to wear, Eric!

But they're just too
young to get married.

How are they gonna
live on their own?

Eric jumps a foot every
time the furnace kicks on.

Exactly. He's not mature
enough to get married.

I'm still cutting the crusts
off his sandwiches.

Well, it's really more for me.
He's my baby.

Don't mind me. Feel free to keep talking.
I'm just getting a soda. I'm not spying.

Hey, I don't like
this engagement either,

but it's not like
they can break it off.

Why the hell not?

Well, it wouldn't be
very romantic, for one.

Oh, forget about it.
I'll take care of this myself!

No, no. Red, if you go out there and
yell, you're just gonna drive him away.

I'm sorry, Kitty, but yelling is the
only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Red, Red, I am putting
my foot down. I forbid it.

All right, fine.

- Wow! Red, I forbid you to...
- Shut up, Bob.

Burn!

- Get out!
- Yeah.

Well? What were they saying?

I don't know.

Well, I was so busy acting like I
wasn't listening, I forgot to listen.

Man.

I bet you he's trying
to think of a punishment.

He already took away the
Vista Cruiser, and fined me.

What's next?
Is he gonna cut off my pinkie?

What's the point of getting
married, Red's gonna cut that off?

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

Nina, you have such
beautiful fingers,

so long and elegant,
like spider legs.

We can't do this here.

We can go to the backseat
of the student-driver car.

But I have to warn you, I have a hard
time keeping my hands at 10:00 and 2:00.

Fez, this tension between us
is causing problems.

And here at the DMV, I've
learned it's easier to solve problems

when they're posed
in a multiple-choice format.

So, "A", we can further
explore our relationship,

and hope that
relieves the tension,

or, "B", I can fire you.

Is this some kind of trick?

- It's not a trick.
- Hmm, so it is a trick.

I choose "B."

No, you choose "A"!

Okay, I'll take "A."

But I think you should
throw a little "T" in there, too.

- Dinner's ready, Eric.
- You know what?

Dad's in there, so I'll just,
you know, forage for berries.

Look, I am not happy
about this situation either,

but I am in there making the best of
it, not out here diddling a basketball.

Mom, if I was out here
diddling a basketball,

this would be a very
different conversation.

Get in there.

Well, look who I found.

Our son,

who we love very much.

- Hey, Dad.
- Pass the peas, Steven.

- Red, your son spoke to you.
- I heard him.

But you asked me not to
yell at him, and I agreed,

so I'm just taking
your idea and refining it.

Oh, so you're giving me
the silent treatment?

So,
Steven, how was school today?

Well, in health class today,
we learned that

an early engagement's
often a sign of heavy drug use.

Hyde!

Red, you're being a big baby.

No, Mom, it's okay. Actually,
it's a pleasant surprise,

but let's see how
serious he is about it.

Hey, Dad, you know
who's got the right idea?

Russia.

I haven't felt this kind of tension
in years. Reminds me of home.

Except,
everyone's wearing a shirt.

♪ Happy birthday! ♪

Oh! Is this for me?

Yeah.

- Jackie, it's your birthday?
- Oh, I figured you knew.

A good boyfriend would have,
but whatever.

Hey, why didn't you tell me, man?
I would have gotten you something.

Well, I didn't wanna
make a big deal about it,

'cause I'm trying not to care so much
about gifts and material things, and...

Oh, it's not working,
because this is beautiful!

- Oh! I'm gonna go
try it on! Thank you!
- Mmm-hmm.

Kelso, what are you doing, man?
You trying to make me look bad?

No, I'm not doing anything.

Well, whatever you are doing,

you shouldn't go up against
me, 'cause you're not gonna win.

Well, I'm not doing anything,
and I am going to win.

No, you're gonna lose.

Well, how can I lose
if I'm not doing anything?

How can you win
if you're not doing anything?

Well, if I win, I'll admit
that I'm doing something.

Nina, I think people at work are starting
to notice there's something between us.

Well, it didn't help when you
stood up at the staff meeting

and said,
"I wanna do it with Nina."

Well, they asked if there was
any unfinished business.

I think I've figured out a way
to get rid of all this tension.

- You need to spend
the night with me.
- I'm all yours, boss lady.

But you have to tell me where to stop now,
because I have been burned in the past.

I don't want you
to stop anywhere.

Oh.

Oh!

♪ I'm going to do it!
I'm going to do it! ♪

Fez!

Sorry. I wrote this song about three
years ago, and I finally get to use it.

You know, that sweater
wasn't on sale or anything.

Paid full price.

Pretty sweet, huh?

Yes, but it gets less sweet
the more you talk about it.

Sorry. I'm done.

$27!

Hey. How was work with Red?

It was terrible. I thought Red
not talking to me would be cool,

but today, instead of telling
me to sweep the back room,

he just threw a broom at me.

Well, what about
if I talked to him?

I mean, we've always gotten along.
Maybe I can get through to him.

Donna, I'm not gonna make you
fight my battles for me.

I mean, I'm not gonna ask the
woman that I love to do what I should do.

But Red will be home at around 5:30,
so try to catch him before dinner, okay?

Attention, everyone.

My friend Fez has
some wonderful news.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I did it!

All right, Fez!

Now, now, wait, wait! I
wanna hear this. "I did it" who?

Oh, wait, Fez, I can't believe
you finally lost your virginity!

Wait, wait. This isn't like the
time you bought a hamster,

named it "Virginity",
and then lost it, is it?

No. This is the real thing.

You know, I had a hamster once.

I tied him up to a helium
balloon with a note.

Made it all
the way to Minnesota.

Alive?

No, I'm gonna send a dead
hamster up in a balloon.

- So? Come on. Tell us all about it.
- Yeah.

Okay. Well, it was incredible.

Nina and I started out kissing
in the living room,

then we moved into the
bedroom, where we undressed.

And, well, then...
Then we did it.

What... Details,
Fez. We need details!

Well, our faces
didn't line up right,

so I kept bumping
my chin on her nose.

And then there were some sounds.

What kind of sounds?

Well, I will say this,
it was not applause.

There was no romantic music,
like in the movies, so I had to hum.

And then Nina told
me to stop humming.

And then I started again
without realizing it.

And then she got mad.
And then I think she got sad.

Oh, well, don't worry, Fez.

She probably just felt bad she
was doing it with a foreigner.

And then afterwards, I
went into the bathroom, and...

And cried a little.

And then I snuck
out the back door.

Poor Fez.

Well, you know, at least it
couldn't have been any worse.

I left my
underwear in her bathroom.

Mr. Forman, you
remember what it felt like

when you fell in love with
Mrs. Forman, don't you?

Nope. One day I just woke up,
and my life was over.

Next question.

Well, I think...

I think what Mr.
Forman is trying to say

is that we worry you're
too young to get married.

Do you even know how to bake
a casserole? I don't think you do.

Look, I believe there's one
person out there for everyone.

And you guys are that person for each
other, and Eric is that person for me.

And if you could
just open your hearts,

you'd see that we should
be together forever,

because we're in love, and we
make each other really happy.

Donna, that is so romantic.

I still think you're too young.

But if it has to be someone,
I'm glad it's you.

I always wanted a daughter.

You already have a daughter.

A better daughter.

You know what, Donna? You're right.
You and Eric are perfect for each other.

- Really?
- Yes!

You're as big
a dumb ass as he is!

Welcome to the family.

I'm so nervous about
working with Nina today.

It's like, now that we did it, I
never wanna see her face again.

Yeah, you did it, all right.

Hey, hey! Look who's
wearing a $27 sweater!

Jackie,
you can't keep that sweater.

- Why not?
- Because it's from Kelso.

Yeah, but it's so pink and
fuzzy, that it just makes up for it.

Kelso, she's someone else's
girlfriend. What are you doing?

I'm not doing anything.

And it's working.

Just take it off.

Leave it on.

Take it off.
Let's see some skin.

Yeah. Take it off.

Why is everyone against me?

Because you're telling a girl
to keep her top on.

That's true. Take it off.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- Go ahead.
- After you.

- Here, let me...
- No, I know how it goes.

Okay, just...
I'm just trying to help.

Now it's stuck!

You just have to give it a yank.

This is just like last night!

Okay. Where's Red? I just found
out he called my daughter a dumb ass.

What?

Well, I really thought
I was getting through to him,

but then he snuck
a "dumb ass" in.

That is a hurtful word.

You gotta do something
about your husband, Kitty.

You guys would be
lucky to get Donna.

If anything, she's gonna
pretty your family up.

Excuse me?

I'm just saying,
we're a voluptuous bunch.

Mom, you need to talk to Dad.

I don't know why you're
surprised he's upset.

Why did you have to get engaged?

And why did you have to tell
your father? He's not stable, Eric.

Okay, fine.
I'll talk to him myself.

Eric, be careful. I looked deep
into Red's eyes, and I saw...

Well, I just saw me upside
down and tiny, but he looked mad.

You know what? I don't care.
I'm going down to Price Mart.

And if I don't come back, then,
Donna, please move on with your life.

Wedding or no wedding, we're still
getting one of those triple-decker cakes.

Oh, working with someone you have
had sex with, is the worst thing ever.

I don't know how
Donny and Marie do it.

You know, sex ruins everything.

No, I disagree, Fez.

I mean, sure,
the first time can be awkward.

Well, I mean,
it wasn't for me and Jackie.

You know, maybe I
should tell the story.

Yeah.
It's a great story, Hyde.

You know what, Kelso?
It's getting real old.

And the story I remember after your first
time, was you didn't call her for a week.

I was gonna skip that part.

Wait, that's right.
You didn't call me.

Oh, that's because he was
thinking about breaking up with you.

What?

No, I told you. I didn't call you 'cause
we were having our phones cleaned!

And then to get back on your good side,
he bought you a stupid stuffed unicorn.

Fluffycakes?

Fluffycakes is tainted?

See, he wanted something from
you, so he bought you a present.

Sound familiar?

Michael, why did you
buy me this sweater?

All right.
It's time to come clean.

I stole the sweater.

Fine.
You know what? Forget it.

I don't want it,
so just take it.

Now we're talking.
Give us a little dance.

Told you
it wouldn't work.

I wasn't doing anything!

Hey, let's not fight.

We all saw a little Jackie
side-boob. I think we all won.

- Hi, Fez. Okay, look...
- Nina,

I know what you're going to say.

The other night was awful,
and you just wanna be friends.

No. I was going to say,
the other night was awful,

and we should practice
and get better at it.

Oh, well, I have to say, I
don't hate the sound of that.

So, should I make
an appointment, or...

- Just get in the house.
- Okay. One second.

♪ I'm going to do it again!
I'm going to do it again! ♪

Okay, Dad. You can ignore me,

and you can call my girlfriend
names, but here's the thing.

Donna and I are getting married,
okay? Whether you like it or not.

But you're too young, and
you're throwing your life away.

You said I was throwing my
life away when I quit T-ball.

And I was right about that, too.

You're not marrying her,
and that's final.

Well,
Dad, you can't stop me, okay?

I'm gonna be graduating soon,
I'll be on my own. I have a job.

I mean, I make enough money
to pay for the wedding myself.

Well, that's great. But you
don't have a job. You're fired.

What?

You're fired.

Let's see you pay
for a wedding now.

Punch out,
and empty your locker.

Fine!

- But I'm keeping the smock!
- Give me the smock!

- Jackie.
- Mmm-hmm?

Happy birthday.

Steven, you shouldn't have!

Oh!

It's a Led Zeppelin T-shirt.

And it's used!

Yeah, that's my favorite one.

You're with me now,
so I wanted you to have it.

Aw, Steven, I love it!

- Do I have to wear it?
- No.

Steven, I love it! Oh!

Well, that was a nice
20 minutes of silence.

Who wants a little kick in
their coffee? I know I do.

You're the dumb ass!